Chapter Text
“Okay great, thanks, yeah my assistant will give you a call tomorrow…” Josh trailed off as he heard fireworks going off nearby. He turned to the direction the sound was coming from. He dropped the phone as he saw the absolute chaos of the crowd ducking and trying to flee. He realised it wasn’t fireworks, someone was shooting at the crowd. Josh rushed forwards, down into the crowd to find the staff, the president, hoping they were safe. His legs faltered and he looked down, startled to see blood running down his front. He stumbled back away from the steps, confused and afraid. His legs collapsed beneath him, and he found himself sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall. His hands found the source of the bleeding and he grasped at the edges of the wound, afraid to touch the point the pain was emitting from, afraid of what he might find if he did. A burning heat was spreading through his body. He tasted bile in his mouth as the burning heat coursed through him. Josh sat and thought of his mother, thought of her receiving the call that another tragedy had taken her last family member. Guilt for the pain and suffering she would suffer upon hearing of his death was consuming his mind just as the heat was coursing through him. If he could just get help he could survive and she would not have to hear about another of her children dying. Josh resolved to try get to the bottom of the stairs, that is where the paramedics would be. He tried to move but his body was refusing to cooperate. There was a rushing sound in his ears, the crowd and the gunshots drowned out by it. His vision was blurring, static crowding into his field of vision. He desperately wanted to close his eyes, to be unconscious, to not feel. He just had to hang on, hang on, someone would find him, hang on. As his desperate inner monologue was getting harder to believe he heard Toby’s voice. He tried to shout out, but no sound came. Josh locked eyes with Toby, shouting help and thank you with his eyes. He could finally succumb to the blackness now help was here, he slipped into unconsciousness as he heard CJ’s shout of panic.
Josh was ungraciously shaken from the black as he was rattled into an ambulance. The sounds of sirens and flashing lights were disorienting. He was being poked and jostled as the paramedics located the source of his injury but he wished they would just let him be still. He felt like he was being torn apart, the sounds, the sights, the pain, it was too much, everything was too much. He wanted to bury his head under the blanket and block his ears. Every breathe felt like he was sucking razor blades into his lungs and the burning was still coursing through his bones. The paramedics shoved an oxygen mask on his face, but it did not make breathing any less painful.
He was in the Oval talking to the president. But it wasn’t Bartlet behind the Resolute, it was Hoynes. Josh’s brain was screaming at him, he shouldn’t be here, Hoynes shouldn’t be president, he should be with Bartlet. A voice was telling him loudly that he was going to go in for surgery, that his lung was collapsed. Josh tried to tell him it couldn’t be, and he couldn’t go into surgery, he had to get to New Hampshire, he had to get to Bartlet before it was too late.
Josh was drifting, painlessly through mist…
Beep
No sounds piercing his eardrums…
Beep
No flashing lights blinding him…
Beep
No pain…
Beep
He could see through the mist a golden light; it was warm and bright, and he felt he should go towards it. He carefully began floating towards to light…
Beep
As he drew nearer it shifted and became blue, still warm and still the only colourful thing in his field of vision. He was within an arms’ reach now, he tried to grasp it but he could not lift his arms. He tried something else instead, and opened his eyes.
Beep… Beep… Beep
His eyes felt covered in grit and sleep, and barely stayed open. He still couldn’t lift his arms to brush the sleep away, so contented to try blink them clean.
“Ah Mr Lyman, good to see you awake. You have just had a 14 hour surgery, and have been in the recovery room for one hour. Now you’re awake we will monitor your vitals and get you up to a room very soon. It’s okay if you feel a bit disoriented now, you can try go back to sleep if you’d like.”
Josh tried to remember why he had to have surgery, and wondered if this was real or another dream. He couldn’t sit up, and his eyes desperately wanted to stay closed so he gave up trying to figure out what was going on and drifted back to sleep. The next thing he heard was his name being called in a familiar voice. The voice was telling him he was okay, and that he should wake up, and something in him told him he should do what the voice was saying. He cracked his tired eyes and saw the President and Leo standing over him. He was safe, he knew what to do.
“What’s next”
Just this minimal sentence was enough to exhaust his brain, and he drifted again enjoying the hand on head, knowing someone was there to comfort and protect him.