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You fell in love with his mind first.
In the beginning, you didn’t notice it, never thinking your interest in him would be considered as love. You labeled it as a deep admiration for his intelligence, a brilliance that challenged yours. It was exciting to both be headstrong on opposing spectrums, constantly at each other’s throats with a mutual respect for one another. It was a complex relationship, solely based on your shared passion for science.
In the beginning, it was just an academic relationship.
Looking back now, it was bound to bloom into something more, something more than just a pair of nerds who bonded over the anatomy of the body or the chemical composition of a cell membrane. There was a tension that was overlooked by both parties that would eventually blow up in their faces.
In the beginning, he was nothing more than a very good looking academic competitor.
~~~
“It’s simple columnar epithelium,”
“Please tell me you’re joking. It’s clearly stratified columnar, there are two layers!”
“No! You’re mixing it up with pseudostratified. L/N-chan, it’s a single layer and-”
“Sensei, tell this idiot-”
“L/N-kun, please don’t call Kuroo-kun an idiot. And Kuroo-kun, unfortunately you are wrong. The image that we are looking at is of stratified columnar epithelium. Pseudostratified epithelium is difficult to distinguish from real stratified epithelium, which is why I explained at the start of the lesson, had you been paying attention instead of ogling L/N-kun you would have heard, that pseudostratified is not necessary for you to identify. So, L/N-kun, you were correct,” your teacher explained.
You smugly glanced towards Kuroo’s gaping face, a blush from embarrassment crawling up his neck. You turned your head back towards the board, a grin plastered on your face. You could feel Kuroo glare at the back of your head, and even more pride swelled through you.
“Nerd,” you heard him whisper in your direction.
You whipped your head back to stare at Kuroo before you spoke. “Oh gosh, please, don’t act as if you didn’t just debate with me about epithelial tissue for five minutes,” you remarked, rolling your eyes.
“My my, L/N-chan, if you hadn’t been so distracting, I would have heard sensei talking about not identifying pseudostratified epithelium. You cheated.” Kuroo explained with a smirk.
“Ha! I cheated? How so? Because I’m just so attractive that you couldn’t pay attention to sensei’s words?” you teased.
“Yes,” Kuroo said, staring straight into your eyes. Had it not been for the obnoxious smirk on his face, you would have believed him. You froze for a second, surprised at his words before you spoke again.
“A very compelling defense, but I’m sorry Kuroo, perhaps I’m just smarter than you,” you shrugged cockily, a teasing smile dancing on your lips.
“So you admit, you’re nerdier than me?”
“So you admit that I’m smarter than you?”
“Don’t go around saying such preposterous nonsense, people would believe it” he said, dramatically looking around the class.
“You’re an insufferable asshole, shut up,” you quipped.
Kuroo gasped theatrically, placing his hand across his heart feigning shock and hurt.
“Oh L/N-chan, such kind words, I think I have cardiac arrhythmia now,”
“I hope your arrhythmia sends you into cardiopulmonary arrest,” you muttered, loud enough for Kuroo to hear. You heard him cackle at your words before he responded.
“You’ll just have to revive me with CPR,”
“I’d let you die,”
~~~
You fell in love with his smile next.
His stupid, obnoxious, trademark grin that he showed off to anyone who dared challenged him, that smirk that ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach. You passed this feeling along as annoyance, but eventually you’d come to understand that it had been infatuation that warmed you inside.
It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. Thinking back to those moments in high school, each teasing remark had been guaranteed with a snarky grin, and you honestly found it endearing.
What had once been a foreign sight, the cocky smirk of Kuroo Tetsurou, had eventually turned into something you looked forward to, a sight that was familiar and comfortable.
But oh, there was one smile, different from the rest of his signature smirks, that had been embedded into your memory, locked away in a file called “things that made you happy” because oh , this smile was different.
It was genuine, missing his usual snark, a wide, beautiful smile that blinded you. Perhaps it was then, when you had seen him show off his real smile, that you begin to play with the idea that maybe, maybe , having feelings for Kuroo wasn’t as far-fetched as you had thought.
Everything had changed that day when he smiled.
What stuck with you that day was the pride you felt you realized you had made him smile and only you had been there to witness it.
~~~
“Are you made up of copper and tellurium, because you’re cute,” Kuroo said, pulling out a chair from the table you were sitting at. You both had decided to meet up in a cafe to work on a project for a class, Kuroo showing up a few minutes later than you both had planned.
“Do you always flirt with every person you lay your eyes on,” you rolled eyes, taking a sip from the tea that you had ordered.
“Only the pretty ones,” he chirped back quickly. You blushed at his words, biting the inside of your cheek before you could embarrass yourself, staring at the textbook ahead of you to avoid Kuroo’s gaze.
“Cat got your tongue L/N?” Kuroo prodded, propping his elbow onto the table and laying his head in hand.
“You’re late,” you had said, deciding to not entertain Kuroo with more teasing remarks as you opened up your laptop.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Practice ran a little longer than I expected,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.
You sighed deeply. Of course you couldn’t be mad at him, you weren’t an asshole. You knew how much volleyball meant to Kuroo and you wouldn’t reprimand him for fulfilling his responsibilities as captain.
“Oh, don’t worry about it! You could have not shown up at all and I would have been content,”
Ah, but of course you were an asshole.
Kuroo snorted at your words as he took out his laptop from his bag.
“You wound me L/N. I think you really underestimate my ability to get work done,”
“I think I underestimate your ability to shut the fuck up,” you murmured into the mug, as you took another sip of tea.
“Break my heart some more, why don’t you?”
“That’s what I’m here for, right? To humble you a little?”
“I’ve got Yaku and Kenma for that. I don’t need a third person hurting my pride,”
“Right, I must thank them for that. I seriously don’t know how Kenma puts up with you and your horrible chemistry pick up lines,”
“I’m an angel, I have no idea what you’re talking about,”
“Mm how do I put this delicately Kuroo… you’re fucking annoying,”
Kuroo paused for a second before he laughed, but it was obviously forced. He offered a tight lipped smile and returned his attention to his laptop.
Your teasing grin turned into a frown and you suddenly felt guilty for being so mean. Something about seeing Kuroo’s fake smile made you feel uneasy. The silence became heavy, almost suffocating.
You nudged Kuroo’s arm with your elbow, grabbing his attention.
“Hey,” you whispered.
Kuroo eyed you curiously before whispering back, “Hey,”
“I- I didn’t mean to sound so mean. I’m really sorry,” you apologized quietly, still feeling a little ashamed for your harsh words.
“Do you hate me?” Kuroo asked suddenly.
Your eyes widened at his words and you began stuttering for a response. “W-what? No! Of course not. I just, I like teasing you and sometimes I say things that are a little out of line and I don’t realize until after I say them. And I’m really sorry that I made you think that I hate you, but I promise that I don’t. I- dare i say it- think of you as a friend,” you said, offering a soft smile.
“You don’t have to apologize. I have a bad habit of pushing people’s buttons without meaning, too, so I understand. But, yea, I’m glad you don’t hate me. I was hoping this friendship wasn’t one-sided and I’m happy to know it isn’t,” Kuroo confessed with a smile.
And suddenly you couldn’t breathe. Because, oh? What was this?
This was not the smile that you were used to. This was not his teasing smirk. No this was something entirely different.
And it was beautiful.
You committed this sight to memory, promising yourself that you would make him smile like this again because it was something you wanted to see more of.
You realized that you had been silent for far too long before you decided to speak again. You cleared your throat and returned your gaze back to your laptop.
“Uh haha, yeah. Anyways I need to ask you something,”
“Sure, what’s up,”
“Are you made up of bismuth, technetium, and hydrogen?”
Kuroo looked a little surprised at the unusual question.
“Am I bis-”
“ ‘cause you’re a bitch,”
~~~
You fell in love with his hands, after.
His hands were rough, yes, but they were warm. And when he held yours in his own, the delicacy of his touch, the gentleness of his actions and the care you felt, made your breath hitch.
His hands made you feel safe and you wanted to hold them forever.
When you first felt his hands among yours, you froze and stared at him, cheeks warm and eyes wide. He hadn’t noticed your reaction, too occupied with the task at hand, but you could see his cheeks redden at the intimacy.
The burning sensation you had felt from the boiling water that spilled on your hand had been replaced with a different burn, the burn of Kuroo’s touch. It felt addicting. Electrifying.
He’d whisper harmless insults about how clumsy you were, murmuring to himself that you were an idiot and that you needed to be careful. You’d known him long enough to translate those words into please be careful next time, I don't like seeing you hurt.
You’d tell him it was nothing, that you could barely feel the sting from the heat, but he’d brush off your words and continue icing your hand. Back then, you’d question his persistence. Now, you’d tease Kuroo for being such a sap.
What you didn’t know then, was that for Kuroo, grabbing your hands had felt like an instinct. He moved before he realized what he was doing and before you knew it, your hands were in his. He had an urge to make sure you were okay, to be by your side when he heard you yelp. There had been no second thoughts when he rushed towards you and encapsulated your hands in his.
For Kuroo, loving you had been instinctual.
~~~
You fell in love with his passion, too.
And then his kindness, his consideration, his thoughtfulness.
You fell in love with his heart.
Falling in love with him wasn’t something that happened over night. It developed over years of endless teasing and an odd friendship. Perhaps in the beginning, you wouldn’t have thought of ever harboring feelings for Kuroo. But there was something fascinating, almost enthralling, about his passion for volleyball, his excitement for science, and his deep love for his friends.
Loving Kuroo was exhilarating.
Kuroo was your home. He was the light of your life, always there to pick you up when you were down. Kuroo was your world. A source of endless warmth and comfort that never failed to make you feel safe.
Everything about Kuroo made you feel whole.
It was his mind that challenged you.
It was his smile that stole your breath.
It was his hands that held you tenderly.
It was his heart that made you feel loved.
You fell in love with Kuroo Tetsurou like it was the most natural thing to do.