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Charlotte Lu wakes up only mildly hungover (but very confused) the day after Lizzie and Darcy’s wedding. The champagne had been a little too freeflowing, and she had desperately been in need of a moment of relaxation, because she’s been working so hard, that she’d just gone for it.
What’s the harm, she’d thought, in a few too many glasses of champagne?
Well, she’s naked too, and it looks like she either moved around a lot in her sleep the night before, or she had sex with someone. The latter is the most likely though, because she has the vaguest memory of flirting, getting fingered in a closet somewhere, and arriving home with that person.
That’s no matter though, because the person seems to be gone already, so she pulls on some comfortable clothes and heads to her bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.
She feels like crap, and she has no idea who she slept with, which worries her, yes, but Charlotte is usually smart enough while drunk to make good choices.
Or, well, not completely terrible ones.
She wanders off to make herself breakfast a minute or so later, and she’s yawning and trying to wake herself up, so for a moment she doesn’t believe her own eyes.
When she sees Caroline Lee in her kitchen, making breakfast, Charlotte realizes that she, like millions of other drunk people, makes terrible choices. Caroline, of all people, she thinks. Wow.
“Why are you in my kitchen making yourself breakfast?” Charlotte feels wide awake now, of course.
“I would have woken you up,” Caroline admits with a shrug—she’s shameless, Charlotte realizes, utterly shameless—“Actually, I tried, but you wouldn’t budge. You know, it’s polite to make your guests breakfast."
Charlotte’s not sure what to do with that. “Of course,” she says dryly. “That would be the polite thing to do.”
Caroline nods, and then places small slices of cantaloupe on the plates in front of her next to the cooked food and smiles slightly.
“Did you—did you make breakfast for me too?” Charlotte is a little taken aback by that.
Caroline gives her mildly judgmental look. “Of course I did. Did you not understand the part about politeness?”
“I’m still stuck on the part where you’re in my apartment,” Charlotte points out. “Aren’t you married to Senator Elton?”
Caroline looks like her blood is boiling at the mention of her husband, and so she huffs and puffs and she takes both plates over to Charlotte’s kitchen table and just sits down. “Sit,” she says.
Charlotte doesn’t need permission to sit at her own table, but it seems pointless to argue, when she’s actually hungry, and the hashbrowns smell really good and—oh, is that bacon? Excellent.
Charlotte sits down awkwardly, picking up her fork and plowing into her food. It’s Sunday, she thinks, which means that Caroline must have some sort of plans, right? She should leave when they’re done eating.
At least, this is what Charlotte is hoping.
She’s beginning to wonder why Lizzie had possibly hoped it was a good idea to invite Caroline to the wedding, considering all of the unnecessary drama that she’d sowed a few years back, but hey. Apparently Lizzie has grown more forgiving, and Charlotte supposes that enough time has passed that Caroline could be different.
Charlotte doesn’t have much of an opportunity to judge that during the meal, especially since Caroline doesn’t actually talk during it.
She’s fully expecting that Caroline is going to just jump up and run as soon as she’s done—but manners, manners, Charlotte reminds herself with a smile.
She’s not sure if it’s polite or impolite to talk during a meal, and she guesses it doesn’t matter, because she’s not in the mood to talk right now anyway. She’s in the mood to eat, and so she does.
~~
She finishes her plate, and Caroline grabs it from her. “Thank you,” she says, “For breakfast.”
Caroline smiles slightly, then resists when Charlotte tries to reach for the dishes back. “You’re welcome. And I can handle this. I wanted the opportunity to discuss things with you. I just needed some time—“ her smile falters, and for a brief moment Charlotte thinks she actually looks vulnerable. Caroline clears her throat. “I just needed some time to work things out while we were eating.”
“I see.” Charlotte frowns. “Is something wrong?”
She’s not sure if she actually cares, but Caroline is standing in front of her doing her dishes, and they clearly had sex, and, well, it’s hard not to care, if only just a little.
Caroline just makes a wavey hand movement, and starts rinsing off the dishes and putting them inside of the dishwasher.
Charlotte cleans off the counter with a rag and then stands awkwardly, tapping her fingers on her countertop.
“There we go,” Caroline says triumphantly, shutting the dishwasher door and swirling around to look at Charlotte.
“Thank you,” Charlotte says again, somehow feeling even more awkward than before. “So, you wanted to talk?”
“Yes,” Caroline nods. “Is there anywhere we can sit comfortably?”
Charlotte tilts her head toward the living room area. “Couch?”
“That’ll do,” Caroline agrees, and they walk the several feet necessary to reach the comfy part of her apartment.
Her room’s nice too, she supposes, but she loves her couch and her chairs. They don’t match at all, but they’re ridiculously comfortable.
“So,” Caroline starts. “I’d like it if we could keep this little misadventure to ourselves.”
“Done,” Charlotte agrees. “That was pretty much a given.”
Caroline nods. “Perfect. Also, my husband and I are currently undergoing a separation, which means that this needs to stay a secret. Which means you tell no one, not even Lizzie.”
“Well,” Charlotte tries to digest that information. “Okay. I can do that. I don’t exactly want to go around telling everyone about this either.”
“Good,” Caroline seems happy, but slightly less happy than she should be considering that Charlotte just agreed to all of her terms.
Charlotte sighs, deciding to try to further comfort her. “You know, we were drunk, we had sex, it’s fine.”
“I wasn’t drunk,” Caroline says with a wince. “I didn’t drink at all actually.”
“Oh,” Charlotte says. “Oh.” That’s . . . strange. Charlotte is confused by the fact that Caroline would sleep with her while perfectly sober. Just, why? She must be ridiculously charming while drunk, she supposes.
“I know, I know, it’s terrible, I’m terrible. But I’m having a baby, so drinking excessive amounts of alcohol would be rather frowned upon.”
“Jesus,” Charlotte says, “Are you serious?” Not only did she have sex with Caroline, she had sex with an about to get divorced and pregnant Caroline.
Good choices all around, Charlotte. Good job.
“I’m not that far along,” Caroline tells her. “I just found out. I’m not even sure how I’m going to tell him.”
“Maybe you guys can try to work something out,” Charlotte suggests. “I mean, I’m not saying you have to rescue your marriage from—from whatever is wrong with it, but at least try to have a good relationship with your kid’s dad.”
Caroline scrunches up her nose, and Charlotte thinks it’s oddly . . . cute, but that’s besides the point. “The problem with our marriage is that he’s a political nuisance, and I’m a professional social climber.”
“I see,” Charlotte says. “But didn’t you already know that?”
Caroline looks like she’d very much like to tell her to mind her own business, but Charlotte has a feeling that she hasn’t told anyone else about this at all.
Charlotte watches Caroline struggle with her inner conflict and wonders how she landed in this mess—you get drunk at one wedding, and this happens.
Charlotte doesn’t like to think of herself as an overly bad person, and she is sympathetic, but she’s not sure what she can do here—and she’s pretty sure that even if she had advice to give, Caroline wouldn’t care for it.
“Elton is—he is who he is,” Caroline says noncommittally. “We’re simply not well-suited. I caught him in bed with someone else, and it wasn’t the first time it happened. It just kept happening, and he wasn’t even trying to hide it from me—all the rest of the world? Yes. Can’t let his constituents know. But me? He didn’t care. I told him it was over last week. It’s one thing to cheat on me, but you could at least avoid doing it in my house,” Caroline doesn’t seem heartbroken so much as she seems disgusted, and maybe more than a little unhappy.
She seems lonely. Charlotte reaches out a hand and places it over Caroline’s, who simply smiles slightly. “Thank you.”
Caroline seems grateful for the comfort, but she also seems uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry,” Charlotte says. “For the whole mess that you’re in.”
Caroline pulls her hand away suddenly and stands up. “I should go.”
“Okay,” Charlotte says, feeling instantly relieved. “Uhhhh, if you need anything, I’m here, I guess.” She sort of hopes that Caroline won’t take her up on that. “Take care of yourself and your baby.”
Charlotte fully expects to not have to see Caroline again for a long time, if ever.
~~
Charlotte is not so lucky.
A week later, Caroline shows up on Charlotte's doorstop with her bags, and Charlotte’s eyes open wide, because, um, what? “What’s going on here?”
“You said if I needed anything that you were here. So here I am.”
Charlotte frowns. “I know, but that’s just the kind of thing that you—“ Caroline pushes past her, wheeling in one of her suitcases.
“Grab the rest, if you will.”
“Please,” Charlotte supplies. “Usually people say please.”
Caroline sighs. “Please.”
Charlotte considers her options now.
She could tell her to leave, yeah, but the chances of that happening without her calling the police and making a big scene? Slim to none, she’s guessing. It seems a bit too dramatic, and Charlotte is tired, and she doesn’t have the energy for that kind of nonsense right now.
“Why are you here?” She asks as she grabs the rest of Caroline’s bags.
“Elton knows people, and he had the hotel kick me out.” Caroline looks so furious she might breathe fire at any moment, Charlotte thinks.
“I don’t think that’s legal.”
“Oh,” Caroline says, waving a hand. “Legality. He’s running for governor, and he’s going to win with or without me. No one wants to make an enemy of him. They should be more concerned about me, of course. I have a lot more money than he does.”
“You do,” Charlotte says. “Which is why you could just find another hotel, right?”
“He’ll find me again, and I don’t want to be bothered. Bing and I have a nice house in this area, but—“ Caroline sighs, sitting down on Charlotte’s couch, clearly tired. “He’ll find me there easily, and technically we’re still married, so if I bought a new house, he’d hear about it. So I’m here, because I have nowhere else to go.”
“You could go to Bing’s,” Charlotte suggests. “I don’t have a second room, so it wouldn’t be very comfortable.”
“Don’t be silly,” Caroline says. “I’ve slept with you before. I’m not concerned.”
“I am,” Charlotte retorts.
“Well,” Caroline says with a frown. “I could leave, but then you’d be leaving a pregnant woman out in the cold, and I’m guessing you have some sort of moral issue with that.” Caroline shrugs at that disdainfully.
Charlotte has never seen someone shrug disdainfully, but Caroline pulls it off with a bit of flair.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Charlotte asks her. “I mean, really think about it.”
Caroline sighs. “I’ll leave if you want me to. But I really hope you’ll let me stay. I just need somewhere to hide away for a while. Somewhere safe. And no one would think to look for me here. And I just need a little time. Just a few weeks to figure something out.”
Somehow, Charlotte finds herself saying yes.
~~
Having Caroline as a semi-roommate has various advantages and disadvantages as one might guess.
The sleeping arrangements are interesting—the first night Charlotte sleeps on the couch, but as comfortable as that is, she wants to be in her bed, and so she climbs into bed with Caroline the next night, and hopes this all doesn’t last too long.
Charlotte is beginning to think about other things now—she’s known about her interest in women for a while now, and it’s never really bothered her, but it’s weird to think that she slept with Caroline.
She’s attractive, Charlotte supposes. Really attractive, actually. If she weren’t occasionally an awful or irritating person, Charlotte would just go and call her drop dead gorgeous. The woman’s hot, which is pretty much a given.
Charlotte doesn’t really think of herself as the one night stand kind of person, and this seems to be proving her point.
~~
“Are you into women?” Charlotte asks one day while Caroline’s little personal shopper puts away groceries for them. One advantage of living with Caroline, Charlotte thinks, is that she tends to handle a lot of the irritating chores, and it’s saving Charlotte money, which is never a bad thing, even though she’s better off now than she was a few years ago when she first started working with Ricky Collins.
“Yes,” Caroline says with a shrug. “But not exclusively, hence the marriage to a man and the ridiculously unrequited love of Darcy.”
“Ah,” Charlotte says. “I see.”
Caroline looks up with her. “Are you wondering if I have some sort of emotional attachment to you? Because I don’t. Besides the fact that it’s convenient to be here, of course.”
“Of course,” Charlotte echoes dryly. “I didn’t think you had any sort of attachment to me.”
“Good,” Caroline says with a nod of her head. “Good.”
~~
Caroline is oddly easy to get along with most of the time. Sometimes, she’s a little bossy, but Charlotte shuts that right down, which Caroline oddly seems to enjoy.
Caroline seems like more of a real person now, and even though Charlotte appreciates knowing that, she’s not sure how she feels about the fact that she has to live with the damn woman in order to figure it out.
A few days in, she wakes up to find Caroline curled around her. She tries to extricate herself, but it doesn’t really work out too well.
Caroline Lee, it turns out, is a cuddler.
She likes to spoon, and she does it every night from then on—and then, when Charlotte mentions it, Caroline denies it.
~~
A few weeks later, Caroline is tapping her foot and waiting impatiently for Charlotte to agree to go to a sonogram with her. “I don’t want to face him alone.”
“Don’t you think Elton is going to, I don’t know, suspect something?”
Caroline shrugs. “It might be good if he does, considering that he’s going to fight me for custody.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Precisely,” Caroline says, “You see my point. I want to be settled and established, and having a responsible, hard-working roommate on my side is a good thing. My child needs to be raised in a proper home.”
“You’re not raising your child here though,” Charlotte points out.
“Of course not. It’s too small. We’ll be moving somewhere else.”
“And by we you mean . . . ?”
“All of us, Charlotte. Do try to keep up.” She's trying to steamroll her, Charlotte realizes. Just act like it's a done deal and not even open things up for discussion. It's brilliant, but annoying because it's directed at her.
“You want me to pretend to be your lady lover and raise your child with you? Have you completely lost your mind?”
Charlotte is pretty sure that she must have, because none of this makes any sense. When did this plan come into being?
“Oh, did I not discuss payment yet?” Caroline says casually, like what she’s said isn’t completely ridiculous.
Charlotte has a feeling that this is how she usually gets her way.
“I don’t think there’s enough money in the world to get me to do that. You aren’t just going to steamroll over my life? What happens when our friends find out?”
Caroline narrows her eyes, “Oh, Charlotte. Just tell them that you and I have fallen in love. We’ve seen the light. Paint a romantic picture, I don’t care. But I am going to provide the preferred home for my child, and sadly in the eyes of most courts two parents are better than one. I’m not saying it even has to last very long. Just a year, maybe. I’ll pay off your student loans, pay all the bills—all you have to do is pretend to be in love with me.” It's actually a pretty good deal, but it's a terrible idea.
“You're insane,” Charlotte says flat out. “I am living with an insane person, and I didn’t realize it until this moment. You are not serious, Caroline. We can’t do this.”
“Sure we can. My husband—“ she says with extreme disgust, “—wants full custody. Full custody, Charlotte.”
“Why don’t you just try for joint custody, or just present yourself as an awesome single woman?” Anything but this, Charlotte thinks.
Anything but this.
~~
In the end, Charlotte agrees.
She does it partially for the money, partially because she actually cares what happens to Caroline despite her best efforts otherwise, and partially because it feels like the right thing.
She can’t explain it, but it does.
Elton, who claims he wants full custody, doesn’t even bother to show up for the appointment.
Charlotte is there holding Caroline’s hand, and looking at the ultrasound.
It’s not her baby, but when she looks at that little speck she feels something.
She can’t quite put a name to it though.
~~
They move out of Charlotte’s apartment into a nice house, and then, because this is Caroline Lee, they throw a coming out party.
Emphasis, Caroline says with a sparkle in her eye, on the coming out.
Charlotte tries not to laugh, and fails, and focuses on work.
Caroline is investing in Charlotte’s new work venture, because even though she’s been running things for a while now, she’s finally going to own her own company, and Charlotte doesn’t know how to say no to that.
Instead, she adopts a new philosophy. Unless it’s going to end in prison time or death, she’s going to say yes to this scheme of Caroline’s, because as much as she’d randomly dumped it on Charlotte, she’s fully committed to it.
The party itself is lavish, and proves how serious Caroline really is. Caroline holds her arm for most of the night, smiling brightly, and whispering in her ear to try to cheer her up. Charlotte can fake nice, but faking happy is a little harder, she realizes.
She’s not especially unhappy she supposes, so she tries to channel her excitement about what comes with this chaotic little plan.
Everything’s going to be fine, she tells herself, but then she sees Jane, who gives her the funniest look, and Bing, who smiles and hugs her, trying to welcome her to the family, which is a little weird because Caroline is still technically working on her divorce from Elton, and wow this is a monumental mess.
Bing and Jane are both confused, but they both pretend to be happy for them, which is nice she supposes.
Lizzie doesn’t even pretend at all, grabbing her arm and pulling her off while Darcy tries to entertain Caroline.
“What the hell, Charlotte?”
“Uhhhhhh.” Charlotte frowns. “Caroline and I are in love.” She winces, because she totally didn’t sell that. She breathes deeply. “We’re happy, Lizzie.”
Lizzie just looks at her, tilting her head from side to side as if she’s trying to figure out what’s going on with her.
It doesn’t seem to work, because she just sighs. “Charlotte, if you’re in some kind of trouble—“
“That’s not what this is,” Charlotte says. “I care about her, Lizzie.”
The truth is, Charlotte thinks, that she does. It’s not like she’s in love with her or anything, but there’s something there, maybe. A friendship, at least.
Lizzie just opens her mouth up to argue again, and many years of friendship tell Charlotte this, so she shakes her head. “If you care about me, you’ll just let things be.”
“I do care about you, that’s why I’m trying to figure out what you’re doing here. Are you going to get married, and then kill her in some sort of widow money plot?”
“Lizzie—“
“Or is she keeping you hostage?”
“Lizzie—“ Charlotte says again, but then Lizzie cuts her off again.
“Blink twice if she’s keeping you hostage. Give me a sign, Charlotte, because the Charlotte I know wouldn’t do this.”
Charlotte steps forward and hugs Lizzie. “You’re a good friend, Lizzie.”
“Charlotte—“
“But this is okay, Lizzie. You don’t have to save me from myself here. I know what I’m doing.”
~~
They still share a bedroom in this new home, even though there’s plenty of room, because the last thing they need is for someone to notice something is off and testify against them.
Caroline’s getting excessively pregnant, and it’s a weird thing to watch.
The months pass quickly, and the divorce is getting finalized, and everything is moving so fast—one year, Charlotte thinks, will just speed by.
Charlotte is sleeping perfectly well one night when suddenly she feels like someone is poking her.
She opens her eyes and realizes that Caroline is spooning her, and the baby is kicking her.
She pats at Caroline’s arm and then stops. She can probably feel the baby kicking, she thinks, since the baby is inside of her.
They don’t know the sex of the baby yet, and Caroline has chosen not to know, so no one else is allowed to.
Charlotte closes her eyes and smiles.
~~
Caroline is a miserable pregnant woman sometimes. Sometimes she glides and glows, and sometimes she complains incessantly.
“You’re okay,” Charlotte tells her, somehow ending up rubbing circles on her back.
“I’m not. I’m a whale. I’m a ball of suffering, I’m—“
Charlotte tunes her out at that moment.
At least, she tunes her out until she screams.
“What?”
“I think my water just broke.”
~~
“It’s cute,” Charlotte says. “At least, as much as a newborn baby can be.”
Caroline sends a withering glance her way, and Charlotte is grateful for it.
Charlotte is still a little shaken from the intensity of the birth, which Elton had deigned to show up to before going outside to wait because it was taking too long.
Charlotte had been there holding her hand, and then wiping her brow, and feeding her ice chips, and having her hand bruised and practically broken by the force of Caroline clenching it.
There had been a weird moment then, Charlotte things, when she’d been looking straight into Caroline’s eyes, telling her she could do it, and—well, Charlotte thinks, she felt something. It was an emotional moment, that’s what happens, right?
~~
Charlotte is finally launching her company, and the baby is definitely not sleeping through the night, and the custody battle is heating up and it’s all very overwhelming.
She’s tired, she thinks, that’s why it happens.
Sleepless nights and stress make a woman turn to other things, and somehow that’s how she finds Caroline’s head between her legs. It doesn’t mean anything, she swears.
It would be something if she heard what Caroline says after she’s fallen asleep afterwards, but she doesn’t, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?
~~
The sex is a regular occurrence. They’re both under a lot of pressure, and somehow the baby being asleep leads to a frantic battle to get their clothes off as quickly as possible. Caroline hired a nanny,of course, but that isn’t a 24/7 solution.
Charlotte and Caroline spend countless nights looking down at the baby because she’s just so cute, of course, and Charlotte thinks that maybe they feel a little like a family.
Just because you feel like something though—that doesn’t mean you are that thing.
No, most certainly not.
They win full custody. Or, well, Caroline does, and Charlotte’s the responsible, stable girlfriend. Elton, however, is a cheating asshole who definitely won’t be the next governor because some states frown on corruption and taking bribes.
And so, they get the baby.
It makes her heart heavy, though she can’t quite explain why.
After the celebratory sex, Charlotte wonders if she should ask when it’s time to dissolve their partnership.
She doesn’t want to—not yet, anyway, and so she keeps her thoughts to herself.
~~
Caroline can be exasperating, but she makes her laugh, and that means something, doesn’t it?
They’re compatible in bed, yes.
They’re living together, they’re supporting each other’s dreams—Charlotte is having trouble finding a firm reason why they aren’t good together, but here she is, making lists, wondering how in the world she fell in love with Caroline Lee.
She resolves not to ask about the dissolution of their partnership, not ever.
If that’s what Caroline wants, then she’ll handle it.
~~
“We need to discuss something,” Caroline says one day. “I want us to get married.”
“What?”
Charlotte definitely isn’t sure how to process that.
“Well, it’s the most logical option, and everything seems to be going along quite nicely.”
Logical, Charlotte thinks. It’s logical, of course. “I’m not getting married because it’s logical.”
“You should,” Caroline tells her. “It’s a good reason to get married. Plus, I love you, and I think that’s a reasonable reason too, but that could just be me.”
“What—“ You buried the lead there, Charlotte thinks. And you skipped a few too many steps. “You love me?”
“Of course I do,” Caroline says, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m pretty sure it was a given.”
“I love you too,” Charlotte tells her, and Caroline stops pretending that this is all casual and logical and businesslike long enough to smile.
“Good,” Caroline says, “Then it’s settled.”
It could be a little more romantic, Charlotte supposes, but this suits her quite nicely.