Chapter Text
"Are you sure that's enough clothing?" Sozui was frowning. "Will he be warm enough?" He peered down at his son, who obligingly kicked his legs at his father, eyes wide. They'd been a murky gray-yellow at birth but were already starting to brighten into his mother's unmistakable pale gold.
Meili held Lozan's foot gently as she wrestled the thick woolen snowsuit onto it. "We grew up here and managed to survive just fine, you know." She took Sozui's hand in hers and guided it over. "Here you are, just squish him inside and we'll put on his outer hat and he's good to go." She stepped back and reached down to Tarra, who was trying to pluck at the strings of her own hat, round face creased in concentration. "No, we have to leave the hat on, sugarbun. Mama knows it's hot, we'll be outside soon."
"Won't his face be cold?" Sozui's own face gentled as the baby crowed up at him, gurgling and showing off his single lower tooth. His gums were pretty red; she was guessing the one next to it would erupt at any time.
"He'll be fine." She was grateful that Tupilek was as calm about fatherhood as he was with everything else in his life. She had no idea how her sister, of all people, could put up with all of Sozui's constant nagging worry. Earlier in the week he'd made such a fuss over the simple rice porridge that LoLo was making for both Lozan and Tarra that LoLo had snapped at him, startling them all and causing Lin, thin-lipped and grim, to escort Sozui out of the kitchen.
He needed something else to do besides worry about his wife.
"Make me a shovel, Auntie S! Make me a shovel!" Linyi ran into the room, breathless with laughter, Sayuri on her heels. "Mama! Auntie S says if I don't put my mittens on she's gonna make me a snow shovel and scoop up all the snow with my mouth!" Sayuri grabbed her by the back of her snowsuit and dangled her, making shoveling motions.
"Better put those mittens on, then." She smiled at her eldest, who wriggled out of Sayuri's arms to yank at her jacket.
"Mama, hurry up! Hurry up!"
"We have to finish getting cousin Lozan dressed, we're going out very soon."
Linyi ran to Sozui. "Uncle Zui! Hurry up!"
He smiled down at her, fumbling with one of the armholes. "Why, is the snow going somewhere?"
"Snow snow snow snow snow snow snow!" Linyi danced around the room and Tarra attempted to follow her, her lurching steps hampered by the thickness of her own snowsuit. "Mama, I can bend it, okay?"
"Outside, you know the rules." She kept herself from taking over the dressing of the baby. Sozui needed to learn.
"Let's go now!"
"Alright, you little snowball, we'll meet your mother and Uncle Zui in the park." Sayuri scooped up Tarra and settled her on her hip. "You can come too, Miss Tarralikitak, how about that?" She bestowed a particularly juicy raspberry on her niece's cheek.
"Bah, bah," Tarra replied enthusiastically, whacking Sayuri in the chin. "Bah, bah, uhbuhbah!"
"Well, no need to punch me over it," Sayuri laughed. "Is her sled out front?"
"Yes. Thanks, Button."
Sayuri winked at her before putting a hand to the back of Linyi's head and guiding her out the door. "All hail the conquering snowbenders, rulers of the park and avengers of their evil foes, the dirty pigeon rats!"
"Yeah, dirty pigeon rats! DIRTY PIGEON RATS!" Linyi bellowed, and she winced slightly, waiting.
"Linyi Hou-Ting! Royalty does not shout indoors," called her father from downstairs as expected, disregarding his own decree. "Dirty pigeon rats! My gracious!"
"Like that ever stopped any of you from shouting anywhere." Sozui snorted. "I think this top button thing is strangling him."
"Let me see it." She doubted it was; Lozan, unlike Tarra, was a relatively slender baby. Tarra had fat rolls on top of fat rolls, something which apparently Tupilek had had as well, according to her mother-in-law. "No, it's fine. It needs to be snug but it's not choking him." She wrapped an arm around Sozui. "He's fine, Sozui. He's just fine."
"Sorry."
She squeezed his shoulder briefly before easing the snowsuit's thick hood over the cotton cap already tied over Lozan's head, tying the strings and chucking him under the chin. "Now you're ready to go!"
"I...I guess I should ask Naoki again if she wants to go out." He picked up the baby and held him close to his chest.
She put a hand to his arm. "You've asked her three times already. Let's just take the baby out now, he can use the fresh air." Sozui nodded and followed her downstairs, putting Lozan into the brand new pram her father had immediately ordered the day after Naoki had arrived with him.
"Well now, isn't he snug as a bug in a rug," Papa said, coming towards them, beaming. He leaned down and kissed Lozan's cheek, chuckling as the baby kicked enthusiastically. "Oh, you're happy now, but Gumpa knows how firebenders get in the snow!" He turned to her, lowering his voice so that Sozui, struggling into his own unfamiliar winter gear, couldn't overhear. "Naoki wouldn't come?" At the single shake of her head he sighed. "Well, I can at least take her some tea."
She nodded in return as she settled on her own hat and mittens. "Alright, shall we?" She opened the door and gestured Sozui through, the tracks of Tarra's sled leading them through the snow towards the park. The waterbending snow removal teams had already been by early in the morning; the streets and sidewalks had been cleared, and of course LoLo paid extra to have their driveway cleared as well. It was still snowing, however, thick, fat flakes that spiraled down from the sky, catching in the wool of their hats and on her eyelashes and coating the landscape in a silent blanket of white.
"Have fun," Papa said, and quickly shut the door behind them. Papa had never been a particularly big fan of snow. Daddy certainly wasn't. She could have gotten Mama to come along, but they had taken Lin to run errands and most likely wouldn't be back for a few hours.
She could see, in the distance, Linyi bouncing about, trying very hard to use her bending to toss a snowball at her aunt. Sayuri was jogging slowly, towing Tarra along behind her on the sled while the baby laughed and clapped her hands, delighted with what must have felt like a great deal of speed to her. Sayuri was scatterbrained and irreverent and frequently drove her to distraction but she truly loved the girls and was always responsible with them. They, in turn, adored her, their funny Auntie that always made time to play with them. She knew Lozan would be the Firelord one day; it was important that he learn his place there in the Fire Nation Court. He'd miss out on so much over there, however; Sayuri's brilliant whimsy, Papa's benevolent imperiousness, Daddy's steadfast love, Mama's profound devotion, Tupilek's serene tenderness, the company of his cousins and Uncle Bo and Auntie Opal and Zhi and Ping when they were home. Not to mention how much she missed Naoki every single day. Which was selfish of her, she knew. But there it was.
"You're sure he isn't cold-" Sozui started, but then closed his mouth with a snap as she turned to stare at him. "I...Fishy, I don't know what's wrong with me. Of course you're sure." He closed his eyes briefly. "You've been sure of everything since you were born, I think."
She snorted at that and tucked her arm into his. "Oh, if that were only the case." He pushed the pram on, struggling a bit to get the wheels through the fresh snow. The baby goggled upwards, blinking in surprise at the whirl of snowflakes landing on his cheeks and chin, raising his hands, encased in the one-piece snowsuit, to swipe at them. "She's going to be okay, Sozui. It's not uncommon, what she's going through. I consulted with the city's best waterhealer midwife this morning and we agreed that she'd come to see her tonight to make sure there isn't anything physical going on. I don't think there is, but it's not my specialty and I want an expert. If there isn't, then I am going to pull her out of bed tomorrow. The best thing for mothers who are suffering from this is to get them out for plenty of gentle exercise, help distract them, let them get out their feelings. She's lost weight but Cork will take care of that, we've already spoken about it." She glanced over at him and saw the slow tear making its way down and reached out to stop the pram. "Oh, Sozui. I promise you, she will be fine."
He turned to her, anguished. "This is where it started with my mother, you know. And she never got better. It was bad enough after Juziya was born, but then after she had me it just got worse and worse. She never recovered. What if Naoki never recovers either?"
She immediately put her arms around him. "It's not like that. It's my understanding that your mother suffered from her severe moods even as a girl, long before you or your sister were born. Your grandmother was questioning her ability to rule before she'd even reached her majority, yes?" At his nod she tightened her embrace. "It's not the same thing, it really isn't. Naoki isn't like your mother."
He trembled in her arms. "But what if she is?" he whispered. She saw, over his shoulder, Linyi running their way; with a pounce, Sayuri snatched her up, tossing her up in the air, before meeting her eyes. She nodded once and then took Linyi in the opposite direction, plopping her down onto the sled behind her little sister, tugging the two of them along. Button might not always do what was expected of her and was often careless with her actions but she was kind. And not nearly as obtuse as most people assumed she was.
"She's not. I'm a healer, and you must take my word on it. I would never try to disguise the truth about someone's health." She pushed him back so she could meet his eyes, which were full of tears. "I would never lie when it came to a member of my own family, and you are a member of my family. She is not like your mother and she will be fine. She just needs to have our support in getting herself back together again." She kept his gaze before sighing. "Which is something you and I need to discuss." She briskly patted his back and withdrew, taking up the handle of the pram and expertly maneuvering it, getting it moving again against the snow.
"Discuss her health, you mean?"
"Yes, that, although I will see to that part of it." She shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. "I officially took leave from the clinic yesterday. Sitiak is going to cover for me until I can return and Tupilek's going to go in part time as well. And I wired Zhi to come home. It won't get to him immediately - it usually takes time to find him in the field - but I know as soon as he gets it he will be on his way."
He took in a deep breath. "You didn't need to do that."
This time she let her annoyance show. "She's my sister. I did need to do that."
"I'm not sure how long we'll be staying."
She took a moment to regain her inner poise. She'd known Sozui since she was a small girl; she loved him and had considered him a member of the family even before he'd married her sister. It was high time, then, that she spoke to him like a brother. "That's the other thing I want to talk to you about."
He sighed. "Fishy, it's not just as simple as staying-"
She held up a hand to cut him off. "I need to say something to you, and I'd appreciate you letting me do so without interruption." At his blink of surprise she took in a breath before carrying on. "How long before you made your official engagement had your sister made it known that you were in the market for a bride?"
He stared at her, nearly stumbling over his own feet as she continued to efficiently move the pram along. "Uh, about half a year. Why?"
Her daughters and sister were barely visible in the distance, easily out of earshot. Good. "The woman you were engaged to, she was from one of the best families, of course." Her smile was humorless. "I might have married a nobody for love, but I'm aware of how the system works for royalty."
"Yes, of course. Her family is very old, very respected, very close to the court." He grimaced, most likely thinking of the Agni Kai the woman's brother had insisted on when he'd run off with Naoki as the wedding was starting.
"So it's safe to say that her being from that family and at the age that she was, she had been preparing for years to be a bride. If not a royal one then married to someone else in the nobility. The Fire Nation being what it is."
He nodded cautiously. "I think that's a pretty safe assumption, yes. As you say, the Fire Nation being what it is."
"She would have been raised to the idea that one does not marry for love, but rather for duty. As a noblewoman and wife her duties would have included providing heirs, first and foremost. Also having a well-run household, being a perfect hostess, seeing to the comfort of her spouse and children at all times." He didn't answer, but he didn't need to. They both knew she was right. "Her own wants and needs would have been immaterial; she would have been expected to be content with the success of her family. As the wife of the Crown Prince, she would have also been expected to put the needs of the nation before her own wants and needs as well. Yes?"
He glared at her, brows drawing down in annoyance. "You know that's correct."
"You didn't do that, however. Marry a Fire Nation noblewoman who was raised to be nothing more than an elevated, gracious, perfectly correct wife, mother and princess. Instead, you married for love."
He stopped then, putting his hands on his waist. "Meili, you know damned well I married for love. What are you getting at with this?"
She stopped as well and for once, let her anger show. "Because you are treating my sister like the perfect Fire Nation noblewoman bride. You are expecting her to know her place as the wife of the Crown Prince; you are expecting her to be a dutiful wife that puts your comfort before her own. You are expecting her to put the needs of your nation before her love for you and especially the love of your son. You are expecting her to give up everything in the world that she loves in order to serve your court. Her school and her home and her family? You are expecting her to renounce them without complaint for no other reason than it's what that court expects. And to be blunt, it's a load of hot, stinking badgermole shit."
He stared at her, mouth hanging open. If she hadn't been so angry she might have been amused. "Meili...I..."
She rode right over him. "If that's what you wanted from a wife, then you should have fucking well married whats-her-name and not my sister. How dare you! How dare you treat her like a one-size fits all wife? You know how she was raised, how we all were raised. You know the example she had with our parents. My father is, in so many ways, still a king, but he has never once treated Daddy or Mama the way you have been treating Naoki. And don't even get me started on your sister. I know she's still angry about that whole wedding debacle but it's been two years and she needs to let it go. Is it any wonder that Naoki doesn't want to be there with that kind of hostility? Never mind how she's treated by the nobles who took the side of your ex-fiancé. How can you possibly think she wants her son raised in that kind of atmosphere?" She snapped her hand to the side in a way that was pure Beifong. "She wasn't raised to politics the way you were. She wasn't raised to any of that. Do you think she doesn't care? That it doesn't bother her? She's strong, Sozui, but she's not invincible. She's neither an impulsive nor a cruel woman, but she packed up her six month old baby and fled in the middle of the night without even leaving a note. What does that possibly tell you?" Oh, she was so angry she could hardly see straight. "And don't you dare tell me it's because she doesn't love you. You know her better than that. You of all people know how much she loves you."
"I do, you know I do." He was standing very still, watching her.
"If what you need is a dutiful wife then it would be better for everyone involved if you divorced her, married a noblewoman raised to duty, and bred more heirs that way and let my sister and her son come home." She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. "Because if you keep this up with her you'll end up with a broken shell of a woman. If you love my sister then you can't possibly tear her apart this way."
"Are you telling me this is my fault?" He was asking, not shouting, trying to understand what she was telling him, she thought.
"Not all of it. But most of it, yes." She shook her head. "Sozui, Tupilek supports me. When he can, he does whatever necessary to help me as well as the girls, even when it might not be what he wants, even when it might make things inconvenient for him. In return, I do the same for him. That's what a marriage should be, a real marriage I mean, not a contract set up for the breeding of heirs. It's compromise, it's working it through, it's give and take. Is that really how you see your marriage to her? If it is, then you are doing a piss-poor job of it."
He hadn't looked away from her. "I don't think I've ever heard you shout before. Not like this."
"I love my sister. I would do anything for her. For my family." She closed her eyes and breathed in, focusing on the snow as it fell, letting the crystallized water soothe her, her bending sensitive to each minute bite of ice. She'd always envied the exquisite perfection of each flake as it fell, no two the same. She'd tried to cultivate that perfection in herself for so many years; it had been Tupilek, finally, who had shown her that her flaws were just as beautiful and desired as well. Naoki deserved the same in her marriage. If he could just get past his royal responsibilities she knew Sozui would be the man who gave it to her. She opened her eyes to meet his. "She's your wife, not an obligation for the sake of the Fire Nation," she said softly, and he put his head into his hands. "You have to learn how to treat her like that. Or you will lose her. Maybe not today, but sooner rather than later."
He didn't answer her, turning to take his son out of the pram, tucking him into his arms, gazing down at him. "Papa hasn't done what he should, Lozan," he murmured. "But I'll make it better, I promise." The baby smiled, deepening the dimples he'd inherited from his father, a rivulet of drool spilling down his chin. "You keep doing that, you'll get another rash."
"Rashes I can fix," she said, gently blotting at Lozan's wet chin with her mitten.
"I don't want to lose either of them," he said, keeping his gaze on the baby. "I've never loved anybody but her."
"Well, act like it then," she replied tartly, realizing she sounded like Lin as the words left her mouth. "You can start by telling your sister to stop calling every single damn day to ask when you are returning."
His mouth twisted. "That I can do. Will do, I promise." He looked at her then and his smile, although bittersweet, appeared. "Being a pain in the ass kind of runs in the family."
"No kidding," she said, and adjusted the hood of the pram. "Come on. Let's take a walk around the park and then we'll let LoLo pour tea into all of us."
"Do you think he's still mad at me?" He settled the baby back into the pram.
"You did name the future Firelord after him. I'm pretty sure that gives you a lot of leeway." She tucked her arm back into his as he started to push again.
"Good thing," he said, and she leaned over to lay her head against his.