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"You have to leave right now."
Shouto's eyes are coated in fear as he sees Katsuki standing before him in his driveway, looking so- STOP. He can't get carried away, not here, not now but, he can't help it. Soft, small snowflakes cascade from the grey, winter clouds from above, landing beautifully on his shining blonde hair. He chuckles internally at the sight of seeing Katsuki so bundled up, wearing what he believes to be 4 layers of clothing. As he exhales, a tiny misty breath leaves those tender lips he knows too well. Forcefully looking away, his eyes get caught looking at a familiar red and blue scarf. It was a birthday gift from Midoriya, claiming that it reminded him of Todoroki. The musky red is in beautiful contrast with the striking blue, reminiscent of his respective quirk. Katsuki, upon receiving it, simply grumbled at Midoriya, all while packing the gift away beside him with a subtle blush adorning his skin. A sweet memory soon overshadowed by the intense NEED to get Katsuki far away from here.
"What the fuck? Did your dumbass forget? We're going out today. Why the fuck aren't you ready?" Katsuki's permanent scowl worsened in irritation as he stood there, unmoving, with absolutely no intention of leaving.
He shakes his head, "Please just go." He's leaning somewhat lopsidedly, holding onto the door he pulled into himself. With his other hand, he pinches his inner elbow in an attempt to hide his trembling hands. He bites his inner cheeks until a familiar copper taste arises because it is taking everything NOT to ask Bakugou to take him away. He wants to be anywhere away from home.
And Katsuki would do it. If he was asked to, he would gladly take him anywhere he wished. He would whisk him away on a white horse and run off together with him.
But if he just cracked open the door a bit more, Katsuki would see the result of his father's training. He'd see the burned fabric hanging off his shoulders, the colorful bruises decorating his skin, and the blood dripping from cuts he sustained from being hit too many times. After several years of being subjected to his father's harsh education, he noticed how carefully placed each hit was. He knew where his most tender spots were, knew in which angle to hit him to make him double down in pain. He knew how to bring up the demons that plagued him following the event that gave him his horrific scar.
Shouto had also grown strong, the longer he was subjected to it. He had learned how to tune the sounds that came out of his father's mouth. He had learned how to shut off his mind and grow numb to the hits. He had learned how to school his expression into indifference and become a senseless robot to his father's direction. It got to the point where he would dissociate in the first couple of minutes of his training and wake up, hours later, in his bed all bandaged up. Sometimes he would remember everything that had transpired. Sometimes he would only remember bits and pieces from the few times he felt present in the physical world. Sometimes he would remember nothing at all. It wasn't that he was hit in the head too hard; his father actively avoided damaging him on his face, neck, hands, and feet. His brain in a dissociative episode has made him forget everything that had happened. It was his own method of protecting himself.
But Katsuki, his Katsuki, had broken through the walls he had built. It was terrifying when he first realized just how much Katsuki meant to him. Coming into U.A., making friends was never part of the plan, much less having a boyfriend. With Midoriya having opened his eyes, he was content with what he had. There was no need for relationships, and if his parent's example was anything to go by, he desired it even less. Love is a scary thing. A phrase that was known to be true for all of his life. If loving someone meant suffering through multiple beatings without ever leaving them, he wanted none of it. Love made you vulnerable; it weakened you, caused you to lower your guard and let someone into yourself. No, he wouldn't have any of it. Being with Katsuki further emphasized his fears. Every time he was with him, he would be reminded just how much control Katsuki has over his heart.
But there's another side of love. A warmer, safer side of love. The one he was missing and found only at Katsuki's side. It was the rare moments where he would wake up before him, only feeling the weight of his arm wrapped around his torso and seeing his sleep-softened face in the morning. Love was staring at Katsuki's back as he made him cold soba while grumbling under his breath about how there were much better foods. It was showing his lover a video of a cat with golden, spiky fur and gushing about how he wants to get a cat just like this because it looks so much like Katsuki. Love was waking up from a concurrent nightmare feeling strong arms encasing him in a small protective hold as he shed soft tears into Katsuki's chest. Even in his most vulnerable moments, with Katsuki's moonlight-stricken face hovering above him, kissing him with such passion, he felt safe and loved. Although he didn't care much for it, he always figured sex would be easier to do than being in love. By the looks of it, it's just a physical desire. And that's the thing, that's all it could be if he liked. There was no need to add feelings to it. What he and Katsuki did together wasn't fucking or screwing; they made love to each other. No matter how intense it would get, no matter how many marks and bruises were littered upon his delicate skin, the love never left. They whispered silent promises and private "I love you's" in the depths of the night, securing the words with every kiss exchanged. Katsuki had really redefined everything he thought about love and sex, hadn't he?
''HAH?" Katsuki's confused arch of his eyebrows and the incredulous glint to his stare made Shouto realize that he wasn't going to let this go so soon.
"Katsu, please just go. We can go out another day."
"What the fuck Shouto."
Unbelieving, Shouto tries for a small smile in efforts to convince his boyfriend that he's ok. That's when he feels it, a sharp pain emanating from a spot below his ribs. His face contorts in pain as he groans involuntarily. He doubles over as his hands immediately leave the door, and he places pressure on the affected area. Inhaling a sharp breath, he realizes that he removed his hands off the thing keeping him standing straight while stumbling to regain his balance. He feels Katsuki's hands holding his shoulders in an attempt to steady him when he sees it, the exact moment when he realized maybe things weren't ok with Shouto.
He noticed how Katsuki's permanent scowl morphed into silent gaping with his eyebrows going as high as his forehead. The eyebrows then pinched together as he stood, horrified, helping Shouto regain his footing. By the time the pain dissipated, Katsuki practically had steam coming out of his ears and looked ready to storm into his household.
Fuck.
Almost in slow motion, he sees Katsuki's mouth open, ready to deliver a chain of insults and profanities to his beloved father. Panicking, he extends his hands as if to cover his mouth from the impending doom that was waiting to happen.
"SHOUTO, WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!" He flinches at his father's booming voice as his arms freeze in place. Katsuki's words remain on the tips of his tongue, seeing as Endeavor's voice had startled him.
Shouto can hear it, can FEEL his father's footsteps as he walks in the direction of his front door. And he doesn't know what to do. Katsuki is easily one of the most stubborn people he knows, and he doesn't know how to get rid of him. He has to, he has to, has to get him to leave... but he doesn't know how to. His arms, his body, is completely frozen. His arms begin to tremble as he forces to move something, anything, just to show that he's in control. A slight twitch in his index finger relieves him immensely, proving he's still here. He's most definitely hyperventilating at this point if the sound of his breath is anything to go by. He's frozen in place as the sounds in his ears gradually dissipate, highlighting the thundering footsteps from inside the house. His eyes follow as his sight unfocused, blurring Katsuki's figure. The fear increases tenfold as he hears the footsteps get louder, signifying he's closer and Katsuki still hasn't left.
He doesn't need to look back when his father turns towards the door before snapping out of the daze he had been in earlier. He gives Katsuki a hard push that sends him falling on his ass. I'm sorry, my love. I'll apologize appropriately next time. It'll be worse for both of us should he catch us now and, I want to protect you. Even though you'd probably yell about how you don't need saving, not even from the number 1 hero, I don't want you to get hurt. I'll be ok soon, try not to worry about it too much.
— — —
The only thing Katsuki felt was a throbbing pain coming from his ass. Fucking dammit, Shouto. Before he could voice his complaints, he freezes. He's never once seen him that... terrified? No, that wasn't the right word. He couldn't find one that could describe what Shouto had looked like before slamming the door. Earlier, he clearly had a panic attack. The way he struggled to catch his breath, the way his eyes glassed over... But at an alarming speed, his face changed. In mere milliseconds, he found himself thrown on the floor. His eyes shot up in annoyance, but right when he was going to remark back, he froze.
He always has something to say, especially if he had been rudely fucking pushed. But the words he had meant to spit out were trapped in the back of his throat. He had been left there gaping as he saw Shouto closing the door. It was something about how dark the house looked at that moment... god, he doesn't even know how to fucking explain it. He remembered vividly seeing as the shadows danced on Shouto's body, nipping at his feet and sides, almost as if the darkness was consuming him. And Shouto... was letting it happen. He was willingly going back in there. He had to do something; he couldn't let his light be dimmed, but then why couldn't he fucking move? He just remained seated on the floor as he observed in horror as the darkness chipped away at his torso, neck, face... until he was left looking into his troubled eyes. Sure, they haven't been dating for long, but he knew what this look meant.
He's shutting me out.
Following a door slam, Endeavor's voice broke whatever frozen spell Katsuki seemed under. He was loud and could clearly hear the irritation laced in his voice. Shouto's, on the other hand, was unsettling. It was monotone, almost robotic. It reminded him of who he was when they first met in U.A. The boy who was so determined not to make any friends, the boy who swore to never use his fire.
Fuck. Why the hell didn't he say anything? Why the fuck did he freeze? Even now, he can't seem to stand up. FUCK. He has to. He HAS to. Stand up and just walk to his door, maybe kick that shit down. Explode his front door and just take him away from the asshole who torments Shouto like that. But he can't. Now that he's brought back to his reality, every muscle in his body is urging him to do it. And he fucking would. But whenever he makes an effort to just go, it's Shouto who stops him. As Shouto closed the door, he was almost begging with his eyes not to follow him.
So he sat there, freezing his ass off, not wanting to leave him. He sat and tried his hardest to focus on sounds made by Shouto. His voice, his footsteps... Although they were overshadowed by his asshole of a father, he still tried. When the conversation stopped, he was left sitting in the cold as he listened to Shouto's footsteps get further and further away from him.