Work Text:
Hoseok's heart broke at the sobs that rang through the hall. They all originated from Yoongi's studio. Hoseok stood at the door with his hand raised but he couldn't bring himself to knock. He let out a sigh and continued to walk down the hall to the practice room, hoping that the music would drown out the love of his life's cries.
~~~
Yoongi stared blankly at the wall. He felt as if he had cried all the tears left in his body, yet more continued to flow. He was tired of being in love with his best friend. Hoseok would never love someone like him. He rolled his chair over to the computer and opened the beats he had been working on. He was recycling some of the beat progressions from an older song but he just couldn't get it to sound right. He sat there for another 30 minutes trying to get the damn thing to sound right. He screamed out in rage and pushed all of his lyric sheets off the desk. He collapsed onto his knees in the middle of the floor and started sobbing. He looked down at his wrist and felt the urge to do something that he hadn't done in years. The intrusive thoughts scared him but he still found himself digging his fingernails into the soft skin. He ripped at the skin, sobbing even harder than before. He looked down at his wrist and saw blood stream onto the floor of the studio from a large gash. He gasped and continued to cry.
~~~
Hoseok had boon avoiding Yoongi's cries for an hour now and decided that he couldn't continue. He walked over to the door of the studio and knocked on the door.
"G-Go awa-y."
Hoseok felt his heartbreak at the weak sound of Yoongi's tear-soaked voice.
"I'm not leaving Yoongi hyung. What's wrong and don't tell me it's nothing. I can hear you sobbing. Please, let me in hyung."
Yoongi gasped at the sound of Hoseok's voice and curled into a ball.
"Hyung, if you don't open the door, I'm coming in."
"Please Hoseok. J-Just leave me-e alone."
"You know I can't do that, hyung."
Hoseok turned the doorknob and walked into the room slowly. He slowly approached Yoongi's shaking form and crouched down next to him. Yoongi flinched when Hoseok touched his arm and Hoseok felt his heart shatter. He pulled Yoongi into a sitting position and gasped when he saw the blood on Yoongi and the floor. Hoseok began frantically searching Yoongi for the source of the blood and he froze when he saw Yoongi's wrist. A strangled cry came from Hoseok's throat and he felt panic take over his thoughts.
"Hyung, what happened?"
His voice was quiet and Yoongi felt horrible for hurting Hoseok. Yoongi looked down at the floor and watched the tears dripping down his nose. Hoseok pulled off his sweatshirt and pressed it to Yoongi's wrist. Yoongi hissed at the pressure and bit his bottom lip, trying to not make any more noise. Hoseok disappeared for a few minutes to grab the first aid kit from the practice room. He rushed back into the room and started cleaning the wound. He froze when he saw the deep claw marks in Yoongi's wrist.
"D-Did you do this to yourself?"
Hoseok felt his eyes widen when Yoongi nodded his head. Hoseok felt a sob leave his chest and he pulled Yoongi to him. Hoseok cried into Yoongi's hair as the older boy sobbed into Hoseok's chest.
"I-I'm sor-ry Hoseok. I'm so sorry."
Hoseok felt his heart sink at the weak cries coming from Yoongi. Hoseok pulled away and continued to clean Yoongi's wound. He pressed a gentle kiss onto the wounds before wrapping it in bandages. Yoongi felt the blood rush into his cheeks and he looked back down at the floor. Hoseok dropped Yoongi's arm and grabbed Yoongi's chin, pushing his face up to make Yoongi look at him. Yoongi looked up at Hoseok with red, puffy eyes and Hoseok let out a deep sigh.
"Why Yoongi? Why would you do this to yourself? Please tell me."
Yoongi looked down again and bit his bottom lip. He couldn't tell Hoseok the real reason. How would he tell his best friend that he was desperately and irrevocably in love with him? Yoongi looked into Hoseok's pleading eyes and felt the dam break.
"You wanna know why? I did it bECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT YOU WOULD NEVER LOVE ME BACK. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. I CAN'T EVEN GET THIS STUPID BEAT TO WORK OUT. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT. I hate myself for being in love with my best friend."
Yoongi's chest was heaving up and down and his face was red by the end of his explanation. His eyes widened when he realized what he had done and he looked towards the ground, not daring to look at Hoseok.
"I-I'm just gonna go."
Yoongi stood up and rushed to the door with tears running down his face. He reached to open the door but he turned when his wrist was grabbed by a soft, honey-colored hand. Hoseok had tears running down his face and his grip on Yoongi's wrist tightened when he saw the heartbreak painted in Yoongi's eyes. Yoongi opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by Hoseok's lips on his own. Yoongi's eyes widened before fluttering shut as he kissed Hoseok back gently. Hoseok pulled away from Yoongi with a shy smile on his face. Yoongi stood there in shock as Hoseok bit his bottom lip. Yoongi looked into Hoseok's eyes and took in the love that he saw there. Yoongi leaned in and looked at Hoseok. Hoseok nodded his head in silent confirmation and a small smile found its way to Yoongi's face. Yoongi leaned in and kissed Hoseok hard. Hoseok's eyebrows went up in surprise but he kissed Yoongi back with just as much force. He threads his fingers into Yoongi's soft hair as one of Yoongi's hands reached to the small of Hoseok's back, pulling him closer as his other hand rested on Hoseok's jaw, his thumb rubbing circles onto Hoseok's high cheekbones. Yoongi pulled away and rested his forehead against Hoseok's as a smile spread across his face.
"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that. God, I love you, Hoseok."
Hoseok giggled before pressing a chaste kiss onto Yoongi lips.
"I love you too, Yoongi. But you have to promise that you won't hurt yourself again. I don't know what I would do if you went too far and killed yourself. Please, please stop this, Yoongi. I can't deal with the thought that I might come home one day and you'll be dead. Please, promise me Yoongi."
Yoongi nodded his head and Hoseok felt a smile stretch across his face. He grabbed Yoongi's hand and tugged him out of the studio. Yoongi protested that he had to figure out the beat but Hoseok silenced him with a sweet kiss.
"The beat can wait. We're going to go and get food and then we can work on the beat together, okay?"
Yoongi nodded before grinning up at Hoseok, the younger's heart filling at the sight of Yoongi's beautiful smile.