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This was it.
This was the end.
He was gone now.
Her laboured breaths echoed in her ears as she did not have the strength to do anything more than that. She lay there, on the cold, flat ground and time seemed to have stopped. Her eyes closed on their own as she hovered between consciousness and unconsciousness. Feeling the darkness clouding her eyes and every time, Rey was convinced these would be her last moments. She wasn’t frightened about her impending death, she rather welcomed it.
If these were to be her last breaths, then so be it.
But, slowly, so slowly, her senses returned to her and her mind began to recognize the quietness of Exegol. Lying still on the ground, she began to feel the small pebble digging into her thigh and the grainy sand of the ground beneath her arms and legs. At one point, she stretched her arms and felt the smaller rocks. A part of her wanted to go back to sleep, caring little about what happened next but somehow, the makers of the galaxy wanted her to remain alive.
Becoming aware of and alert to her surroundings, she moved her leg when she couldn’t tolerate the pebble under her thigh any longer, her lower back beginning to complain from lying too long in the same position.
Even with the creature gone, with the crowd of dark-siders probably lying dead amongst the ruins of the citadel, Rey still managed to sense the evil surrounding Exegol through the Force.
Opening her eyes, Rey’s vision sharpened slowly. Looking upwards, she could only see wisps of dark clouds in a dark horizon. Moving to see what was beyond her, Rey felt something beside her. Turning her head slightly, she could make out a large shape lying there. She gulped.
Could it be?
Ben Solo was laying on his side next to her, his head on the ground with his hands extended as if trying to reach for her.
Then she remembered.
He had given up his life for her before everything went black.
“ No !” She whispered desperately, ignoring the cries of her battered body as she scooted closer to him. She struggled to her knees and leaned over Ben’s body, touching his chest and trailing her fingers to his neck where, to her utter relief, the skin was still warm. A few more checks and she knew he was still with her.
Ben Solo was still alive.
Tears running down her cheeks, she leaned down, brushing away the hair from his face.
As though feeling her presence, he jerked slightly and Rey felt a sigh coming from him. His brows frowned and his head turned slightly.
“Ben,”she called softly.
His eyes finally opened as his head snapped towards her. With her help, he sat on the ground and looked around him and down at his body, stretching his hands in front of him, probably coming to terms of his fate.
His destiny had chosen another path than the one he had chosen himself.
When the reality began to sink in, he looked at Rey and their breaths hitched before she threw herself on him, clinging to him for dear life. They remained locked in their embrace, immersed in tears, love and beyond all, the one thing they never thought they’d have before, hope .
They had lived through the horror.
They were both still alive.
They were now together.
------
They didn’t speak on their way to the Rebel base, Ajan Kloss, simply sitting quietly behind Chewie and Lando on the Falcon, who had somehow managed to find them.
They arrived on the planet and walked down the ship's ramp together. Rey knew what was going to happen as soon as their eyes fell on Ben.
At first, it was pure shock.
Shock that the Supreme Leader of The First Order, the monster everyone feared, had willingly come to their lair.
Weapons were raised immediately, the security enforcers circling him, waiting for Kylo Ren to attack. The crowd that had been waiting to welcome Rey back soon noticed Ben and the cheers turned into angry cries.
Rey, who by now was in the middle of a group hug consisting of Finn, Poe and Rose, tried to interfere, dearly wanting to defend and protect Ben from any attempts on his life but a small nod from Ben as their eyes met made her stop. She felt his thoughts through their bond.
I’ll be okay.
Instead, she watched as the enforcers carefully took several steps, their weapons still raised and muttered something to Ben before he took a step forward.
“Put him in the holding cell, guys,” Dameron commanded.
Ben and the enforcers began to walk away from Rey and her group. She tried to break away from the group hug but their hold was too strong. Frowning, she looked desperately at him and Ben, probably sensing her emotions, turned his head towards her and smiled warmly before he disappeared into an unnamed building.
----
He was confined to a room he suspected was just a regular room converted into a 'holding cell'. It was small, painted green. It had a bed that was way too small for him, a desk and a table. It didn’t have a window but he couldn’t care less. He chose to remain cautious. He may have survived, he may be breathing but everything was far from settled.
Who knows how many people were waiting to get a chance to kill him outside these very walls? Maybe he was still alive after several days because the Resistance was busy planning his execution. Ben knew he could easily force his way into the minds of its members to find out the truth, to know what they were thinking of doing with him, but he found that he couldn’t care less.
She was nearby.
He felt her.
He didn’t need any more than that.
------
It happened from the first night they were on Ajan Kloss.
He sat on his mattress, contemplating the events that had led to this, uncertain whether he was happy or not about the results, about living , when she appeared before him. All doubts disappeared when he looked at her in the flesh (or as solidly as she appeared before him). She wore that ethereal white outfit, the battle having been washed off her and her hair was down, the brown locks shining in the half darkness.
“Ben,” she whispered so softly his heart threatened to combust at that moment. Rushing to him, she kneeled down. Her toothy grin made his own appear. As opposed to the first time they had touched, Rey did not hesitate and placed both her hands on his cheeks. He let out a sigh at the feel of her small, cold hands. Looking up at him, she smiled and he sensed the relief, the longing, the love from her through the Force.
Rey pushed herself up onto her feet and placed her legs on each side of his, straddling him. Ben held his hands in the air, completely surprised by her actions until he succumbed to her sweetness and dared not deny his yearning any longer, wrapping his arms around her.
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that but Ben didn’t care. She was in his arms, finally. A dyad, together. The sense of fullness, the sense of peace, the sense of knowing that no matter what, no one could destroy their bond made everything around him irrelevant.
He pressed her hard against this chest, feeling her body heat against his, her hands wrapped up in his hair, lazily twirling his dark curls. He loved feeling every muscle, every bone on her back. He loved placing his hand on the back of her neck, squeezing very gently.
This moment was neither erotic or romantic, Ben told himself. This moment was just discovering what it was to be a dyad.
Perhaps the oracle was right after all.
No.
The oracle had been right, all along.
He loved this woman.
He would move galaxies and planets to make her smile and if this was to be his last day alive, then he would be happy that he had spent it with her. Fuck, seeing her would have been enough (and it had been as he felt himself leave this world when he gave the last of his strength back to her and watched her open her eyes).
They forgot about time. They forgot about the guards that could come at any moment. They forgot about the uncertain future, because they were together. They were complete.
At one point they lay in the bed, lying on their sides, eyes locked. Rey curled her leg over Ben’s and she scooted closer, placing her hand over his heart. They smiled, oh did they smile until their jaws ached. Their hands explored one another. He liked touching her arms, her back, her stomach, her thighs through her clothes. A part of him wanted to explore more, explore the skin hiding beneath but he wanted to wait. Wait until he got the chance to actually feel her in the flesh (if he were so lucky) and not through the bond.
He woke up later, alone in his bed. He could almost swear the empty side was still warm, a sign that confirmed she had not been a product of his imagination.
The bond continued to bring them together over the following nights, and they spent them mostly in silence, staring at one another, knowing that the unforeseeable future could pull them apart at any time.
-----
Ben suddenly bolted from his bed, feeling a disturbance in the Force. Bringing his feet to the ground, Ben checked his surroundings, expecting an incoming doom. The room remained empty and quiet as it always had been. He merged into the Force and sensed an uproar forming: anger and retaliation.
Rey .
He stood up and looked at the bolted door.
Something was wrong.
Rey .
She was struggling with something.
He could feel the light from her nearby, like a sun hidden behind a thick grey cloud. She felt so close, he could almost smell her.
Feeling the darkness surrounding her, Ben went to the door, letting out a curse when he realised it was still bolted as it had always been.
He waited for several minutes and the feelings did not die down, they only increased.
Growing nervous that something might be happening to Rey, that someone might hurt her, Ben could stand it no longer. He returned to his cot, sitting down and closing his eyes. He sensed her through the Force and although he did not want to do this again, go inside her mind, Ben let Rey know through their bond that he was there. Sensing a thoughtful nod, Ben felt her mind open, almost like a door opening and he entered.
He couldn't see anything but felt her mind, thoughts racing.
She was in a room filled with people, angry people. They were shouting, demanding justice, demanding revenge. Demanding the head of the Former Supreme Leader, the one that brought the galaxy into chaos, the one that was accountable for so many deaths.
They wanted to execute Kylo Ren.
Voices shouted, fists landed hard on the table, chairs were thrown on the floor.
Rey from Jakku stood at the end of the table, receiving all of these threats and while she should have been scared, Ben could sense her defiance. She wasn’t near to caving in to these fools’ demands. Quite the opposite, she was fighting for him.
“ Hosnian Prime was not by his orders, ” he heard her say angrily. “ That was Snoke and Hux. He didn’t have a choice in the matter .”
He couldn’t hear what the others were saying but Ben felt the fire in her mind.
“ You will not touch him ,”she snarled. “ He may have done bad in this world but he has learned, he has seen the light. What would it say about us if we were to execute a man that was under the control of the most unscrupulous person in the known galaxy? While his decisions are regrettable, he was as much a victim as we were. He’s escaped his tormentor and he is now free from his clutches. Ben Solo deserves a chance and I will not let any harm come to him.”
-------
She had forced him out of her mind after that outburst.
He paced back and forth in the room, the stress getting to him .
If anything should happen to her…
Just as he was unable to stand it any longer and blowing the doors apart with a snap of his fingers felt like the best solution, they suddenly opened.
Ben ran straight to the door, expecting Rey. He stopped midway when the guards outside his door pointed their weapons at him. Oh, how he wanted to break their necks with a single bend of a finger, he thought darkly, before noticing the tiny woman with her well-known glasses.
“ Ben Solo.” Her voice echoed across his chamber.
“Maz Kanata.” He sighed, the tension noticeable.
The tiny woman turned to the guards, nodding her head before they lowered their weapons and closed the door behind her.
Without any hesitation, Maz Kanata walked towards him, turning at the goggles on her glasses, her tiny eyes suddenly growing wider. She practically glued herself to him, looking up intently. “Ben Solo! It’s really you,” she whispered in awe, a faint smile forming on her lips. She grabbed his hand and held on tight. “I always thought you were going to be a cheeky, adventurous lad who would break a lot of hearts, like your father. I never expected for you to be captivated by one girl,” she smirked. “You truly are your mother’s son.”
Ben did not know whether to feel insulted or touched by the old family friend that had seen him grow since he was in his mother’s womb.
Nevertheless, he let out a dry sob. He glared at her before looking at the door.
“Don’t worry kiddo, she’s fine,” Maz said softly. “She’s a feisty one. That girl won’t let anyone hurt you. She’s threatening to use her lightsaber if they keep it up. I think she got her point across when she pulled it out of her belt.”
“If they want my head, let them have it,” Ben muttered, lowering his shoulders. “It wouldn’t be undeserving. I made my decisions. I made my choices.”
“You have but you’re alive, Ben. You are alive. And besides, Rey won’t let you die. She’s adamant and she’s repeated that several times. You deserve a second chance, boy.”
“Do I?” He asked, hunching his shoulders as his eyes were glued to the floor. It was probably the first time he asked himself why he had survived this long. He had caused so much destruction. “Death is the only end I ever deserved.” The thought lay heavy on his heart.
He had never expected to live this long.
He heard Maz sigh.
“Hosnian Prime was not your call, Ben,” she said pointedly. “You are not responsible for the destruction of that system.”
“But I did not stop it,” he replied bitterly, his voice trembling at the regret that was now displaying itself.
“No, you didn’t but it wasn’t your call. It wasn’t you who made the Dreadnought chase your mother’s ship.”
“I might have blown it into pieces…” he said, haunted, his eyes empty, remembering how his finger had lingered over the button as he considered pushing it. The memory of his mother connecting to him briefly. “But I just couldn’t.”
“When your mother told me, I knew you were still Ben Solo, not that masked monster. You’ve always been Ben Solo and you still are .” She stepped closer and looked up at him. Tugging at his shirt, she made him lower himself so that they were an equal height. Maz stared intently until she smiled softly, brushing her hand over his cheek. “You are still the little boy with the big ears, running after Chewie, always ready to go on an adventure on the Falcon.”
He pushed back the tears that threatened to form. “I’ve done so much wrong,” he said stoically, regaining his composure. “I have to pay for my mistakes…”
Maz put a hand on her hip and lifted an eyebrow, pursing her lips. “Boy, you can pay for your mistakes by living. That girl over there,” she pointed to the door. “She’s willing to throw her life away so that you can get a second chance.” Her finger pointed towards him. “Don’t screw it up. I’m rooting for you.”
Before he could react, she turned around and knocked on the door. The two guards stood at the door as it opened and glared at Ben, pointing their weapons at him as Maz left, glancing at him one last time before she disappeared from his view.
Ben fell down on the cot and stared at the door for the longest of times.
-----
Somehow, he managed to sleep because the next time he opened his eyes, the room had darkened for the night.
Ben couldn’t feel the dark energy surrounding the base anymore. Half awake, he could feel the calm of night. He turned around to see Rey lying on her side, her arm underneath her head. She was awake and had been crying, her eyes dark and puffy. He could only imagine that he had been the reason for her current status.
In the dimmed light of the room, she stared at him in wonder. She wasn’t smiling or upset. She just stared, like she often did whenever they were together through the bond.
He didn’t mind her stare even if he had so many questions. Why are you risking your life for me? He stared back and for a while, they were drowning in the other’s gaze.
“Ben,” she said, a tear falling down her cheek. “I don’t want to lose you.” Her voice was so soft, so desperate, so passionate, so defeated .
He knew why she was crying. Somehow, he knew deep inside that the day of his imminent death would be coming soon, if not by the decision of a court, by the hand of some lunatic that wanted justice. He could have said so many things. He could have lamented his death but he had long been at peace with it. Nevertheless, his heart broke at seeing his other half weep for him. “I want you to be happy, Rey,” he whispered in her ear. “I don’t want to be the cause of your despair. I’m...” he sighed, struggling with his words. “I’m not worth it.”
Rey snapped her head back, her hair sticking to her face, her eyes swollen by tears. “ Don’t you dare say that, Ben Solo! ” She snarled. “Don’t you dare! I finally found my family, Ben. You . My other half, my dyad. The Force chose us, brought us together. We are of royal blood and we’ve been given such a destiny. I cannot lose you when I’ve just found you.”
He pulled her close and crushed her to his chest, holding her tight. Maybe this was going to be their last time, who knew?. Maybe he’d be able to come back like Uncle Luke had, be a ghost and haunt Rey with sound advice until she probably shooed him away for being too annoying.
How long they stayed like this, he didn't know nor did he care. Just being with her, in whatever state, was good enough for him.
-----
He woke up alone.
Ben looked around the room and felt that today was different. Through the Force, he felt excitement in the air. He suspected the anticipation was due to his imminent execution. As he thought more about it, he grew nervous. He would be lying if he denied that he had butterflies in his stomach. Something was going to happen and he didn’t know what it was.
Maybe today would be his last day.
He gulped and couldn’t quite grasp what he was feeling. Was he happy? Was he sad? Afraid? All of the above? He wasn’t sure. He looked back at his life, knowing that he had not been given the best odds, heck, he had never been given any good odds.
Death had always been there, waiting to grab him.
Hours went by and the excitement was reaching its zenith. He could feel it through the Force. Sitting on the bed, his foot began to tap impatiently on the floor, his hands clammy. He felt ready to face whatever was coming for him. Whether it was an angry mob that was going to rip his limbs off, a paid assassin doing his job or a mourning parent seeking revenge for the murder of their child, he was ready for it.
What he did not expect was to see her .
Ben stood up abruptly, his chest plummeting to the floor.
She was standing in the flesh, by the now-opened door, her hair in disarray but still in her three buns, wearing her white outfit. Her eyes were just as puffy as they were last night, the bags underneath clearly visible. Chest heaving for breath, she stood still as she stared intently at him, her lips parted.
The oxygen seemed to have been sucked out of Ajan Kloss.
“ Ben! ” She whispered as she ran into his arms. The sensation of finally feeling her body in his arms overcame all of his senses, pulling her against his chest as he was wont to do. He could finally smell the generic soap she used in the rebel camp, her sweat and the faint motor grease (probably working on the Falcon, if it had survived the battle). Best of all, he could feel her heartbeat against his own, beating rapidly and fervently.
He could not have have had a happier death.
Overcome with so many feelings flowing from her through the Force, Ben simply held on to her, not knowing whether it would be the only opportunity he would ever have.
Before he knew what was happening, he finally felt it.
The tightening in his throat, a wetness in the corner of his eyes.
She was in his arms.
His other half.
His dyad.
One last time.
Small sobs escaped from both of them as they were overcome by the other’s presence.
It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, it could have been an eternity but they cared not. It wasn’t until Rey pulled back, her face matted with tears, that Ben returned to reality. He snapped his head to the opened doors that were missing its two guards. The exit was empty.
“Ben,” she said, her lips breaking into the brightest smile Ben had ever seen. “Ben, they’re letting us go. We’re leaving, on the Falcon.” Her hands cupped his cheeks as she pulled his forehead to hers. She laughed happily. “ We’re free! ”
He felt himself losing his balance as he listened to her speaking. Rey did not wait for him to say another word before she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room.
Feeling the warm humid air of the planet, Ben followed as Rey led him out of the base. At first they walked through different corridors until he saw the light and felt the hotter air. His eyes squinted as he got used to the setting sun. Their steps slowed down and once he grew accustomed to the natural light, Ben noticed a hoard of people standing on both sides, staring quietly as they passed. Some wore curious glances, some were hostile. He thought he saw the traitor or the pilot nearby, throwing deathly glances at him. Through the force he sensed the curiosity of these witnesses as the Former Supreme Leader walked by, holding hands with the so-called 'Last Jedi'. Who would have thought, who could have ever imagined they'd see a Palpatine and a Skywalker, united?
The Falcon waited for them, not too far away, ready to fly them to wherever they were meant to go.
Rey held his hand with one of hers, holding tightly to the saber with the other. Ben could sense her throwing cautious looks at the people around them. Ben gulped, still coming to terms with the fact that perhaps he had been wrong, perhaps he had really been given one last chance. Their footsteps slowed down until they both stopped next to the Falcon.
Ben dared to look up and saw gathering of people of all kinds, shapes and sizes. All eyes were locked on him.
“Rey,” the traitor pleaded. “Are you sure?”
Snapping his head towards him, Ben saw the doubt in the former stormtrooper’s eyes. Ben glanced at Rey but she simply squeezed his hand and looked back at Ben, grinning. “I’ve never been surer in my life, Finn.”
“But Rey…” he protested.
Finn was about to take a step closer towards Rey when a small green hand touched Finn’s chest, making the man stop. Poe Dameron pushed him back.
“It’s what they both want,” Maz Kanata’s voice said resolutely as she appeared between both rebellion generals, coming to the front. She greeted Ben, sending him a knowing eye. “She’s made her decision. We would do well not to interfere and let them leave. Their bond is beyond us.” She chuckled as she glanced at Ben. “I doubt we’d ever hear the end of it if they were to remain apart.”
“He should still be tried for his crimes,” Dameron’s voice cut in.
Maz tsk -ed the pilot. “None of us are innocent here. We have all caused irreparable damage. We cannot forgive Ben for what he has done but he has finally turned, his punishment might as well be to live . I swear to the maker that I hope you do not fail us, Ben Solo,” Maz muttered, looking up at him. “Go now. Go before this crowd changes its mind and demands your head.”
“Thank you, Maz. Thank you for everything,” Rey said through her tears, hugging the tiny woman one last time.
“I always knew your destiny lay elsewhere, child,” Ben heard the old woman mutter in Rey’s ears. Her tiny eyes darted towards Ben. She let go of Rey and walked over to him. He kneeled down awkwardly, enough to be eye to eye with the tiny woman. She passed a hand through his hair and smirked as she tilted her head in a motherly way. “Cherish the chance you’ve been given, boy.”
“I will, Maz, I will,” he choked out. He noticed Lando and Chewie standing nearby, in the background. Both man and Wookie nodded their heads. Ben thought he heard Lando muttering 'little starfighter'.
Maz nodded firmly before stepping back.
He looked at the crowd one last time, knowing he could never right the wrongs he had done but grateful that they were gracious enough to let him live. His lip curled slightly.
For once, he was grateful to be alive.
For once, he was at peace.
He glanced at Rey who beamed at him through her tears and grabbed his hands. They took deep breaths and entered the Millennium Falcon.
They were ready to take off within minutes, Rey in the captain’s seat, Ben next to her. Punching the buttons and fine tweaking the commands, Rey rested her hand on the steering column. She looked at him and they both stretched their arms, hands intertwining with one another.
“Ready?” She asked.
He nodded his head and smiled softly. “I’m with you, always.”
Before long, the Millennium Falcon raised from the ground and ascended up into the skies of Ajan Kloss, disappearing as it sped off into light speed.