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One day, Sakutaro Morishige woke up and came to a very simple and obvious (in his own mind) conclusion: he was not good enough for Mayu Suzumoto.
Why she took an interest in him, he didn't know – but he did know one thing, and that was that she deserved better. Mayu was everything to him, and yet he deserved none of the sort.
What if he hurt her? She was far too fragile, too kind, and too innocent. He loved for her these things, and yet, they also hurt his insides because she was everything that he wasn't.
He was hardened, distant, and awkward. Even if he tried to socialize, it didn't seem to work out very well, and eventually he gave up. So, why…why, Mayu?
--
Feelings of self-pity enveloped him like an illness. Even though he loved her dearly, and he needed her, one day, he felt he would hurt her; somehow. It was simply his way, and as they were polar opposites personality-wise, this was only a matter of time, he felt. In that respect, he was doing Mayu a favor – and himself, he attempted to reason.
Morishige would rather die than hurt Mayu. He had seen Mayu with tear-filled eyes before, and he was absolutely certain he never wanted to see it again; especially by his own doing.
“Shige-nii!”
He stiffened at the sound of her voice, knowing this was inevitable as they always walked together to school in the morning. When he didn't respond, he saw her peer into his face, a slight worry in her features.
“Shige-nii, did something happen? If something bad happened, maybe we could go get some ice-cream after school, huh? My treat!” She had hopped in front of him now, grinning happily with her arms stretched out.
She wanted a hug. He hadn't said a word to her and she was already going to treat him to ice-cream and then proceeded to want to comfort him with a hug and a smile. It was too much. Why someone would place such an absolutely perfect young woman in his grasp was beyond his comprehension. He didn't deserve any of this.
“Sorry. I’d like it…if you left me alone, Mayu. Spend time with your other friends, okay? You don’t need me. You’ll be alright,” he quickly brushed past her in what would seem like a cold manner to a passerby, but Morishige’s thoughts were quite the opposite; he was screaming in agony to turn around and tell her to forget what he just said.
“Shige-nii…whatever happened to you…it won’t change a thing between us. Not ever!”
She was calling out from behind now having initially been stunned and unable to move. She soon found her feet and he could hear her huffing as her tiny body ran as fast as it could with his tall stature playing against her. This simply made it more painful; he was going to have to be more forceful than he expected.
They walked in what Morishige expected to be silence, however Mayu was acting as though nothing had changed. She talked about her night, her parents, homework, classes, and the day’s drama activities. By the time they had reached the school, she was still going on.
“Today’s activity was something really deep, and I thought maybe we could pair up since it’s a two person sk—“
“No. Please leave me alone, Mayu. I’m not interested in you or your friendship any longer.”
Turning on his heel, he walked away with a heavy heart. Truly, this seemed to be making matters worse, and yet he couldn't bring himself to turn around and tell her it was all a lie. His self-pity had become too great – his thoughts of her too perfect. In comparison, there was simply no reason she should waste her time with him, and he needed her to understand that.
--
Days had passed, and Morishige grew more and more miserable, whilst Mayu grew more and more unbreakable. She had called numerous times to which he immediately sent them to voicemail – her messages always cheery, saying that she would be waiting for him once he felt better.
At school, she went out of her way to help him – still walking with him and chattering despite his utter silence, still sitting with him at lunch, and even still insisting to partner in Drama Club.
--
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't care what or who he was, or for that matter, that they were completely different. From the start, he had known that he needed Mayu, and as it turned out, she didn't seem to mind. He was truly impressed with her unbreakable spirit and was touched by her on-going cherishment of their friendship.
He lay in bed, staring at a dark ceiling. The moonlight was starting to splay in, but he knew that she would still be up, probably sewing something for the next Club performance. He smiled at the thought.
Taking out his phone, he clicked in her number. There was no chance to hang up, as she picked up on the first ring. He could tell that she was attempting to sound as cheerful as usual, but when he heard the relief in her voice, his heart hurt when he realized he had practically done to her what he had vowed not to do. He had hurt her.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” What else could he say?
“You don’t ever have to be sorry to me, Shige-nii,” she whispered, a genuine tone.
“Why, Mayu? Why aren't you angry with me? You’re…an idealistic and upright individual. You are…the kindest, and you have many friends as a result. I just don’t understand why it’s me.”
“…Well, because you’re Shige-nii,” her voice was matter-of-fact, as if this were an obvious statement.
“I don’t understand.”
“Shige-nii…if you weren't you, who would I rely on? Who would walk me to school every single day? Who would listen to every little insignificant thing that I say? Who would listen to me cry about my parents at 1 am in the morning? Most importantly…who would love me, and,” a voice drop, but he heard, nonetheless, “…who would I love?”
Her voice trembled slightly at the end, and he was speechless. He had known she cared, but to care so much…
“I’m not…the right choice, Mayu. I’m sure…you could find someone else with those qualities and be happy with him.”
“Nope,” she again said it so matter-of-factually that he almost wanted to laugh aloud.
“’Nope’?”
“Silly Shige-nii. There’s nobody else in the world that can do any of those things. There’s nobody else in the world for me but you, so I think you have to suck it up.”
“S-suck it up…?”
“We’re together now because you allowed yourself to open to me and to me in return. From then…well, I’m sorry; Shige-nii, but I can’t let you off the hook. I’m quite certain we’re going to marry.”
Yet again, she rendered him speechless as her tone held no hidden meaning or humor.
“Marry?” Had he heard correctly? Did a female his age just specifically mention that she wanted to spend her life with him one day? Was he perhaps not as dis-likable as he had thought?
“Don’t you want to?” A sudden disappointment and he had to fix it.
“I can’t imagine anything better,” he had thought this so suddenly that it had tumbled out of his mouth before he had time to register what it was he was saying. His face instantly flushed.
“It’s settled then!” A completely different tone from the utter disappointment a moment ago – had she been feigning it to get him to answer? He couldn't help but smile at her cleverness.
“You’re positive?”
“I’m going to be Mrs. Mayu Morishige one day! I think it sounds sooo~ cute! Maybe I should practice my signature already?”
“Mayu…”
He realized what she had done. Knowing he was in a slump, she had completely shifted the topic to something she knew would grab his attention. In the process though, he noted that Mayu was no liar – he had a strange feeling she was very serious about this. Just hearing her possible future name tumble from her lips made his stomach hop about with excitement.
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“When someone cares about you, Shige-nii, you don’t have to thank them. They do what they do…well…because they love you! So…there’s no need. Just…remember to pick me up tomorrow, okay? It was…a little scary having to walk to the Intersection to find you by myself…”
Sudden guilt hit him like a ton of bricks. Oh, god. He had never considered that – one of the reasons he had insisted upon picking her up from her home was that she was a female, and a very, very tiny female at that. It would be quite easy for an attacker to overpower her.
“I promise I’ll be there. …I’m so excited, I might be there a little earlier than usual.” Emotions came so naturally with Mayu. He couldn't imagine saying that to anyone else in the world.
“I might be ready a little earlier than usual, too…so don’t you dare forget, Shige-nii!”
“How could I possibly forget about my wife-to-be?” More emotions, hot as fire, gushing forth – so much love for one person.
“S-Shige-nii! I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow, then! Don’t forget that our names are going be linked one day, and then you’ll have to treat me to ice-cream, hubby!”
When the call ended, Morishige stared at his phone for a long while, his heart and stomach doing odd little dances with one another. Two things were for certain, he had learned, after this entire ordeal:
1) Whenever he was on a self-pity campaign, he knew he would have Mayu’s unbreakable spirit there to slap him back into focus.
2) One day in the future, he was going to marry that girl.