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Renjun lays on his back in the middle of his bed, eyes closed, earbuds playing melodies. He’s currently fighting his urge to sleep and miserably failing. He really should have slept earlier the night before. He slowly opens his eyes to a knock. His door opens to reveal a smiley Donghyuck.
“What do you want?” he drawls.
“Wow Junnie~,” Donghyuck whines. “You don’t care me at all, do you?” He pouts. Donghyuck waits for Renjun’s defense that never comes. He rolls his eyes. “Anyways, I’m here because guess what I scored,” Donghyuck waves a bag in his hand.
Renjun’s eyes widen at that. He sits straight up. “No way! You didn’t. Bro those are so expensive! How?”
Donghyuck just smiles. “I have my ways,” he says with a wink.
“Let’s play a game,” Renjun returns the smile.
The pair wrestle over who gets to be player one. Then they argue over which game they’ll play first. Then they argue over which characters they get to play and which ones are off limits because they’re ‘too op’. They end up playing on the console for hours, late into the night. Renjun’s mom checks in on them occasionally, always bringing food and drinks. The boys tire of their games as the moon settles in the middle of the sky. They stay up late, talking about their lives, about their future.
“Where do you think you’ll go once we graduate?” Donghyuck has taken over the bed, sprawled across the entire mattress.
“Mmm. I don’t know yet. I just want to leave here. Get away, get out, you know?” Renjun answers from on top of Donghyuck’s back.
”You’re always so against staying here. It’s great here. I mean curfew sucks but it’s bearable.”
“Ugh. Curfew really sucks, bro. Especially when you get caught outside of home.”
“I know. Sleeping in the dorms at work is the worst. I’ve, unfortunately, had the opportunity of getting closer to lots of people like that.”
Renjun grimaces. “Remember when the book club went way over time? I hated having to sleep over at school. That sucked ass.”
Donghyuck’s body vibrates with laughter at the memory. “Yeah, man. It did suck. But like, remember when we found that secret room? That was pretty chill.”
“Yeah.” Renjun snickers, “I skipped class in that room so many times.”
“You? Oh my god. The Huang Renjun. The glorious A+ ‘Star Student’ Huang Renjun skipped class? Wow. This must be a dream.”
Renjun slaps Donghyuck’s ass. “Shut up, dumbass. You know I cheated like everyday in math. So, don’t act so surprised about me skipping.”
“But that’s understandable! Math fucking sucks. It’s dumb and there’s like no reason for that much work for that class. Everyone cheated. But skipping? You? Skipping? What a miracle. I really thought you were a robot or something.”
Donghyuck laughs as he’s futilely attacked by a pillow-wielding Renjun.
Renjun sighs as he tires. “Where are you going to go?”
“Me? Hmm. Probably just upstate. That college is pretty neat. Not too far from home but also far enough for me to feel independent, you know?”
“‘Pretty neat’ huh?” That earns him a weak smack. “But yeah. Makes sense. To answer your question: I want to go out of the country. Or at least somewhere near the ocean.”
“Out of the country? I knew you wanted to go far but I thought you meant just out of the district or something. What will I do if you’re so far away? No one else here is interesting.” A pout finds its way back on Donghyuck’s face.
Renjun rolls on his side, facing Donghyuck’s head. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else. I just can’t see myself making a life for myself here.”
Donghyuck nods in understanding. “Well we still have next semester and the summer! Let’s make sure we’ll never forget about each other.” Donghyuck flips over onto his back, nearly tossing Renjun off the bed. He offers his pinky to Renjun. Sad eyes meet sad eyes. “Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
Renjun wakes up like he always does when Donghyuck sleeps over. Renjun has been somehow pushed to the edge of his bed and accompanied by a very sprawled out, drooly Donghyuck. Renjun distinctly remembers shoving Donghyuck off of his bed and making him sleep on the floor before trying to catch some shut eye. Yet, here he is. Donghyuck. On Renjun’s bed. Like he owns it.
“Ugh. This bitch,” Renjun says as he gets out of bed. Renjun didn’t struggle to get out of his sheets for once because Donghyuck stole them all! Anyways, his house, his bed, his rules.
“Let’s see how he likes this,” Renjun says before grabbing the spray bottle from his bathroom.
Upon his return, he sees Donghyuck peacefully sleeping, huddled under the mound of covers. “Those are my covers, my blankets, my bed. I shall take back what is mine!” Renjun announces before mercilessly spraying Donghyuck’s face with water.
Donghyuck startles out of his sleep. “Bitch! Stop!” He blindly reaches out to attack Renjun. “I’m going to fucking melt. Stop.” Renjun’s laughter fills the air.
The bed bounces as he jumps down to sit. “You’re going to melt? Are you a witch now?” He raises an eyebrow and waits for Donghyuck to look at him before spraying him again.
“You know what? I’m going back to sleep. You can go fuck yourself.” Donghyuck buries himself back under the covers only to get shoved off the bed by Renjun. The resounding thump is satisfying enough to Renjun.
“Mom probably made breakfast by now. Wanna head down?”
“No. I wanna sleep,” Donghyuck says, muffled by the floor.
“Ok, your loss.” Renjun stands on the bed and jumps off. He opens the door and looks back to be greeted by Donghyuck’s bed head slowly approaching him. He rolls his eyes and opens the door more to let Donghyuck leave first.
“Good morning Mama Huang!” Donghyuck yawns. “How’d you sleep?”
“I slept just fine. What about you, Donghyuck?”
“Oh my sleep was marvelous until your son decided to splash water on my face and shove me off the bed.”
“You aren’t supposed to be on my bed.”
“Why not? Your floor isn’t very comfortable. You should take more measures to accommodate and take care of your guests.”
“You aren’t a guest, you’re a parasite.”
Donghyuck gasps, slapping a hand to his heart. “I’m wounded. I would never think of you like that!” He turns to look at Renjun’s mom. “Your son has become a monster.”
Renjun’s mom just lets out a small laugh. “Yes, quite a monster, isn’t he. My little Renjun is a lil monster isn’t he,” she coos.
“Mom, stop,” Renjun whines. Donghyuck sits back, enjoying the embarrassment he’s putting Renjun through.
“You boys eat up. You’re going to need the energy for the day.” Renjun’s mom finishes cleaning up and heads out of the kitchen.
“Mom, where are you going?”
“I got called into work. I’ll be back before 5.”
“Oh, ok. Be careful.”
Renjun’s mom pulls him close to give him a kiss on his forehead. “I will. Don’t worry.” She looks at Donghyuck. “You both take care of yourselves, ok? Don’t be stupid.”
“We’ll be super careful, Mama Huang. I’ll keep your son out of trouble.”
She makes her way towards Donghyuck to give him a hug. “Alright. I’ll be off. There’s leftovers in the fridge. See you soon.” With that, the pair are left alone.
Renjun sits to start eating his breakfast. He can feel a pair of eyes watch him as he eats.
“Yes?” He looks up to stare back at Donghyuck.
The latter cracks a smile, “Let’s go do something today.”
“Oh yeah of course. Why didn’t I think of that. I was just going to do nothing and just disassociate all day.”
“I mean, that’s definitely a way to spend the day but I meant that we could maybe go down to the boardwalk or something.” Donghyuck shies away from Renjun’s gaze.
Is he hinting at something? What does he want? Renjun's eyes narrow as he thinks. “Oh!” he snaps his fingers. “It’s that one carnival thingy today, right?”
Donghyuck’s eyes light up. “Yes! I was worried you forgot,” he says as he scratches the back of his head.
“Well, I didn’t, so. Did you want to go now? Is it even open right now?”
“It opens at noon so we have a little bit of time before we need to leave.”
“Oh good. I can eat then,” Renjun says while stuffing his face. He looks up after a few bites to be met with a small smile. “Eat before your food goes bad,” he tells Donghyuck. The latter complies.
The pair take turns using the shower, despite Donghyuck’s suggestive “Let’s shower together to save water” which resulted in Renjun slapping his arm. Donghyuck borrows some of Renjun’s oversized clothes and steals some of his eyeliner and mascara when he isn't looking. Once Renjun finishes styling his hair, he grabs his glasses and leads the pair out of the house. After locking up, the two set off towards the boardwalk.
The walk to the carnival is short. The pair cut through the woods, Donghyuck picking up random sticks while Renjun tells him to put the sticks down. They jump from exposed root to exposed root, pretending the ground was lava.
“Ok, but if the ground was actually lava, we’d be dead,” Donghyuck points out.
“Ok, but I didn’t ask you did I?” Renjun jumps and lands on another root. Donghyuck is quick to follow, but loses his balance and steps off the root. “Ha! You lose. Now you’ve gotta carry me the rest of the way to the carnival.”
“What? Why? We never set any rules or bets.”
“There are always bets. Now carry me,” Renjun says as he sticks his arms out. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and approaches Renjun. That’s how Renjun arrived at the carnival on Donghyuck’s back.
The carnival was packed with people. There were kids running around and parents trying to keep track of their kids. There were groups of friends walking around, figuring out which activities to participate in. Donghyuck reaches into his back pocket as he approaches the entrance.
“Anything pique your interest?” Donghyuck asks as he hands the attendant their admission tickets and buys some coins to play the games at the stands.
“The cotton candy.”
Donghyuck shakes his head as he laughs. “Always the sugar, huh,” he mumbles. “Alright. Off. You now have to walk on your own two legs.”
“Wait! No, no, noooooo. Donghyuck, why,” Renjun whines as he’s forced to dismount.
“Because you have your own legs.”
“No, it's because you’re weak.”
“Well, yeah, that too.” Donghyuck looks down to look at Renjun’s face. “Well? Want to go get some cotton candy?”
Renjun sprints in lieu of answering.
Donghyuck follows Renjun to the cotton candy stand. He watches Renjun excitedly wait in line to get his cotton candy. Renjun’s focus keeps shifting between the cotton candy stand, Donghyuck, and the other stands in the area. When they get to the front of the line, Donghyuck buys them some pink and blue cotton candy in a tub, which Renjun quickly steals from Donghyuck’s grasp.
“Now where?” Donghyuck asks as Renjun inhales the sugary cloud.
Renjun just points at one of the water games as he licks the melty sugar strings off his hand. The pair head off to their next stands, guided by Renjun’s excitement. That’s how Donghyuck has found himself all smiley, face painted, film strips in one hand, the third tub of cotton candy in the other, watching Renjun struggle to hug the huge stuffed animals to his chest. Small smiles find their way between the pair.
“Alright. I think that’s enough. Let’s go home before Mom freaks out,” Renjun says, muffled by the giant teddy bear he’s holding.
“First one back gets to be player one?” Donghyuck quirks an eyebrow.
“Alright. Bet.” And the two are off, sprinting back home.
Renjun finds himself laying on his bed once again. Giant bear sitting on the floor next to his TV, video games idle. The shower runs in the background as he scrolls through his phone. He plays some R&B through his speakers while he waits for his best friend to finish washing up. His eyes close and his mind replays the events of the day. A small smile creeps its way on his face. When he opens them, a towel-dried Donghyuck in sweatpants appears. The latter enters the room, tugging a hoodie over his shoulders. Renjun sighs.
Donghyuck shoots Renjun a smirk. He walks over to the bed with his hair disheveled, covering his eyes. His mouth forms a smile which grows the closer he gets to Renjun. Renjun feels his heart race as Donghyuck approaches. Once Donghyuck reaches the edge of the bed, he jumps.
“Hyuck! Dongh- LEE DONGHYUCK GET OFF OF ME!’ Laughter fills the room as Donghyuck mercilessly tickles Renjun. “Hy- Hyuck. Stop. I can’t breathe.” Renjun tries to pry Donghyuck’s hands away from his sides. Instead, Donghyuck smooths his hands over Renjuns sides. He sits back on Renjun’s legs, watching as Renjun closes his eyes and tries to catch his breath.
“Renjun.”
“What.” No malice.
“What if I said I liked you?”
“You’re such a fucking dumbass.” Renjun tugs at his hair before looking at Donghyuck sitting on his lap.
Renjun pulls Donghyuck down by his nape and kisses him. Donghyuck smiles into the kiss. He props his arms on either side of Renjun’s head and gently lowers himself to lay flush against Renjun’s body, deepening the kiss in the process. He licks into Renjun’s mouth, eliciting pleased noises from the smaller. His tongue grazes against Renjuns, sending shocks down his spine. The hand in his hair keeps him close and the hand up his hoodie maps his body. Renjun is relentless as he sucks on Donghyuck’s tongue, then his bottom lip, then back to kissing him. Donghyuck kisses Renjun back with the same fervor, hands running up and down his sides and he melts Renjun into the sheets. Small whines and gasps fill the room as the two fall more and more into each other.
Donghyuck nips at Renjun’s bottom lip a few times before pulling away, spit strings connecting the two, trying to pull Donghyuck back in. He swallows and bites his lip as he stares at Renjun’s kiss-swollen lips, pouting, begging to be kissed again. Instead, he reaches over to grab his phone. “It’s almost 5:00. Have you heard from your mom yet?” Donghyuck is mildly surprised at the husky edge his voice has gained.
Renjun rummages through the sheets without breaking eye contact with Donghyuck. When he finds his phone, he lights up the screen and glances at it before looking back at Donghyuck. “No. She hasn’t said anything. Maybe she’s just running late? She’ll probably end up staying over tonight.”
Hands tug at the back of Donghyuck’s head, pulling him so that his forehead touches his boyfriend’s. “You should call her,” Donghyuck whispers. Renjun relishes how Donghyuck’s voice dropped a few pitches.
“She’s probably just running late, right?”
“She usually calls whenever she runs late.”
“Yeah, she does,” Renjun sighs, slightly worried. “I’ll call her. But you’ve gotta lay down with me.”
“Happy to comply.” Donghyuck leaves one more kiss on Renjun’s lips then smiles and buries his head into the crook of Renjun’s neck. An arm wraps tightly around Donghyuck’s waist, keeping him close.
“She hasn’t picked up. At all. I’ve called her like, how many times? Five? Oh my god, oh my god.” Renjun paces around in his room, worry knitted on his face. “What if something happened to her? What if she got caught, too? What if I never see her again? Oh my god.”
Renjun breaks out into tears when he feels Donghyuck wrap his arms around him. “She’s going to be ok. She probably just got caught up. Why don’t we call her boss? Maybe she knows where your mom is,” Donghyuck soothes. Renjun had worked himself up into a panic and now it’s Donghyuck’s job to get him down.
“Ok,” Renjun sniffles. “Ok. Let’s do that.”
Shaky fingers tap on the keypad and then the sound of the phone dialing fills the room. Renjun puts the phone to his ear. “Hello? Yes, this is Jieun’s son, Renjun.” Donghyuck hugs his boyfriend tighter. “Oh, ok. Thank you. Yes, I will. You too, Mrs. Suh.” Renjun looks up at Donghyuck.
“So?”
“She’s on her way here. I just hope she hurries. I don’t want anything to happen.”
“Yea, me neither,” Donghyuck says as he guides Renjun down to sit. “I’ll go get you some water, ok? Just sit tight for me.”
Renjun weakly nods.
The soft click is all Renjun needs to break. Not that he was put together before, but now? He collapses back, slightly relieved but mostly worried. His hands haven’t stopped shaking since Donghyuck brought up his mom being later than usual. Seconds last hours as Renjun tries to regain a steady heartbeat. Tears continue to race down his cheeks, creating damp spots on his sheets. His head thrums along with the pulse in his ears, eyes focusing and unfocusing. He swallows dry. He closes his eyes only to open them immediately, fearful of the images his brain presents him. With the buzz in his ears the only thing accompanying him and his thoughts, Renjun walks further and further down the path of his nightmares.
What if she ends up like Dejun? What if she disappears and no one goes looking for her except Renjun? What if she ends up like all the others who went missing in the night? What if she gets caught or lost? If she doesn’t get home soon he might never see her again. And no one would try to help him find her.
Renjun’s heart jumps to his throat when he feels the bed dip next to him. He tries to get up and run or fight or do something, but finds himself against a warm chest.
“Hey, hey. It’s just me. Breathe for me, babe. It’s just me,” Donghyuck’s calming voice slowly breaks through to Renjun.
“I’m sorry,” Renjun whispers, barely audible.
“It’s ok. I got you some water.” Donghyuck guides Renjun to sit on the bed again. Renjun doesn’t miss the worry swimming in Donghyuck’s eyes as he takes the water from him.
Deafening silence fills the room. Renjun timidly sips at his water as Donghyuck runs his hand up and down his back. Donghyuck’s gaze burns into him. He feels like he’s being torn apart, piece by piece, only to reveal a stronger wall behind the last. Renjun drinks the last bit of water and sets the glass on the ground.
Silence is occasionally accompanied by small hiccups and sniffles. Donghyuck holds onto his boyfriend’s hand for dear life. His mouth opens and closes, trying to find words but coming up with none. Worry has etched into his whole being. Renjun can feel how tense he is even though they aren’t touching.
Renjun looks up and makes eye contact. Renjun’s heart breaks a little bit more.
“Wanna talk about it?” Donghyuck says, words softened with worry.
Renjun clenches his jaw. He itches to push Donghyuck down and just cuddle with him. He craves to have his skin littered in kisses. His heart hurts with the decision. It should be easy. He should just be able to tell Donghyuck. He trusts him with his life. He loves him with his whole being. Maybe that’s why he wants to spare him. Maybe that’s why he’s so scared to tell him. But maybe, just maybe, he should.
“Do you remember Dejun?”
Donghyuck’s brows furrow. “No, should I?”
“I don’t know if you ever knew him. I knew him long before I met you. He was one of my best friends when I was in elementary school.” Renjun scratches his head. “I don’t remember much more about him other than that, actually.” A small laugh. “He was out late once. I think he was chasing bugs or something. His parents were panicking and yelling from their porch. I was going to go out and try to find him but Mom made me stay inside. There was this awful screeching and then, and then,” Renjun’s eyebrows furrow as he struggles to remember. “I’m not sure. But I just remember waking up and everyone being sad and planning a search and rescue but it never happened.”
“They never looked for him?”
Renjun shakes his head. “I tried asking Mom about it but she didn’t know anything about it and I thought it was too insensitive to ask directly.”
Donghyuck chews the inside of his cheek. “So, you’re worried your mom is going to disappear too? Because I’m sure it won’t happen. If I don’t remember this kid- Dejun going missing then it must not happen too frequently.”
“But it does.”
Donghyuck looks into Renjun’s wide eyes. “What do you mean?”
“People go missing all the time. Do you remember Jeno? Or Jaemin? Or Taeil?”
Donghyuck shakes his head. Worry blurs into confusion then back into worry.
“Are you ok?”
“Am I ok? Are you ok? Bro, Jeno went missing like seven-ish months ago. This time people actually went out to look for him but they stopped after a week or so. We had gotten really close like a couple days after he went missing. You were with me when I was crying about it. Do you really not remember?”
“No, I’m sorry.”
Renjun stares down at their entwined hands. Why doesn’t Donghyuck remember? Wait- does anyone remember? Mom didn’t remember Dejun or at least she didn’t know anything about him. Everyone didn’t bring up the search and rescue after. Maybe they gave up? But Dejun’s parents wouldn’t do that. Would they? But then there’s Jeno. Donghyuck forgot. Mom didn’t say anything about it. They searched for a week then just stopped. Maybe they gave up too? Or, did they forget? But how?
“It doesn’t make sense,” Renjun whispers.
“Does your mom remember? Or anyone else?”
“I don’t know. I stopped asking Mom about it a long time ago. And I don’t ask other people about it. Seems insensitive, you know?”
Donghyuck nods. “Maybe if you tell me more I’ll start to remember? I don’t- I don’t know what’s going on. And like, if you’re the only one to remember and all, maybe you- I don’t know. Nevermind.”
“No. I get it. Maybe I am just crazy or something but, it feels so real? I know that you knew about Jaemin. You had to. We hung out all the time. We used to go to the willow tree all the time. Do you remember him?”
“No, I don’t. But is that why you stopped wanting to go there?”
A small nod.
“If you remember all these things. All these people who’ve gone missing, how are you so? Together? I guess?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just used to it. I used to cry all the time. With Dejun I didn’t really understand what happened until much later. But then it kept happening. It started to finally click when my favorite teacher, Mrs. Kim, went missing. I remember crying about her for ages.” Renjun blinks as he thinks. “I think Mom just thought I was stressed or something because I didn’t have a teacher.”
“Ok. I remember that. I thought they just overlooked having a teacher for us.”
“But how did that make sense? She disappeared during winter break.”
“I don’t know. But it was the only logical thing. I don’t remember having a teacher for that class before winter break.”
A long silence settles between the two. Renjun sits on the fence between stopping in his tracks or continue trying to find answers. Donghyuck sits trying to process the new information. Renjun looks over at Donghyuck. “Do you know why there’s a curfew?”
Donghyuck shakes his head.
“It’s because whoever- whatever is taking these people always does it at night,” Renjun pauses. “Not like anyone remembers.”
“No offense, but how do you know that? How do you know that curfew is because of these ‘disappearing people’. Maybe they’re just leaving? Do you really think something is causing these people to disappear.”
“I mean if they’re just leaving then how does that explain everyone forgetting? How does that explain the young ones? How does that explain Dejun?”
“I don’t know.”
“Plus, it's the only thing that makes sense. Why else would we have curfew? There’s like, no other reason. You didn’t have a curfew before you moved here, right?”
“Right.” Donghyuck sighs.
Silence falls between the two. Renjun’s palms feel sweaty. He lets go of Donghyuck to wipe them on his pants. He feels Donghyuck’s gaze on him again.
“If you don’t believe me, I get it.”
“I just-”
“I know. I must sound crazy. All of this is based on me. There’s hardly any evidence.”
“It’s a lot to take in, but-”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worried you so much. This is just stupid. I’m probably just seeing things or something. I should go to a doctor or something. I don’t know.”
Renjun’s rambling is cut short by Donghyuck grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. “Stop. I believe you, ok? I don’t know what’s going on but I’ve always had a weird feeling about this place. It’s a lot to take in but I don’t think you’re crazy. At least not that much.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m entirely sure. Maybe tomorrow we can go, I don’t know, research this or something? If we have a curfew in place because of this, then someone has to know, right?”
“Right.” Renjun looks at Donghyuck until their eyes meet. “Thank you.”
Donghyuck leans in and gives him a kiss. “You’re welcome.” He pulls back with a soft smile.
The door opens to reveal the long awaited being.
“Mom!” Renjun rushes to hug her. “I was so worried. Why didn’t you call?”
“Sorry, I got caught up. I didn’t realize the time, but I’m here now.” She looks over at Donghyuck standing in the back. “I trust you took care of my son?”
“I did, Mama Huang.” A small smirk finds its way on his face.
“Sorry I took so long. I should’ve gotten home sooner so you could’ve gotten back home.”
“Oh no, it’s ok Mama Huang. I’m happy to stay over another night.”
“Mhm. I’m sure you are.” She looks at the two boys fondly. “Well, I’m going to go wash up then sleep. Don’t stay up too long.”
“We won’t, Mom. Goodnight. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She pinches Renjun’s cheek and nods to Donghyuck before disappearing down the hall to her room.
“So? What did you want to do,” Renjun purses his lips.
“Oh, I have a few ideas,” Donghyuck says as he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Oh my god.” The boys break into a fit of laughter.
“Where should we start?” Renjun walks through the city, hand in hand with his boyfriend.
“Did you want to start at the school? That should cover a lot of bases since most of the people you mentioned went there.”
“True. If they don’t remember the people, there should still be files on them, right? Cuz they existed but just didn’t exist .”
Renjun looks up at Donghyuck. He didn’t even brush his hair this morning.
Donghyuck had woken up Renjun by jumping on him and littering his neck with kisses. A pleasant awakening until Donghyuck splashed water on his face. Renjun, in turn, jumped out of bed and ran after Donghyuck. He had managed to pin the taller to the wall in the kitchen when his mom walked in. Donghyuck laughed so hard he shook the wall as Renjun tried to find the fastest way to bury himself. The rest of the morning went smoothly. The two set out on an adventure, hoping to find answers.
The pair arrive at the school. There were a few cars in the lot, otherwise it was completely empty. Donghyuck opened the door and nodded for Renjun to go in. Nostalgia flooded Renjun’s senses as he stepped into the small school. His feet carried him to the office while his mind wandered through the countless memories he made here.
“Hello? How may I help you?” One of the ladies in the office asked when they stepped inside.
“Hi, we were wondering if you had an old yearbook? We used to go here and wanted to compare pictures of us when we were younger but lost our yearbook.” Renjun looks at Donghyuck, surprised at how well he lied. Well, mostly lied anyways. Neither of them had yearbooks. Renjuns long gone in a time capsule somewhere in the woods and Donghyuck never went to Renjun’s elementary school.
“Oh! Well, um. We have some in the back, if you’re willing to wait. What year did you guys go here?”
“2005-2011,” Renjun answers.
The pair are directed to sit as they wait. “That was easy,” Donghyuck says under his breath.
“Yeah, I was expecting more of an identification process or something.”
“Same.”
After a few minutes, the office lady emerges with some books in her hands. “Here you are! These are the yearbooks from 2005-2011. Feel free to take these with you. Just return them by the end of the week.”
“Oh ok! Thank you so much.” Renjun shoots her one of his best smiles then the pair exit.
Donghyuck led them to a local cafe. Renjun waits at one of the outside tables while Donghyuck orders them drinks.
“Ok. Who are we looking for first?” Donghyuck asks upon returning.
“Hm. Maybe Dejun? He went missing the summer after he turned 5 so he should be in the 2005 one.”
“Ok. Let’s take a look.” Donghyuck opens the old book to reveal the kindergarten class. “What was his last name? Wait, nevermind. There’s only one Dejun. Was this him?”
“Yes! It’s him,” Renjun’s excitement, albeit slightly misplaced, gave the pair hope.
“Great. Who’s next?”
They look through the yearbooks looking for the missing kids. Renjun gets excited after they verify each kid’s existence, but belatedly realizes that these kids used to exist. They used to have people who remembered them. But now, he was the only one who knew their names.
Donghyuck focuses intently on reading through the names on the panels of each page, trying to help Renjun as much as he can. Renjun stares at him. How can he believe him so quickly? How can he be so helpful and understanding? Last time Renjun had said anything about the missing people, it ended badly. Jaemin had been the first and only - at least until Donghyuck - person Renjun told about the disappearances. Jaemin had told him he was crazy and was going to prove him wrong. Jaemin was going to show Renjun that there was nothing to worry about. Jaemin camped outside for an entire night. He showed up the next day to tell Renjun that everything was ok. That he was just imagining things. Renjun felt a bit relieved until he heard the screeching that night. He never saw Jaemin again.
Renjun’s eyes are met with another pair. Donghyuck arches a brow. “Is there something on my face?”
“What? Oh, um, no, there’s nothing.”
“You ok? Did you find anyone else?”
Renjun shakes his head. “No. Just the ones I’ve already told you about.”
“Ok. That’s good, then? Since we’ve only found a handful. Or rather, you only remember a handful of kids. So maybe that means that there aren’t that many kids disappearing? I know we haven’t touched on adults yet but, yeah,” Donghyuck cuts himself off. Sadness fills his eyes. “I know it doesn’t matter because I probably wouldn’t be able to remember these kids anyways but, I wish I had known them. They had whole futures ahead of them yet, their lives were cut short. Unless. Do you think they’re still alive? Would it be better if they were still alive?”
“I don’t know. I think it would be ok if they were still alive. As long as they didn’t know that everyone else had forgotten about them, you know. They’d still have hope of getting back home. Or maybe they forgot too and are now living great lives. And everyone wins.”
“Except you.”
Renjun looks up and meets Donghyuck’s eyes. “It’s ok. That’s why we’re doing this. If I get closure, then I’ll win too.” Another sad smile.
They make it home safely. Renjun collapses on his bed leaving Donghyuck on a mission to get food. Renjun stares at his ceiling. The day had been rather uneventful other than confirming that these people did actually, in fact, exist. The boys had left the cafe stuck on the fence between being disheartened and hopeful. On one hand, everyone who had disappeared may very well be alive and ok but that brings up so many questions. On the other hand, they may as well have all been killed, brutally or not. In both senses, it may be best that everyone has forgotten about them. But imagine being forgotten. Renjun’s heart tugs at the thought.
“Room service~,” Donghyuck enters with his arms full of food.
“Mmm, smells yummy.”
The two sit on the floor and start eating. “Do you think you’ll tell your mom?”
“Mom? Probably not. She doesn’t need that. Lots of her friends have disappeared. I don’t know how she’ll react.”
“What about me? Do you know if anyone I was friends with disappeared?”
“There was one. His name was Mark. You guys used to hang out together all the time. Were like the popular jocks and stuff.”
“Oh. What was he like?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t like me much. He might’ve been a good guy but just never acted like that around me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
Renjun’s head shoots up. “Why? There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“Well if I was friends with this Mark kid, I should’ve stopped him from being mean to you.”
“He- he wasn’t bad. He just didn’t particularly like me. He wouldn’t go out of his way to hurt me but wouldn’t help me either. He didn’t bother me much unless I was in his way.”
“I still feel bad.”
“We barely knew each other back then, Hyuck. Actually, if it weren’t for him, we probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now.”
Confusion finds itself on Donghyuck’s face once again. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Renjun sighs. “When he went missing, you were a wreck. You stopped showing up to class to go look for him. I stopped you one day and you told me that you weren’t going to stop, so I went with you. We got close because of that. Then you forgot everything.” Renjun starts getting confused. “You forgot about me, too. At least you didn’t recognize me. I thought it was just because you didn’t want to be seen with me, but, do you remember when we went to the lake the first time?”
“You mean our first date?”
“No, before that.” Renjun sighs. “You probably don’t remember anything that happened that week. Do you remember anything before then?”
“Yeah. I remember the city and I remember moving out. I remember meeting you at the park.”
Renjun runs his hands through his hair. “What is going on.”
Their eyes meet again, Donghyuck’s filled with determination and Renjun’s filled with hope. “We’ll figure it out, together.”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
The pair help clean up the dishes and put everything away after they eat. Renjun grabs Donghyuck’s laundry from the dryer and leaves Donghyuck to change.
“Well, I’ll be taking my leave for the day.”
“Call when you get home, ok?” Renjun holds onto Donghyuck’s arms.
Donghyuck places a small kiss on Renjun’s lips. “I will, don’t worry.”
“Donghyuck! You’re more than welcome to stay over for a while longer. I don’t mind having you here.”
“It’s ok Mama Huang. I should really be getting home. I have to clean the place, anyways.”
“Hm. Ok. Only if you’re sure. You’re always welcome here.”
“Thank you Mama Huang,” Donghyuck sends her a bright smile. “I’m glad to be welcomed.”
Donghyuck turns back to Renjun and gives him another kiss. “I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time we go out we can go grab that ice cream you love.”
Renjun’s eyes light up. “Really? Oh my god, yes. Let’s do that.”
With one last kiss and a small wave, Donghyuck sets off to his apartment.
Donghyuck sits on the roof of his apartment building. “God, Renjun’s gonna kill me.”
He lays back and looks up at the sky. He looks left and sees the sun set and watches the stars rise when he looks right. He envies the sun for being able to leave this place, even if only for a moment. He feels the night chill settle over the neighborhood. The air becomes heavy, suffocating. He closes his eyes as the darkness floods his senses. Goosebumps cover his skin as the velvet night covers him. When he opens his eyes he’s greeted by a crooked grin and wide eyes.
“Hello, Mark.”
“Long time, no see.”
Renjun wakes up in a cold sweat. He reaches over to his nightstand and grabs his phone. Lighting the screen, he pouts at the lack of texts. He sits up and grimaces. His stomach is in knots and his mind fuzzy. He runs a hand through his hair before getting up to go shower. Once freshly showered and changed into clean clothes, he heads down to the kitchen.
“Good morning! How’d you sleep?” his mom greets him cheerily.
He shrugs. “Ok, I guess.”
His mom stares at him for a moment. “Are you ok? What’s wrong?”
What is wrong? 1t’s not like Donghyuck is obligated to text him but, it’s so out of character. Renjun woke up with such an odd feeling, like everything had shifted. Everything felt off. He looks up at his mom. What would he even say? Should he just start from the beginning? Or just tell her about Donghyuck. She’d probably think he’s being overdramatic. But if he gets into why he’s so worried about Donghyuck she might overreact. What if he’s just overreacting? What if he’s just being delusional. What if-
“Renjun,” his mom waves a hand in front of his face, interrupting his thoughts.
“Oh, sorry. Um,” he swallows. “Do you- do you remember Dejun?”
“I’m sorry, who?” Her eyes widen with worry.
Renjun shakes his head. “You don’t remember anyone who’s gone missing, do you?”
“What do you mean missing?”
“Nevermind.” He turns to leave.
“Renjun, where are you going?”
“To find Donghyuck.” With that, he leaves.
“Donghyuck! Donghyuck, open up!” Renjun bangs on the door. He lets out a breath. “He’s not here, is he?” He lets his hand fall. He stares at the floor.
Where could he be? If he’s not home, then he’d be at the market? Or maybe he’s by the lake? He’s been radio silent all day. He usually texts Renjun the moment he’s coherent enough to. Maybe Renjun is just overreacting. Donghyuck is probably just distracted and outside somewhere. Donghyuck hasn’t answered any of his texts but maybe he just isn’t looking at his phone. Renjun stares at the door knob. He tries to turn it. The door opens.
“Of course it does. Why on earth would Donghyuck lock his door?” Renjun steps into Donghyuck’s apartment.
He looks around. Nothing seems out of place. There are small plants by the windows. The couch has a blanket neatly draped over it. The containers on the counter were all angled perfectly. Everything seems fine.
“Donghyuck?” Renjun calls.
He walks towards the bedroom. He softly knocks before entering. The bed was made, extra pillows neatly placed, the stuffed animals Renjun has given him sat on the dresser. The room was stuffy, air stiff. Renjun moves closer to the bed.
“Where are you?” he whispers
Renjun spends the day looking for Donghyuck. He asked around but no one had seen him. No one in his apartment saw him. None of the shopkeepers saw him. Renjun finds himself returning to the same spots over and over, hoping that he’ll spot the taller. He heads back to the apartment and waits, sends countless text messages, then heads back out to the lake, then the boardwalk, then the woods. Rinse and repeat. Nothing. There’s no trace of him.
He finds himself at the cafe, sipping on a frappuccino. Unwelcome thoughts flood his mind. What if he got taken? What if he’s out there, lost and hurt? What if Donghyuck decided that he was too crazy and left him?
Renjun’s vision blurs as his cheeks wet. “Where are you?” He looks up at the sky. “Where are you?”
When the sun starts to get too low in the sky, Renjun heads back to Donghyuck’s apartment, hoping he’d find him there. Like this was all just a bad dream. He shoots his mom a quick text and then enters the apartment.
The room stands still. The walls stare at him, judging him. Renjun collapses to the ground. His hands shake as he pulls out his phone again.
“It’s useless,” he relents. “He’s not coming back, is he?”
The walls provide no answer. Renjun slumps on the floor. “He’s so stupid.” He shakes his head. “I’m so stupid. I never should have told him anything. His dumbass did something stupid to try and help me, didn’t he? Maybe he tried to be a demon hunter or something.” A small laugh. “Why didn’t I try to keep him from leaving? It was late. What if he was just trying to get home when he got caught? I should’ve gone with him.” A pause. “Maybe this is why people stop looking. There really is no hope. If he wasn’t taken or lost, then he’s just avoiding me. But if he was taken then what can I even do? I don’t even know what I’m up against. This thing is able to erase memories! How am I supposed to battle that alone? Everyone would think I’m crazy if I said anything.”
He stares at the walls. They mock him as he cries. “Mom wouldn’t help me either. She’s oblivious to all this. I doubt she’d want to know, anyways,” he says softly, voice flowing through the room. He loses track of time sitting in that silent room. His mind wanders through dangerous paths, finding itself in a loop, trapped. Everything that he could do would be futile. He edges toward the blade of delusion.
“I’ve got to do something, though, don’t I? I’d be a bad boyfriend otherwise.”
He blinks back his tears. His legs shake as he pulls himself up. “What can I even do?” he whispers. His eyes widen as the moon rises. He looks pointedly out of the window. Delusion cuts through him. “Come fight me.”
The night sky blinks.
Renjun runs up the stairs to the roof. Heart pounding in his chest, adrenaline rushing through his veins. The cool air bites his skin as he opens the door to the roof. The energy coursing through his veins taunts the night sky. He walks forward, towards the edge of the roof and finds Donghyuck’s phone. He lights up the screen and sees all 253 messages he sent during the day. Renjun grits his teeth.
“WHERE IS HE?” he yells into the night’s breeze. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?”
Wind rushes up the side of the building. Renjun bristles as he sees a figure fly up over him. The creature lands softly behind him. He whirls around and points an accusatory finger. “What. Did. You. Do. With. Him.”
The creature steps forward. Renjun freezes. It wears a crooked grin on its face with glowing eyes wide with feigned innocence. Large wings tuck behind the creature’s body as it tilts its head. “I can tell why he likes you.” The voice echoes in Renjun’s head, grin unmoving.
It walks forward a bit more, towering over Renjun. The moonlight illuminates the winged being. Its face, beautiful, body resembling that of a human. Dark hair messily covers its forehead. The moonlight highlights its high cheekbones and sharp jawline. The creature was mesmerizing and frightening all the same.
Renjun stares at it, unable to move. He gulps. “Where is he? What did you do with him?”
“Renjun, I presume? I’ve heard a lot about you. Pity.” It leans forward, face inches away from Renjun’s. “What makes you different? Why can you remember?” Its glowing eyes narrowed. “Now that I think of it, the others had been quite fond of you.” Its voice reverberated through all of Renjun’s bones, the deep timber buzzing in his head.
Confusion made a home on Renjun’s face, a fact not lost on the towering figure. Its grin grows, revealing sharp teeth. “Do you remember Jeno?” A small nod. “Well, he was the Eva here. At least until he stopped doing his job.” Confusion only grew on Renjun’s face. “Oh, right. You don’t know what that is. An Eva is an evanesce, they’re supposed to take your memories.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Its eyes squint as it smiles. “Isn’t this fun? Humans have always been on the search for answers. They go to great lengths to gain them, as though it's worth anything. Then when they get answers in any way that they didn’t anticipate, they always ask why .” It stares into Renjun’s eyes. “You really want to know why?” Its breath cold breath fans over Renjun’s face. “Because I’m going to kill you.” It abruptly leans back and lets out a loud shriek. “Isn’t this fun?” It laughs. “Isn’t this so cliche?”
It leans back and looks at Renjun. “Let’s go meet the boyfriend, shall we?” It rushes forward and grabs Renjun before jumping. Its wings open and shoot them straight up into the sky. Renjun feels the creature’s chest shake as it skyrockets high up into the sky. The look of murder in the creatures eyes burns into Renjun’s brain. He tries to find purchase on the creature but the attempt is futile. The only thing keeping him from falling is the creature’s grip on him. He has to trust this thing with his life that it promised to take from him. They slow to a stop. The creature looks down at Renjun. It cracks a smile. “This is my favorite part.” It leans back and panic sets in Renjun. It lets out a shrill shriek as they plummet towards the ground. The wind pushes against Renjun. He closes his eyes as they quickly approach the earth. So this is how I die.
He manages to open his eyes as they hit the ground. Except they don’t. They fall through the earth and enter a world of darkness.
The creature lets go of Renjun and he collapses against the ground. Goosebumps ran up and down his arms. He looks around to find nothing but a dark void. The cold environment, just bearable. He looks up to see a pair of glowing eyes staring at him.
“Where is Donghyuck.”
“Somewhere. Not that that matters. Let’s play a game.”
“No! I’m not playing a fucking game. I’m here to get my boyfriend and leave.”
The creature smiles fondly at Renjun. “You’re just like the others. Oh is this going to be fun. You want to leave? Fine. But you’re only going to be able to if you play by the rules,” it singsongs.
It disappears and appears far from Renjun. Renjun can only see the glowing eyes in the dark. “Now. Have you ever heard of tag? It’s one of my favorite games. Yes? Great. If you’re able to get to me and tag me, then I’ll let you go. Otherwise, I’ll have to kill you. Simple as that.”
“But won’t you move?”
“Oh, no, I’ll sit right here.” Its eyes drop as it sits. “Let’s play.”
“If I say no?”
“Then you’ll freeze. Or starve. Or bleed out. Not sure yet.” It grins.
“Ok. Fine.” Renjun stands and gains his bearings. He inhales the cold, piercing air. Renjun starts walking towards the thing then breaks into a sprint. He stares dead into the creature’s eyes as he runs. Then something cold nicks his ear. His eyes widen as he looks back. A knife?
The creature leans back and lets out a shriek. Its shoulders shake with a laugh. “Oh, yea. I can do whatever I want except move from here.” It stares back at Renjun, taunts him.
Renjun continues to run towards the creature as it uses him as target practice. His ear bleeds. His leg gets nicked. His arm gets a gash cut through it. He barely dodges a knife heading for his head. Nonetheless, he runs. The creature keeps laughing its shrill shriek as Renjun tries to cross the seemingly infinite plane between the two. Pain travels through Renjun’s body. He keeps pushing despite his every fiber begging him not to. It could be lying to him. It might never let him go but he has to try. He has to try for Donghyuck. Donghyuck.
Renjun jolts back as his ears ring. He falls to his knees as a dull pain grows in his stomach. He looks down and feels blood pooling on his shirt. He winces as he tries to stand back up, clutching at his abdomen. He grimaces as he takes step after step. He sees the creature’s eyes squint as it laughs. His vision blurs. The room shakes and he loses his footing. He tries to get up and get closer to the creature in the distance. Pain shoots up his body. His mouth falls open in a silent scream. His vision grows fuzzier.
Donghyuck. He needs to get to Donghyuck. Donghyuck needs him. He must be so scared. Or he might be trying something stupid to get back to the surface. Did Donghyuck have to go through this? Renjun hopes not or else he would kill the creature. He looks up. Almost there. He’s so close. If he can tag the damn thing he’ll be able to get him and Donghyuck free from this cold hell.
Renjun crawls forward, blood running down his arms and pooling at his hands. Another knife flies by him. He looks up at the creature. It smiles at him. Its cold glowing eyes bore into his every pore. He inches forward as he hears another figure approach.
“Donghyuck?” Renjun tries to get out. He coughs up blood. He pushes himself to get there faster. Donghyuck. Donghyuck. Donghyuck. Donghyuck. His eyes threaten to close, the blood on his tongue bitter and metallic. He coughs. His head pounds. He tries to look up but his head is too heavy. His body shakes as he tries to get closer. “If you hurt him, I’m going to kill you,” Renjun whispers, inaudible. He wheezes and chokes on the blood rising in his throat. His body collapses. He tries to look up as his eyelids fall close. “Donghyuck.”
The creature looks over at the clock. It squints. “That was uneventful. He only lasted five minutes. 2 after I shot him.” It scrunches its nose in disgust as it tosses the remaining knives on the floor.
Donghyuck yanks at the creature’s wings and throws it against the floor. “Are you happy now?” he seethes, tears streaming down his face.
“Tsk. He didn’t even recognize me, either.”
Donghyuck screams. “How can you be so heartless? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Did you learn your lesson?” It asks, leaning back on its arms.
He scoffs. “My lesson? You motherfucking bitch.” He grabs a knife and throws it at the creature.
It catches the knife. “Donghyuck. Tsk. Being on the surface sure has made you soft.” It tilts its head. “I knew we should have never sent you over there. It wasn’t worth the five minutes of fun I had.”
Donghyuck clenches his jaw. “What the hell do you gain from this. You don’t even give two shits about this but you still obey her. Taeyong has nothing over you. You didn’t have to do this.”
The creature tips the edge of the knife against its lips. “You’re right. I didn’t. But,” it sighs. “Nothing else is fun,” it whines. The knife spins in its hand. Its glowing eyes meet Donghyuck’s burning ones.
“I’m not doing this anymore. I’m leaving and I’m taking Renjun with me. You can tell Taeyong whatever you want.”
“That’s what you said last year~,” it sings.
Donghyuck screams and grabs at the creature again. He pins him down and lands punch after punch. The creature shrieks with laughter.
“Oh, Donghyuck.” it says between punches. “You don’t even know how to heal your boy. If you learned to control your anger maybe you’d be more useful and maybe, just maybe, Taeyong would give you more freedom. Like being able to have friends.” Donghyuck raises his fist again but the creature points the knife to his neck. “Move and I’ll cut you,” it laughs.
“Mark. That’s enough.” Mark rolls its eyes and drops the knife with a smirk. Donghyuck looks up to see Taeyong watching them. “One day you’ll learn, Donghyuck.” She waves her hand. “Collect the body and clean up this hall.” She commands her servants. She looks over at Mark. “Next time be a bit cleaner, yeah?”
It gives her a salute then shoves Donghyuck off to stand. It looks down at him. “If it makes you feel better, he’s not dead forever.” Donghyuck’s eyes widen. “Just don’t mess up again or you’ll have to watch this happen again.”
Donghyuck clenches his jaw.
“Donghyuck.” Taeyong squats down to look at Donghyuck’s face. “You need to clean up and go back to the surface to wipe their memories. We’ll keep Renjun safe until your return.” She smiles. “After all, you don’t want to end up like Jeno, right?”
“When can I come back,” he whispers.
“When I say you can.” With that, Taeyong stands and disappears down the long hallway.
Mark looks at Donghyuck. “I’ve always admired you. You’ve always had hope. You need to get rid of it, though. You’re a Lee, Donghyuck. You don’t get to leave.” It turns and follows Taeyong down the hall.
Donghyuck’s face is hot with anger and wet with tears. He looks over to where Renjun had collapsed, floor already cleaned. “I’ll get you out. Just wait for me.” He says with a sad smile. "I pinkie promise." He stands and follows the others down the hallway.