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Arthur can tell that he’s just a drink or two away from an unbearable hangover tomorrow, so he waves off Percy’s shouted offer of “Just one more!” He’s comfortable where he is, crammed into the booth between Leon and Merlin. Even though they all get together every Friday (and have since they were children), this is still the best part of Arthur’s week.
Merlin chooses to grab another pint glass from Percy’s tray, but Leon shakes his head.
It’s Gwaine who notices. “Leon, man, what’s up? You didn’t drink anything all night. You feeling okay?”
“Yeah,” Percy adds, “I haven’t seen you drink for a couple of weeks. Are you pregnant or something?”
Arthur feels Leon’s body go rigid next to him.
Morgana laughs, so drunk that it’s practically a cackle. “Has there been another immaculate conception? Because there’s certainly been nobody around to get him knocked up!”
The group falls silent but for Merlin’s gasped “Morgana!” Arthur can feel Leon practically vibrating with – is it anger? shock? – next to him, and Arthur is instantly ready to defend his friend. Unfortunately, before Arthur has the chance to say anything, Leon is jumping out of the booth, his face bright red even in the bar’s dim light.
Leon looks behind him, like he’s making sure that nobody is eavesdropping, and then slams his hands onto the tabletop and leans in.
“Not that it’s any of your business,” he hisses, “but yes, it’s true. I’m pregnant.”
He’s out the door and gone before Arthur realizes that his mouth is hanging open in astonishment. Arthur flails his arms, searching desperately for his coat. He needs to catch Leon.
Merlin grabs his arm. “Not now,” he says, quietly enough that only Arthur can hear him. “He won’t want to see anyone now. He was going to tell you on Monday.”
Arthur doesn’t really care what Merlin thinks right now. Leon – his best friend – is pregnant, and Arthur didn’t even know that he was seeing anyone.
He needs to clear his head, and he can’t do it in this bar.
Merlin’s hand tightens on his forearm. “I mean it, Arthur. He doesn’t need his right now.”
Arthur knows that Merlin is probably right. After all, Leon has been keeping this to himself for a reason. But Arthur still wants to run after him.
“Please. Let him come to you.” Merlin is practically begging now, and that’s what finally undoes Arthur’s resolve to follow Leon home. “Promise me.”
Arthur knows that he sounds like a petulant toddler when he answers, but he can’t quite bring himself to care.
“Fine, I’ll wait.”
That night, it’s only Arthur’s immense respect for Merlin’s opinion that keeps him from driving to Leon’s place. He wants – so much – to visit his oldest friend and find out why Leon had kept this from him. He needs to know why Leon would ever hide a pregnancy from his friends and who got him pregnant in the first place.
The only solution is to drink. A lot.
He nearly empties his entire emergency stash, but it does its job and keeps him in his own home, away from Leon.
He has just one moment of weakness. In his defense, it had seemed like a good idea when he had been drinking steadily for more than six hours. Just one text message couldn’t hurt, he had thought.
Y didnt u want to tell me??
Monday morning, he’s at work a full hour earlier than he needs to be, but he just can’t sit at home any longer. His Sunday was spent cleaning – if nothing else good comes from this, at least Leon’s pregnancy has caused Arthur’s house to be cleaner than he ever thought possible.
Leon had never responded to the text, and Arthur is practically vibrating with nervous energy. Leon is pregnant and he didn’t even tell Arthur – his best friend? It stings, and Arthur can’t decide if he’s more worried or hurt. Something must be wrong for Leon to keep this from him. There have never been any secrets between them. What could be so bad that Leon felt the need to keep quiet about this?
It turns out he’s not the only one feeling nervous – Leon is waiting in Arthur’s office, sitting in one of the overstuffed, too-fancy chairs in front of the desk, his head pillowed on his forearms on Arthur’s desk. Merlin is standing behind him, running his hand in small circles over Leon’s upper back. Leon is – is he crying?
Arthur is frozen in place, shocked into silence at what he’s seeing. He’s close enough to catch parts of their conversation.
“…if he doesn’t?”
“He will, Leon. I promise.”
“But – ” Leon sobs out, and Arthur finds himself moving before he can even think about it. He strides into the office, surprising both of them, and drops to his knees next to Leon’s chair. Leon hides his face, so Arthur reaches out for Leon’s knee and squeezes.
“Leon, what’s wrong? Please tell me.” He pauses, unsure how to proceed.
It’s Merlin who speaks first. “Arthur, Leon has something to tell you. I’m just here for moral support.”
Leon visibly steels himself before lifting his head. When he finally looks at Arthur, his eyes are red and swollen. It’s obvious he’s been crying for a long time. There is no trace of helplessness in those eyes, though. Leon looks directly at him, and the resolve that Arthur sees there makes him stand and walk to the other side of his desk.
This is not the sweet, gentle Leon that he knows.
“Arthur,” he begins, his voice too loud for the size of the room. “I’m pregnant. Almost three months in. I don’t need anything right now, and I don’t really want to talk about it. I will work my normal workload until the baby is born, and then I will take my allowed paternal leave. I would like to request an additional unpaid leave of six months after that.”
Arthur is shocked. This is not his Leon. This Leon in front of him is cold and all business. He’s not Arthur’s best friend since childhood – Arthur doesn’t know him. And he doesn’t like him.
“Of course,” Arthur chokes out, “of course you can have extra leave. Leon, you practically run this place for me. You can have as much time as you want. Is there…”
He’s not sure how to say this. “Is there anything I can do?”
Leon’s frosty gaze thaws slightly, and he smiles, though it looks more like a grimace. “No, but thank you. I have everything that I need.”
Merlin, who had until then been standing silently behind Leon, pokes him gently and clears his throat. Leon mumbles a “Not now” and keeps his eyes on Arthur.
“No, you need to tell him now. You need to know. You told me that just this morning.”
That’s the Merlin Arthur knows and loves: that gangly exterior covering a spine of steel.
Once, Arthur had thought that Merlin was the one for him. They had been inseparable since they met at age sixteen, and had dated for nearly five years after finishing university, but both of them had come to realize that, though they may have been the great duo their names suggested, they were not meant to be together romantically. “Soulmates of a sort,” Merlin had joked; they were the perfect counterpoints to each other in almost all aspects of their life, except romantically. They were both too headstrong and opinionated to sustain a healthy relationship.
They should have won an award for the world’s most amicable breakup. Arthur and Merlin went from lovers to friends with the same ease that they had started their relationship in the first place.
Neither of them have seriously dated anyone in the three years that they have been apart, though Arthur often wonders when someone is going to come along and realize just how great Merlin is. Anybody would be lucky to end up with Merlin – he’s unwaveringly loyal, always helpful, instantly sympathetic – he would be the perfect man to have at your side in any occasion and oh –
Merlin’s presence here today, his surety at the bar that he knew how Leon would react – is Merlin the father of Leon’s baby?
Arthur is hit with a wave of burning jealousy. It comes out of nowhere, and it scalds him to his core. He’s shocked. He didn’t think that he still had feelings for Merlin. They had been nothing more than friends for years. Sure, Arthur has always wanted children, but he never anticipated this horrible sickness at the thought of Merlin having them with someone else.
He’s been silent for too long, he realizes. “What is it, Leon? You can ask me anything.”
Leon takes a deep breath. “Okay. The thing is – I’m not dating anyone. I’m not getting married. I hope that’s not going to look bad for the company.”
Pendragon & Son’s reputation is the last thing on his mind. All Arthur can focus on is the fear and uncertainty in Leon’s eyes. Leon who has always been there for Arthur, who stood by him through his decision to continue the family business after his father’s death, who is the first person Arthur thinks about in the morning and the last person he thinks of before he goes to bed at night. But that’s the way all childhood best friends are, isn’t it? Doesn’t everyone want to spend every minute of the day with – fuck.
It’s like something inside him clicks into place. Arthur is in love with his best friend. The support. The late-night text messages. The lengths to which Arthur will go just to see that bright smile. Arthur is in love with Leon and he’s not even sure how long he’s felt this way.
He’s not jealous that Merlin is having children – he’s jealous of this unknown man who slept with Leon but doesn’t want to be a part of his life. How could anyone do that to this sweet man?
The very thought of someone putting his hands all over Leon and not caring enough to stick around afterwards has him clutching his desk against the desire to hit something. He wants to fight, to find someone to absorb his aggression, to hold Leon and promise that he’ll never let him go.
It’s the worst possible time for this revelation. Arthur is in love with a man he’s known his entire life. And that man is now having someone else’s baby.
Leon is looking at Arthur like he’s daring him to say something negative.
“Leon,” he manages to choke out, “none of us give a damn about who you choose to date or not date. And any customers who are bothered by a single father aren’t customers we want to have.”
He pauses, aware that his response is that of an employer, not a friend. Certainly not a friend who has just realized a deep and apparently all-consuming love. He tries again.
“I’ll do anything I can for you. Whatever you need, please just ask. You’re my best friend – you’re everybody’s friend – and I just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks,” Leon says, offering a watery smile. “I know this doesn’t put us in a good position for the holiday season, but I’ll work as hard as I can to make sure that profits don’t suffer.”
Arthur is becoming dizzy from his rapidly shifting emotions: from confusion to anger to jealousy, and now back to confused. Why is Leon acting like this? Like work is the important thing here and not the fact that he is having a baby? There’s only one thing to do.
“Merlin, will you leave us alone, please?”
Merlin looks to Leon, and seeing his small nod, walks toward the door. “Call me later if you need to talk,” he says, but Arthur isn’t sure which of them he’s addressing.
As soon as the door closes behind Merlin, Leon slumps in his chair, sighing. He suddenly looks ten years older.
“I appreciate you allowing me to take the extra time off. Thank you.”
Arthur has had enough. “Leon!” He’s definitely too loud, but he’s beyond the point of caring. “Why are you acting like this?”
Leon is quick to respond. “Like what? I’m just trying to do what’s best for the company.”
Arthur wants to shake him. “What’s wrong with you? I’m your friend and I just want to know that you’re okay. I don’t care about the company – I care about you!”
He’s never actually yelled at Leon like this before, and to his horror, he sees Leon’s eyes fill with tears again. Arthur is on his feet in a heartbeat, moving to sit in the chair next to Leon.
He’s probably crowding Leon, but he doesn’t care. He has to find out what is happening to this man who, it turns out, he has loved for years. Without even thinking about it, he finds himself grabbing for Leon’s hand. This isn’t them – they’re not the hand-holding type of friends – but it suddenly seems very important that Arthur is touching Leon right now.
He’s squeezing too hard, but he just doesn’t care.
“Please tell me what’s really going on. How do you feel?” He’s surprised to hear his voice quiver.
Leon wrenches his hand out of Arthur’s grasp. “I told you what’s going on. I’m pregnant. I need paternity leave, and I’m sorry it’s at a bad time, but I’ll work hard to make sure we don’t suffer too much. That’s all.”
“No, that’s not all! You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone and now you’re pregnant and all you care about is work! Why don’t you want to talk to me about this?”
Leon’s voice is nearly unrecognizable as he hisses, “It’s private. It doesn’t involve you.”
“I’m your best friend,” Arthur bellows, his patience exhausted.
It’s like watching a marionette whose strings have just been cut. There’s no word to describe what happens but crumble. Leon slumps in his chair, his face falls, and every line of his body screams “I give up.” He won’t look at Arthur, and he’s – he’s suddenly sobbing.
Even though he’s not sure it will be welcome, Arthur insinuates himself into Leon’s personal space until he has wrapped him up in a hug. He senses that more questions will only make Leon more upset, so he cups the back of Leon’s head with one hand and just lets him cry.
“You’re right,” Leon eventually whispers. Arthur pulls back so they can face each other as they talk, but he instantly misses the closeness. He settles for kneeling in front of him and holding both of Leon’s hands.
Leon speaks in spurts, a few sentences at a time in between gradually slowing sobs and shuddering deep breaths.
“You’re right. You’re my best friend and I shouldn’t have kept this from you. I thought I could do this on my own, but I’m scared. I want this baby, but I don’t know what I’m doing. And when people ask me what I need, I don’t know what to tell them.”
“Maybe…just support?” Arthur ventures.
“I guess so,” Leon sighs.
“Leon,” Arthur begins, pausing until Leon meets his eyes, “everything that I have to offer is yours. I’ll do anything for you, at any time.” It feels vitally important that Leon understands just how serious Arthur is here.
“You don’t have to do this on your own. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Really?”
“I swear it.”
Leon’s eyes are full of what looks like hope for the first time today. He stares at Arthur for a long moment and then leans in to seize him in a bruising hug.
It feels so good to have a warm, happy (well, happier) Leon in his arms that he does nothing but hug back, reveling in the warmth radiating from Leon’s body and the tickling of his hair against Arthur’s cheek. There’s nothing he wants more than to hold him for hours, but after a few minutes he starts to feel awkward. Now is not the time to upset Leon, and he would certainly be upset if he found out how Arthur feels.
He needs to diffuse the tension somehow, so he jokes, “I can’t wait to be cool Uncle Arthur.”
Wow, that hurts more than he could have imagined. The thought of Leon, happy with someone else’s child as Arthur hovers in the background hits him like a punch in the stomach. He wants that life fiercely, but he’s just a little too late.
“Yeah, you’ll be great,” Leon says, releasing him and standing. He’s stopped crying, but his voice sounds strange.
“Thank you for everything, Arthur. Are we okay?”
From his position on the floor, Arthur nods. “We’re okay.”
“I’ll see you soon, then,” Leon says, waving as he heads out the door.
The second it closes behind him, Arthur feels tears prickle at the corners of his own eyes. He’s not sure how long he stays there, half in tears, half numb, but it must be a while because the next thing he knows, his assistant is pushing a cup of tea into his hand and guiding him toward the office’s small couch. His knees are aching and it feels like the world is ending, so he heads home to either sleep or drink enough that he can forget the last few days of his life.
A week later, Arthur is still adjusting. He sees Leon in the office, but they haven’t talked. Arthur is worried because Leon always looks tired and sad, but he doesn’t know how to start the conversation. Percy has just returned from a conference, so he and Arthur call it a “business dinner” and treat themselves to a nice meal. Business talk takes them through their drinks and appetizers, but as soon as their first plates are whisked away, Percy blurts out, “Okay, what’s happening with Leon?”
Arthur is so glad he didn’t have to be the one to broach the topic.
“Well, I think that everybody knows everything that he’s willing to tell us. He’s pregnant, he’s having the baby, and he’s doing it alone. He says that – ”
“Right, but who’s the other father?” Percy interrupts. “He definitely didn’t tell me that he was dating anyone. I know I’ve been busy lately, but not so busy that I would miss Leon with a boyfriend!”
“Maybe it was just a one-night thing,” Arthur suggests. That’s the idea that’s been killing him – the thought that some stranger in a club or at a party got to spend a night with Leon and couldn’t be bothered to stick around and discover what an amazing man he is.
But Leon’s definitely not the type to sleep around. It just doesn’t make sense.
“I guess,” Percy says slowly. “You know what? For a couple of days I thought that it could be Merlin.”
Arthur blushes, remembering his initial anger at the idea that Merlin was having a child with Leon. Thankfully, Percy misinterprets his discomfort as confusion.
“No, just think about it! Merlin was the first person to know, he never leaves Leon’s side, and he’s being really overprotective. I really thought it could be him, but I realized that he would never treat a pregnant guy like that. Merlin would stand by his man, you know?”
That’s the same conclusion that Arthur had reached. Even though Leon had never explicitly stated that Merlin wasn’t the other father, Arthur had decided that it couldn’t be Merlin, because Merlin would be shouting his parental happiness from the rooftops, not forcing his partner to endure a pregnancy alone.
“But I don’t know who it could be,” Percy continues. “I wish I knew – ”
He’s interrupted by the arrival of their meal, and that’s the last time they mention Leon that night, though Arthur is constantly thinking of him.
Gwaine’s delivery route just happens to bring him to the offices of Pendragon & Son right when he’s due to take a break, so he and Arthur head to the coffee shop around the corner.
They’re the only patrons, so their seat at a small table tucked into a corner feels very private, which, combined with the fact that Arthur hasn’t seen Gwaine since that night at the bar, causes Arthur to simply blurt out the question that’s always on his mind: “Do you know who Leon got pregnant with?”
Gwaine doesn’t now (not that Arthur had really expected he would) but he has some new information: he often makes deliveries to doctors’ offices, and he had run into Leon nearly six months ago. It wasn’t until just recently that Gwaine had realized that it was an obstetrician’s office.
“I didn’t really think anything of it until now. At first, I figured that I just misremembered the date, but I checked the delivery logs, and it really was that long ago.” He pauses, looks around, and drops his voice to a whisper. “He told me he’s only three months pregnant, so what was he doing there half a year ago? Do you think he was trying to have a baby?”
The revelation rocks Arthur. Leon was seeing a doctor three months before he became pregnant? Had he been planning a family with someone? And had that person then left, leaving him alone to raise their child?
Arthur’s not sure what expression crosses his face, but whatever it is, it makes Gwaine huff out a laugh and say, “I know, man. It’s crazy to think about. What do you say we call it a day and go find something to drink?”
Arthur can’t get over the idea that Leon’s pregnancy might have been planned. The thought of Leon happily planning a family with someone, all the while keeping it a secret from his closest friends, is enough to keep him away from Leon. He’s afraid the hurt will show on his face.
He catches Leon looking his way a few times, but even though Leon looks increasingly sad, Arthur just can’t approach him. He doesn’t know the actual circumstances behind Leon’s pregnancy, but the scenario he has crafted in his head has him upset enough that he’s not sure what he might say if he actually talks to Leon.
That doesn’t mean that Leon’s sad eyes don’t haunt his dreams every night.
Merlin is taking Leon to all of his appointments and attending parenting classes with him. Arthur wishes that it didn’t hurt as much as it does, but he’s burning with both anger and jealousy at Merlin getting to share this part of Leon’s life that Arthur apparently has no place in.
He had told Leon that he would do anything for him, so why hadn’t Leon asked him for help? It would be sheer hell to watch him learn about having a family that Arthur wouldn’t be a part of, but he would do it for Leon.
Merlin and Leon haven’t been trying to hide it, but they weren’t exactly telling the whole world, either. Arthur only finds out when he sees the “OUT OF OFFICE – DOCTOR” notice on both of their schedules on the office’s digital calendar. Why isn’t it common knowledge? he wonders. It doesn’t make sense. Leon wants this baby – he told Arthur that – so why is he skulking around the office, blushing, frowning, and changing the subject whenever anyone mentions the baby? And Merlin loves to help out his friends and to offer people support (for heaven’s sake, he spelled out “Good luck Gwaine!” in cupcakes in preparation for Gwaine’s first job interview), so why isn’t he doing that now? Why isn’t their office planning baby showers and placing bets on the baby’s arrival date? It just feels wrong.
Even though it’s killing him, Arthur goes with the flow. He doesn’t mention the baby, and he goes back to treating Leon like he had before. It’s not easy, though – ever interaction feels fake and forced when all he wants to do is shout how much he loves him.
Hello, it’s Freya. Merlin’s friend.
Could we please meet for coffee? I need to talk to you.
Arthur’s not sure how Freya even got his number (they’ve never once needed to call each other), but when he wakes to these messages at seven on a Saturday morning, he’s concerned enough about Merlin that he’s meeting Freya for breakfast not even an hour later.
She’s more nervous than Arthur remembers, as she attempts to make small talk until the waiter finally takes their order. The second the man is out of earshot, though, she leans in conspiratorially.
“Is the baby Merlin’s?”
Arthur chokes on a mouthful of water. “I don’t think so,” he finally manages to choke out. “Why, do you?”
“I’m not sure,” she says slowly, “but I’m starting to think that he might be.” She starts ticking off points on her fingers. “He’s taking Leon to classes and his appointments. He’s buying baby things constantly. And he’s basically moved in with Leon.”
“He’s what?” Arthur had no idea. But Freya would know; after all, she is Merlin’s roommate.
“Merlin hasn’t been home for almost three weeks.”
It’s devastating, this new insight into his friends’ lives. As long as Leon was single, Arthur was able to maintain the foolish notion that he and Leon had a chance. But Merlin and Leon together? On one hand, Arthur would never want to come between friends. But on the other hand, his jealousy is reaching new heights. He wants what Merlin has: a family with Leon. The thought that he’ll only ever be Uncle Arthur – so close and yet so far away from the life he wants – is going to destroy him, he knows. He can see it with perfect clarity, years of solitude and bitterness until it gets to be too much and he can’t stand to be around any of them.
Freya’s voice breaks through his reverie. “…didn’t know.”
“I’m sorry, what?” He shakes his head, hoping to shake out the upsetting future that he’s crafting for himself.
Freya reaches across the table and takes his hand.
“I said I’m sorry. I had no idea that you were still in love with Merlin.”
“I’m not!” he sputters. “I mean, I do love him, but I’m not in love with him anymore.”
“Oh, Arthur.” Her voice is gentle now, so gentle that she sounds just like she did the first time they met, nearly ten years ago. “It’s Leon?”
For a split second, he considers denying it, but he knows she’ll see right through his bluff. “It’s Leon,” he agrees. “And I took him getting pregnant for me to realize it.”
The story pours out of him. Freya is the perfect person to talk to, he realizes, because she’s ben tangentially attached to their group of friends for years, but she has no real connection to anyone but Merlin. She and Arthur have never been close, but he finds himself spilling every detail, confessing everything that he’s been keeping to himself for months. It’s oddly cathartic, getting it all out in the open, and Freya bears his explosion of feeling gracefully.
“There’s one thing that I don’t understand, though,” he says as he’s winding down. “If this is Merlin’s baby, why isn’t he ecstatic? Why isn’t he telling everyone? I would want the whole world to know if I was having a baby.”
“That’s why I’m not sure,” Freya agrees, punctuating her speech with a slap of her palm against the tabletop. “Merlin loves with his whole heart – you know that – but right now, he’s holding something back. And I do not understand it.”
Arthur leaves a few minutes later, unable to eat anything and more uncertain than ever as to what the hell is going on.
Morgana makes dinner for Arthur one Friday a month. They’ve never been close, but they both feel that Uther would have wanted them to continue this family tradition. The dinners are usually civil, but Morgana occasionally takes to harassing him about leaving the family business to find something that he truly loves. No matter how much he swears that he loves what he does, Morgana hates that he chose to continue in their father’s footsteps.
Tonight’s dinner is different. The two of them started drinking before dinner even came out of the oven, and now, after nearly three hours, Arthur is feeling pleasantly warm and fuzzy. He remembers Morgana asking him what he thinks about Leon being an “unwed father” and filling her in on all of the details he’s discovered from the rest of their friends, but the next thing he’s aware of is the morning sun shining through the curtains in Morgana’s spare bedroom.
He stands slowly, please to discover that he appears to have avoided a hangover. He leaves a note for Morgana before heading home to climb into his own bed.
Arthur’s just crawled under the covers when he hears his phone chime with a text message. Seeing Leon’s name on the screen is a shock – they haven’t been talking at all lately.
The text is brief: Please check your email.
Arthur thumbs across the screen to his inbox and is floored by what he reads. Leon is taking early leave, on the recommendation of his doctor, due to excessive stress at work.
He hadn’t realized that Leon was having trouble at work. Why didn’t he say something? Arthur would have done anything he could to help him. He calls Leon immediately, but the call rings through to voicemail, so he decides to text instead.
Are you okay? Do you need anything?
Arthur knows that Leon must be near his phone – he sent that text just a minute ago – but it takes nearly ten minutes to get a response.
It’s disappointingly short: I’m fine. Thank you.
This has to stop. Arthur is not going to let his best friend shut him out like this. He thumbs out a response and hits send.
He regrets it instantly.
Stop acting like this! I don’t know if you’re embarrassed or what, but I can’t handle you shutting me out. I don’t care about the baby, I just want things to go back to normal!
Shit. He types frantically, trying to undo the damage.
I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.
Of course I care about the baby.
I care about you.
He hesitates, then decides to lay it all on the line.
It feels like I’m losing you and I’m not dealing with it very well. Please forgive me.
Leon doesn’t respond, but Arthur didn’t really expect him to.
It doesn’t hit him until Monday morning: he’s not going to see Leon for months. Unless there is some kind of party, Arthur won’t see him until he visits in the hospital, and right now he’s not even sure if he’s going to be welcome there.
Arthur and Leon have not gone more than a week without seeing each other for nearly two decades, except for one disastrous summer of different sports camps that had them both skipping out on camp activities to sit in their rooms and write to each other. They’re so deeply ingrained in each other’s lives that Arthur can’t understand how they’ve come to this. They’ve always been inseparable, and this is killing him.
He doesn’t even make it a week before he finds himself at Leon’s front door in the middle of the night. The lights are off, but Leon’s and Merlin’s cars are both parked in Leon’s assigned spots.
No one answers his repeated knocks on the door, so he pulls out is phone and calls Leon, then Merlin when it goes straight to voicemail. Nobody comes to the door, but he can hear voices inside now.
“Leon! Please let me in!” He doesn’t mean to yell, but that’s the way it comes out. “I have to talk to you! Please!”
“Arthur, stop.” It’s Merlin, and his quiet, pleading voice from the other side of the door halts Arthur’s fist mid-knock. “You should go home.”
“I can’t!” Arthur yells, trying for reasonable but falling far short. “Merlin, I need to talk to him.”
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea right how. He’s upset, and so are you.”
Under any other circumstances, Arthur would be so proud of Merlin for protecting his friend. Right now, though, Merlin is the gatekeeper that he needs to impress to earn his way inside, and he feels like punching him.
Arthur takes a deep breath and tries again. “I need to see him, Merlin. Something’s gone wrong between us and I need to fix it.”
“All right, but hat can wait until the morning. Go home.”
“No, it has to be now!” It’s talking all of his willpower to keep his voice low. “I’ve messed up so many times in the last few months, but I just never know what I’m supposed to do or say. This is killing me and I need to fix it right now.”
Merlin doesn’t respond, but Arthur knows him. He knows that the silence means Merlin is thinking – and that he’s wavering.
“Please,” Arthur begs one last time. “You know me, Merlin. You know I don’t want to upset him. I love Leon, so why would I want to hurt him?”
He can hear Leon’s voice now, raised sharply. The deadbolt clicks, and the door opens. Merlin steps out and closes it behind him before Arthur can react.
“Give me your keys,” Merlin orders.
“What? Come on, I just want to see him.”
“Give me your keys. Now,” Merlin repeats, his hand held out.
Arthur complies, confused, but willing to do anything to get to Leon faster.
Merlin reaches out and grabs Arthur’s arm, squeezing tighter than Arthur had thought possible. “I know you don’t ever mean to hurt anyone, but you have to be careful here. Talk to him, don’t yell. This is the only chance you’ll get to make this right, Arthur. Otherwise you’re going to lose him forever.”
“Okay,” Arthur stammers, struck by the magnitude of what Merlin has just said. “My keys?”
Merlin laughs. “Collateral. I’m going to your house, and if you hurt him, I’m going to ruin you. I’ll publish all of those photos and videos of us together. I’ll sell your credit card and bank account information. I’ll burn all of those hideous paintings that you love so much. I’ll…I’ll sew raw fish into your car’s upholstery!”
Merlin’s clearly run out of threats, and they both start laughing at the ridiculousness of that last one. This is why Arthur and Merlin will always be friends: Merlin’s firm sense of right and wrong combined with his unwavering loyalty and fierce protectiveness of his friends.
Their laughter gradually dies out, and Merlin gives Arthur’s arm a shake. “I mean it. Please don’t hurt him.”
“I won’t,” Arthur promises. “I meant what I said. I…I love him,” he confesses.
Merlin’s eyes are bright in the darkness. He leans in close to whisper, “I know. I’ve known for years. I’ve just been waiting for you to figure it out.”
With one last squeeze to Arthur’s arm, Merlin heads for his car, leaving him stunned on the doorstep. Arthur stands there, mouth open in shock, for what must be a full minute before realizing that he needs to be inside – with Leon.
Arthur takes a deep breath, shakes the tension out of his limbs, and opens the door. Leon is sitting on the couch in his living room, clutching a pillow to his chest. A small lamp on the end table provides the room’s only light, and Arthur is struck by the beauty of the tableau.
Leon is only wearing shorts, and the throw pillow he’s holding onto can’t hide the huge swell of his stomach. His red curls are wild around his head and are glowing like a halo.
He’s beautiful.
All that Arthur feels is a burning want. He desperately wants to be the one living with Leon, taking him to his appointments and documenting the changes to his body. He longs to see Leon’s bright grin as soon as he wakes up each day and to hear his laughter echoing through the halls of their home. He wants to become a father with Leon. He wants to spend the rest of their lives together.
He wants – well, it’s not important what he wants. Right now, the only thing that matters is keeping Leon in his life, and that’s only going to happen if this conversation goes well.
“Hey, Leon,” he says softly, and waits for Leon’s slow acknowledging nod before shrugging off his coat and sitting down next to him. He makes sure to put as much space as possible between them, because Leon’s tense posture is screaming that he does not want to be to be touched. Now that he’s had a chance to see Leon’s face up close, it’s evident that something is wrong. The circles under his eyes are so dark that he must not be sleeping well, the skin around his nose is rubbed raw as though he’s constantly been blowing it, and when he opens his eyes, Arthur is shocked to see that they’re so bloodshot and swollen that Leon can’t even open them all the way.
Seeing Leon like this is heartbreaking. Arthur can’t help but reach out and grab his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he says emphatically, trying to let Leon know how much he means it. But Leon simply shakes his head and mumbles, “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. This is my fault.”
“Wait, what do you mean?” Arthur is so confused. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t…you never do anything wrong.”
“No,” Leon asserts, shaking his head with more force. His voice has reached a normal volume now, but it’s still somehow so sad. “It’s my selfishness that caused all of this.”
Arthur’s sure that he must be making the squinty, head-tilted face that Morgana coined “confused puppy Arthur,” but he just can’t understand what Leon is trying to tell him. Leon thinks he’s being selfish? The pregnancy must have done something to portion of his brain that controls vocabulary, because there’s no other way that anyone could ever describe Leon as selfish. Arthur squeezes his hand and risks scooting closer to him.
“Leon, I’m confused,” he says slowly. “Maybe we should start over. How about if I say everything that I’m thinking and then you tell me everything that you need to say.”
Leon sniffles, but nods his assent. Arthur takes a deep breath and begins.
“Okay. I’ve never once been upset that you’re pregnant. I was upset that you felt like it was something that you needed to keep from me. I’m not upset that you’re taking time off from work – it’s just that I didn’t know how to treat you at the office. You didn’t want to talk about it, even though we wanted to celebrate with you. I just didn’t know if you were even happy at all, and we’re supposed to know everything about each other.”
He pauses, hoping with everything that he has that he’s going to be able to fix this, to make things right between them.
“I’m so sorry about that text message. I was upset and I wasn’t thinking. I care about you, and I was just so worried.”
Leon makes a quiet questioning sound, but he’s not moving away from Arthur, so Arthur takes a chance and reaches out to rest his other hand on Leon’s knee. Leon turns his body toward Arthur, and they’re close enough that it would be no effort at all to just fit their bodies together from head to toe.
Something about it – maybe it’s Leon’s breath gusting across his neck or the warmth that he feels against his palms or even the fact that it’s the first they’ve been this close to each other in months – makes him drop his guard, and he confesses what he’s been keeping to himself for so long.
“You have to know how much I care about you. I care about you more than anybody else. You’re so important to me – you’re the most important thing to me, and I can’t stand to see you so sad at what should be one of the happiest times in your life.” He sighs, and the movement drops his shoulder so that he’s actually leaning against Leon, still clutching one of his hands.
“I’m just so jealous,” he whispers. He’s not sure what else he can say.
“I know you’ve always wanted kids,” Leon says quietly. “But you’ll have some eventually. I’m sure.”
“No, that’s not it,” Arthur mumbles, tucking his head against Leon’s shoulder. “I’m jealous of him.”
He feels Leon’s body tense under him, and suddenly Leon is shaking his hand out from Arthur’s grip and pushing Arthur up so that they’re facing each other again.
“Arthur, what are you trying to say? I don’t understand.” His voice is so quiet and sad that Arthur just can’t bear thought of Leon not knowing for even another second.
“I can’t stand that there’s somebody out there was lucky enough to spend a night with you but didn’t want to stick around and have a baby with you. He doesn’t know what he’s missing, and I hate him for it.”
Leon’s shoulders slump. “I appreciate that you’re upset on my behalf, but it’s not like that, I swear.”
“That’s not – no, please, you have to understand.” Arhur knows he’s babbling, but it’s like he’s having an out of body experience. His mouth is moving independent of his brain. “Leon, I hate him because he could have had you and he chose not to. I would give anything to be him, for this to be our baby. I love you so fucking much, and you shutting me out like this is killing me.”
Leon’s breath catches in his throat, and he’s suddenly squeezing Arthur’s forearms so tightly that Arthur imagines he’ll have bruises in the morning. “You…you love me?” he whispers.
“I do. So much. I’m so sorry that it took this for me to realize it. And I’m so sorry that I’m throwing this at you right now, but I just needed you to understand why things have been so weird lately. I don’t expect anything from you, but –”
Leon shocks him into silence by leaning in and tilting their foreheads together. His hands move from Arthur’s arms to grip the back of Arthur’s neck. “I love you, too.”
Arthur is so shocked that he can’t do anything but open his mouth to Leon, to allow him to control the kiss, which begins as sweet and chaste but soon becomes deeper. It develops into this gorgeous, languid thing, with none of the awkwardness of a first kiss. Instead, by the time Arthur has regained his wits enough to actively participate, the kiss feels like something he’s been doing his whole life, and he has no idea how he’s gone so long without it.
They break apart, gasping for breath, and Leon grins. “We’re so stupid. You really love me?”
There’s no other answer he can give but, “Of course I do. How could I not?”
Leon lifts Arthur’s arm until he can slip under it and tucks himself against Arthur’s side. “I have a confession.”
The lure of Leon’s pink lips is too great, and Arthur tries to lean in for more kisses, but Leon pulls back. “No, we really do have to talk about this first,” he says, but he doesn’t sound angry. Arthur sighs – he can already see himself becoming addicted to the feeling of Leon’s mouth on his – but grumbles, “All right.”
“For me, it’s been a decade, maybe fifteen years. I’ve always followed you everywhere, so I thought that you knew and just didn’t feel the same way. I’ve been so hung up on you that I’ve never been able to stick with anyone for too long – because they always paled in comparison to you.”
“I’m sorry, I had no idea that – ”
“No,” Leon interrupts again, “please just let me talk. This is important.”
His tone is sobering, and Arthur instantly starts to worry. He thought that Leon kissing him meant that they were going to be together, but maybe he’s misinterpreted something.
“There is no guy to be jealous of, Arthur. I’ve always wanted to have a family, but every relationship I was in ended because – well, because it wasn’t you. I’m getting older, and I was ready to have a baby, so I decided to – to just have one. I figured that if I was never going to be with you, I could at least start a little family of my own. So I went to a fertility center and found a donor and went through artificial insemination. I don’t know anything about the guy except his family’s medical history. And,” Leon ducks his head a little in embarrassment, “I made sure that he had blond hair and blue eyes. Is that – is all of this okay with you?”
The thought that he could have had Leon all along, that this could have been his baby, sends a shot of anger through him. How could he have been so stupid? But he quickly realizes that it doesn’t matter now, and crushes Leon in a hug, being careful to keep pressure off of Leon’s stomach.
“I’m sorry you had to wait,” he says, and he can feel Leon smile against his neck.
“It’s okay – I’ve got you now,” Leon tells him just before he crushes their lips together again.
They kiss for what feels like hours, hands buried in each other’s hair, pulling away from each other only long enough to draw in ragged breaths before diving back in again. Arthur’s never experienced kissing like this – kissing that feels so natural and easy that it’s like they’ve been made to do this together.
Eventually, their awkward position due to Leon’s stomach becomes strange instead of novel, and they reluctantly separate.
“Can we – could we move this to my bed?” Leon asks, blushing.
Arthur’s not sure how Leon could possibly think that this isn’t something he wants, but he makes sure to let Leon know just how much he wants this by leaning back in for one more deep, bruising kiss before standing and offering Leon his hand.
They stumble to Leon’s room, and the second the door closes behind him, Arthur realizes something. “Hold on just one second,” he tells Leon. “I need to take care of something.”
Arthur returns to the living room and pulls his phone from his coat’s pocket.
Thank you for everything. Please don’t hurt my car.
Merlin returns his message instantly.
Congratulations, Arthur. You two will be great together. Take care of him, okay?
I will. I promise.
When Arthur gets back to the bedroom, Leon is already completely naked, stretched out on top of his bed. Arthur can’t do anything but stare.
Leon is gorgeous, all long limbs and golden hair. He’s reclining like some kind of god awaiting a supplicant, and Arthur is more than happy to worship.
He’s never seen anything like this. He had no idea that a pregnant belly could be this…this erotic. It’s like Leon’s stomach is magnetized – Arthur can’t keep away a second longer. He has to get his hands on it.
He stops, though, just inches away, and looks to Leon for permission. Leon swallows and nods, his eyes never leaving Arthur’s.
It feels nothing like he’d expected. Leon’s stomach is hard, but his skin is still so soft. Arthur’s not sure what he wants to do more: squeeze it or just drag his fingers back and forth across it. It’s an incredible experience, but he’s almost frozen with indecision.
A small whine from Leon pulls his direction away.
“Arthur, I really don’t want to ruin our first time here, but I’m six months pregnant. Nobody has touched me for nearly a year, and I can barely see my own cock. Please, please touch me.”
Nothing in Arthur’s life has ever prepared him for the swell of arousal that rises in him at Leon’s plea. He was already excited, but now he’s so hard that it hurts. He needs to touch and be touched as soon as possible.
Normally, he would drop down on top of his partner, but Leon’s stomach poses a problem. “Here, turn over on your side,” he suggests.
Leon grins. “Only if you take off your clothes.”
It takes just seconds for Arthur to comply, and he stretches out on the bed next to Leon. Leon leans in for a kiss, and they lose a few minutes in the slick slide of their mouths. But, incredible as the kisses are, the fact that their lower bodies are held demurely apart soon has both of them squirming for some way to resolve the situation. Arthur wants to press himself against Leon, to let Leon grind their hips together, but that’s not physically possible right now. In fact, he’s not sure how this is going to work.
“Arthur, please,” Leon begs.
Arthur scoots down toward the bottom of the bed, his hands skimming across Leon’s stomach as he goes.
“Oh,” Leon gasps as Arthur’s breath ghosts over him. “Oh, yes.”
Arthur would love to spend hours here, just teasing Leon until he can’t stand it anymore, but right now, Arthur’s too wired up to tease. Instead, he wraps a hand around Leon and strokes twice, loving the little moan that it pulls from him, and leans in to run his tongue in a slick little circle around the head of Leon’s cock.
Leon’s babbling already – “Oh god, Arthur, yes, please, yes, oh” in an endless loop that only increases in volume as Arthur opens his mouth and swallows him down as deep as he can go.
Arthur’s never been very good at this, this ignoring his own needs and lavishing attention on his partner, but right now all he wants is to take care of Leon. He’s so focused on showing Leon just how much he’s dreamed about being here, being with him, that it’s like his own needs are secondary at this point.
He experiments, playing around with different speeds and pressure, trying to see what Leon likes the best. It’s easy to get lost in the motion, and he finds himself pressing his hips against the mattress in time with the slide of his lips while Leon alternates between periods of broken speech and long, drawn-out moans. It’s an awkward position, though, so he gently prods Leon onto his back again.
Like this, he can grind against the mattress, wrap one hand around the base of Leon’s cock to move in unison with his lips, and use his other hand to caress Leon’s stomach. It’s so fucking good feeling Leon fall apart under him that Arthur is suddenly afraid that he’s going to go over the edge before Leon does.
Leon is whimpering and trying to speak, but Arthur can’t tell what he’s saying. He pulls off just long enough to ask, “What is it? What do you need?”
All that Leon can manage is, “More. Please, just more.”
Arthur can’t help but thrust his hips against the bed at just how wrecked Leon sounds. There’s this primal part of him that’s screaming “I did that to him! I made him sound like that!” and it takes all of his willpower to not just rut against the bed and finish right there and then.
“You have to tell me what you want,” Arthur tells him. “Just let me know.”
Leon lets out a frustrated little growl. “Want to fuck you, but I can’t. I’m too big.”
Holy hell, the thought of Leon fucking him had never even crossed his mind, but now that the idea is there, it’s all Arthur can see. Leon, draped over him on all fours, his hair brushing the back of Arthur’s neck as he pounded into him. Arthur riding Leon, Leon letting him do all the work and just use him to get off. Or Leon on top of him, Arthur’s knees pushed back toward his head as Leon doesn’t so much thrust but just grinds into him. Or –
Leon breaks through his thoughts. “Maybe you could fuck me?”
His words burn through Arthur, and he has to reach down quickly and squeeze himself as hard as he can to avoid coming early and ruining this.
“I’m sorry,” he gasps, “but I’m too close. I’d never make it.”
Leon lets out another sound of frustration. “I just want to be close to you.”
Arthur is at a loss. How can he get physically close to Leon without his stomach getting in the way? He runs a hand absently down Leon’s side, and Leon shivers. He does it again, just to see what kind of reaction he’ll get, and this time, Leon tries (unsuccessfully) to curl up into a ball. “That tickles!” he giggles.
Seeing Leon on his side again gives Arthur an idea. “Stretch out,” he tells him, “I’ll be right back.”
For as long as they have been old enough to need lube, Arthur has known where Leon keeps his: tucked into the fitted sheet at the head of the right side of the bed. He can’t help but smile when he finds it there now. Arthur pops the cap and slicks himself quickly, then crawls in behind Leon to fit their bodies together.
“Lift up,” he urges, helping Leon lift his leg just enough so that he can position himself between Leon’s thighs. Leon lets out a little moan when he realizes what Arthur is doing, and he helps out by squeezing his thighs together.
It’s like a punch to the gut, that first slide between Leon’s thighs. It’s not quite slick yet because the lube is only on him, but he can feel that in a few moments, it’s going to be unbelievably good.
“Lift up,” he says again, this time helping Leon to lift his upper body enough that Arthur can slide an arm beneath him. He places his hand in the middle of Leon’s broad, flat chest, and uses it to pull their bodies as close as they can get.
He’s holding back as much as he can. Once he starts thrusting in earnest, this will be over embarrassingly quickly, and he wants this to be so good for Leon, wants to show him how good they’re going to be together. He slides his other hand down over Leon’s stomach, careful not to wipe off too much of the lube. The sound that Leon makes when Arthur wraps a slick hand around his cock is a sound that Arthur’s heard before – it’s the quiet moaning noise he makes when he’s eating an especially good dessert. Arthur will never be able to look at a cake the same way again.
If he had complete control of himself, Arthur would love to draw this out, stroke Leon slowly as he pumps his hips languidly, their bodies flexing and coiling together. But this is the cry of months of wanting and months of celibacy to just do it already warring with Arthur’s desire to draw things out, and the needs of his body are quickly overruling the commands of his brain. He drives his hips in and up, sliding himself across the smooth skin of Leon’s thighs, slicking the way for himself.
He has to hold his wrist at a strange angle to account for Leon’s stomach, but that little quirk to proceedings is probably what’s allowing him to hold on for this long. He’s already burning, burning up inside with the need to just come, to show Leon that they belong to each other now, and he’s trying desperately to just hold on.
The hand that’s on Leon’s chest gets jostled by Arthur’s thrusts, and his fingers glance across Leon’s nipple. Leon’s entire body goes rigid, and even as Arthur is apologizing, Leon is hissing at him to “Do that again!”
Arthur tries his best to keep up the rhythm between his hips and the hand, the speed continuing to increase, while he rolls Leon’s nipple between his fingers. “Yes, yes, so fucking good, yes, so sensitive,” Leon is babbling, and it’s almost more than Arthur can bear.
“Leon, I’m going to come,” Arthur gasps. He can feel it building in him, just waiting to race out like a break in a dam. But he’s holding on, holding on even though it’s so so good, because Leon needs to be with him on this.
“Me too, I’m close,” Leon tells him. “Just – just a little faster.”
Arthur grits his teeth and does as he’s been asked. He matches the pace of the snaps of his hips with his hand on Leon’s dick and speeds up until he realizes that the whimpers he hears are coming from his own mouth. It’s too good, it’s too slick, and he’s wanted this for too long – he can’t hold back, so he whimpers, “Please sweetheart, please come,” and buries his face in Leon’s neck, his body trying to curl in on itself as he hurtles over the edge so hard that he nearly whites out. He comes in between Leon’s thighs, making an incredible mess that he slides through again and again, hips stuttering to a stop so that he can just grind in, drawing out those last shivery aftershocks for as long as he can.
Leon is babbling again, “Oh, fuck, there, fuck, love this, love you,” and then Arthur feels Leon’s whole body shake as he cries out wordlessly and presses his body back into Arthur’s. Arthur has just enough presence of mind to keep his thumb and fingers in a loose circle and allow Leon to milk the last of the pleasure out himself.
They lie there, panting, until Leon attempts to turn to face Arthur. “Hey, no,” Arthur tells him, “you stay there. I’ll come over to the other side."
As soon as they’re face to face, Leon is kissing him like he’s staking a claim, like he’s planting a flag on Arthur that tells the world that he belongs to Leon. Arthur returns the kiss with equal fervor, hoping that Leon knows just how much he wants that.
They kiss for so long that Arthur’s jaw starts to ache, but he pushes through it, unwilling to separate for even a moment. It’s Leon who finally breaks the kiss to say, “I love you.”
The next months pass in a whirlwind of parenting and delivery classes, shopping, and sex. Leon is insatiable, and Arthur is obsessed with the ever-changing shape of Leon’s body. Leon’s been keeping a baby scrapbook, and documenting the changes with a weekly photo always leads to Arthur pushing Leon back onto the bed and worshiping him with his hands and mouth until Leon is practically sobbing from how good it feels.
Arthur moves into Leon’s house, and their lives fold seamlessly together. It’s so perfect that it honestly feels like some sort of dream. He’s found love and they’re having a baby, and Leon is so happy that he’s actually glowing. They share the news with their friends and coworkers, and Merlin drags Arthur into planning the baby shower.
Arthur can’t stop smiling at how happy Leon is. Life is pretty fantastic.
Until the afternoon of the baby shower, when Arthur is asked if he hopes that the baby will look like him, and he realizes that everyone assumes that he is the baby’s other father.
Leon must be able to sense that something is up, even though Arthur tries to smile and be social for the rest of the party, because as soon as they get home, Leon asks him what’s wrong.
Arthur hadn’t realized that it would feel this bad, this bitter jealousy at having Leon and starting a family, but not technically being a part of it. This baby has nothing to do with him, and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to live knowing that.
Leon deserves to know how he’s feeling, so he confesses.
“It just hit me today that we’re going through this together and I’m going to raise this baby with you and that it’s your baby. It has nothing to do with me. And I know you said you made sure the guy had blond hair and blue eyes, but I’m not sure that’s enough for me. I’m sorry,” he finishes, hanging his head, sure that Leon will ask him to leave.
“Arthur, it’s okay,” Leon says gently. “I understand. This isn’t an easy situation, but we’ll get through this. I’m sorry that I didn’t make this clear earlier – I’ve been telling everyone that you’re the other father, because as far as I’m concerned, you are. You are the one that I love and the one who is going to raise this baby with me and love it with every bit of you. I don’t give a damn about the biology – this is your baby. It’s ours.”
Arthur has no idea what to say. He’s so moved by what Leon is telling him and what this means for the rest of his life. He’s going to be a father. Not just a parent, not just someone helping the man he love raise a stranger’s child, but a real father. He opens his mouth and what comes out is, “Marry me?”
They plan the wedding for three months after Leon’s due date. It’s just going to be a small civil ceremony with a reception at Freya’s restaurant, but it’s important to Arthur that Leon knows just how committed he is to him, and to their child. Morgana and Gwaine take care of the planning so that all Arthur needs to do is pick out their rings.
He’s on his way home from picking them up, the boxes heavy in his coat pocket, when his phone rings. He smiles the same goofy smile he always does when he sees Leon’s name on the screen, and answers with, “Guess what I just got!”
Leon’s voice is panicked. “Arthur? Arthur, I’m on my way to the hospital.”
He feels the blood drain from his face. The baby isn’t due for almost three weeks – they’re not ready for this!
“Is everything okay? How are you getting there? I’ll be right there, I swear!”
“I’m fine. Merlin and Percy are with me. I called the doctor, and she said that everything sounds normal, but that I should get to the hospital as soon as I could. Meet us here, but please don’t hurry, okay? Be safe.”
“I will,” Arthur promises, feeling like he’s about to cry. “I’ll get there as soon as I can. Just be okay. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Leon tells him before handing the phone over to Merlin. Merlin calmly relays the hospital information and also warns Arthur against hurrying. “He’s fine, just get here safely, please.” Arthur promises, but it’s so hard to keep from just jumping into his car and speeding away, especially when he hears Leon’s soft groan of pain in the background.
He’s honestly too upset to drive, and there’s a group of taxis parked in front of a hotel just down the street from the jewelers, so he takes this as a sign and resigns himself to getting to the hospital more slowly than he would like, but with fewer risks.
At least he can make some phone calls while he is in the cab. There’s someone he must talk to.
“Hello, Gaius?”
Gaius had been his father’s best friend, and is currently a doctor at the hospital that Leon is heading to. His specialty isn’t obstetrics, but that’s not what Arthur needs right now. Arthur needs him today because Gaius is also a priest.
Leon’s face is pale and blotchy, but he’s smiling when Arthur finally makes it to the labor and delivery wing.
“Is everything okay?” Arthur pants, still out of breath from running the length of the hospital.
“I’m fine,” Leon says, and the sentiment is echoed by both Merlin and Percy. He motions to Arthur, and Arthur moves around the bed to grab Leon’s hand. “The doctor said that it could take a couple of hours, but it’s definitely going to be today.”
Arthur swallows, hard, as the enormity of the situation hits him. He’s going to be a father. Today. There’s something he just has to do.
“Leon, I called Gaius. Will you marry me today?”
Leon is quiet, and Arthur’s sure he’s going to say no.
“Why today? We have everything planned. I want to marry you, but I don’t want to do it today just because you don’t want me to be an “unwed father” or something.”
“No, no, that’s not it!” Percy is snorting with laughter in the background, and Arthur makes a mental note to punch him later.
He kneels so that that he and Leon are eye-to-eye, and kisses him gently. “Leon, I want to marry you today because I love you more than anything else in the world. And maybe I’m selfish, but I want the day that our baby is born to be the most perfect day of our lives. I want our baby to know someday how he or she brought us together and how the day that it was born was the day that I realized I couldn’t go another second without being married to you.”
Leon’s nodding as fast as he can, and tears are starting to stream down his cheeks. Arthur’s starting to cry as well, and he can hear sniffles behind him that mean Merlin is close, too.
It’s Leon’s startled cry that snaps them all out of it. Arthur begins to ask what’s wrong, but Leon cuts him off immediately and assures him that it’s just normal labor pain. A doctor’s voice behind him echoes Leon’s diagnosis, and it takes a few moments for Arthur to realize that it’s Gaius.
He leaves Leon’s side for a moment to hug Gaius, who asks him to step into the hallway for a moment after he’s finished crushing all the air from Arthur’s lungs.
“Congratulations, lad,” he says. “I’ve known that I was going to be marrying the two of you ever since you were five years old.”
“What?” Arthur sputters. “How could you possibly know that?”
Gaius’ smile is gentle. “You spent that entire summer playing house. You stole Morgana’s dolls and argued with each other about how to best support a family on the salaries of – oh, dear, I believe you were going to be an astronaut and a professional football player.” He chuckles and pats Arthur’s shoulder. “You’ve always been together, Arthur, and now you always will be. I’m so proud of you.”
“Merlin told me that he knew for years, too. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Gaius’ eyes are positively twinkling as he says, “Wasn’t it more fun this way?”
Arthur thinks that the hospital room is suitable, but Leon says that he wants to get married somewhere that doesn’t smell of disinfectant. After a quick consultation with the doctor, Arthur is given permission to take Leon in a wheelchair to the hospital’s courtyard.
It’s snowing, so Arthur drapes his coat on Leon’s shoulders and tucks a scarf around his neck. Holding his hands to make sure that they stay warm, Arthur leads Leon to stand under a leafless tree that has been draped with strands of glimmering lights.
It goes too fast, and Leon’s “I do” is temporarily stalled by pain, but not even five minutes later, they’re kissing under those twinkling lights and they’re married.
It’s not until the nurse has cleaned baby Lancelot and is ready to pass him into Leon’s arms that Arthur realizes he’s forgotten the rings. “Wait, wait!” he yells, and Leon’s mouth drops in shock. “What do you mean, wait? I want to hold our son!”
“One second, I promise,” Arthur tells him, fumbling for his coat. The nurse must realize what he’s doing, because he begins to move slightly more slowly. As it is, he and Arthur arrive at Leon’s side at the same time. Leon takes Lance and strokes over his forehead, patting his wispy hair as if trying to make sure he’s real. Arthur gently pulls Leon’s hand away and slips the ring onto his finger.
Lancelot’s hand flies out of his little hospital blanket, and he latches onto Arthur’s pinky.
In that moment, it’s like the world pauses to reorient itself. Arthur is stroking his husband’s wedding band. Leon is holding their baby. Their baby is holding onto Arthur’s finger. From this moment on, their lives are completely entwined in each other. They are a family, a new unit they’ve created just for themselves, and Arthur Pendragon knows that at that moment, he is the happiest man on Earth.
“That was a beautiful wedding, Freya,” Arthur tells Merlin’s wife.
“Yes,” she agrees, her eyes brimming with tears, “but I still can’t believe my baby girl is old enough to be getting married!”
Arthur opens his arms for a hug. “I know, I know,” he says. But I guess we just have to let them go eventually.”
“Dads!”
Arthur and Leon both turn at the same time to see their oldest son and his new bride, Gwen, getting ready to step into the limousine that will take them to the airport to begin their honeymoon.
“I love you!” Lance yells.
“We love you more,” Leon and Arthur yell in unison, a call and response they’ve perfected over the last twenty-five years.
As they watch Lance and Gwen drive away, Leon grabs Arthur’s hand and twines their fingers together. “I still think our wedding was better,” he whispers.
“Of course,” Arthur agrees. “This one had no snow, no hospital gown, no labor pains – ours was far superior.”
“Do you ever feel old?” Leon asks. “I mean, we just watched our baby get married.”
“Not when I’m with you,” Arthur answers truthfully. “I feel like we’re still eighteen, ready to take on the world together.”
Leon’s eyes are bright when he practically growls, “I can’t believe how much I love you,” and pulls Arthur in for a kiss. They get lost in it, Arthur thinking back to their first kiss and how even then it felt like they were just meant to be together.
They kiss until a chorus of “Get it Dad!” and “Ooh, Uncle Leon!” begins around them. When Arthur opens his eyes, he sees three of their children and what appears to be all of their friends’ children standing around them, catcalling gleefully.
“Let’s take this somewhere more private,” Arthur suggests, ignoring his youngest child’s shout of “Gross, Dad!”
“With pleasure,” Leon says, slipping a hand into Arthur’s back pocket and leaning in for another quick kiss. The children screech their disapproval and flee, and Arthur is left alone with his husband.
“Every day I look at you and think that it’s not possible to love you more than I do at that moment. And every day I’m wrong.”
“Arthur,” Leon chokes out. “I love you.”
Arthur continues with him. “I always will.”
The phrase inscribed in Leon’s wedding band, the sentiment that Arthur had agonized over for weeks before settling on it – it has become the keystone statement of their relationship. They haven’t gone a day without saying it for twenty-five years, and it never fails to fill Arthur with a sense of rightness, like everything is as it should be in the world.
Maybe Gaius was right. Maybe he really could see something in those two five-year-old boys playing house that make him think that they would end up together. Maybe their unwillingness to be separated as teenagers had been a sign of a deeper connection. It might have taken a pregnancy to scare Arthur into realizing his feelings, but it doesn’t matter now. The only thing that matters is what’s written in that ring and what they say every night before they go to sleep: “I love you. I always will.”