Work Text:
Friendships are weird, Beca has decided.
The thing is, there are so many different levels of friendship. There’s those people who you count as friends, simply because it seems the only label appropriate for them, even though you’ve never actually hung out with them or connected with them at any point in the time you’ve known each other. There are class and work friends that you talk to all the time and genuinely enjoy their company and presence in your life, yet you would never for a second think about calling them up to go out on a Friday night.
Deep friendships are even more confusing. After knowing and living with the Bellas for roughly seven years, Beca assumed that she’d be kind of an expert when it came to tight-knit friendships.
Sadly, that is not the case.
Close friend relationships feel strangely like real relationships at times to Beca; close friends want to spend time together all the time. Close friends get jealous when someone spends more time with their other friends instead of with them. Close friends tell each other secrets that they would never tell another living soul about, simply because the trust that they share is that strong.
Not to mention that telling someone that they’re your best friend feels scarily similar to telling someone that you like them in a non-platonic way; laying out your feelings and leaving yourself vulnerable for disappointment in any capacity is always incredibly nerve-wracking.
Beca has felt all of these things in her time being friends with the Bellas- or, at least she’s felt all of these with one Bella in particular.
Chloe Beale is, without a doubt, the closest friend that Beca has ever had. Beca knows not whether Chloe was easily able to break down every single one of Beca’s carefully crafted walls due to Chloe’s natural personality or to her persistency, but they were torn down all the same. And now, seven years after their first meeting, Beca can say Chloe Beale is her best friend without a doubt in her mind.
Perhaps Chloe is on a whole other level of friendship by herself.
Which is why moving away from Chloe is one of the hardest things Beca has done in her entire life.
While the USO tour and the subsequent record deal with DJ Khaled had absolutely been a huge blessing for Beca, it did come with the unfortunate side effect of moving away from her small, cramped studio apartment in New York and relocating across the country to LA. And while the fact that Beca is finally getting her big break to do music the way she wants to do it is incredibly exciting, a part of her can’t help but wish that she could have brought a certain bubbly redhead along for the journey.
It’s not all bad, being away from Chloe.
Actually, scratch that- it’s pretty awful, but they’re doing the best with what they’ve got.
Frequent text messages, phone calls, and Facetime “dates” (as Chloe called them) were absolute essentials, and they promised each other to fly out and visit as often as their schedules would allow.
The weekend that Chicago breaks up with Chloe is the first weekend that Beca visits Chloe in New York. Prior to a crying Chloe calling Beca late Thursday night and telling her that she had been dumped, no plans had been made for Beca to fly out.
It’s funny how plans can change so quickly when one’s best friend needs emotional support.
When Chloe launches herself into Beca’s arms at the airport the next day, Beca can’t find it in herself to care about how quickly her plans had changed. She was right where she needed to be in that moment.
* * *
“Can you pass me the whipped cream?” Chloe asks, holding out her hand without tearing her eyes away from the movie in front of her. Beca obliges, handing Chloe the can of fluff and watching as she sprays a good amount directly into her mouth.
Their Friday night has so far mostly consisted of exactly this- this being sitting in front of Chloe’s laptop watching various movies whilst consuming sugar in a wide variety of forms.
The most recent movie they are watching, When Harry Met Sally, is coming to an end, and Beca pretends not to notice the way Chloe attempts to subtly wipe at her eyes as she cries quietly. The ending is sweet and nice and all that, although Beca can’t quite say that she’s all that surprised by it; the two best friends realize they love each other, one of them declares said love at some big party, and they share a kiss until the screen fades to black.
Typical movie stuff, really.
Chloe sniffs and finishes dabbing under her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before turning to face Beca. Beca smiles at her as reassuringly as she can.
“Good movie?” Beca asks lightly.
Chloe nods sadly. “I want what they have,” she laments.
“You will someday, Chlo. I know you will,” Beca consoles her, opening her arms so Chloe can cuddle up to her. Chloe accepts the invitation immediately, sliding across the couch and burrowing herself in Beca’s side. Chloe leans her head against Beca’s shoulder while Beca rubs soothing patterns on Chloe’s back through the fabric of her sweatshirt, pressing a gentle kiss against red curls.
They stay that way for a moment, quiet save for the sounds of the credits still rolling on the movie and the occasional sniffle from Chloe.
Chloe is eventually the one to break the silence. “I’m just- I’m so tired of having my heart broken. I’m tired of never being good enough for someone, and feeling worthless whenever things don’t work out.”
“You’re not worthless,” Beca immediately tells her, hand stalling on Chloe’s back. Chloe takes a second to respond, and she does so with a sigh.
“I know,” she admits, and Beca resumes her hand’s gentle movements. “It just sucks, you know? I wish I already knew who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to waste any more times on let downs or heart breaks.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Beca says gently. “But you’ll find someone soon; I know you will. And hey,” she adds on lightly, jostling Chloe slightly. “You’ve always got me, no matter what.”
Chloe chuckles and squeezes her arms tightly around Beca’s middle in gratitude. “I know I do. And I love you for that.”
Beca brings her arms around Chloe’s shoulders, returning her hug. “I love you, too, Chlo. Always.”
* * *
Chloe giggles and throws her arm around Beca’s shoulders before she can fall over. “That guy was grumpy.”
Beca rolls her eyes and turns slightly to flip off the bar they had just been kicked out of. “He was an asshole, is what he was.”
It had been Beca’s idea to go get drinks today, citing the need to distract Chloe from her breakup. Sure, the idea had come to her at eleven o’clock in the morning, and sure they had decided to go through with it within the following hour, and sure they probably drank way too much considering that fact that it was the middle of the day and got a little rowdy, but did that really warrant the owner of the bar kicking them out? Beca didn’t think it did.
Beca had promised to pay for all the glasses they broke. No harm done, really.
“Whatever, we’ll just go party somewhere else,” Chloe says adamantly, looking around the street they’re on for any other places they can occupy. She tries spinning around too fast and ends up almost falling to the ground, her death grip around Beca’s neck the only thing keeping her upright.
“Actually, I think it’s probably best if we get you home,” Beca decides, slipping an arm around Chloe’s waist and pulling their bodies closer together.
Chloe does not disagree.
Beca manages to wave down a taxi and the two of them slide into the back seat, Beca mumbling out Chloe’s address to the driver as they do so. Chloe leans her head back against the seat and rolls her head over to look at Beca, a goofy smile on her face. Beca looks back at her in amusement and reaches out to tuck a lock of red hair behind Chloe’s ear. Before Beca’s hand can pull away, Chloe catches it in her own and presses a soft kiss the palm.
The faint blush that rises to Beca’s face is a totally normal reaction.
The way Beca’s heart skips a beat may not be so normal.
Chloe keeps hold of Beca’s hand but lowers it to rest in her lap instead, a contemplative look on her face. Beca’s lips quirk up in a curious smile.
“What’re you thinkin’ about?”
“How I wanna kiss you.”
That stops Beca’s heart completely.
“Wh-what?” Beca stutters out, eyes widening.
“I want to kiss you,” Chloe repeats simply, smiling a little. She studies Beca for another moment before looking down at their still-tangled hands in her lap. “But we shouldn’t kiss, because we’re just friends.”
Chloe looks back at Beca with a teasing glint in her eye and Beca releases the breath she’s been holding in a puff. “You’re drunk,” she attempts to joke lightly.
“Mm, yeah, I am,” Chloe agrees, giggling. The tension in the cab dissipates and Beca rolls her eyes fondly, glancing one last time at Chloe before training her eyes out the window.
Chloe traces the lines of Beca’s palm and Beca resists the urge to shiver.
Maybe day drinking hadn’t been a great idea after all.
* * *
The next morning Chloe drives Beca to the airport, the two them slightly hungover but thankfully sober as opposed to how they spent most of yesterday some level of intoxicated.
Chloe insists on walking Beca to her gate, which Beca admittedly doesn’t mind one bit. She has no idea when she and Chloe are going to get to see each other in person again, so she figures it’s alright to be greedy and take every last moment with Chloe that she can get.
“Thank you so much for dropping everything to come see me this weekend,” Chloe tells Beca sincerely as they come to a stop by Beca’s gate. “You being here really meant a lot to me, and I- Well, just thank you.”
Beca shrugs casually. “I know, I’m kind of the greatest.” Chloe chuckles in responses and pushes at Beca’s shoulder lightly. Beca grins jokingly for a moment before becoming more serious. “It was no problem, really. If you ever need anything… all you have to do is ask and I’m there, alright?’”
Chloe blows out a quick breath, nodding once. “Alright.”
Beca’s flight is announced over the speakers above them, causing Chloe to wrap her arms tightly around Beca’s shoulders. Beca brings her own arms up to circle Chloe’s waist as she buries her face in Chloe’s shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent.
“Promise me you won’t get all big and famous and forget about me,” Chloe requests softly, her voice muffled from where her own face is pressed against Beca’s shoulder. Beca chuckles and shakes her head a little.
Chloe had said the same things when they’d said goodbye the first time, so Beca figures she can give her the same answer now as she did then.
“I could never forget about you, Chloe Beale.”
It’s only when Beca is miles up in the air, gazing out the tiny window of the plane with music pumping through her headphones that Beca understands why Chloe is so worried about Beca forgetting her.
Because Beca is scared that Chloe will forget about her, too.
It’s an irrational fear, really; after everything the two of them had been through together, it was near impossible that they would ever lose touch and stop talking to each other.
Still, distance was a daunting thing.
Beca could only hope that Chloe would miss her enough to remember her across the country.
She really shouldn’t that hope that Chloe would miss her, because they’re just friends and friends shouldn't worry about that type of thing, but she really can't help it.
Beca turns up the volume of the music on her headphones – loud enough to drown out her thoughts – and leans her head against the back of her seat in an attempts to turn off her brain and enjoy the flight.
Her efforts are decidedly less than successful.
* * *
Beca continues visiting Chloe in New York- anytime she has a free weekend she’s getting on a flight, really. It’s not like she needs any real excuse to go and see Chloe, she just… does.
Often.
Sometimes they go out and do stuff when Beca visits, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they get drunk and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes Chloe says things that makes Beca’s heart race and her cheeks flush and sometimes… actually, there’s no “sometimes” about that one. Chloe always says things that make Beca feel that way.
Inexplicably flustered, really.
It’s not a big deal.
This week’s visit is one of those “go out and drink” kind of visits. They’re not necessarily drunk, but Beca feels at least buzzed enough to feel warm and sentimental and a little clingy.
Which is why she figures it’s alright to hold onto Chloe’s arm as they wait by the bar for their drinks to arrive. And why it’s alright that Chloe’s hands keep seeming to find excuses to touch Beca: brushing loose hair away from her face, grabbing her hand as they walk through the crowded room, resting her hands lightly on Beca’s hips from her place behind Beca as they search for an empty booth. Why it’s fine that they end up sitting pressed against each other once they find a booth, giggling and sipping from their drinks while they catch up on things that have happened since Beca’s last visit.
They’re buzzed. Alcohol makes people act weird. It’s fine.
Beca spots some old lady shooting them dirty looks from across the room, which is weird since they’re not even doing anything crazy (this time). Beca honestly doesn’t know what her problem is.
She glares at the lady before focusing her attention back on Chloe, where it should’ve been all along anyways.
* * *
Beca doesn’t know exactly why she and Chloe are out on the fire escape smoking. If she’s being honest, she doesn’t even know how they got there. One minute they’d been talking about a one-eyed dog at Chloe’s clinic and the next they were outside passing a joint back and forth, talking shit about their exes.
“You know what I really hated about Jesse?” Beca asks, taking a long drag from the joint. Chloe hums in acknowledgement, watching Beca with hooded eyes. “He never wanted to talk about the stuff that I liked; all he ever wanted to talk about was movies and shit but he never asked if he could listen to my latest mix or if I was even working on anything cool.”
Chloe steals the lit stick from Beca’s fingers. “I never liked Jesse all that much, to be perfectly honest.”
Beca rolls her eyes. “Looking back now I’m not sure if I did, either.”
“Chicago and Tom were super self-absorbed, too,” Chloe shares, flicking the end of the joint with her thumb a little. “But like, in a sneaky way. On the outside they both seemed super sweet and caring, but after a while it became clear that they were only interested in their own good looks and ‘charming’ personalities.” Chloe scoffs and blows out a slow stream of smoke.
“I was never a big fan of either,” Beca says, kicking her feet from where they hang off the side of the fire escape so that they swing a little.
“Men suck,” Chloe states simply.
“Totally,” Beca agrees.
“You know, I wish I could just date you, Bec,” Chloe says suddenly, causing Beca to look at her with wide eyes. “I feel like you’d be a good person to date.”
Beca laughs nervously, ignoring the way her heart has started racing at Chloe’s words. “I think my ex-boyfriend would tell you otherwise.”
Chloe waves a hand dismissively, seeming undeterred by Beca’s claim. “Of course he would say otherwise, you guys didn’t end things on very good terms. I still think you would make an excellent girlfriend.”
“Oh? And why’s that?” Beca can’t help but ask.
Chloe is silent for a moment as she gathers her thoughts. “I can’t put my finger on it, exactly. You’re just… you’re just you, I guess,” Chloe says quietly, locking eyes with Beca. “You may seem like you don’t care about anything or anyone, but I can name countless times you’ve proven differently. You’re afraid of getting close to people because you’ve been hurt before, but once you trust someone you’re so so incredibly loyal. You act surly and use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, but in reality you’re one of the sweetest and most thoughtful people I know.”
Beca watches Chloe speak in shock. She knew that Chloe knew her well, but Beca felt like Chloe literally reached inside of her soul and revealed every single one of her dirty secrets.
Beca swallows and tries to keep herself from tearing up.
“And on top of all that, I know that you would treat me well, which I honestly can’t say is true about a lot of other people in my life,” Chloe says casually, completely unaware of the effect her words have had on Beca. A beat later Chloe raises a sly eyebrow at Beca. “Plus you’re not so bad in the looks department,” she adds with a wink.
Beca blushes and blinks, trying to gather up enough composure to respond to Chloe in some way. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself,” she finally says lamely.
Chloe seems perfectly content with Beca’s pitiful response, though, and beams at Beca. “We’d honestly be the hottest couple ever. If we’re not married by, like, thirty-five let’s get married.”
Beca gulps, the thought that thirty-five seems too far away to wait suddenly popping into her head and filling her with all sorts of confusing.
She tears her eyes away from Chloe and snatches the joint from her fingers, inhaling the smoke deeply in an effort to clear her head.
Maybe if she inhales enough smoke it will distract Beca from the fact that she’s pretty sure she’s falling for her best friend.
“Let’s do it. What are friends for, right?”
* * *
They go out drinking again during one of Beca’s visits, this time Chloe claiming the need to celebrate half a year of being single and “loving herself.”
Beca tries not to think about the most likely euphemism that Chloe is making in that statement.
Beca tries not to think about a lot of things, actually.
Like the way her body reacts to Chloe’s pressing up against hers as they dance together, an unbearable heat travelling to every corner of her body until she feels like she can’t breathe.
Like the way Chloe’s eyes are dark as she leads them towards the bar to do tequila shots.
Like the way Chloe’s tongue feels against her neck, licking up the trail of salt that had been sprinkled against her damp skin only moments before, Beca’s breath stalling in her throat the moment Chloe’s mouth touches her.
Like the way Beca is absolutely and one-hundred percent sure that Chloe has never affected Beca the way she is affecting her tonight.
And like the way Beca has no idea how this night is going to end for the two of them, because Beca is pretty positive that she’s never felt more alive and yet so close to combusting all at once.
* * *
(Beca does make it through the night, only to hop on a plane back to LA the next morning feeling more confused than she has ever felt in her entire life.)
* * *
Beca waits by baggage claim, trying not to look as anxious as she feels. This is the first time that Chloe is the one visiting her, and Beca wants it to be perfect.
Which means that her confused feelings will have to be repressed for a little while longer.
People start trickling in from Chloe’s flight, and Beca searches the crowds until she spots a familiar head of red hair. Beca can’t help the smile that stretches across her face at the sight.
“Chloe!” she calls, causing a few people to glance at her in annoyance, but Beca can’t be bothered by them because Chloe is power-walking towards her and tackling her in a hug before Beca can barely blink.
And Beca’s always liked LA, but now she thinks she may like it a little more.
* * *
The reason for Chloe being in LA isn’t simply because Beca got tired of flying to New York (the six hour flights did get a little exhausting after a while, they never deterred Beca from visiting Chloe), but because she is accompanying Beca to some big label party as her plus one.
Beca’s never really enjoyed the high-end parties that she was semi-required to go to. Sure, they were a great chance to rub elbows with producers and work on her social connections, but all around they were fairly boring, considering the fact that the only person Beca ever knew at the parties was Theo.
Not exactly the greatest of company.
Chloe was definitely a major upgrade from turtle-man.
They roll up to the party that night in one of the company cars that has been hired to drive people for the evening, Beca clad in a simple navy jumpsuit (they were really very common nowadays) and Chloe in a black mini dress that hugged her curves in all the right ways.
Beca was glad her jumpsuit had pockets that she could shove her hands into, preventing her from reaching out and touching Chloe in some way impulsively.
She needed some drinks.
Chloe follows Beca around for the first bit of the party as Beca makes her rounds of greeting all the important people she’s supposed to say hi to, her friend charming every single person they encounter with poise and grace that Beca wished she herself possessed. Eventually, they make it over to the small bar in the corner of the room, much to Beca’s relief.
“I’ll get two whiskey shots, please,” Beca tells the kind sir behind the counter. The man immediately sets to work pouring them shots, and Beca watches eagerly until she feels eyes on the side of her face. She turns to look at Chloe, seeing a quizzical expression on her friend’s face. “What?”
“Trying to get drunk?” Chloe asks teasingly.
Beca flushes slightly. “These things are much easier to get through once you have some alcohol in your system, trust me,” she explains. Beca picks up one of the shot glasses. “Amongst other reasons,” she murmurs quietly before throwing her drink back, followed quickly by the second.
Chloe studies her for a moment before turning to the bartender and asking for two shots of whiskey.
They end up on the dance floor sometime later, though it’s not like the rough, fast-paced dancing they partook in at the bar after tequila shots during Beca’s last visit to New York. This dance is slow, with Beca’s hand resting delicately on the swell of Chloe’s hip and Chloe’s arm resting over Beca’s shoulder, their other hands holding gently onto one another’s. Frank Sinatra’s “It Had To Be You” plays overhead.
Feelings rush through Beca’s chest the longer they dance- feelings that Beca doesn’t know what to do with. Because Beca and Chloe were just friends, and dancing with your friend like this shouldn’t be the most natural thing in the world; shouldn’t be making Beca feel like they were meant to hold each other like this for the rest of their lives.
The air between them is charged with energy or tension or something and Beca is worried about what would happen if one of them were to release it, but something about being here with Chloe makes all the thoughts in Beca’s head want to burst free.
“Hey, Chlo-”
“Is everyone having a good time tonight?”
A voice cuts through Beca’s mental daze, talking over the words about to leave Beca’s mouth. She blinks away from Chloe and sees Theo near the front of the room, microphone in hand as he starts talking about some accomplishments that the label has experienced in the few months.
Chloe raises her eyebrow at Beca questioningly, but Beca waves her hand dismissively, signaling that she would get to it later. Beca takes a step away from Chloe, both grateful and saddened for the new distance between them and turns to watch Theo talk, arms folded protectively around her middle.
Beca’s friend Caleb from the label comes to stand by her side shortly after, and Beca smiles at him in greeting.
“Hey, Beca, glad I ran into you. I was wondering if you’d made it tonight,” Caleb says softly so as not to direct attention away from Theo. “This your girlfriend?” he asks next, gesturing to Chloe.
Beca’s eyebrows fly to her hairline. “Uh, actually-”
“I’m Chloe,” Chloe cuts in brightly before Beca can correct the false assumption, stretching out her arm in front of Beca’s body in order to offer her hand out for a shake. “I don’t think I caught your name.”
“Caleb,” he says kindly, accepting Chloe’s extended hand. Their hands separate a moment later, Chloe’s hand immediately moving to rest casually on Beca’s lower back. Beca resists the urge to shiver as Chloe’s fingers shift lightly against her body absentmindedly.
Fortunately that seems to be the extent of Chloe and Caleb’s conversation, the two of them facing forward to listen to whatever the hell Theo was talking about. Beca turns incredulously towards Chloe to shoot her a questioning look, but Chloe pointedly keeps her attention focused ahead.
The soft movements of Chloe’s hand against her back do nothing to calm the confusion rushing through Beca’s mind.
* * *
The car ride back to Beca’s place is spent in silence, Chloe remaining uncharacteristically quiet throughout the duration of the journey. Their quietness remains as they climb the stairs and walk through the doorway of Beca’s modest apartment. Beca isn’t sure exactly what the acceptable way to break their silence is, but the fact that Chloe hasn’t spoken a word to her in at least thirty minutes is starting to make her feel anxious.
“Are we going to talk about what happened back there?” Beca asks casually, setting her purse down on the kitchen counter.
Chloe glances over at Beca’s question, placing her own purse on the counter. “What is there to talk about?”
Beca shrugs and leans her hips against the counter, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that you let Caleb believe that we were dating. I could have just corrected him, you know? It wouldn’t have been a big deal to tell him we’re just friends.”
“Why do you care so much? It’s not like it did any harm not correcting him, either,” Chloe retorts, becoming agitated for reasons unknown to Beca.
Beca scoffs, Chloe's agitation starting to stir up her own anger. “It did no harm? We’re just friends, but now Caleb might run around and tell a bunch of people that I’ve got a girlfriend, and I might have to answer their questions about it when I don’t, in fact, have a girlfriend because we are just friends and-”
“Can you stop saying that?” Chloe suddenly snaps, interrupting Beca. Beca recoils slightly, staring at Chloe incredulously.
“Stop saying what? That we’re just friends? Because that’s what we are.”
“Stop pretending that we’re just friends, Beca!” Chloe bursts, slapping her hands down on the countertop. “You and I both know that this-” Chloe gestures between them- “is more than just friendship.”
Beca’s mouth hangs open as she tries to process Chloe’s words. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“How about you tell me that you agree,” Chloe says firmly, locking eyes with Beca. “How about you tell me that you feel something for me, because dammit, I definitely have feelings for you.”
The silence that returns between them is deafening after Chloe’s words. Beca’s mouth suddenly feels dry, and she swallows in order to speak again. “You- you have feelings for me?”
Chloe laughs tearfully, her voice thick with emotions. “Yes, I have feelings for you.”
Beca is silent once again at that, looking away from Chloe as emotions run rampant through her mind, though one emotion in particular quickly overtakes all the others.
“Beca? Can you say something, please? Anything,” Chloe prods nervously.
Beca looks back up at Chloe with a small smile on her face. “You know, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Mostly about the two of us. Mostly about how I’m pretty positive that I’m in love with you.”
Chloe’s breath hitches. “You are?”
Beca’s smile grows as she slowly moves around the counter until she’s standing right in front of Chloe. She reaches up to delicately brush a piece of Chloe’s hair away from her face. “Yeah, I am.”
In the end, Beca isn’t sure who kisses who, but she does know that kissing Chloe feels like the most right thing in the world. It’s something so incredibly new and exciting, yet surprisingly familiar all at once.
And sure, the distance between them was difficult, and it would be something that they would have to work hard at to overcome, but Beca wasn’t worried about that in slightest. She wasn’t worried because Beca figured that if she was meant to spend the rest of her life loving Chloe, right now was a pretty damn good time to start.
Just friends? Please.
They should have stopped pretending they were just friends a long time ago.