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Human emotions are crazy.
Dean should know, he is one.
And when cas was experiencing them all the first time, that first time hed fallen it had been... Rough, to say the least.
Now hes had practice, he knows what's going on and how to interpret things, he knows how he feels.
To watch him crying like that, with a smile on his face regardless. To hear him wax poetic about dean like that...
Dean had trouble grasping the situation. Yes it was cas, the little guy in the trench coat. Gruff voice with the big blue doe eyes. It was just cas.
But its castiel, angel of thursdays and temperance.
Castiel angel of the lord, a being that can smite and destroy and heal and bring miracles, is standing in some grimy bunker, saying that dean isn't a monster, that hes amazing, and loving and caring and kind.
And that he loves him.
And then hes GONE.
And dean, dean doesn't know what to do because one minute he was staring into the eyes of this man, who is sobbing and grinning and telling dean that the happiest moment of his life isn't becoming a dad or having family, or saving the world or having first beer or loosing his v-card. His happiest moment is owning up to an unrequited love in order to save a man who doesn't love him back.
And dean didn't love him. That's true.
Deans never really had an eye for guys, and cas is just the little dude in the trench coat with the deep voice and doe eyes.
But when cas has been snatched away. When dean is sitting in an empty bunker.
How could he not love castiel?
How could he not love the little guy, so what if he has stubble or a dick or strong hands.
It leaves dean gasping. Sitting on the floor sobbing.
How could he not love cas?