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Rhodey was going to kill his boyfriend. He’d do it quickly, because he really liked Tony, but he was definitely going to smother the boy wonder with his pillow while he slept. The only flaw, of course, being that Tony didn’t really sleep. Still, Rhodey would figure it out.
Tony was being his usual chaotic self, playing with bang snaps at his desk while Rhodey was desperately trying to cram for his mechanical engineering class. He had no idea what Tony was doing to study, seeing as they had the test at the same time the next day. Those tiny explosions couldn’t be helping him memorize anything.
“Can you cut that out?” Rhodey huffed, turning to Tony and making a face. “I’m trying to study and you’re distracting me.”
Tony made a face right back. “Nope!” he said, popping the p. “Because you’ve been sitting and staring at that textbook for six hours. You can’t possibly still be studying. You’ve been on the same page for twenty minutes!”
“Not all of us are geniuses like you, Tones,” Rhodey reminded him. He looked at the clock; Tony really hadn’t been exaggerating. He stretched his back, sore from hunching over his book, and turned the page.
“Exactly, and as a certified genius, I’m qualified to tell you that you’re overstudying,”
“That’s another way of saying you’re an asshole,” grumbled Rhodey. “Certified genius, my foot. I watched you put a fork in the microwave this morning. Certified genius . Who gave you a certificate?”
Tony came over to Rhodey’s desk and sat on it, blocking the textbook from Rhodey’s sight. It was a sign of how serious he was that he didn’t respond to Rhodey’s teasing with something equally snarky. “Honeybear. Sour patch. Platypus.”
“I really don’t want to fail this test,” Rhodey huffed, resting his chin on his hands.
Tony reached out and tapped his nose. “And you won’t,” he promised. “Because you know all of this stuff. I’ve seen your homeworks and labs; you’re acing them. I don’t know what you could possibly be cramming that isn’t already in your brain, dummy. You’re overstudying and that’s only going to end badly. You’ll fry your brain!”
“You’re so supportive, thank you,” Rhodey deadpanned. “Get off my desk and let me study, you menace.”
“Make me,” Tony challenged. He crossed his arms. “And if you pick me up and move me, I’ll cry. This is a threat. Consider yourself warned.”
“Is tickling on the table?” asked Rhodey, wiggling his fingers to watch Tony squirm.
“Tickle me and lose a finger,” Tony hissed like a cat. It was unfairly adorable. “I will bite you.”
Rhodey laughed at the expression on his boyfriend’s face. “Fine, fine, no tickling,” he held up his hands in surrender. “Is bribery an option?”
“Depends on the bribe,” Tony said with a shrug. “Make your best offer, Honeybear.”
Rhodey pursed his lips and pretended to think. “I’ll give you… ten kisses if you get off my desk and let me study.”
“Twenty,” argued Tony like a true businessman. “And cuddles immediately afterward for as long as I want them.”
“Deal,” said Rhodey. It wasn’t like it was a hardship to cuddle his boyfriend. “Now, go sit on your own desk while I finish up.”
Tony grinned like he’d won something, which Rhodey didn’t understand, and made no move to get down. Rhodey had the strange feeling that he’d just played himself. He was sure Tony would do the villain monologue and explain soon enough, though. “No can do, Sour Patch,” said Tony. “You offered me a bribe. I’m collecting.”
Rhodey rolled his eyes. “I meant later ,” he said.
“But you didn’t specify, and I accepted under the pretense that it would be now,” Tony pointed out. Rhodey suddenly hated every business class the other boy had ever taken with a burning passion. Like Tony needed more practice in being a stubborn gremlin.
“I want you to know that you’re the worst,” Rhodey closed his textbook. “And while logically I know you’re right, I still think I need to review chapter ten. As soon as we’re done, I’m going back to studying.”
Tony shrugged airily. “Sure you are,” he said, leaning forward. “Now pay up. I’m counting.”
(Rhodey did
not
go back to studying after (way more than) twenty kisses, seeing as Tony glomped onto him and refused to let go--
cuddles were part of the deal, Rhodey!
-- and Rhodey was powerless to argue against him. He aced his test the next day, much to Tony’s smug satisfaction.)