Work Text:
It was a strange occurence that Dib had visitors on work days, so when the door bell went off and kept going for longer than it was strictly considered moral, he knew instantly who was behind that door.
What he didn't expect however, is for that morally inept person to bust trough his goddamn door for the eight time this month when he didn't answer it At. Two. In. The. Morning.
"The fuck is wrong with you." That wasn't a question, it was a statement. He learned from day one of dating the alien that EVERYTHING was wrong with him, starting from basic fucking manners all the way to "killing people is ok as long as it looks like an accident (for cover purposes only) and they're anyone but Dib".
So when those gorgeous, red, glistening orbs locked on Dib's completely opposite, boring and stereotypical brown eyes and he didn't see any regret or a clue that the Irken was going to apologize, he sighed, turned and walked into the kitchen to get some godly nectar more commonly known as coffee. He has a feeling that he needs to stay awake for whatever this is supposed to turn into.
His sleep deprived brain apparently forgot to factor in the possibility of the alien following him, because he now had the short green annoyance climbing the kitchen counter with pure muscle strength and zero sweat. Before long Zim was sitting down in front of the coffee machine, legs hanging off the edge and alien lips inches away from Dib's dry and chopped disaster kissers.
He couldn't say that he wasn't a fan of this predicament and he would totally lean in and take the offered kiss if it wasn't Two. In. The. Fucking. Morning. So instead, he pushed Zim's face and the whole of Zim away from the holy nectar making machine, trying to not get all salty about the fact that Zim didn't so much as budge from the first strong push but instead, once he got the memo, let himself be pushed aside. How sweet of him, it made Dib want to punch him in the face but he'd like to keep his fist in one piece, thank you very much.
Zim kept being uncharacteristically silent and obediently stayed out of Dib's morning sensitive personal space while he drank his coffee. The alien only broke the silence with an occasional squeaky,muffled noise Dib could best describe as the sound baby crocodiles make when calling for their mother. He only heard that noise coming from Zim a couple of times and almost all of them were when Zim was unconcious or just generally blissfully unaware of the world around him.
It's only natural that Dib stopped slurping the coffee like an animal (just because it made Zim's sensitive antennae ring and annoyed him like hell) to listen to those noises with scientific curiosity. He must be in one of those "moods" he never talks about and insists never happened whenever Dib brings them up in the future, or else he wouldn't let Dib hear those noises and let him live afterwards.
"What do you want Zim?" He finally asks when he decided he had enough coffee to keep his brain working somewhat. "I have work in the morning"
When Zim leaned in and trailed hesitant kisses over Dib's shoulder and up his neck instead of answering, Dib knew for a fact that Zim was definitely in one of his PAK moods. He subconsciously nicknamed this Zim as 'PAK Zim' because most of the actions the alien acted upon in these situations were influenced by the control brains or went against their control trough his creepy backpack like device. This is definitely not how he wanted to start his day.
The thing is, PAK Zim is highly unpredictable and doing anything that doesn't suit his fancy at that moment could trigger him and cause him to lash out. Despite Zim's size, he is still an alien and is a trained soldier, bred specifically for the purpose of being an organic super weapon. Any attempt at fighting back with only Dib's soft and squishy body is laughable compared to the alien's raw strength and natural dagger like claws. That fact shouldn't make Dib aroused, but to be fair- he shouldn't find a murdery Irken that wants to destroy Earth attractive either.
He could feel Zim fighting his instinct to pierce Dib's skin like a vampire and let his life force gush out of him right then and there. He could also feel the way Zim was shakingly gripping Dib's pajama top for leverage, way too close to looking scared. If Zim could feel fear, that is. The resemblance made Dib's breathing funny for a minute,struggling against the impulse to hug the alien until the shaking fit passes. He knows better than to do that though, he has a large scar across his abdomen as a reminder. He instead kept completely still, not moving a muscle in favor of making this easier for Zim.
The poor bastard was shaking badly and his antennae twitched in what looked like to be pain after every kiss with his thin, silky lips he left on Dib's skin. It took much longer than usual for the badly shaking part to pass, but the second Zim's antennae started to twitch less and Zim's grip became more gentle on his probably ripped pajama top, Dib put a soft and careful hand over Zim's that was still gripping the fabric like a lifeline. The alien flinched and stopped his kisses, but didn't bite or murder Dib with his claws, so he'd consider this a win.
"Hey, It's ok..." Dib whispered to spare Zim's fried nerves in his feelers from any loud noise. "You're ok"
The reassurances made Zim's shoulders slump a bit,but his muscles still stayed tense and ready to pounce at any given moment. Dib was extra careful when cupping the alien's cheeks in the palms of his hand. He kept his hands steady for a few minutes to let Zim get used to his touch before gently moving his thumb in circles against that beautiful green, silky alien skin. Just like that, after what felt like an hour but was realistically about 10 minutes, Zim's mood passed and his eyes got ten times brighter. Dib instantly leaned in and planted comforting butterfly kisses all over the alien's face as a reward for being so strong.
"Welcome back asshole" Dib teased fondly, and when Zim slapped his clawed hand (theoretically gently,but it still hurt) over the human's face and pushed him away with a sassy scoff and said, "Zim has no buiseness with those disgusting hyuman filth holes" that shakiness in his voice already almost gone, Dib couldn't help but smile proudly at his strong boyfriend.
"Well whatever, your ass is still going to repair my busted door which, by the way, is your fault" Dib reminded while rubbing his right eye tiredly. "M'going to bed."
Zim turned his head towards the door, but honestly, with those orbs that are his eyes, he could be looking at Dib for all he knows.
"...Zim is sorry" The smallness of his voice made Dib's chest hurt. He placed a gentle kiss on the alien's cheek. "Don't worry about it, it was kind of cool to see it get busted like the door's made out of cardboard anyway" That didn't seem to make Zim look any less guilty, which made Dib think he wasn't apologizing for the door.
The alien's tiny nostrils expanded to the point of being slightly visible in what's probably supposed to be the equivalent of a resigned sigh. "Zim will fix your pathetic human defense wall for you. Go reboot your weakling brain meats or whatever" He waved his gloved hand dismissively towards Dib. The claws, even while gloved, were intimidating to look at so close to his face.
"Uh, you know I didn't mean for you to fix the door right now, right? You can join me in bed" he left out the please, I'm worried sick part.
Zim's antennae flattened back, still facing away. "..."
Dib waited for a response but Zim stayed quiet, so when he placed a hand on Zim's shoulder and Zim didn't flinch, he slid his other arm under Zim's legs and lifted him up bridal style. The alien passively leaned his head against Dib's chest and let himself be carried to Dib's bedroom, much to the human's pleasure. It was probably Zim's way of saying sorry, which was cute and subtle just like everything Zim does. (Other than the murder part)
Now with the pacified Invader safely tucked under the covers of his bed, his face nuzzled into Dib's side and his breathing getting shallow, the human felt at ease.
The next day when Dib woke up, found the alien deeply asleep for once and realized that he was late for work, he simply turned off his alarm and went back to sleep.