Work Text:
"Be careful," you told Gavin as you hugged him tight, not wanting to let go as he was about to leave for another mission. He had told you that he would be gone for several days as this mission takes place in several cities over.
"Don't worry, I will be, I'll be fine " he tried to assure you, hugging you back and planting a kiss on the top of your head.
You remained where you were, though, refusing to let go. "Last time you left on a mission like this, you came home hurt. I don't want that to happen again," tears started to roll from your eyes as you tried turning your head in hopes he wouldn't see it.
He didn't say anything in response for a while, trying to come up with something to say as you continued to hold onto him. But he had finally broke the silence. "I know you're worried about me, but I'll be careful." He sighed, trying to come up with a way to cheer her up a bit. "When I get back, I'll treat you to a surprise. How does that sound?"
You sniffed, looking up at him as he probably already figured you were crying and smiled a little at him. "Just, please, come home safe." You lightened your grip on him, although you kept your hold on him.
Gavin quickly glanced at the clock. "I should get going. I don't want to be late," he told you, as he got out of your hold, giving you a quick kiss on the lips, smiling at you. "I love you."
You smiled, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. "I love you, too."
Gavin headed towards the door, waving goodbye before leaving. You stood there, watching him leave until he was completely out of sight. You wanted to believe he would come back safe and sound but your gut was telling you otherwise, unlike any other time he had been gone on dangerous missions. You couldn't ignore your gut, but you have to think otherwise to keep you sane.
- - - - - - -
From the time he left, you sat in worry, but your mind was flooded with reassuring thoughts.
He'll be fine.
He never came home severely injured before, why would this be any different?
Maybe it isn't as bad as anticipated and he'd be home early!
But as days become weeks, those reassuring thoughts left, leaving anxiety to take its place.
Maybe the mission is taking longer than expected?
He's never been gone this long on a mission before.
What if this mission is his last?
Man, do you wish that last thought never crossed your mind. The wait was utter torment to you as you lay in bed, on the side Gavin usually sleeps in as it still smelled faintly of him in the pillow, the sheets, the covers. You didn't want to get up. You were starting to miss work, feigning sick to any of your coworkers who ask. You looked the part and sounded it, too. Maybe you were. Tears started rolling down your cheek as you couldn't help but to think the worst.
"You told me you would come home. You promised me you were going to be safe and would treat me to a surprise when you got back!" You muttered to yourself, clutching tightly onto the covers.
You were about to fall asleep when you hear a knock at the door. Usually Gavin just let's himself in as he pretty much lives with you now, but maybe he wanted to surprise you this way.
You jumped out of bed and darted to the front door. Hope was rising inside as you were prepared to jump and hug Gavin, never intending to let him go ever again.
But as you opened the front door, the hope shattered as you saw Minor standing in the doorway. He knew Gavin was away on a mission so you didn't really know why he was there. But to not be rude, you put on a small, fake smile and invited him in.
He was also putting on that same fake smile as he entered the apartment and sat down on the couch, as you joined him.
"I..." he started to say, but sighed. Your heart dropped, you already knew what he was going to say, but decided to let him say his part. Not wanting to seem rude about it.
Minor looked around, avoiding eye contact with you, not wanting to see you so upset, and the weight he's about to unload would absolutely crush you, he wasn't prepared for that.
Minor took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He knew he had to tell you, he just needed to get it over with. "I don't know really how to say this, but..." he sighed again. "Gavin isn't coming b-back." He stuttered that last part, as that made reality sink in.
You sat there for a moment, processing what he just told you.
He can't be gone, he just can't!
You lost it. You started to bawl your eyes out as Minor hugged you, hoping it would make you feel better.
"Why does he have to leave on those stupid missions? He told me he'd be careful, but he should hff have just stayed home, then none of this would have happened!" You started venting on, just trying to make sense of everything. Minor just kept his hold on you, not saying anything so as to let you blow off steam. He knew there was no conversation to be had, he had done what he had to do.
"I wish I could have talked him out of it, or at least promise to send me a letter or something to let me know he's okay during his free time. I just don't get why he leaves for so long without letting me know anything. Isn't he aware he has people who care for him deeply? Couldn't he find a way to keep in touch, even through the mail if he isn't able to text me even?!" You started to grasp onto Minor, your nails digging into the sleeves of his shirt, trying to find comfort during this trying time.
You and Minor sat there for who knows how long as you let it all out. Minor, who was barely keeping himself together so as to keep the situation from escalating and to be her support in these trying times.
As time went by, you were exhausted and had fallen asleep, leaning on Minor's shoulder. Minor noticed and decided it was best to out you in bed and leave for the night.
As morning rose, you woke up in bed as you started to remember what you heard last night from Minor and you hoped it was all just a dream, but as the spot in the bed next to you was empty and you remembered what day it was, you already knew it wasn't a dream. You got up out of bed rather reluctantly, but you needed to eat something since you hadn't really ate anything yesterday. You made your way to the kitchen and made yourself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table. The silence was haunting and very hard to take, but you toughed it out. You poked the cereal with your spoon for a while before taking a bite of it and went in repeat.
Your mind flooded with thoughts of Gavin, replaying memories of dates and all the time the two of you spent together, and how you both first met. A smile broke on your face to the happy memories but as reality struck back again, as quickly as it came, it went. Your eyes welling up with tears, trying to fight back another round of heavy sobbing.
No, don't cry. He wouldn't want you crying. You have to be strong for Gavin.
You had given yourself an internal pep talk to convince yourself that you can get through this and doing what you believe Gavin would have wanted you to do. Plus, you needed to get yourself together, you already missed too much work as it is, if you keep it up, you'll find yourself without a job.
You got yourself dressed and put some makeup on, especially so it doesn't look like you had just cried. You took a deep breath and stepped outside and headed on to work, in which Minor had waited so he can walk with you to make sure you were okay.
Things did start to get easier as days went by, although there was never a day you didn't think about Gavin, but you came to terms with it as you realize he went on those missions for the greater good, for the wellbeing of the civilians. You have those times where you think that if this happened, then he would still be here, but you no longer let those bring you down.