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Tony woke up alone with a desperate, gasping cry.
He remembered being hurt– he remembered the vibranium shield crushing his chest, he remembered metal cutting into his flesh. He remembered Loki appearing from nowhere and cradling Tony’s head, green eyes filled with tears as he screamed—
And yet, as Tony ran his desperate hands over his body, over the ripped and bloody clothing he wore… he realised that his skin was not tarnished with even a single scratch.
He felt entirely fine, there was nothing wrong with him. Yet, the pool of blood he was still lying in was as real as the broken and battered suit which had been thrown to the side the moment Loki had managed to pull Tony from it.
Which could only mean…
Tony hurried to his feet, his shoes slipping in his own blood. He really was alone, there was no one else with him– but he knew, oh he knew that they wouldn’t be far.
It wasn’t hard to trace the steps he’d taken during the fight, hurrying along darkened corridors and dusty concrete staircases. He might not have been in his right mind during the fight, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t been paying attention. And although it took him longer than it would have had he still been in the suit, it wasn’t long at all before he made it to the open area where his trust in Steve Rogers had been torn asunder forever.
And then… there they were.
There were three of them close together– two kneeling on the ground, one standing over them with the kind of rage striking across his face that would have had the most powerful of beings cowering.
And the blood… oh god, there was so much of it, far more than what had been surrounding Tony when he woke up.
Steve was facing the other two, held still and kneeling by bonds of magic, forced to watch as Loki held a knife against the skin of Barnes’ throat. The Winter Soldier was painted a deeper scarlet than even the floor, flaps of skin peeling from where they had been artfully sliced from flesh.
Loki’s voice was burning with a hair-raising viciousness as he spoke, taunting with perfect accuracy.
“Do you feel it, Captain? Do you feel every cut of his skin as if it were your own? Do you feel the bile rising in your throat, do you feel the pit in the bottom of your stomach, the twist of your gut reminding you that in this moment– there is nothing you can do to save him?”
Steve’s lips twisted into a snarl, but Loki was right. There was nothing that he could do. He was caught in Loki’s web of magic, helplessly watching as Loki cut his best friend to ribbons right before his eyes.
Tony couldn’t help it. His eyes were glued to the scene as he moved closer, his breathing shallow.
“Loki?”
Suddenly, Loki froze– the lithe, predatory lines of his body twisting into harsh tension—
But he didn’t turn. Instead, he slashed out with his knife—
And Tony’s ears rang with the sound of Steve’s cry and the spine-tingling thump of Barnes’ empty body hitting the ground, blood spurting from his cut throat.
Loki’s face was pale under the sheen of blood that coated it, making his eyes stand out like emeralds as they finally came to rest upon Tony—
But only for a moment.
Then Loki’s gaze skittered away, landing on Steve instead– and then Steve froze properly, his eyes stilling, his curses quietening as Loki’s seiðr robbed him of every movement.
Tony stepped a little closer to his lover– but paused when it only made Loki tense further.
“I didn’t want you to see this,” Loki said, clenching his bloody hands into fists, one still holding the knife as what Tony could see of his knuckles turned white from the strain. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
And even though that green gaze was averted, Tony could still see it in his lover’s eyes– the pain, the shame. Loki had been holding himself back for so very long, trying to be good to fit in with the Avengers, trying to be good enough for Tony.
But surely, Loki had to know…
He had to know that wasn’t what Tony wanted from him.
Still moving slowly, afraid of startling him, Tony moved forward and gently took both of Loki’s hands in his own.
Loki looked up at the touch, as if he were surprised– and his eyes were wide as they finally met Tony’s properly.
“Lokes,” Tony whispered. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”
There was a moment where Loki frowned, where he was quite clearly trying to work out why Tony would be saying such a thing. But then—
“Do you understand what you’re saying?” Loki asked. “I can try harder, I can– once I have dealt with Rogers, this will not happen again.”
“Yes it will.” Tony shrugged. “Loki, you’ve been holding yourself back, but I know you. I know the way you react when you’re slighted, or when someone you care about gets hurt. I know you, and I know that the next time I get hurt, this is going to happen again. Don’t make a promise that you can’t keep.”
Loki’s eyes hardened at that, as if he were preparing to protect himself– but Tony wasn’t done.
“I know you, Loki. You may not think that I do, but… believe me. I’ve seen the good, and I’ve seen the dark– and you know what? I still love you.”
And as Loki’s lips parted in shock, Tony wasted no time– he cupped Loki’s bloody cheeks and slid their mouths together, not caring about the taste of iron, or about the feel of the knife pressing against his back.
Loki wouldn’t hurt him. Loki loved him– had loved him enough to try to change himself.
But that wasn’t what Tony wanted.
Loki had tried to change to fit the Avengers, for Tony’s sake– but the Avengers had betrayed them. Maybe it was time for Tony to make a change.
And perhaps… it shouldn’t have been so easy.
Tony licked his lips when the kiss broke, and he knew that his face must be as smeared with Barnes’ blood as Loki’s was. But… he didn’t care. He took Loki’s hands once more, and slid the knife from his grasp.
Loki looked a little confused, but let him do it– and then Tony heard Loki’s breath hitch as Tony made his way toward Steve.
“I’m sure you’ve worked out why I’m doing this,” Tony said, leaning down and pressing the knife underneath Steve’s chin. “It’s the same reason why you tried to kill me, after all.”
Steve’s eyes widened, and Tony knew that Loki had let up on his seiðr enough for Steve to be able to hear him—
And then he shoved the blade into the side of Steve’s neck with one single, sure thrust– not slashing like Loki had, but burying the knife hilt deep before twisting it to be sure.
Steve’s eyes were bulging, there was blood bubbling between his lips– and Tony twisted one more time before he pulled the knife out and allowed Steve’s twitching corpse to fall. He stared it at for a moment. Not concerned, but… admiring. Then he turned with a smile which only grew when he saw the gleam of hunger in Loki’s eyes.
“I’m with you, Loki,” Tony said, his tone dipping low. “Every part of you.”
Loki crossed the distance between them in two sure strides before he pulled Tony harshly against him and kissed him with the kind of passion that made Tony gasp. He kissed Loki back just as forcefully, their mouths sliding together in the blood, their hands clutching at damp clothes.
“You mean it?” Loki asked, the words something closer to a growl than a gasp. “You want me—”
“Always,” Tony hissed. “More than anything. More than the Avengers, more than the fucking world—” Tony’s words cut off to a groan as Loki kissed him again, harsher this time, the press of his lips and the slide of his tongue almost possessive—
And Tony just pressed closer, his thoughts melting away to a low, needy moan.
There’d be consequences for what they’d done, Tony knew that. But if it meant he had this? Then he would be more than willing to bear them. In fact, in order for Loki to be his, and for them to free, Tony would be willing to let a lot more burn than just two problematic super soldiers. Perhaps even the world.
Hell, for Loki, after everything that they’d been through, with every inch of emotion shooting through his veins… Tony would be willing to burn it all down himself.