Chapter Text
The highly anticipated hour has finally arrived, and masses of students gather at the singular notice board in the middle of the hallway and clamber for a look at the name list that is to decide their lives and standing in the social hierarchy for the next year. The class of 3-D, or rather the current year 2 students who would end up in the class of 3-D at the start of the next academic year, convene in the current 2-D classroom and look over their spoils.
"Hello, new classmates!" Shun says, throwing his bag into a seat and plopping into the one adjacent. "Looks like my standards have dropped again this year. Who are the unlucky bunch in next year's death squad?"
"A lot of the undeserving ones," Kiyoko says sadly. "Yuuma Isogai, for one. He should be in at least C with his grades but Principal Asano put him in E because of his part time job."
"That's a shame," Guro agrees. "I heard his family is really unfortunate. Not everyone can afford the expensive elite school fees, but luckily I heard he's on scholarship from one of the community beneficiaries."
"Oh damn!" Hosu says, holding his phone out at arm's length. "Karma Akabane is in 3-E."
"Oh?" Yana says. "Yes! Finally!"
"What's wrong with Akabane?" Shun says. "Isn't he one of the smart ones? I want him for group projects."
"If he was just 'one of the smart ones'," Yana says, "he wouldn't have been in D originally, would he?" She leans over with a conspiratorial whisper, and the group huddles in closer to listen. "He's put in D originally because he keeps getting into fights but it was with other school kids, so Principal Asano didn't care but he still had to move him down to D to preserve the sanctity of the school reputation. The final straw was beating up one of our own, and he got a suspension for that too."
"I mean we all knew this," Shun whispers back in the same tone of voice. "Why are we whispering?"
"Don't you know?" Yan says. "The walls have ears. You were in C last time but here in D, we have less leeway so we speak a little quieter about these things. And let's face it, Principal doesn't really care about the rights and wrongs of beating people up. I hear the real reason is because Akabane argued with him."
"No, Akabane's still alive. That's not possible." Huso pauses. "A... mild disagreement, maybe."
"Nagisa Shiota is in 3-E!" Shun says. "Aww. I was hoping to be able to speak to her more, I thought she was kind of cute-"
"Him," Yan says firmly. "Not her. Nagisa is a boy."
"Really?" Shun stares. "But she has such long hair! And I saw her mother at the gates once and she called Nagisa her daughter."
"Well Nagisa told us he's a boy," Yana says, "so he's a boy. Maybe he's not out to his mother yet or she doesn't accept him."
"Oh," Shun says.
"I hope Akabane doesn't give him a hard time," Kiyoko says. "They were friends once, you know, it was really weird, they ate together during lunch and went out after school and everything. Then one day they just stopped being."
"Maybe Akabane wanted a girlfriend but he found out Nagisa was a boy," Guro says.
"Maybe," Yana shrugs. "I don't like Nagisa's mom. Something about her seems off."
"Hope she doesn't give him a hard time for being dropped to E," Yan says.
"I pity the lot but I wouldn't want to be there," Hosu says. "And to climb up that stupid hill everyday? I'd rather drop out."
"Forbidden words!" Kiyoko gasps.
"We might die," Yana says with a theatrical voice, "or even worse…"
"Expelled!"
--
"Who's that?" Wasai says.
"That's the new 3-E teacher," Suki says, turning back to look at the new face who passed them in the halls. "I saw her going up to the 3-E campus the other day. I don't know her name, though."
"They have a new teacher?" Wasai says. "What happened to the last one?"
"I dunno," Suki says. "They recycle teachers like DADA."
"Huh?"
"Right, you don't watch harry potter. Weirdo. Anyways in Harry Potter, they take this class called Defense Against the Dark Arts or DADA in English, and the thing about that class is that all the weird stuff happens there, so they end up changing a new teacher every year for a ton of reasons."
"Ohh. That makes sense."
"Does it?"
"Not really. Do you think there are secret elevators on the hill? They can't possibly walk all the way up and down every day, right?"
"I don't know, Tsubara and his friends went around the hill to try find something like that once but they didn't get anything."
"Aww," Wasai says. "At least they'll be getting tons of cardio?"
Saki snickers. "Sure, and we'll have to run laps like normal people."
--
"Why the hell was Sugino dropped off the school team?"
"Didn't you hear?" Sato says. "He got put in 3-E."
"I tried talking to Coach," Shindou says.
"Coach is useless in this scenario," Anaya says. "You have to talk to the Principal."
There's a pause as everybody contemplates that situation, and they let out simultaneous shudders.
"Yeah, nah, I like the guy,” Shindou says, “but not enough."
“Rip Sugino,” Juno says, “he was a good guy, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
“I thought his grades were pretty okay,” Anaya says. “I mean, he was slipping, but not that much, right?”
“Yeah, but 3-E’s class quota has to be filled,” Sato shrugs. “If not him, someone else had to end up there anyways, I guess Sugino just drew the short end of the stick.”
“Yeah,” Shindou says. “Not something that can be helped. I guess we have to hold new tryouts.”
“I hear Sugaya got kicked out of the Art Club, too.”
“Well, to be fair, they’re going to have to focus more on their grades and not extracurriculars,” Juno points out. “Besides, by the time they walk down the hill when class ends in midday, it’d be sun down!”
--
“The moon exploded,” Asano says, gaping at the news article on his phone and double checking the sources for credibility because that’s just ridiculous. “The moon fucking exploded. Are you seeing this?”
"Heheh," Sakakibara says. He turns his phone screen to show Asano a picture of the crescent moon with bold black text on the top, "this was the moon we all drew in 3rd grade".
Asano gives him an unimpressed look. "The moon exploded, Ren."
"Well what do you want me to do?" Sakakibara says. "I can't fix the moon."
“What do you think could have caused it?” Koyama says. “Aliens? A government conspiracy?”
“Why would any government blow up the moon?”
“I don’t know, why would the US government blow up the twin towers?”
“Well something must have happened,” Asano insists. “I’m going to find out.”
“I’m sure they’ll release an official statement soon,” Sakakibara says. “We just have to w-”
Asano's phone dings. He looks down at it, scrolls, squints, and shouts.
“A giant yellow octopus blew up the fucking moon?!”