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Jisung wasn’t sure whose party they were at. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been there and he certainly had no idea how he’d ended up squeezed between Hyunjin and Chan, part of a large circle of party goers playing a game of spin the bottle.
Aside from his two friends, he didn’t know anyone in the circle and the pleasant buzz he’d had when he sat down had started to wear off, leaving him a little bored.
He was sitting crossed legged on the ground, one knee knocking Hyunjin’s, and his chin was cupped in his hand as he lazily watched the green bottle spin around and around. It had yet to land on him and this time was no different, slowing to a stop with the mouth pointed at a pretty boy on the far side of the circle.
The boy who’d spun it, a cute, freckle-faced blonde, crooned when he saw who it was facing. He rubbed his hands delightedly, “Minho! Truth or dare?”
The pretty boy pursed his lips, looking as bored as Jisung felt, and shrugged lightly, “Dare.”
“Alright,” the blonde furrowed his eyebrows in thought, then clapped when he came up with an idea. “Make out with the best looking person in the circle!”
“Anyone have a mirror?” Pretty boy smirked, “It’s a bit difficult to make out with myself.”
That got a cackle from most of the group, but his blonde friend whined, “Minho! Do it right.”
“Fine,” Minho sighed and leaned back on his hands, eyes lazily making their way around the circle. He studied everyone slowly, deliberately, a little bit dismissively, but when his gaze got to Jisung and his friends it held steady.
Jisung glanced at Hyunjin on his right, beautiful and ethereal even after hours of drinking, and then snuck a peek at Chan on his left, his strong profile shadowed handsomely in the dim room. He wondered which one of his friends Minho was eyeing.
Minho climbed to his feet and Jisung watched him approach, mesmerized. He moved sensuously, with the obvious grace of a dancer, his every step a work of art. At Jisung’s side Hyunjin straightened in anticipation and Jisung forced his gaze away, not really wanting to watch the beautiful stranger make out with his best friend.
But then Jisung’s chin was being knocked out of the hand he had propped on his knee and the pretty boy was in his lap, arms draping themselves over Jisung’s shoulders as he grinned at him.
Jisung blinked, then flushed, “Um, I think you have the wrong lap.”
“This is your lap, correct?” Minho quirked an eyebrow and Jisung nodded feverishly, his cheeks red. “It’s the right lap then.”
“Hyunjin’s right there though.”
“Hyunjin is right there,” Minho agreed with him, his eyes never leaving Jisung’s. “But my dare wasn’t to make out with Hyunjin. It was to make out with the best looking person in the circle. And since Felix says I can’t kiss myself,” Minho bopped Jisung on the nose, his smile a little softer, “I have to kiss you.”
“But Hyunjin…”
Minho pouted, his eyes dancing teasingly, “I’m starting to get jealous. All this talk about Hyunjin when you should be kissing me.”
Jisung just stared at him and Minho laughed, breathlessly muttering something that sounded a lot like god, you’re adorable . Minho’s hands fell to where Jisung’s were hanging limp at his side and he lifted them, guiding them to grip his hips. Once he was satisfied with that he wiggled slightly closer, then placed his own hands on Jisung’s warm face.
“Good?”
Jisung nodded, his hands squeezing Minho’s slim waist, and looked up at the other boy with starry eyes. His alcohol addled brain was still having trouble understanding why Minho picked him when Hyunjin was right there, but he knew that people were going to start getting impatient if they didn’t do anything. So he nodded once again, waiting for the pretty boy in his lap to make the first move.
“I’m going to stick my tongue in your mouth now,” Minho announced and a second later he did just that, pressing his body flush to Jisung’s as he went to work on the younger boy’s lips.
Jisung was frozen, unsure of what to do as Minho caressed his burning face.
Minho pulled back slightly after a minute, far enough to look Jisung in the eyes, and gave him a lopsided smile, “This will be more enjoyable for both of us if you kiss back.”
“O-okay,” Jisung managed to gasp out before Minho’s mouth was on his again. He tried his best, moving his lips in time with Minho’s as he clung tightly to the other boy. Minho’s tongue was in his mouth again and Jisung shivered, the overwhelming sensation causing him to grip Minho’s waist with more force than before. Minho jerked back, eyes shut and mouth twisted in a grimace, and Jisung was horrified to realize he was hurting him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jisung snatched his hands away, eyes wide with panic, but Minho grabbed his wrists before they could retreat fully. He smoothed his thumbs over Jisung’s warm skin, his smile soft.
“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Minho soothed. Jisung relaxed slightly and Minho leaned in, his mouth falling to Jisung’s neck. Jisung tilted his head back, a soft noise escaping him as Minho sucked a mark onto his skin. Once he was satisfied with what he’d done, Minho pulled away, his gaze jumping back up to Jisung’s startled eyes. He quirked a smile, then pressed one last chaste kiss to Jisung’s slack mouth.
“Done,” Minho hummed brightly and stood up, wiping his hands on his pants as he backed towards his side of the room. Jisung watched him go, barely registering Hyunjin spastically slapping him on the back in congratulations. Minho winked at him before he sank into his spot in the circle, reaching out to spin the bottle and keep the game going.
Jisung lifted his hand to the spot on his neck where Minho’s lips had been, his heart hammering in his chest. Across the circle, Minho seemed unaffected by what had just happened, the picture of relaxation as he crossed his legs in front of him and leaned back on his hands. Jisung tore his gaze away, not wanting to be caught staring. It was just part of the game. It didn’t mean anything.
A few spins later the bottle finally landed on Jisung and he picked truth, fiddling with the hole in the knee of his jeans as he waited for his question.
“Was that your first kiss?”
“No. Well, um, kinda, I guess.” Jisung quickly clarified, “First kiss with a boy. But not my first kiss.”
He winced after answering, his eyes dropping to his lap. Had it really been that obvious he was pretty inexperienced? Minho was probably going to be laughing about him with his friends later that night.
“You have to spin, Sungie,” Chan nudged him and Jisung nodded, numbly reaching for the bottle and sending it spinning.
He watched with detached interest as it twisted around and around, finally coming to a stop on...Minho.
Minho’s eyes slowly lifted from the bottle to Jisung, a smirk on his lips when their gazes locked.
“Truth,” he said before Jisung even asked, his voice low and oddly sultry. Jisung had a feeling there was something Minho wanted him to ask, but he had no idea what it was.
“Was I an awful kisser?” he blurted before he could talk himself out of it, cheeks flaming when someone on his left let out a loud guffaw.
Minho’s eyes softened, “Oh no, baby, you weren’t awful.”
Jisung almost combusted. This was it, this was how he was going to die. Squished in a circle at a dumb party while the prettiest boy in the world called him a pet name and smiled at him like he was something precious.
Jisung lost focus for the rest of the game, only realizing it was over when Chan stood up and tugged him to his feet. Jisung latched himself onto Chan’s side, resting his head on the older boy’s shoulder. He yawned loudly and Chan let out a fond chuckle, “Ready to go?”
Jisung nodded into his neck and he heard Chan telling Hyunjin they were heading out before a strong arm came down around his waist to support him. Jisung shuffled along, letting Chan guide him, and they were almost to the door when someone stopped them.
Jisung lifted his sleep heavy eyes to Minho, blinking tiredly at the boy in front of him.
“I’m sorry,” Minho said, reaching out to run light fingers over the hickey on Jisung’s neck. “About that. I hope it doesn’t upset your girlfriend.”
Jisung’s exhausted brain didn’t recognize that the statement was actually an inquiry, but he answered it anyway, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Oh,” there was a tiny hint of a smile on Minho’s face, but he tapped it down quickly. “That’s good. I don’t anyone to be mad at you. Unless you have a boyfriend who’s going to be bothered.”
“I don’t,” Jisung finally realized what was going on and he felt his cheeks heat up as Minho smiled for real.
“Good,” Minho nodded, rocking back on his heels before seeming to come to a decision. He swooped in, pressing a lingering kiss to Jisung’s flushed face, “Get home safe.”
“Y-yeah. I will. Um, you too.”
“I’m already home,” Minho giggled, bright and happy, and Jisung felt his heart skip a few beats. “But thank you.”
Minho gave him a little wave, wiggling each finger individually before he disappeared into the crowd. Jisung snuggled back into Chan’s side and let his friend guide him outside, no longer sleepy as his mind went into overdrive.
“Do you think he likes me?” His dorm room door was in view when Jisung finally voiced what had kept him silent for the entire walk home.
“He’s definitely attracted to you,” Chan stopped in front of the door and untangled Jisung from his body, his fingers brushing the mark Minho had left on the younger boy. “Take that as you will. I don’t know what it means.”
-
It was only a week after the party when Jisung found himself at another one, a cup of unidentified alcohol in his hand and a pleasant buzz humming through his body. There was no spin the bottle happening here, just a lot of dancing, though Jisung hoovered on the edge, shaking his head every time Hyunjin bounced over and tried to tug him into the fray.
“Not interested in dancing?”
Jisung turned his head and was met by Minho’s face, mere inches from his own. He jolted back and Minho laughed, a slight blush highlighting his sharp cheekbones, “Sorry, I had to be close so you could hear me over the music.”
“It’s okay,” Jisung relaxed back against the wall, his heart hammering uncomfortably in his chest. The hickey on his neck had started to fade, but had yet to disappear completely, and Jisung’s free hand unconsciously lifted to brush it as Minho stared at him, his dark eyes unreadable.
“Want another one?” Minho teased, reaching over and snagging Jisung’s drink. He took a large gulp, then brought his hand up to rub slowly across his mouth, drawing Jisung’s gaze to his lips. He smirked and dropped the now empty cup to the ground, his eyes locked on Jisung’s warm face.
“I-I’m good,” Jisung swallowed harshly and returned his attention to the dance floor. He wasn’t entirely sure what Minho wanted from him and he was a bit afraid to ask.
“Come on,” a hand wrapped around Jisung’s wrist and he was suddenly being dragged into the mass of dancing bodies, knocking knees and elbows with strangers as Minho tugged him along. Once they reached the middle of the floor Minho released his arm and snagged him by the waist instead, pulling Jisung flush against him. One of his hands remained on Jisung’s hip as he began to swiveled his own, coaxing Jisung into dancing with him. Jisung stumbled through the movements, his arms going up to rest on Minho’s shoulders as he tried to match the older boy’s rhythm.
“Sorry,” he mumbled after a few seconds of awkward grinding, stepping backwards as far as he could with Minho still holding him. “I’m shit at dancing.”
“I don’t care if you’re good or not,” Minho tugged at Jisung’s hip until they were pressed against each other again. “I just want to be close to you.”
Jisung was on fire, every inch of him flushing as Minho smiled at him.
“W-why?” he finally muttered when his voice decided to work again, his gaze locked somewhere over Minho’s shoulder. He couldn’t look the older boy in the eye, afraid he’d break down on the spot if he did.
“Because this is a party and you’re hot and making out with hot boys is what you do at parties.”
“We aren’t ma-”
Minho’s mouth cut off Jisung’s words, insistent and needy. Jisung reacted faster than last time, his lips working to find the rhymth that his hips hadn’t been able to. He noted that Minho was swaying against him, but Jisung was still, unable to focus on dancing and kissing at the same time.
Minho’s mouth moved away from his own, trailing kisses across his cheeks and down his neck until he found the same spot from the week before. He pressed a very gentle peck there before he pulled back, his free hand lifting to push Jisung’s bangs out of his eyes as they stared at each other.
“Was that okay?” Minho asked, the hand on Jisung’s hip squeezing lightly. Jisung nodded shakily, his own hands fisted tightly in the silky material of Minho’s shirt. “Want to get out of here?”
Minho must have seen the panic in Jisung’s eyes because he was quick to reassure him, “Not to hook up! I just want to talk to you somewhere quieter.”
“Oh, um, okay. I just...Hyunjin.”
Minho’s eyes searched the sea of dancers until they landed on Hyunjin, and he pointed him out to Jisung.
Jisung nodded and stepped back, taking one of Minho’s hands in his own and pulling him towards his friend.
“Sungie!” Hyunjin beamed at him and threw his arms around Jisung’s shoulders, belatedly noticing the boy attached to him. “Minho! Hi!”
“We’re going,” Jisung told him, lifting the hand that was slotted with Minho’s and waving it to emphasize his point. Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and Jisung smacked his friend with his free hand before using it to remove Hyunjin’s limbs from his body. “Have fun.”
“No, you have fun,” Hyunjin winked sloppily, then tapped Jisung on the butt as he turned to step away. “Go get ‘em, kid.”
Jisung didn’t bother dignifying that with a response, just tugged Minho by the hand until they were finally free of the crush of bodies.
They slipped out of the house and into the dark press of the night, the music from the party fading with every step they took. Minho wiggled his hand as they walked, working until their fingers were fully entwined, instead of their palms just clasping.
“How do you know Hyunjin?” Jisung finally asked, feeling a little awkward now that they were away from the party atmosphere. “You know him, right?”
“We’re both dance majors,” Minho tugged Jisung down a side street, taking control of their wandering. “We have a class together. He gave me hell for not picking him as the most attractive person in the circle the other week.” Minho snuck a glance at Jisung, a small smile on his face, “He was very insulted. But I stand by my decision.”
They arrived at a tiny cafe and Minho removed his hand from Jisung’s to open the door, ushering the younger boy inside with another hand on the small of his back.
“Hey, Woojin,” Minho called out to the bored looking barista, who gave him a lazy salute when he recognized him. “The usual and whatever he wants,” he nudged Jisung towards the counter lightly, his hand not leaving the smaller boy’s back.
Jisung scanned the menu, then ordered a small hot chocolate. Once they had their drinks, Minho led him to a booth in the corner, sliding in and tugging Jisung down next to him.
“So, Han Jisung, tell me about yourself.”
“You know my name,” Jisung dumbly pointed out, his brain shortcircting from the close proximity of Minho’s body. “I didn’t tell you my name.”
Minho laughed, “Hyunjin did. I asked about you.”
“Oh? What did you ask?” Jisung took a sip of his drink, knee accidentally nudging Minho’s under the table. He kept it there and Minho’s hand fell to rest on his thigh, warm and comfortable.
“Your name. Age. Major. If you were into boys.” Minho bit down on his bottom lip, “He, um, he didn’t say. If you were or not. He just winked. So if I’m seriously overstepping, feel free to smack me.”
“I haven’t had much experience. With girls or boys. But I’m attracted to both.”
Minho visibly relaxed, and a smile danced across his lips, “Oh, thank goodness.”
“But you’re…” he trailed off and Minho looked slightly worried, withdrawing his hand from Jisung’s leg and returning it to his own lap. Jisung took a deep breath and spoke into his hot chocolate, “You’re out of my league.”
Minho’s answering giggle was shot through with relief and his hand was back, thumbing at the bare skin take poked through the large rip in the knee of Jisung’s skinny jeans, “Leagues aren’t real. And even if they were, you’re not. I thought it was pretty obvious how attracted I am to you. But I can try harder if it wasn’t clear.”
“No, I know,” Jisung swirled his finger around the rim of his mug, still too afraid to look at Minho. “I know you think I’m hot,” he winced slightly at the word, “or whatever, but I don’t...I’m not gonna hook up with you.”
“I told you we aren’t going to.”
“I know we aren’t going to now,” Jisung sighed and rubbed the side of his head, wondering how to get this across to Minho. “But that’s what you actually want from me, right? That’s what parties are for.”
“Are you implying that the only reason I’ve bothered talking to you is so that you’ll eventually have sex with me?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Jisung worked his fingers into his hair, not liking the chipped edge Minho’s tone had taken on. “I mean, it’s true, right?”
“No, it’s not,” Minho stood up abruptly and nudged Jisung’s shoulder. “Please move. So I can leave.”
“Wait,” Jisung grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, keeping both hands wrapped around Minho’s forearm to prevent him from escaping. “You can’t get mad at me for thinking that’s what this is about when all you’ve done is talked about my looks and made out with me a few times. It’s not fair.”
Minho’s gaze was steely where it was locked on the wall and Jisung worriedly licked at his lips, the silence settling heavy between them.
“Do you know who I am?”
Now Jisung was confused, “Yeah. Minho.”
“No, I mean,” Minho sighed and dropped his gaze, his hand tapping out a nervous rhythm on the table. “My reputation.”
“Oh.” Jisung shook his head, “No. I don’t.”
“It’s not good,” Minho finally said softly. “I had a hard time freshman year and I kind of used hooking up as a way to take my mind off how miserable I was. And word got around. The girls said I was a player and the boys said I was easy and eventually that’s all I was. A quick fuck. But things got better, sophomore year, and I stopped. I stopped messing around, but it was too late, because once people hear something like that they don’t let it go, and it grew out of control. It turned into something nasty.” His voice quieted, “I turned into something nasty.”
Jisung stayed silent, knowing Minho had more to say.
“That’s all people see me as, still. Just someone always looking for the next hook up. And, I don’t know, I wasn’t my best last week. I could feel myself slipping back into that dark place and once we kissed I figured, why not? Why not just give in? Everyone will think I did anyway.
“I thought you were going to ask about it, when you spun me. And I was going to tell you it was true and invite you to my room. But then…” A very faint smile quirked up the corner of Minho’s lips, “You were so innocent. So concerned if your kissing had been okay. It snapped me out it. And I didn’t want that anymore. I wanted you, but, like, all of you. Not just your body.
“I thought, I don’t know, I thought you were different. I thought you were actually seeing me. But I was wrong. You’re just the same as everybody else.”
“That’s not fair,” Jisung’s voice was soft, but strength colored his words. “It’s not, Minho. It’s not fair that you’re precieved that way because of something in your past, but it’s also not fair to blame me for something I said when all the signs pointed to it. I wasn’t judging you, and I wouldn’t be mad at you if all you wanted was to hook up, I was just letting you know that I’m not comfortable with it. That’s all. It’s not because of who you are. I would have said the same thing to anyone.”
Minho was silent and Jisung sighed, removing his hands from Minho’s arm and making to stand up. Just as he was about to, the older boy spoke.
“I never been on an actual date. I’ve never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend or anyone that stayed longer than the night.” Minho reached for his drink, but didn’t move to lift it to his mouth, he just held it, watching the steam curl, “That’s what I wanted. From you. But I guess I went about it the wrong way. I’m sorry. For everything.”
“Here,” Jisung tugged his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, sliding it towards Minho. “Start by giving me your number. We can go from there. Okay?”
-
“This party is boring,” Jisung deposited himself on Minho’s lap, breaking the older boy away from the conversation he’d been having with Chan.
Minho laughed at his pout, thumbing Jisung’s bottom lip as his other hand snaked around his boyfriend’s waist.
“It’s not boring.”
“It is,” Jisung insisted, more than a little tipsy as he wiggled closer to Minho, his arms latching themselves tightly around the other boy’s neck.
“Well, why don’t we find something to do?” Minho suggested, his fingers moving up to push Jisung’s hair out of his eyes. “We could dance. Or play a drinking game. I think there’s beer pong going on down the hall.”
“Or we could make out.”
Jisung blinked up at Minho with twinkling eyes, his lips puckering as Minho giggled fondly.
“We could make out,” Minho agreed, his hand trailing down to cup Jisung’s flushed cheek. “Is that what you want to do?”
Jisung nodded enthusiastically, his hair flopping back into this eyes as Minho pretended to think about it, tilting his head to the side as he smirked at the younger boy.
“Don’t tease,” Jisung whined, grabbing Minho’s face and tugging it towards his own. “I wanna kiss you.”
“That’s really what you want?”
“More than anything,” Jisung assured him, before taking things into his own hands and molding his mouth to Minho’s.
That night Jisung left the party with three new hickies, a hand in his own and a very traumatized Chan.