Archive of Our Own

Renjun lives one day at a time. It sounds sentimental, even romantic, but it really isn’t. Renjun can’t afford to think sentimental, not when he can’t even afford living.

“Wanna go?” Jaehyun asks, fingers intertwined with his. Renjun doesn’t mind. It’s cold tonight.

Renjun looks at his watch, it’s late as usual, “Sure.”

Jaehyun looks at him curious. Lately, he’s been looking at him like this. Sometimes, his eyes try to fool him, tries to convince him that Jaehyun doesn’t look at him with the same eyes he first met him with.

“Your place?”

It’s Renjun’s turn to look at him curious.

“My place?” he repeats Jaehyun’s idea unsure. His place is dark and small. It’s where his body is at peace and where his mind can rest. He calls it home, but it’s dark and small. Cold.

He lives with nine other people in an apartment divided into tiny compartments. He gets his own small space, just enough for a tiny bed to fit and not much else. Things could be better, but he’s not one to complain. There’s no use for it, he thinks. In the morning, he wakes up from the ruckus of early birds already busy in their shared kitchen. The thin walls are just an appearance, privacy is just a concept in his world. He walks out from his little corner every morning and sees Doyoung fixing breakfast. A tired smile is offered to him as usual. Renjun can only return the same with nothing else better to offer.

“Why not,” Jaehyun shrugs.

Renjun knows second hand smoke and dark clouds. Jaehyun breathes fresh air and clear skies. Jaehyun does not belong in his world, like how Renjun does not belong in his.

“You won’t fit.”

Renjun could see Jaehyun’s mind turning. He’s standing underneath the door frame, his body barely halfway into Renjun’s tiny quarter. He really doesn’t fit in his room.

Renjun leans on the wall to make room for him. There’s only so much space for two people to be standing inside, “Make yourself at home.”

Jaehyun steps forward, looking around as if studying the space. Renjun tries to hide his amusement, but Jaehyun really does look out of place in Renjun’s dingy coffin. Jaehyun’s expensive beige wool coat is a contrast to the gloomy green walls. His hair, slicked back and black, looks even more dark as the striking white light of his room’s single bulb illuminates harshly. Renjun squeezes himself against Jaehyun and maneuvers towards the door to close it to give them privacy.

His bed creaks as Renjun sits down. Jaehyun, still standing, has a blank expression as his eyes continue to roam around the tiny space. Renjun can’t help but feel a little nervous now, maybe it really wasn’t a good idea to bring Jaehyun to his place. Why did he? To reveal to him the nothingness that he owns? To show him further how far apart their lives are? Not that Jaehyun doesn’t know it even before. But still. This was a stupid idea.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Renjun moves to stand up. His home is not Jaehyun’s home. He doesn’t fit here. He doesn’t belong here.

Renjun feels the weight of Jaehyun’s hands on his shoulders all of a sudden, effectively stopping him from completely standing up. He looks up in surprise and finds Jaehyun focused on him.

Jaehyun brings his hands up to cup Renjun’s face. Without another word, he leans down to capture Renjun’s lips in his. Renjun never understands what each kiss means, sometimes he does, sometimes he pretends he doesn’t, but in any case, they’re always perfect. This time around is no different. It starts slow and soft, as if it’s the first time Jaehyun had him. He lets Renjun respond to the kiss as he pleases, and with Jaehyun he always responds as easy and gentle. But Jaehyun, as Renjun learned, is not the most patient man. After a while of innocent lips feeling each other, he grows more aggressive, more eager to go deeply.

As if by instinct, they move to position on the bed, Renjun backs up as Jaehyun shifts forward, lips never separating from each other. Heat building up between them, Jaehyun removes his coat. The bed creaks again as they move against each other. Jaehyun pulls up Renjun’s hoodie, while Renjun gets Jaehyun’s tie undone easily and works to unbutton Jaehyun’s shirt. They’ve done this so many times before. Hungry bodies eager to feel skin, as if they’ve never felt the burning touch of each other before.

Before he completely gets drunk on Jaehyun, Renjun pauses and withdraws from their kiss. It’s two in the morning. Renjun knows the people who live beside him, they don’t care whatever happens in his quarters. Once their doors are closed, nothing inside is ever anyone’s business outside. But still, he doesn’t want them to hear the pretty little sounds he can cause Jaehyun to make. And the sounds Jaehyun can easily make him do too.

“I have thin walls,” he manages to whisper, “Actually, they’re not really walls, just plywood or something.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun buries his face on Renjun’s neck to compose himself, hot breath panting against his skin, “But let me still kiss you.”

Renjun never had anyone naked on his bed before. Never did he imagine it would be someone like Jaehyun too.

He’s thankful for the warmth. It gets cold in his place. It’s the worst in the winter time. He can never get hot enough to have a comfortable sleep. Jaehyun’s warm body is welcome to provide heat tonight.

He wakes up cold. Renjun isn’t sure how long he’s been alone, but he supposes Jaehyun left while it was still dark, to avoid any unnecessary encounter with Renjun’s neighbors who get up at the break of dawn for the day’s work ahead. In this place, the people get up before the sun does. Jaehyun must have figured that out quickly.

The last thing he remembers is his back pressed against Jaehyun in an embrace.

He gathers up his blanket to himself. It’s cold, it’s not even winter yet.

...

Renjun first saw Jaehyun when he walked through the doors of the rundown Chinese pub bar where Renjun works at. It was odd seeing a Korean man drink in a place like that. It was located in what people from the wealthier side of the metropolis refer to as the ‘bad’ part of the city. Renjun remembers watching Jaehyun sit alone at the corner. He’s an attractive man with a piercing gaze, facial expression cold, lips sealed in a thin line. He wore an ensemble that looked like it cost more than what Renjun had owned since he could work. It was already past eleven in the evening, Renjun wondered back then if the guy just came off from work, or was he coming there for work.

It was a place of that kind of business, people came there to talk in hushed voices, in secret codes which no one understood outside the discolored walls of the bar. No one listens in to the conversations but as if they did, they hide them like they’re their own secrets to keep. Nothing was luxurious about the place. The wooden floors were old and the lights were dim.

“It’s part of the charm,” his coworker Kun once said. Renjun thinks no one comes to this place for the charm.

Before it struck midnight, Jaehyun was gone. Renjun never approached him, he just glanced at where he was once in a while out of curiosity. The man was alone all night. No business attended. He just drank alone like that.

Jaehyun came again the next night, ordered the same thing he had previously. He was dressed as lavish as before. His expression was still as impassive as Renjun remembered. He sat at the same place at the corner. No one came to meet him again. Renjun would have left him alone again if it weren’t for the fact that the man kept looking at him, like how Renjun found himself doing as well.

“Do you need anything else?” Renjun approached him finally, curiosity getting the best of him. He just wanted to know what his voice sounded like. Renjun took a pen with him, ready to write his order. He didn’t need to, Renjun had been doing this since he got out of high school. His dead parents might disapprove if they saw where he ended up, but serving liquor to some of the city’s most dubious people pays the bills. He had all the drinks memorized, but he needed an excuse to hold on to something if ever he got intimidated by the beautiful man. 

Jaehyun looked at him. He neither smiled nor frowned, and without looking away, he stirred his glass slowly. The ice swirled around the remaining alcohol. Renjun didn’t break eye contact. He stayed quiet as the man simply took a sip from his glass, all the while still intently looking at Renjun. Renjun was intrigued. He didn't feel intimidated. There was tension around them, and Renjun felt pulled to it.

What seemed like a minute, Jaehyun finally focused his eyes on his drink.

“What time do you get out?” was what Renjun heard from him next.

Renjun didn’t know this man but, “In an hour.”

Jaehyun placed a few bills on the table, an amount Renjun knew was too big for it to be his tab.

“I’ll be in the black car,” he stood up and walked out.

With a beep, the door to the unit unlocked. What greeted Renjun once he stepped inside was the view of the city, displayed for him through the massive glass window that took up the whole expanse of the wall. They were at least some thirty floors up in the sky, Renjun could see the city asleep but also alive. It was dark but the lights were scattered like little diamonds shining. He could admire the view all night but that wasn’t what he was for.

Renjun’s focus returns to Jaehyun. There wasn’t a need for words to be exchanged. Their lips crashed unceremoniously, the need to touch and be touched taking over in an instant.

Jaehyun’s hands made their way underneath his shirt, a welcomed sensation as Renjun had his body pressed against him. A quiet moan escaped Renjun’s lips. He missed being touched, his body vibrated in excitement as Jaehyun lifted him up to his waist and carried him to a bedroom. Their kiss became more heated, mouths open and tongue meeting. There was no time wasted as Renjun lifted his shirt over his head to remove it. The other man did the same and discarded his own. Chest to chest, they kissed more fiercely, a little more intense. More clothes abandoned, Jaehyun gripped on his hips, hands roamed to feel flesh. Mouths explored the expanse of smooth skin, marking and tasting what it could. Renjun could only sigh at the scorching touches.

Completely naked, Renjun opened up for him. He couldn’t hold a whimper as he felt Jaehyun slip inside him.

“You’re so tight, so hot,” Jaehyun’s words echoed in the room as he sank deeper into Renjun. Renjun’s world spun, his mind blank, every fiber of him alive.

Jaehyun rocked against him and Renjun met him to complement the motion. The pleasure, the thrill, the lust brought Renjun to the tip. Jaehyun reached his peak first. Seeing Jaehyun’s expression of ecstasy, Renjun reached his own a few seconds later, white spilling between them.

In the dark, their skins glistened, curves of their bodies outlined by the modest light. The moon was their witness. The marks were unseen that night but when the sun came up, the evidence of their deeds would be revealed.

A caress on the cheek, a kiss on the edge of his mouth, Renjun heard him whisper, “Beautiful.”

Renjun learned Jaehyun’s name the morning after. He didn’t have to ask for it, Jaehyun gave it to him freely. Openly, like he thought Renjun will have a use for it. Renjun gave his name too, to be polite.

Jaehyun offered him a ride downtown that morning. He even suggested he’d drop Renjun off wherever he needed to. Renjun was not from around there, he was sure he would get lost so he took the offer, at least to somewhere he can take a lift from.

Jaehyun was already dressed in no time, impeccable as expected. Renjun looked around for his own clothing, he found them neatly folded in the bathroom as if they were not abandoned carelessly on the floor last night. There was no time to feel ashamed, he hurried to change from a shirt he didn’t recognize to his own.

Before he left the place, in the brightness of the day, Renjun took the chance to examine the place he spent the night at. The walls were white and high. There were minimal decorations around and furnitures were modern and sleek. The view from the living space was as spectacular as it was in the night. Renjun tried to commit the view to his memory. He didn’t belong here, nothing here was for him to take. He didn’t dare ask Jaehyun if the place was his. They’ve done nothing together except have casual sex. Renjun didn’t think he was entitled to know more about him than what he already knew.

Jaehyun never came to the bar again after that. Renjun expected as much. 

He knew his boss wouldn’t care if he found out a random customer wouldn’t be coming back to drink there again. Jaehyun came twice, ordered simple drinks, and said little to nothing. He tipped well, but that was Renjun’s and his coworkers’ to lose. He wasn’t a regular at that point anyway. There were more important people that came to the bar. Business will be as usual.

And it was just one night, Renjun reminded himself. A night shared together that will just be a part of their past. Jaehyun just wanted to hold someone that night, and Renjun just happened to be that someone. Renjun wanted the warmth, Jaehyun was that source that night. There were no reasons to think otherwise. They would forget each other soon enough.

So when he found the familiar black car parked at the side of the bar one night after his shift, he couldn’t help but feel something strange bubble inside him.

…

[Jaehyun:] your neighbor is funny

[Renjun:] which?

[Jaehyun:] the kid, he asked me what i was doing there

[Renjun:] you shouldve told him ur the boogey monster. he’d believe you

[Jaehyun:] don’t teach kids your fantasies jun haha 

[Jaehyun:] See u tonight?

They didn’t always meet as often, maybe once a week when they started it. But as the months passed, meeting a couple of nights in a row didn’t seem odd anymore. Who was he to reject Jaehyun if he’s in the mood? No night is the same anyway.

Some nights, they take it slow– teasing and feeling each other until someone begs. Renjun is more than happy to play the little devil. He likes watching Jaehyun slowly lose control, peeling him layer by layer until he growls for Renjun to take him in. He can’t say he enjoys Jaehyun doing the same to him though. Jaehyun knows how to push him to the edge. The spots, the nerves, the words. As if satan himself, Jaehyun can make him undone in front of him shamelessly.

Some nights, they do it fast and hard. When the excitement is palpable, hands become eager to get each other naked. Sometimes, they immediately head for the bed. Sometimes, they do it on Jaehyun’s sofa. Renjun would feel as if his heart is going to jump out of its cage. He clenches on Jaehyun tighter, Jaehyun pounds on him harder. It’s loud, rough, and raw. Flesh against flesh, there’s no time to breathe until it’s done.

Jaehyun gives him a chaste kiss as Renjun gets in his car, “Hey.”

Renjun remembers how the habit started, it was when Jaehyun got called early to work one morning and Renjun was still in bed. Renjun was too tired, the night’s activity taking a toll on him. Jaehyun insisted Renjun stay in bed and he could leave anytime he wanted. It was the first time Jaehyun had to go first and leave Renjun on his own. He left a kiss on his temple as he said goodbye. It just became a habit, Renjun doesn’t mind.

As he sits in Jaehyun’s car, he notices how his worn out sneakers and the sweatshirt he’s wearing stand out in contrast with the lavish leather seating of the vehicle. Jaehyun makes money in the thousands or more, Renjun doesn’t ask. He can have anything and anyone he wants without even asking, just like the rest of the city’s elite.

Renjun doesn’t hate the rich, but he does have a great disdain for them. He doesn’t hide this fact, even from Jaehyun. He hasn’t met a rich person who isn’t vain and egotistical. And Jaehyun isn’t an exception. He is as smug and as cocky as they come. It’s just Renjun can’t lie and say he doesn’t find that annoyingly attractive on Jaehyun. Because, god, Jaehyun is stunning, with or without the arrogant attitude.

Jaehyun is every bit out of his league. If Renjun could more properly describe it— Jaehyun isn’t even in his orbit. But he is sleeping with him, so maybe Jaehyun doesn’t care if Renjun is poor. Renjun doesn’t care that Jaehyun is rich either. Money is the least of their concern when fucking anyway.

“Where are we going?” Renjun asks as they miss the turn that leads to Jaehyun’s place.

“I want to take you out,” Jaehyun looks on at the road ahead. Renjun catches a glimpse of the dips that form on his cheeks when he smiles. He’s been seeing them more often lately.

They end up at a small Japanese restaurant not far from the river.

“Is there an occasion?”

Jaehyun just shrugs his shoulders in reply. Knowing that he’d probably leave Renjun to figure out the answer on his own, Renjun sighs loudly. He’s being treated food so he can’t complain too rudely. But Renjun’s reaction must’ve amused the other because a bright heartily laugh escapes from Jaehyun’s mouth. 

Renjun has learned a lot of things about Jaehyun. For one, he’s not as serious as he looks. He’s easily amused, more than what Renjun expects from people like him who carries such a dignified poise. Renjun is somewhat used to it. Jaehyun’s laugh though, there’s no getting used to it, Renjun thinks.

The same as not getting used to waking up beside a god-like and immaculate mortal singing like an angel after a filthy night of lust and sin. Jaehyun would sometimes sing Renjun a song in the morning in bed, tracing through invisible moles like they’re constellations on his face. It makes Renjun want to just listen to his voice and fall asleep again. Jaehyun won’t let him though and would kiss him to wake him up. Renjun thinks it’s unfair, how easily he can make his heart beat faster, inevitably stopping him from going back to sleep. Renjun isn’t certain if he wants to get used to that.

“It’s my birthday tomorrow,” Jaehyun finally answers him after his laughing fit.

“Oh,” Renjun could only mutter in response. Honestly, Renjun doesn’t know what to say or feel. In front of him is the guy he has spent countless sunrises with, tangled in his arms in warmth. The guy he has laid in the bathtub with, back pressed against chest as they soaked in the water together. The guy he has uttered the name multiple times in the dark in pleasure. The guy that whispers affectionate words as he explores his body. The guy that holds him as though he is a precious thing he can keep. And yet, this is the first time Renjun finds out his birthday. He feels terrible.

“Hey,” Jaehyun places a soft touch over his hand, “You okay?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Well, I don’t know your birthday either.”

Renjun studies him, Jaehyun hasn’t let go of his hand.

“Do you want to?” Honestly, Renjun doesn’t know if he wants to hear his reply.

“Yes.”

Renjun can’t stop his lips from forming a smile, “It’s a month and a few days from now.”

“Great, let’s celebrate then too,” Jaehyun waves his hand to catch the attention of the server.

Celebrate. They’re celebrating right now.

Renjun can tell Jaehyun is a little too eager tonight. The door to his unit hasn’t even properly closed yet but Jaehyun is already ravaging his lips with his own. Skipping the usual gentle kisses, they dive right in with open mouths, hot breath panting, biting and sucking lips and tongue out trying to fight for control. Renjun lets Jaehyun win after a while, it’s his birthday in a few minutes after all.

“I want you,” Jaehyun mouths in Renjun’s jaw.

Renjun can feel Jaehyun’s hard member grinding against him, he replies easily, “I’m here.”

Heat pools in Renjun’s stomach. This is the only time he curses Jaehyun’s huge place. The bedroom feels too far away. Their clothes are shed off quickly as they move together closer to their intended destination. Renjun feels excited, electricity coursing through his body. Every touch burns, every kiss ignites a part of his soul that he thought was dead a long time ago. Renjun wants to return everything he feels with the same fervor, he wants Jaehyun to know how breathless he’s making him.

They’ve never been this hasty, never been too hungry that Jaehyun could eat him whole on the spot. Their bodies never disconnecting, skin on skin sliding and rubbing against each other. The contact feels not enough, it never feels enough.

When they finally reach the bed, Renjun pushes Jaehyun to lay down, “Let me make you feel good.”

He hovers over Jaehyun and admires his naked sculpted body. He licks his length with white already leaking. Renjun would’ve loved to tease but seeing Jaehyun’s state, Renjun decides to relent to the body’s desire. Jaehyun groans as Renjun takes him whole. This isn’t the first time Renjun has done it with him, but he thinks he’s making the prettiest sounds he’s heard so far.

Before Jaehyun completely loses it, Renjun pushes himself up to kiss him, “Happy birthday, hyung.”

Renjun used to dread the mornings. Mornings meant a new day. And a new day for Renjun meant another day he had to exist in a miserable world.

Mornings like these though, he doesn’t mind. Not when Jaehyun looks a little stupid with his mouth open, fast asleep beside him.

“Wake up,” Renjun nudges him, alas their mornings can’t last forever, “You have a party to attend to.”

Jaehyun is supposed to be getting ready for his birthday party right about now. He couldn’t stop complaining at dinner about his friends Johnny and Ten annoying him to make sure he shows up. They apparently rented a penthouse and ordered every imaginable alcohol man can think of for tonight. A party to remember for the birthday boy.

Jaehyun stirs awake after a few more nudges from Renjun. But instead of getting up, he stretches his arm and gathers Renjun in an embrace, burying his face on his hair.

“Did you know it’s Valentine’s day?” Jaehyun mutters, his voice still hoarse.

“No,” Renjun admits, he’s never had to think about Valentines before. There was just no reason.

“I was born on Valentines.”

Renjun scoffs, “Must be fun for you, birthday sex every year.” Jaehyun grumbles like a child.

“Wanna stay with you.” Renjun hears Jaehyun mumble.

“You shouldn’t.”

Jaehyun clutches tighter. Renjun closes his eyes and refuses to think. He likes the warmth.

(Renjun ends up on Jaehyun’s bed that night too.

“Happy Valentines, Renjun.”)

...

Renjun lets Jaehyun kiss him in every which way he pleases. He’s exhausted today more than usual. He just botched a perfectly good paying job as a server a few hours ago and got fired from the catering agency he gets called for once in a while. Apparently accidentally knocking over a ten-tiered cake out of balance and turning it into a flat bread on the ground will get you out of a job in a heartbeat.

As expected, Renjun didn’t get his pay. His meager wage won’t compensate for the tears the bride shed, and definitely will not make any difference to the hefty bill the catering company will inevitably shell out to pay the newly weds for the catastrophe he caused. He got scolded on by at least seven individual people. Getting slapped was to be expected. His knees hurt from kneeling too long and he doesn’t remember how many times he bowed. Truthfully, he thinks he got off easy. Yangyang could only pat his back to console him. He said he’d call later to check up on him.

As promised, Yangyang did call but Renjun was just too busy with Jaehyun’s tongue down his throat.

Honestly, he doesn’t want to answer him anyway. He’ll just blow Renjun’s ear off with what went down after he left. Call him selfish, but more so than feeling absolute shit for ruining someone’s wedding, he’s afraid word will travel and he’d get blacklisted from working as a server for other caterers.

Renjun just needs a few hours to take his mind off that. Jaehyun was more than accepting when Renjun called to ask if he wanted to spend the night.

“You okay, babe?” Jaehyun withdraws for a moment from kissing. He must have noticed Renjun’s unusual pliantness. They’ve been making out for a while now with Renjun on his lap, body limp and spent.

Renjun closes his eyes and sighs, “Just tired.”

Jaehyun kisses him again and for a second Renjun forgets his troubles. Sometimes, he forgets how good of a kisser Jaehyun is.

“Something’s bothering you,” Jaehyun leaves soft kisses on his neck and travels to his collarbone, “I can hear you thinking.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Try me.”

Renjun contemplates telling Jaehyun what happened. The last time they had a conversation about something like this, Jaehyun offered to give him money. That annoyed Renjun and told him off. Honestly, Renjun didn’t imagine their first fight to turn out that way. He expected once a semblance of drama between them broke out, Jaehyun would kick him out, cut off all ties, and would never want to see him again. Renjun wouldn’t blame him, of course. Why deal with drama when Jaehyun can easily find another person to sleep with that isn’t as prideful and pitiful as Renjun.

But instead, he received a text the next day asking to meet up.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” was what Jaehyun said to him as he left open mouth kisses on his chest down to his stomach. And then a plea, “Please, let’s not...” He left the rest unsaid.

Renjun knew Jaehyun wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He wasn’t trying to buy him. He wasn’t trying to flaunt his wealth at him or show Renjun what he thought his price was.

“I don’t need your money,” Renjun whispered truthfully. It’s true that Renjun doesn’t have much to his name, and if he dies the next day, no one will even bat an eye. Maybe his neighbor’s kid, Jisung, he’s always been sweet to Renjun. But nothing will change what he feels about it. Jaehyun’s money and power have nothing to do with him.

Jaehyun positioned Renjun to sit on his hips, carefully aligning themselves for Renjun to take him in. Renjun’s grip on Jaehyun’s shoulder tightened, feeling the pressure as he lowered himself deeper. It hurt but at the same time it felt so good, all the tension building and releasing like he was going to burst any moment.

They paused for a while to breathe, the air hot and heavy around them. “However you want it, baby,” Jaehyun held him harder, “I’ll do it.”

“Ruined someone’s wedding today, I feel like shit.”

A crease on Jaehyun’s forehead appears, he thumbs Renjun’s swollen cheek, “Someone slapped you.”

“I ruined their wedding.”

Jaehyun places a soft kiss on it as if to soothe it. The sting is still there, but Renjun doesn’t mind. Jaehyun is good at comforting.

“Want me to make you feel better?” He rubs circles on his back.

“You can try.”

...

“You never ask me questions.”

“I do,” Renjun replies as he dries his hair with a towel.

Renjun is not a person who takes advantage of other people’s property, he may be poor but he’s not one to thoughtlessly take liberties on others’ belongings for his own selfish benefit. But Jaehyun’s shower is really nice. The water is warm all the time. It isn’t also the worst thing in the world that an attractive man likes to hop in to join him once in a while.

Jaehyun pats his own hair to dry, “Asking the time or what date it is doesn’t count.”

“Would you even answer?” Renjun retorts mischievously. Jaehyun can be talkative when he wants to, but he’s also very private. Renjun doesn’t have to ask to know.

Jaehyun comes up behind him and hooks his chin over Renjun’s shoulder, his arms encircling around his waist.

“You’re not just a good fuck, you know.”

Maybe it’s because they’re already wet anyway but Renjun doesn’t mind feeling the damp skin enveloping him.

“But I am though, right?” Renjun teases.

Jaehyun lets out a chuckle, “Is that your question? Because I think you know the answer to that.”

Renjun thinks he hears Jaehyun whisper something as he trails his lips over his bare shoulder with kisses.

“You’re much, much more.”

Renjun suspects Jaehyun has been giving him his biggest shirts to change to on purpose lately.

“It’s cute,” Jaehyun would say every time.

Of course he’d say that. Renjun isn’t the broadest of guys, him on any of Jaehyun’s clothes will always make him look like he’s swimming in them. Although he does appreciate them, as the bigger ones are comfortable, it also makes Jaehyun cheekier when he sees Renjun in them. To tease him back, sometimes Renjun wouldn’t button the top buttons and let the fabric slide from his shoulder. 

“Why did you go to the bar that time?”

They lazily lie on the bed after a round. Renjun has changed into a big enough shirt of Jaehyun’s and lays on his stomach while he checks if he has any messages from his phone.

“What time? The first time?” Jaehyun is on his side transfixed on dragging his hand up and down on the expanse of Renjun’s thigh.

“It’s the worst bar in town.” Renjun always feels comfortable around Jaehyun. So when his hand moves up to lightly stroke Renjun’s side, Renjun relaxes even more.

“But I met you there, so it’s not that bad.”

Jaehyun is comfortable, but he is also dangerous. His hand continues to caress. Renjun’s shirt rides up, in the process exposing more skin to the air.

“Stop teasing,” Renjun berates him.

“I’m not.” But his hand continues to brush lightly at his curves.

“Did you see me then? The first time you were there?” Renjun turns to his side to face him, but Jaehyun’s hand stays put on his waist. He holds him gently, like he’s precious. 

“I did.”

Renjun knows he’s turning red, he’s burning from the way Jaehyun’s hand slides from his side to his front. He starts from his stomach and reaches to his nipples and thumbs them. Renjun can’t stop his body from reacting. He’s still sensitive from just having sex, his body responding easily to Jaehyun’s touches. He arches forward to meet the contact, chasing the friction as he begins to feel aroused.

“You’re teasing,” Renjun breathes heavy, “We just got done.”

“You say that, but you sound like you're ready for another one.”

Jaehyun’s hand moves to his ass to prod how loose he still is. How can he be so gentle and turn him on at the same time? Renjun thinks that’s why Jaehyun is dangerous.

“You were really pretty that night.”

Dangerous.

“Like how you’re pretty right now.”

Renjun hates how Jaehyun has a way with words, also hates how Jaehyun has a way with his tongue. He can never get enough of it, especially when he’s in between his legs like this, hot mouth and tongue eating him. He licks and kisses his entrance like he’s worshipping it. And when his tongue probes into him, Renjun can only chant his name in return. He hates and loves this. Gentle Jaehyun and dangerous Jaehyun both adoring and wrecking him at the same time.

Renjun pulls him up and kisses him. He wants to thank him for being so kind to him. He changes their position, with Jaehyun beneath him. Renjun litters Jaehyun’s collarbone with kisses, returns the favor of playing with his nipple and swirls his tongue on it to elicit a pretty sound from him. He sucks a spot just below his chest because he knows Jaehyun likes it there. He bites softly on the skin and flesh. He whispers to every inch of Jaehyun, how lucky he is to taste this.

“I’m yours,” he hears Jaehyun tell him. Renjun doesn’t know if it’s Jaehyun’s dazed mind talking, but he elects for him to not say things he doesn’t mean. So he shuts him up with a kiss. Deep and serious, with a message he hopes Jaehyun can understand. Jaehyun kisses back, as passionate as he can. A message of his own.

...

[Jaehyun:] i want to see u

[Renjun:] ok

Renjun thinks Jaehyun has lost his mind. Instead of going back to his place or anywhere else for that matter after picking Renjun up, Jaehyun chooses to head to Renjun’s place and spend time there. Did he forget how bad Renjun’s room is? How small it is. How dark and cold it can be.

Maybe he’s really bothered by something. Maybe he got into a fight with someone. Or maybe something went wrong somewhere.

They lie still on the bed, facing each other. Renjun is hesitant but asks anyway, “Are you okay?”

In a hushed voice, Jaehyun tells him his day, nothing was wrong. Or if there was, he opted to omit it. Renjun doesn’t need to probe him to feel it. So he just levels his face with Jaehyun and stares at him.

“What are you doing?”

“You said you wanted to see me.”

Jaehyun smiles at him, the first genuine one that day.

They don’t get naked. They don’t even kiss. They just cuddle together, holding each other with unspoken emotions. There are no words needed. Jaehyun falls asleep as Renjun cards his fingers through his hair. Renjun joins him in slumber not long after.

When morning breaks, Renjun wakes to Jaehyun humming a tune while he draws yet again an invisible constellation on his face.

“Good morning.”

Renjun likes waking up to warmth, “You’re still here.”

“I think your neighbors can hear you snore out there,” a teasing smile blooms on Jaehyun’s lips.

“Fuck you.”

“Yes, yes you do.”

Renjun quickly covers his mouth, “Shut up! There’s a kid out there!”

When Jaehyun’s laugh subsides, he stares at Renjun. It never fails to make Renjun self conscious. They’ve been intimate numerous times, but nothing is as intense as Jaehyun’s gaze like this up close. When Renjun has had enough and is about to get up, Jaehyun pulls him for a kiss. Languid and passionate, something way too tender for the morning.

Sunlight fills the small space completely.

The walls are still green, still dreary, his room still cramped. They barely fit like last time, but Renjun doesn’t mind. He likes the warmth.