Chapter Text
He was going to ask him if he wanted to eat lunch together but when he saw him surrounded by friends, laughing and smiling Toshinori simply stood there, something holding him back.
They hadn’t had much time together lately, what with Izuku having been so busy with class activities and weekend training camps so the man was feeling rather lonely. He missed their regular training sessions together as well as the quiet moments alone with the boy that he found were becoming more and more rare these days.
Toshinori sighs and watches for a moment more before trudging down the hall towards the teachers’ lounge. What was he thinking anyway? Of course Izuku should be around people his own age and training with his peers. What use was there in hanging around a retired, quirkless old man? Toshinori immediately hears Izuku’s protesting voice in his head. ”You’re not old!” He was such a kind boy and just the thought of his pouting face at his mentor’s self-deprecating words causes a small smile to twitch at the edge of Toshinori’s lips.
He would just have to find a way to be useful to Izuku. Maybe he’s growing weak in his later years but he doesn’t think he could stop himself from craving the boy’s attention and wanting to be in his presence as much as possible. He refuses to become a hindrance to Izuku so he silently vows to keep up his strength and do his very best to continue being a mentor to the boy, encouraging him and pushing him forward even if it means Toshinori is left behind. He loves the boy but he knows he’s being selfish every time he imagines them together, especially when his fantasies stray into territory that’s certainly not appropriate for a man of his age to have about a boy Izuku’s age. Young Midoryia idolized him, as a hero, for years but those days are surely over and now he needs to face the facts that he’s no longer that man and Izuku has moved on. No; as much as he dreams of his boy as his and his alone he knows it’s simply that -- a dream.
Sounds of robust laughter and chatter surround the teens as they enjoy a nice, wholesome conversation during lunch that was littered with simple jokes, observations from recent events, and praise for each other as they make note of everyone's growth. Izuku was glad that things have calmed down as of late and was just happy to be spending time with his friends, but he couldn't help but feel that something was amiss. He was having a good time, but still didn't feel good per se. He smiled at the others as they spoke -- wanting to appear invested while his mind was slightly adrift. He didn't want to appear rude after all.
For a moment he felt like he was being watched, that strange sensation of eyes hard pressed on him. Trying not to bring too much attention to himself, he ever so slightly turns his head and looks from the corner of his eye. A short glimpse of blond hair comes into view and is as gone as quickly as it came. Was that All Might? Wait... All Might!? When was the last time time they had spoken? Honestly he couldn't recall. He had been so busy recently that he hadn't had the time to spend it with his favorite hero. That surely had to be what was bothering him. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach, it was very rare for him to not have All Might on his mind 24/7. Was he okay? Was there really a point in worrying? He was sure it was a bit of a relief to have some free time away from his normally obsessive fanboy and successor. Surely he wanted time to himself. Right? At least that's what he felt he had to tell himself or he would succumb to guilt.
He moved his attention back toward his friends, interjecting as Iida spoke, apologizing and asking to excuse himself. He could see that they were a bit concerned about him choosing to leave abruptly, but could tell they didn't wish to pry and let him be on his way -- continuing their discussion.
Izuku figured that his mentor was off to the Teachers’ lounge -- per the usual and made his way down the hall to engage with him. He opened the door and walked in, making his way to his usual spot to sit in front of him. He greeted him with a smile, trying to act as natural as possible.
"H - Hey, All Might!"
Toshinori could tell he was grinning ridiculously and it took him a moment to regain his composure and force his features into an expression more suitable to the situation. It must look odd to Izuku, his teacher getting so excited over his mere presence. Toshinori can barely contain himself though; it’s felt like an eternity since they shared a moment alone like this.
“Mi-Midoriya boy! How have you been?”
The man’s fingernails dig sharply into his own skin where he nervously clasps his hands together in his lap. It’s such a mundane way to start a conversation after so long apart and he inwardly chastises himself although he can’t think of anything else to add. Midoriya, bless him, doesn’t seem to notice, or at least pretends not to notice , Toshinori’s unusual demeanor and happily fills him in on his recent training and the progress he’s made. Toshinori feels a bit jealous that he’s missed out on all of this but he can’t remain too upset when his boy is doing so well.
Midoriya looks at him after filling him in, smiling and patiently waiting for some kind of response.
He’s just so proud of all that Izuku has accomplished in the past month. He’s progressing so well and Toshinori couldn’t be more pleased with his chosen successor. Toshinori wants to express this in some way, if only to see Izuku’s adorable blush when receiving praise, but at the moment he’s at a loss for a way to do so. He would normally ruffle the boy’s hair and pull him into a hug which always seemed to make Izuku smile but for some reason just the idea suddenly seems strange. Is it because of their recent time apart? Is it because Toshinori is suddenly becoming more aware of his inappropriate feelings towards the boy? He’s not sure but it doesn’t seem like the right action to take at the moment.
An awkward silence falls over the pair and Izuku looked out the window, at his lap, and then back at Toshinori.
”Pathetic! Say something, Toshi! You can’t just sit here staring at him like a creep,” the man curses his own indecision.
Toshinori panics and with a puff of smoke he towers before Midoriya in his hero form. He was so much more confident expressing himself like this. “You’re making quite the progress young man!,” he gestures grandly, making a “V” for “victory” with his fingers. “The top pro-heroes better watch out! Before they know it you’ll be passing them up in the rankings!”
His famous smile is unwavering before a trickle of blood drips from the corner of his mouth and with another burst of smoke he stands before the boy, still towering over him but probably much less impressively. He huffs out a nervous laugh, smoothing out his suit jacket and hoping he isn’t coming across as awkward as he thinks he is.
“O - Oh! I’ve been doing well! Keeping up with my training and making sure that I’m on the proper path to becoming the perfect vessel for One for All! U - Uhm… Have you been… watching me?
The smile that formed on Izuku’s face was beaming and he couldn’t help but feel that perhaps All Might was more the type to take to being a silent guardian? The awkward silence that followed gave a different impression though, and was -- quite honestly -- agonizing. Maybe the hero didn’t know what to say about that question without sounding like a strange person? Maybe Izuku had worded it problematically… What he’d gotten as a response didn’t make it all that much better, either.
The way that All Might awkwardly held his fingers up and the forced feeling of his statement had made the boy slightly uncomfortable, to say the least. They hadn’t seen each other in so long that perhaps their rhythm was off and Izuku could tell that there was something strange with the way All Might was acting. Usually, he could depend the pro hero to be relatively in control of most situations… The way he’d unnaturally gone into his hero form to make that bold statement with the cheese of the “V” only proved that there was something on the man’s mind.
All at the same time, however, Izuku couldn’t help but feel that it was… kind of cute. Like All Might was a schoolgirl who hadn’t seen her crush over the summer and her feelings were gushing upon sight. Wanting to clear the air a bit, Izuku kept his smile up and reached up to pat All Might on the shoulder, his arm extending a bit further than he’d anticipated and looking more like he was stretching just to accomplish this simple task.
“I’m glad that you think so! I mean, I don’t think I’ve gotten that far, so I’ll just have to work even harder to make that the truth! But… I’ve been so busy, I’m sorry for not keeping up… How have you been, All Might?”
Toshinori flushes slightly at the simple bit of contact and inwardly curses how worked up he’s letting himself get over just the boy’s hand on his shoulder. If Izuku only knew his thoughts he’d surely be creeped out and leave right then.
”Get it together, Toshi, you idiotic old man! He’s your student. He’s looking to you for guidance, not a relationship!”
Toshinori sits back down and tries his best to appear relaxed and confident.
“Good! Good! I’ve been… good.”
Well, that wasn’t quite as convincing as it had sounded when he said it in his head.
The young man looked at All Might inquisitively, as he’d noticed the pro really was acting a bit off. For what reason? Izuku wasn't so sure. He really hoped it wasn't anything he did or said that made the man uncomfortable. He'd hate to be the cause for Toshinori to be seemingly… distracted? If that was the right way to interpret his behavior.
"All Might, are you really sure everything's good ?"
Izuku leaned forward and stared at the older man with curious eyes. He stared at him with slow spaced out blinks as he gave the his hero his utmost attention.
Goodness, the boy’s looking at him so intensely he can’t help but avert his eyes after a moment. It feels like he’s being looked through and his lies are right there on display.
He should have known better. Yes, they’ve been apart for some time… But in the end, that doesn’t change the fact that they still know each other well and can sense when the other is a bit off.
Toshinori has to inwardly chuckle at how much like a couple they sometimes sound in his own head.
But the boy is still waiting for an answer, isn’t he?
Toshinori pulls at his shirt collar a bit anxiously and decides to be at least somewhat truthful with Young Midoriya.
“To be honest, my boy, I… I suppose I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Lots of thoughts have been swirling around in this crazy head of mine.” He stands and steps over to Izuku with a sudden bit of bravery, smiling down at him and affectionately ruffling his hair. “Don’t worry about this silly old man though. I’ll be back to normal soon enough.”
He’s concealed so much and yet he can only hope he’s been just truthful enough that he can ease any worries he might cause the boy.
All Might seemed a lot more at ease from the young man's perspective but he still couldn't help but feel that details were being omitted. Izuku has never been fond of the idea that his mentor would hide things from him -- it really affected him to think that perhaps he wasn't trusted or being seen as a child who couldn't understand. Maybe it'd be wiser to say nothing, but if they were as close as he felt the two of them were, he had to coax the truth out of the man. He ultimately wanted transparency.
"Please, All Might! If there is anything, don't keep it from me. If something's been bothering you as much as it seems to be, maybe I can help you in some way? I want to help you if I can... I just don't like it when you hide things from me. I thought we've been past this already."
Toshinori’s hand freezes and then he slowly lifts it from where it was tangled in Izuku’s curls and lets it drop back to his side. The man shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another as guilt washes over him at Izuku’s words. He just had to pick such a perceptive young man to be his successor, didn’t he?
Young Midoriya genuinely seems worried about him though. Toshinori supposed be should have expected nothing less. He really is such a kind and attentive boy. Toshinori owes it to him to be more open. It has to be insulting to be kept in the dark so often about his mentor’s true thoughts. He had, himself, encouraged Izuku to speak freely and share with his mentor whatever was on his mind. And yet… once again he’s managed to put himself in a difficult situation.
It’s not as if he can simply just come out and say how he feels about Izuku. The boy’s so young and it’s wrong for him to even feel this way about him. If Izuku knew, there’s surely no way he’d want to continue spending this time together. He’d likely pull away and stop coming around altogether.
Toshinori is certain that would break him.
There’s also the fact that Izuku is supposed to be the next Symbol of Peace. A rift in their relationship could ruin everything they’ve worked for and hinder Izuku’s progress.
“My boy...”
Toshinori slumps in relief as the bell signaling the end of the student lunch period rings. Their talk will have to wait for now, giving him some much needed time to think.