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"You—You said you loved me so I..."
"And you told me you loved someone else—"
"I know that but I... I've been feeling bad for days a-and—"
Soobin cut Kai off right then and there. Soobin was always kind, always quiet, still with a soft demeanor. He wasn't going to yell at Kai nor blame him for what had happened at all; it wasn't his fault. It was all Soobin's; if only he hadn't confessed. Only he hadn't been so straightforward with his feelings, they wouldn't be awkward right now. Soobin looked down for a moment and gave Kai the happiest smile he could muster; it was broken, his eyes were empty and Kai could damn sure see it. As the oldest in the situation, Soobin had to take responsibility though.
"Listen. You have nothing to feel bad about Kai. You love Taehyun and I knew that. I accepted that. I accept your rejection with open arms and I wish you and Taehyun happiness. He's better suited for you anyway instead of someone weak like me..."
Soobin trailed off which made Kai want to correct the older. "I was always unworthy of your love." Soobin wasn't weak! Nor was he unworthy of his love or anyone's for that matter but before Kai could speak, Soobin started again.
"I want you to forget about anything I've said. Any kiss we've shared. Any passes I've made, we are just friends. I understand that you only like me as that. We are nothing more, nothing less. You don't have to hammer that into me." Why was Kai's chest tightening? Isn't this what he wanted? Why did tears threaten to spill the more he heard his leader go on and on about this. He rejected Soobin...He told Soobin that he couldn't see him like that.. He told Soobin no.
"I get that Taehyun is a better man than I am. He could love you completely and appreciate the beauty he has in front of him a lot better than I am cable of. So please," then there was a voice crack. Kai went wide eyed when he saw with his own two eyes something he hadn't seen in years...Soobin was crying. Oh god, he had made Soobin cry. "Hyung—" "Kai. Please. Just forget about me okay? We are just friends...I got ahead of myself. That's all I wanted to say." After that, an awkward silence and a pitiful nod from Huening Kai made Soobin exit the practice room.
Kai stood there frozen, looking down at his sneakers. Sure, he had always had a crush on Taehyun and while they had confirmed mutual feelings, in the midst of all this, Soobin had told Kai the truth, leaving him confused for days. A week had past and again, he told Soobin no... So why... Why was he crying?
"Why does it hurt so bad?"