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Jaime quietly enters the chambers stepping over blood soaked rags and overturned basin of water. He stands at the foot of the bed and watches her as she watches the baby. Their baby. His eyes burn with joy. A feeling he had before, but this was different, it felt real and complete. He wants to come closer and gently play with the whispers of blond hair before leaving kisses on both of their cheeks.
The stillness of the moment is interrupted by a new set of lungs allowing the world to know something was causing them to be very unhappy.
“Oh my. Hey there.” Brienne says softly as she raises slowly in the bed grimacing slightly. Her eyes firmly locked onto her child’s own.
“I’ll call for the wet nurse.” Jaime offers turning to depart away from them.
“Why? We got this. Right?” He returns his attention to bed once more to Brienne leaning against the headboard of the bed shirt pulled up and their child drinking away at her breast, a natural at it. Jaime can’t help from staring, memorized. He did not make it a habit to watch a child breastfeed but he had seen it time from time. All his children in the arms of various wet nurses. There had been a lack of connection and love; it was food and nothing else. Looking at the sight before him he never knew how beautiful and pure it could be. He finds himself growing angry towards his sister for her refusal to try, hurt the three babes before this one were denied this intimate connection.
Cersei had tried once to feed Joffrey at her breast, but when she couldn’t get him to latch on his screams of frustration and confusion made her feel like a failure and she insisted only the wet nurses would sustain her son. A few days after Myrcella birth Cersei had the courage to gently place the hungry child to her awaiting nipple. At first it was working and a feeling of connection Cersei always felt as if she was missing from her son was being fulfilled by her daughter; until Myrcella drew back slightly and managed to clamp down. Though it was still small toothless gums it still hurt. Physically and emotionally. That was the only time Cersei cradled her in such a private way. When it came to Tommen she never once attempted.
All this Jaime knew and he never pushed it further or thought much of it. Cersei loved those children the best she was willing. To the point it suited her and made her comfortable.
“Hey I know you’re hungry. Yes you are. Papa’s over there. Yes he is.’ Papa. That crumbled the wall and he begins to sob. Brienne looks up eyes wide. ‘Jaime wha…” She stops herself. She knew exactly what it is and nothing was wrong.
“Thank you.” He gets out having breached the distance and at last tickling those tiny hairs as the little ones greedily continued to drink.
“Every moment. Every pain. Everything. It led to this right here. I should be thanking you.” Brienne leans up and gently kisses his mouth.
“Oh finally done?” Jaime asks jokingly as their child at last pulls away, eyes heavy fighting sleep.
“Can you?” Without further instruction he nods and carefully brings the baby into his arms. A first between the two of them. He spends what feels as if a century just studying the tiny features. What was from him, what was from Brienne. What breaks him away is the softest of snores. He looks back at the bed and smiles.
“Looks like mommy is pretty tired too. She’s had a rough day. But she’ll never complain about it. No, no she won’t. Because your mommy is the strongest and bravest person I have ever met. Now what do you say you try sleeping too?” Jaime lowers himself into a chair on the other side of the room unwilling to deposit the baby into the bassinet. Much like Brienne he had this.