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Keith woke up to muffled crying. And really, it wasn't so much muffled, more like when someone sneezes right at the quiet part of a movie.
So, loud.
He sighed, and shifted onto his back, his eyes narrowed on the ceiling, but really, he was just waiting for him to come in. It had been a nightly occurrence for Lance to wake up crying or yelling out a name- her name. And after a few nights of this, Lance finally worked up the courage to come to Keith's room, which was right down the hall from his.
They never spoke, Lance would come in and stand fidgeting at the doors edge, and Keith would quietly huff, but he always lifted the corner of the blanket- a silent offering. Lance had yet to turn him down.
They would do nothing but lay together, sometimes Lance wanted to hold Keith and he'd go about moving him around until they were both comfortable. Or, in other cases, Keith was the one spooning up behind Lance. Or they didn't touch, sometimes just lying side by side was enough.
It all really depended on the dream.
They never spoke though, not once in the months since the lions left and Keith came and went with every new assignment. They didn't talk about their thing. Until Lance did.
The muffled crying had stopped and if Keith strained his ears enough, he could just make out slippered feet shuffling along the floor. Lance appeared like an unwelcome cold. Keith just stared from his sprawled position as Lance gazed down at him from the door. His eyes were bloodshot and dark bruises decorated his eyes like makeup, he looked like hell.
With a flick of his finger and a few wiggles, Keith had made enough room for Lance to slip into the twin sized bed. He could've gone for a king, but Keith didn't see the point when he wasn't spending everyday there. New Altea wasn't his home and Keith had never planned on making his visits an annual thing, but Lance- Lance looked lonely without Pidge or Hunk. And Keith was weak for all his Galra heritage.
Lance cautiously got in, his hand hesitating to grasp the blanket, something he hadn't done since the first time. Keith didn't say or do anything. Eventually, he got over whatever was bothering him and climbed in.
After a few false starts, Lance had Keith where he wanted him. They were on their sides, Lance's knees tucked up behind Keith's, with his arms wrapped firmly around Keith's waist. He felt secure and safe. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.
“Thanks, Keith.” Lance broke the silence, disrupted their thing . The thing where neither of them spoke about it. "You're not as bad as people think you are."
Keith didn't know if that was meant to be a compliment or an insult. The only thing he really understood, was there were people talking about him. And usually Keith didn't let what others say get to him, but he also would rather have someone say their problem to his face.
“Uh- thanks?” Lance snorted, his grip tightening with the action before relaxing again. Keith shivered when hot breath brushed against his neck hair- wolf hair, Krolia had called it.
“I always thought you were an arrogant jerk back at the garrison,” Keith opened his mouth to say something, anything in his defense, but Lance kept talking. “But then we went to space and met- met Allura and Coran. And then you weren't- a jerk,” he finished lamely.
And Keith didn't understand , he didn't know why Lance was telling him this. Didn't understand the point. They hadn't been friends at the garrison and hadn't really been friends out in space either. “We weren't friends though.”
Lance's noise of offense was drowned out by the sudden noise of shuffling sheets. Keith had no time to brace himself as Lance flipped him over and loomed. "I thought we were friends!"
And the thing was, Lance looked wounded, and Keith shrank back against the mattress in the face of so much hurt. “I mean- we are. Now. We're friends now.” Lance didn't look convinced. And Keith ached to do something crazy.
His eyes flickered down.
Lance's own caught the movement and looked surprised. And...pleased?
He moved, and maybe Keith met him halfway. Maybe he whispered a breathy Lance when they broke apart, only to come together again for a second, then a third. And maybe this was supposed to happen, it felt right and for the first time since everything had started, Keith felt like he could breathe again.
Lance made sense, but- but Lance loved Allura and even if she was gone, he still loved her. Keith could visibly see what the pain of losing her had done to him. It didn't matter if Lance had always looked to him before he looked to Allura or that Lance smiled a certain way or touched him all gentle and kind. Lance didn't love him . He was just confused and mistaking kindness for something else.
“Wait,” he pushed back on a firm chest, his palm braced flat against the warm and tan muscles. He could feel the power shifting under all that skin and Keith wanted. “You don't want this.”
“Sure I do. I kissed you, didn't I?” Lance snorted, his nose scrunching adorably and his trademark smile pointed down at Keith. It was crooked and made his eyes squint, and Keith found him breathtaking.
“Fine. I don't want this.” Lies . He was a liar and a terrible one too. If the inscrutable look Lance wore was anything to by.
Lance's only reaction was narrowing eyes. His skepticism parable and Keith flinched when he pressed closer. “Lie to me then. We've been dancing around this- ” he gestured between them, “for months. So, lie to me and tell me that you don't want this. Don't want me. ”
Keith opened his mouth to do just that, but- Lance looked tired. And not tired from being up almost every night for months, but a bone deep weariness that had settled into his bones, across drooping shoulders and onto the planes of his face. He looked older, and just so tired. Keith couldn't do it, he shook his head.
“I-” his tongue fumbled the words, nearly choking him. “I think-”
Lance rolled his eyes, but not angrily. His gaze was soft and gentle and- oh. They were kissing again. Keith liked kissing Lance. He kissed like he talked, awkward and fumbling. One hand cupped Keith's cheek, while the other braced a forearm against the mattress. Keith didn't know what to do with his hands, but he eventually decided that if Lance was going to touch him , then it couldn't hurt to return the favor.
Lance moaned when his hand brushed along his back, Keith jumped at the noise. But when another, more encouraging sound escaped, Keith pressed insistent fingers into Lance's spine.
He felt hot under his shirt and Keith wanted to rip it off, anything to stop the warmth that was building. Lance seemed to have the same thought, his fingers slipping under Keith's shirt and slowly dragging his hands, palm flat against his chest, upwards. The shirt was tugged along and Keith was helpless to stop it, he didn't want to stop it.
Lance's hands brushed over his nipples and Keith whined, his back arching at the sudden heat. He pressed another kiss to Keith's lips, and Keith could feel the smile on his lips.
“I still love Allura, but-” Lance sucked a bruise into his neck, his teeth gently tugging and nipping. “But I love you too. I have for awhile. It wasn't until we got back to Earth and I took her to my tree,” he paused, his breath hot against Keith's neck. Keith gently cupped Lance's cheek, silently urging him to look up. “I realized when you told me that anyone would be lucky to have me.”
Keith stiffened, a fierce heat building on his cheekbones that he knew his pale complexion wouldn't hide. He thought back to that moment, Cosmo a line of warmth at his side while they watched the sunset, and then Lance's sudden appearance. His awkward need to be accepted by Allura, to be loved. Keith had ached when he told him that, it felt like he was giving up everything to make Lance happy and would gladly do so again.
Keith didn't know what to say, everything he thought sounded insufficient and underwhelming. “I-”
“Sh. I know,” Lance pressed another kiss to Keith's lips. “I've known for a while and I'm sorry it took so long.”
Keith squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the tears that slowly leaked out of the corner of his eyes. “I-” he never thought it'd be this hard to say it. Lance looked wearily hopeful, his eyes bright and shiny from either unshed tears or the possible reciprocation. “I love you too,” he sighed out in a whoosh of noise.
Lance's smile was blinding as he stooped down to steal more kisses. Keith wasn't known for laughing, he barely even chuckled, but when Lance pressed open-mouth kisses, leaving a wet trail from his mouth to his chest, Keith did. He broke out into a snort, which soon turned into giggles. He tried to cover them with his hands, but Keith was just so happy.
“Keith?” Lance pulled away, an unsure smile on his face.
“I love you,” Keith said.
Lance tilted his head like an adorable puppy. Willing to humor, but not really understanding. “I love you too.”