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Snape sagged bonelessly into the chair by the fire, leaning back into the embrace of its comfortable - if slightly dusty - cushions and propping his feet on the ottoman. As an afterthought, he reached for the glass of brandy he had appropriated from the kitchen a few minutes ago. He took a long swallow, the warm burn of the alcohol adding to his unaccustomed feeling of contentment.
Perhaps he would just sleep right here. After all, the noise from the party going on downstairs was muted by distance so as to be almost tolerable. And although he still didn't want to join in the Order's impromptu celebration of the Dark Lord's defeat, neither did he care to be completely alone, as he would be if he returned to Hogwarts tonight.
Damp strands of hair fell over his face, and he pushed them back impatiently. At least he was clean, and wearing clean clothing. He had burned the robes he'd worn this afternoon at that last desperate fight and then spent an hour locked in one of the bathrooms, scrubbing his skin, his hair, everything, until the stink of blood and smoke and rank fear sweat had washed away, leaving him smelling incongruously of flowers. Cleaning charms were usually adequate for his needs, but there had been something necessary about the soap and hot water this time, as if the bath were purifying more than his body.
Another swallow, and he was relaxed, but not relaxed enough to welcome the creak of the door signaling an intrusion on his privacy.
"Out. Find some other niche in which to couple," he ordered, assuming the interlopers were a pair of would-be lovebirds thinking this tiny parlor would be unoccupied. He looked up, intending to enforce his command with a glare that would put any overexcited, hormonal adolescents to flight, and found Remus Lupin surveying him.
"An inordinate number of couples do seem to be sneaking up to the bedrooms, but that's not why I'm here," Lupin said with a faintly amused expression.
Snape scowled, his feeling of relaxation vanishing. He swung his feet onto the floor and sat up straight. "Why are you here, Lupin? I don't imagine it's for the pleasure of my company."
Lupin's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he extended the bundle of dark green cloth he was carrying. "This seems like as good a time as any to settle up, Severus."
"Settle what?" Snape asked warily, his hand creeping toward his wand.
In response, Lupin tossed the bundle into his lap.
Snape examined the outer layer of fabric cautiously. Soft heavy cloth, trimmed with braided cord and jet buttons - a dress? "What..." He fell silent as Lupin removed a small stuffed bird from his pocket and, with a tap of his wand, enlarged it. Into a vulture-topped hat. Snape surged to his feet, the dress falling into a heap on the floor. His fingers whitened around his wand.
"There you go, Severus," Lupin said cheerfully, repeating the process on an oversized red handbag and a fox-fur scarf.
Snape's lips peeled back from his teeth in a snarl, and his hand shook with the effort of not hexing Lupin senseless. "Is this your idea of a joke, Lupin?" he hissed.
"Not at all," Lupin replied, settling in on the sofa as if he were unaware his life was in danger. "Surely you haven't forgotten your vow?"
"My vow? I never..." Snape's voice trailed off as he remembered the conversation to which Lupin must be referring, then he exploded. "That was four years ago, Lupin! And I wasn't serious!"
Lupin smiled his infuriating, calm smile. "You sounded serious enough to me, Severus, when you swore you actually would wear Neville's grandmother's dress if... let's see..." He tapped his lips with one finger, then sat up with a patently false air of discovery. "Oh, yes. 'If that imbecile Longbottom ever manages to do anything remotely worthwhile.' I believe that was it, wasn't it, Severus?" With a feral, unfriendly grin, Lupin continued, "I'd say capturing Bellatrix counts as worthwhile. Wouldn't you?"
"I am not wearing that - abomination!" Snape shouted.
Lupin shrugged. "Your choice, I suppose," he said calmly. Rising to his feet, he continued, "But if you aren't going to honor your word, I don't think I'll be out of line in mentioning it. A few times. And do you know most people here tonight have never heard that story? Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville - they're all here, I'm sure they could help me tell it properly..."
Snape's mouth was pressed into a bitter line. "Blackmail, Lupin? And what if I do put this...thing on?" he asked, punctuating his question with a vicious kick at the pile of fabric.
Lupin shrugged again. "You put it on, you take it off. I'll have nothing more to say about it." Snape shot him a disbelieving glare, and Lupin added, "My word as a Gryffindor," with an ironic smile.
Snape snorted.
Lupin said, too casually, "Or... I'd be willing to forget the whole thing, if you were to admit you were wrong about Neville and apologize to him."
"Apologize?" Snape spat.
"Apologize," Lupin said firmly. "In public."
Snape's eyes narrowed. So that was it! Lupin didn't really want to see him wear the damned dress, he was trying to force an apology from the nasty professor to make his precious little Gryffindor feel better.
"Longbottom is a spineless excuse for a wizard. He couldn't brew a proper potion to save his life, and if he has done anything useful it must have been completely coincidental," he said deliberately. "Furthermore, it's a miracle he didn't accidentally kill us all on the battlefield."
Lupin's mouth tightened and he moved toward the door.
Snape pulled his wand out of his robes and Lupin whirled, his wand whipping up defensively. Snape sneered and locked the door with a word, then added an Imperturbable Charm for good measure.
Lupin fell back a step, looking wary.
"I expect you to keep your word, Lupin - no mention of this, or of the other...incident, to anyone, ever again."
Lupin looked dumbfounded, but he nodded. "You'd rather wear that dress as apologize to Neville?" he asked incredulously.
"Obviously," Snape said, stripping off his robes and shirt. His smug smile vanished abruptly, however, when he picked up the dress and silky black underthings came tumbling out of its folds.
"No, Lupin!"
It was Lupin's turn to look smug. "Be glad I didn't get you something pink and frilly to wear, Severus. Or you could still apologize to Neville instead, you know," he said hopefully.
Severus snarled and snatched up the undergarments. The stockings and knickers he recognized, but what was this ridiculous thing? A corset? "Fuck you, Lupin," he muttered. Jerking it over his head, he didn't bother trying to tighten the laces.
He reached for the dress, only to suck in a startled breath as the corset suddenly drew itself snug. He turned with a glare. "I don't even want to know how you know that spell, Lupin! Now loosen it. I can't breathe; it's too tight," he snarled, vainly trying to reach the ends of the laces behind his back.
"Not at all, Severus," Lupin replied with barely concealed amusement. "I'm quite certain that's how it's supposed to fit."
Snape bared his teeth and yanked the dress over his head, then worked the buttons resolutely before snatching off his boots and socks. Reaching up under the skirt, he pulled off his trousers, and, with another venomous glare at Lupin, his underpants.
Lupin hid a smile behind his hand as Snape picked up the knickers and turned them back and forth, clearly trying to determine how they were supposed to go on. Reaching a decision, Snape stepped grimly into them and jerked them up. Then, sitting down hard on the edge of the sofa, he picked up one silky black stocking and shoved his foot at it.
It promptly twisted and clung tenaciously to his skin, and Snape cursed under his breath.
Lupin watched him trying to wrestle the flimsy, stretchy thing over his heel, and finally took pity on him. "Not like that, Severus."
Snape transferred his glare from the unfortunate stocking to his companion. Snatching the stocking back off his foot, he balled it up and threw it at Lupin. "Fine! You do it then!" he snarled.
Lupin's eyebrows rose, but he began gently gathering the stocking from the top. When he reached the toe, he stepped forward and dropped to his knees next to the sofa.
Snape looked startled. "What-"
Lupin looked up at him inquiringly. "You did say I should do it," he commented.
"I meant you should wear them, not, not that you should dress me, Lupin!" Snape sputtered.
Lupin shrugged and held the stocking ready. Snape grudgingly extended a foot, and Lupin sighed. "Not like that - point your toes."
He slipped the stocking onto Snape's foot and began working it carefully up his leg. "Have you really never watched anyone do this? A lover, the morning after?" he asked lightly.
Snape's mouth twisted. "My...bed partners of choice do not wear stockings, Lupin." Lupin glanced up, and Snape sighed. "Wrong gender."
Lupin flushed slightly. After a brief pause, he admitted, "Well, to be honest, I know from the cinema. Er, that's a Muggle form of entertainment, where-"
"I am familiar with the concept, in theory if not in practice, Lupin," Snape said dryly. He was still wondering whether Lupin had meant what he thought he meant by his admission when the other man sat back on his heels, frowning.
"This isn't working," he muttered.
Snape grabbed for his wand as Lupin's wand came up, but he was too late - Lupin's muttered spell had already stripped all the hair from Snape's legs. No, not just his legs - his arms, his chest...
"Lupin!"
Lupin was already reaching for the stocking again. "Really, Severus. There was no way we were going to get these on otherwise," he said with complete unconcern while Snape fumed. "You can always brew something to speed its regrowth later."
"Do you have any idea how much that's going to itch?" Snape grumbled.
Lupin chuckled heartlessly, sliding the stocking smoothly up Snape's now bare calf.
Snape went still as Lupin's fingers ghosted over his lower leg, eased the stocking over his knee, and didn't stop there - Lupin pulled it all the way up, his warm, slightly rough hands brushing against Snape's thigh. It had been so long since anyone had touched him, even this fleetingly, bare skin to bare skin. He felt a traitorous stirring at his groin, and he was suddenly aware of his own breath coming fast and shallow.
Lupin was already gathering the second stocking in his hands, holding it ready. Snape couldn't let Lupin see this was affecting him - he pasted on a sneer and stuck out his other foot, concentrating on keeping his breathing slow and quiet as Lupin's hands stroked over the hyper-sensitized flesh of his other leg.
He could not - could not - be getting hard over Lupin. He was not thinking of pushing Lupin onto his back and sinking into his body, with Lupin's legs wrapped around his waist, Lupin's face flushed with arousal, his damnable calm façade crumbling under an onslaught of pleasure from Snape's body...
Except that he was. Damn it.
"There," Lupin said cheerfully, rising from his knees and turning to retrieve the hat. "You should be glad I didn't get you a garter belt, you know."
Snape stood, tugging the dress into place, too relieved to find that the knickers and the skirt between them managed to conceal his arousal to reply.
Lupin held out the hat, looking up at last. He blinked, then blinked again, and murmured, "I have perhaps had too much to drink."
Snape snatched the hat out of Lupin's hand and jammed it on his head, wanting to get this whole humiliating, unsettling farce over with as soon as possible. "There. Dress. Hat. Are you satisfied, Lupin?"
Without waiting for an answer, he began undoing the top button.
"Not yet," Lupin said distantly, batting his fingers away from the button and passing him the handbag.
Snape took it resolutely, then flinched when Lupin raised his wand again. This time, though, Lupin merely transfigured the hat. Glancing up, Snape could see it was now a dark green to match the dress, with the brim curling up on one side and sweeping down on the other.
Lupin stared.
Snape shifted uncertainly, caught between embarrassment and anger and untimely arousal.
"I am quite certain Neville's gran never looked like that in that dress," Lupin finally said. "Here. You're right; you had better put your own clothes back on."
Snape's fingers tightened on the ridiculous handbag. Of course Lupin was repulsed. "As I recall, this was your idea, Lupin. It's your problem if you don't enjoy having to look at the results," he spat.
Lupin's brow went up. "Quite the opposite, actually. Look at yourself, Severus," he said quietly, stepping up behind Snape. He raised one hand as if to turn Snape's head toward the ornate mirror hanging over the mantel, but Snape moved before Lupin's fingers could contact his cheek. He could feel the heat of Lupin's fingers, scorching through the air against his skin, even though they never quite touched him as he turned to face the mirror.
Snape stared at his reflection. His eyes under the shadow of the hat were wide and dark with startlement, and his face was more relaxed than usual, with flattering color leant by the vivid dark hue of the dress and the warm glow of the fire. The corset gave the illusion of shape to his torso, and a silky length of leg was visible through the walking slit in the skirt. He looked...almost exotic. Even with the nose.
"You see, Severus? Now, if you don't want me to bend you over the back of that sofa and fuck you senseless, I suggest you change back to your own clothes." Lupin's voice was a low growl that stirred the hair over Snape's ear and tickled his neck.
"I..." Snape faltered.
Lupin's gaze on his in the mirror was predatory and intense.
"Put down that handbag."
Snape swallowed hard, and let it fall. Moments later, minus hat, dress, and knickers, he found himself pressed against the back of the sofa, sucking desperately on a pair of Lupin's fingers and trying not to thrust too hard into Lupin's mouth.
The plaintive noise he made when Lupin released his cock and stood was, fortunately for his dignity, muffled by the fingers still in his mouth. He watched as Lupin opened his trousers, rather awkwardly, with his other hand; only when Lupin tugged gently, with a quizzical smile, did Snape finally think to release his fingers.
"Turn around, Severus," Lupin said quietly.
Snape turned and bent obligingly over the back of the sofa. He tensed as Lupin's wet fingers approached his entrance; somehow, he had forgotten until now just how much the initial penetration could hurt, but there was no way he was going to back down in front of Lupin. Who was, after all, being rather gentle, and not forcing those saliva-slicked fingers in where they clearly were not quite welcomed. Only, Snape wished he would just push in and get it over with, so he didn't have so much time to dread it...
"Er, Severus, you have done this before, haven't you?" Lupin's voice was almost apologetic.
"Of course I have," Snape snapped. "It has simply been some time."
Lupin's other hand stroked up Snape's spine, up the back of his neck, across his tense shoulders. Snape leaned unconsciously into that soothing touch.
"Right. We'll need something better than saliva, then, if this is going to be pleasant for you," Lupin said.
He stepped back, and Snape suddenly realized how ridiculous he must look, splayed against the back of this dirty sofa wearing nothing but a corset and a pair of stockings. He tried to stand up, but Lupin said, "No, you stay right where you are. You're exactly where I want you." A murmured charm, and the fox-fur scarf lying forgotten on the sofa whipped around the sofa frame and Snape's wrists, stiffening and holding him in place.
Snape twisted and yanked at his bonds, but he was well and truly trapped. His wand was just out of reach - how could he have been so incredibly stupid? How could he ever have believed Lupin was any better than Black - now Lupin would open the door, exposing him to the ridicule of everyone in the house...
He craned his neck over his shoulder and realized with relief that Lupin was bending over his discarded robes, not unlocking the door. His relief was short-lived, however; he saw the dull glint of metal as Lupin pulled something from the pocket of his robes and realized it must be the Creevey brat's camera. Worse, that was worse; Lupin could show photographs to anyone...
Lupin turned. The small smile on his face vanished when he saw Snape's expression, and he crossed the room in a few hasty strides.
He was holding a bar of chocolate. Wrapped in metal foil.
"Severus? What is it? What's wrong?"
Snape stared at him. Oddly enough, his concern appeared to be genuine. Snape blamed the constriction in his chest on the damned corset, which didn't let him draw a full breath.
"I...don't enjoy being restrained," he said carefully.
Lupin's eyes widened and his breath hissed through his teeth. "Of course. I'm sorry, I wasn't... I wasn't thinking," he apologized as he released Snape's hands.
Snape immediately straightened and turned to face Lupin.
"Do you want to continue, Severus?" Lupin asked.
Snape's reflex was to say "No," but Lupin was looking down at his wrists with a concerned frown, gently caressing the angry red lines where the scarf had chafed his skin when he struggled to free himself. It felt...good.
So somehow, instead of "No," Snape found himself saying, "Not if melted chocolate is your idea of a superior lubricant, Lupin."
With a grin that removed ten years from his face, Lupin unwrapped the chocolate and flourished his wand once more.
Snape eyed the resulting square of creamy white substance warily.
Lupin ran his fingers through it, then extended them for Snape to sniff. Cocoa butter.
"Adequate," Snape pronounced.
"Adequate? High praise, from you," Lupin teased gently.
Snape glared at him, but was distracted by the way Lupin's fingers were circling each other. He couldn't help but imagine what those slick fingers would feel like circling his cock instead, or slipping into him, and his flagging erection revived.
"Is that a yes then, Severus?" Lupin inquired.
At Snape's choppy nod, Lupin smiled. "Good."
Snape's head dropped back as those slick fingers wrapped around his cock, proving that they did indeed feel as good as he had imagined they would.
This time, Lupin was slow and maddeningly thorough, and Snape came undone under his careful hands long before Lupin bent him back over the sofa and slid into him. He was lightheaded and gasping, shuddering with pleasure after only a few strokes. Lupin slid a hand up his back and through his hair, pulling his head up and planting a line of hard kisses on his neck, and it was so good - how could he have gone for so long without this? But it was not enough yet; not quite enough to grant Snape the release that stayed elusively just out of his reach, and he gasped, "Oh, fuck. Harder, Lupin. Harder-"
Lupin misunderstood, and the light nip on Snape's neck turned to a bite that made Snape cry out, but the sudden sting of pain pushed him over the edge to clench around Lupin's cock and spill over Lupin's fingers and across the upholstery.
Snape's second cry was lost in Lupin's mouth as the fingers tangled in his hair wrenched his head around enough for Lupin's lips to cover his, then Lupin shifted his hold to Snape's hips and claimed his body with a series of hard, demanding thrusts that ended with a throaty gasp of release from Lupin.
He pulled out, carefully, and Snape tried to take a step back, but his legs were shaky and his hips felt as though they had been pushed out of their joints, and he collapsed awkwardly to the floor, taking Lupin with him.
Lupin made a surprised noise, but curled one arm around Snape's shoulders and gently brushed the hair off his face. He let go when Snape tensed and sat up, and he loosened the corset laces when Snape shifted uncomfortably.
They avoided each other's eyes until Lupin said, "Well. That was...unexpected. But not unwelcome?" His tone made it a question.
Snape hesitated, then shook his head. "No. Not unwelcome." He pulled off the corset and stockings and shrugged on his own clothes swiftly, and looked up to find Lupin watching him. "What, Lupin?"
"Do you think you might ever call me Remus?" Lupin asked, rather wistfully.
Snape stared unblinkingly until Lupin’s expression returned to its usual studied neutrality, then he bent and pulled on his boots.
"I suppose that I might..."
Snape made certain his robes were in place and his hair smoothed down.
"...Remus."
He was rewarded by Lupin's slow, warm smile. "Thank you, Severus."
They regarded each other uncertainly until Lupin glanced at the door.
"Er, I suppose I should..."
"Yes."
"Good evening, then, Severus," Lupin said as he left.
Snape picked up the discarded dress, intending to dispose of it - he wouldn't want anyone finding it in here. After a moment's thought, though, he reduced it and tucked it in his pocket, followed by the corset, the hat, the knickers, and the stockings.
After all, he might be needing them again.