Work Text:
She knew the date, the time, in fact, the hour that marked the 30th year since her mother’s departure. The day she had packed her bags, covered her face with a sheer white veil to match the simple yet elegant white robes she was now required to wear and boarded the shuttle to take her to the Sisters of Valeria.
Delenn hadn’t even been aware of the decision her parents had made, the path her mother had chosen. She woke that morning expecting her mother to be in their simply adorned prayer room, completing her morning meditations just in time to sit with Delenn and her father as they ate their first meal of the day.
She then expected to go with her father to complete her daily studies whilst her mother went about her duties around the home. Stopping in to check on Delenn a few times throughout the day.
So when she woke to find their prayer room empty and almost untouched, she was confused but thought perhaps she had overslept.
It wasn’t until her mother was practically through the door with her bag when Delenn realised something was amiss. Her father stood, solemn-looking as he kissed his wife’s forehead and watched her leave.
Delenn raced after her mother, determined to find out where she was going and what time she would return but her father caught her before she even made it through the door.
“No, my little Temshwee, you must let her leave.”
Delenn frowned and squirmed in his arms “Papa, let me down. Where is Mama going?”
Her father looked at her, giving her a stern eye causing her to instantly stop squirming. She watched on in silence as her mother didn’t even look back as the transport flew away from their home.
The sinking feeling that her mother would not be returning began to impress into her soul, but she pushed it away. Her mother would never leave. Especially not without saying goodbye.
Her father had spent a mere few moments explaining to Delenn the decision her mother had made, the greatest honour a woman could do for her family.
She nodded as she knew honour meant everything to their family and their clan but she didn’t understand it. Perhaps she never would. For her father never again spoke of it with her.
It was up to her to find out, as the years passed, exactly what the decision her mother had made actually meant and what was expected of her if anything was.
But still, the memory of that day and every day after haunted her. She should feel honoured, she should feel proud, she should feel as though her mother’s sacrifice was a great matter that brought high esteem to her clan. But she didn’t. She felt betrayed. She felt alone. But most of all she felt abandoned.
And as she rocked her tiny son in her arms, humming softly a familiar tune to settle him, she couldn’t help but feel unworthy. She could never leave her child. Never abandon him to learn and grow for himself. She could never leave him without a mother to protect and care for him. No matter the level of honour.
So why, all those years ago, had her mother left her?