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I would do anything for Kazuki.
I really would.
Kazuki smiles at me weakly and I smile back like a fool; That lasts for half a day, maybe a bit more or a bit less, and then the feeling misses me.
...If Kazuki asked anything of me, I would do it; I swear I would. If he asked anything of me...
Well, Kazuki never asks me for anything.
And I don’t think he wants anything from me as well.
Enta Jinnai once had a thousand different sweet feelings a day; Every day. His best friend Kazuki was the best friend someone could have, and he would think that to himself as Kazuki taught him to do that soccer move he always did want to try.
“Yeah!!! Just like that!! Just bend your knees a bit more!!”
And while he ended up tripping as he screamed loudly, Kazuki still laughed tenderly.
He had tripped face first into the ground; It smelled like dirt and wet earth, and even though he quickly cleaned it up, now it was on his hand. He scrubbed it on his shorts, which was probably not the greatest idea, but-
“You are so clumsy Enta!!! But you are almost there!!!”
Kazuki still taught him patiently and smiling, like he really was having fun sharing a moment with someone like him.
Enta Jinnai had a thousand different, sweet feelings everyday whenever he was with Kazuki. It felt just like ice cream.
- - - - - - - - -
“Kazuki”
He said that name for the first time; Once.
“Kazuki...”
That word seemed to accumulate different meanings every day.
- - - - - - - - - - -
The sunlight through the entrance was just beginning to fade, slowly, as he watched Kazuki play some shooting game in his DS ;Both leaning on the wall.
His grandma watched television; A romance movie.
Kazuki shot zombies, with BOOMs and plings and gaaaugh and all kinds of videogame noises, and Enta leaned in by his shoulder to properly join in.
Don’t you want to play, Enta?” He would say.
“I am fine watching. I like watching.”
-And he would never bother Kazuki or interrupt his fun.
Some melody from the romantic comedy grandma was watching started playing louder and louder, and Enta looked up to see the screen. The actor put his hands to the girl’s cheeks, looking deeply into her eyes. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, and leaned in-
A kiss.
Without thinking, Enta realized he was brushing a strand of his own hair back, and looked sheepishly at Kazuki , who had his eyes glazed over in concentration.
His lips were straight, on a determined line.
...Would he want to kiss Kazuki?
...
...That was not the first time he thought of that...
The melodic music in the back was reaching it’s highest point, and Enta kept looking at his lips trying to figure out if... If...
-Perhaps he only really wanted to feel close to him. He was being silly. He was being silly all the time, it was starting to get tiring...
...But then again, perhaps he really did want to...
"Look Enta I wrecked this one right on the head!"
"Aahh haha that’s so cool Kazuki!"
Kazuki still smiled warmly like he always did; And to smile that warmly at someone like him... That was...
"You know. It’s much cooler playing with you there than by myself"
He didn’t think he would ever kiss Kazuki, but he would do his best to be by his side so Kazuki would never have to play alone.
Leaning again in his shoulder and glancing vaguely at the zombies, Enta breathed in. Kazuki smelled like sweat and some kind of flowery sugary shampoo.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kazuki smelled like sweat and some kind of flowery sugary shampoo. It made him think of some kind of rose tinted sea with a never ending horizon, and the softest...Softest sunlight on his face.
...He didn’t know which shampoo it was, and he should probably not try to figure it out.
He should probably, probably, definitely, certainly not try to figure it out.
Enta was in Kazuki’s bathroom and suddenly glanced at the bottles by the bathtube.
There were a lot of them; A lot of them, and he knew that he shouldn’t...
When he blinked he saw himself opening one by one; Open, smell, cringe as it’s not the right one; next.
Eek! One of them smelled so bad Enta wondered if shampoos were capable of rotting. But certainly, certainly the next one...
“Enta? What are you doing?”
...
...He had forgotten to lock the door.
Kazuki stared with a dumb smile, as if Enta having his nose inside a shampoo bottle was the funniest thing to ever happen.
“T-t-the bottle just looked SO beautiful!”
Kazuki laughed softly.
“It does, doesn’t it? I like the roses. But that’s not the one I use! It’s this one.”
He pointed to another one, purple and roundish, in the pile he hadn’t look into yet. He pointed to it so very casually.
Enta bought a bottle of that, that day, and getting home with it by his hand, he never felt so ashamed before, staring at the purplish bottle, suddenly unsure of what to do with it.
...
He only really wanted to feel near him.
But it didn’t even work, as the shampoo alone didn’t smell that much like Kazuki at all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Enta Jinnai had made a mistake.
...He really did eat too much ice cream this time. Shouldn’t have put too much chocolate syrup, that wasn’t good for his stomach... That was no good...No good at all...
As he lurched over the toilet, face pale and stomach and throat burning, he felt so much more nauseous because he knew Kazuki was outside the bathroom, listening to his gross vomit gurgles.
“Do you need help, Enta?”
“N-n-No!”
“I’m bringing you water.”
There were tears in his eyes. That was so pathetic. Kazuki would never vomit because of ice cream, Kazuki would never...
Kazuki...
Enta threw water in his face and stared at the mirror. He couldn’t see shit.
Putting his glasses on, he stared again.
White faced with buggy eyes, obviously the face of a boy who had just vomited. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.
Kazuki knocked on the door and after sighing heavily, he opened it.
“Hey...huh...you don’t look so good. Come sit down and drink some water...”
“T-thanks...”
Staring at the cup, he knew that was the most precious gift he could have right now.
A cup of water. Brought by Kazuki.
Huh. That was the silliest thought he had all day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A cup of water. Brought by Kazuki.
Kazuki who had saved his life.
Kazuki who saved his life every day.
Well, how dared him feel any pain at all while thinking about him?
Kazuki... Who would sometimes look at a direction and he would try to follow with his eyes only to realize he had no idea what he was looking at. Kazuki who...Kazuki who...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I love Kazuki.
I am in love with Kazuki.
He is the first thing I think of when I wake up. He is the first thing I think of when I go to sleep.
When he laughs at something I said, with me; earnestly, I feel like I could burst with happiness.
It’s making me sick.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Loving Kazuki is not easy, but it’s not that bad either.
They would play ball together in the sun; In the middle of the field, the grass becoming golden, and Enta would make a pass to him; He would make a pass to Enta and Kazuki would score a goal. And he would share his victory with him. Kazuki would share his victory with him; Kazuki would share his victory with him.
They were the golden duo!
And Kazuki cared for him. Kazuki cared for him. Kazuki cared for him. Kazuki cared for him. Kazuki cared for him!
Even if he would never get to kiss Kazuki that didn’t matter at all!!! What would make him happy the most...What would make...him happy the most...
Enta wanted to be by his side always. Forever. Forever and ever, if they could go on as the golden duo...if they could go on as the golden duo...
We were so happy then, snorting at kid jokes and running around like kids and i wouldn't think of- I wouldn't think of-
So why.
Even for someone like him, it was so much easier not to be awkward before; So it would be fine if he was that way forever!
And if Kazuki ever asked anything of him, anything at all he would do it...He would do anything at all.
So he should stop daydreaming about Kazuki asking him to do these things, stop daydreaming about Kazuki asking him to hold his hand, stop daydreaming about Kazuki asking to kiss him, and just wait for whatever Kazuki would really ask of him.
"Enta?" Can you turn off the lights?
Kazuki hadn’t been going to his house a lot lately, but his parents were outside town for that night alone.
Haruka’s wheelchair was leaning against the wall, and Kazuki barely met his eyes the entire afternoon, which was the norm these days.
"...Sure."
Enta turned off the lights.
Then it was like a hundred billion things happened one after the other.
...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Kazuki was a name that held a multitude of meanings throughout his entire life.
The kind of word you cannot hear without raising your head and gripping your heart, because that was a word he could not get of his chest, no matter how he tried.
Well. It wasn’t a name he would force off his chest, but it wasn’t a name he thought of everyday anymore. Perhaps not even every week. If he was lucky, not even every month.
Also, it was just a word.
"How did you find out you like boys?"
There was a strong smell of nicotine because that other guy smoked too much, and the bed was a little too small for the two of them; So just laying there half naked was not completely comfortable.
"I had a crush"
He smirked.
"Well I found out when I tried practice kissing with my sister's boyfriend. I asked him to teach me and well, he did."
"That’s fucked up. Was he older?"
"Only by three years" he shrugged " How did your crush go?"
“...”
Even before that conversation started, he had vaguely remembered Kazuki that night.
The nicotine mixing with the weird detergent in the sheets had reminded him, for some stupid reason he didn’t care trying to figure out, of the strong, shitty smell of one of the shampoos in Kazuki’s house he opened once, trying to figure out which was the right one like the stupid kid he was.
It had been an eternity ago but he could suddenly feel that rotten scent under his nose as if it had been yesterday.
...Maybe he should pick up smoking too.
“We are still friends. He went to college elsewhere.”
"But did something happen between the two of you?"
"...I never told him."
"I see."
Enta was getting annoyed by this kind of conversation and wanted to bolt out as soon as possible. For a second he thought he might as well tell him the entire story, since he would probably never see that guy again, but didn’t really feel like it.
The sex was ok, probably; But he was done.
...
He gripped his nose trying to shake off these smells. The shitty scent of the shitty shampoo, of course; but also the correct one he bought late that same day, that smelled like the emptiest dullest disappointment.
He felt the same as he did at the end of that day.
Getting ready to bolt, he checked his phone. New messages.
Kazuki: ...enta? Are you there?
Kazuki:hey. I’ll be back at Tokyo this week. Do you want to do something?
...
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
You: h ey. Dd Kzki SMSED U?
Tooi: yeah
You: HE SAYS NTHING AT GROP CHAT THN HE SMS ISWER TO GOD KZKIII
Tooi: so you are drunk again.
You: no
You: mayb
You: just a bit ugh stp beng jdgementl
Tooi:theres nothing judgemental in my tone
You: EVRYTHEG U SAY SOUBDS JDGEMENTAL
Tooi: okay.
You: AAAAAA SEEE FCK UUU!!
Tooi: Is there someone there with you?
You: yeah im at tje cornr of a prty im nt so pathwtic to jst drink alone stop jydging me
Tooi: Are you with beard guy?
You:UGH FKC BRD GUY I DROOPED HM LST MONTH
Tooi: Oh
You: ughhhhhhh
You: ANYWY. KZKS COMING this weekend wll u be bxck sklready?
Tooi: No. Still taking care of some stuff out of town. Maybe the week after.
You: uggggggggggg ok. Nt like im nrvous it jst been a qile snce ive herd frm hm
You:*while
You: also knd of miss u （；へ：）
Tooi: Yeah you really are drunk, take some water right now please.
You: ⋋ _ ⋌
Tooi: are you doing it?
You: Ina mnrute i dnt fwwl s well
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Enta sometimes felt like he almost hated Kazuki.
It was not fair, but there was no denying it.
The holiness that his feelings for him contained one day, pure and perfect could easily became anxiety and devolve into resentment.
It already did back then, even if he would try and try again to convince himself it didn’t.
He did terrible things because of Kazuki.
Even if the last time Enta saw him they were all laughing, that had been a while. It had really been a while, and it was probably best that way, as it became a bit easier and easier not to think of him each day; Even if it felt like there were a hundred million things left unfinished.
Still, he could still remember what if felt to make a pass to him.
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
When Enta saw Kazuki again he was afraid he would be swept up by every single thing he felt once, a torrent of emotion like in the bad poetry a guy who was trying to bed him read one day, but he didn't.
It was still just his friend, Kazuki Yasaka, and not even his outrageous hot pink jacket made him feel that same fondness.
Kazuki smiled at him, looking a bit disheveled, with his hair clearly not brushed and the cords on his shoes untied. He wondered if he should point it out.
Don’t you want to kneel and tie it up for him?
A voice inside his head asked in the most unpleasant tone, and he shrugged it off.
"Enta! It’s so good to see you! Let’s go for ice cream!"
His voice still sounded the same
"Yeah. That place we went to closed, but I know a good one...Come on."
----
"You are getting pistachio and vanilla? Ah that’s so unlike you!"
"Yeah? What did you think I’d get."
"Something like strawberry, chocolate and blueberry; Mixing all those colors together, right?
These where Kazuki’s favorite flavors. He just went along then.
“And then put a loooot of syrup and sprinkle some confetti. You would always sprinkle a lot of these little stars."
Ah. It was true. He would do that.
"Well what are you getting?"
"I’m in a chocolate mood! But also- Ah! Look at that!"
He pointed at a poster. It was a banana split.
"Do you want to share that?"
“Kazuki...I already ordered mine.”
Ah. His mouth did a sad turn down.
The banana split did look good, actually. Perhaps better than what he ordered.
“It’s fine, I’ll cancel it.”
His mouth did the happy curve instead.
-
"Have you been talking to Tooi?" He asked
"I text Tooi everyday. You are in the group chat."
"Ahh...Sorry; I deleted that app for a while because I was a little...Caught up with some stuff. But I’ll download it again right away! Well how’s he doing?"
"Great. He might be scouted soon."
"...Sorry again...I think I might have been a bit of a mess lately."
Enta could read the self pity in Kazuki’s eyes, inviting him to comfort him desperately.
He took a bit at the banana split. It was really good, actually.
"I’m sorry about that. If you need anything..."
There was a small tv on the parlor, playing a comedy. They could hear the laugh tracks.
"Ah, no! It’s fine! I'm handling it! I’m even downloading the app again, see!"
"Yeah...I see it."
His eyebrows were still the same too, handsome and kind of cute. Enta had always liked his eyebrows.
"Tell me about your life Enta... Sorry I’ve been...Like that...Please, I...I really miss you and Tooi."
A particularly loud laugh track went by.
"Yeah...I do too...We do hang out whenever we can but his college is kind of far away too... We’ve been busy I guess...At least there’s the group chat."
"Which I’ll go back to using! So you’ve been busy huh? No time for a girlfriend?"
Well,
These were certainly words that came out of Kazuki’s mouth.
He put his hand to his stomach, and for an instant he remembered the marble of the floor of Kazuki's bathroom, and the shitty smell of his own vomits as the nausea overtook him.
Well. There it was. He could brush it off and say nothing, but he could also say something, and the thought that he had to make that choice at all irked him and made him sick all over again.
So fuck that.
“Kazuki. You know I’m gay, don’t you?”
Huh. That’s not how Enta would ever imagine coming out to him.
Kazuki blinks. Then smiles, like it’s not a big deal at all. Like it’s not a big deal at all.
“Ah sorry! I didn’t know. I’ve kissed guys in college too, you know?”
“Y-yeah?”
“Yeah...I’ve kissed some people, I suppose...It was not bad...But guess I don’t have the time to think much about these things right now...So...Do you have a boyfriend?
“No...”
“When did you f–“
Please don’t ask that question.
“-find out about it?”
He had been a little bit cold to Kazuki, hadn’t him? He hated that. He hated that so much he felt like he would start to cry at any moment now.
“Well? “
The name "Kazuki” meant a million different things through his life, from the perfect first beginning to where they were at that moment.
Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki Kazuki!!!!!
He could never feel as strongly for anyone as he did then!!
Kazuki was a curse put on him so he would never love like he did again, only see himself becoming increasingly cold, bitter and cynical through drunk kisses-
-And see the cherished memories of these warm intoxicating feelings mixed together with bile and anger, stolen plates and shitty shampoos.
But beyond all of that...
Beyond all of that...
"I don’t remember when I found out."
"Ah. But when was it more or less, I mean? Were you in college already?
Kazuki wore a hot pink jacket and bright green shoes. It was very Kazuki. Kazuki in a way that his memories could never quite replicate.
“I was younger. But you know...this banana split really is great.”
“It is isn’t it! I’m so glad you decided to share!”
Kazuki was still very Kazuki, the same one who used to show him cat videos and laugh at the memes he’d show him through break during most of his school years. That was the Kazuki he knew. The Kazuki who would hurt him again and again but also laugh at his jokes and hug him because Kazuki really did; really did care..
Distance made it easier to forget about Kazuki. But it also...
What did that name, Kazuki, mean to him now?
“...I miss being with you and Tooi too...Kazuki.”
“Yeah...I’ve been thinking of transferring around here...I’m not sure...I’m not sure of what I should do at all.”
Why did thinking of Kazuki still made him feel so-
Guilty-
It was fine by the end of high school; But then distance made these thoughts...
Kazuki at times was almost like a concept, that had infinite meanings, most of them which he could never quite grasp.
“Enta...Hey. Can I... Stay at your house tonight?”
He looked sheepishly at the floor.
“My parents and Haruka are abroad...And I don’t really want to be alone tonight.”
“...Of course...”
Kazuki laughed a terribly self-depreciating ha ha ha and that made his heart wince.
“This banana split really is great...Thank you....Enta. For sharing it with me.”
Enta was suddenly scared that if he were to say anything he would choke
“Kazuki...”
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
“Kazuki...”
“This is insane...We are really here at your room again...After all this time.”
He was still living with his grandma, but Otone had her own place now. And his grandma mostly did her own thing, so it was good. Not quite the most independent adult, but not doing that bad.
“Enta..." Kazuki said taking a cup of water from him. "You said you knew you were gay when you were younger. "Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“...I...”
“Did Tooi know?”
“...I don’t like talking about it much. Kazuki.”
He hated that these were the words that came out.
“Ah. I’m sorry. It’s just... I guess I thought I knew everything about you, back then.”
...That was such a Kazuki thing to say.
Kazuki who was sitting with his head on his knees, looking down.
“Do you ever know everything about anyone?”
“...My old miçanga. I still have it you know.”
“You do? I thought it was torn.”
“Yeah...But I still keep it. It’s on my suitcase.”
“Ah... I-I see.”
“Hey Enta... Are you mad at me?”
“N-no! Of course not!”
As he said that he turned around and felt his heart beating and beating and-
“You and Tooi must be so angry...You must hate me so much... I- I... I really never learn, now, do I-”
"Kazuki! Stop that, please! We care for you!“
“S-sorry.”
There were tears on Kazuki’s eyes that quickly became sobs; That soon joined in with snot through his nose and his body shivering all over.
“Kazuki!”
“Sorry!!”
“Kazuki, we could never hate you!! You know that! You know that!”
“I DON’T KNOW THAT! I don’t know anything!”
“Kazuki...”
He wanted to tell him that there was a time he loved him more than life itself.
He wanted to tell him a lot of things but he had no words at all so he went to his level and threw his arms around him.
“Enta...Enta...I...”
Enta hugged him tighter, and he still smelled so similarly as to what he always did back then...
As Kazuki choked on his sobs and trembled, Enta kept holding on.
“I could never hate you, Kazuki...You know that.”
“M-Maybe you should!”
“Stop that. You have always been such...Such an idiot.”
Kazuki laughed through the tears.
“Yeah! I know.”
“But also...You have always had...Such a kind heart...In a very pure way.”
“...W-what?”
“You were always kind just because you were...You didn’t even have to think about it.”
“I hurt you and Tooi countless times, how can yo-“
“I hurt you too...”
“But...”
“Even Tooi...But we’ll always be...Friends...Right?”
“You and Tooi?
“...The three of us. The... Golden trio, remember?”
He felt like someone else had been saying these words in his stead. The golden trio. These words felt so special, still...
“...Yeah.”
He seemed to have stopped crying, and now stared at a wall, quietly.
“Enta. Can I ask you something?”
"Of course."
“...Did you ever want to die?”
...
“...Yeah.”
“...I see. I...don’t want to have these thoughts again. Enta...I need help.
Kazuki...
Kazuki.....
Kazuki..........
For a moment, he was that kid again. And he felt like he had failed Kazuki so hard. He had one job, to make sure he never felt alone. He had one job, to be there by his side.
He had one job and he fucking screwed it up.
And now he should be ready to throw off his own heart, to grab it with his hands and give it to him if it would help.
To be by his side again; Platonic, helpful and constant, forever, so Kazuki would never have be alone. To do his job as it was intended and fulfill a purpose.
"K-"
“Kazuki...Have... You seen a therapist or... Something like that?”
“...No.”
“Maybe-“
“Yeah-I...I do want to get better...I see it now. I...I will.”
Those thoughts dissolved; That was not the way to help Kazuki. That was not the way to help himself.
“...Kazuki you know that you... You were my first real friend, then... If it was not for you then... I don’t even know where I would be, Kazuki. I don’t know if I would be here at all.”
“I didn’t do anything! I liked you, so you were my friend.”
“Everyone hated me Kazuki! Only you...”
“I don’t think everyone hated you.”
“No, they just thought I was a disgusting loser.”
“Disgusting? Enta...That’s...”
That’s how he felt then, at least. An untouchable worm who could do nothing but watch from afar.
He only got to know Kazuki when he was ten; That was a long time feeling like a worm. And then, after Kazuki, the fact that a worm like him, had the nerve to also...
To also...
GOD HE WAS DISGUSTING-
“You were a nice kid who liked soccer a lot. You didn’t know how to play yet, but you knew much more about the players than I did, so I really liked talking to you...I just liked being with you. I still do.”
Enta’s mind was spinning, and he realized he couldn’t breathe he couldn’t breathe he couldn’t breathe at all, and he put his hand on the wall for support.
Disgustingdisgustingdisgustingfdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgusting
Like throwing up and-
Like kissing close-eyed Kazuki that one time and licking his recorder, like doing anything to feel closer to him, to press his jersey against his heart and then smell it-
disgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgustingdisgusting
Like even imagining, even imagining kissing Kazuki, how dared him; How dared him;
“You know I...You know I kissed you back then.”
Kazuki looked at him and Enta saw the subtle shifts on his face and the movement on his eyebrows as realization dawned on him.
He didn’t need to say anything.
Of course it wasn’t a soccer dare.
“Ah.”
...
“Guess I... Am not the most perceptive person in the world, right?”
“NO YOU ARE NOT!”
He suddenly smiled in a weirdly fond way.
“Ah. I missed you speaking that loudly.”
“T-t-that's the stupidest thing you said all day!”
“...Enta...You are not...And you never were disgusting at all..."
Enta knew that. At some level.
There were lots of levels.
“Yeah...Thanks.”
“No...Thank you. You have always been...Such a good friend to me.”
There were tears building up on the corner of Kazuki's eyes again, and Enta realized that it was the same with him.
Ah.
It had been a while since he had really cried while sober. And that was a depressing thought to have...
“Kazuki... I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I am SO sorry!!!”
“Enta! There’s no reason to...”
“I...”
He shook his head, unable of saying anything else.
The tears were flowing freely, for both of them, and he didn’t stop sobbing when Kazuki hugged him. Pressing his forehead in Kazuki’s shoulder, he still didn’t stop, and soon they were both bawling hysterically.
“L-l-look at us...” Kazuki said between whimpers “If T-tooi saw us...”
“He’d cry too!!!” Enta managed to say chokingly. “He’d cry too! I’m sure...I’m sure of it”
Kazuki laughed and he did too.
“You are one of the most precious people in my life.” Kazuki said. “I am sorry I don’t say it enough.”
...
Enta uglysobbed again, and the two of them kept uglysobbing all night long, pausing to breathe deeply at regular intervals and say the stupidest nothings that would make each other snicker like 12 years olds.
----
Kazuki: hey guys! Got these new socks! Reminded me of you!
He sends a picture of a kappa imprinted sock in the group chat.
Tooi:nice
You:lame
Kazuki:hey!
You: JK
You: (♡ >ω< ♡)
You:love those!
Kazuki:i might be able to go to tokyo again this weekend!! Will you be busy? Can’t wait to see you guys again!
You: we will be waiting! (ง `ω´) ง
Tooi then sent a picture of the last time the three of them were together, last month, at that ice cream shop sharing another banana split.
Enta clicked on the pic and zoomed in.
His own hair looked like a mess, so he winced. But he had a nice smile, so not bad at all. Otone was good at fixing these things maybe he’d ask for her help to make it the perfect profile pic 10/10.
He moved on to Kazuki, who was making a peace sign with the brightest smile in the world, because he always did have the most contagious smile.
At last, Enta zoomed on Tooi. Who looked quite okay, with a hairclip.
Yeah. Maybe more than ok.
He zoomed in a bit more, and there was a bit of a possibility that Tooi was blushing just slightly on that pic. And there was just the tiniest possibility that he was....
Looking at Enta.
He put his phone down and looked at the ceiling; His heart was beating faster, but not in such a bad way. Not such a bad way, really.
He had been realizing the weirdest things these days. He would hang out with Tooi, talk in the group chat, then live exactly as he always did and yet realize the weirdest things; as if the old sun was gone forever and everything was now under a whole different light.
He put his hand to his heart. If his heart was frozen, then there would be things he wouldn’t need to think about.
But it was okay to think about these things, now.
He grabbed his phone and texted Tooi, asking if he wanted to do something later that day.
--
Some time later the three of them would lazily walk around the streets as the sun started to fade. Kazuki walked ahead of them, and turned around laughing.
"I really do love you guys!” He took a bite of his cucumber, moving his feet as if dancing, already practicing for the karaoke.
Tooi looked at Enta and offered his hand, like a gentleman, and he took it.
They reached Kazuki who was smiling the brightest, still.