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...And the next time your little brine blooded brother comes to you he’s being dragged and there’s violet running down his pretty face on account of some motherfucker saw fit to go for his fucking fins for no reason other than he got ‘em. Usually you’d let this shit slide but this little fishy is paint, he fucking prostrated himself and BEGGED to be paint and you seen his scores in subjugglation and scripture and they are better than the fucker that attacked him and so you KNOW he didn’t start that shit.
Little fucker what went at him’s grinning up at you under his paint like he’s proud and you decide right then you’re gonna teach a lesson
“Stiffs in the water, floating, we see you,” You start rumbling and his face drops. Aint what he expected. Good. “...Doing flips in the air, run and see, dude.”
“Raps of Paradise.” Seadweller whispers, faint like he’s not sure.
Should be, he’s right. His attacker has started going purple round the ears and you think he’s starting to work out he’s in trouble. You can smell his fear. Excellent.
“What’s the next line.”
“I don-”
“WHAT IS THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKING LINE.”
“No cops.” He starts with confidence. You stare him down. He chokes on it. “Unless… Unless they’re pouring out shots.” Pause. He’s doing a pretty good job of stopping his knees knocking together, you are right proud. “...Unless…. you helping us smoke these crops. Surfing on the… the… uh-”
“Surfing on the big one, having big fun,” You finish for him. Your voice is a deep terrifying rumble like waves under the ocean and you see him RIGHTFULLY MOTHERFUCKING COWED. “Fucking with a big fat one under the sun…. Letting em hang, doing OUR thing.”
You watch the knot of his throat bob and try not to laugh.
“Do you think, DO YOU MOTHERFUCKING THINK, that when the messiahs word was rapped and they told you to let a brother hang what they really fucking meant was PIN A BROTHER DOWN AND RIP TO SHREDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING FINS?”
The fish flinches at that, fresh still with pain and you see the other brothers face fall like someone spit on his ticket to carnival. Maybe they motherfucking did aint your place to say. He shakes his head near imperceptible and looks at fins all sorry as fuck. Whether he’s sorry cause he did it or sorry cause you preached at him you don’t know, but you don’t care none either since fins is getting his apology either way and if he don’t wrigglers gonna be right fucking sorry that he wasted your time of day.
“...Sorry.”
“Damn fuckin’ right.”
You send one to the medicullers and one to chapel and call it a motherfucking day.
Fuckin wrigglers.
