Chapter Text
Neil’s barely managed to close the door before Andrew pushes him against it, mouth on his, hands clutching at his waist. Undecided about whether to clutch at his shirt or rip it off.
Neil’s breath is already ragged from running up the three flights of stairs to Andrew’s apartment and he has to gasp a breath every few seconds. His lips never break contact with Andrew’s and they seem to breathe into each other.
Neil is clutching Andrews neck, cradling his jaw, fingertips still tingling from the cold outside. Andrew’s hands decide on their course. Pulling Neil’s jacket clean off, throwing it to the floor and then Andrew’s hands snake up to clasp his hair. He clutches Neil’s curls in one hand and roughly pulls back.
Neil’s head hits the door, but Andrews hand takes all the impact. Neil’s thankful for the cushion, he’s just finished the last game of the season. It was brutal and he’s sore everywhere, but he’s finally back in Andrew’s hands. It feels like everything is clear and sharp. And then he’s kissing down the side of Neil’s neck. It’s wet and borders on harsh. Desperate. And Neil tries to crane his head because he wants more.
He pants and his chest is heaving already. He feels like a star suddenly gone super nova. His hands and feet are still chilled but his face is flush. He feels cold and too hot all at once. And then theres teeth on his neck and he moans, which only encourages Andrew further. He’s pressed against the door for a long time. He loses track of time because theres only heat and Andrew and it’s been too long since they were together.
Shit, he’s gonna have to cover up at practise... He begins the thought but it trails off as he grabs at Andrew’s hair. Theres just Andrew and Andrews mouth and oh— he gasps as andrew bites at his ear and then trails kisses all down to his collarbone.
“Andrew, Andrew,” he whispers. Fuck, he’s barely arrived and he already sounds wrecked beyond belief. He’d be embarrassed, except that this is Andrew. “Bedroom, bed. Let’s—“ he doesnt finish before Andrew grunts into his neck and grabs at his wrist, hauling him quickly behind him. Neil’s grin is bursting from his face as he is unceremoniously flung onto the bed. “Take your clothes off, Josten.” Andrew growls, he steps to the night stand to grab a bottle of lube. Throwing it on the bed.
Neil’s already kicking off his shoes. He crosses his arms at his shirt’s hem to pull it off... and then somehow gets it stuck at his neck. He makes a decidedly unsexy whimper and Andrew pulls it all the way off. “God, Josten, you're useless.” The insult is somehow marred by the way his breath leaves him.
Neil’s pink in the cheeks for a second and then he lets out a sigh of a laugh. “Stop calling me Josten, if you're gonna fuck me.” Andrews hands are trailing along his torso now. He’s still all dressed, but he was only in pijamas when Neil walked in.
“Is that what you want?” He moves to take his own shirt off. “For me to fuck you? Should i get your pretty cock all worked up with my mouth? Eat you out till you’re begging me to cum?” He whispers into Neil’s ear, as his hands find his nipples and pull, twist. Gently at first and then harder.
He trails hot kisses all up and down his torso. Sucking hear and there. Neil makes a choking sound and then moans. “Andrew,” he gasps as he scratches at his back, fingers digging in, trying to find some purchase and his hips buck a little. It doesnt seem on purpose, erratic and more desperate than usual. Andrew can feel how hard he’s getting, even through Neil’s jeans and his own sweats.
Andrew shoves his shoulders back. More of a suggestion than direction, but he falls onto his back easily, whispering Andrews name in between heavy breathing. Andrew kisses his way down Neil’s body a few more times. Dragging his teeth and tongue down all the heavy scarring that litters his skin. He’s done this enough times that he knows where to be gentle and where he can be rougher.
He reaches his waist and slows down, because he’s been waiting so long to do this. He’s had weeks to think about it and imagine it. Late at night, his memory lets him conjure up incredibly realistic fantasies, but with Neil the real thing is so much— just incomparably better.
He knows Neil doesnt get off like he does. Says he cant and doesnt want to when Andrew isnt there. But sometimes when its been too long since theyve seen each other or been able to steal some time away to whisper dirty things too each other over the phone, Neil will try to think about Andrew and make himself come. He wonders if Neil tried it this time. Neil was in finals and they hadnt seen each other in months. He thinks of Neil, all alone and getting hard just from thinking about him.
He runs his fingers along the edge of his waistband. Dipping in and out. Touching his skin and then pulling back as he takes Neil’s socks off and brushes his other hand along his ankles, under the rough material. He keeps this up for a while. Sometimes using his tongue, or nipping lightly in the more sensitive spots. He takes his time.
Neil’s begging now with only his name. And then Andrew nuzzles against Neil’s dick, over his jeans, drags his nose and lips along the outline of his rock hard erection, pressing just hard enough. And Neil whimpers— breath leaving him all at once and he cries out, pathetically.
Andrew finally takes pity on him and removes his jeans, stripping them off as fast as he can but not touching him, yet.
“Move back,” he says, low and almost menacing. He’s also gotten hard, but he’s too busy thinking about driving Neil to the brink right now. The words are barely out of his mouth before Neil crawls back, “Oh god, just touch me already. Andrew, I need—“ he doesnt finish before Andrew crawls over him. On all fours and kisses him. Pushing his tongue roughly into his mouth and Neil bites hard, almost drawing blood.
Andrew pulls away, so he can see the flush and blown pupils. He looks feverish, and when Andrew caresses his cheek, lightly, with the back of his fingers, running down one of his knife scars; Neil’s mouth goes wide, his eyes flutter and for a moment Andrew think he might come right there and then.
He licks lightly over the burns on his cheek, pressing slow kiss there, lightly. “Enough,” Neil almost sounds properly pissed off, “I cant take anymore.” He’s pushed up on his elbows, “Do something already, anything.”
Andrew’s insulted he’s still coherent enough to be mouthy. He pushes him back down with a kiss, grabs at his jaw to turn his head. Neil’s breath comes out in a huff. His other hand trails along Neil’s side and hip. Andrew works his mouth against the soft bit of skin behind his ear and then breathes into Neil’s ear. Careful to keep his hips high enough out of reach of Neil’s.
“I’m not touching you tonight,” Neil’s so worked up he’s trembling, and that it sends a thrill tingling across Andrew’s limbs and sharply in his groin.
“I’m gonna fuck you nice and slow and youre going to be good for me and come; from just my cock inside you. Do you think you can do that for me? Come when I tell you, when I’m deep inside you? What do you say?” Andrew smooths Neils hair back, tracing the flush of blood and the white outlines of scar tissue. His light eyes are only half open; and his parted lips inviting. “You're so pretty, Neil. Gorgeous when you need to be fucked.”
Neil takes a sharp breath that then trembles on it’s way out. He’s nodding quickly, his arms give out and he falls back onto the bed arching his head back and grunting weakly. Andrew kisses along his jaw. He stops to ask, against the dip of his neck, and he asks in the most innocent tone he could ever manage. “Yes?”
And Neil swears he feels Andrew is grinning, much too satisfying again with him self. But Neil feels like his insides are going to combust and like his chest is going to explode, his pulse is racing harder than from any Exy game he’s ever played. His very bones seem melted and theres lightning flowing through every nerve ending. Impossibly hot where he’s being touched and icy cold where he isn't.
“Yes,” he gasps, “‘Drew. Yes, yes, yes.” He’s nearly shouting, “Fuck me already. Need it. Need you.”
Andrew makes quick work of reaching over the bed, grabbing the lube and coating his fingers with it. Neil closes his eyes and tries to calm his breathing. Andrew gives him a moment to recover from the delicious torture he’s been mercilessly inflicting. It’s fun and satisfying to see Neil completely out if control.
Then he grabs underneath Neil’s knee with his dry hand, bends it up and towards him, pulling Neil even closer. He doesnt touch his dick at all, but trails his fingers from his balls down to his hole and traces it. Pushing a finger in and out. Going deeper every time and then pulling out to tease him.
Neil’s thrown his arm over his face. He’s biting his lip raw and when Andrew finally, finally hits his prostate, and starts massage there ever so gently, Neil groans and cries out like he’s being filmed. Andrew crawls up Neil’s body and reaches to pull his bottom lip free. Neil’s mouth goes slack so Andrew slides two fingers in. Neil slides his tongue down the length of them and sucks gently.
Andrew cant help himself. He loses control for an aching moment. He’s straddling one of Neil’s legs and he lowers himself on it, rutting against him. He’s still in his sweatpants. He wasn't wearing any briefs underneath so the friction is enough to give him some relief. He cant help himself, not with Neil so lost in this pleasurable agony Andrew’s concocted. He just cant help it.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes.” Neil hurries to say, slurring his words. As if Andrew’s sudden relief was his own.
God, Neil’s so fucking perfect. He decides to tell him so. Andrew pulls his fingers out from Neil’s hole, massaging against his prostate roughly as he does. Neils just babbling now, Andrew’s name and some cursing, in every language he knows. Andrew moves, nearly pouncing on Neil, knees on either side of his hips.
He’s grabbing both sides of Neil’s face, the tips of Andrew’s fingers lost in his hair. His fingers are still slick and the lube mixes with the sweat from Neils skin. It filthy and it’s so, so arousing. Andrew is kissing him with no restraint. And Neils’s still making incoherent sounds into his mouth, breathing him in as Andrew pushes his tongue further into Neil’s mouth, then traces his lips with it when he needs to come up for air.
“Andrew, Andrew,” Neil’s begging now, and Andrew’s going to give him what he wants. But first...
“Look at you, Neil. You’re so pretty underneath me, you're practically gagging for it.” Andrew’s teasing is somewhat ruined by the breathy way his voice comes out. But it’s having the desired effect regardless, so he keeps going. “What is it you want Neil?” He’s pressing one of Neil’s shoulders into the mattress, without much force, but effectively. “What do you need from me?” He tugs at Neil’s hair, playing with it, lightly. As if he was lulling him to sleep, instead of working him up into the heights of ecstasy. “What can I give you?”
“Need— Drew, I,” he’s incapable of forming sentences. Theres something that sounds like German. He’s so hard it’s physically painful. But it’s like the bruises on his neck. All throbbing and calling for attention but the more Andrew holds back the better it feels when it hurts. Neil wants to be good for Andrew.
He makes more noises and and Andrew starts kissing him again. Soft, barely kisses. “Use your words.” He thinks Neil might start begging in earnest. Andrew wouldn't even mind if he said ‘please’ right now; in this moment, it would be okay. He’s blissfully existing solely for this man on his bed. Anything, and everything else is far, far away.
But he doesn't think Neil will, he’s hasn't heard Neil say the word please in front of him in years. Not once. He thought Neil might also have a similar distaste for it, but he’s overheard him use it with others. Andrew’s got him where he wants him, half out of his mind. And he wont even say it now, when Andrew’s worked him up worse than ever before.
He’s gasping, head turned to that his words vibrate against Andrews wrist, “Need it, Andrew. I cant take it.” He grabs at his arm, “I need you inside me. Your cock. Right now. Right now, Andrew. I cant anymore. Fuck me already. You... I, I nee-.”
“Shh, shh,” he drags his finger over Neil’s lips. The bottom one dragging down. It’s bleeding, just a bit. And Andrew licks it away. “Okay, okay. You’ve been so good for me. Haven't you?” Neil’s shut his eyes and is nodding frantically, sweat glistening on his brow. “Such a good boy for me, right? So patient and willing.”
Andrew’s moving around has tugged his waistband down his hips and now pulls his pants the rest of the way down, below his knees and then kicks them off. He palms himself a couple of times. Gasping at the way it sends shocks all over his body.
He guides himself to Neil’s entrance and rubs the tip over his asshole. “You've been so patient, Neil.” Andrew grabs a flat pillow lying against the headboard and nudges Neil’s hips up. His dick is hard and red, falling against his abdomen. He arches his back obediently as Andrew slips the pillow under his hips. “‘ve been so good. Open up for me, Neil.” And Neil bends his knees further, and parts his legs even wider. Andrew guides himself in.
Andrew pushes into him with one long, slow but hard thrust. And Neil is silent for a moment before he chokes on a moan. And he starts rambling again, “Yes, yesyes, yes, yes-yes.” Andrew rests one hand at Neil’s side and leans into him. Neil grabs at his wrist and spread his fingers. They dig in, not very hard, but Andrew can feel his nails on the scars there and it hurts so, so deliriously good.
“Thank you, thank-you-thankyou.” Neil is saying and thats something he’s never said to Andrew. He repeats it in a couple of languages. It shocks Andrew and he feels a strange sort of warmth running through him like the blood his racing heart is pumping through him now.
“You’re so good for me, Neil. Taking my cock so well. Look how filled up and stretched open you are.” Neil’s mumbling yeses and crying around his name. He’s warm and pliant, but theres an electric buzz that seems to be radiating from his skin. It’s intoxicating. Neither of them are going to last much longer. Andrew cant take anymore, and Neil’s way past feverish.
So he starts moving in and out of Neil, picking up the pace. He doesn't let himself get frantic. It’s hard and slow but strong. He knows Neil likes being filled up, and likes feeling well-fucked. He thrusts into him, hard and bottoming out into him with every stroke. He build up slowly, barely in control. “Look at how good you look with me inside you. Taking it so well and willingly.”
“Oh, god. Oh god, Andrew.” He moans and meaningless noises are spilling out of his mouth. Half words, half sounds of pleasure.
Andrew keeps thrusting his whole cock in and out of Neil’s ass. He bends and buries his face into Neil’s neck and it pushes him somehow deeper. Neil groans and gasps. Andrew slams his hips down, slow but hard.
“Stop.” Neil’s voice cuts through some of the roaring in Andrew’s ears and he follows the sudden order before his mind even registers what Neil has said. Freezing in the middle of his movement. He’s still buried halfway inside Neil, and quickly pushes himself up to look at his face.
“Stop, no. Stop Andrew.” Neil’s breathing hard, still flushed but eyes suddenly wide open and clear. Andrew’s whole body freezes at the word. At the ‘no’ that’s come out of his mouth, and in the next heartbeat he’s pulling out and stumbling off the bed.
Neil’s sat half up, looking at him with shocked, glassy eyes and Andrew has absolutely no idea what to do. What he’s done. Where he’s gone wrong.
Neil scoots back and off the pillow. He shoves his knees together and grabs at them. He shudders, eyes still locked on Andrew’s, theres only shock, and then puts his head down his knees. His hands move to clutch at his hair and he’s yanking at it. Andrew’s breathing is still hard. He’s completely frozen in place.
“Neil?” Is all he can manage. He needs to know what to do. He doesn't dare get any closer to him. Should he leave? What the fuck’s happened. Neil’s said no before. Especially at the beginning. But always before they’d started anything. Or before they were both totally naked. And he hadn’t done anything wrong any of those times, nothing to directly cause it. Neil had just not wanted to continue.
And now Neils curled on the bed, not meeting his eyes, where not even a minute ago Andrew had been fucking him, doing and saying so many things to him. A white hot shock goes through him. A cold terror that kills any lingering arousal in his body. And Neil still doesn't say anything.
Neil has never wanted Andrew to leave his side. All the other times he’s stopped them having sex. “Neil?” But this feels different. He should— “Neil, do you want me to leave?” Its an endless moment where theres nothing. He most definitely doesn't want to leave Neil alone. He wants to make this better somehow. He needs to know what he did wrong. Where he misunderstood. But right now what he wants is unimportant.
He almost misses the word. It’s hardly more than a whisper. He’s turned his head to the side, still resting on his knees, “Yes. Andr— go away?” His voice cracks on Andrew’s name, he says yes like its a question. And the words are so faint, he isn't sure he heard right. Neil wants him to leave.
Theres nothing Andrew wants to do less in all the world than leave Neil alone right now. But Neil’s just told him to. He bends down and reaches to grab his sweats. Not daring to take a single step forward. Then he leaves the room. And he doesnt look back at Neil as he shuts the door behind him.