Chapter Text
Red.
The sweltering embers of an open flame. Stand too close, and one runs the risk of getting burned.
Red.
It’s the only thing Beca can see, whether her eyes are open or not. The only colour present… is red.
Red, anger. The scorching fire emanating from deep within every crevasse of her soul, all consuming, and begging her to turn away. To run. Never look back.
Red, danger. The voice inside her head that reminds her over and over again that this is why she had had her walls erected in the first place. To stop them from breaking them down. To keep people out. To keep them far away.
Red, heartbreak. The fortifying or rebuilding of those walls in the event that someone finds their way in and breaks her the way her heart is fragmenting the longer Beca watches the scene in front of her.
Red, love. The very same love that is asserting its dominance over the movement of her limbs, forcing her to stay exactly where she is and hope to God that it is all just a dream. That there is a chance she will wake up and find Chloe right next to her, in their shitty NYC apartment, fast asleep and cuddled up to her... Just the two of them. Like it had always been.
A harsh, staggering breath escapes from her pursed lips, and Beca finally finds herself able to avert her eyes. Avert them from the painful visual of Chloe, the beautiful woman she is totally and unequivocally in love with, kissing a man she had known for barely a few weeks.
Unfortunately, it is a little too late to pretend she hadn’t seen the make-out session, although it isn’t, however, too late to claw her eyes out.
She had seen more than enough for the sight to be forever seared into her mind and tattooed onto her heart by the jagged edge of a shard of glass.
It hurts.
God, it is downright agonising.
The reality of the situation is that the young brunette has been planning for weeks how she was going to throw all caution to the wind and profess to her best friend (and love of her life) just what she means to her.
No. That's not entirely accurate.
She’d been planning it for months, years even, but it was only recently that she decided she was going to act on her feelings. She’d concluded that she had been wallowing in her self-pity for far too long, and that it was about time she do something for herself, and thus, find herself ‘some happy’.
That had been the reason she had made a last minute change from singing Khaled’s planned song to what was essentially her coming out song.
George Michael’s Freedom had been her love song to Chloe, her way of letting the older girl know that she was finally being true to the person she had always been. And who was that person?
Not Shawshank , Beca EFFIN Mitchell , DJ BM, or whatever other nicknames people had given her over the years.
Beca. Just Beca.
A self-proclaimed bad-ass who is, and always has been, so in love with Chloe that she’d do absolutely anything, drop anything, to make her happy. She had once suddenly asked for two days holiday after Chloe tearfully called her on her work phone to tell her that her father asked her not to come home for Christmas.
Beca had known the extra senior years had taken a toll on her relationship with her family, but she had cuddled up to the girl and let her know just how amazing she really was. That had been the day she realised she was in love with Chloe; that it wasn’t simply a crush or an infatuation.
When she had been stood on that stage, all by herself, using the foot-loop pedals to create her harmony from scratch, she had seen Chloe in the crowd. Of course, she was difficult to miss, but Beca had seen the way the girl hadn’t once taken her eyes off her and she had thought finally , they were on the same page. There had been this unmistakable spark in Chloe’s eyes… and the smile on her lips?
It was her favourite smile… the one that always said ‘ I am so damn proud of you Becs, my little Super Star’ ; and the very same one that never fails to quicken her heart rate and make her palms sweaty. She’d do anything for that smile.
Thinking back to when she’d brought her girls onto the stage with her, she remembered the heated glances her and Chloe had shared, the lingering touches as they crossed each other’s paths; as though ensuring that the other was still there. Every time she caught Chloe’s eye, she had tried to wordlessly convey something, anything , to the girl to get her to stay after their performance.
She had been singing at the time, of course she couldn’t have just asked her.
But had she known what the current outcome would be, there is no doubt that she’d have stopped the performance there and then to tell Chloe herself. Khaled be damned, Chloe has always been and will always be the most important person in her life.
Unlike the predictable plot in so many of the stupid movies she’d been forced to watch over the years, the guy doesn't always have to be the one who gets the girl; Jesse had learnt that the hard way and by extension, so had she.
Sometimes, just sometimes, the girl gets the girl.
Instead, she’d reluctantly decided that the only thing she could do was catch the girl the moment she had finished discussing the future of her career with Khaled, who was bound to find her after her performance. Maybe she’d be lucky enough to get to Chloe first.
She can still visualise it now, the way she’d hoped everything would happen.
She’d take Chloe by the hands and ensure they had sufficient privacy, before pulling her in close, and saying the words that had been on the tip of her lips for the last four years.
" Chloe. I love you. I love you so much . Be mine forever and I will never let you go. "
She’d gaze into shimmering ocean blues before leaning in to press their lips together the way she'd imagined it for so long; tenderly, passionately, and most importantly, lovingly .
God, her lips. The number of times she found she was unable to stop her gaze from dropping to the very lips she fantasized of kissing in the seven years she’d known the girl was utterly extraordinary to Beca. Every time they’d speak, it was just… instinctive to watch the girl’s lips sensually form each and every word… by this stage, she was sure Chloe must have noticed her gaze, especially since she spent an astonishingly long time licking said lips whenever she happened to be watching.
They always looked so soft and inviting, and she just knew they were made to fit her own. And when Chloe would bite down on her lower lip... God, Beca wanted nothing more than to bite down on the lip herself... Softly of course, but enough to let the girl know that they belonged to her and her alone.
But for now, all Beca can do is regret not having acted on her desires earlier, and wonder how things might have been had she taken the leap, made the jump... Would Chloe have caught her?
She feels Theo's presence to her right side and she can’t find it in herself to acknowledge him. To be fair, she isn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but he has been getting on her nerves with the number of compliments he has bestowed upon her as though she will suddenly fall into his arms and call him ‘hero’ for getting Khaled on board with her.
What is it with the men in her life treating her like some damsel in need of saving? Jesse had done the same thing, trying to get her to change for him and then blaming her for trying to resist. Her own father believed she couldn’t make a living from music…
Either way, she refuses to provide anything more than a non-committal grunt.
She is in love with her best friend; she doesn’t know how much more obvious she can possibly make it. Sure, she hadn't physically 'told' anyone, but the Bellas knew, and she didn't even need to admit it to them.
A gentle hand to her shoulder startles her, and the start of a compliment falls from Theo’s lips, “You were great-”
But that is all it takes for Beca to tense and push him away with a semi-forceful hand to the stomach as she kicks herself into gear.
Enough is enough.
She knows what she wants… who she wants. No more running away. No more what-ifs and if onlys. No more wondering what might have been if she had only been braver.
This is her moment- their moment. And she is going to clench it with both hands and never let it go again.
This is the last chance she will ever give herself to find her happiness with Chloe. It’s all or nothing now.
And so, with a confident swagger to her step and a smirk on her lips, she is certain she doesn’t need to turn around to know that Theo is staring at her in total disbelief, he should have clocked on that she wasn’t interested in him. What with her abundantly clear and consistent rebuffs.
She does however throw a coy “I gotta show him how it’s done,” over her shoulder to the music producer, in a tone that belies the nerves she does feel in her stomach. This is the bravest she has ever been, and yet she is just as terrified.
She can’t help but smirk at the reality of her words which were more along the lines of: I gotta to show this guy once and for all that Chloe is off limits and that she is mine .
With her gaze locked on the still kissing couple in front, she holds back a wince, but something strange happens that almost stops the girl dead. Her fear disappears. Totally disappears. The fear of the unknown, of losing her best friend… she isn’t afraid any more.
On the contrary, she actually feels braver than she’d ever felt in her life.
And it is this bravery that forces her to quicken her pace, and when she notices Chicago leaning forward as though intending to dip Chloe, Beca tugs on Chloe’s shoulder, pulling the dazed girl away from the soldier, and spins her around to face her.
Theo’s amused “I always knew” is lost to her as she gazes into her favourite pair of ocean blue eyes, belonging to the very woman she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
Chloe Beale.
A smile comes to Beca’s lips, and Chloe’s parted mouth and shocked expression are the last things Beca sees as she crashes their lips together, happily catching Chloe’s moan in exchange for her own.
She immediately brings her hands up to cup the girl’s cheeks, suddenly panicked that Chloe is going to inevitably pull away from her… but to her surprise, she never does.
Instead, the redhead wraps an arm around Beca’s head, her hand firmly clasping onto Beca’s hair as she pulls herself even closer.
Beca gasps into Chloe’s mouth when she feels her hair frantically being tugged on and Chloe takes the initiative to deepen the kiss. It is desperate, but at the same time, so very tender and loving.
It is everything Beca had dreamed of and so much more, and as she traces Chloe’s bottom lip with her tongue, she feels the rumbling moan in Chloe’s chest and catches it with her answering moan. She finds it hard not to grin into the kiss as Chloe presses herself tightly against her body, as though there was never an intention for letting go.
Yes, soldier boy, this is how you truly kiss Chloe Beale , Beca can’t help but think.
She is in seventh heaven, her body feels as light as a feather and she may as well be floating amidst the clouds, suspended mid-air with no gravity keeping her feet firmly on the ground… Chloe’s lips feel like coming home.
Home . She doesn’t recall the last time she ever felt as though she were home. She had felt some form of it back when she lived with her ‘sisters’ at the Bella house, but before that? Perhaps when she had been growing up with both her loving mother and father present. After her father left and her mother died, her home was no longer a home. Just an empty building where love ceased to exist.
Chloe, however, has always felt like home. This constant warmth and bubble of happiness she seems to constantly exude, it is honestly contagious. Beca craves it all the time.
Wherever Chloe is, is where she wants to be. Needs to be.
Her lips are sweet, like fresh strawberries covered in a rich and delicious chocolate glaze, and as their lips refused to part, Beca finds she simply can’t get enough of it.
She wonders what Chloe thinks of her own lips. Whether she thinks her kisses are better than the soldier’s, whether she revels in the fact that her smaller body feels better against hers than the taller and more muscled body of her counter - part.
How do their kisses compare?
Chicago’s looked sloppy and rather frenzied, his hands inexperienced and gropey, as though he couldn’t wait to get Chloe out of her clothes to fuck her. The thought, in actuality, makes Beca’s blood begin to irrationally boil.
How dare he treat Chloe as his sex plaything! He had known her for barely a few weeks and couldn’t even try to get to know her first before needing to have his way with her. Chloe Beale is the epitome of beauty and kindness, patience and utter devotion. She deserves to be wined, dined, and shown just how amazing she is.
Air soon becomes an issue and Beca finds herself needing to pull away momentarily to re-capture what little oxygen she requires, before quickly changing her mind and the angle of their broken kiss and firmly re-attaching their lips. She feels her toes curl the way Chloe’s tongue s curls into her own. Jesus.
Chloe certainly doesn’t seem to be complaining as her hands unclasp Beca’s hair and instead re-locate to the small of Beca’s back to pull her even- more tightly into her body. Beca’s arms follow suit and wrap around Chloe’s neck.
This kiss feels different to the previous one. It somehow feels more… real. Like, the first kiss was to show Chloe that she is the one she should be kissing, whilst with this one… it’s slightly more subdued, as though reinforcing to Chloe the fact that she wants this. Wants her. And she wants to continue kissing her, and so much more.
Nothing else matters to her. Not Khaled, not Chicago, not Theo… not even the Bellas, who are probably cheering them on from the side-lines… the nosy bitches.
It’s just them, Beca and Chloe, here in this moment, and within the confinements of their own world.
This is their own story… their beginning, and the start of what is sure to be their happy ending.
It is their time.
Beca finds she simply cannot get close enough to Chloe. No matter how hard she tugs on Chloe’s hair or how much Chloe pulls her into her body, she just needs to be closer.
A moan forces itself from Beca’s throat when Chloe’s hand lifts her left thigh to wrap her leg around her waist almost in an attempt to carry her completely. She finds herself unable to resist thrusting up into Chloe, her panties suddenly feeling a lot damper than usual.
She worries she might scare Chloe away with her eagerness, after all, they hadn’t discussed what exactly this is, but her fear seems fruitless when she considers Chloe’s actions. With the way the redhead moves her own body in accordance to Beca’s thrusts, almost encouraging them, she gets the impression that Chloe actually might want this just as badly as she does.
Which… wow.
Beca’s louder-than-usual moan is all it takes for both girls to break apart, realising they were still in the public eye.
Beca bites her lip when she takes in the totally dilated eyes of her best friend, both girls breathing heavily.
A smirk crosses Chloe’s lips as she takes a firm hold of Beca’s hand and drags her away with her, paying no attention to the two men who have absolutely no idea what they had just witnessed
Beca follows blindly, still lost in her
Chloe haze
and never once removes her eyes from the girl leading the way, and she entwines their fingers together.
Finally.