Work Text:
In the six months since Shi Guang teamed up with Yu Liang to win the Hokuto Cup in a bright blaze of glory, he has had a growing sensation that something is not quite right. It’s not anything he can put his finger on, but there’s a definite discomfort that grows and grows; like when wearing a jacket inside out, or wearing shoes the wrong way round.
The week before Yu Liang’s birthday, Shi Guang finds out that Suyong is coming. Yu Liang wants to spend the entire day after his birthday party with him and Shi Guang has to restrain himself from exploding. The worst is that he doesn’t know what emotion he’s exploding with—anger? Sadness? Annoyance?
It’s true that the day Yu Liang wants to spend with Suyong is a Sunday, and Sundays are usually a Shi Guang-Yu Liang day. It’s the one day of the week they manage to find time together without any go club training or family commitments. But Suyong is flying out all the way from Korea . Suyong is Yu Liang’s best friend .
If Hong He or Shen Yilang lived as far away as an entire other country and flew into Fangyuan to celebrate Shi Guang’s birthday, Shi Guang would absolutely make sure he cleared his schedule to spend at least a whole day with them(1). If Yu Liang tried to stop him, Shi Guang would be so seriously angry and would have to reconsider their whole friendship—relationship—thing. Which is why, of course, Shi Guang doesn’t say anything. Yu Liang doesn’t often get to see Suyong. Yu Liang should be able to spend any time he wants with his friends.
It’s not as if Yu Liang doesn’t offer Shi Guang anything in compensation. Fang Xu has promised to book a really swanky hotel room for Yu Liang for the night of his birthday (neither of them are sure why; it’s just karaoke and Yu Liang’s not planning on drinking). Yu Liang says that since he’s not going home anyway, then Shi Guang may as well also spend the night with him.
So it isn’t as if Shi Guang isn’t going to see Yu Liang at all that week. Plus, he’s going to Yu Liang’s party too!
But then it all comes to a head on the night of Yu Liang’s birthday.
They’re in the same bed together, albeit under different blankets lying back to back, just like they did when training for the Hokuto Cup. Yu Liang has switched off the lights, they’ve said their good nights. Shi Guang has even ribbed Yu Liang about his habit of rolling into Shi Guang’s space every time they share the same bed.
But when Shi Guang closes his eyes, he can’t help but help remember something that had happened at karaoke. Fang Xu had obviously gotten a little tipsy. He had half draped himself over next to Bai Chuan, and said something Shi Guang hadn’t ’t entirely made out. A “ something-mumble-something— strip go.”
Shi Guang has played a lot of different types of go. He’s played pairs go, of course, but also blind go where the game is done by memory, go on a twenty-one by twenty-one board and even go where both the white and black stones are played in the same colour. Yet, he’s never ever heard of strip go.
So, he asks, “Yu Liang, are you awake?”
“Mmmmm…?”
“I’m just wondering. How do you think strip go would work?”
He’s met with silence. Shi Guang frowns. He’s sure Yu Liang is awake, otherwise he wouldn't have responded to the first question.
“Eh, Yu Liang, with strip go, do you think—”
“Shi Guang,” Yu Liang says in a strangled voice, “I don’t want to talk about strip go.”
Shi Guang should have let it go at that and gone to sleep. He normally—and with anyone else— would have. After all, it’s something that he can easily baidu(2) in the morning in the anonymity of an internet cafe. And anyway, now that he thinks about it, strip go probably isn’t that mysterious. He has heard of strip poker; it must be something along the same lines.
But his mind won’t let it go. Don’t talk about strip go , Yu Liang had said with such a strange voice. What did it mean? Is Yu Liang embarrassed because he doesn’t know what strip go is? Does Yu Liang want Shi Guang to shut up about it because he doesn’t want to play strip go with Shi Guang? Why is Shi Guang so upset at the idea of Yu Liang not wanting to play strip go?
So, the next day when he catches up for lunch with Hong He and Shen Yilang (in lieu of his usual lunch with Yu Liang) Shi Guang naturally asks the question, “Why doesn’t Yu Liang want to play strip go with me?’
Shen Yilang and Hong He both spit their drinks at the same time.
“Shi Guang, bro , what exactly is your relationship with Yu Liang?” Hong He asks.
Shen Yilang pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Did—did anything happen between the two of you in Korea when you were there for the Hokuto Cup?”
Shi Guang looks at the faces of his two best friends: one incredulous, one concerned then shrugs. “Nothing? I mean we got really good at pairs go—you saw the match right? We killed our opponents. But other than that, Yu Liang's just a good friend.”
Hong He and Shen Yilang exchange a glance.
“A good friend,” Shi Guang repeats slowly and emphatically. “Just like the two of you.”
Hong He chokes. “Okay—okay. Do you want to play strip go with either of us?” He holds up a hand. “Actually, no. Please don’t answer that question.”
Shi Guang frowns. He has actually never considered that. When the words strip go comes to mind, his first thought is that it’d be fun to try it with Yu Liang. Shi Guang can relentlessly pursue Yu Liang’s pieces until Yu Liang is forced to take off his shirt and his pants. Or, better yet, Shi Guang would purposely lose a piece or two and then take off his own shirt in the funniest imitation of a strip tease. He can imagine the way Yu Liang will get flustered. How his ears will go red, then his face, then it will spread all the way down his neck. The way he’ll press his lips together in that way when he’s angry or frustrated.
Shi Guang’s seen Hong He and Shen Yilang naked when they went to the bath house together on their mission to find the best secret go players in all of Fangyuan city before their professional exams. Hong He and Shen Yilang have seen Shi Guang naked too. It’s not like they have anything he doesn’t have and vice versa. He can’t imagine teasing them the same way. Playing strip go with them just won’t be as much fun.
“Good,” Shen Yilang says and there’s something unspoken in the glance he exchanges with Hong He. “I’m glad the two of you are good friends. Good enough that you are excellent at pairs go together.”
“I’m so glad I didn’t go to Korea,” Hong He rubs the back of his neck. “Otherwise I’d have been the biggest third wheel.”
It's a really strange thing for Hong He to say because “a third wheel” means an extra person hanging out with a couple. Maybe what Hong He means is that Shi Guang and Yu Liang’s rapport is so good that hanging out with them would have made him feel like an extra person. Which isn’t true; Shi Guang knows that his rapport with Yu Liang is excellent: world champion level of rapport as a matter of fact—but that doesn’t mean that they would have cast Hong He off to the side. And besides, if Hong He had gone to Korea, then he would be the one playing pairs go with Yu Liang, because Suyong had to withdraw from the competition.
That last thought strikes a note of discord within himself. Shi Guang pushes it away. Hong He is an excellent go player and with a few more weeks of practice between the three of them, will be more than ready for his comeback. He would also have been very good at pairs go with Yu Liang.
Somehow, the thought of Hong He playing pairs go with Yu Liang makes Shi Guang even more uncomfortable.
“It’ll be your year next year,” Shi Guang says and feels a little better. Next year they’ll be back to playing three on three in the Hokuto Cup. No more pairs go.
When Hong He’s dad had been discharged from the neurorehabilitation program, he had insisted that Hong He return to the world of professional go. Lin-laoshi had even been gracious in taking him back as long as Hong He promised never, ever to abandon go again.
It is an all together good thing because Hong He had turned out to be terrible at the ceramic arts. Shi Guang still has the first porcelain thing Hong He successfully made at home, tucked under his bed. He’ll keep it forever of course; it was given to him by Hong He, crafted by Hong He’s own hands. But it’s ugly and lopsided and can’t even function like the pencil holder it was designed to be.
Shen Yilang clears his throat. “Speaking of which, with practice this week...uh do you guys mind if we change it to Tuesday night instead of Wednesday? Bai Xiaoxiao’s last exam is on Wednesday night and I wanted her to surprise her afterwards—”
“Ooooooooooooooh, is this a date?” Shi Guang wriggles his eyebrows and nudges Hong He with his elbow.
But Hong He just laughs awkwardly. “I uh….was going to ask to change the day too. There’s a new movie coming out that day that Cancan really wants to see.”
Shi Guang heaves a melodramatic sigh. “Look at the two of you love birds floating away on the sea of love leaving poor eternal-bachelor me stranded and alone on the raft of singledom.” He clasps his hands to his chest. “What am I going to do on Wednesday without you?”
“I don’t know.” Hong He coughs. “Maybe you can see if Yu Liang is free?”
SHI GUANG: Wanna have dinner Wed night? U can even order udon. ;)
YU LIANG: Sorry, I’m sending Suyong to the airport. :’( Sunday?
When Yu Liang's rejection text comes through, Shi Guang finds himself re-reading the message again and again. He feels strangely....upset? Which is frankly a ridiculous thing to be feeling. Shi Guang has known Suyong’s last day in Fangyuan is on Wednesday. Naturally, Yu Liang will be sending him to the airport. If Hong He or Shen Yilang lived so far away that they have to get on a plane to go home, Shi Guang would make sure he sees them to the airport.
Still the words that blink up at him make him feel just a little on edge, just a little uncomfortable. Like when he’s been walking too long with a pebble in his shoe.
He snaps his flip phone closed. It doesn’t matter. After Wednesday Suyong will be gone far, far away and everything will go back to normal again.
“Shi Guang?”
“Shi Guang.”
“Shi Guang !”
Yu Liang waves his hand in front of Shi Guang’s face. Sure, it’s not unusual for Shi Guang to space out times and stare into the distance. Yu Liang’s even heard him talk to himself on multiple occasions. But it’s really weird for Shi Guang to be this spacey in the middle of a go game.
The thing is that ever since they’ve gotten back from the Hokuto Cup, Yu Liang feels like something is off between them. He can’t remember when the feeling started, but once he’s noticed it, it can’t be ignored. It feels like something is missing; like going out in winter with a coat on but no scarf or gloves. Or trying to eat a bowl of udon noodle soup with only chopsticks and no spoon.
He felt this sense of wrongness most keenly on Monday, when Shi Guang had texted him out of the blue to have dinner on Wednesday night. The text itself was innocuous, and Yu Liang would have been happy to have dinner if it wasn’t Suyong’s last day in Fangyuan. Still, something had felt wrong when he sent his apology text. And the sense of wrongness had grown when Shi Guang didn’t text back.
Which, when Yu Liang sits down and examines everything, is a stupid thing to be feeling off about. Shi Guang is busy, has a whole heap of friends from highschool, from his trainee days and in his go club. There’s no reason to think he'll be upset by Yu Liang turning down dinner with him. Besides, Shi Guang is so easily distractible at the best of times, he’d probably forgotten to text back.
Yu Liang had told himself to forget about it.
But now, sitting in front of Shi Guang with a go board between them, the sense of unease has come back. Is it possible that Shi Guang was mad at him for turning down the dinner invitation?
“Shi Guang,” Yu Liang says slowly. “About Wednesday night, I really am sorry. If I didn’t have to send Suyong to the airport—”
“Yeah, of course, I know.” Shi Guang returns Yu Liang’s words with a too-bright smile. “If it was any of my friends, I'd do exactly the same.”
Shi Guang puts down his next move and Yu Liang knows instantly something is really, terribly wrong. Shi Guang hasn’t made such a rubbish move since that god awful game he played in high school.
“Shi Guang .” Yu Liang reaches across the board and catches Shi Guang’s hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” Shi Guang shakes him off. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Is it about Hong He?”
Hong He is a talented go player, Yu Liang will give him that. But six long months of not touching the go board—it’s hard to make up for that long of a time. It’s expected that his performance will be poor.
Not everyone is Shi Guang after all.
“Hong He? Nah, he'll be fine. I told you we’ve been practising right? The great hero Hong He is ready to return to the Jianghu! Everyone better watch out, hehehehe.”
“Really? Well then, what is it that’s actually bothering you?”
Shi Guang sets his piece down. “It’s your turn, oh great Yu-laoshi.”
Yu Liang’s eyes narrow. Shi Guang is clearly trying to distract him. He picks up a stone and sets it down with a solid clack: a challenge.
Shi Guang picks up his stone and turns it slowly in his fingers. He twists his mouth as he thinks. “Hey...Yu Liang? You know, Suyong? Did you ever play pairs go together?”
Suyong…? Was Suyong's coming here bothering Shi Guang? But Suyong is just a friend.
“No...? You know the first time I played pairs go was for the Hokuto Cup.”
“Ah.” Shi Guang sets down his next piece. This move is a little bit better, though it’s nowhere near enough to make for his previous mistake. “What about...practice?”
“Practice?” Yu Liang frowns. “Well of course we did. We became good friends while I was training in Korea.” He sets down his next move. “We used to practice all the time.”
“....Training in Korea. Oh yeah, you did do that didn’t you....” Shi Guang trails off into an unintelligible mumble. He reaches into his basket, but instead of picking up his next stone, he puts down two. “Okay, I’ve lost this game! You can decide where we have dinner.”
“What?” Yu Liang stares at Shi Guang, then looks down at the board before looking up at Shi Guang again. This was way too early, they’re not even half way into the game. And yes, Shi Guang did make a trash move, but Shi Guang’s signature play is how he can turn an almost hopeless looking game around to win.
“Eh, no point in continuing, I was clearly losing.” Shi Guang stands, grabs his jacket from his chair and pulls it on. He comes to Yu Liang’s side and tugs on his sleeve. “I’m hungryyyyyyyy.”
Yu Liang presses his lips together. Shi Guang admitting he lost the game means there's still definitely something wrong. Shi Guang is being the worst kind of asshole: using all the tricks and lies to not tell the truth. How can Yu Liang help him—how can the game of go they are building between each other grow if he insists on being like this?
“Eh, look at you. Haven’t I told you that if you keep frowning you’ll end up with wrinkles?” Shi Guang rubs a finger in between Yu Liang’s eyebrows and laughs.
Yu Liang jerks back. “Stop messing around. I thought you said you’d trust me, always?”
“Mmm, I did say that. And….”
Yu Liang straightens. Holds his breath for whatever Shi Guang will say.
Shi Guang shrugs and grins. “The truth is that I’m starving. C’mon, c’mon, slowpoke. Let’s gogogoooo! If you don’t have any preferences, there is a ramen place that’s just opened that I want to try”
"We are not having ramen." Yu Liang will just have to get to the bottom of whatever it is Shi Guang is hiding later.
God, that was one of the toughest dinners Shi Guang has ever had to sit through. Yu Liang could be as focussed as a pitbull terrier when he wanted to be, couldn’t he? It took Shi Guang talking a dozen miles a minute, racing through all the topics he could think about, to distract Yu Liang. Shi Guang had even stooped to drawing on school subjects he’s sure Yu Liang hadn’t ever touched—not with a whole childhood spent by a go board and six years in Korea with no school. Who’d have known that Yu Liang had a private tutor with him when he was overseas and was actually better at history, geography and chemistry than Shi Guang was?
In the end though, Yu Liang stopped asking Shi Guang what was wrong. Which was a relief. It isn’t that Shi Guang doesn’t want to tell Yu Liang what is bothering him. It’s just that, even now, Shi Guang still isn’t sure why the idea of Yu Liang practising all those years with Suyong makes him feel weirdly achy and uneasy inside.
By the time he gets back home, it’s dark. Shen Yilang’s spending the night with his family and Hong He has clearly gone to bed early (somehow, in the months away from go, he developed the habit of waking at the crack of dawn and going to bed before nine p.m.—like a grandpa).
Shi Guang puts back Chu Ying’s fan on its special shelf, contemplates it, and sighs.
“Chu Ying, have you ever played strip go?”
The fan doesn’t answer him.
He’s not even sure why he can’t stop thinking about playing strip go with Yu Liang. It’s definitely not the novelty of playing go half naked. He’s been there and done that in the go-in-a-bathhouse-adventure-thing before his professional exams.
It’s just that...sometimes when they play go together, the top button of Yu Liang’s shirt comes undone. And Shi Guang can’t help but stare at it, and wonder what it would be like to undo another button further. When Yu Liang gets flustered, when his blush spreads down his neck, does it spread across his chest too…?
But Yu Liang has made it clear he didn't want to talk about strip go. If Shi Guang keeps asking about it, Yu Liang will probably think that Shi Guang is some kind of pervert.
Shi Guang shakes his head at the fan. “I bet you’d take Yu Liang’s side about this whole thing, wouldn’t you?” Chu Ying had been so shy at the bathhouse where people were actually meant to be sitting around naked because they were bathing . He would probably be scandalised at the idea and yell at Shi Guang about how strip go descretates the game.
Still, it would be awfully nice if Chu Ying were around so Shi Guang can ask him what he thinks is wrong between himself and Yu Liang. Or at least he always knew exactly what to say so that things didn’t feel weird.
“Chu Ying.” Shi Guang curls up in bed, one pillow underneath his head, one pillow hugged around his middle. He looks up in the darkness at the shadowed form of the fan. “I miss you.”
There was once a time that if Yu Liang felt he needed shxiong’s advice, it was easy to find Fang Xu at his bar. Recently, though, it’s been harder and harder to see him there. Tonight, when Yu Liang finds that Fang Xu’s usual spot by the pool tables is again, empty, he circles back to We Da Go Club’s headquarters. It’s late; there’s no practice scheduled for today, and the hallways are empty and dark. But the light in Fang Xu’s office is on. And when Yu Liang walks past the doorway, he sees his shixiong at his desk, pouring over his go board. A glass flask of tea that resembles the one Bai Chuan owns sits at his elbow.
"Shxiong?"
"Xiao Liang!" Fang Xu looks up when he knocks and waves him over. "What are you doing here?"
"Is shixiong preparing for the game with Sang Yuan next week?"
Fang Xu shrugs, scratches his head and laughs. “Well, I definitely can’t lose as badly as I did last year right? But sit, sit. What can shixiong help you with?”
Yu Liang slides down to sit opposite Fang Xu; back straight, hands clenched on his lap. “Shixong—I wanted to ask you about...Shi Guang.”
“Shi Guang? Ah, you’re having relationship problems?”
Relationship problems…? The way Fang Xu says it doesn't seem quite right but Yu Liang supposes that it isn’t incorrect to say that what he and Shi Guang have is a relationship.
“Ever since the Hokuto Cup, things have been weird.”
Fang Xu rubs his chin. “Weird? In what way? Physical or emotional?”
Physical or...emotional?
“Definitely not physical.” Shi Guang likes to hug, likes to loop his arm around Yu Liang’s shoulders, likes to pull on Yu Liang’s sleeve. But Shi Guang is also like that with everyone.
“Then he’s not paying you enough attention? Oh that’s easy.” Fang Xu grins and loosens his tie. “If Shi Guang seems distracted then the best way to get his attention is by flirting.”
“...flirting?”
“Mmmm.” Fang Xu undoes the top button of his shirt and folds one arm behind his chair so the opening of his shirt is stretched a little more wide. “Y’know, show a little skin. Maybe pull some sajiao—”
“S-sajiao?”
Fang Xu frowns. “That’s right you...you don’t know how to sajiao?”
Heat rolls up Yu Liang’s neck. It isn’t that Yu Liang doesn’t know what sajiao is . Shi Guang sajiaos at him all of the time, especially when he’s trying to get Yu Liang to do something Yu Liang doesn't want to do. But the idea of reversing the dynamic gives Yu Liang prickles of anxiety all over. When Shi Guang does it, it’s cute. If Yu Liang is to do it, he will look ridiculous. Shi Guang will laugh at him and never let him live it down.
“Hmmm…” Fang Xu chews on his bottom lip and reaches for the tea.
Besides, it wasn’t inattention that is the problem either. Shi Guang is still happy to hang out with Yu Liang. For dinner, after that go game, Shi Guang had leaned into Yu Liang’s space to grab the slice of pizza the furthest away from him, then slid in close so they ate dinner with thigh pressed against thigh.
It was just that something felt missing. Clearly Shi Guang felt it too, because he is now hiding something from Yu Liang when previously he’d promised to trust him with everything.
Shi Guang is Yu Liang’s good friend. Suyong is also Yu Liang’s good friend. But somehow, what Yu Liang feels about Shi Guang is very different to what he feels about Su Yong. Suyong can be in Seoul while Yu Liang is in Fangyuan and Yu Liang is comfortable knowing that when they meet up again, they’ll be as close as ever.
But when Yu Liang is away from Shi Guang, all he can do is think about him. When Yu Liang is with Shi Guang all he wants to do is make that moment last forever—even though he knows that in seven days or sooner, he’ll see Shi Guang again. Sometimes Shi Guang is infuriating and Yu Liang wants to take his shoulders and shake him. But other times he just wants to put his arms around Shi Guang and make sure he’s okay.
Yu Liang has never felt so strongly about any of his other friends before.
Maybe...what is missing, is that he wants more than just friendship? That he wants something more than simply being go rivals?
“Shixiong.” Yu Liang pushes himself to his feet and bows low. “Can you teach me how...how you finally got together with Bai-laoshi?”
“I—and Bai-Bai Chuan?” Fang Xu chokes. “You know about that?”
There has been a distinctly different energy between shixiong and Bai-laoshi ever since, during Yu Liang’s birthday karaoke Fang Xu had wedged himself beside Bai Chuan, slung an arm over his shoulders, and said, “Do you remember when we played strip go?”
“I’m happy for the two of you,” Yu Liang says. “And I think I want—that is to say, I don’t think I just want to be friends with Shi Guang anymore.”
“Wait— wait —” Fang Xu holds up a hand. “ What do you mean, the two of you aren’t together yet ?”
“I—” Yu Liang opens his mouth and then snaps it shut. Of course they weren’t, if they were, why would he be worried about this?
Fang Xu rubs a hand over his face. “Okay—sorry—I just thought that. The way the two of you were like before the Hokuto Cup then afte r.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Look, let me tell you about something I learned recently. The most important thing with a relationship is being honest with each other and making sure you have clear lines of communication. If you want to be more than friends...maybe you need to ask what Shi Guang wants too?”
Ask what Shi Guang wants too. Shxiong’s suggestion is...logical and reasonable. Yu Liang nods slowly but the idea of it makes his stomach twist tighter than it did before his new pro match with the Tengen, Zhao Bingfeng.
When should he say it? What should he say?
What if Shi Guang says no?
“Good luck.” Fang Xu leans across his desk and pats Yu Liang on the shoulder. “And once the two of you are together, remember: use protection.”
“We’re staging an intervention,” Hong He and Shen Yilang say in unison as they plant themselves on either side of where Shi Guang is sitting on the couch.
Shi Guang sits up. “Eh? What?” He scratches his head. What time is it anyway— “Hey, it’s eight already? Weren’t we going out for dinner?”
Shen Yilang and Hong He exchange a glance.
“This is what we were talking about,” Shen Yilang says slowly. “Shi Guang—”
“—you’ve been spacing out all week!” Hong He leans over and gives Shi Guang’s shoulder a rough shake. “What’s been up with you lately?”
“I don’t think you would have remembered dinner at all, if we hadn’t reminded you.” Shen Yilang adds.
“I—” Shi Guang breaks off. This is unfair. Really, really unfair, especially that last part from Shen Yilang. He has never forgotten to eat, his stomach will always remind him that it needs food in due course.
It’s just that he’s needed to think—a lot—lately. What is wrong with him and Yu Liang? Everything had been great when they had left for Korea. They’d won the Hokuto cup, been excellent at pairs go. Their rapport was insurmountable!
Shi Guang grabs a pillow and hugs it to his chest.
Why did he have to spoil everything by getting weirdly jealous of Yu Liang’s friends? And think about things like playing strip go? Even Yu Liang’s noticed the way his thoughts are going, Shi Guang is sure of it. At the competition this week, Yu Liang wouldn’t even make eye contact with him.
“And here we go again, Shi Guang—Shi Guang are you in there?” Hong He is waving a hand in front of his face.
Shi Guang shakes himself. “Eyyy, I’m not that bad! Besides, even if I forgot what time dinner was, did the two of you go out and eat without me? Some friends you are.”
“We ordered takeout, your portion’s in the kitchen.” Shen Yilang says. “We called you, but you said you wanted to sit on the couch and think for a bit longer.”
Hong He elbows him in the side. “And what was that game that you played this week—”
“Hey, it’s normal to lose a game sometimes—” Shi Guang retorts.
“—to Wang Chong??” Hong He continues. “After you cleaned the floor with him before? You should have heard the way he was trash-talking about you after. And Yu Liang’s face when he heard—”
“ Yu Liang .” Shi Guang shoots up to his feet.
“Shi Guang.” Shen Yilang catches Shi Guang’s wrist. “What happened—what’s wrong? What exactly is going on between you and Yu Liang?”
That is the problem, wasn’t it? What is that sense of discomfort, that sense of something missing almost—when he is with Yu Liang?
Since Hong He and Shen Yilang were absolutely useless that first time, Shi Guang has thought long and hard about who else he can ask. But Wu Di's in the middle of a hectic exam schedule (Shi Guang had taken one glance at it and got palpitations). Gu Yu—it took Jiang Xueming to ask him out after their high school graduation before the two of them were finally a couple. And Shi Guang would rather jump in the lake than ask Jiang Xueming about his strip go problems.
So Shi Guang had turned to his absolute last resort. But at his salon, He Jiajia had waved a pair of scissors at Shi Guang’s face and threatened to cut off his ear, or at least shave him completely bald, if he started whinging about his love life problems.
Which—
—this thing with Yu Liang—
—it wasn’t a love life problem...
...was it?
“I don’t know what’s going on between me and Yu Liang,” Shi Guang says finally.
“I thought you said you were...friends?” Shen Yilang prompts.
“I—” Yes, he and Yu Liang are friends, but it wasn’t exactly that. “I don’t know! I—I just—it feels different?”
“ We know,” Hong He says. “Yu Liang is the person you always think about when you’re apart, even when you know you’re meeting up in a few days anyway.”
“And when you’re together, all you want to do is to make the time last forever,” Shen Yilang says.
Hong He adds, “And then there are times, where you feel jealous of them being around other people even though you know logically there is no reason there to be jealous at all—”
“And so you stop yourself from complaining to him that you’re jealous. Because you know it’ll upset him and the most important thing to you is that he’s happy,” Shen Yilang finishes.
“Hey,” Hong He reaches across Shi Guang and slaps Shen Yilang’s arm. “That last bit’s way too sappy, man.”
“How—” Shi Guang turns to Shen Yilang then back to Hong He. “How did you guys know? It’s like...like the two of you reached into my head and pulled my thoughts out?”
“Idiot,” Shen Yilang says and affectionately ruffles the back of Shi Guang’s head. “This is how I feel about Bai Xiaoxiao.”
“....And how I feel about Cancan—ugh.” Hong He buries his head in his hands. “God this is so embarrassing. The two of you better not say anything about this to anyone else, especially to Cancan —”
Shen Yilang laughs. “Alright, promise. On our honour as brothers.”
Shi Guang turns Hong He and Sheng Yilang’s words in his head. This is what they feel towards Cancan and Bai Xiaoxiao. But that means that what he wants, what he feels about Yu Liang is—
Oh.
" Finally!! " Hong He says, "Bro, do you know how painful it was watching you sit there with the wheels turning aimlessly in your head without you ever getting it?"
Shen Yilang gently nudges Shi Guang. “And now that you do know, you should probably let Yu Liang know too.”
Shi Guang’s stomach flips. “But what if this isn’t what Yu Liang wants?”
"Isn't what Yu Liang wants?" Shen Yilang looks at Hong He and they both burst out laughing.
SHI GUANG: We still ok for Sunday right?
SHI GUANG: I have smthng important to tell u
SHIGUANG: Yu Liang?
YU LIANG: Ok.
YU LIANG: I have something important to tell you too
Shi Guang’s hands are sweaty. His heart thumps harder than that first rematch he was supposed to have with Yu Liang. The one where he thought Yu Liang had stood him up, only to find out late it was because Yu Xiaoyang had ended up in hospital.
Except this time Yu Liang is sitting across from him. And Shi Guang isn’t sure if he can say what he wants to say through his go.
It doesn’t help that Yu Liang looks like he doesn’t want to be here at all. He’s pale. He keeps looking down and avoiding eye contact. Doing that thing with his mouth when he’s super nervous.
Oh God what if—
—What if Yu Liang wants to break up with him?
Shi Guang picks up a basket of stones. Is it even possible to break up when they aren’t even, something yet?
“We—we should play. A game that is,” Shi Guang says. Screw confessions of feelings. Maybe it will just be better if he lets things go back to the way they were. (If they can go back to where they were.)
“No.” Yu Liang bites his lip and puts his hands on top of Shi Guang’s. His palms are clammy.
It must be really bad if Yu Liang doesn’t even want to play go.
“You said you had something important to say.” Yu Liang ducks his gaze down. “I....also have something important to say.”
“Heh, okay.” Shi Guang chokes out a fake laugh. “Why don’t we say it together then?” Because if Yu Liang wants to break up with him, Shi Guang isn’t don’t he’ll be able to say anything after.
“Okay.” Yu Liang nods, eyes wide and earnest. “Let’s count down...three...two...one…”
“I want to be more than just friends.”
“I want to play strip go with you—”
“What?”
Shit. No that wasn’t what Shi Guang meant to say. Now Yu Liang’s going to think he’s a sleazy pervert who always thinks about strip go and just wants to get into Yu Liang’s pants. And while, like, that isn’t exactly untrue , Shi Guang wants more than just that. He wants to spend more time together. He wants to maybe kiss, and hold hands and—
Wait. What had Yu Liang said?
I want to be more than just friends.
“You...want...more than just friends?” Shi Guang feels those words out in his mouth. “More than just friends. Like…like boyfriends?”
Yu Liang’s cheeks flush a mottled pink. He looks away and gives a stiff, jerking nod.
“I…” A slow smile spread across Shi Guang’s lips. He puts his other hand over where Yu Liang’s is still resting over his. “That’s what I wanted to say. That’s what I want too.”
CODA:
“So, you’ve also always wanted to play strip go with me,” Shi Guang asks.
“Yes,” Yu Liang says.
“Always?”
“Yes?”
“Strip go, with me?”
“ Yes .” Yu Liang’s ears glow bright red. He swats at a Shi Guang who’s very recently sans shirt. “Focus on the game or else I’ll still be full clothed by the time you’re naked.”
“Ehehehe,” Shi Guang chuckles to himself as he focuses back on the board. “Maybe I’m doing this on purpose in order to seduce you…” He sets down his piece. “But I don’t get it. If you wanted to play strip go with me, then why did you tell me to shut up in the hotel room, on your birthday?”
This time, Yu Liang’s whole face turns red.
“What, were you shy?”
“No,” Yu Liang says between clenched teeth. “It’s just that. I—I am very happy for Bai-laoshi and shixiong, but I would rather not dwell on what they choose to do in their own private time.”
Shi Guang blinks. Bai Chuan and Fang Xu? He thinks back to that birthday karaoke night. How Fang Xu had almost draped himself on top of Bai Chuan and said: “I remember now, we once played strip go!”
Wait.
Bai-laoshi and Xu-ge had played...strip go...together…? But that meant that—
Now, it was Shi Guang’s turn to blush. "Yu Liang—why did you say that, it’s such a mood killer!”
“What do you mean??? You’re the one who brought it up first??!!!”