Chapter Text
Hailey stands in her kitchen, her body practically vibrating with a mix of emotions. She can’t quite pinpoint what exactly she is feeling, but it’s a strange cross of disappointment, anger, and heartbreak. How did she let this happen? Somewhere over the last couple of months, she had forgotten what this was. Forgotten what they had agreed to. She wishes more than anything that she had taken the time to get dressed before she had rushed after him.
“You knew what I wanted from the start. Don’t stand there and make this out to be all my fault.” He yanks his shirt over his head and turns to look at her. His gaze hardens at the tears in her eyes.
The man standing in her kitchen could be a complete stranger. This is not Jay...not the Jay she knows anyway. The cold look in his eyes confirms her worst fears. She never had him...he was never hers and maybe this really was all her fault. Pulling the sheet tighter around her body, she gathers the courage she needs to be able to tell him this is the end, that she messed up.
“You’re right.” Her voice is quiet, but there is a strength behind her words. “I blurred the lines, and I can admit that. This...whole thing was a mistake. I never should have talked you into this in the first place.” She pauses, thinking about what else she needs to say, and Jay takes that moment to speak.
“I meant what I said. Your friendship matters to me. I need us to still be…”
Hailey’s mirthless laugh cuts him off. Friends...he thinks they can still be friends after everything?
“You should leave.” She holds the sheet tight against her chest as she moves to the door, opening it.
Jay follows her to the door with a sinking feeling of dread heavy in his stomach. When he steps through the door he turns, expecting her to say something...maybe beg him to stay or reconsider, but she only stares at the floor.
“Hailey please, can we just go back to what we were before?” He doesn’t want to lose her as a friend.
“No...No we can’t just go back. I’m in love with you Jay. I love you.” The tears she had fought so hard not to shed begin to fall.
“Stop saying that!” He doesn’t want to hear her tell him that. “I don’t love you. Do you understand that? I won’t.” He sees the words register with her and the look of devastation that crosses her face, but he pushes on, twisting the knife.
“I will never love you. I was upfront from the beginning about what this was. No strings attached...ringing any bells? You are the one who broke the rules...not me. I’m sorry if your feelings got hurt, but that’s on you.” He drags a hand through his hair and looks out towards the street, wondering if he can say anything that will fix this. Some way to salvage their friendship.
“Well...at least I’m good for something right? Unloveable but fuckable.” Her voice is void of any emotion and the look she gives him scares the fuck out of him.
Apparently her father had been telling her the truth when he’d shout at her that nobody would love someone like her. Every slap and backhand had been punctuated with those words. ‘Worthless little piece of shit...nobody loves you Hailey. Nobody cares about you. Better get used to it now.’ A part of her just turns off at the realization. She no longer has the energy to do this...to fight for him. She turns to walk away, not even caring if he lets her close the door or not, but his hand darts out to grip her wrist and she stops, looking over her shoulder at him.
“No. Hailey no, that’s not…” The shattered look in her eyes stops his heart and he tries to backtrack, tries to tell her what he had meant, but she doesn’t give him the chance.
“Goodbye Jay.” She manages to pull the door closed after, flicking the lock, and ignores his panicked voice as he calls out for her, banging his fist against the door.
Somehow she makes it to her room before she completely falls apart. She had fallen in love with someone who could never love her, and in one fell swoop, she’d lost her best friend too.
She lets herself cry until she feels like there isn’t a single drop of water left in her body, and then she stands. She untangles herself from the sheet and drags her broken self into the shower. Under the stream of the steaming water, she tries to piece herself back together.