Chapter Text
Wade went to this pizza place every Thursday, like every Thursday. Fat Rob (the owner lovingly nicked named by Wade) not only new Wade’s order but also had the order ready at 7:30pm every Thursday without Wade even ordering it anymore.
So, it was safe to say Wade knew this person had never been here at this time on a Thursday before. This ‘hot piece of ass’ – as White calls him and Wade had to agree – by the looks of it had never been here before. He was looking at the old 80’s pizzeria style menu board with such a look of concentration you would think he was making a life or death decision.
“The margherita is amazing, true cheesy heaven I would recommend.”
Wade confidently stated taking a small step closer to the small brunette. The young and gorgeous man turned to face Wade, tilting his head up to make eye contact with the taller man. It was at this moment Wade remembered he was mask-less, only in an over-sized hoodie, his Freddie Kruger face in full view. Wade expected the young man to scream or at least flinch, but he didn’t. There wasn’t even a micro reaction on the man’s face indicating any kind of discomfort. Instead he just pushed up his large brown glasses with an adorable smile.
Wade also angerly noticed he had a cut lip and a bruise near the bottom of his eye socket, the poor kid had clearly been punched in the face.
“Thanks, I was thinking that, but I usually eat like 3 pizzas and I’m not sure what else to get. Like do I want the lot? Or should I get one of their more unique flavours? Because a Mexican pizza does sound good.”
“Wow three pizzas, you could keep up with me. Where does it all go? Mine goes to my amazing muscles and big….”
Wade started, looking the scrawny man up and down now noticing his ass was not the only thing that was fine. And again, Wade was blessed by this young man’s smile before he even finished his joke, both of them laughing.
“Ahh I can admit your muscles clearly out matches my own,” he said shrugging and looking down at his feet still smiling.
“Yeah, but hey you have the whole sexy nerd thing going for you, it is very in right now,"
Wade smirked bending down slightly to try and see the young man’s face again. The sexy nerd boy rubbed his hand on the back of his neck smiling as his raised is eyes to meet Wades, blushing adorably.
“I am going to order my pizza now so… yeah,” he stuttered pointing at the counter. Wade stood a safe distance and overheard the order and eagerly listened as Fat Rob asked for the name for the order. No, it isn’t creepy it’s romantic shut up
.
“Sooo Peter,” Wade said swaying forward slightly, into Peter’s personal space.
"Ah… yeah sorry… yeah … Peter… um. Parker… Peter Parker.”
“OMG. Alliteration buddies this is great! Wade Wilson.”
Peter smiled and shook Wade’s hand, again surprising Wade by not reacting to touching Wade’s skin.
“So … who punched you in the face…? Do I need to beat up some asshole boyfriend?”
Wade grumbled. Peter reached up to touch the bruise under his eye.
“Is that your subtle way to ask me if I date men?”
“Is this your not at all subtle way to distract me from my question?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, but are you ok Peter? I don’t go prying into people’s life a lot, but you seem like a good man, you don’t look at me funny and you have good taste in pizza so I just gotta ask.”
“I like the whole night in shining armour routine, really I do, big turn on, but trust me I am fine. I am a damsel, I am in distress, but I can handle it.”
“Was that a Hercules reference?"
“Yup,”
Peter said loudly popping the P. Ok now Wade definitely had to get this guy’s number. He just admitted that Wade’s behaviour was a turn on and made a Disney reference god this man was perfect. But before Wade could ask, Fat Rob interrupted calling Peter and Wades orders.
Peter grabbed his three-pizza boxes and started to head out.
“Wait baby boy, wanna eat Pizza together? There is a great park bench right around the corner, no bird shit or anything.”
“Baby boy?”
“Yeah, do you not like it?” Wade asked.
Was it too early for nick names? Because Wade had already mentally given Peter twenty.
“No, I love it Red,” Peter laughed, blushing.
“Come on Baby boy. Pizza, you, me at the park. You have already been punched in the face this week so what are you afraid of? Besides you said you can handle yourself…Don’t worry I don’t bite.”
“Pity,”
At this Peter sped up, heading towards the park. Wade had temporally stopped functioning. When Wade exe had rebooted, he caught up to Peter who was smirking merrily.
They reached the aforementioned bench and Wade sat to eat his pizza. Peter perched rather than sat, feet on the seat of the bench and glorious bubble butt (that Wade had definitely been staring at when walking behind Peter), on the back rest.
“So, what is a cute little nerd like you doing getting punched in the face, then eating greasy food with a freaky stranger?”
“Maybe I like to live my life with a little danger?”
Peter said seemingly questioning himself and Wade.
“Or it is just that I am a really good judge of character and I know that you are a good man Wade. Or I just don’t care because it isn’t every day, or ever, that a man as attractive as you flirts with me.”
Wade almost choked on his Pizza.
“Oh, honey you need your prescription checked, I am not a hot man, a hot mess maybe.”
“Wade don’t, I have enough self-esteem issues for the both of us, you look like an extra buff Ryan Reynolds, ok, one with scars but you tell me if you would still think he is hot with scars.”
Wade had nothing to say to this. He would most defiantly still bone Ryan Reynolds if he was scared.
“My real question Wade is, what are you doing asking small nerdy boys with a black eye to eat pizza?”
Peter looked down at Wade defiantly.
“Well one, glasses are totally sexy and no one can change my mind. Two you seem really fucking nice and I have a lot of rage so would love to beat up whoever punched you in the face. And three you made a Disney joke and I am a massive geek and could cum from listening to a hot nerd rant about a nerdy interest.”
Peter swallowed heavily,
“Well Mr Wilson, my glasses are not just for show, I could rant for hours about how the Jedi order was corrupt and caused Anakin’s downfall, or how Spock was definitely gay. But I tend to save the orgasmic nerdy rants for a second date.”
“I will hold you to that Peter."
“Good I like being held to things.”
Again, this small nerd boy had managed to short circuit Wade’s brain. And looked a little too smug doing it. How could this boy say shit like that but also be so obviously shy? He was behaving as if he knew Wade. Honestly this conversation was flowing too easily, Peter was keeping up with Wade’s antics too well.
“Well Wade, I have eaten two and a half of my pizzas and I’m going to take the last half home to have cold for breakfast tomorrow, because cold pizza is my religion."
Peter abruptly stood up and begun walking away.
“See ya around DP,” he said waving a hand over his shoulder.
As Wade watched Peter, or more accurately Peter’s butt disappear into the night, his mind filled with rapid fire thoughts. No not that kind you freaks. Well actually yes, that kind but also not. Wade was 98% sure he never told Peter he was Deadpool, yet Peter had just called him DP, and earlier he called him Red. And why in the world did Peter’s voice and ass seem so familiar to Wade?