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The bar was empty except for the man who sat in the back. The dingy low lighting made it hard to recognize him, but Sasuke would know him anywhere. Be it dead, alive,or drunken.
His voice was still as loud as he remembered. Sasuke couldn’t help but think it had been too long since he’d last seen him.
Naruto seemed to be talking to someone.
If the blond was anyone else, he would think The man was crazy, but they’ve known each other long enough for him to recognize Kyuubi’s chakra, which was closer to the surface than normal.
The two were talking about something, but Sasuke’s presence Interrupted their heated conversation.
Like Sasuke - Naruto could sense when the other man was close.
The blond shot a quick look over his shoulder and soon after Sasuke found himself at Naruto’s side. When Sasuke looked down, Naruto flashed him a smile and raised his sake in formal greeting.
The smile was superficial though. Sasuke could see that it did not reach his eyes.
It seemed the news he heard previously was true.
Despite the sudden rush of excitement that flooded him the moment Sakura told him of the blond’s situation; to see the man he called his best friend so upset, It hurt.
That must be why Naruto is here in this shitty bar, drinking even worse liquor.
The news of the Hokage’s divorce shook the shinobi world.
Never before had a ninja in such a dignified position risk doing something so daring. According to Sakura the press had a field day. The accusations against the man were endless. Of course, during most of Naruto’s time as Hokage there had been criticism, especially due to his insistence on pushing through progressive legislation and ending the reign of the old council.
However since the split the media has taken special pleasure in tormenting his best friend and his family. Dragging his name through the mud.
Endless articles were published spouting lies about his marriage and his work. Calling him a liar and a cheat. However he was none of the sort. Naruto doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. Only a fool would believe otherwise. However the world has endless amounts of fools.
The older Sasuke gets, the more It seems like the world has a special thing for kicking this man when he’s down.
But there’s only so much heartbreak a man can take. So Naruto ends up here.
.....
Naruto was more than happy to see his best friend again.The days have become long and lonely after the split, so he needs the company.
Not that he spent much time with his family before; but at times like this Naruto can’t help but remember how much of a comfort it was to have them. Before, He knew in the back of his mind that when he went home he would have a wife and two kids to keep him company.
Now?
Not anymore.
The fear of returning home and greeting an empty house crept up on him with a ferocity that he hasn’t experienced in a long time. The thought of being alone again haunted him.This particular demon was inescapable, like a dark figure in your Peripheral vision. Watching. Waiting to pounce.
Not that he regrets it. He knew that this needed to happen.
Once Himawari became old enough to attend lessons at the academy, Hinata had so much free time. The chasm between them became obvious.
She began going on missions and meetings with her old team regularly. Once more she’s the fierce woman he once knew, the Girl who fought Pain for him. That bravery was something he admired, but he is no longer that kid who fell in love with her.
If he ever truly did.
It had gotten to the point where their marriage was no longer a part of her happiness. Ending it was the most logical thing to do.
He didn’t think He would feel the way he did afterward.
He knew this was the right thing to do. He just hadn’t expected that doing the right thing would hurt so much. It never had before.
It was so easy to do what he thought was right when he was young ...
When it was Sasuke ...
“Honestly kit, you're ridiculous ” ,came the deep timbre of the Ninetailed fox.
Naruto sees Kurama in his head, laid down with his head on his hand, not a care in the world.
Naruto couldn’t help but reply dejectedly,“ you must be having fun in there, front row seat to my demise n’ all...”
“Oh yeah, I just adore watching and listening to your pathetic little show”
“hey! “
“it’s the truth-“
“Shut your mouth before I go in there and shut it for you!” Naruto had a bit of his fire back, Kurama was happy to see that it wasn’t gone forever.
The pout on Naruto's face was almost comical. The pink blush from his excessive drinking made him look younger, if only slightly.
Naruto and the fox’s back and forth was soon interrupted.
Naruto felt a presence behind him and recognized it immediately. Suddenly his body relaxes almost without thought. And Without a sound, his best friend (a title he had given the man himself) appeared next to him. The grumbling of the fox dies down, but not without one final,“ so predictable...”, Arms crossing, and he’s soon falling back asleep in that dusky room.
With a small sigh, Naruto quickly downs the last of his sake and attempts to smile at Sasuke.
“What are you doing here moron “.
same old same old.
“Ha! Is that how you greet your Hokage? Sasuke”. He says with a drunken smile.
Naruto attempted to drink his sake again, only to remember it was empty.
“Damn,” he grumbled, before going to fill his cup again. “I gotta do everything around here”
Sasuke watched as Naruto poured himself another drink. However, the cup never reached the blonds lips. Quickly, Sasuke’s hand shot out, stealing the drink and downing it before Naruto could. A taunting smirk on his face while he did it.
“Ahhhh quick as ever bastard!” Despite the harsh words, Naruto looked fondly at the man.
“If you wanted some you should have just said so! I’m a truly a gracious Kage, nothing too special for my underlings.” He finishes, cheeks still pink.
The smugness in his voice was only slightly overshadowed by his clumsy drunkenness.
Naruto grabs another cup of sake and fills it, but this time he reaches for Sasuke’s hand, planning to hold it- ya know- so he can’t steal his sake from him again.
However, instead he ends grabbing his sleeve. The sleeve that was missing an arm and quickly the blond’s mood sullens.
Sasuke’s missing arm inspires many feelings.
To Sasuke, his missing arm was a reminder of his past and his failure.
For Naruto, it was the same.
The guilt he felt when he saw it, the shame...
Never before had he failed in such a shitty way.
To Naruto, the missing arm was a reminder of his own incompetence. His inability to bring his friend home in one piece, to give Sasuke a life where he could live without feeling shame for his past.
It was his job and his job alone to relieve Sasuke of his guilt, but still, Sasuke left on his journey.
Still, Sasuke refused to fix his arm.
It’s his fault that Sasuke feels the need to redeem himself.
This is the rabbit hole his drunken mind has thrown him into.
“Hokage ? I don’t see a kage anywhere.” Sasuke’s tone is joking, but Naruto sees truth in it anyways.
(you got that right , how could he be Hokage if he couldn’t even save his friend? Didn’t he say that once?)
“ All I see is a drunken idiot” Sasuke finishes, on the verge of smiling.(but he couldn’t ever actually do it, not yet)
It was teasing.
Naruto knew that.
It still hurt.
His hold on Sasuke’s shirt sleeve tightened, and he lets himself lean on the man beside him, surprising Sasuke.
Naruto’s temple hits Sasuke's shoulder. The pink blush on his cheeks remains, reminding Sasuke of how drunk his friend was. Naruto hasn’t been this touchy in a while, at least not with him.
As he pouts, all Naruto could think to say is,
‘bastard...’
Then Naruto was rubbing his cheek against Sasuke’s shirt. For some reason, Naruto felt like he needed to be close to his friend. His inebriated mind told him that this was the easiest way. Don’t think, just push. Like he once did.
Push.
There are no boundaries between them.
(except for the gray cotton blend the other was wearing)
The feel of fabric against his cheek seemed to sober him slightly, and when he thought about what he was doing he blushed darker.
It was completely innocent.
(“ yeah right”,came the deep voice of the fox.)
Naruto blush continued to grow further down his body. It’s become less an effect of the sake and more of a result of his own wandering thoughts.
...
Sasuke found himself in quite an awkward position. He is inclined to push the blond off of him. The man was currently rubbing his face against him like a cat, it’s quite adorable.
Sasuke couldn’t really complain, but he knew he should.
The blond might be embarrassed once he sobers up, so Sasuke finally speaks.
“What a sight this would make. Naruto Uzumaki- drunk and turning to a famous ex missing nin for comfort.”
Naruto Doesn’t stop.
“ Naruto..”
Naruto looks up at him, and Naruto can’t help but throw a meek little smile at his friend.
Naruto can’t help but remember how Sasuke’s always had a way of pulling him out of funks. All it takes is a look.
Sasuke has grown used to Naruto’s overbearing affection and touching.
This is just another part of him, like the Ninetails, or his love for ramen.
He can’t change it, so fighting it has always been just another battle he would lose.
This is one brief moment, a true rarity, where Sasuke allows himself to relish in the way his friend makes him feel.
Soft. Loved. Like every part of him: his heart, his soul, and so much more-is smiling. It’s been such a long time since he's had this, him, that it aches.
Right to his core.
“I think it’s time for you to go home, Naruto” he says, because he has too.
The two of them never get the chance to be like this. Sasuke almost doesn’t want to break this-
But the threat of wandering eyes is too dangerous to risk.
Sasuke couldn’t bear to be another reason for Naruto’s stress.
Sasuke lifts the larger man up by his bicep, and surprisingly he comes easy.
“Oh sure ...”
Naruto seems like he has more to say but the rest of Naruto’s words stay in his mouth.
There’s always more that needs to be said.
The two walk out of the bar.
A blond head finds permanent residence on a strong shoulder. Sasuke’s arm makes its way around his waist. They both can’t help but think this seems so natural.
The raven leads Naruto down alleys, avoiding the busy streets of the market. The shouts of street venders nearby keep Sasuke from getting too comfortable with the other man in his arms.
There is a festival for some minor god tonight, maybe that’s why the bar was so empty.
Above them fireworks go off in a flurry of bright colors, one after another.
Sasuke leads them, and soon the two end up in-front of the Hokage ’s residence.
“Sasuke ...”
Naruto has his eyes closed tight, eyebrows pinching. His head is still on Sasuke’s shoulder, but now he’s turned so he’s holding Sasuke as well as being held. It’s hard for Naruto to get the words out.
“ I no longer live here... I left the residence to Hinata and the kids.”
Sasuke saw pain on his face before Naruto quickly hid it by turning more into his shoulders.
“I couldn’t kick them out” It’s muffled and his breath is coming quicker with every word.
“How could I... those kids were raised there. I have no right to take it from them. I couldn’t ruin that. I can’t “, a quiet sob follows.
If Sasuke feels a wetness on his shirt, he doesn’t mention it.
“ I can’t, . I’ve already ruined everything ya know, I’ve already done it. It’s all my fault ...”
The drunken man continues to cry on Sasuke’s shoulder, Clutching his friend's shirt tighter and Sasuke fully returns his hug.
Sasuke doubts they'll be able to finish the walk to wherever Naruto spends his nights, so he ends up quickly Teleporting them to his own apartment on the other side of town, landing by the front door. It uses up a lot of Chakra, but it’s worth it. He knows how embarrassed Naruto would be if anyone ended up seeing… whatever that was.
Behind them the festival rages on. This time a lone fire work explodes into the sky. Bright and green, tinting their backs as Sasuke opens the door and leads the blond in.
Both men end up on the scarcely used couch. Naruto’s head lifts off Sasuke's shoulders to rest on the cushions. The tears are gone now.
Sasuke believes it's best to leave his friend alone for the moment, so he decides to get Naruto some water and a snack in the kitchen.
He could do with some food to sober him up.
Naruto, however, has another idea entirely.
It seems that all that crying Naruto had done left him feeling a bit too sober for his liking.
The click- the delightful haze he had been going for- was far off by now.
He was on a mission for more booze.
By the time Sasuke returns to the living room the blond is long gone.
Before he can spend too much time looking for the blond, the sound of a cabinet door closing draws his attention to the dining room.
But before he can move to check what it was, Naruto comes sauntering out, bottle of whiskey in hand. A self-satisfied smile on his face.
He shakes the bottle, as if to bring it to Sasuke’s attention.
“Thanks, I needed this,” he says, then walks past him into the kitchen.
“yeah, like you need a hole in the head!” Sasuke tries to reason with him, but he doesn’t listen.
Sasuke, surprised by Naruto’s behavior, follows him quickly.
“It’s fine.” Naruto waves and shakes his head, whispering an insult that Sasuke doesn’t quite catch.
Just a minute ago this man was soaking him with tears, barely able to walk. Now he’s acting like Tsunade after a long day of work.
But His sobriety is an act, Sasuke’s quick enough to see Naruto walk straight into the countertop, hitting his hip, as he walks up to the storage cabinets.
Fine my ass.
Two glasses make their way onto the counter top and two generous shots of whiskey are poured.
“ One for me-“Naruto says, pausing to quickly downing it before Sasuke can reach and try to take it away.
“-and one for you!”
There’s a smile on his face when he turns to Sasuke, too preppy to be real.
Naruto really is such a shitty liar.
Sasuke takes the cup before he can change his mind and decides to take both drinks like a fool.
“ Gonna need this if I’m putting up with you all night”
Which is true, he thought, so Sasuke takes his shot then.
The burn felt nice.
Things were getting too cozy and pleasant with Naruto here.
He needs to remind himself that he can’t get too comfortable. Who knows what this number one knucklehead ninja can do when he’s had more than a few drinks.
“ We gotta keep things balanced right, bastard” he takes another shot.
His words weren’t as slurred as before, so to Naruto that’s more than enough indication that he needs to keep going. Maybe if he taunts Sasuke a bit he’ll join him on his escapades of drunkenness.
“Idiot, you started drinking long before I did, if anything you need to slow down”
Sasuke thinks Naruto is gonna regret mixing drinks tomorrow morning.( there’s a lot of things he’s gonna be thinking about tomorrow morning).
“ hmm..” Naruto makes a contemplative face, then turns to Sasuke with a smirk.
“ maybe so,” he decides on,
“ but I bet I can still drink more than you.” Naruto tries this.
It’s a simple fact, Sasuke knows that the kyuubi keeps him from getting wasted normally ( where the fuck is that fox now?).
He knows that it’s bait, but Naruto’s always had him hook, line, and sinker. He takes it.
“Bet you can’t” it’s a childish response.
He says it anyways. There’s no harm in friends drinking together in the privacy of his own home, right?
The truth is, he needs this just as much as the blond. He Needs him. Needs them. Together.
It’s been too long since they’ve had any time alone together. Surely Naruto would be elated at the chance to catch up.
And Sasuke really needs a drink.
Like Naruto, these past few years have been rough for him. First the whirlwind of having a kid, the guilt of that night. Eventually marrying a woman he didn’t love ( not the way she wanted) then very soon a messy divorce.
The past year had been uneventful. He mostly spent his time in run down villages and fishing towns, doing this and that, but he felt the disappointment of the people he loved most harshly when he was left on his own.
His life is the result of his own choices, he knows this, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have regrets.
This thought weighs heavily on him. His regret.
He found another shot in his hand.
In the back of his mind he regrets leaving.
“ Bottoms up, Sasuke!”
It’s the first time Naruto says his name all night, and he relishes it. The sound of his own name painted with naruto’s voice, it’s so beautiful its almost erotic to hear.
He regrets not telling naruto that he loved him.
“Bottoms up, idiot.” But he’s the idiot.
They both down a shot together. It burns so good now.
(The shot, he means. Not anything else.)
He regrets what he did with Sakura on Naruto's wedding night.
Bottoms up, he thinks pouring and taking another shot.
He regrets, he regrets, he regrets.
Both him and Naruto regret until the bottle on the counter is empty.
When he looks over at Naruto-
(Naruto - the man he loves, The man, not the woman)
Sasuke wonders if he can call him his lover. Only in his head of course.
Lover implies intimacy on both parts.
And in the deepest corners of his brain he’s imagined them so vividly.
Up there, they are so much more than lovers. So much closer. So maybe, he thinks, it cancels out.
Maybe the absolutely infectious overtaking Naruto has on his heart and his soul balances out all the depressing nothingness that exists between them in real life.
In his head they are lovers, and maybe if he can pretend it there, the fact that they aren't won’t keep destroying him in the real world.
He sees that the man can barely hold his drink straight. Naruto’s so blissed out that he can't focus on anything.
When he touches the blond suddenly he jumps.
“Naruto , are you alright?”
“I’m fine”, it’s a whisper.
There is this gentle bubble around them that neither wants to break. Naruto does anyways.
“ Sasuke?” he asks, the ‘k’ is dragging out. Naruto makes a face like he’s thinking .
“What was it like? Getting divorced? I know that it’s been a while since then, but maybe you could tell me...
“Is this how I’m supposed to feel?”
“How do you feel?”
“I feel...”
Naruto closes his eyes. It’s easier to talk like this in the dark.
“I feel sad “
“Sad”
“and alone”
“alone,”
“...are you just gonna repeat what I say, bastard?”
“ Maybe” Sasuke says it like it’s supposed to be a wise saying.
“I feel like, Maybe I should be sadder. That’s what’s throwing me. I jus ’ g’t divorced and…” he pauses to burp loudly “.... I don’t care...
I care about waking up alone, I care about my kids, but ...“
“But?”
He finally opens his eyes and looks at Sasuke in his.
“ I care more about not caring, than I actually care .”
“That Doesn’t make any sense,” Sasuke replies, adding idiot at the end for good measure.
“YES IT DOES!”
“No it Doesn’t ”Sasuke says with a small smile.
“ Sasuke! What if there’s something wrong with me! “
“there isn’t”
“.. I’m heartless Sasuke, I dedicated 12 years of my life to that woman and I can’t even have the decency to feel guilty about ending things.”
Sasuke kept his mouth shut
“I don’t even miss her....”
“...”
“ I feel like I’ve spent my life missing things... missing people ... it should be easy now. But it’s so hard.
I must be cruel, Or evil .”
Sasuke stood up abruptly and shoved Naruto in his seat.
“ Shut up!” He finally shouted..
“Hey! Bastard I wasn’ even don’t yet!” Naruto stood and shoved back.
Sasuke was close to him now- pushing him - For some reason trying to tip the blonde annoyance level well over its limit.
“What do you -!” Sasuke started , But suddenly the drink in Naruto’s hand was all over his orange shirt.
Like water putting out a fire, the heated argument was over. The dark haired man couldn’t help but let out a quite laugh at his lov-
-his friends expense.
Suddenly Sasuke smiled again.
“Some things never change, huh Naruto”
He only got some grumbling as a reply.
The blond turned back to the liquor, but Sasuke reached out his hand, stopping him.
“Naruto I think we’ve had enough tonight.”
“What are you talking about, bastard? Giving up so soon?”
Now his smile was back. Almost like he knew that that was all it took to bring Sasuke to his knees.
But now was not the time for giving in.
Sasuke reaches for the cup but Naruto puts it behind his back. The smile soon became a smirk.
“come get it”
And he did.
Go for the cup, that is.
He moved towards where Naruto was- the kitchen island- and they played a game of cat and mouse.
Now Sasuke is the cat, swatting his paw at the toy in front of him.
They dance around a bit.
For the first time that night the blond lets out an infectious laugh while the two continue to circle around the kitchen.
Naruto is moving here and there in an attempt to dodge Sasuke’s attacks. Unlike when fighting, Sasuke’s missing hand was a real Handicap. It was all to easy to spin away from him when he only had one hand. If he was reaching for the cup , there was no way to trap his friend.
Unless -
“Aha!” Sasuke shouts, feeling proud.
He had Naruto trapped against the counter and the fridge. On one side of Naruto was the cool metal of the fridge, on his back the granite countertop digging into him, on his left Sasuke’s arm-the one still attached ( It was strong, Naruto doesn't think he could make a break for it ( not that he wanted to.)) — and in front of him was Sasuke.
Their chests were pressed together, breath mingling. They were surprisingly tired it seemed, that must be why Sasuke was so short of breath.
They were much closer than Sasuke had planned, but he was scared that if he let up even one inch, Naruto would run off again.
( and he so so loved having him here, exactly where he wants him)
He looks down at Naruto's hand holding the cup, and slowly moves his hand from the counter by his hip to the glass. Their fingers touch as he removes it finally.
Their faces are so close and Sasuke wishes he could look into his eyes, but he can’t look up, he couldn’t stomach it. He feels Naruto staring at him. Observing him.
Despite the lack of movement they are still short of breath..
The glass is gone, so Sasuke knows he really has no reason to be this close, but he’s scared of losing this. The feel of Naruto’s breath on his cheek. The press of their thighs together, and the sound of their breathing, all forming one harmonious moment in time.
And then it’s broken when Sasuke walks away hastily, bumping into the counter on his way out.
Like a puppy Naruto follows.
“Sasuke -“ He says quietly so he isn’t heard.
Sasuke walks out of the kitchen and begins walking through the house. He begins to open up doors, one of which is a closet, he reaches in and takes out a pillow and a spare blanket.
He then walks to the door across from it and opens it to reveal a guest bedroom.
“I guess I’ll be staying here tonight”, Naruto’s voice is a cool bucket of water poured straight over Sasuke.
It’s not really a question.
Damn it, Sasuke thinks, why the Fuck did I do that- whatever that was in the kitchen.
Naruto enters the room and is searching the drawers, presumably looking for clothes. He intentionally ignores Sasuke who is standing at the door. He is impossible to miss. He always has been.
His shadow creeps into the room, the light from the hallway is bright. Naruto didn’t turn on any of the bedside lamps so it’s difficult for him to find anything. However he can’t turn around, he can’t stop, he can’t look at Sasuke. He feels in his soul that if he looks at him again he is going to do......something.
So he forgoes the change in clothes, and he just starts trying to take off his sticky shirt.
It’s not like he can sleep with it on. Right?
He’s trying to unbutton, but he's so drunk that his fingers keep missing the tiny buttons. He tries this a couple of times, getting heated and more heated with every failed attempt.
It’s getting embarrassing, so Sasuke steps inside and walks up to him. When he puts his hand on Naruto’s shoulder he freezes quite dramatically.
He slowly turns Naruto around and with much drunken focus he begins to help unbutton his friend's shirt for him.
Once again the two are face to face. However the situation is much more... charged ...in here.
Both can feel it.
It’s obvious that Sasuke takes more time than needed to help his friend. But it’s not his fault that with each button his knuckles skim the muscles under the thin material of Naruto’s shirt.
It really isn’t his fault if once or twice his fingers stop to slip between the buttons and under fabric as he gets lower. Caressing gently.
It ’s not like he’s trying to feel the other mans golden skin just once more while he still has the chance.
If at any point it feels like he desperately aches for more, it’s simply the blonds imagination.
Because this is Sasuke, and he’s no masochist.
Sasuke’s fingers run along the edges of Naurto’s mostly unbuttoned shirt, leading down to the final button before curling delicately around it. Naruto’s breath hitches, and he looks down as Sasuke slowly-savoring this- brushes his knuckle against the soft skin above Naruto’s waistband and against the tempting lines of his hips.
His fingers tug at the button and softly the fabric is free but Naruto’s face is flushed and his ears are ringing.
Suddenly Naruto can’t breath, he can’t think.
All he wants to do, all he can think about is something he’s tried very hard to push away. But it’s so hard! Sasuke makes him so -
And suddenly Sasuke’s leaving. He has too-
-and Naruto still can’t focus or reach out.
He’s still so drunk, and Sasuke makes him feel so many things without even trying.
He just stands there and lets the orange shirt slide off his shoulders into the floor.
Sasuke had to turn around, he knows that he needs to leave now.
Naruto never makes things easy for him though. He hears the loud clashing of the springs inside the guest bed and the whine of the blond as he hits the mattress.
And just as he was about to leave, his hand on the doorway, he hears Naruto call to him.
‘Sasuke....’
And since he’s so so weak for him,he stops.
He should have Moved through the door and closed it to let his idiot sleep.
He can’t though, because he promised Naruto that he would never leave him again, he would never make Naruto chase him.
( and he knows that the context was different then, but he desperately needs a reason to justify this so it isn’t just his selfishness.)
‘ Sasuke ... please...’
He’s still isn’t looking, but Naruto sounds like a siren, so he turns, and he regrets it because that man is his everything.
He’s so beautiful, and he’s shirtless, and he’s leaning back on the bed with his one hand propping him up. He is everything that Sasuke’s ever wanted and more. His voice turned him around and now that filthy look in his eyes is what breaks Sasuke finally.
Naruto is maelstrom-a force of nature, and Sasuke wants to drown in it so bad. It wants to drown him just as bad.