Work Text:
"Helena!"
"Oh Jesus Christ on a cross, calm down."
"We are late."
"You are the one who needs her coffee."
"Frivolous conversations with people you see every single day? Totally unnecessary. Let's go, get in, buckle up!"
Helena is going, she's getting in, she's looking for some place to set the just-purchased drinks she's currently double fisting.
"Your ancient car and its lack of cup holding apparatuses! Who ever heard of such a thing?!"
"Oh my God, Hel. Let me..."
Myka reaches across the other woman for her seat belt, throws in a wink when her arm brushes against the other woman's breast, and carefully fixes the thing across her chest and over her waist, until it clicks home.
"There, safe and sound. Hold tight."
Myka all but peels out of the donut shop parking lot.
Helena doesn't really understand Myka's thing for older cars, like cars that were made before people realized that cars would be excellent places to consume beverages and, you know, survive traffic collisions. Cars wherein things such as cup holders and air bags were non-existent. But credit where credit is due, Helena will say, because the seats are comfortable as fuck.
Myka makes a sharp right.
So does Helena and two just-purchased beverages.
"Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!"
"I warned you."
"You said hold tight." Helena narrows her eyes at Myka and holds up both cups. "I haven't got anything to hold onto but a coffee and a..."
"Give me that before you spill it everywhere." Myka takes one cup from Helena's hand.
"Myka, that's..." She takes a sip.
"Oh, God! Oh, awful, awful. Take it back, take it." She's already shoving the cup back in Helena's hand.
Somewhere, in a nearby crosswalk, a man sees his life flash before his eyes.
“As I was saying, that one is mine." Helena smiles wryly, taking back her drink and handing Myka her coffee.
"So gross. Hel, if all you wanted was a green grass purée, I could have just blended up a couple handfuls of the crab grass that's taking over our front yard." Myka quickly sips down hot coffee to free herself of the putrid taste in her mouth. "Ah yes, burn the disgust. Burn it all away."
She turns to Helena with a grin on her face, and Helena is staring at her incredulously with nary a thing to say before rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her own concoction.
"Says the woman who drinks her coffee hot."
"This is America, Helena!"
Helena almost chokes on laughter and wheat grass.
//
Claudia is scribbling out music notes on a blank sheet of paper while simultaneously listening to the untitled song play out in her mind. She has that gift but she doesn't call it a gift, she calls it a goddamn blessing because on days like today, and in places like this, anything to pull you away from the present and the now and the nonsensical bullshit going on in front of you, is worth its weight in gold.
Weight in gold. Waiting.. gold. Wait and... wait, weight and bold. Weighted. Don't be bold. God, who the fuck am I right now?
Claudia loses the lyric and scratches those words from her paper before she continues scrawling out silent notes.
The sound of clapping brings her back to the aforementioned bullshit in front of her. She looks up as an already graying middle-aged white man moves past her desk, bumping it with his leg, and sending her collection of pens and pencils rolling to the floor.
"Excuse you." She mumbles reaching down to retrieve the lost items.
"Well, thank you very much to Charlie's father for introducing us to the wonderful world of forensic science." Claudia senses the sarcasm in her teacher's voice as she sits straight again. "The wonderfully graphic world of forensic science."
Mrs. Nielsen smiles a tight-lipped smile and claps her hands together as if the action itself will actually sever the whispered discussion of the dead and potentially undead that is currently floating throughout the classroom.
It doesn't.
Claudia looks to the back of the room where several more parents stand quietly, patiently, and apparently more anxious about ending this class period, and this school day, than the students themselves.
"Up next is Todd's father, here to talk to us about his work as a firefighter."
Claudia smiles when her eye catches Todd's dad's eye as he makes his way to the front of the class.
"Hey kid." He gently sets a fist to her shoulder as he passes by.
"Finally, something worth looking at." It's not quite as hushed as Claudia had intended, and the classroom, and especially the girls, erupts into laughter.
Except Todd. Todd, who is sitting directly in front of her, is not laughing at all. And he turns around with his eyes squinted and his mouth wide open and a look that says “I’m going to say a whole lot of retaliatory things to you right now” before he finally says almost nothing at all:
"Dude, that's my dad."
"I know, Todd. That's why I'm convinced you must take after your mother." Claudia smirks.
More laughter fills the classroom.
"All right, all right, let's settle down." Mrs. Nielsen gestures to Todd's dad to take the floor and Claudia smiles at the slight blush that creeps into her teacher's cheeks.
"Don't make me send you to the principle's office, Mrs. N.”
The classroom of teenagers lets out a collective "oooh" with a couple of "you're in trouble now"s and a "Principle Nielsen ain't gonna like that" followed by a "nah, he might actually like that."
"Claudia!" It's not the first time she's disrupted the classroom with such success but Mrs. Nielsen seems to be tolerating it a bit more today, given the lack of any actual learning, so she's taking advantage.
Claudia wags her eyebrows at her teacher.
Now that the tomfoolery that is Parent Career Day is almost over, her spirits are slowly lifting. Todd's dad is the last of the parents before their hopefully early release and Claudia has faith that the intricacies of firefighting can be explained in far less than the twenty-five minutes that they have left of class.
Mrs. Nielsen sits at her desk and buries herself behind a stack of notebooks to be graded.
"Please, go ahead. And don't mind the peanut gallery." Mrs. Nielsen eyes Claudia momentarily before burying her still-flushed face into one of the notebooks she pulls from the stack.
"She's right, don't mind me." Claudia beams with a wave of her arm, then under her breath she adds, “I'm just a pathetic orphan whose non-existent parents have earned her zero participation points."
Claudia participates in other ways, she thinks.
She's not resentful toward her parents for leaving her behind. Not at all.
And she tells herself that everyday. She'll keep telling herself that until, one day, it's true.
She's not even sure why she has to be present today to begin with. One would think that a major prerequisite for participating in Parent Career Day would be the actual having of parents.
And Claudia's had died a long time ago.
//
“Darling, you parked on the curb."
"It's fine, I'm a detective. I can park wherever I want."
"In your work vehicle."
"It's fine, my car is plated. Less talky, more walky, Helena."
Helena rolls her eyes and steps up her pace to catch up to Myka.
"Your legs are so much longer than mine, slow down."
"Walk faster.” Myka winks at Helena over her shoulder.
"I think I need to work out more."
Now it is Myka's turn to give Helena that look of incredulity.
"What?"
"Stop."
"Stop what?!"
"You know wh-" Whatever hallway she has just turned into, it dead ends at a large set of double doors. "Where the hell is Vanessa's classroom?" She looks back to Helena.
"Well, it's not this way." Helena puffs out a small laugh, arching a brow. "It's that way." She points over her shoulder.
"Oh my God, you couldn't say something before we made it to the auditorium?" Myka heads back down the hallway they just emerged from.
"I thought you wanted the auditorium! Is that not where we’re meant to be?"
"No, she's in her classroom." Myka glances at her watch. “Hel, you're the one who does the PTA thingy,” Myka waves her hands together in a really asinine way, like she’s holding up two hand puppets that are talking each others ears off, and Helena stifles laughter, "can you lead the way, please?”
Helena points to the air where Myka’s previous hand gestures had been, “Was that supposed to be me doing the 'PTA thingy'?” Helena air quotes.
“Helena.” Myka throws her head back with a sigh, then straightens again. “Sweetheart, babe, love of my life,” then she holds her hand out toward the direction they should be traveling in, “please lead the way."
"Didn't you graduate from this high school?"
“You shut your pretty little face."
In less than sixty seconds, Helena is peaking through a door into a familiar classroom. She steps in slowly, reaching back for Myka just behind her, hooks a finger into the pocket of her vest, and pulls the other woman, quietly, into the room.
//
Claudia leads the applause for Todd's dad, even gives him what could very easily be mistaken as a standing ovation, because she is both clapping and standing, but is really just Claudia with her bag on her shoulder and her books in her hand and a readiness to fly out of the door. And the other students are quick to follow.
"Not so fast, ladies and gentlemen." Mrs. Nielsen stands quickly, thanking Todd's father, and making her way to the center of the room. "We still have the parents of one last student-"
"Mrs. N, that was literally everybody's parents. It was a great show, but now it's time to go. It's been fun, but I am super done.” She’s sing-songing. It’s just a thing she does.
And with her things gathered and her speech concluded, Claudia turns toward the door and into two familiar smiling faces, towering over her like the Sappho inspired statuesses that they are.
“Myka.” Claudia says looking up the length of the taller woman and then to the woman by her side. “Helena? What are you..."
"Class, please welcome Claudia's parents, Detective Bering and Doctor Wells."
“Parents." Claudia says. "Right." She drops her bag to the floor and falls back into her seat as the two older women walk past her, both running their fingers through short red hair, both pinching either cheek, currently flushed and sandwiching parted lips, and Helena uses a solitary finger under her chin to close the gaping hole that is Claudia's disbelieving, open-mouthed expression.
Myka and Helena stand at the front of the class, full of smiles, and waste no time introducing themselves, restating their titles, and talking about what they do. And when Myka makes what Claudia thinks is the biggest mistake of her life by opening the floor to questions, several hands fly into the air.
Claudia sinks into her chair.
Someone says, “Claudia, I didn’t know you had two hot moms.”
“I don’t have two hot moms.” Claudia says matter-of-factually.
Someone asks, "Are you guys lesbians?"
"Jesus Christ on a cross." Claudia closes her eyes.
"We are married." Helena answers with a smile on her face. "You can come to your own conclusions about the details."
"God, don’t say the word details to a classroom full of teenagers.” Claudia throws a hand over her face.
"Speaking of details," Todd begins, turning a devilish brow-wagging look back on Claudia. She lifts her hand just enough to make eye contact with him.
"I will strangle you on the elementary school playground, cover you head to toe with Nutella and Goldfish crackers, and let those little monsters eat you alive." Claudia threatens through gritted teeth.
Todd abandons his thoughts on details.
Another question, "Are you guys actually married or are you just civil married?"
"We are actually married." Myka smirks. Helena smiles, locking an arm with Myka’s and leaning into her.
"Hey guys, how about some career related questions. I mean, imagine that. Career related questions on Parent Career Day?" Claudia rallies. "I didn't ask any of your parents what positions you were conceived in.”
There’s quite a collection of groans in response to that last statement. Claudia is certain that some parents have walked out already. She’s also certain that Helena will get an earful at the next PTA meeting.
It's the only thing she thinks she'll apologize for today.
"Which one of you gave birth to Claudia?"
"Oh my God.” Claudia pulls her bag from the floor and pulls it over her face.
"Oh God." Helena recoils. "How old do you think we are?” Myka rolls her eyes.
"She means no offense." Myka says to the row of middle-aged parents in the back. The row of middle-aged parents who are actually old enough to have raised teenagers.
"They are my foster parents, okay?!" Claudia is finally on her feet. “Just fostering. That means temporary. That means one day they'll get sick of me and move on, just like everybody else. And goddess give me that day, because a new school in a new town is starting to sound so good right now. And thank you, ladies," Claudia nods to Myka and Helena, "for making a nice little mockery of my life. Thank you, Parent Career Day, for reminding me of who I am, exactly." Claudia is back pedaling toward the door now. "I will see you at the house. Or I won’t. Or whatever."
Claudia is halfway out the door when she hears, “They could foster me everyday of the week."
"Fuck you, Todd!" And the door nearly slams closed on the middle finger that trails behind her.
//
Myka runs after Claudia and actually runs after Claudia, because the girl is quick and spry and when she’s mad or upset or determined, she allows very little to stop her.
This includes a very confused and begrudged Principle Nielsen who Myka apologizes to on Claudia's behalf before she leaves him to his grumbling in the hallway.
Helena attempts some minor form of damage control with Vanessa and the students and the parents, but Vanessa releases her students and their parents, and tells Helena not to worry about them.
It would be a nice lesson in privilege someday.
Helena gets a text from Myka that simply says “ifo school lsh s/b" and Helena is thankful she has grown used to Myka’s police-talk. She finds her trailing several feet behind Claudia down the sidewalk. In front of the school, headed southbound.
"Claudia." Myka calls. “Stop, Claudia!”
When Helena catches up to them, she holds a hand in front of Myka to stop her walking and she stills beside her. “Claudia, Darling.” The young girl's pace immediately slows. “We need to talk with you.”
Myka doesn’t know how Helena does it, but her ability to talk down almost any and every child that she encounters has probably saved their marriage on more than one occasion.
And yes, Myka concedes that she sometimes acts like a child.
"I don't know why you guys had to do that. How did you even know about career day?" Claudia stops and turns to the two women and Myka takes a crumpled up piece of paper out of her pocket, holds it up for Claudia to see.
"You know we check your school bag, right?” Myka asks.
“Of course you check my bag.” Claudia is shaking her head. "Invasion of privacy much?"
"Claudia, you are a teenager. Living in our home. You don't get privacy." Myka retorts.
Claudia glares and opens her mouth wide but doesn't say anything.
"What Myka means to say, Claud,” Helena steps forward, "is that we care very much about what is going on in your life. Vanessa tipped me off to the Parent Career Day flyer because I mentioned not having seen it yet.” Helena takes another step forward. “I can understand your hesitation to share it with us, but you should know that we want to be present for all of your school events. Even if it is Parent Career Day. Even if you don't see us as your parents."
"You guys don't have to meddle, you know that right? You don't have to be there all the time, you don't have to come to my school and check up on me or be involved with the other parents, who are twice your age, and the school board and chaperoning and the activities." Claudia steps toward them. “All you have to do is feed me, and clothe me, and put a roof over my head, and you only have to do that until you get tired of feeding me and clothing me and putting a roof over my head. Then I'll just be on my merry little way.” Claudia takes the paper from Myka’s hand and shoves it back into her school bag. "You don’t have to do this."
“Oh Claud, do you honestly believe that?" Myka moves to Claudia now and the young girl takes several steps back. "Do you really think we are just going to tire of you and throw you back into the system? After a year and a half, do you really think we aren’t going to fight for you?"
"It doesn't matter what I believe." Claudia says shaking her head. “That's how it works. That is how the system works."
"Claudia." Helena steps closer to her now, too. "Myka and I," she pauses to think and steps even closer still, "the both of us, we really..." she shakes her head and sighs. "You're a good kid, Claudia. You are brilliant and you are beautiful and you are so engaging and hilarious. You have always fit so perfectly into our lives and there has never been any question about your place in our lives. You belong with us. We wouldn't dream of just,” she pauses, “just letting you go."
Myka moves to Helena’s side. They stand several feet in front of Claudia, whose glare, full of anger and frustration and sadness, is steady and determined on the surface but breaking just beneath it.
"And what Helena is trying to say, Claudia," Myka smiles and wraps her arm around Helena’s waist, "is that we love you.”
The school bell rings.
Crowds of teenagers emerge from every exit available and swarm out, into, and across the front lawn of the school. They're jumping into waiting cars, claiming bicycles, throwing down skateboards, escaping on foot across streets, and through yards, and around corners. Down sidewalks.
They move around Myka and Helena, still leaning into one another, they move past Claudia, still searching for anything to say, still staring impossibly at the two women before her.
The two women who took her in after a particularly bad family had pushed her out. These two women who opened their home to her in the middle of the night, who, the very next day, broke down an entire nursery and gifted every tiny baby thing in it to expecting family friends, in order to accommodate for all fourteen years of Claudia Donovan.
These two women who then went out and bought Claudia all of the things she needed to make her feel safe. To make her feel comfortable. Make her feel at home.
By the time Claudia finds the words to say, the high school campus has nearly emptied and they are alone again.
“Every minute of every day spent in a foster home,” Claudia begins, “is another brick and another stone and another layer of mortar added to the wall that I, that any kid in my position, has to, is forced to build between me and,” she pauses, rethinks her words, “between that kid and their foster family.” Her eyes fill with moisture and when Myka moves to step closer, Helena squeezes her arm to stop her. Claudia continues, shaking her head, “The more time you spend in a foster home, the higher and thicker and stronger that wall gets. That wall is necessary. It has to be there, you understand? Because it will eventually be a new home, a different family, with other rules, in some unknown town, and when it eventually turns into that, when you’re eventually moved off to that other place with those other people, the wall that you have built between yourself and your previous life? That’s the only fucking thing helping you keep your shit together.”
“Claudia.” Myka takes in a deep breath and steps forward. This time Helena doesn’t stop her, she steps forward, too, but they stop short of reaching out to her.
"You build a wall to keep out the bad," Claudia smiles and looks Helena directly in the eyes, "and you build a wall to keep out the good. Because you're either being hurt or you're going to be hurt. And you don't have your mom and your dad to protect you. The state isn't going to protect you. The system isn't going to protect you. You're goddamn social worker can't even protect you all the time. The only thing that's going to protect you is that wall and the distance it puts between me and you."
Claudia inhales deeply. Myka doesn't try to move forward this time.
“And you two.” Claudia laughs. “It wasn’t just a brick for every minute of the day. It was more like five bricks for every second of the day because you two are not like any other family I have ever been with and I can’t,” Claudia breaks out into a full sob now, dropping her books and her bag to the ground, and neither Myka nor Helena hold back any longer. They each wrap an arm around her and pull her in close.
They stay like this, holding Claudia, absorbing her cries, running soothing hands over her back to ease the sobbing, taking on the bulk of her weight as she falls further into them, relaxes in their hold.
And all at once, she’s returning to herself and she’s pushing herself back and wiping at the moisture on her too-red face and concealing her emotions behind the glare she now gives to Myka and Helena.
“Do you really love me?” She asks, still wiping at tears.
“Of course we do.” Helena says softly. She turns to Myka who is nodding.
“We really do, Claudia.”
Claudia sighs, her face immediately softens, the glare melting away as shakes her head and smiles. “God, I hate you guys.” She laughs, wiping at tears.
“Claudia, we didn't mean for things to go the way they did back there, we just didn't want you to miss out on that experience.” Myka smiles.
"The experience of embarrassment?" Claudia laughs through more tears. "No, you guys are doing an excellent job with that one."
"We had this grand idea of telling you all of this when we were done introducing ourselves but," Helena wipes at her own tears, laughing at herself.
"We aren't the best at grand ideas." Myka concludes. "We barely made it here on time, and then we got lost in the hallways.”
Claudia arches a brow, “I thought you graduated from this school?"
Helena smirks, elbowing Myka in the ribs.
“Yeah, so anyway!” Myka’s digging into her pockets again. “We have something for you.”
“Oh, I think I have it.” Helena says, searching her own pockets. “Ah, yes.” She pulls out a neatly folded piece of paper and holds it out to Claudia but pulls it back just Claudia begins to reach for it. “And just so you know,” Helena says with a serious expression returning to her, “this is all about you and what you want. So, it is your decision to make.” Helena holds the paper back out to Claudia and she takes it cautiously.
“My decision?” She questions.
"Open it." Myka nods.
Claudia does.
Helena leans into Myka, who wraps a protective arm over her shoulder and pulls her in close, kissing her forehead. They watch Claudia's face as she slowly unfolds the paper to reveal a letter, she eyes both Myka and Helena, then straightens out the creases in her hands.
“Claudia." Myka says impatiently.
"Okay, I'm reading. Hold your pretty little Rainbow Brite unicorn horses." Claudia retorts. Myka and Helena exchange amused glances. "Just give me a… minute to...?" Claudia turns the paper over and then back. “Your petition to adopt has been approved.” Claudia reads out loud just before her eyes find Myka’s. “Are you guys finally adopting a baby because that’s really… that’s really… I mean, I'm happy for you..."
When Claudia looks up again to see Helena's eyes shut tight and barely holding back tears, like she’s preparing to actually be punched in the face, and that wide eyed look of bewilderment that Myka gets whenever both Claudia and Helena start talking shop about mechanics and miscellaneous gadgetry, it finally hits her.
"You petitioned to adopt me."
Myka nods. Helena peaks at her through one now-open eye.
"Why would you do that?"
Now Helena is standing straight and the both of them start talking at once.
Myka says, "What did we just say?"
Helena says, "What have we been talking about all along?"
"Oh." Claudia steps back, then looks down at the letter, and then back up at the two women before her.
“Like I said, it’s your decision, Claudia. In the end." Helena says. "And you can take all the time you need to think about it, if you need to think about-"
"I don't need to think about it." Claudia says, narrowing her eyes at the two women. And she thinks the tone in her voice probably sounds harsh and uncaring and defensive, because they both start to turn into each other and hold one another tighter and avert their reddening eyes. But Claudia is smiling through tears, shaking her head, and she says, “I just can’t with you two.”
Helena buries her face in Myka’s shoulder and Myka tightens her grip around the other woman and nods at Claudia, “We understand, Claudia. It’s okay, we just thought-“
“No, I don’t mean.” Claudia smiles. “I don’t mean that I can’t. I mean, I don’t know how I am going to deal with you guys because you are so freaking adorable. And I,” Claudia sighs and when Helena looks back at her with red eyes and a face full of tears and the most disbelieving look she has ever seen in that woman’s face, she smiles and nods, “I kinda sorta really loveyouguystoo.”
And she says the last part so fast that it is barely audible.
“Myka.” Helena breathes in.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Myka asks, holding a hand to her ear. “I couldn’t quite make that out.”
“I said, I actually really kinda sorta,” Claudia laughs and shakes her head. “Will you just hug me before Helena has a conniption."
“Oh Claudia.” Helena’s arms are wrapped fully around the young girl before she can even finish her sentence, and Myka smiles and wraps her arms fully around both Helena and Claudia. “We love you so much, Claud.” Helena presses her lips against Claudia’s cheek several times before strengthening her hold.
"I love you guys, too.” Claudia’s voice is muffled as she links her arms around both Myka’s and Helena’s waists. "But you're kind of smothering the shit out of me."
Myka laughs adjusting her arm so that it's not quite smothering Claudia, and whispers to her through tears, “Watch your language, young lady.” Then plants a kiss on her forehead.
Claudia cries and laughs and tightens her hold on both Myka and Helena, whose tears are both torrential and relentless when they hear the young girl finally whisper, “Sorry, Moms."