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“Don’t make me turn this TARDIS around!” One shouted as his future incarnations squabbled around him.
“He won’t give me back my bow tie!” Eleven whined, pointing at Six, who was looking very smug as he held the blue bow tie just out of Eleven’s reach.
“Hey!” Two yelled as Ten chased Thirteen past him, almost knocking him over. When he steadied himself, he took off after the 2 fleeing Doctors.
“Because running after them fixes everything.” Four commented while rolling his eyes at the 3 of them, then turned back to continue his argument with War.
“Got any fours?” Twelve asked Nine, who sat across the small table from him. Nine smirked, knowing he was about to win. “Go fish.” Twelve pushed all of the cards off the table in anger, making Nine squawk indignantly.
“Children, the lot of you!” One shouted in irritation as Five and Seven insulted each other’s outfits to his left.
Five glared at Seven. “And what about you? I like question marks as much as the next Time Lord, but you look like a knock-off version of the Riddler!” “Like you have much room to talk about outfits, Vegetable Boy!” Seven gestured at Five’s celery with his umbrella.
“Say that again!” Three yelled in Eight’s face. Eight looked bored as he said something in Gallifreyan that made Three look furious.
“You cheated!” Twelve snarled as he and Nine brawled next to the over-turned card table. “I won fair and square!” Nine snarled back, nearly managing to put Twelve in a headlock before Thirteen tripped over her own feet and elbowed Twelve in the forehead on her way down.
“Oi!” Nine yelled when Thirteen tried using him to get back up and ended up pulling him down instead, forcing him to release his hold on Twelve.
“You have your own neck thing!” Eleven whined as he jumped onto Six’s back in an attempt to reach his bow tie. Five shoved Seven, accidentally pushing him into the now-off-balance Six, and all 3 Time Lords went crashing to the floor with a collective yelp.
“No one would ever believe that I’m the youngest one here!” One complained as he watched Eight hit Three in the head with a sonic screwdriver.
Ten and Two ran past where Five was trying to help Six, Seven, and Eleven untangle, and accidentally knocked him onto the pile.
“No running in the TARDIS!” One shouted as Ten and Two passed him. Two stuck his tongue out at One and continued to chase Ten.
“All I’m saying is you’d look better with a scarf than leather!” Four insisted. War crossed his arms. “I LIKE leather. And besides, not all of us want to wear an elongated circus tent around our neck!”
Four went to reply, but never got the chance as Ten slid on the end of his trailing scarf and accidentally tightened it. War hurriedly tried to remove the scarf as it strangled Four, but was knocked over by Two, who hadn’t managed to stop in time.
“Idiots! How did I get so stupid!?” One shouted in irritation when Three fell backwards and pulled a lever on the console on his way down. Eight laughed until Ten accidentally ran into him, pushing him onto Three, making the 2 Time Lords kiss. Eight scrambled backwards while wiping his mouth, and Three looked traumatized.
Twelve and Nine resumed their brawl, accidentally catching poor Thirteen in the middle, and she was unable to escape as she was pinned between the 2 snarling men. Ten sprinted over and tried to pull Twelve away to give Thirteen a chance to escape, but fell backwards dazed when War accidentally elbowed the top of his head.
In a matter of moments, Nine and Twelve’s brawl also included Ten, War, Two, Four, and the still trapped Thirteen.
Eight went to help Three up, but a foot from the tangled pile that was Five, Six, Seven, and Eleven kicked him in the backside and pushed him back onto Three, causing the 2 Time Lords to kiss again. Three shoved Eight away from him, accidentally pushing him into the tangled heap of Time Lords.
Three slowly backed away from the pile, lest he get tangled up too, but backed into the brawl, which he joined after Nine hit him in the head with a banana.
One’s face steadily got redder, until Five’s celery got thrown by someone and hit the side of his face. He threw on the brakes and yelled, “That is quite enough!”
Everyone in the room suddenly stilled, and One glared at all of them accusingly. “This was supposed to be a nice calm trip to Mondas, but I don’t feel like going anywhere with you immature imbeciles!” He yelled at his future regenerations, all of which looked down in various degrees of shame or embarrassment.
“I’m taking the TARDIS back to London, where you will all disembark and go back to your own TARDISes! We will try this again in an hour after you’ve had time to think about your behavior!” One said scathingly.