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Neal parked his car in Brooke's driveway, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles were white. He didn't understand this weird, fatalistic sense of dread hanging over him, but...yeah.
He'd gone to the home of an acquaintance the night before, because she had been scared and hurt and alone...he'd been there himself, he knew the feelings well, and he didn't ever want anyone else to feel the same way...so he'd left.
And he'd left Brooke a message.
But...
God, he couldn't shake that dread.
Inhaling deeply, he forced himself to let go of the steering wheel, and pushed himself out of his car, plodding slowly up the walk to her door, his feet heavy and leaden. Mounting the stairs, he paused a moment with his keys in his hand, and then knocked softly instead, not sure what the reception would be.
Brooke hadn't slept since the day before. She had been on an overnight flight back to LA to come home only to find the message from Neal.
She knew that she shouldn't be jealous...but she couldn't stop that little voice in the back of her head.
How gorgeous Alisan was...how she had all the guys falling over her... She was trying to be understanding... She couldn't blame Neal for wanting to help - that's just how Neal was...
But why? Why Neal?
Brooke sighed and got up to pour another cup of coffee. She opened the back door for Einstein to go out and do his business, and leaned against the porch railing, wishing she could just push away the negative feelings that she was having...
Neal waited a few moments, but nobody came to the door, not even Einstein... Chewing his lip hard, he tried the knob -- locked. He looked down at the keys in his hand again and pulled hers out, slipping it into the lock, wondering absently if he would be asked to return it at the end of the day...
He shook his head violently to clear it of those thoughts. 'No, Tiemann...' he told himself firmly. 'Don't start with that self-defeating bullshit. Brooke isn't Alexis. Just...keep talking to her. Keep talkin' to each other. That's all you can do...'
He swung the door inward carefully, half-expecting Brooke to greet him with a frying pan to the head... No sign of her or her pup, but the scent of coffee hung heavily in the air, so she was there... "Hello?" he called out quietly, entering the front hall and closing the door softly behind him. "...Anyone here?"
Brooke heard Neal inside the house and she turned, peeking her head in the door with a soft smile. "Hey...we're out here... You want to grab yourself a coffee and come out and join us?" she asked softly. She let out a breath of relief at the realization that he had come here, to her...
"...Hey," Neal greeted her back, an answering smile tugging at his lips. "...Yeah...coffee would be... Be right out..." he mumbled, entering the kitchen to pull down his usual mug from the shelf, pausing slightly when he realized he had something there that could even be termed his 'usual mug'. Shaking his head slightly, he filled it up and headed to the back door, letting himself out.
Brooke sat down on the steps, holding her coffee in her hands as she watched Einstein run around, chasing a butterfly. She had no idea what to say, or how to say it... She was just...stuck.
Neal bit his lip hard, studying Brooke from the doorway. She didn't look very happy...
...Fuck. He'd done that. He'd done it, again.
He approached her cautiously, seating himself beside her on the same step, leaving a little distance between her so she wouldn't feel smothered, and he raised the mug slowly to his lips, taking a half-hearted sip.
Brooke let out a soft sigh and scooted closer to Neal, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "Is everything okay?"
Neal's breath caught in his throat as his eyes closed, and he leaned back into Brooke, drawing on her strength. "God, I don't really know..." he murmured, turning his head to nuzzle her hair, reacquainting himself with her scent.
He let out a soft sigh into Brooke's hair, tentatively slipping his arm around her waist. "Alisan saw me online, after you had gone t'bed last night...her ex-boyfriend had shown up the night before..." His breath hitched again, slightly, and he had to force himself to keep breathing, to keep going...
"...He roughed her up a bit," he continued, soft and hoarse. "She was...scared. She was alone. I know how that feels... I just...I didn't want her t'feel that, didn't want her t'think she was alone, that no one cared...I just..." His voice trailed off as he shuddered, trying very hard not to see the images trying to force their way into his mind from his childhood. "...Wanted t'help," he whispered softly, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.
Brooke sighed and bit her lip. "I know... I just... Why didn't she call the cops...?" She trailed off, not wanting to bring up the rest of her insecurities.
"I don't know," Neal admitted softly. "I didn't ask..." He sighed, leaning away from her a little bit. "...Maybe she just didn't want to admit to herself that someone she loved was capable of bein' a criminal."
Brooke's heart clenched when she felt Neal pull away. She closed her eyes and gripped her coffee cup a little tighter. "Why didn't she call Mike...or Dave?" she asked, leaving off the obvious, "why did she call you?"
"...I don't know," he had to admit again, letting his head hang. "I wish I did." He swallowed hard over the lump building in his throat.
Brooke sat there quietly looking out at the yard at Einstein. "I know that she needed someone...but I can't help but feel jealous that she called you," she said softly, trying desperately not to sound spiteful, "...when she has Mike...and Dave...and even Andy...at her beck and call."
Neal set his mug to the side and turned to face Brooke, studying her profile quietly.
...Shit.
Shit, shit, shit...
"...I don't know why she did, Brooke...but when she did..." He paused a moment, inhaling deeply before letting it out with a gusty sigh. "Couldn't just leave it, y'know? I had t'do somethin', had t'help... I got her to agree to stay with Kira for a while...that's a start..."
Brooke nodded as she felt the burn of tears in her throat and eyes. "I know...and I'm glad that you helped her... I just... I'm sorry I'm acting like this...there is no reason for it," she said, trying to push it all away.
Neal watched her lower lip start to tremble, and his heart caught in his throat. Oh God, no...please...
He shifted closer to her on the step, pressing his leg against hers, placing a hand lightly and carefully on her knee. "Brooke...please...talk to me..." he whispered, his voice so tight in his throat that his words came out closer to a whimper.
Brooke swallowed and took a deep breath. "I don't know why I feel like this..." she whispered. "When I read your message, I just walked in the door...and all I could think about was that you had stayed there with her...and just her...and I see how beautiful she is...and..." She trailed off, not wanting to admit that she was afraid that he would leave her...just like Dave had.
Neal frowned slightly, shaking his head. "I didn't, though..." he whispered. "I was there with her maybe an hour...and I took her to Kira's...and I came home...."
Brooke nodded. "I know that now...but I didn't then," she whispered. She finally looked up at him.
"...Oh, God..." Neal breathed out softly, reaching up to cup her cheek. "...Brooke, no..." He bit down hard on his lower lip, fighting back the tears welling up in his own eyes. "No, sweetheart, I would never do that to you..." he choked out hoarsely, shaking his head. "You're the one I..." his voice faltered slightly as his breath hitched hard. "...You're the one I care about, Brooke...I want t'be with you, nobody else..."
Brooke nodded as the tears spilled out of her eyes. "I'm sorry...it just got stuck in my head, and then it was morning when I got the message and I hadn't heard from you yet...and she had guys falling over her all the time...and I'm just plain old me," she whispered, all of her insecurities spilling out.
Neal immediately wrapped her up in a tight bear hug, burying his face in her hair. "No, Brooke...God, you're so fuckin' beautiful...don't ever talk about yourself like that, okay?" His voice was choked with emotion as he swallowed a sob. "I just want you...no one else..."
Brooke sat her coffee cup down and folded herself into Neal's arms. "I just want you too..." she whispered, as the tears slipped down her face, making Neal's shirt wet.
"I'm yours, Brooke!" Neal choked out hoarsely, clinging to her tightly. "Yours..."
Brooke held back just as tight, and then let out a choked, soft laugh. "We are ridiculous..." she whispered. "I'm sorry... You are just more than I ever deserve to have...and sometimes, I just...I wonder when someone better is going to come along and take you away."
"God, Brooke..." Neal whimpered, burying his face against her neck. "You deserve t'be loved, just like everyone else..." His breath hitched yet again, and he shuddered in her arms, pressing a kiss to her throat, and whispered fiercely, "No one is gonna take me away from you, ever!"
Brooke let out a soft breath and nodded, holding tight to Neal. She had to believe it. She couldn't bear to think of what would happen if it weren't true...what it would feel like to have her heart broken again.
Neal squeezed his eyes tightly shut, feeling the tears finally spill over.
Brooke finally pulled back slightly. "Do you want to go and lay down for a little bit...?" The exhaustion was starting to hit her, and she knew that Neal hadn't been to sleep yet either - she could tell by the dark circles under his eyes.
"Yeah..." Neal whimpered softly, slowly letting his grip on her loosen. He sat back and picked up his coffee mug automatically, not really seeing anything as he climbed to his feet and stood there waiting for her.
Brooke looked at Neal, leaning into him. "Are we okay?" she whispered.
Neal raised his head and looked at her, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to keep it from trembling. "Yes, Brooke...please..." he breathed out in a faint whimper, trying to suppress the shiver that crawled down his spine.
Brooke nodded and pulled Neal tightly to her, curling herself into his arms. "M'sorry," she mumbled into his chest.
"Me too..." Neal whimpered, crushing her against him. "Should've called you first...I'm so sorry, Brooklyn..."
Brooke shook her head. "Come on...let's get to bed...we're both exhausted..." she whispered, leading him down the hallway.
Neal nodded agreement, stumbling slightly alongside of Brooke as she led him to the bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed, tugging weakly at his boots to remove them.
Brooke pushed Neal back on the bed and bent down, pulling his boots off, then reaching up and quickly undoing his jeans. She pulled them off and they joined the boots on the floor. She stood back up and looked at Neal. "Shirt off."
Neal swallowed hard and slowly pushed up to a sitting position, staring at Brooke with wide, dark eyes and lips parted. "'Kay..." he breathed out, gripping the hem of his t-shirt and drawing it slowly up and over his head.
Brooke smiled softly and stripped down as well, leaving herself in her tank top and underwear. She pulled the blankets back and waited for Neal to get under them.
Neal slid beneath the blankets, squirming toward the middle of the bed, his eyes on her and never straying.
Brooke moved so that she could tuck herself into Neal's arms. "Love you...and I missed you this weekend. My parents are excited to meet you... I showed them the pictures of us on the beach," she whispered, wanting to think of happier times with him.
Neal tightened his arms around Brooke immediately, choking back a sob as he buried his face in Brooke's neck. "Love you too, Brooke...so much..." he whispered hoarsely. "An' I missed you too..." He swallowed thickly, pulling his face out of her neck, and gave her a small smile. "...You showed them pictures of me?" he murmured. "They didn't run screaming, or try to drag you t'the shrink, or anything?"
Brooke smiled softly and ran her hand through his hair. "They are really accepting people when it comes to people wanting to be individuals... And my dad is obsessed with tattoos, even though he's a chicken and won't get one..." she smiled softly.
Neal smiled back, his eyes closing as he pressed his head up toward her hand. "...Guess I have a Mormon mission, then, so to speak...?" he joked lightly.
Brooke laughed softly. "Maybe... You think that you'd be up to meeting them?"
Neal considered the question for all of two seconds before nodding slowly. "Sure," he murmured, opening his eyes. "Love to."
Brooke smiled and then leaned in slowly, never shutting her eyes. "Thank you." She pressed her lips softly to Neal's before she pulled back slightly, just watching him.
Neal blinked his eyes open slowly, studying her face quietly.
Brooke leaned back and settled onto the pillow beside Neal. "What are you thinking?"
"...How lucky I am t'have you..." Neal answered quietly.
Brooke leaned in again and kissed him softly. "I'm the lucky one."
Neal reached up and cupped Brooke's cheek gently, pulling her back in for another slow kiss, taking his time to explore her mouth thoroughly.
Brooke leaned into the kiss. "Missed you..." she whispered against his lips.
"Missed you too...so much..." Neal murmured back, threading his fingers into Brooke's hair as he pressed closer to her. "...Can't believe how much I wanted t'be with you..."
Brooke let out a soft sigh. "You should have come...you would have been more than welcome..." she whispered.
"Yeah, should have..." Neal whispered softly. "...Next time?"
Brooke nodded. "Next time for sure."
Neal nodded slightly. "...Okay."
Brooke curled back down into Neal's arms. "Sleep... It will be better when we wake up later, and I'll fix us something to eat."
Neal closed his eyes and swallowed hard, tightening his arms reflexively around her. "'Kay..." he mumbled softly. "...Night..."
Brooke yawned and let herself completely relax into Neal's arms. "Love you," she whispered as her eyes closed.
"Love you too..." Neal breathed out in reply, just before falling asleep.
Neal lifted the lids on the pots on the stove, stirring them both carefully. It was almost time for Brooke to be home...everything had to be perfect.
Waking up had been...awkward. Strained. Both of them had still been charged with negative emotions from the night before, and neither had had much to say to the other besides monosyllables, which scared him more than he cared to admit.
He loved Brooke. He wanted Brooke. He wanted to be with her, and only her...but he had no idea how to convince her. He just had to...show her, somehow...
He'd left her house reluctantly, but necessarily, to see to his houseguest; and had received a text from her not long afterward - she was recording the webisode for 'Girls with Glasses' today, and wouldn't be done until at least six o'clock...
A plan began to formulate in his mind.
A quick phone call to his best friend, and several of the local florists, and the plan was in motion. He dragged Andy to the market with him, picking his brain about wine selections, and then dragged Andy's ass back to Brooke's, sweet-talking him into dog-sitting so Neal could have Brooke and the house to himself.
He'd gone about preparing the house, then, wanting it all to be perfect. He answered the door several times that afternoon, accepting the large floral deliveries from people who surely thought he was insane, but he just didn't care. Candles were placed carefully on nearly every available horizontal surface, and lit just before he started cooking dinner, allowing them to settle and begin perfuming the air, their scents mingling with the flowers placed around the house.
He tasted the spaghetti sauce and shifted it off the heat. Draining the spaghetti noodles, he dumped them into a bowl with a small amount of olive oil, and set out the freshly-grated parmesan cheese on the table beside it.
He checked his watch and let out a soft curse, scooting to dish out the spaghetti sauce and get it on the table. He stepped back and assessed the scene. Candles...wine...roses and daisies and carnations and lilies in vases, everywhere you turned...rose petals forming a carpeted trail from the door to the kitchen to the bedroom...rose petals in a blanket on the bed...and her favorite dinner - spaghetti with meatballs and meat sauce, from scratch...perfect.
Plucking a rose from the nearest rose-and-daisy bouquet, he headed into the living room and settled on the couch, waiting for her to come home.
Brooke finally slipped into her car and headed home. She just wanted to go home and collapse into her bed and then call Neal...maybe have him come over...
She missed him, so much; and hated how they had left things the night before. She had felt off the entirety of the day, so much so that even Summer had pulled her aside when Brooke had first gotten to her house and had asked what was going on. Brooke had just skimmed over what had happened, and then thrown herself into trying to paste on a smile and get through the episode for their 'Girls with Glasses' show.
And now she was in the car heading home to her puppy.
She pulled into the driveway and turned off the car, tiredly slipping out and heading for the front door. She slipped her key into the lock and opened the door.
The smell of the candles and flowers hit her instantly, and she gasped in shock at the transformation that had happened while she had been gone.
Hearing her key in the lock, Neal drew a quiet breath and held it, chewing his lower lip as he fiddled nervously with the rose in his hand. He looked up as Brooke swung the door open, swallowing hard and offering her a slightly tentative smile. "...Hey," he said softly, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Brooke shut the door behind her and then turned to Neal. She could feel her eyes filling with tears as she bit her bottom lip. She tried to smile tentatively, but all she managed to do was throw herself into his arms and bury her head in his neck. "Love you... You are so, so amazing," she whispered.
Neal's breath caught in his throat as his own tears threatened to overwhelm him. He caught Brooke as she fell into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Love you too," he whispered hoarsely back, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. "Love you so much, Brooke..."
Brooke nodded and held tight to Neal before she pulled back slightly, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Do I smell spaghetti too?" she whispered, her stomach growling softly, and she smiled. She hadn't eaten all day...too much on her mind.
Neal nodded slowly, reaching up to run his hand gently through Brooke's hair. "Yup...spaghetti. Made spaghetti sauce with meatballs, too..." he replied softly, standing and threading his fingers through hers, pulling her gently over the trail of rose petals toward the kitchen.
Brooke smiled and ducked her head. "I can't believe you did all of this. This is...just amazing."
Neal smiled sheepishly as he pulled her chair out from the table for her, waiting for her to be seated. "I'm not always so good with words..." he confessed softly. "Sometimes, I'm just better off showing it, instead."
Brooke sat down in the chair and leaned into Neal's arm. "You are perfect with both - don't ever think otherwise."
Neal blushed faintly and nodded, pushing Brooke's chair in gently before pouring her some wine and plating up her dinner, making sure she got the best of everything he could give her. Setting the plate mounded high with spaghetti and meatballs in front of her, Neal scooped out his own food, sprinkling everything liberally with parmesan cheese. "Hope this is good..." he murmured under his breath, and stared down at the food in front of him.
Brooke smiled and took a bite of the meatball with some spaghetti on the fork and closed her eyes at the taste. " Oh...this is amazing," she whispered. "Really good." She was beaming.
Neal blushed even deeper at her praise, ducking his head with a smile as he brought his first forkful to his mouth. Damn, she was right...not bad for a rank beginner, Tiemann...
Brooke took another bite and then took a sip of the wine. She usually didn't drink wine. It was okay...but she would rather have water or tea. "You are sooo in charge of spaghetti night from now on," she smiled. She looked around, noticing for the first time since she had walked in the door: "Where's Einstein?"
"Andy's place," Neal admitted softly, sucking lightly on a lip ring as he reached for his own wine. "Kind of didn't want things to get messed up, what with all the candles, and flowers, and petals everywhere..."
Brooke smiled. "Ahh. Yeah...that was a really good idea."
Before long, she was taking the last bite of her dinner, and she let out a content sigh as she pushed back from the table with a satisfied smile. "I am sooo full."
Neal exhaled a soft breath, and gave her a crooked smile of his own. "Coffee?" he asked softly, cocking his head.
Brooke leaned back and nodded. "Yeah...that sounds wonderful."
Neal got up and hit the "brew" button on her coffee maker, then came back over to Brooke and took her hands, pulling her gently to her feet. "Come sit with me on the couch..." he murmured, leading her to the living room. He took a seat on the couch and patted the cushion beside him with a smile.
When she took her seat beside him, he leaned over and, lifting her feet into his lap, began to massage her feet, one at a time.
Brooke let her head rest on the pillow, her arm covering her eyes as she moaned softly in appreciation at the tension melting away from her entire body via her feet. "That feels so good," she whispered.
Neal smiled to himself, raising one of her legs up to press soft kisses along the top of her foot.
Brooke looked down at Neal and smiled softly. How did she ever get so lucky to have someone that was so willing to take those extra steps to make up for something that they were both a part of? She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, and she took a deep breath, willing them away.
The scent of coffee wafted out of the kitchen just before the machine beeped quietly. With a soft smile, he carefully placed Brooke's feet down on the floor, and leaned across her to kiss her. "Be right back," he whispered, and headed to the kitchen to pour them both a cup.
He carefully added just the right amount of sugar to Brooke's mug, and poured in the creamer that she loved, stirring it slowly clockwise with a faint smile. Picking up the mugs, he padded into the living room, and set them down on the coffee table.
Brooke heard the clinks of the coffee cups being sat down on the table and she smiled at the smell of her coffee made just the right way. She was in heaven...that was the only explanation she could come up with. She sat up slowly and picked up her cup, taking a small sip of the hot liquid.
"Perfect," she whispered.
Neal grinned to himself and sipped from his own mug, feeling the liquid settle in his stomach. "I'm glad you think so..." he murmured, and laid a hand lightly over her own with a slow wink. "But just wait 'till you see what I did to the bedroom."