Archive of Our Own

It’s not that he hated it. He doesn’t. He doesn’t judge people who feel the need to pour their hearts out; who are brave enough to vocalize internal trauma, who cry in front of their doctor because there’s no one else to cry to.

But he doesn’t need therapy, is his problem. Traumatic things happen to most everyone. He compartmentalizes, and that’s good, he thinks. And everything that happened, happened twenty years ago. He’d had time to cry and readjust to losing his family. He’d had relatives who took him in and loved him despite his social regression and inability to speak more than five words at a time. He’d been six, for crying out loud!

His aunt and uncle were patient. They took him out of school after the funeral, and maybe that was partially because one of those private school shithead little kids made a smart comment about his parents and brother ending up like the bug he’d squished on the playground, and maybe Sasuke sending that kid to the hospital with a broken arm had something to do with it. Regardless, it had helped.

And he was smart. He could afford forgoing the first and second grade without having to catch up to the kids in the third. And by then, with two years of being coddled and supervised and hand-held, he’d adjusted.

It took him just shy of 730 days. Every night wishing his family would walk through the door, even after seeing them lowered into the ground took a little bit out of him each day. But then, after those days had passed, knowing that his parents and brother weren’t going to magically pop up at aunt Uruchi’s door to say “Hey, Sasuke! Don’t worry. We weren’t actually killed in that plane. We weren’t seriously gonna leave you all by yourself,” gave him a real reality check.

Sasuke had gotten his shit together after those two years. He could even say he’d grown up more so then than he had as he breached into adulthood. He finished school as the valedictorian, graduated Cum laude at his university, got his master’s in anatomy, got into medical school, and now he was a resident at one of the best hospitals in America.

And yet, he found himself sitting in the waiting room of some shit therapy office, listening to game shows on the dinky, little flat screen mounted to the wall, drumming his fingers against his knees, sitting upright and tense in a plushy seat that was far too comfortable for his liking, and staring at the man across from him—the only other human being in the waiting area. The man was scratching off what looked like beat up lottery tickets.

This is why he didn’t like having friends. Friends were hard work and required talking and getting to know one another. And the one person he’d chosen to allow that title since he was six fucking years old was the headstrong resident doctor who had a shitty knack for picking up when car and plane accident victims in the ER gave Sasuke the willies.

“Holy shit!” the man across from Sasuke held up his lottery ticket, dusty and scratched off. He looked up with very blue eyes and beamed a smile at Sasuke that was nearly blinding. “I just won twenty dollars!” He said.

Sasuke’s eye twitched. His mouth curled down in distaste. What the hell was this guy telling him for? He had to wonder.

The man’s grin faltered a bit, but he didn’t look completely put off. Just curious now, which was just fucking great.

He was still holding the ticket up, head tilted to the side, when he spoke again, “I’m Naruto, by the way.” He put the ticket down, shifted and angled himself awkwardly in the chair, then slid the ticket into one of the back pockets of his old, tight-fitting jeans.

Sasuke didn’t bother offering up a name in return, even if Naruto was looking at him like that was expected. Whatever. Sasuke just wanted to get his session over with. It smelled like pines and honey and earthy mists and it was making him feel queasy.

Obviously, life wasn’t that easy. And despite being left with a hefty sum of money from his parents that got him through school, having loving relatives that took him in, being smart enough to show off in school and to fake bedside manners when he had to deliver the news that someone had three months left before the cancer got to them... Sasuke’s life was never really that easy.

That man, that... Naruto... got up when Sasuke didn’t reply. And he’d had the foolish idea that maybe Naruto would just leave the waiting area, or go get coffee at the machine that looked fairly used and had dried sugar decorating it, but he wasn’t so lucky. Naruto stepped across the room and plopped down into the seat next to Sasuke. He spread his legs casually and leaned back like he was at home. One knee had come dangerously close to touching Sasuke’s, so Sasuke moved his out of reflex, squeezing himself tight as he shifted as far away as the chair allowed him.

Naruto spoke up just as he’d gotten comfortable, “You’re not deaf, are you? ‘Cause Kakashi knows sign, so I wouldn’t be surprised. But if I’m talking for no reason, just let me know.”

He was talking for no reason, but there wasn’t much point in saying that. So, Sasuke just played along.

He knew sign language well enough.

Sasuke turned his head to look at Naruto, who was looking at him eagerly and wide eyed.

And, not that it mattered, because two minutes of talking to Naruto—or Naruto talking at him—let Sasuke know that the guy was a complete moron, but it couldn’t go unnoticed that he was a relatively attractive moron. He had a strong jawline and nice build. His arms were lined with muscles from what Sasuke could see through the dark orange—and frankly, hideous—snug, T-shirt. His hair was a nice, vibrant blonde that was definitely natural. He had oddly symmetrical scars on both his cheeks. And those old, worn pants of his fit really goddamn well.

But, regardless, he was a moron. So, instead of answering verbally, Sasuke put a finger to his ear and sloped it to his mouth with a shrug and a frown. ‘I’m deaf,’ he signed.

Naruto’s eyes widened even further, sort of comically, and then he was grinning again. His hands flew up an instant later, signing back, ‘Sorry! I didn’t know. I said, I’m N-A-R-U-T-O.’

Sasuke closed his eyes and groaned, rubbing at his eyebrow. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Sasuke said. Of course, the idiot knows sign language. What are the odds?

Naruto shifted back and frowned. He started signing again, but Sasuke cut him off.

“I’m not deaf,” he said.

Naruto scrunched his nose and dropped his hands, “Then why’d you say you were?” He sounded genuinely bewildered.

“Because, clearly, I don’t have any interest in talking to you. Now could you just,” he motioned toward the seat across from him, “leave me alone.”

Naruto glared, “If you didn’t wanna talk, you didn’t have to lie, asshole.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that I don’t want to talk. You could’ve taken a hint.”

“I thought you were deaf. I was just checking.”

“Next time, maybe you shouldn’t.”

“What’s your problem, anyway? I was making conversation,” Naruto crossed his arms and cocked his head so indignant that it really drove a nail through Sasuke’s nerves.

Sasuke clenched his teeth before he said, “Currently? It’s the dumbass sitting next to me when I’ve made it clear that I want him to disappear.”

Naruto scoffed, “You’re a dick, you know that?”

“Fuck you,” was Sasuke’s final retort. He pulled out his phone, ignoring the way Naruto gasped and grumbled at the contemptuous remark. He scrolled along his email, waiting to hear Naruto get up. And honestly, where was his therapist? It’s been ten minutes and the light in the office—where Sasuke had assumed the session would take place—was notably off. He also wasn’t quite sure why Naruto was even here. This wasn’t a group session, was it?

Well, two people didn’t really make a group, but still... His session was booked until six that morning and if Naruto’s was after his, there was no reason for the idiot to be there this early.

Also, Naruto hadn’t made a move, and that was just ticking Sasuke off even more.

“Is there a problem with your legs?” Sasuke said, not bothering to look up from his phone.

“I’m comfortable. Go fuck yourself, pal,” Naruto shot back.

Sasuke slapped his phone down in his lap and looked up to glare at Naruto, and Naruto was glaring right back. His arms were still crossed, defiant.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed hard enough for it to border on childish, but whatever. He wanted the moron to move and he wasn’t moving. His therapist was late and he still couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t the only one waiting on this highly acclaimed, illustrious fucking Dr. Hatake. And now he was pissed because Naruto’s eyebrow was raised in a challenge and Sasuke never lost to anyone.

“I’m not moving,” Naruto said, lips curling into something mischievous.

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed even further. He scowled and gripped his phone too tight in his hand. “You’re an idiot,” he couldn’t think of much else to say.

“You’re a bastard,” Naruto said with a light shrug. Then added, “And an asshole,”

“This is my appointment time. Why are you even here?” Sasuke asked next, anger still brimming right beneath the surface of every word.

“Well that,” Naruto lifted a hand to point at Sasuke, “is none of your business, is it, Mr. Prick?”

“I’m a doctor,” and he had no idea why that came out, but he’d said it, so there was no way to rewind and come up with a better comeback. And now Naruto was laughing.

“Oh, great. Dr. Prick it is!” Naruto said through his bellowing laughter that was really annoying because it was husky and deep and Sasuke liked those things and Naruto was ruining them. “Do you do those penis-growth-enlargement procedures too? ‘Cause that would be amazing.” He was still laughing and Sasuke was turning red.

“You’re not funny,” Sasuke said with a dry bit of condescension that did nothing to stop Naruto’s mirth.

“I’m hilarious! I’m probably the funniest guy you know,” Naruto boasted, hugging in on himself like what he was saying was the only truth that mattered.

Sasuke finally righted himself, despite the ridicule, smirked and said, “Hilarious?” Sasuke nodded. “To me you’re just some worthless, asshole who doesn’t have any friends. Is that why you’re so eager to talk to me? It’s pathetic.”

Naruto’s laughter finally stopped. His face scrunched like he’d been splashed with cold water. “I have friends,” he grumbled.

“None that last, I’m sure,” Sasuke said, because he’d hit a sore spot and now he was twisting the knife. “They leave you behind once they found out what a fucking moron you are?”

Naruto didn’t say anything to that, and Sasuke would not feel guilty about it. Naruto was just laughing at him not even a minute ago. So what if Sasuke had touched a nerve? Naruto deserved it.

“Asshole,” Naruto finally said in a low retreat. He didn’t get up, though. He just sunk further in the chair and glared at the opposite wall.

The door to the street opened just before Sasuke had time to contemplate the moral implications of possibly triggering someone who might be a patient, just like he is, and why guilt was a nonsensical feeling when Naruto had just laughed in Sasuke’s face while calling him Dr. Prick, like that was even close to funny. A tall, older man walked in. He had a deep scar over one eye and silver hair that was probably dyed to be so evenly distributed. He was older, but not that old. He was wearing a smart, comfortable looking sweater and slacks. This must be Dr. Hatake.

“Sorry I’m late,” were the doctor’s first words. “My train ran late. You know how that is.” He didn’t. Sasuke didn’t care what people said about driving in the city. He refused to take public transit.

Sasuke ignored the excuse and immediately pushed himself up, just to distance himself a little from the sulking blonde. Dr. Hatake’s eyes slid over to him.

“Dr. Uchiha, right? Or can I call you Sasuke? I prefer a first-name basis,” Dr. Hatake said, holding a hand out for Sasuke to shake.

“Whatever’s fine,” Sasuke said, using his professional voice. His doctor voice. He shoved his phone in his pocket and clasped Dr. Hatake’s hand with a firm shake, then quickly let go.

Dr. Hatake smiled, “Call me Kakashi,” he said. He looked to Naruto next, still sulking like a kicked puppy and Jesus Christ, was what Sasuke said even that bad?

But then Sasuke remembered that bug comment all those years ago about his family and thought maybe it was. Maybe.

“Naruto? What are you doing here? Did you forget something this morning?” Kakashi asked.

Naruto sprung up in an instant, scratching the back his head and looking suddenly revitalized. “I think I left my wallet in your office,” Naruto said with a crooked smile, like this wasn’t the first time.

And, apparently, it wasn’t. Kakashi scoffed out a laugh, good-naturedly, and shook his head, “One day, you’ll leave an arm or a leg here, won’t you?” Kakashi said, then walked over to unlock his office door. “You can both come in,” he said as he pushed his way inside.

Sasuke just waited until Naruto went in, standing outside the office and listening to the contestant on the television scream after winning the 10,000 dollar prize.

Naruto was in the office speaking in a low voice. “Thank God,” he said with a relieved groan. “I thought I’d dropped it on the street, or something.”

“You should probably figure out how to keep things from falling out of your pockets,” Kakashi said.

“I know, I know,” Naruto amended. It was all very dull.

Sasuke looked back over to where they had been seated and wasn’t too surprised to see Naruto’s lottery ticket on one of the cushions. Like some type of stupid joke.

Sasuke bent over to grab it just as Naruto was walking out of the office.

“Hey, idiot,” Sasuke said and Naruto’s face contorted back into the sulky, bitchy mess of a scowl he’d had on after Sasuke had made that comment about his friends. He ignored the look. “Here,” he said, holding out the ticket.

Naruto looked down and the emotions on his face shifted again. This time to something between relief and apprehension. The guy was like an open book. After a delayed few seconds of staring, Naruto snatched the ticket away and stormed out. “Thanks, asshole,” he said on his way.

Kakashi was standing at the entrance to his office when Sasuke looked back. “Ready?” He asked, like he hadn’t just seen that tense exchange.

Sasuke nodded, though he was far from ready for whatever the hell this session would entail. He followed Kakashi into the office and let him close the door behind him.

Therapy wasn’t awful. Sasuke could give it that.

Kakashi started by asking Sasuke why he thought he was there. Which was not at all what the therapy videos Sasuke had seen before coming started with. The therapist usually asked how their patient was feeling. And despite the bit of anger he felt after encountering Naruto, Sasuke didn’t feel much, so he was glad the question never came up.

“My coworker told me I should come,” was his answer, because he couldn’t quite wrap his mouth around the word ‘friend.’

“But you didn’t have to come, right?” Kakashi said next, and Sasuke bristled.

“I shouldn’t operate on patients if my hands are shaking,” Sasuke said. He had steady hands, the best kind for digging deep without severing an artery. Shaky hands could kill someone. Kakashi seemed to understand that.

“Do you know why your hands shake?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke didn’t answer. His lips thinned while he remembered being at his aunt’s house, watching her fall to the floor, wailing while two police officers looked at Sasuke with so much pity that it hurt. How one of them helped aunt Uruchi up on the couch while she damn near hyperventilated knowing her oldest nephew and sister had been killed on impact. How they’d found his father, Fugaku, alive just moments before his heart gave out from losing too much blood. Kakashi didn’t press it.

The session continued like that. Kakashi asked questions and Sasuke answered when his mind didn’t take him someplace too dark to come back without hurting himself. He didn’t know if Kakashi had learned much from him, because he’d shied away from the questions that felt important, but by the end of the session Sasuke felt a little bit different.

He felt exposed and open, which didn’t feel amazing. It was like he’d buried something deep and had kept it there for twenty years, and now Kakashi had a shovel, ready to dig until it was there for everyone to see. He hated the feeling, actually, but when Kakashi had asked if he wanted to book another session, he did.

Sasuke went to the sessions bi-weekly on Sundays. That was his off day, unless the hospital paged him. He went early, because he was an early riser, despite not being a morning person. Most days, the waiting room was empty, and he’d sit on his phone until Kakashi came in anywhere from ten to thirty minutes late with an apology and a sorry excuse. The man was always late, and Sasuke refused to believe it was because Kakashi was attacked by a street cat.

Sometimes Naruto would be there.

He’d purposefully sit beside Sasuke with a coffee or a magazine. Most times, all he’d do is salute and say, “Morning, Dr. Prick,” before going back to doing whatever the hell he was doing. Today was a crossword puzzle in the newspaper.

And who in the hell even carries around a newspaper anymore?

“I like the crosswords and the funnies. It’s called a hobby, Dr. Prick. You should find one,” Naruto said and Sasuke hadn’t even realized he’d asked that question out loud.

“I have hobbies,” Sasuke grumbled, because he wasn’t in the mood. Three months of therapy and he was more on edge with each session. Kakashi was going deeper and it fucking sucked.

“What hobbies? Jerking off to pictures of dead animals?” Naruto snorted out a laugh at his own joke. And it came out even harder when he looked up to see the sheer shock and disgust on Sasuke’s face.

“You’re deplorable,” Sasuke said through a resounding sigh.

Naruto just snorted again and chuckled before filling in a letter in his stupid crossword.

Sasuke peeked down at it, then rolled his eyes, “It’s deliver, idiot.”

Naruto’s eyes widened. He seemed to ignore the insult altogether. He pointed down at the word he was beginning to add. “It’s transport.”

Sasuke leaned over, maybe closer than he should to someone he’s been actively hating for three months, and read out the clue, “Hand one over in order to set him free.” He looked up at Naruto. “It’s deliver.”

“No,” Naruto rolled his eyes. “It’s transport.”

Sasuke scoffed, “You’re a moron. It’s definitely deliver. Transport doesn’t even fit there.”

“It’s not! That one is...” Naruto read through the clues again. A few seconds later he wrangled a hand through his messy hair and shrugged. “Okay, then where’s transport supposed to go?”

Sasuke looked again. And when he found it, he pointed at the other end of the crossword, “Here. Conveyance by trains one left at sea.”

Naruto blinked, bit his lip, then huffed out a laugh. “Okay, okay. Whatever. Maybe,” he scribbled out the beginning of the word and replaced it with a sloppily written ‘deliver.’ He put in transport next, then snapped his fingers, “Ah! Okay, this one’s furnish.”

Sasuke leaned back in his own seat and shook his head, “Why do a crossword if you suck at it?”

“I don’t suck at it,” Naruto said simply, not looking up and sounding completely unbothered.

“Yeah, you do,” Sasuke teased. He wasn’t sure why he was teasing Naruto and not simply ignoring him now. He didn’t want to think about it.

“Whatever, Sasuke,” Naruto said, distracted. Sasuke was still for a moment, thinking that was the first time Naruto had ever used his name.

He didn’t speak on it. Kakashi walked in a minute later. Naruto had forgotten his phone there, and had gone into the office and come out with his newspaper under his arm and a salute to Sasuke as he walked out.

“So, how’s it going with Dr. Hatake?” Sakura said as they settled together at the hospital cafeteria. It wasn’t lavish, but it was nice. The food was decent too, not like the puddings and cold cut sandwiches they gave to overnight patients.

Sasuke idly poked at his salad and shrugged, “It’s fine.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, but didn’t ask for any more details. She understood doctor-patient confidentiality, even if he wasn’t the doctor in this scenario. Besides, the fact that he was still going was likely enough for her to know that he wasn’t lying.

When Sakura spoke again, she changed the subject. “Wanna meet my friends?” She was finishing up with peeling an orange and had popped a slice in her mouth while she waited for a response.

Sasuke shook his head, “Not really. No.”

Sakura laughed, and she always did whenever Sasuke said something stoic and unfriendly. It was weird, but maybe why he’d let her stick around and eat lunch with him whenever they had a shift together. He’d even gone to see a movie with her once. She didn’t flirt or even ask if he was gay, which was nice. Maybe she’d caught on, or he wasn’t her type. Whatever the case, she was an easy friend to have.

She also wasn’t put off when he simply didn’t want to talk or would answer her with a grunt rather than actual words.

“It’s good to have people in your corner,” she said.

“I have you,” Sasuke shrugged.

“Well, that’s sweet, but not at all the point,” she said and he tended to disagree. “I’m not gonna push it, but it might be nice.”

“Maybe,” was all he could say to that.

Sakura chuckled and shook her head. “Just think about it, okay?”

“Hn,” he gave her a short nod. She seemed appeased by that alone.

And then their pagers went off. They abandoned their food in a nearby trash and jogged off to tend to two teens who’d survived a four-car collision. The driver didn’t make it.

Others from the accident were carted off to separate operating rooms. Sakura was by his side during his case, and that helped.

The 17-year-old girl from the accident had to have her arm amputated and the 6-year-old got off with a broken leg and three fractured ribs.

Sasuke only puked once after the procedure, but his hands didn’t shake. It was never the blood or gore that did it for him. But he was getting better. He counted it as a win. Though, it was bittersweet.

A day after that procedure, and having to tell the kids’ grandparents that their son didn’t make it, that their granddaughter would need physical therapy and to learn how to live with one less appendage, but that their youngest grandchild would be relatively okay, Sasuke found his way back to Kakashi’s office, sitting across from the older man and staring blankly at the wall behind him.

There was a painting of a dog held up on some overly joyous man’s back. It was incredibly stupid.

Naruto wasn’t there that morning, and the fact that Sasuke not only noticed, but felt disappointed, bothered him to no end.

“You look down today,” was the first thing Kakashi said.

“I’m fine,” he wasn’t. He was far from it. Kakashi didn’t call him out on it, but he pressed like he knew what Sasuke said wasn’t true.

“Did you have a rough morning?” he asked.

“No,” Sasuke answered, short and a bit tight lipped.

“How’s work?”

Sasuke didn’t answer. Kakashi nodded like he had.

“Last time you told me your parents and older brother passed away when you were six,” Kakashi said. It wasn’t a question, but Sasuke nodded along anyway. “You never told me how. Or what you experienced then.”

Sasuke shrugged, but didn’t answer.

Therapy was getting hard. They’d exhausted talking about Sasuke’s work stress, how he didn’t feel comfortable making friends, how he didn’t like seeing the way kids looked when they found out their parent wouldn’t make it off the operating table. And even admitting that had taken too much out of him. He hadn’t spoken the rest of that particular session, and they’d stayed in silence for twenty minutes until it was time for Sasuke to leave.

But now, Kakashi was already deep in the hole. His shovel was nicking at everything that was buried. Sasuke felt it, like it was crawling right out of his skin.

When it seemed like this session was barreling down that same path; that he’d end up forcing something out and then closing up. Sasuke willed himself to admit, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kakashi nodded, “Let’s change the subject then. You said you have a friend. The coworker who suggested you come see me.”

He’d never admitted out loud that Sakura was his friend, but he guessed a coworker’s influence would never be strong enough to persuade someone like Sasuke to go to therapy. He didn’t correct him. She was, after all, likely the only friend he’d ever have. “Yeah,” he said.

“How’s your relationship with them?”

“Fine, I guess,” Sasuke shrugged, squirming a little. He thought about the cafeteria, and Sakura’s invite for him to meet her friends. The squirming probably gave him away.

“Did something happen?”

This was easier to talk about, so Sasuke said, “She wants me to meet her friends.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“No.”

“Do you know why?”

“I don’t need friends.”

The room fell silent for a brief moment. Kakashi soon picked it back up, “Maybe, if you feel comfortable doing so, you could give it a try.”

Sasuke sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. His mouth opened for a retort, but Kakashi kept on talking.

“Not that you have to,” he said. “But, it seems to me that whatever happened to you twenty years ago is impeding on your ability to socialize. Hanging out with others can have its benefits. Maybe having friends isn’t for you, but it could be. It’s often a good way to open yourself up when you have others around you that you trust. If that’s what you want. You can see how you feel about it, and then decide if you really don’t need friends.”

Sasuke stared for a while, tossing the idea around and keeping himself for snapping at the inclination that he didn’t know what he wanted.

Before the accident, he was excited about the prospect of meeting a new friend. Maybe it was the trauma that quelled that desire, or maybe he was just a silly 6-year-old who didn’t know any better. He wasn’t entirely sure.

“Just think about it,” Kakashi said, and then they changed the subject again.

Two weeks later he arrived early to his appointment, which was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Kakashi was always late, being early only made it worse.

But he’d gotten up too early that morning, and he’d had too much time to think about things he didn’t like thinking about. Like planes, and blood, and the woman he’d operated on the previous night who hadn’t made it. The other surgeons had told him there was nothing more he could’ve done. That hadn’t actually been as comforting as they’d thought it’d been.

So, he was in the waiting room nearly thirty minutes early. Naruto wasn’t there this time, but Sasuke only allowed himself to dwell on that for a second or two before sitting in his usual seat.

It wasn’t long, anyway, before Naruto did show up. He came in with a forest green jacket on and dark blue jeans. Sasuke could see the collar of an orange shirt poking up at the top. It was getting cold out, so it wasn’t a shocking look. What was, though, was how long Sasuke stared and admired the way those clothes fit on the annoying blonde.

“Hey, Dr. Prick,” Naruto said with a smile, like the stupid nickname was some sort of term of endearment. He had a coffee in one hand and a rolled up magazine in the other. He walked over and plopped carelessly in the seat next to Sasuke.

“Hn,” Sasuke didn’t respond. He hated that his stomach turned with excitement, like he’d somehow craved Naruto’s presence.

Naruto sipped his coffee while his other hand flipped the magazine to a seemingly random page. They sat like that in silence for a while before Sasuke smelled something strong and spicy by his face.

He looked, and it was Naruto’s coffee being held up to him. He eyed it, then gave Naruto a half-hearted glare. “What?” he asked.

Naruto shrugged, “Want some?”

“There’s a coffee machine here,” Sasuke said, then pointed at it, as if the table full of coffee, creamers and cups could possibly go unnoticed.

Naruto rolled his eyes, “That coffee is shit. Trust me.”

“I don’t want your coffee,” Sasuke said next, and it didn’t come out at bland and uninterested as he’d wanted it to.

“Suit yourself. It’s pumpkin spice season. You’re missing out,” Naruto brought the cup back to his mouth and took a long sip, then made an exaggerated show of moaning and licking his lips.

Sasuke scoffed out a short laugh, but held a hand over his mouth to quickly cover it up. Naruto seemed to have noticed, because his eyes danced and his lips curled, but he didn’t say anything about it. Sasuke cleared his throat, “I’ve never had it. Wouldn’t know what I was missing.”

“All the more reason for you to try it,” Naruto said, then took another long sip.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “Whatever, idiot.” But, despite himself, he held out his hand.

Naruto’s eyes widened, “Really? Shit, here, taste it.” He placed the cup in Sasuke’s hand, then sat back to observe him.

Sasuke smirked, “You’re watching me?”

Naruto chuckled and nodded, “Hell yeah. You’re about to have an orgasm, and I can’t miss that.”

Sasuke choked on his own spit and coughed. Naruto just leaned back with a loud bark of laughter. “Moron,” Sasuke wheezed, glaring because he’d nearly spilled the coffee after that comment. His cheeks felt warm too, but he had enough dignity to ignore that.

“Kidding, kidding,” Naruto said, and his hand was suddenly rubbing circles in Sasuke’s back while he collected himself. That wasn’t helping, but he didn’t want Naruto to stop either.

Instead of dissecting that, he sat up straight, cleared his throat and quickly took a sip.

Naruto removed his hand to grab the cup when it was handed back, watching Sasuke as he swallowed.

It really was good, Sasuke decided. For him, a little too sweet, but he could see the appeal.

“Well?” Naruto pressed.

Sasuke shrugged, “It’s sweet.”

Naruto threw himself back in his seat and groaned, “What a buzzkill. ‘It’s sweet,’ he says.” He rolled his eyes, but was smiling as he took another sip.

They fell into another bout of silence after that. It was comfortable, not tense like it usually was while they waited for Kakashi to show up. And, as much as Naruto seemed to love talking, he knew how to stay quiet.

Ten minutes later, it was Sasuke who spoke, “What did you lose this time?”

Naruto didn’t look up from the article about some celebrity divorce in the magazine when he answered, “My wallet.”

“Hn,” Sasuke didn’t have anything to add. But, the quiet bothered him today. He wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe it was for the same reason why he’d shown up early. How he’d sat in his loft after showering, brushing his teeth and eating breakfast, and sat on his couch with nothing by silence to comfort him.

“I’d hate to be famous,” Naruto said.

“I figured you’d love being the center of attention,” Sasuke commented with a shrug.

“Nah, I like to lay low.” Sasuke wasn’t convinced. He turned to Naruto with an eyebrow raised. Naruto looked at him and grinned, “What? I do!”

“Right,” Sasuke drawled out the word.

“Okay, maybe not,” Naruto conceded. “But, shit, I’d hate my personal business being in some dollar magazine for any asshole to pick up and make assumptions about.”

Sasuke nodded, because he’d hate that too. “They do make a lot of money,” he’d said, instead of verbally agreeing.

Naruto laughed, “No amount of money would make this shit okay.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“I think I’d make a good actor, though,” Naruto said and Sasuke couldn’t stop the small bit of laughter that bubbled out. “What?” Naruto laughed along with him. “I would! I starred in three high school plays.”

Sasuke snorted, “Okay, DiCaprio.”

Naruto laughed harder, leaning closer to Sasuke and nudging him with his shoulder. “You’re an ass.”

Sasuke scratched at his brow, and he couldn’t stop fucking smiling. Albeit, it was a barely-there sort of smile, but incredibly hard to taper.

“So,” Naruto started to say once they’d settled into another silence. “What type of doctor are you, anyway?”

Sasuke looked at him, and Naruto was looking right back. He was still sipping at his coffee, but he looked wholly focused on Sasuke. He cleared his throat before he answered, “I’m training to be a trauma surgeon.”

Naruto hissed and let out a low whistle, “Really? Jesus, that’s scary.”

“You think so?” Sasuke had never thought so. It just seemed well-fitting. When he wasn’t silently panicking or feeling nauseous about a patient’s injuries, he was a damn good surgeon. Calm and collected, in control, steady handed... it just made sense. But, maybe it was a little scary.

“Yeah, man,” Naruto nodded. “I could never do something like that. Kinda amazing, honestly.” He shrugged, like it was nothing. But the offhanded compliment sent a heat from Sasuke’s gut, up to his neck. It made him warm and flustered. He didn’t know how to handle it.

So, he changed the subject, “What do you do?”

“Me?” Naruto grinned. “I’m a cook.”

Sasuke smirked, “You wouldn’t happen to know about the food poisoning cases coming into the ER, would you?”

Naruto gasped, and then laughed hard. “You dick! Of course not! My food is amazing. Hell, might even loosen you up a bit.”

“Loosen me up?” Sasuke’s nose scrunched.

Naruto snorted, “Yeah. Loosen you up. Get you to relax a little. Maybe people will be able to look past your brick wall demeanor so they can see that gorgeous face of yours.”

Sasuke sucked in a breath. He hated how his stomach turned. He hated that Naruto was just smiling cheekily. He wished he hadn’t frozen up either, because Naruto was just smiling wider the longer he watched Sasuke’s face go from shock to mortification.

“My bad. Had to wait while a herd of cows crossed the train tracks,” Kakashi said as he entered. The excuse made little to no sense, but Sasuke figured the man just said the first thing that came to mind.

Sasuke didn’t care, either way. He just sat and watched as Naruto collected his magazine and half-empty coffee and followed Kakashi into the office.

When he came back out, he did his usual salute and grinned, “Later, Sasuke.” He was out the door seconds later.

Sasuke just stared. His mind turned over what Naruto had said. Calling him gorgeous... what a moron. Sasuke didn’t get it. Not the compliment itself, but the fact that it made him feel off kilter. He’s gotten more compliments than he cared to count throughout his years. Most of them had been unwanted, and the few he’d encouraged hadn’t made him seize up like this. And it wasn’t that Naruto was a man. Sasuke had already resigned to the fact that Naruto was more his type physically than he’d care to admit outside the deepest corner of his mind. It was just...

“You coming, Sasuke?” Kakashi said, standing by his door and watching Sasuke sit and stare out at nothing.

Sasuke snapped his eyes up to him, gave him a jerky nod, then followed him inside.

Sasuke: You put your number in my phone?

Sasuke texted Sakura once he’d gotten home from the hospital. It was 3 a.m., but he knew she was awake because her shift didn’t end until 5 a.m.

It took thirty minutes for her to reply.

Sakura: You mad at me?

He wasn’t. Not really. He’d assumed she would’ve eventually. He was mostly irked that he hadn’t noticed until he’d decided to scroll through his short list of contacts. He didn’t even know when she’d put it in.

Sasuke: No.

Sakura: Good.

He kicked his shoes off as he made his way through his loft toward the open space that was both a living room, a bedroom and a kitchen. It was a large space, for a studio.

He stripped on his way to the couch until he was down to his boxer briefs. He collapsed into the soft leather cushions and placed his phone down beside him. With a deep, weathered sigh, he ran both hands through his hair and spread out so that he was laying across. He squirmed, grabbing his phone from under his leg and placing it on his flat stomach. For a while after that, he stared up at the ceiling.

A few minutes went by before his phone vibrated. He lifted it and peered at the screen.

Sakura: You OK?

He quickly tapped out his response.

Sasuke: Fine.

Sakura: Sure?

Sakura: ...

Sakura: Sasuke?

Sakura: You’re not drinking, are you?

Sasuke snorted at the thought. He’d never been drunk in his life.

Sasuke: Shut up

Sakura: Oh, good.

He bit his lip as he stared at the messages on his screen. He’d had a point in texting her, and it wasn’t just to accuse her of putting her number in his phone. He’d guess that on his own.

With a frustrated huff, he rolled his eyes and willed himself to send out another message.

Sasuke: I thought about what you said.

Sakura: Yeah?

Sasuke: I’ll meet your stupid friends.

A moment later.

Sasuke: I guess.

Sakura: !!!!

Sasuke: Stop.

Sakura: We’re in the ER Saturday morning. We can go out after?

Saturday morning meant being at the hospital at 4 a.m. The shift was a pain in the ass, but they were usually out by 6 p.m. At least he’d have the excuse of being exhausted and having to go home after a 14-hour shift if he hated them.

Sasuke: Whatever

He dropped his phone onto the coffee table and ignored the way it vibrated against the glass with Sakura’s response.

Back to staring at the ceiling, he allowed his mind to wander. Itachi’s kind face popped into his head, almost immediately. That had been happening far too often lately. He roughly rubbed at his tired eyes, rubbing out the memory altogether.

He should go to his bed, but he didn’t feel like moving. So, he just stayed there staring until his eyes started to droop.

And if the last image that flashed in his mind was a wide grin and stupidly blue eyes, he wouldn’t admit that it comforted him in any way.

Saturday’s shift was a mess, to say the least.

There was an explosion at an apartment building just south of where the hospital was. Over twenty patients came in with variations of first to third degree burns. They lost three on the table by 8 a.m. Seven needed emergency cleaning and debriding, the lucky ones had their wounds cleaned and soothed with antibiotic ointments from the nurses. By noon, Sasuke was prepped to do skin grafting on one of the younger patients, an 11-year-old who suffered third-degree burns on her cheek.

It was hell, but Sasuke didn’t hate it. Because, once the procedure was done and the girl was stable, he knew he’d just saved her, and made it so she could live a mostly normal life. Even if she’d been one of the patients who’d lost a sibling in the fire.

He’d gotten out of his scrubs, into the shower and changed by the time 6:30 rolled around. Sakura was waiting for him outside the hospital with a long, thin coat and dress on. She had on heels too and her hands were deep in her pockets. She looked just as weathered as he felt.

“I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink,” she said. Sasuke smirked and nodded but didn’t comment. It had been one hell of a shift, but they’d done good for themselves. The Chief of Surgery had watched his skin graft procedure too, and he knew that was just getting him closer to the fellowship program he’d been gunning for since he’d decided on being a trauma surgeon.

“You drive today?” She asked. He always drove.

He nodded.

“We’re meeting in the city at that Konoha sushi place,” she said.

Sasuke frowned, “I’m not hungry.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, “You have to eat. You didn’t eat at all today.” He wondered how she knew that.

“Are you hungry?” He challenged and she quickly shook her head.

“No. How could I be?” She laughed and wrapped her arm around Sasuke’s, walking them down the corner toward the street. “But I don’t plan on falling over either.”

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted. He ignored her arm around his, finding it oddly comforting after their long day, and said, “I can drive us,” when he noticed her on her phone.

“Ride’s on its way,” she said. He rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue.

Their Lyft came minutes later, and they escaped the chilly night air into the warm, heated vehicle.

The ride to Konoha wasn’t long, and neither felt the need to fill the space with idle chitchat. Sasuke wasn’t really a fan of it, and though he knew Sakura was one of the more personable doctors on staff, she seemed pleased enough to just sit and stare out the window along with him.

The car pulled to a stop in front of the small sushi spot. It was busy, but not packed. He could see it as they got outside through the large windows of the restaurant. Sakura leaned back into the car to thank the driver, before the man pulled off and left them there. Sasuke suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Sakura wrapped her arm around his again and dragged him toward the front door. They walked in and were greeted by the warm smell of ramen, with a hint of salty raw fish. It reminded him that he really did need to eat.

Inside, Sakura lifted a hand and waved to some small group at a booth. Sasuke was too busy looking around to really see them before she was pulling him over.

There were three people seated. The two who were facing their direction looked like a couple. The girl looked small, with her shoulder length black hair and translucent (slightly terrifying) eyes. The guy beside her looked nothing, if not like the wildest man Sasuke had ever seen. He had shaggy brown hair and red tattoos on both cheeks. It didn’t look bad... per se. It was almost fitting. But, Sasuke had never imagined he’d ever find himself sitting across the table from someone who actually had face tattoos.

The third person, he couldn’t see from where they’d approached. He was blonde and tall, even while sitting. That’s all Sasuke could tell.

Sakura walked over and squeezed into the booth next to the man with the tattoos. “Hey, guys,” she smiled and leaned across the table to scruff up the blonde’s hair

Sasuke sat across from Sakura, just as she’d reclaimed her seat. The blonde laughed and grumbled, “Christ, Sakura.” His voice was all too familiar.

Sasuke whipped his head to look beside him and found Naruto there doing the same, eyes wide and shocked.

“Sasuke?” Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed together as the name slipped from his lips. He looked to Sakura, who was also looking a bit confused. “He’s the guy from the hospital?” he asked.

Sakura nodded and smiled, “You two know each other?” She looked from Naruto to Sasuke.

Sasuke cleared his throat and shrugged.

Naruto’s face grew red and Sasuke didn’t think he’d ever seen Naruto get so embarrassed. Not that he’d ever really had the opportunity to. This was the first time he’d seen the blonde outside of Kakashi’s office.

Naruto hung his head and groaned, “Oh, my God.”

Sasuke glared, and it was mostly instinctual. His heart felt heavy at the thought of Naruto actually being this distressed about seeing him outside of that office. Not that it should bother him. They traded insults more so than anything else. Even if the last time they’d seen each other things had felt different, more casual. Regardless, he didn’t think his presence warranted that sort of reaction.

But then the tattooed man started laughing hard, the girl beside him with the creepy eyes was giggling and even Sakura was covering her mouth, hiding an unmistakable smile of her own. Naruto buried his face in his hands. “Kill me,” he whimpered.

Sasuke huffed and his mouth formed into a snarl, disregarding the three across from them, he said, “If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

Naruto’s head snapped back up, “No! No, that’s not— it’s just...” his eyes darted over to Sakura, then his other two friends. It looked like he was silently pleading with them.

Sakura moved her hand from her mouth and made a motion like she was closing a zipper on it, and nodded. The man beside her was still cackling, so she elbowed him to get him to stop. The creepy-eyed girl was only smiling now. Sasuke found it all too weird.

“What?” Sasuke snapped, because now he was angry and confused and a little hurt, but he didn’t want to think about that last one.

Naruto looked at Sasuke again. His face was still red. “I don’t want you to leave. Seriously.”

Sasuke huffed through his nose, looking resistant, feeling it too, but nodding despite himself.

Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his hair, relieved. The waitress showed up a second later.

“Hey y’all,” the woman dressed in a yukata said. Her hair was up in two buns on her head. She had a tray in one hand and started setting out water for them. A small stack of menus were tucked under her arm.

“Hey, Ten. Wanna give us a round?” Naruto said, smiling as he accepted a menu from her. She placed four others on the table in front of everyone else.

“Sure thing, boss,” she waved and walked off.

“Boss?” Sasuke questioned once she was gone.

Naruto just shrugged, looking sheepish as he sipped his water.

Sasuke stared for a moment, before Sakura cleared her throat. “Well, I guess you know Naruto,” she said, sounding cheeky and Sasuke really wanted to know what the hell the hidden message was. They all seemed to be in on it except him. She gestured over to the couple next to her. “This is Kiba and Hinata. We all went to middle school together.”

Kiba reached his hand over the table, “Nice to meet you, man.” Sasuke accepted it with a short shake. “Heard a lot of good things about you.” He winked at Naruto, then jumped and hissed in pain as he settled back in his seat. Naruto was glaring. Sasuke suspected that Naruto might have kicked Kiba for that comment. Which was odd, and not at all warranting of a kick, Sasuke would say.

“Hi,” Hinata said with a meek wave and a sweet smile. Sasuke couldn’t help letting her catch the briefest glimpse of his own smile, before he wiped it off.

“Hi,” he mimicked, then took a drink of his water.

“So, Sakura said you’ve been at the hospital with her for a year now?” Kiba asked, and the conversation flowed after that. It started with them asking general questions about who he was, where he went to school, why he wanted to be a doctor. And once they’d exhausted that, they started telling Sasuke about themselves.

Kiba was a truck driver. Hinata worked as a clerk at a law office, Naruto was the manager and head chef at Konoha.

They steered away from some topics, Sasuke noticed. Sakura didn’t know much about Sasuke’s family, or what happened, but she knew enough. It was just him and his aunt now, and she was old enough that he wasn’t sure how long he’d have her. His uncle had passed away a few years back while he was still an undergrad.

There were moments where Sasuke felt like Naruto and his friends stumbled into a touchy subject of their own, desperately backtracking when they’d started telling Sasuke about some time at the beach, or when Hinata went to get her ears pierced. They were odd stories to fumble and get flustered by, but Sasuke figured there were things he’d maybe never know about that were troubling them. He found it strange that by the end of it all, he’d wished he knew why Hinata had gotten this look like she might cry, or why Sakura had excused herself to go to the bathroom, or why Kiba and Naruto tensed when Sasuke has conjured up the nerve to ask Hinata about her family.

But those moments came and went and so did the food.

Two hours later, they were standing outside, saying goodbye to Kiba and Hinata, who were parked in the lot behind the restaurant. Sakura had her phone out when she turned to Naruto and asked, “Need a Lyft somewhere?”

Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets and shook his head. “Nah,” he grinned. “Brought my bike.”

Sakura smiled and nodded back. And then she made some sort of weird motion with her eyes between Naruto and Sasuke. Then a pointed look at Naruto that had the blonde looking flustered. Sasuke glared, opening his mouth to ask what the fuck this was all about, when Naruto spoke up.

“Want a ride back?”

Sasuke turned to look at Naruto. He was a little red in the face, but didn’t shy away from Sasuke’s eyes.

“That’s a great idea,” Sakura said, walking up with a big smile. “He parked at the hospital. You should definitely do that.”

“Sakura,” Sasuke cut in, glaring at her.

She just shrugged, “My building’s, like, three blocks away. It only makes sense.”

Sasuke sighed. “You’re not serious,” he grumbled.

She didn’t respond. She simply waved and said, “Bye guys!” as she walked off, presumably to wherever she lived.

And now it was just the two of them standing in front of the restaurant. Sasuke turned back to Naruto, and he was still looking a bit flustered, but less nervous now.

Naruto pointed a thumb over his shoulder, “I parked down the street.”

Sasuke sucked his teeth, but gestured with his hand for Naruto to show him the way.

They only had to walk a block to get to where Naruto had parked. When he’d said bike, Sasuke wasn’t foolish enough to think it was some basket wielding 10-speed, but being face-to-face with the large motorcycle that greeted him gave him a noticeable bit of anxiety.

“I have an extra helmet,” Naruto said, going to the back to pull out two. He moved to hand one over to Sasuke, but froze when he saw his paling face. “You’re not scared, are you?”

Sasuke snapped his eyes up from the bike to glare at Naruto. “Of course not.” He was a little scared, but only because he’d never been on a bike. And the likelihood of death by collision was proportionately higher if they were to get rammed by a semi while on a motorcycle.

Naruto grinned and pressed the helmet to Sasuke’s chest, forcing him to grab it. “I’ll drive slow,” he said, and winked and Sasuke refused to believe it caused the heat that rose to his neck.

Naruto straddled the bike with his helmet, before lifting and strapping it on his head. He had one foot settled on the floor, while the other was on the peg. Sasuke just stared at the image for a moment, wrestling to keep the heat from pooling down to his privates. Because he felt it. He didn’t want to, but it was there. Pure desire. A rush of lust he hadn’t really seen coming until it was already there and making him the slightest bit horny.

He cleared his throat and positioned the helmet on his head. It helped hide the way his cheeks were growing pink. He strapped it on and walked over with an amount of confidence that was far more feigned than he would ever admit, and sat behind Naruto on the bike.

Naruto turned his head, still grinning, and said, “You’re gonna wanna hold onto me, Princess.”

Sasuke would’ve had a good comeback for that, but Naruto pulled up the kickstand, revved up the bike, and sped onto the street. Sasuke, beyond his wits at this point, hurriedly wrapped his arms tight around Naruto’s middle. If he weren’t fearing for his life, he would’ve reveled at the hard muscles he could feel, even with Naruto’s jacket in the way. Or how, when Naruto laughed at how hard Sasuke was clinging to him, he could feel the vibrations and it made him smile too.

The ride back to the hospital was quick, just as it had been to get to the restaurant. Though, it felt like forever that he was on that bike, listening to the engine and the sound of Naruto’s laugh to keep him calm.

When Naruto parked, Sasuke was a bit shaky and felt dizzy.

Naruto pushed out the kickstand and got up first. “That wasn’t so bad, right?” Naruto said, smiling as he helped Sasuke off the bike and onto his feet.

“I hate you,” Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto laughed, “Yeah, yeah. Well, I got you here in one piece.”

Sasuke snorted out a short laugh, feeling more like himself now that he was on solid ground. “I’m not gonna thank you for not killing me.”

“You could thank me for the ride?” Naruto shrugged.

“Not doing that, either,” Sasuke said and Naruto laughed again.

“Uh-huh,” he said and rolled his eyes.

Sasuke unclipped the helmet and handed it back. Naruto took it and sat with it on his bike.

They were quiet again. Sasuke wished he could just will his legs to walk away. He’d blame his inability to immediately do so on the bike ride, and being disoriented, not because he wanted to be around Naruto for as many seconds as he could.

Luckily, Naruto was the one to break the tension. “Well, I’ll see you,” he said. Sasuke expected Naruto to give him one of his trademark, dumbass salutes. But he didn’t. He held his hand out for Sasuke to take.

Sasuke looked down at it, hesitated, but soon stretched his own out toward Naruto’s. It was warm, in the cold air, and felt oddly intimate. They weren’t really shaking hands, either. It was just Naruto’s hand gripping Sasuke’s extended fingers.

And then Naruto’s thumb stroked over the back of his hand, twice, maybe three times. Sasuke sucked in a breath, and a second later, Naruto was clearing his throat and letting his hand go.

“Okay, well,” Naruto said, tucking his second helmet away and positioning himself on his bike.

Sasuke didn’t even get to respond before Naruto was speeding away.

The next morning, he had therapy.

When he walked in, Naruto was already there. He looked up and smiled at Sasuke from where he’d been working on a Rubik’s Cube. It was half complete.

“Hey Princess. How’s the morning treating you?” he said as Sasuke slumped into the seat next to Naruto.

He realized a second too late that this was the first time he’d gotten there last, and he could’ve chosen any seat in the waiting room.

“Here,” Naruto said next and he was holding a coffee out to Sasuke. Sasuke looked it over suspiciously, then caught sight of a second cup on the table next to Naruto.

“I told you it was too sweet,” he said, but he accepted it anyway. He tried not to think about why Naruto would go out of his way to bring him his own coffee.

“It’s black,” Naruto said as Sasuke took a sip. “Like your soul.”

Sasuke choked around the hot liquid and Naruto was laughing. A bit of coffee dribbled out of his mouth, so he wiped it away while he collected himself. He glared at Naruto, and even he knew it was halfhearted. “Very funny,” he said.

Naruto snickered and took a sip of his own coffee, the Rubik’s Club still half complete, but now in his lap. “I thought so,” Naruto said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and took another sip.

He wasn’t sure when things became like this. Maybe it was the crossword from about a month ago. Maybe it was that damn pumpkin spice concoction. Maybe it was at Konoha. But, at some point, they’d gotten comfortable around each other.

After that first time with the black coffee, whenever Naruto was in the waiting room, he’d have a coffee for himself and one for Sasuke. Their insults became more like jokes. Naruto wasn’t calling him Dr. Prick anymore, and had stuck to Princess, which wasn’t any better, really.

Soon enough, Sasuke had found himself hoping he’d see Naruto before his therapy visits. He found himself flustering when Naruto would lean in close to snoop at whatever Sasuke was doing on his phone. He could feel his heart beat a little faster whenever Naruto’s leg would fall loose and rub against his. He often stared when Naruto was smiling or laughing, because it was all so bright and infectious.

And then when he’d get home from a shift at the hospital, he’d think more and more about Naruto’s warm presence. He’d think about his stupid jokes and strange interests in puzzles. How Naruto would rub his neck when he was flustered by something, or how his wild, blonde hair was always a mess because he couldn’t keep his hands out of it.

He thought about the raspy sound of Naruto’s voice, his tanned skin, his intensely blue eyes. And it was worse when he’d wake up hard, or was in the shower, because that’s all he could think about when he wrapped his hand around himself, stroking like Naruto was there taking care of it for him. When he’d come, thinking of Naruto’s lips on his neck, Naruto’s mouth around him, or being stretched open and left pleading, Sasuke realized he might have a problem.

It was winter now. Snow threatened to fall from the sky, but it hadn’t happened quite yet. Kakashi’s office was decorated in Christmas themed ornaments, tinsel, lights and complete with a large tree in the waiting room with makeshift presents stacked around it. Charlie Brown’s Christmas special was playing on the TV.

When Sasuke showed up for his appointment, Naruto was there with coffee and fiddling with green origami paper he was turning into a deer.

Naruto was already holding out the black coffee when Sasuke had sat down. “Here you go, Princess,” Naruto said and Sasuke dully accepted the offer.

“Thanks, idiot,” he said, smirking when he heard Naruto snicker at the insult.

“It’s fucking cold outside, isn’t it?” Naruto said and Sasuke snorted.

“That tends to happen around this time of year.” He looked over and down at Naruto’s intricate creation. It was well done, a mixture of small folds and dedicated details.

When Naruto was done, he held it up to eye level and wiggled it around at Sasuke. Simulating as if the deer were running. “Like it?” he asked.

Sasuke shrugged, “It’s not bad.”

“As if you could do any better,” Naruto scoffed. And Sasuke couldn’t, so he didn’t argue there. “Here,” Naruto said, holding the folded animal out to Sasuke.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at it, before delicately taking it and turning it in his hand. “What’s this?”

“A deer,” Naruto said, like it was obvious.

Sasuke huffed, “No, stupid. Why are you giving it to me?”

Naruto slumped in his chair and shrugged. He held his coffee up to his face, but Sasuke could still see his cheeks getting red. “Early Christmas gift,” he said, then took a sip.

“Hn,” Sasuke nodded. He wasn’t sure what to do with it. He didn’t want to put it in his pocket. It might get crushed. He settled with balancing it on his leg while he waited for Kakashi to show up.

“You doing anything for Christmas?” Naruto said moments later. Sasuke looked at him, and he was doing that thing where he ducked his head and rubbed at his neck. He was nervous.

“I don’t celebrate,” he said. And that was mostly true. His aunt and uncle were never big on holidays. His mom had been, and aunt Uruchi had tried to keep it up after the accident. By the time he turned eighteen, it just didn’t make sense anymore. Aside from calling her, as he’d done for Thanksgiving, he’d just planned on doing his shift at the hospital and going back to his empty loft. Sakura hadn’t even offered to celebrate, but it seemed like she had her own reasons for that.

“Oh,” Naruto said. They settled into silence again, but Sasuke knew by now that Naruto’s thoughts were loud. He knew the idiot had more to say.

“What is it?” he asked, eyeing Naruto up, because he was squirming in his seat now.

“I was just wondering...” he trailed off and licked his lips. Sasuke caught the movement. It made his chest feel hot. He ignored it. “Well,” Naruto tried again, scratching at his hair this time. “I don’t usually... we don’t—my friends and I...”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “Will you just say what’s on your mind?”

Naruto paused and gave Sasuke a long, accessing look. Sasuke wondered if he should’ve just dropped it. But, Naruto sat up, set his coffee aside and turned to face Sasuke as fully as he could in his chair. “My friends... we don’t hang out at Christmas anymore. It’s a long story. It’s why I’m here. Well, not why I’m here now, but why I see Kakashi. We uh... we lost someone two years ago. During Christmas, I mean. Hinata’s... her...” Naruto shook his head. “Never mind. Not the point. It’s erm... I just figured; it might be nice if you don’t... you know? If you’re not busy. If you wanted to...”

Sasuke blinked at him. He worked to put the pieces together beyond Naruto’s rambling. Some things were starting to make sense. Why Naruto had become so withdrawn when Sasuke had made that comment about his friends nearly six months ago when they’d first met. Why that sushi dinner had gotten quiet and awkward at moments Sasuke hadn’t fully been able to understand. That all made sense. They’d lost someone. Hinata’s relative or former boyfriend maybe? But, what he wasn’t too sure of was... “Are you asking me out?” Sasuke blurted out.

Naruto’s eyes widened, “Uh...” he looked frozen for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes, “If I was asking you out... would you say yes?”

Sasuke huffed, like the breath had been knocked from his chest. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling, but excitement was there, mixed in with a litany of others. He couldn’t really form any proper words, so he just nodded to save himself from having to.

Naruto’s eyes lit up, brighter than all the Christmas lights around them. “Okay,” Naruto said. “Okay, then. Yeah, Princess. I’d like it if you celebrated Christmas with me. Like... a date.”

Sasuke stared again, half-mesmerized by the look in Naruto’s eyes, but then he broke his own trance with a bit of unexpected laughter. “You’re a moron,” he said.

“And you’re an asshole,” Naruto replied, voice dripping with fondness and honey. It made Sasuke’s cheeks feel warm. “Hey, um…” Naruto started to say. “Can I maybe… kiss you?” 

Sasuke bit his lip. He could feel his mouth involuntarily curling into a smile. And God, it’s not like he’s never been kissed. He’s done a lot worse than a silly kiss, to be honest. But, for some reason, this felt so much different.

After a prolonged few seconds, Sasuke willed himself to answer with a nod, once again unable to get the word ‘yes’ out. 

Naruto reached out and stroked Sasuke’s cheek with his thumb. “Yeah?” Naruto asked, sounding shy and unsure. It did ridiculous things to Sasuke’s heart. He couldn’t take much more of it. He placed a hand over the one Naruto had on his cheek and leaned forward to cross the distance between them without warning. And hell, that just made the feeling in his chest so much worse. 

Naruto sucked in a breath as their lips touched. The kiss was soft and tentative. It wasn't anything special or fancy, just their lips feathering together in a sweet sort of way. And yet, it sent shocks throughout Sasuke's entire being. It was like a rush of adrenaline went straight to his head and made him feel lightheaded.

They were both being careful, only leaning into the pressure for a moment before they both pulled back. 

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes, not even noticing when he’d closed them in the first place. Naruto did the same, and they stared at each other for just a second before they were diving back in. This time with Naruto’s hand on the back of Sasuke’s neck, pulling him in while he tilted his head and licked right into Sasuke’s mouth. 

Sasuke had never felt this way from a kiss before, he couldn’t help but think as Naruto kissed him a second time. It was a bit rougher, Naruto tugged at Sasuke's lips  with his teeth and tasted him with his tongue. Sasuke had never felt so hot and needy, like he might abandon all of his senses and crawl right into Naruto’s lap to bring them closer, just because of a kiss. He wouldn’t do it, because he wasn’t a moron, but his whole body itched to do so. 

Naruto tilted his head again, leaning it to the other side so he could kiss Sasuke deeper. He let out soft puffs of air through his nose as he worked his jaw and expertly wrapped his lips around Sasuke's. He hummed at the feeling and Sasuke could feel the little vibrations from the noise on his lips. And Sasuke could hear himself sounding the same, out of breath and lost in the moment. His hands found their way into Naruto’s hair, squeezing and pulling, making more of a mess of it. Naruto didn’t seem to mind. He groaned softly and sucked on Sasuke’s bottom lip, as if he was thanking him for it. Sasuke heard the filthy sound that came out of his own throat from the treatment, and the accompanied tightness in his pants, and it brought him back to where he was and why it would be a terrible idea to start taking Naruto’s clothes off. 

He pulled back, barely resisting the way Naruto’s tongue flicked against his in the most inviting way possible as they separated. This wasn’t the time or place to accept that silent offer. 

Once they were apart, Naruto leaned back and let out heavy breath. “Jesus, Sasuke,” he said, low and a bit strained. Sasuke knew his entire face was red, but he didn’t have it in him to look away from Naruto’s flustered face, wrangled hair and swollen lips. God, he wanted to kiss him again. 

The door opened and Kakashi came in with a casual, “Damn street cats again,” like that would make up for the fifteen minutes he wasted of Sasuke’s time.

Sasuke didn’t even care. 

“Am I...” Kakashi started to say, when neither Sasuke nor Naruto looked at him right away. He took in the sight of them and his voice dropped lower as he said, “Interrupting?” 

Sasuke snapped out of it first, tearing his eyes away. That seemed to propel Naruto into action. 

Naruto got up quickly, adjusting his pants as casually as he could manage, and said, “I was just leaving, old man.”

“Right,” Kakashi drawled, but went over to unlock his office without further comment.

Sasuke stood, the origami deer carefully clutched in his hand. He watched Naruto walk toward the exit with his head cocked. “Aren’t you forgetting what you came here for?” Sasuke asked. Because for months he’d seen Naruto scrambling into Kakashi’s office because of a forgotten phone or keys or wallet.

Naruto stopped at the door, turned and gave Sasuke a breathtaking grin. Sasuke faltered. “Nah,” Naruto said, rubbing his hand absently over his lips. “I got exactly what I came for.” He winked and then walked out.

This would be their last therapy session before the new year. Sasuke was still a bit disoriented from what Naruto had said before he left.

He’d come to ask Sasuke on a date. And then they'd kissed. 

Sasuke could hardly contain himself after that. The excitement he’d felt earlier was only growing. But he was good at compartmentalizing. He always had been. So, instead of walking into Kakashi’s office with a big, stupid grin, the way he felt like doing. He remained stoic and impassive.

He sat across from the older man and said, “My parents and my brother died in a plane crash I was supposed to be on too.”

Kakashi’s eyes grew wide, but only for a brief moment.

This was the first time Sasuke had gone into any sort of details about the incident. And the timing felt right, if not a bit jarring. They’d unpacked so much already; it was the last thing left untouched. And Kakashi with his shovel was right on top of it. With the year ending, Sasuke was allowing Kakashi to dig it out. They could spend the next year pulling it up to the surface. Sasuke would learn to live with it, not bury it. That was the unspoken goal. Sasuke knew enough about psychology to know what it took to recover. To know that working around PTSD was a lengthy process. It took multiple steps and some of them could only be taken if Sasuke willed himself to do so.

He’d been reluctant for six months to move on to this next step, but with Naruto’s smile in mind and that promise of a Christmas date, Sasuke felt like he was ready.

“They were on a trip back to Japan,” Sasuke continued. “My parents were thinking of moving back there. I couldn’t go, because I had the flu. My aunt and uncle were taking care of me,” Sasuke looked down at his lap as he took a moment to reorganize the words in his head. He stared down at the origami deer and his lips twitched upward despite the memory that was resurfacing. “They were supposed to be back by noon. I could tell my aunt and uncle were worried, but they didn’t say anything. They just kept acting like it was a regular day. But, I knew something was wrong. It was just in the air. I could feel it. At night the police came, and it was like we were all pulled underwater.”

Sasuke cut himself short then. He could feel it all over again. That feeling of suffocating. How his ears popped and his lungs filled with water he knew was made up. Even so, it kept him from breathing all the same. Everything around him was sinking. The house he’d lived in with his family was sinking. His mom and dad were sinking. His brother was sinking. He was sinking. His aunt and uncle were there too. It made him feel lightheaded and lost and lonely.

“Do you want to keep going?” Kakashi’s voice pulled him back up.

Sasuke’s eyes refocused and he was back to looking down at the deer in his hands. He wasn’t sure how, but he felt a little bit better.

He looked up next, eyes determined as they locked on Kakashi’s, and nodded. “I had a lot of friends before the accident. Itachi was always my favorite. I looked up to him.” Kakashi’s eyes did something, showing that he was confused, so Sasuke clarified. “Itachi is my brother. He was twelve at the time, but he was my best friend.” He cleared his throat. “After the accident I got into a bad fight. Broke some kid’s arm in two places. My aunt pulled me out and I didn’t go back until I was eight.”

“Did that help?”

“I think so,” Sasuke wasn’t sure. Maybe he needed the space. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe being away from his peers made him too comfortable with the idea of being alone. Maybe it didn’t. He just wasn’t sure anymore.

“Have you ever told anyone what happened? That feeling like you’re underwater?” Kakashi pressed, light and encouraging.

Sasuke shook his head.

“Your aunt and uncle?”

“We never talked about it.”

Kakashi nodded. “How do you feel now? If I’m the first person who you’ve told. How does that feel?”

Sasuke tossed it around in his mind, thinking it over, assessing how his body felt like he was... floating? “Like I can breathe.”

Sasuke got home from therapy in a daze. He felt strange. New, almost.

He kicked off his shoes, walked over and nearly threw himself onto his bed. He turned on his back and held up the origami deer that he’d held the entire session.

As he laid there, he fiddled with the folded paper, twisting and turning it in his hand as he took in every detail. It was then that he noticed a bit of writing, barely legible, on the deer’s left antler. He peered at it, holding it closer so he could read it. ‘Open me’ it said.

Sasuke let out a soft breath of laughter and immediately started undoing the folds.

It took him some time. Naruto had really packed it tight, and Sasuke didn’t want to rip anything (even if putting it back together was a hopeless prospect). Fifteen minutes of unfolding and refolding to unfold again got Sasuke to the end of the ordeal. He huffed and smiled because it was a stupid task and he’d been oddly engrossed in it.

When he got down to the final fold, he undid it and was greeted by an unknown phone number and a stupid drawing of what was so clearly Naruto blowing a kiss. ‘Call me’ it read.

Sasuke pressed the paper to his chest and laughed. It was such a stupid feeling, the way his chest heated up and swelled. The way his nerves bounced and shook with electricity. The way his mind wandered to the idiot with his bright smile and ridiculously blue eyes.

So stupid, and yet Sasuke was consumed by it.