Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian
The wind blew his hair as he played the flute, the music travelling far down the mountain. The song echoed across the rock face, floating in the wind until it swirled around Wuxian and filled his senses. It was Wuji, the beautiful melody that had been composed by the Second Jade of Gusu - Lan Wangji.
It was their song, Wuxian thought firmly. The story of everything they had been through.
Ah, Lan Zhan. Wuxian’s chest ached as he thought of his old companion. His feelings towards Lan Zhan were complex, worsened through their infrequent contact in recent years. It was the terrible fate of adulthood, Wuxian supposed, that deep friendship must suffer under the weight of responsibility. As it was, it seemed a lifetime ago that the man Wuxian had once considered his soulmate had hummed Wuji to him in a dark, dingy cave with the stinking corpse of the Tortoise of Xuanwu only a few feet away. Of course, he had actually died between then and now so for him at least, ‘a lifetime’ was accurate.
In truth, the entire Jin Guangyao affair was ancient history. Over five years had passed and the Sects moved on. Lan Wangji gracefully accepted the role of Chief Cultivator and cleaned up the mess left by the Jin Sect. He was righteous and strong; the incredible Hanguang Jun. The Sect Leaders banded together and vowed to never let such treachery darken their history again and it worked. Prosperity thrived and the people were happy. And Wei Wuxian? He did what he did best and secluded himself from the Cultivation world, continuing to do his own thing. Over a year after the events of Guanyin Temple, he created his own Sect within Yiling. The Demon Grounds, renamed from the Burial Grounds, was a humble dwelling compared to the grandeur of Lotus Pier or Cloud Recesses but it was home. It offered a safe place for anyone who had nowhere else to go. His disciples were small in number, as only a select few had the right temperament to walk the path of Demonic Cultivation, but he treasured them all with everything he had and he never turned people away. Even if all he could teach them were “cheap tricks”.
It was thanks to His Excellency Hanguang Jun that the establishment of the Wei Sect was received with little backlash. The name Yiling Patriarch was struck away. The truth of Wuxian’s golden core and what he did for Sect Leader Jiang when he was a teenager was spread widely in teahouses and brothels until every commoner and cultivator alike knew the story inside and out. Everything he had done with Lan Zhan to defeat Jin Guangyao was revealed too. Wei Wuxian was considered a hero practically overnight - he was not Wei Wuxian, Yiling Patriarch, scourge of the Earth. Instead he was Sect Leader Wei, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, a cultivation path that was formally recognised by the other sects. Wuxian owed Lan Zhan an unimaginable debt for all that he had done.
Of course, Wuxian was not an idiot. He knew that the Sects did not trust him and that many were waiting for the other shoe to drop. That they were biding their time until the day he messed up so that they could all point fingers and say: “Aha! I knew it! He was always rotten to the core! People never change!”. It was to be expected. Wuxian, however, had become an expert and ignored these jibes. Besides, he was so far removed from the cultivation world that such sentiment barely reached him and what did was watered down by the people of Yiling who saw him as their benefactor and protector.
The wind got stronger and he continued to play, his fingers flying across Chenqing without much thought. It was almost second nature, playing Wuji, and required little to no conscious effort on Wuxian’s part. He let the music wash over him like ripples in a pond, clearing away the more volatile spots of resentful energy that had begun to cling to him. Sometimes, it was harder to shake.
“Wei Ying.”
He recognised that voice. He would know it anywhere, anytime. Even in death, he would know it. Wuxian stopped playing abruptly and spun around with wide, eager eyes.
There you are. Wuxian thought softly as his eyes fell upon His Excellency, Hanguang Jun. Lan Zhan.
The softness turned sour also immediately and he choked back a gasp as he focused on Lan Zhan properly, noticing the dirty brown stains marrying the otherwise pristine white robes and the blossoming bruise across his cheek. Bichen, Lan Zhan’s faithful sword, was digging into the grassy mountainside where he was leaning heavily on it.
“Lan Zhan!” He exclaimed, haphazardly shoving Chenqing into his belt and diving forwards to catch him as he stumbled, a small groan escaping his lips. “Lan Zhan, what happened to you?”
He numbly shook his head and Wuxian cursed under his breath. He tucked Bichen into his belt, where his own sword should sit if he still used one, and hoisted Wangji’s arm around his shoulder, effectively dragging him back to the Demon Grounds. The perks of having such a small sect was that many of his disciples were inside the sprawling buildings, doing self-study or enjoying their free time, and as such no one came running at the sight of a bloodied and bruised Chief Cultivator. None except one, anyway. Wuxian spotted his First Disciple, a young and talented Cultivator named Li Jie, running over hastily. He scrambled to a halt in front of both men and bowed quickly.
“Sect Leader Wei! What’s happened? Is that His Excellency Hanguang Jun?” The questions came one after another in quick succession and Wuxian held up his hand.
“First Disciple Li.” He greeted the young man. “Please head to the Hall of Healing and gather some of the healing pastes. Bring them to my chamber.”
“Yes, Sect Leader! Right away!” He bowed once more before sprinting away, his shoes slapping against the stone pathways.
Wuxian approached his living quarters and slid open the door, pulling Lan Zhan inside and using his foot to kick it shut. With some difficulty, he got him over to the bed and gently laid Wangji down, taking off his boots and pushing his feet upon the bed. Now that he was laying down, his wounds could be seen more clearly. Many had been caused by a guqin. Others by the sword. He had multiple cuts and bruises and what looked to be a rather nasty bruised rib, if the awkward position Lan Zhan laid in was any indication. Exactly what had happened? Wuxian opened his mouth, intending to ask just that, when he noticed Lan Zhan’s eyes beginning to roll and his eyelids started to droop.
“Lan Zhan!” He said, panicked. “Please stay awake. Come on, you need to keep your eyes open. Just for a little while longer.”
“Mn.”
There was a knock on the door, followed by the sound of it sliding open. Li Jie was at Wuxian’s side in seconds and dropped a basket by his feet. Inside were multiple jars, filled with healing balms prepared by physicians in Yiling.
“Water.” Wuxian said, turning back to Lan Zhan, pulling his robes away from his body to reveal his wounds. A bowl was placed at his side and he carelessly cast a hand out. A glowing character appeared above the bowl, drawing itself out in midair before dropping into the water and turning it hot. Wuxian dipped a cloth into it and began to carefully clean away the blood and dirt within Wangji’s wounds, wincing at some of the deeper ones. Lan Zhan was mostly quiet but the occasional whine reassured Wuxian that he was at least conscious. The water had to be changed three times until Wuxian deemed the wounds clean enough and he grabbed one of the jars. The paste was made from ginseng and pennywort and promoted healing. Lan Zhan’s immensely powerful golden core would take care of the rest. Once that was done, Li Jie assisted in wrapping the bandages around Lan Zhan whilst Wuxian kept him propped up.
“Lan Zhan.” Wuxian whispered. “These clothes have to be uncomfortable, right? Are you happy for me to change you into something else? Nod or shake your head.”
“…Mn.” He murmured with a small nod of his head.
Wuxian turned to his First Disciple. “Wait outside for a moment, please.” Lan Zhan would be embarrassed enough that Wuxian would see him undressed - there was no need to make it more uncomfortable for him.
“Of course, Sect Leader.” He said and moved to the doorway, opening and shutting the door much more gently than Wuxian would have done.
It took a few awkward attempts but Wangji was eventually re-dressed in an old red sleeping robe of Wuxian’s. It was a little too small, baring his wrists and gaping at the chest to reveal tightly wrapped bandages, but it was soft and warm and not covered in blood, so Wuxian saw it as a win. Grabbing an extra blanket, he laid it over Lan Zhan and gently removed his guan so that could rest his head comfortably. Lan Zhan was asleep within seconds.
“Li Jie, could you come back in?” Wuxian called out softly.
His First Disciple entered quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound as he approached the bed. “Yes, Sect Leader?”
“Would you be able to spare some spiritual energy? I think if we both give him some, it will kick-start his healing a bit. His body isn’t used to such injuries and even a golden core as strong as Hanguang Jun’s will need encouragement.” Wuxian was aware he was rambling, as he tended to do when he was nervous, but thankfully Li Jie was polite. He reminded Wuxian of Lan Yuan very much.
“Of course, Sect Leader.”
Both men leaned forwards and placed two fingers against Lan Zhan; Li Jie opted for his wrist whilst Wuxian rested two fingers gently on his temple, brushing aside some of his long hair to do so. As their energy funnelled into Wangji his face grew more settled and calm, his golden core beginning to respond and stabilise his meridians. Wuxian’s energy worked a little differently to most cultivators. He did have a golden core, or Mo Xuanyu’s body did at least, but it was weak and contributed little to his cultivation work. It was nothing like the strong, glowing core he had as a teenager. In this body, however, it mattered little. Anything he lacked was made up for by the enormous amounts of resentful energy that ran through Wuxian. The presence of his core, regardless of how pitiful it was, cleared any of the more vicious energy from him and for anything else he played Wuji and pushed a little cleansing cultivation into it; a technique he had borrowed from the Lan Sect. As such, his spiritual energy would not work in the same way Li Jie’s would. For his First Disciple, his energy would diffuse directly into Lan Zhan’s golden core, bolstering it from the inside out. Wuxian’s offered support for that to happen, like the beams that hold up a bridge. He made sure the blanket covered Lan Zhan properly - he had been told that his energy felt like ice.
They kept at it for the better part of an hour before Li Jie pulled his fingers away and sighed tiredly.
”Thank you.” Wuxian said quietly, his eyes never leaving Lan Wangji’s face. It remained peaceful.
“It was my honour, Sect Leader Wei. Will he be okay?”
“Yes I ... I think so. He’ll heal, anyway.” To himself, he whispered, "He'll come back to me.”
If Li Jie thought his Sect Leader was acting oddly, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he forced himself to stand upright and bowed politely to Wuxian.
“I will send a message to the physicians in Yiling and ask them to check on His Excellency this evening. If it is okay with you, Sect Leader, I am going to rest as I feel rather drained.” As well he would - Li Jie was a very strong disciple but his normal cultivation tended to fall behind as there was little Wuxian could teach him practically. He had all of the theory but Mo Xuanyu’s core was not strong enough for a demonstration of the techniques. It led to a rather sideways education that worked well in some aspects and fell down in others.
“Oh! Of course, please rest! I really can’t thank you enough...” Wuxian trailed off, his eyes going back to the sleeping Jade. “Yes, please inform the physicians. My medical knowledge comes from the scrawled notes of an old friend. Advice from an actual doctor would be good.”
Li Jie bowed once more and headed for the door of the bedroom, turning before he exited.
“Perhaps you should play for him, Sect Leader Wei.” The senior disciple said quietly before leaving, slowly sliding the door shut behind him.
As per his suggestion, Wuxian tugged Chenqing out of his belt and lifted it to his lips, fingers flying across the flute as their song filled the small cottage.
Please wake up soon. He pleaded. Please come back to me, Lan Zhan.
///
“Wei Ying?” The croaky voice came from the bed and he immediately shot to his feet, the pages he had been writing on long forgotten. He was next to the bed in an instant and lowered himself down carefully, perching next to the pale figure. The gold eyes of Lan Wangji looked back at him, filled with a mixture of emotions.
“I’m here Lan Zhan! You’re awake, I can’t … how are you feeling?” He said tenderly, catching himself mid-sentence, and his hand subconsciously reached for Wangji’s arm.
“I’m not in pain?” He spoke plainly though Wuxian heard the slight lilt that turned it into a question.
“No. I treated you initially, though you have since been under the care of physicians from Yiling. You’ve been asleep for nearly 2 days because of the pain medicine you have been given. It makes you drowsy.” Sighing a little, Wuxian pulled his hand away from Wangji’s arm and rested it in his lap. “The physicians said that with your golden core as strong as it is, perhaps only another day of rest will be needed before you will be healed well enough to move around.”
“Mn.” Lan Zhan replied, his eyes falling shut. “Play for me.”
Wuxian complied, playing Wuji until his breath evened out. It was evening when he woke again and the physician’s were present. As his eyes opened they seemed pleased that he was conscious whilst they were there. They conversed with him quietly before turning to Wuxian.
”Sect Leader Wei. He is well enough to sit up and move around. Though we would advise against strenuous activity, so strictly no cultivation use for the next three weeks. Drawing his sword could damage his meridians even more than his injuries did and he may not recover so well next time.” Physician Yang fixed Wuxian with a rather serious stare and he quailed. It was the same look Wen Qing used to give him. Perhaps it was a physician thing. He understood that he was just trying to impress the seriousness of the situation upon him, however.
“Of course. Thank you for all of your help and expertise, Physician Yang.”
He inclined his head politely. “It is as ever my privilege and honour, Sect Leader Wei. Your Excellency.” He bowed and then left, a steady silence filling the room.
“I suppose you wish to know what happened.” Lan Zhan remarked, his eyes finding Wuxian’s across the room. He noted the deep rooted sadness within the mirage of gold and his heart twinged - just what had he been through?
“Only if you’re happy to tell me.” He hastened to remind the other man.
“I was kicked out of Cloud Recesses. I am no longer Chief Cultivator.” He said the words simply though they kicked all of the air out of Wuxian’s lungs.
A thousand questions rushed to the tip of his tongue and he bit his lip to stop himself from overwhelming Lan Zhan with them. Lan Wangji had been removed as Chief Cultivator and kicked out of his home? His mind was reeling. What could have happened for such a drastic decision to have taken place?
”Why?” He spluttered.
“I did not follow Master Qiren’s instructions.” His head tipped to the side in an approximation of a shrug; the best he could manage whilst propped up on pillows and his entire chest bandaged tightly.
“What ... what do you mean?” It felt like someone was tightening a noose around Wuxian’s throat.
It was strange - Wuxian had not seen Lan Zhan since they had parted ways upon the mountaintop five years ago and their correspondence through letters was sadly sparse. Both men were kept busy, with little free time to keep up with each other’s lives when their own were so hectic. Though facing him now, as he sat up in the bed, Wuxian could read his expressions just as easily as he could back then. Wangji’s eyebrows twitched slightly as Wuxian asked the question, a sign of his discomfort. It would not reflect kindly upon his uncle, then. Wuxian may never have thought much of Lan Qiren but he was the man that had raised Wangji. He could understand the difficulty in accepting his cruelty.
“Since I became His Excellency, uncle wished for me to marry and produce an heir. My brother is … not yet fit for such things.”
It was an ongoing scandal within the cultivation world. Even 5 years after Jin Guangyao’s defeat, Lan Xichen was still in seclusion. He handled basic duties, such as correspondence and placing his vote in clan matters, but he never attended any internal or external political meetings. The title of Sect Leader had fallen to the only remaining member of their immediate family, Lan Jingyi, a decision that neither he nor anyone else from the Lan Sect liked. Lan Zhan, naturally, would have been a better fit but the duties of Chief Cultivator had tripled since the position was held by Wen Ruohan and Jin Guangshan, and he did not have the time to fully devote himself to both his natal sect and the rest of the cultivation sects. So, he had made his decision - he would be Chief Cultivator and Lan Jingyi would be Sect Leader until such time as Lan Xichen was fit to return to duty. Lan Qiren, it was decreed, would remain a close advisor to Jingyi.
“A Lady from the Qinghe Nie Sect, recently widowed, travelled to Gusu after an invitation from uncle. It was announced she was to be my wife; a fortuitous and auspicious match. She was a strong cultivator and her family had held a position of power in Qinghe for over 300 years. She was also willing to marry me. I understand that my personality puts many people off. I kindly rejected her. I told both her and uncle that I did not wish to marry, nor have an heir. I already have a son. She accepted this gracefully. Uncle did not.”
“So he, what? Just attacked you?” Wuxian shook his head in disbelief. Lan Qiren was many things but reckless and prone to anger were not among them. In many ways, he was the epitome of the rules carved into the mountainside at Cloud Recesses. Wuxian rubbed his temple tiredly, adding, “I’m sure he is, but A-Yuan, is he safe?”
“I sent a message to him before I escaped. He and Wen Ning should be headed here.”
Wuxian nodded heavily, the worry subsiding slightly. Wen Ning would protect Lan Sizhui with his life and there was not much that could kill the Ghost General. He turned his mind back to what Lan Wangji said. Or didn’t say.
“Did he really attack you?” Wuxian whispered.
“I was attacked as I headed back to my jingshi.” Lan Zhan confirmed with a nod. “I could not say if my uncle was among them. Many had covered their faces. It was cowardly and against the rules of our Sect. They were convinced, however, that I was guilty of far more than rejecting a marriage proposal.”
That was a lot to unpack and Wuxian pushed it aside for the moment. One thing at a time.
“I still don’t fully understand.” He said, a small frown tugging at his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t you just .. marry her and give them an heir? Do you find it ... unpleasant?”
He felt cruel saying the words out loud, especially when they were constantly whispered behind Wangji’s back. Prude, frigid, unloveable. The other cultivators were mean, especially as teenagers. Even if he made no reaction, Wuxian knew that the words affected Lan Zhan by the way he used to stiffen up, his expression somehow becoming even more blank and he would always move further away from the group.
“There is only one person.” Was Lan Zhan’s reply and Wuxian startled slightly. Only one person he’d sleep with? What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“So ... why didn’t you ask them to marry you? So you could have an ... heir?” Wuxian had to force the words out and they tasted bitter in his mouth. Jealousy was truly a vile emotion. 5 years had passed and there was not so much of an inkling that his … feelings were returned. To expect as much was foolish and selfish.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice did not falter as he spoke his rebuttal.
“Lan Zhan?”
“You, Wei Ying.” He murmured. “You are the only person.”
Wuxian’s heart skipped multiple beats and his jaw fell slack; for once, he was speechless. Could he really…? All of those years of dismissing his feelings and explaining them away. All of those years of contention and heartbreak and loss. The quiet admission Wuxian made to himself five years ago, as they parted for the last time. Could Lan Zhan really love him back? In the same aching and endless way Wuxian realised he loved him? It felt like a dream and Wuxian resisted the urge to pinch himself.
“Lan Zhan…” He said weakly, unable to say much else.
Wangji had been watching Wuxian’s face closely but his eyes fluttered shut at the mention of his name, tumbling from Wuxian’s lips. “It is too much for me to explain.” He opened his eyes and gold filled Wuxian’s vision. “Perform Empathy. Feel for yourself.”
“Are you sure? The Physician said no cultivation work…”
“I will not put any power into it, except directing my memories. I promise to not use my cultivation.” Seeing that it would not win Wuxian over, he added, “I trust you.”
Wuxian nodded once, slowly, and tentatively placed his hands into Lan Zhan’s, closing his eyes and reaching out for his memories. They barrelled into him all at once along with a thousand varied emotions and he had to concentrate to wade through them all.
A teenage Wei Wuxian, decked out in Gusu white, appeared before him, teasing and jesting Lan Zhan. Wuxian watched as he fought Lan Zhan on the rooftop, followed him around Cloud Recesses like a lovesick puppy, and slipped him the porn book during his punishment in the library. Every time Lan Zhan would react angrily, cursing Wuxian’s name, but when he turned away his heart would thump widely and heat would spread across his cheeks. Wuxian’s smile made his heart soar with happiness and he contented himself to simply watching as Wuxian pratted about with Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang.
Wuxian watched as he approached the rabbits, gently picking one of them up and stroking its small head.
“How does he manage to make me feel so flustered? What does this mean?” He begged the small rabbit as though it held all of the answers he anxiously needed.
The scene changed.
Wuxian felt sick this time. Horrifically, violently sick with worry. It had been 2 months since he had gone missing, stuck in the Burial Grounds, he realised. Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng had been searching for him and trying their best to help in the Sunshot Campaign. Jiang Cheng was struggling to deal with the pressures of becoming Sect Leader. Lan Zhan was weighed down with the horrific emotional weight of anxiety, every breath he took searing with pain. Wuxian’s own chest burned as he lived through Lan Zhan’s memories.
The scene changed.
“Wei Wuxian!” His voice was harsh and cold but Wuxian could feel his heart breaking. He was begging him with everything he had. His chest was so constricted with worry it was hard to breathe. Please. He pleaded. Please stay by my side.
“Lan Wangji.” Was all Wuxian replied to him and his cold eyes glimmered red.
“I’ve lost him.” Lan Zhan thought and it felt as though Lan Zhan’s chest had been hollowed out. Wuxian may as well have stabbed him through the heart. Not for the first time, he found himself wanting to smack his younger self. He was so stupid.
The scenes kept changing. Lan Zhan confided in his brother that he wanted to keep Wuxian safe in Cloud Recesses. Lan Zhan watching Wuxian show off the power of the Yin Iron in the battle against Wen Ruohan. Lan Zhan having lunch with him and A-Yuan in Yiling, his heart the most content it had been in months.
Lan Zhan watched as Wuxian controlled thousands of fierce corpses in the battle against the Sects as they fought to kill him and take the Yin Iron for themselves.
Lan Zhan’s shattered heart as he fell off the cliff.
His defence of the Burial Mounds where he fought cultivator after cultivator, even those of his own Sect to stop them from besieging it.
It was 16 long, dark years for him. Only little A-Yuan helped him from completely lapsing into the darkness. To all others he was cold, shut off and completely unapproachable. Only to A-Yuan did he smile and speak softly and sing.
Wuxian’s heart almost burst as he watched Lan Zhan hear a flute playing on Dafan Mountain. His joy and hope were overwhelming and he could feel his hammering heartbeat as he gripped Wuxian’s wrist to halt the playing. The other memories passed quickly but Lan Zhan’s heartbeat began to form words:
“Wei Ying. Wei Ying. Wei Ying.” He never left Wuxian’s side until he had to. His love for him never once wavered, even when he had truly succumbed to the resentful energy. He waited for Wuxian for 16 years and then he waited even longer.
Wuxian pulled himself out of Empathy with some difficulty, grunting as the memories clung to him like lingering cobwebs, and stared at Lan Zhan with wide eyes. A single tear had rolled down his cheek.
“I am not good with words.” He admitted. “But Wei Ying ... I love you. I will only ever love you. My heart, my life, my energy, my body ... all of it is yours.” Wuxian’s thumb grew a mind of its own as he reached up, swiping gently across the skin to wipe away his tears.
There was silence for a few moments as Wuxian grappled with what he wanted to say and when he spoke, it exploded out of him. “Lan Zhan!! I like you, I fancy you, I love you, I … I whatever you! I love you with so much passion it sometimes feels like it will consume me. My life is yours. Everything I am is yours and it always has been. I think I have known that for a long time but I could never admit it to myself. You are the other half of my soul.”
“Wei Ying.” His voice ached with - everything. Love and pain and relief.
There was so much Wuxian wanted to do in that moment but he contented himself with a soft brush of their lips, one that made Wangji gasp happily. When he pulled back, the Second Jade’s expression was incandescent with happiness and Wuxian was sure his own giddy look matched. He took Lan Zhan’s hand and held it tightly, unable to pull his attention away.
“Sect Leader Wei?” The voice came through the door and he sighed.
“Yes, Li Jie?”
“Young Master Lan and Young Master Wen have arrived.”
“Bring them here.”
“Sect Leader Wei.” Wuxian watched as Li Jie’s shadow bowed before he departed.
Wei Ying turned back to Lan Zhan, who was still watching him with a wonderful soft smile. Not for the first time and undoubtedly not for the last either, Wei Ying wondered how he could be so lucky. There were many pretty women and handsome men in the cultivation world and Lan Zhan had picked him!! Even though his body had changed to that of someone else, he picked him. It seemed incomprehensible. The silence between them was calm and steady, an understanding settling between them both that needed no conversation.
The moment was interrupted by Li Jie’s respectful, ”Sect Leader Wei? Young Master Lan and Young Master Wen are here.”
”Come in, A-Yuan, Wen Ning.”