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When Howard told him he had a son, Steve was expecting a young child. Howard called him ‘ boy’ and warned Steve about possible misbehavior.
Of course, when Steve was introduced to Tony, seventeen and with fire in his eyes, he could barely contain himself. Tony was gorgeous, sinfully so, and so, so off limits.
Tony didn't shake his proffered hand. He looked down at it in disgust and said I thought you'd be taller, before turning and leaving the room.
Don't mind him. He'll be gone next week. Howard had sounded so apathetic that Steve's gut twisted. How could a man seem unfazed by his only son leaving? It had been nice waking up to a familiar, albeit aged, face, but now he wasn't sure he ever knew the man standing beside him.
Staying at the Stark Mansion was odd. It had only been a month, but felt like years. Howard had been wrong about the amount of time Tony would be around. The more time he spent around Howard, the more uncomfortable he got. Tony was this ball of energy, this light, and Howard was indifferent.
Tony had been just as callous as their first meeting for a bit until one day, Steve walked into the kitchen to see Tony seated on the counter, good-naturedly pestering Jarvis.
"At least let me lick the spoon," Tony whined.
"This cake is for your father's birthday. I don't want you to end up in the hospital with salmonella poisoning."
Steve guessed Tony hadn't seen him yet, because the next words out of his mouth were: "He doesn't care if I'm there as long as Captain Tight-ass is sitting to his left."
What broke Steve's heart more was that Jarvis didn't disagree, didn't offer platitudes, and handed the spoon to Tony. Steve turned tail; he wasn't thirsty anymore.
That night at dinner, Steve watched as Tony sat stock still. Howard was at the head, his business partner to his right and Steve to his left, leaving Maria and Tony--his actual family--to be pushed further down the oversized table.
"Tony, my boy," Obediah bellowed. "When are you set to return to school?"
"September 8th," Tony said. He didn't elaborate, didn’t give any more information than was asked of him.
"Howard, I don't see why you didn't have him take summer courses."
"I regretted it after the first week." Howard played it off as a joke, punctuated it with a half-hearted chuckle, but Steve saw Tony slump further down in his chair.
"Don't slouch, dear," Maria chastised. Tony straightened back again. Steve now understood why Tony never had dinner with the family.
A few more weeks passed. Steve went out of his way to address Tony in conversation. He asked about the bands on Tony's shirts and about his upcoming classes. One time, Tony emerged from the basement, eyes wide and glassy, and Steve asked if he was okay.
"I did it. I finally figured it out."
"Did what?" Steve didn't ask about Stark Industries or what Tony was always building in the basement. He never understood it and it led him to feel vastly uneducated.
"I can show you, if you'd like?"
"I'd love that!" Steve stood up too fast, knocking over the table in front of him.
"Chill out, dude. Don't hurt yourself."
It was when they were in the basement, Tony explaining his breakthrough in "coding" (whatever that was), that Steve realized he wasn't just physically attracted to Tony's body; he'd begun to fall for Tony's mind, too.
Tony was leaving to go back to school the next morning and Steve was not sulking. He’d discovered that he really didn’t like the person Howard had become and didn’t know how much longer he could stay at the mansion once Tony was no longer around.
As if he’d been summoned by Steve’s thoughts, Tony stumbled into the kitchen. He smelled of cigarettes, liquor, sweat, and reefer. It seemed he could barely stand.
He cleared his throat and Tony jumped a mile in the air.
"Who the fu-- oh shit. You're Steve, right?"
"Yes." Rude .
"Are you really here?"
"Of course."
"Okay. Cool.” Tony squinted his eyes, unnervingly focused on Steve’s face. “Were you always purple?"
Steve balked. Was purple some kind of slang? Was Tony insulting him? There were all sorts of new words Steve didn't understand. Was this child implying he was some crumb? “I don’t know what that means,” he admitted after the silence became too awkward.
“Your skin. Fuck, stop moving, you’re melting.” Tony reached forward and poked Steve’s cheek. He knew he should be put off, but he hadn’t been touched beyond a casual handshake since he woke up.
“You sauced?” Steve asked when Tony started pinching his earlobe. It was now, inches away, that he noticed Tony’s pupils were blown wide, only the slightest hint of brown visible around the edges.
“Sauced? Jeez gramps. Wow your hair is soft.”
Steve leaned into the touch. Tony was in some kind of altered state and Steve knew he should interfere. He was the adult here, afterall. But Tony’s nails were gently scratching at his scalp and Steve felt tension leaving his body he hadn’t known was there.
“I’m serious.”
“Me, too. It’s like silk.”
“Tony. What did you take.” He had hoped his voice sounded stern, but by the way Tony recoiled, he may have sounded a little too aggressive.
“You gonna narc on me?” Steve could tell Tony was trying to be aloof, but he also saw a look of fear in his eyes that he was not a fan of.
“I don’t know what that means, but I’m not gonna tell anyone.”
Tony thought for a moment. “How do I know you’re telling the truth.”
“You don’t. You have absolutely no reason to trust me.”
Tony started laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach, doubled over. Steve hadn’t thought he’d said anything funny, let alone a knee-slapper. Tony, however, seemed to be having the time of his life.
“A little E,” Tony gasped out between peals of laughter. “A little acid. Couple’a smokes.”
“You drank acid?” Steve gaped.
“It’s a party drug, you buffoon.” Tony stretched his arms wide. “It makes you feel gooooooood.” Steve slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling the euphoric howl that seemed to explode from somewhere inside Tony.
“You’re gonna wake up your parents.”
Tony scoffed. “They don’t care what I do.”
“That’s not true.”
“Some random fuck once sent us a picture of me doing lines off a stripper when I was fourteen. You know what dad said? He said if you ever get caught again, I’m not bailing you out of jail .”
Steve balked. He wasn’t entirely sure what doing a line was, but he figured it had to be something not good. Howard wasn’t exactly the most… affectionate man back when Steve knew him, but he figured that would change once he settled down and had a family. A wave of rage washed over him. He’d never considered Howard a friend, more like a helpful acquaintance. Now, he hated the man. As soon as SHIELD and the US Military finally figured out his funds, he was moving the fuck out of here.
“Yeah. Didn’t get grounded. Didn’t get cut off. Just told me not to get caught.” Tony looked at the bowl in front of Steve. “Guess I did, anyway, huh? By a guy eating instant oatmeal at three in the morning.”
“I slept for forty years.”
Tony hummed, leaned on the counter, leveled Steve with a look. “Yeah, I’m too fucking sauced to pretend to believe that line. Try again.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stood and put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “We should get you out of those clothes and into bed. A shower, if you feel up to it.”
Tony smirked, stood to his full height. “Trying to get me naked?”
Steve’s mouth went dry. The room was too hot. It was less secretive, now. There were even a few famous people who were that way. Just last week he read about that Freddie Mercury guy having a big birthday party on a boat. Steve had known for a while that he was a friend of Dorothy, but he’d never be so brazenly outward with the information, especially with someone he barely knew.
He really did want to see Tony naked, but it was so wrong on so many fronts. First, Tony was seventeen. There didn’t really need to be any reasons beyond that, but he forced himself to think of them. Tony was Howard’s son. Steve was old enough to be his father… technically. Tony was under the influence.
On the other hand, he was so gorgeous. Steve would even say pretty.
“Kidding, Cap. Don’t have a stroke. Jesus.”
“Uh. I should get to sleep. You can find your room alright, yeah? Drink, uh. Drink water.”
As he turned tail and all but jogged out of the room, Steve realized that for the first time in his life, he walked away from a fight.
Tony hadn’t interacted with Steve much over the Thanksgiving break. He spent most of the time in his room, except when he was dragged to a charity event Howard insisted the whole family (which included Steve) attended. Tony had stood mostly in the corner, downing champagne flute after champagne flute. Steve had tried to start a conversation, but Tony had lied about needing a bathroom break and then Steve hadn’t seen him the rest of the night.
Now he was eavesdropping. It would be foolish to deny it, since he was currently pressed against Tony’s door, trying to listen to both sides of a phone conversation.
From what he’d surmised, Tony was on the phone with a friend from school called Rhodey and they were trying to discuss plans for when Tony returned.
“C’mon. We’ll go to Boston Eagle.”
“ You know I don’t like those kinds of bars, Tones .”
“I’ll pay for cab fare. Both ways. Dude, don’t make me beg.”
“ Tony… ”
“I know sugarbear, but I gotta get pressed up against some shirtless dudes to try to get Steve out of my head.”
Steve couldn’t listen to the rest of the conversation. His brain was attempting to digest the information it had just been given. From what he surmised, Boston Eagle was one of those hush-pubs Steve remembered being too shy to go to before the serum but spent a lot of time in when he was overseas. And if Tony was going to that kind of bar, then. Maybe?
He heard one more word from the conversation before leaving Tony to the privacy of the conversation: Friday.
Steve knew it was ridiculous. The December wind chilled him to the bone as he stood across the street from a bar with no sign, decorated only with a giant stone eagle above the door. Earlier in the day, he’d been directed here by a kind gentleman he’d seen walking around wearing an enamel pin with the rainbow flag.
This was absolute insanity, he thought as the bouncer waved him through the door.
He went straight to the bar and hovered. There had to be at least two hundred people here. Even if Tony was here, the chances of Steve finding him were so slim. A few men came up to him and asked for a dance. Steve tried to decline as politely as possible but he still felt like a yuck.
Then, by some miracle, Tony emerged from the throng of writhing bodies and headed to the bar. Steve watched Tony’s lithe figure lean up close to the bartender for his order.
He was staring now and he couldn’t help it. Tony had somehow poured himself into leather pants which made his already pert ass impossibly rounder. There wasn’t even room for air between Tony’s legs and the pants. Steve was suddenly thankful that there was a little wiggle room in his jeans because they were starting to get uncomfortably tight in the groin.
“Hi.” Steve shifted from foot to foot, his hands in his pockets.
“Jesus. Are you stalking me?” Tony asked.
“No. What? No.”
Tony pushed away from the bar, his hands falling to his sides. Grabbing Steve by the arm, he dragged him to the corner of the dimly lit club. “Why the fuck are you here? Did my dad send you?”
“No.”
“Why are you lying to me?”
“Jesus.” Steve wrenched his arm out of Tony’s grasp. “Your dad didn’t send me and I’m not stalking you. I heard some… things about this particular bar."
Tony quirked an eyebrow. "And what sort of things did you hear?"
Steve's eyes darted around the dimly lit club; the complete lack of women confirmed the rumors. "That… men." The music rattled his bones. "Come here when they." He swallowed. "When they want to. When they're interested in..."
"Steve, did you come here because you heard it was a gay bar?"
Steve didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He also knew his silence was answer enough. Then something happened that Steve was wildly unprepared for: Tony's face softened, his iron grip relaxing.
"How about we go outside and talk?"
They talked. And then they talked more. Then Tony was hailing a cab where they rode to his apartment in silence. Steve briefly wondered what happened to the friend Tony had promised to pay cab fare for, but he figured Tony would have found some way to let him know he was leaving.
Steve told Tony things he'd never spoken aloud. How he slept with half the USO girls but couldn't figure out why it wasn't like other guys said it was. How he convinced himself he loved Peggy because she really was perfect. How the one kiss they shared solidified his suspicion that he'd never be attracted to women that way. How their romance had been wildly exaggerated.
These confessions seemed to humanize him. The resentment he'd seen on Tony's face since the day they met was gone. For the first time since they'd known each other, Tony was silent. Listening.
It wasn't until it was closer to sunrise than midnight that Tony addressed it.
"No one knows, Steve. About me." Tony seemed nervous, like the seventeen-year-old he was, not the man he pretended to be. "I'm going to keep your secret no matter what. But, uh. Could you not tell my dad?"
"Be kinda difficult to explain how I found out."
A smile peeked out from the corners of Tony's mouth. "Yeah. I guess it would." Steve glanced down at his watch in what he'd hoped was subtle, but of course Tony caught it.
"I can sleep on the couch." Tony gestured towards his room. "I don't think any of my clothes will fit you--"
"They barely fit you."
Tony scoffed. "I'm offering you my bed so you don't have to go to whatever motel you booked yourself into as Roger Stevens."
"I was gonna drive back to New York.”
“Ugh, go sleep.”
“Thank you.”
Steve slunk off to the room. He sat on the edge of Tony's bed, desperately fighting off the urge to look everywhere, to learn everything he could about Tony. The desire to know was turning into a need. It was inappropriate. This whole situation was inappropriate.
He stood to leave. He'd explain himself to Tony after they'd both slept. The night had been long and heavy; the last thing they needed was to follow it up with an uncomfortable morning.
When he opened the bedroom door it was to find Tony on the other side, lips parted, fist raised to knock. The silence was deafening. They stood inches apart.
"Steve?" The way Tony said it made his name sound so beautiful like it had never sounded before. "I have to ask you a question."
"Sure."
"New York is one of the epicenters of queer nightlife. Why did you come to Boston for a gay bar?" Tony's question tightened the knot already constricting his organs. Was Tony really going to make him say it?
"I may have." Steve exhaled, long and slow, hoping to delay the inevitable. Hoping Tony would drop it.
"You may have…" Tony prompted.
"Been looking for someone."
Tony's intake of breath would have been imperceptible if it weren't for Steve's all-consuming attention to every detail of Tony Stark.
"Who?"
Fuck. "You."
Tony leaned in then and kissed Steve. Steve had kissed a few men during the war, fucked several of them. This wasn’t like that. This wasn’t some stranger. This was Tony, and all of the reasons he told himself he couldn’t have this flew out the window as he clutched Tony closer. It had only been a few months since he’d first seen Tony and they hadn’t seen much of each other since, but it felt like they’d been denying themselves this for years.
He yanked Tony further into the room, not breaking their kiss. They tumbled onto the bed, Steve leaving Tony’s mouth to suck a mark on his neck. Even if Tony turned him away, Steve would always remember that he had claimed Tony as his, if only for a few days.
“Fuck, Steve.”
“Does that feel good, doll?” Tony moaned at the pet name.
“Feels so good.”
“You want me to make you feel even better?” Please , Steve silently begged, for the love of god.
Tony’s body stiffened, the slight roll of his hips against Steve’s stopped. “Steve, I…” Tony covered his face with his hands and climbed off Steve’s lap. He flopped onto his back, still holding his face in his hands.
“What is it?” Steve asked, tentatively touching Tony’s leg.
"You'll laugh."
Steve gently pulled Tony's hand away from his face, pressing a kiss to his now exposed palm. "I promise I won't."
Tony groaned, long and low. "I'veneverdonethisbefore."
"Pardon?"
"Don't make me say it again."
Steve kissed each of Tony's fingertips individually, saying nothing. Tony's other hand left his face, flopping the arm over his torso. Steve continued to place kisses along Tony's wrist, up his arm. When they were once again face to face, Steve brushed a wayward curl of hair behind Tony's ear.
"Being with a man is different but good."
"No. I've never done this. At all." Tony chewed on his lip while waiting for Steve's answer.
"Look, Tony." He cupped Tony's face in his hand and pulled him into a soft kiss. "I would be honored to be your first." He planted kisses all across Tony’s face. “But not tonight.”
“Why not?”
Steve kissed him on the mouth one final time. “Because I’m gonna make it special for you.”
“Why?”
Steve smiled. “Because you deserve the best.”