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“Nnngn….”
Bruce hurts everywhere and he’s mostly naked, meaning that recently the Other Guy had been out, though Bruce does not remember why. After several minutes, he musters up the will to open his eyes. He realizes he has no idea where he is, which is nothing new, although he doesn’t think he’s ever been in this type of landscape before. He sees there are old fence posts nearby, and a small hut. Suddenly, something touches him.
“What the hell...” It’s a tiny goat. Bruce is so, so tired, and the sun is setting, so he painfully drags himself to the small pile of hay nearby and falls asleep.
Some time later, Bruce wakes in a panic. By the light of a candle, he could see a figure crouching next to him, which begins to speak, and clearly waits for a response. Bruce is far too exhausted and miserably sore to even guess what language.
The figure, a woman, Bruce realizes by the voice, points at him, presses her hands together against one side of her face and grimaces. Nightmare? She stands and walks toward the hut, making beckoning motions. Bruce just stares at her. Impatiently, she returns and catches his elbow, hauling Bruce to his feet. He protests weakly, and tries to retain his dignity with the scraps around his waist. She leads him around the hut and to a rickety wooden chair by the fire. She makes a “stay” motion, and walks to the back of the hut, and returns to offer Bruce a plate bearing large, dark pods. A kola nut, he thinks, which would mean the woman is Igbo, and that Bruce was in West Africa. Bruce was awestruck; before the Other Guy took over, he’d been in Libya: across the Sahara and almost half the length of the continental US away. He’s not sure what to do, but she looks at him expectantly. She seems to realize that Bruce has no clue, because the woman takes a pod, places it in Bruce’s hand, says some words, and breaks another pod into pieces. She offers him a part, and pantomimes eating. Bruce does as instructed, and is surprised by the bitter, yet strangely familiar taste. She chews on a piece as well, and sits on the floor beside him. The two sit quietly for awhile, chewing, until the woman points to herself.
“Ebele Omenka.” She then points to him and raises her eyebrow.
“Bruce.” He doesn’t want to say his real name, so he continues with, “Bruce David.” She repeats his name a few times with a heavy accent.
“Bruse.” Bruce realizes that he is not quite as hungry or sleepy as he normally is after a transformation, and remembers that kola nuts are a source of caffeine. She offers him another piece, which he initially refuses, since caffeine is a bad idea for him, but Bruce eventually accepts when Ebele looks heartbroken. When the nuts are gone, she looks at him questioningly, and mimes eating. Bruce shakes his head; he is starving, but he knows the woman must barely be able to feed herself. Ebele then holds her hands as she did earlier, and Bruce nods. She catches his elbow again and steers him to the house. She lights a candle and Bruce can see her for the first time. She looks quite young, maybe her early twenties, and quite pregnant. She looks down for a moment and giggles, before darting to the back of the hut again. This time she reappears with clothes and an apologetic smile. She turns around and allows him to dress, before leading him back to the bed and gently pushing him onto it.
Bruce is quite worried about where she’s going with this, but she retreats to a rug and lays down. He doesn’t want to take this woman’s bed, but when he tries to stand, she points at the bed again with fiery eyes. The two silently argue until Bruce decides not to insult the generous woman’s hospitality and lays down, after pulling off his shirt and placing it, folded, on the floor. Ebele smiles and then blows out the candle.
The next morning, Bruce wakes to a delicious smell. Food. He ventures outside and sees Ebele sitting by the fire. She offers him a rough-hewn plate with rice, slices of mango, greasy brown ovals, and spicy orange mush. Bruce isn’t exactly sure what it is, but he’s too ravenous to care. He gratefully scarfs it down, eating with his fingers. Bruce tries to refuse a second helping, but Ebele refills his plate anyway. Eating more slowly this time, he lifts up a oval and raises an eyebrow.
“Dodo.” Ebele holds up a banana-like fruit. Bruce points to the bright goo.
“Awaị.” She hefts to part of an orange tuber. A yam, it looks like.
When he finishes, she takes his plate and struggles to draw water from a well. Bruce races over, determined to in some way repay this woman. She smiles gratefully, but shoos him away when he tries to help clean up. Bruce is persistent, and eventually Ebele gives up. She makes a face and retreats to the fire. Just as Bruce finishes the dishes, he hears a splashing noise, and hopes that it’s not what he thinks it is. Unfortunately, it is. Apparently Ebele’s baby decided now was the time to be born. She'd probably been in labor all morning. She struggles to her feet, and Bruce hurries over to help her into the shack. Ebele looks very calm, but she gives him a pleading look. Please stay. He knows that it will probably be a while, and wonders where her family is. She seems to read his mind, because she leads him to a corner of the shack, to a small alter. She picks up a small framed photo of herself with a man and young child and holds it to her heart. Ebele gently strokes the faces in the picture, and Bruce realizes that she’s a widow. She lifts small figurines, which appear to be deities, and begins to pray. After a long while, she stops and points to the mat she had slept on. Bruce leads her there and she sits, patting the ground next to her. He notices she still has the photo. They both sit awkwardly, until Ebele catches his attention, and between pains, points to him, and mimes rocking a baby. Any kids?
“No.” Bruce shakes his head sadly.
She draws a line between her and her husband in the photo, and points to Bruce again. Wife?
“No.” She nods, sadly.
Bruce points to the child in the picture. What happened to him?
Ebele mimes sleep and points to the dirt. Dead. Bruce wants to ask why, or how, but he’s not sure the answer could be communicated through language-barrier Pictionary and charades. To pass the time, she made a talking motion to him. Tell me a story. Bruce was quite sure she didn’t speak any English, but she listened intently as he summarized books, discussed physics, and eventually began to talk about his life. Ebele groaned occasionally, and suddenly, she rucked up her skirt and franticly gestured. Bruce was not looking forward to this part, but he moved in front of her and was shocked when a newborn plopped into his hands. He’s belatedly thankful he never put his shirt on this morning. Bruce hands the baby to Ebele and draws a bucket of water to clean with.
Finally, the baby is clean and wrapped up in his mother’s arms. After making sure Ebele was not suffering any sort of complications as far as he could tell, Bruce decides it was best he left. Ebele stops him; getting up, despite his protests, and returning with a box. She opens it and withdraws a small wad of bills, which she presses into his hand. Bruce frantically shook his head; it was the least he could do for her hospitality, and he hadn’t done much anyway besides talk. He is adamant, and Ebele is eventually distracted by her son’s hunger. Bruce was out the door before she could try to give him anything else.
Bruce hadn’t gotten far when he heard a scream. Afraid there had maybe been a complication he’d overlooked, he hurried back. He’s barely through the door long enough to see armed men standing over Ebele when his world erupts in pain.
The next thing Bruce is aware of is a familiar ache, which has him bolting upright in horror. He’s in the ruins of Ebele’s house, drenched in red, red blood. Nearby, there’s stains of gore that might have once been human, as well as assorted chunks of flesh. Bruce kneels on all fours, sobbing, and is violently ill with horror, disgust, and self-hatred. The stupid goat rubs against his back again. Bruce continues to dry-heave long after his stomach is empty, wracked with tears.
“Shhhh…..”
Bruce freezes. It was a long while before he dares look. The goat is nowhere to be found, but Ebele is watching him with concern, humming what sounds like a lullaby and rubbing soothing circles on his back. She smiles reassuringly when he gapes at her. Bruce yanks away from her hand, seeing her face is bruised and bloody, her clothes splattered in blood, and her child missing. Ebele gets up and walks to the well, and Bruce calms significantly when he sees the child tied to her back. He hasn’t moved, still overcome by a thousand emotions, by the time she returns with the bucket of water and a rag. Bruce has gone so numb that he allows Ebele to gingerly wash him like an infant. Eventually, Bruce snaps out of it and gestures to her face. Ebele’s expression hardens, and she points at the gore. She mimes holding a rifle and kicking in the door with a grimace, then carefully nudges her fist to her black eye and mimes cutting motions near her face with a knife she had pulled from her dress. Bruce is relieved he hadn’t hurt her, but is still sickened by what he’d done to the men. She must have seen his guilt, because she walks to the only part of the hut still standing, the altar, and brings back her family picture and points to the gore, before making stabbing motions at the husband and child in the photo. Then, she signs pulling up her skirt and made an obscene-looking gesture between the stain and herself. Murderers and rapists; warlords.
Ebele pushes a set of clothes in front of Bruce’s face. He doesn’t want them; he’d taken enough from her already. Ebele just pointedly flicked her eyes from his face to much lower, and stares with a cheeky grin until Bruce rolls his eyes and accepts the pants. Once Bruce is dressed, Ebele continues her story. She signals calling for help, then points between Bruce and the doorway. Ebele turns, now holding the invisible rifle, and mimes firing with a loud cry. She reaches over and hovers her hands over Bruce’s shoulders, before dragging them up and away with a roar. She pounds her fist into the ground, then her other palm, over and over, until she stops and reverses the motion from before to suggest shrinking down. She smiles in gratitude. Bruce just shakes his head, pointing around the ruined house. Ebele shakes her head back and smiles.
“Ọ dịghị onye bụ zuru okè.”
Suddenly, Bruce hears the dreaded sound of helicopters, and Ebele just gives a small smile of understanding as Bruce staggers to his feet and runs through the densest part of the trees, as far and fast as he can. He keeps running long after the chopper noises are out of range. At some point, Bruce sticks his hands in his pockets and is gobsmacked to find the wad of cash he’d so strongly refused. He uses some of the money for transport; he decides to head to Uganda, where he’d been journeying to before his little detour.
(LAME PAGE BREAK IS LAME)
The Avengers had been called to stop some terrorist called Klaw that was trying to steal Wakanda’s vibranium source. Black Panther had thanked them for the help and the team had set off back home. It had been over a day since the team left New York, and half the team’s ears were still ringing. Everyone was feeling hungry and tired, so they decided to stop for the night in Nigeria, amidst Tony’s complaints.
They landed in a small village, and Bruce led the team to the market; he said he’d been here before, long ago. Bruce took some of Tony’s money and was trying to buy food from the locals. Tony noticed he made no attempt to haggle down; rather, he was haggling up. Tony shook his head; only Bruce…
Suddenly, a woman in bright clothes and a large square headpiece leaves a yam stall and grabs Bruce by the elbow. The team immediately breaks into action, but freeze when they see him grin at her.
“I pray you come back someday.”
“Ebele! You learned English!”
She insists, in rough English, that Bruce to bring his friends; they will be guests in her home. Bruce shakes his head, but Ebele tugs at him impatiently until he tells the rest of the team to follow. They leave the village and head to a small farm. There’s a naked boy, looking about nine, sitting in front of the house by a fire. The team had yet to see any children wearing clothes in the village. Ebele sees Steve’s questioning look and explains that Igbo children rarely wear clothes, because children are innocent and have nothing to hide. But all the same, she calls to the boy, who walks inside and returns wearing pants. Steve blushes more and tries to tell her it’s not necessary, but she waves him off. The boy approaches, holding a plate of large beans. Bruce explains that they’re kola nuts, and that the Igbo people present them to guests. Ebele takes the plate and offers it to Tony, who can tell how important to her. He asks JARVIS what to do, and JARVIS walks Tony through the small ceremony. Ebele looks quite pleased. As they eat the bitter nuts, which Thor seems to enjoy, Ebele sets up mats around the fire and directs them to sit. She and the boy begin to cook and shoo the team away when they try to help.
When the food is ready, Ebele seats them around the fire and serves them bowls of orange goop with bits of meat mixed in, along with a plate of dark chips, which the team eats gratefully. Tony can see that Steve and Thor both restrain their appetites; everyone doubts this woman has money to feed them. Tony decides she’ll be getting a nice monetary gift for her hospitality. Thor, with the Allspeak, asks Ebele how she knows Bruce. She says that it is a long story, and she that she will tell it after dinner. Once everyone finishes, Ebele takes the team into the house. They sit on mats, and Tony notices there is one corner of the room that is a different color, and has a shelf full of figurines. Ebele begins to tell her story, and Tony decides to have JARVIS record it.
“Long ago, before my boy is born, warlords come to the hut of my family. They want our cow. My husband, Obi, refuse, and men shoot him. Udo, our son, is just learning to walk, and men kill him too. Men rape me and take our cow. Whole time, I pray to Chukwu for help, but no one come. Later, about month, I hear loud noise and look out and see man in field. I think maybe he try to take goat, but he just sleep. He look sick and tired, so I leave him.”
That night, I hear the voice of Obi in my heart, and it say, ‘Ebele, help this man.’ Obi always good man, so I go take candle and sit by man in field. I tap him, and he wake from bad sleep. He just wear rags, and look confused, so I think, ‘Maybe this man not so smart.’ I ignore my bad thought and take him to the fire. I bring him oji. Man stares at me again, and I think ‘Man maybe smart, but not from Igboland; if he from Igboland, he know oji.’ I already know man not Igbo; ass too white.” Ebele pauses to wink at Bruce, who blushes slightly, and continues. “I think that, if not Igbo, maybe South Africa or Spain? White men funny, insist on covering up, so I bring some old clothes that were Obi’s. He dead, not need anymore. Oji break in five pieces, mean prosperity. I happy, good things happen soon.”
Tony notices Bruce stand and walk to the corner shelf. After awhile, he begins to shake, and Tony gets up to see what’s wrong. Ebele sees, but ignores them.
“What’s up, Big Guy?” Tony whispers; he sees Bruce is wearing a blank mask. Bruce just points to the shelf. Tony stares a long while before he sees what Bruce means. Among the pictures and idols, there is a framed drawing that is clearly Bruce. Next to it is a large, green statue. Tony sees the wall behind the shelf is painted with a series of stylized paintings that clearly depict Bruce hulking out.
“Tony, she put me in her altar. I destroyed her home and she invited us in and put me with her gods...” Tony just puts an arm around Bruce, and leads him back to his seat. Ebele is still talking.
“-after Bruce leave, warlords come back. They cut me, say they will rape me. See my baby and say they will cut him up and feed him to me. I scream for help, and warlord hit me. Then, Bruce come in door. Bam! Warlord shoot him. I pray to Chukwu to take Bruce to heaven, and pray Chukwu keep me safe. I open my eyes and hear “AAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH!’ Bruce not here. Instead, big green thing here. I thank Chukwu; for Chukwu send Aro, alusi of judgement, to save me. Aro hit ground, hit walls, hit warlords. Only altar left; a sign from Chukwu. I think, ‘My family die in this house. Aro judge it time for me to move on.’”
Tony sees Bruce has his mask on again. Ebele sees too, but does not stop her story.
“Aro now done. He sit, and wooosh-” Ebele makes the same shrinking motion she’d made telling this story all those years ago. “-Aro gone. Bruce back. He naked, bloody, weak, like baby. I think maybe Chukwu make him born again. Before, he get water from well and wash my son, so I do same for him. I tell him this story. We hear helikopta-” she makes a swinging motion around her head. “-and Bruce leave. Not long, men come. Big men. Get out of helikopta. Old man, with afụ ọnụ,” she lays her finger over her lip. Tony realizes she means Ross. “He bring nsụgharị. Nsụgharị ask if I see white man. I know these men bad; I say no. Nsụgharị ask what happen to hut, point to dead warlords; I say warlord come, take cow, leave bomb. Bomb kill husband and brother. I feed baby as I talk. White man make face and leave. I bury warlords in farm, they feed my yams. Biggest yams in village; make lot of money. I build new house, raise my son.” With that, Ebele’s story ends.
She walks to the altar and takes Bruce with her. Tony sees the pair talk awhile, then Ebele points to the boy. She says something to Bruce, who stares off into space, tears streaming down his face. While Ebele goes to get places set up for the team to sleep, Tony approaches Bruce.
“She named her son after me...” The two just stand there awhile until Ebele announces that it’s time for bed.
The next morning, she feeds them again, and Ebele and Bruse walk the team to the Quinjet. As they fly off, Tony sees them wave, and Bruce waves back.
The next week, men show up in the village. They give Ebele a solar Starkphone with Bruce’s number in it and help her repair the odds and ends in her house. They try to give her money on behalf of Stark Industries, but she turns it down. The men end up getting Tony and Pepper on the phone, and the two groups argue through a translator. Tony eventually decides to just spend the money fixing up the village and installs Stark/Banner-tech water filters in all the homes. He also arranges to import the surplus yams from Ebele for an absurdly high price and to pay for whatever education her son might need. Bruce goes to visit every now and then.
One day in the lab, weeks later, Tony asks Bruce what else Ebele had said to him. Bruce says he tried to tell her that he wasn’t a god, an angel, or anything of the sort. She said that she knew, but that she also knew in her heart that her god had sent Bruce when she needed help most. Bruce said that he was just there by mistake, and Ebele just smiled and said:
“Ọ dịghị onye bụ zuru okè. Nobody’s perfect.”