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At first, Seokjin thinks the thunder woke him up.
They haven’t had a storm like this since he’d joined the others in the dorm. The rain against their window is loud, but he’s used to sleeping through noise. When another clap of thunder follows the lightning that illuminates the dorm, he realizes that it’s not what woke him.
There’s a quiet sniffling somewhere across the room. Seokjin rolls over slowly until he’s lying on his back and tries to locate the sound. It’s coming from his left, closer to the door, where he knows that Jimin’s and Jungkook’s beds are, but he can’t quite tell who it is. Clearly, whoever it is is trying to hide the sound, but at the next clap of thunder he hears a loud sob.
Something about it reminds him of his mom.
Seokjin was ten, and he really needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. He crept out of bed, trying not to wake his niece, sleeping in the room next to his, with his older brother. Hyerin was less than a year old, and was staying with them for a few days while her parents were out of town. Seokjin was quietly fascinated by her tiny features, especially the smile she gave him when they played peek-a-boo.
The moment Seokjin closed the bathroom door, a soft whine started in his brother’s room, and he froze in the doorway. He wanted to help, but-
His thoughts were interrupted as his mother appeared in the doorway to his parents’ room. She startled when she first noticed him, but then gave him a soft smile. When Hyerin started to cry, his mother slipped past him into his brother’s room, and came back out holding a softly crying baby. With a tilt of her head, his mother led him into the kitchen.
She led a kind of slow dance around the kitchen, rocking Hyerin as she went, and before Seokjin knew it, Hyerin was asleep, and his mother was gently passing her into his arms.
The tiny baby stirred for a moment, and Seokjin started to panic, but his mother showed him how to rock her slowly, and Hyerin settled quickly, her little thumb coming up into her mouth.
Eventually, Seokjin’s mother took Hyerin back to his brother’s room before tucking Seokjin back into his own bed.
“How did you know?” Seokjin asked before his mother could leave.
“Know what, honey?”
“You were awake before Hyerin even started crying.”
His mother seemed to consider that.
“Maybe it’s a mom thing. I woke up because someone needed me.”
“Oh.”
Nothing escaped Seokjin’s mother, not even the hint of disappointment in Seokjin’s voice.
“What is it?”
Seokjin thought for a moment.
“I want to be able to do that, too. It’s like a superpower. But if it’s something only moms can do…”
They looked at each other in the half-darkness of his room, and Seokjin could see the way his mother’s eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled.
“I think I misspoke, baby. It’s not just moms who can do it. I think when you care strongly about someone, it’s almost like you just get a sense that they need you.”
“I care about you and Appa and Seokjung!”
“Of course you do, but it’s different when someone needs you to take care of them. Hyerin needed me. I think she needed you, too, or you wouldn’t have woken up.”
“But I didn’t know how to help her,” Seokjin said with a small frown.
“That’s okay. Sometimes all you need to do is be there, and then from there, you figure out what to do.”
The soft crying continues, and Seokjin listens carefully, trying to pinpoint the sound. Slowly, so that whoever it was won’t realize he was awake, he turns onto his side so that he can see more of the room. Yoongi is in the bed across from him, dead to the world, and when he tilts his head he can see Hoseok and Taehyung, both asleep, judging by the slow rise and fall of their chests.
Namjoon has the bottom bunk below Yoongi, and he’s also fast asleep, so it has to be Jimin or Jungkook, but that knowledge doesn’t help Seokjin know what to do about the quiet sobbing.
He should wake up Namjoon. He’s the leader, so he’ll know what to do. Crying isn’t Seokjin’s job to handle. He’s the visual, the quiet, awkward one (according to his concept). He can just wake Namjoon, roll over, and go back to sleep, and maybe he won’t be completely out of it for dance practice the next day.
He’s all the way off his bed and standing in front of Namjoon’s before he realizes it. He’s awake because someone needs him. He turns, and now that he’s out of his bed it’s obvious that it’s Jungkook crying. He’s clearly trying to hide it, but nothing can disguise the way his whole body shakes as he tries to keep himself together.
Seokjin makes a noise then, ruffling the covers and tapping his heel on the floor like he’s just climbing down, trying to make it sound like he’s getting up to use the bathroom.
The sobs stop immediately, but when Seokjin takes a step towards the door, he can see Jungkook’s hand pressed over his mouth, eyes shut tight.
He takes a slow step towards the door, then a few more, faster and louder as he hears a hiccup escape Jungkook. Keeping his eyes mostly closed, Seokjin steps past Jungkook, out into the hallway, and then into the bathroom. He knows if he’d asked what was wrong, Jungkook would have clammed up.
With a couple of quick splashes at the sink, Seokjin is fully alert, and now he’s thinking clearly. Seokjin has only known him for a little more than a year, but Jungkook is young, open, and not nearly as good as he thinks he is at hiding his emotions. Every once in a while. after a rough practice or recording session, Seokjin catches him squeezing his eyes shut, lips pursed tightly together as he tries to stop the tears.
The first time he’d tried to comfort him, he’d panicked. He didn’t know how to handle it, and ended up doing the first stupid thing he could think of, which was challenging Jungkook to rock-paper-scissors. He’s still not sure why it worked, but it did, and the way he felt when Jungkook smiled as he won has stayed with him. Now when he’s upset, Jungkook shakes him off and starts a play fight, which Seokjin pretends to be annoyed at, as the oldest member.
He’s never told anyone else how he keeps Jungkook from crying, though he’s pretty sure that Namjoon and Yoongi have seen them in the moments before their playful bickering started, and they've chosen not to say anything either. It helps that Jungkook likes to start silly fights even when he’s not upset.
Seokjin looks up at himself in the mirror. There are huge bags under his eyes, and he’d fallen asleep without showering after practice earlier, so his hair is a mess of sweat and grease. He turns the water on again and splashes himself one more time. He hasn’t dealt with Jungkook after the tears have already started, and he feels like he needs to tread carefully.
He still wants to wake up Namjoon and get him to deal with their crying maknae, but something in him tells him that he’s the one who has woken up for a reason.
He turns off the light as he steps out of the bathroom, and it takes a moment for his eyes to readjust to the dark. He can’t see, but he can hear the soft sniffles as he steps back into their shared room.
“Kookie,” he says softly as he shuts the door behind himself. He’s not sure that using the new-ish nickname is the right choice, but when he senses Jungkook rolling over in his bed to look up at him, it feels right.
“I’m okay, Jin-hyung.”
There are a few things he thinks about saying, but the right words just seem to come to him.
“What do you mean, Kookie? Hyung couldn’t sleep.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen, but Seokjin pretends he can’t see that.
“It’s been a rough day, Jungkookie. Practice was hard, right?”
“Right…” Jungkook says, and he doesn’t seem to notice that Seokjin stops near the head of Jungkook’s bed instead of heading back to his own bunk. “I’m sure you’ll get it, hyung.”
Seokjin tries not to notice the way Jungkook’s voice shakes.
“I shouldn’t be putting my worries on you, Kookie,” he says as he turns back towards his bed, and he’s gratified when he feels Jungkook’s hand reach out and catch his elbow.
“No!“ Jungkook says a little too loudly, and Jimin stirs, but he just rolls over and lets out a sigh before going back to sleep.
“It’s okay, hyung.” Jungkook’s voice is back to a whisper. “Do you want to…?”
“Don’t worry about me, Kook-ah,” Seokjin says. “I’ll be fine.”
“But hyung,” Jungkook starts to whine, and Seokjin knows he’s got him. “Hyung, come here.”
Seokjin turns and gives him a grateful smile that he’s pretty sure Jungkook can’t quite see in the dark.
“Are you sure?” he asks, and Jungkook laughs quietly.
“Of course, hyung. I’m strong!”
“Okay then. Can hyung stay with you tonight?”
Jungkook doesn’t wait long enough to act like he’s actually thinking about it.
“I guess,” he says, but the tone of his voice gives him away, and he holds his blanket up quickly, offering up a space for Seokjin. He slides in next to Jungkook, and they stay laying shoulder-to-shoulder for a little bit. They listen for a moment to the quiet breathing around them, and Seokjin rolls over first. He’s greeted with Jungkook’s side, but before he can say anything, Jungkook rolls over and tucks his head underneath Seokjin’s chin as he scoots closer.
“I’ve got you, hyung.”
“I know you do,” Seokjin says as he reaches his hand across Jungkook’s back. His hand ends up at the nape of Jungkook’s neck, and after a moment, he runs his fingers through the short hairs there.
Jungkook’s breathing slows for a moment.
Then it picks up, and he’s suddenly sobbing and clutching Seokjin closer.
Seokjin lets him cry it out, running his hands through Jungkook’s hair and keeping his cheek pressed against the top of his head.
It hurts, listening to Jungkook cry, especially because he’s not sure what caused it. He knows that he gets homesick sometimes, so it could be that, but he also knows that Jungkook feels a lot more pressure sometimes. He’s proven to be so talented at so many things since they’ve started training, and Seokjin has noticed that he seems to take praise as a challenge to do even better, and that he’s hard on himself when something doesn’t come easily to him.
Also, they’re supposed to debut sometime soon, and even though a date hasn’t been chosen, it’s set all of them on edge. All of a sudden all of their practice, their hard work, their hours of training are going to be put on stage to be judged by everyone. He’s not sure whether Jungkook feels the same way, but Seokjin is especially nervous about that because he knows his family will be watching.
Thinking about his family brings him back to waking up in the middle of the night and watching his mom comfort his niece.
Then lightning strikes, thunder follows, Jungkook sobs, and Seokjin wonders how often he uses storms to hide from the rest of the members. They’re all heavy sleepers, especially after a day of work, and the idea of Jungkook crying while trying to seem like he’s not makes him clutch Jungkook closer.
It takes a long time, but eventually Jungkook settles. His sobs turn into sniffles, and his breathing evens out. Neither of them is quite asleep yet, but the storm settles as Jungkook does, and finally there’s just rain and Jungkook’s grip on Seokjin’s back loosening.
“Thank you, Kookie,” he whispers.
“You’re welcome, hyung,” Jungkook whispers back, and Seokjin isn’t quite sure when they fall asleep, but he sleeps better than he has in a long time. When he wakes up, he feels like he knows what it means to have a superpower.
(The next time he sees his mother, he breaks down as he tells her about what happened, and she gives him the same smile she’d done before, and tells him that she knew he would figure out what to do.)
Years later, after they’ve debuted, struggled, and become world-famous (which is still baffling to Seokjin), Jungkook still comes to him sometimes.
They’ve never talked about that first night, but Jungkook also doesn’t wait for the cover of a storm to let Seokjin take care of him. He goes to the others as well, but when it just becomes too much, he’ll go to Seokjin.
They don’t talk much except to say “thanks, Kookie,” and “you’re welcome, hyung.”