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“Wild. Never thought I could actually do it. So glad I did. I… kinda wanna do it again? Okay, shut up.”
Thoughts were racing inside Sean’s dizzying mind, fighting for the chance to be held onto for longer than a split second. Somewhere deep inside, Sean desperately wished he could calm them down. His heart was racing, his mouth was dry, and he was resisting every single part of his subconscious that just wanted him to go back to Finn and be held by him until the morning. The alcohol in his system was making everything fuzzy and warm. He just wanted to keep chasing that feeling.
His feet began moving on their own, away from the crowd by the fire, away from is brother and Cassidy, and back, back towards where he last felt that safety. That was what shocked him most of all. After the idea of kissing Finn, of touching him, of telling him how he felt had been possessing his mind for weeks and weeks,he never fathomed just how right it would feel. Every other time in Sean’s life that he had acted on his feelings had always lead to such awkward moments, moments that made Sean want to crawl out of his skin and sink into the ground.
Finn made him feel right after everything had felt so wrong for so long. Finn’s hands were always on him, and every time they were it was like Sean was frozen. His body and mind would halt, all focused on the exact nerve endings that lay beneath Finn’s hand or arm or side, whatever part of him was connected to Sean. It was intoxicating. And Sean was actually intoxicated, and had finally gotten the exact touch he wanted; it felt like an overdose.
Sean just wanted to be safe, to be warm, to be happy. His home was gone, his father was gone, his little brother was drifting away day by day: the only family he had left after they had to run from Claire and Stephen’s home. He was trying so hard to keep Daniel safe, but he just couldn’t seem to reign him like his father could. Everyday he felt suffocated by the anxiety of getting caught, of the police finding them, or their friends finding out and telling on them. It kept him up at night, and woke him up in cold sweats.
But Finn was new, and Finn was always there, always a constant, always treating Sean like he had known him for years. Finn always knew what to say, and what he said always made Sean feel special. It had been so long since he had someone around he could call a friend. Finn was more than that though, he was more like Jenn than like Lyla. He was all sharp cheekbones and a smooth drawl and such a pretty face.
As all of these feelings were bubbling in him as he moved further, his mind miles away from his body, his eyes open but his sight showing him an image that was a world away. Go back. Go back.
After finally blinking himself back into reality, Sean noticed he was standing in front of Finn again. The man was looking up at him expectantly, eyes ever so slightly unfocused due to his cross-faded state.
He didn’t know why, but suddenly his face felt hot, and his vision became blurry, and his head started pounding. Finn was standing up in a second, taking a second to find his balance before placing two hands on Sean’s shoulders, a solid weight to keep him from floating away again.
“Hey Sean, you good, man?” Came Finn’s voice, and Sean finally realized he was crying. Why? This was a happy moment. Finn finally knew about his feelings, and he felt the same way. Once this thought crossed through his mind, the fear from deep in the pit of his stomach finally exploded an instant later, surging straight up through his chest, into his throat, and came out as a retching sob. Finn looked solemnly at him, wrapping an arm around him and guiding him to sit back down on the log where they had just kissed.
Somehow knowing that Sean wouldn’t be able to talk, Finn simply rubbed his back, soothing him with soft whispers of reassurance. At first, this made Sean cry harder, hands covering his face, embarrassed by the rapid stream of tears flowing down his cheeks.
What was making him so sad? He tried to find some reason behind it, but every thought stopped short when he was constantly being drawn back to reality by Finn’s touch. Instead of running away from it to clear his head, he fell into it. He leaned into Finn’s touch, letting the older man embrace him, Sean’s head pressed into the crook of his neck. The tears streaming from his face finally slowed and came to a steady stop, and he was left with that hollow feeling in his chest he always got after he sobbed, the result of an expulsion of all the emotions that had once made themselves comfortable by weighing his chest down.
“I’m sorry.” He finally croaked. Finn shook his head, hand rubbing up and down Sean’s arm.
"What’re you sorry for, sweetheart?” Finn tutted. Sean moved away again, sitting up straight sighing deeply. Finn brought his hand up to carefully wipe the remaining tears from Sean’s face, staring into his eyes, waiting for Sean to continue.
“I think… I’m just really fucking scared.”
“Of what? Aw, it’s not me, is it? Fuck, I hope I didn-”
“No. No, you- you are great. You didn’t do anything wrong. That’s the problem. I-” He choked up again, emotions catching up to his voice, stopping it in his throat. He felt like he had no tears left, and yet some more welled in his eyes. He continued, “I’m afraid of losing you like I’ve lost everyone else. I don’t want tonight to be the last night we have together.”
“Sean, you know that’s not what’s gonna happen. We have the whole dream team right here. With Daniel’s powers this is gonna be a piece of cake. You have to trust me, though… I don’t want to lose you either, sweetie. But I’m not like everyone else. We’re gonna see this through.” Finn grabbed Sean’s hand, rubbing a soothing thumb over his knuckles.
Butterflies. All through Sean’s stomach. Then, the strong urge to put his lips directly back on Finn’s. And so, he did.
It seemed to take Finn by surprise when Sean’s mouth was suddenly pressed back up to his, with much more force this time than the last. Sean’s hands reached up to grab Finn’s face, shifting his body to get as close as possible to Finn without actually sitting on top of him. Finn reciprocated with as much enthusiasm, sticking his tongue out to run along the seam of Sean’s lips, asking him to open his mouth. Sean complied immediately, and was taken aback for a second by the feeling of another tongue on his. It was an entirely new sensation, but not one that he didn’t like. His heart was racing faster and faster the longer they kissed, head spinning from sheer happiness and lust.
Finn’s hands were snaking around his waist when he bit Sean’s lip, causing him to yelp. Finn giggled, squeezing his hands to reassure Sean, before continuing to press his lips onto Sean’s, further drawing Sean into a stupor. He wasn’t sure what his body was doing anymore, his hands were up in Finn’s hair, and he only wanted to be closer.
“Hey…” Finn finally pulled away, breaking Sean out of his trance much to his disappointment. He could have done that forever, never moving from that spot and just savoring Finn’s touch till they couldn’t breathe any longer. He looked at Finn expectantly, eyes falling straight to his red, swollen lips. An image flashed in his mind of Finn’s mouth on other parts of his body, his chest, his stomach, his hips, his dick. The last image caused a bright blush to cover his entire face, and he brought his eyes towards the forest floor so as to calm himself down.
Finally, Finn spoke, “What… d’you think about makin’ a stop in my tent… ‘fore we head out on our heist n’ all? I can cheer you up real nice.” Sean wasn’t sure what he meant at first, but the hand traveling up his thigh, closer and closer to his crotch made Finn’s point clear all of a sudden. Sean swallowed deeply, mouth hanging open slightly as he contemplated what might happen. He was going from his first kiss with a guy to his first time in the same night. The alcohol running through his veins was making that prospect seem entirely normal.
He nodded quickly, and a great grin spread across Finn’s face immediately after. He stood up, reaching a hand out to help Sean up. Once Sean was standing, he wrapped an arm around his waist, guiding them across the campsite and into his tent. With each step, more and more tension made itself familiar with the inside of Sean’s stomach. The butterflies now felt more like elephants, but in no way was he afraid. He had been anticipating this since soon after he met Finn, not that he was sure it would ever happen, but his monkey brain wanted nothing else whenever he needed to take care of his bodily needs. Not having any access to porn made Sean acutely aware of how vivid his imagination could get. Finally though, it was really, actually, genuinely fucking happening.
Once they were inside, Finn looked into Sean’s eyes seriously.
“Um, lemme know if anythin’ I do makes you uncomfortable. Wanna make this good for you, baby.” Finn’s words were clear but his eyes and flushed face revealed just how much he wanted to jump Sean. Sean nodded, never taking his eyes away from Finn’s, waiting for the next movement.
Finn pressed his lips to Sean’s slowly, a stark change of pace from their last kiss. He was being so gentle, Sean felt like a porcelain doll. He wanted something rough, he wanted Finn to bite his lip again. He whined softly, wishing that would express his desires. Finn smirked against his lips, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek before pulling away.
“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked, a hint of mischievousness in his smiling eyes. Sean huffed, pursing his lips and giving Finn a pouty look, too embarrassed to verbalize exactly what he was wanting. Finn chuckled once more, bringing his hand down to rub Sean’s arm.
“Use your words, darlin’.” Finn encouraged him, bringing his face down to Sean’s neck, pressing his mouth lightly to his neck. Sean felt an eruption of tingles down his whole body, stemming from the spot Finn was nursing with his tongue and lips lightly.
“I… I want you to…,” Sean struggled to finish his thought, distracted by the sensation Finn was giving him. He never knew his neck was so sensitive.
“Hmm?” Finn coaxed, not letting up on his ministrations.
“Don’t… be so gentle.” Sean finally blurted out, voice in a half-whisper, and a hot red blush covering his cheeks. Finn finally pulled away, looking back into Sean’s eyes.
“You sure ‘bout that, sweetheart?” He drawled, and Sean genuinely considered the question for a second. Was he sure? He had never done anything like this, but from how much he imagined it, he thought he knew what he wanted. With the mood he was in he just wanted Finn to pin him down, hold him there, and have his way with him. He wanted to give up all control to the man, after trying to keep everything under control for so long. He wanted to forget about his pain. He wanted every one of his thoughts to be of Finn alone.
“Fuck, yes,” He finally replied, “please, Finn. I need it.” He let himself give in to what Finn wanted.
“Fuck, you make a real compellin' argument.” Finn whispered, bringing his lips back to Sean’s, immediately opening his mouth with a hot tongue, using it to push Sean back into that state of euphoria.
Hands traveled up and down Sean’s torso, finally reaching under his shirt and tugging on it to get it off. Before it could even come off his shoulders, Finn’s mouth was on his nipples, sucking them into his mouth and licking them till they hardened into little pebbles. Sean moaned, surprised yet again by his sensitivity in a spot he had never considered to be an erogenous zone for himself before. Having someone else do all of these actions he had only imaged, only ever seen in porn, was making him uncomfortably hard.
He reached a hand down to try and unbutton his pants, to finally relieve himself and the straining. Finn’s hand stopped him, pinning his wrist back.
“I gotcha, sweetheart.” He reassured, keeping both of Sean’s wrists in one hand as he crept his face further down, placing wet kisses across Sean’s stomach, dipping his tongue into his bellybutton for a second and making Sean gasp. Finally he moved his mouth further down, down towards the place Sean was desperately aching from, where there was so much pressure he thought he might explode the second Finn lay a finger on him.
Finn’s open mouth came down onto his clothed dick, straining so tight against the fabric that there was a clear outline, accentuated further by the dim lamp in the corner of the tent. Even though it was a dull sensation, just some light pressure through his clothes, the image alone made Sean whine. Finn looked straight into his eyes as he continued teasing him through his pants, keeping Sean’s wrists in a tight grip as he kept trying to break free, just wanting to touch himself, Finn, anything to relieve that pressure.
Finally Finn released his wrists to use both hands to unbutton his jeans, pulling the zipper down and pressing down with the palm of his hand before gripping the waistband, tugging the pants down. Finn could clearly see the wet spot that was growing around the tip of Sean’s dick, and could do nothing but put his mouth directly on it, sucking softly.
“Oh!” Sean couldn’t hold down a loud moan, eyes widening immediately, surprised at his own volume. He brought his free hands up towards his mouth, biting into the skin on the back of his hand, both out of embarrassment and to keep himself quiet. Below his waist, Finn was laughing quietly at his reaction. Once the embarrassment had passed, he brought his mouth back down onto the patch, saliva mixing with precum and further darkening and spreading the spot. Deciding he had teased him enough, Finn tugged his underwear down, and Sean’s dick sprung up, slightly larger than Finn had expected.
Finn licked up and down the length, keeping his hands on Sean's hips to steady him. He watched Sean closely for his reaction to every little movement he made, wanting to know exactly what would drive him over the edge. Sean couldn’t believe what was happening, and how much better it was than his imagination could fathom. He knew Finn was experienced but he didn’t realize just how experienced. He wasn’t complaining, but part of him was worried he wouldn’t be able to match his expertise and just disappoint him.
When Finn’s mouth finally wrapped around his dick, took in a few inches, and sucked hard, he only lasted 10 seconds. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, breathing erratic, hands grasping at the blankets beneath them, mouth wide open in an effort to get more and more air, heat burning in his face, and finally he came right into Finn’s mouth. He gasped, not realizing that he was so close, and wishing he had warned the man. He quickly looked down, embarrassment filling him to the brim, to see if Finn was mad. However, the man was happily swallowing it down, taking Sean further into his mouth and sucking the rest out. He finally popped his lips off, a string of saliva still attached to his mouth which was hanging open with the evidence of Sean’s pleasure still visible on his tongue.
He sat up, leaning back over Sean.
“Can I kiss you?” Finn asked, cum threatening to spill from his lips. Sean’s eyes widened for a second, and he felt a wave of something overwhelming wash over his entire body. Something hot, and wrong, but so right.
“Please, yes-” He barely managed to get out before Finn’s open mouth was on his, cum-covered tongue mixing with Sean’s, swapping it back and forth between their mouths. Sean was already hard again. The flavor was something he would have to get used to, but the feeling was something he was already addicted to. Finn would suck on his tongue to bring it back into his mouth, and then allow it to drip back down into Sean’s mouth, and Sean’s mind spun continuously into lust. Finally Finn pulled away, swallowing everything down, and Sean did the same with what was in his mouth. Finn reached a hand up, thumb picking up some cum that had spilled onto Sean’s cheek, and bringing it to his mouth to suck off. Sean wrapped his lips around the finger, staring into Finn’s eyes as he did.
“God, I can’t believe you’re real…” Finn murmured, brushing his lips back against Sean’s.
Sean felt like he was ready to cum again already.
He laughed at that thought, and Finn began giggling too. Soon, they were in a full-out laughing fit, thinking about what they had just done, taking some of the seriousness of the moment away. Sean then remembered that Finn had yet to relieve himself.
“You are amazing.” Finn gushed, crawling back up to lay next to Sean.
“Can I… touch you?” Sean whispered, suddenly embarrassed again by what they had been doing. Finn snorted, bringing his hand up to brush through Sean’s hair.
“You can do anything you want to me, sweetheart.” Finn followed. Sean’s head swirled at the thought. He felt his mouth dry up, tongue suddenly a heavy weight in his mouth. He felt like… he wanted his mouth on Finn.
Sean moved his head down, trying to imitate Finn’s movements from earlier, lifting his shirt off, placing kisses up and down his torso, savoring the feeling of soft skin under his lips, the sound of the hitched breath of the man underneath him, the gentle hands that made their way into his mohawk.
He wasn’t sure he would be able to give Finn as much pleasure as he had just received, but for what he lacked in experience, he would make up for in enthusiasm. He brought a hand up to grip Finn’s dick through his pants, skipping all the teasing that Finn had tortured him with. He didn’t possess the same kind of patience. Finn didn’t seem to mind.
He gripped the man’s dick in his right hand, bringing his left up to grip onto his hip, lifting his eyes up to look at Finn’s half-closed ones while he pressed a small kiss to the head. Finn groaned, low and happy, and Sean couldn’t hold himself back as he brought as much into his mouth as he could in one fell swoop. It was only about halfway before he was too afraid he would hit his gag reflex, and he was paranoid about reflexively biting, but he tried his best to do what he remembered felt good when Finn did it.
Moving his left hand to the base of Finn’s dick, he began to jerk it in tandem with his head movements, bobbing up and down rhythmically once he got the hang of everything. Finn’s breathing came faster and harder now, and he felt his own dick swelling up again just from the sounds the man was making. Knowing that he was causing them made his heart flutter.
“Fuck, you’re a natural, Sean,” Finn groaned, and Sean was blushing immediately, almost losing his pace, caught off-guard by the praise. He wondered if their friends could hear them, or if they were too distracted by music and weed and beer. He hadn’t felt this grounded in a long time, connected to Finn on such an intimate level, sharing something with him he hadn’t ever shared before. Sean was on cloud nine.
After another minute of suppressed moans, jerking hips, and hands tugging on hair, Finn gave the warning that he was about to cum. Sean considered his options. A part of him wanted a repeat of what Finn had done to him, another part of him wanted to selfishly swallow it all down for himself, and another wanted to let it land on his face. He went for what felt right.
The first few spurts went right onto his tongue, and the last few he allowed to stripe across his cheeks, lips, and chin. Once it seemed like Finn was finished, he ran his tongue down from the head, cleaning up whatever had been missed.
“Holy shit, were you lyin’ about not doin’ this before?” Finn asked incredulously, bringing a hand up to run through his dreads, wiping some of the sweat off his brow. Sean smiled, moving his body up to lay down next to the man.
“I swear. I just, um… used to watch too much porn.” He admitted shyly. Finn barked out a laugh, hand coming up to swipe at the cum left on Sean’s face.
“Naughty, naughty little Sean.” He smirked, gathering up the cum with his thumb and bringing it back to Sean’s mouth like before, watching his wet finger disappear between swollen lips. Finn had no idea Sean was going to be like this. He was thrilled.
Sean himself had no idea this part of him existed. He was pretty sure the alcohol had something to do with it. He just wanted to be in this moment. He wanted Finn’s tent to be the only place that existed. This campsite, with his friends and little brother, protected by the redwoods, any noise they made to alert the outside world of their presence drowned out by the crickets.
For now, that was true. Just them, safe from harm and change. Sean knew what had to happen, and he trusted Finn. But for now, in this moment, all that mattered was them.