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“They had to take your leg. Don’t give me that look… God had to nerf you or you would’ve been too powerful.”
The pitbull just stares at Jill, tail wagging softly. Jill pats the couch. “Come on. Up.”
The pup is all too happy to climb up next to her.
Jill runs her hands over the dog’s thick skull. “Keeping me warm, huh? Since your mom isn’t here to do it herself.”
Carpet licks Jill under her chin before setting her head down on Jill’s shoulder. She sighs.
“And just what do you have to sigh about, huh, pup?”
Of course, Jill gets no answer from the dog.
Days off are slow and often lazy. There are times when she doesn’t even pull herself out of bed if Claire has already left. Today wasn’t that way, thankfully. She’d gotten up, taken the dogs on a short walk, and come back home. It’s still a few hours before Claire gets home.
Jill isn’t sure where she’d be without the Redfields.
It started out with Chris, so many years ago. He’s one of her best friends. And while he can be dense, she’s glad she’s been able to spend years by his side as his work partner. They’ve been through a lot. Too much, really. Zombies and dead friends and kidnappings and more.
But there’s been good moments too.
One of the best was Chris introducing Jill to Claire. And it hadn’t been a romance between them. Not at first.
It had taken some time, some pain, and a few dogs to get them to that point.
They’d been friends first, because of Chris. And then they’d moved in together for the simplicity of it. A year and a half of just being roommates had turned so much better. But then, some of their friends had apparently seen it coming long before they did.
And now they sleep in the same bed.
Jill loves Claire. She's been a solid support at her side for so long and now they're best friends as well as lovers. They've got three lovely dogs.
It’s easy for Jill to, for just a moment, forget all the crap she’s been through if she just focuses on Claire and the dogs. It’s what she needs to do to sleep some nights, especially the ones she can’t have Claire in bed beside her.
Claire doesn't go on missions often anymore. Jill suspects she ever-so-casually took herself off of being an active agent for the far off ventures. She's grateful for it, but there are times when she feels guilty Claire isn't out there.
Claire's last mission had been odd, apparently. She'd been partnered up with someone not from the BSAA. It'd been a woman they'd been introduced to by Leon, one Helena Harper.
According to Leon, Helena had been essential in his encounters in China and the incident surrounding it. He’d also mentioned she’d lost her sister in that time.
Despite the trauma Helena had obviously been through, she and Claire had cleared the job they’d been sent on in record timing. Jill, personally, enjoyed that, as Claire had come home much earlier than expected.
Claire had apparently enjoyed working with the woman, even if she wasn’t incredibly skilled at talking with people. It was rare for any of them to work with other queer people. Anyone outside their main group of friends was usually straight or cis.
But that job with Helena had been months ago. Since then, Claire had more firmly stayed in her position at their nearest BSAA headquarters.
Claire works well with people, so she’s often being dragged in as an intermediate between the BSAA and other organizations. The easiest is always the communications that pass through Hannigan and, occasionally, Leon. While the relationship with the United States Government isn’t always smooth, it averages a better rate of success than the others they encounter.
Jill remembers being better with people than she is now. Things have changed in the last few years. It’s not surprising. She’s been through “more than anyone should have”, as Claire likes to say. She has less patience for things that irritate her; pointless cruelty, dangerous stubbornness, or… straight men.
If someone is not her friend, or not obviously on her side, Jill finds it hard to put effort into them.
Claire, of course, is at the top of the list of people she enjoys being around. On that list is Chris, of course, and Leon. Josh has his place, as do Sheva and, at this point, Helena. There are others, but she keeps her group of friends small.
Many people, she finds, make it hard to focus. The wrong people seem to make the static in the back of her mind so much louder than usual. It’s a “brain noise” that used to be manageable, but it’s too late at this point for her to do anything about it.
For now, she focuses on keeping the right people around.
Claire. That’s her “right people”.
Jill falls asleep on the couch, thinking of Claire.
When Jill wakes some hours later, it’s to a dog stepping on her. It’s not Carpet, their tripod, but one of the other pits, Potato.
Carpet’s tail, however, is thumping happily against Jill’s leg.
Careful to be gentle, Jill pushes Potato off of her and sits up.
“Have a good nap?”
Claire being home explains why the dogs are excited.
“Mm. Yeah. Think I just got a new bruise from your kid there.”
“Oh, so when she steps on you, she’s just my kid.”
“That’s right, babe.”
Claire leans over the back of the couch and gives Jill a quick kiss.
“How was work?”
Claire groans as she turns back towards the kitchen. “So, so annoying. They had me helping out with some of the newbies.”
“Fresh meat, huh?”
“Rude, but right now, completely true. I know that we need people, but you’d think we’d hire more veterans and less people like “daddy bought my way through college and also bought me a gun”.” Her voice comes from the kitchen now, where she’s no doubt grabbing herself a snack. “And fuck, there’s a group of five, right? Only one of them is a veteran. He’s not bad, but he’s from like… the dead center of Georgia and I cannot for the life of me get a read on him, y’know?”
Jill makes a sound of understanding in response.
“It’s like… if I mention that I’m gay, what’s his reaction gonna be? Is he one of the okay ones or does he need his ass kicked?” Claire sighs. “Maybe I’ll have Chris chat with him and find out.”
“Doesn’t that require subtlety? Chris didn’t even know Leon was flirting with him, how’s he gonna tell what’s up with your Georgia guy?”
Claire pops out to set a couple glasses of ice water on the coffee table. She steals another kiss before heading back into the kitchen. “Dunno. But he’s also unafraid to just ask. Or I can have Chris chat with him and send Leon over, if he’s around. It’s not like they hide it.”
“Are you really worried? You could kick new guys ass, I’m sure. You can beat Chris and he’s unnaturally muscular.”
There’s a laugh from the other room. “I’m not afraid of him, I just don’t want him to twig and start acting weird without me knowing.”
Jill sits up more and crosses her legs, leaning back on the arm of the couch.
“Besides, I’m just thankful the vet has some idea of what he’s doing. The other four are definitely “daddy got me this job” types. Well, maybe three. They’re all like, maybe twenty-two. Three are guys. The girl seems nice, but she doesn’t talk much.” There’s the sound of silverware on ceramic as she talks. “The younger guys are just… They act like they know better. As if I haven’t been doing this crap since before their balls dropped.”
“Does the girl listen to you?”
“Yeah, for the most part. When she can hear me over idiots one through three.”
Claire pops back out of the kitchen. Jill can hear the microwave going.
"That's not the biggest thing that's happened lately," she starts up. "Newbie stuff is old news. But, can you guess which two singles are no longer single?"
Jill chuckles. "Do I get a hint?"
Claire thinks that over with a hum. "Well, you know them both. They're ladies. And… Okay, guess, because I'll just tell you after. If I give anymore, it'll be too easy."
No one springs to mind. Jill knows well over half the agents and other assorted workers at this BSAA. Two women who were single previously and interested in women don't pop to mind. "No idea."
"Alright, so you know how we introduced Helena to Sheva at the last barbeque Leon and Chris had?"
"Yeah."
"Apparently they hit it off. They've been going out since a few weeks after the barbeque."
Jill smiles. "Good. I think they'll be good together." She makes a note to message Sheva about it later.
"A stone dyke and a soft butch," Claire comments. "Can't wait to see how they turn out."
Jill shrugs. Before she can add anything on, the microwave dings and Claire darts into the kitchen.
"What about your day?" comes a call from the kitchen.
"I woke up, I watched some tv-- Actually, I finished rewatching season four of the Legend of Korra again. And then I hung out with Carpet and took a nap."
"I didn't hear eating in that list."
Shit, had Jill eaten today? She can't remember. Usually, if she's up before Claire leaves, she has something shoved into her hands for breakfast. But she had slept in this morning.
"I forgot."
Claire comes back into the room again, frowning. She's got two plates, each with leftovers piled high. "I thought that might be the case. Eat."
Jill takes a plate and sets it on her lap. Claire takes the spot beside her.
"I'm sorry," Jill says quietly. She knows Claire worries. She’s no fan of causing unnecessary worry, but there’s time she just can’t do the things that most people find simple. Even eating. "I didn't mean to not eat."
Claire nods. "I know. We'll get there though. You gotta heal at your own pace. Me getting mad or whatever if you forget doesn't help things." She shrugs. "I'll set a reminder on your phone or something. That way you get reminded and I don't have to worry."
The simple acceptance of how Jill is now always blows her mind. Claire cares, Claire loves her, and she gives her the space and time she needs.
Jill knows she could be so much worse off. Someone else might not understand. Someone else might yell when she forgets simple things or makes them worry.
Claire isn't like that. She always seems to know what Jill needs and how to get it to her.
The last few months-- hell, the last few years have been rough. She's been through a whole hell of a lot, including her own death and brain control and all goddamn types of bullshit that has been freaking ridiculous.
This calm now almost feels foreboding. Like, something else has to happen. Right? It had been an avalanche of horrible events before, who says it's ended? Sure, she's sitting on a couch and eating dinner with the woman she loves, but there has to be something else about to threaten their peace, right? How could she have gotten here? Peace doesn't feel like an option.
But then, every avalanche hits the bottom of the mountain eventually. And Jill, her broken body had been pulled out of the snow some time ago. That oppressive and cold and suffocating snow had tried its best to end her, but she's still here. She had been hurt. More than hurt. But she had also been surrounded by friends, the found family she had gained through her years fighting. Hell, she had emerged with more found family than when she had started.
Occasionally, Jill will have days she can't stand being alone. They are getting more and more rare as she goes, but they still exist. Those days, she will dig through her contacts and find a friend who's free and close by.
Every friend has answered the call at some point. Chris, Josh, Leon, Sheva… But none of them number anywhere near to Claire.
Jill can't count how many times Claire has called in or worked from home in order to keep Jill company.
Those days, Jill is filled with panic and can not, for the life of her, manage it. It's an existential dread that she can't do shit about alone. It pisses her off but she needs someone nearby to ground her.
Chris, she lets hold her for a bit. He's been a source of comfort for over a decade. More now. Leon, he brings over crappy movies for them to roast together. It's simple and fun and just the right sort of distracting. When Josh visits, the two of them bring the dogs out to the park. He loves animals and the distraction of getting them ready and them managing them at the park sits well with Jill. When it's Sheva, they often sit and play chest, or cards, or any simple two-person game. She's even brought over game systems before.
But none of it, for any of them, seems to match up to Claire. Chris might get sort of close, but he's not his sister.
On those days Jill panics, Claire is a soothing presence. It doesn't matter what they do. They could go for a walk or read a book together or just sit on the couch and nap. Whatever they do, Claire knows how to read her face. She knows how to find out what she needs. It is so terribly simple for Claire that Jill doesn't know how she got so lucky.
She loves Claire. She loves Claire so much.
She doesn't say it enough.
They're both about finished with dinner. Jill sets her plate aside and Claire's joins her a moment later.
"How does spaghetti always taste better the day after?" Claire asks. She yawns, stretching her arms up above her, before turning and latching herself onto Jill. "I think it's my turn to nap."
Jill chuckles and shifts so they're laying across the couch.
Claire makes a small, happy noise in the back of her throat. The shift has made it so her face is about chest level on Jill. She grins as presses her face between Jill's clothed breasts. "I love your boobs."
Jill snorts. "You make it pretty obvious."
Claire peeks up at her. "Stop having such great boobs and I'll stop making it obvious."
There's no answer for that.
Claire squirms a bit, moving up and tugging down Jill's shirt enough to press a soft kiss just below her collarbone. The skin there is still scarred; it's unlikely to fade with how often the injury had reopened before healing all the way. Claire is in the habit of kissing Jill's scars. Jill will never complain about that.
"You can nap here," Jill decides. "I'll probably just watch a movie or something."
"You sure? It's gotta be some sorta uncomfortable to have me like this."
"Oh no," Jill says in deadpan. "Whatever shall I do? My incredibly attractive girlfriend is on top of me. The horror. The unrivaled horror."
Claire laughs against her. "I get your point."
This is probably one of Jill’s favourite places to be. Maybe it’s a bit soft or overly sappy, but her mind is calm in moments like this. There are no flashbacks, no racking guilt or unstoppable panic.
She hasn’t been to work for a long time. The first time she had tried had gone poorly.
Due in part to Claire, she’s stopped trying to go back. At least for now. And therapy, as annoying as it is, is helping her.
She’s getting better.
It’s annoying and sometimes painful, but she is getting better. She knows it’s like that sometimes. She has to be reminded constantly: progress is not linear.
Again, Claire helps with that. Jill couldn’t be luckier to have someone so goddamn understanding.
Jill brings a hand up and runs it through Claire’s hair. Careful not to pull, she removes the hair tie holding in her ponytail. Claire makes a soft contented hum as Jill combs her fingers through her hair.
The relentless noise at the back of Jill’s mind goes quiet. There’s so little that makes it this soft, but moments with her girlfriend help.
“I love you,” Jill blurts out. She doesn’t mean to say it so abruptly, but it’s not the first time she’s said it at all.
Claire sighs, happy. She doesn’t even look up, “I love you too.”