Chapter Text
A tense silence surrounded the pair as they walked up to what Light assumed would have to be a shared bedroom. L had made it quite clear that Light was not to leave his side until he was sure that the brunette was not Kira. And Light had a feeling that would be a long time.
Staring down at the patterned carpet, Light resisted the urge to cry. Today had been simply awful. His head was still reeling from his near death experience. He felt as if the gun were still in front of his face, and that he was about to be shot at any given time. And Light wouldn’t put it past L to simply just off him, the bastard. The only reason L had not harmed Light further was only due to the fact that the rest of the task force was present. His father included. If not for them, Light was sure that he would be forced to endure medieval torture rituals until L got his confession.
L was just so convinced Light was Kira, like he knew something Light didn’t. And this confused Light greatly.
Sure, their were a lot of suspicious events surrounding himself. But he knew he never killed anyone, he just knew that. He was sure he would remember committing murder. Despite what he had said at the beginning of his confinement. Light wasn’t even sure why he had said that. Why he had even allowed his mind to be convinced that L knew more about him than he himself did.
No, it was just a coincidence that he lived in the Kanto region when Lind L. Tailor had died. He had been watching the broadcast, innocently, when the man had simply slumped over and died. He hadn’t done anything that would have led to his demise, had he? No, that was impossible. If one was to commit murder, they would surely purposefully perform the act. Light still wasn’t even sure how Kira killed his victims without being present, how was that even possible?
And it was just a coincidence that the FBI agent who had been following him had died. Eleven other agents who weren’t following him had died as well! Kira could be one of those suspects, why didn’t L even consider that? Light hadn’t even of known he was being followed, how could he possibly kill the man? L just seemed to have it out for him.
*Maybe he’s just jealous of how popular I am.* Light thought this silly thought, before inwardly banishing it. L, the world’s greatest detective, would surely never be jealous.
And Misa…okay, yes, that did look bad. Light could admit that. Since her DNA had been found on the second Kira tapes, it made complete sense that L suspected her. But that didn’t mean Light was guilty just by association. He didn’t even really like Misa, why would he become Kira with her? No, Light had been casually dating Misa solely because the girl was insistent. He hadn’t of even known that Misa liked or supported Kira. He dated many girls after all, he didn’t have time to keep track of every single one of them.
*Maybe I was framed!* Light suddenly thought, and knew he should share this deduction with the detective. Even though L would probably shoot it down, it did make sense. Could Misa be framing him? Light didn’t think so, but a theory slowly started forming in his mind.
It did seem very likely that Misa was the second Kira, considering her DNA was literally on the evidence that the second Kira had touched. And why would that be? Maybe Misa knew who the first Kira was, and was doing this to protect him. Maybe they had simply selected Light as a scapegoat, knowing it would be easy to pin the suspicious events on him.
Or maybe, Misa was even being framed. She certainly didn’t seem smart enough to be able to pull off an elaborate scheme like that. But who would want to frame the both of them?
Light was well-liked and respected by everyone, he was the son of the police chief for goodness sake! He had no enemies, none that he was aware of anyway.
As L pushed open the bedroom door, Light hesitated. He really didn’t want to be alone in a room with a strange man. One who, God knows how, had convinced Light’s father to scare him half to death. He had no idea what L was capable of.
*Why would my father ever allow this to happen?* Light inwardly seethed. Soichiro Yagami would definitely not be receiving any ‘father of the year’ award for allowing Light to be chained to someone who was, for the most part, a complete stranger.
The raven-haired man noticed that Light was making no move to move forward, and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. He tugged on the chain, harshly, which almost sent Light stumbling over. Luckily, since he feet had been planted firmly into the ground, he caught himself.
Scowling, he glared up at L’s pale face. “What the hell? I’m not a dog, you know.” Light snapped, before inwardly cringing. He should probably not try and provoke this man. Who knew what L was like if he got annoyed enough? Light cursed his smart mouth.
“Light-kun was making no indication that he would be moving forward.” L drawled. “I would very much like to get back to working, if you don’t mind.”
Light glared and stalked into the room. He willed his mouth to not make any more retorts, but words spilled from his mouth anyways. “Well if you don’t like waiting for me, you shouldn’t have chained yourself to me.” Light complained, glancing around disinterestedly at the master suite.
“I would not have had to resort to such extreme measures if Light-kun was not Kira.” L’s eyes glinted. “Maybe he should just confess, and save everyone the trouble.”
Light narrowed his eyes, and snapped out another unsavory reply. “I’m not confessing to something I didn’t do. Because, then I actually would be lying!” And L just stared back at him, owlishly.
“Light-kun should not lie when it is just the two of us. I know exactly who you are.” L drawled lowly, stalking up to the brunette. Light gulped and tried not to step back, not wanting L to know how afraid of him he was. “There are no camera’s in this room, you know. Whatever is said in here will be kept in complete secrecy.”
Light rolled his eyes. How stupid did L think he was? If he was Kira-which he wasn’t!-why would he confess to that to L himself? Plus, surely there were camera’s in this room. Why would L take the risk of Light doing something suspicious and not having it recorded?
L was such a liar. But if he was telling the truth….Light felt a tremor of fear run through him.
“No camera’s? Does that mean..” Light gulped, because L was still staring at him blankly in quite a close range. “You could, hypothetically, kill me and say it was in self defense?”
L’s expression morphed into one of wicked glee. “I am no murderer, Light. That’s you.” He then brought up a hand to cup Light’s jaw and forced Light to look him directly in his sleep deprived eyes. “You’re projecting, I see.”
Light quickly wrenched himself away from L’s grip and took two mighty steps back. He was quite uncomfortable with the other man’s close proximity, and did not like it one bit. “So it’s okay to have people’s father’s pretend to shoot them? But murder is where you draw the line?” He snapped, ruffled. He couldn’t help it, he was still very upset about that fact.
His own father, someone who was supposed to love Light unconditionally, had made an attempt on his life. No matter how fake, Light could’ve even been the one to have a heart attack! Simply from the fear of it all. And it’s not like that genius plan was free of risk, plenty of things could’ve gone wrong!
L smile disappeared and he shuffled past Light into the bathroom. “That was simply a test.” He stated. Light felt his blood boil.
“Some test!” Light snapped angrily, unwillingly being led by L into the bathroom. “What if I had actually been shot?”
“Then Kira would’ve been effectively stopped.” L smiled, before it faded into a frown upon seeing Light’s angry expression. “Too soon?”
“Stop saying I’m a mass murderer L!” Light spat. “You can keep it to yourself, I get it.” Light angrily walked up to the sink and gripped it tightly. “Where’s a stupid toothbrush? I hope you have one, because obviously I wasn’t allowed to bring MINE.”
L ignored Light’s anger and instead pulled out a newly packaged toothbrush and some toothpaste. “There is face wash on the counter as well.” He stated in a bored tone. “I know which kind Light-kun likes, you’re welcome.”
Light just stared back in astonishment. “Yeah, thank you.” He snapped hatefully. “How ever could you have gotten that information? Probably from spying on me illegally!”
L stayed deathly quiet, which unsettled Light and led to him quickly brushing his teeth. He decided to take out his aggression on his gums, and by the end of the task he was bleeding.
“Light-kun’s gums are bleeding.” L stated the obvious, and Light ignored him.
As he let the warm water run over his face, he felt as if he were drowning. Trying not to flinch, he simply garbed a towel hastily and dried his face off.
*Get ahold of yourself, you can’t loose it!* He mentally scolded himself. If he were to start acting mad, L would have even more reason to suspect him of being Kira.
Light just couldn’t shake that feeling that he was going to die, or that someone was out to harm him. It clung to his skin like a parasite, and wormed it’s way into his brain. He only wished he could silence those nagging thoughts.
*L’s going to kill you…he’ll poison you…he’ll suffocate you in your sleep! Or he’ll have your father come in and finish the job.* His brain mocked him. Light slightly shook his head and blinked away a sudden wetness that had made it’s way into his eyes.
When had Light become so paranoid? This afternoon surely hadn’t affected him this much, had it? Light, attempting to ignore the sick swirl of emotions in his stomach, simply shut off the bathroom light. L followed.
When Light was only a few steps from the bed, L suddenly grasped his arm and whirled him around roughly. Light, startled, took a few steps back to attempt and break free. But L just simply backed him up into the bed, until he was standing with his legs pressed against the mattress.
“Two things.” L growled, staring at Light menacingly. “Light will not speak unless spoken to. Light will also cease his whining, for it is grating my nerves.”
Light glared back indignantly at the man, willing himself not to shrink under L’s glare. Light was not about to let himself be bullied into submission like a weak pet!
“I’m not whining!” He snapped. L cocked his head.
“The only response to my statement should be a polite nod.” L sighed. “Usually, Light, you are so polite. I do not appreciate the fact that you allow this facade to slip around me. I do not much care for this rude Light.”
Light gaped, how was he being rude?
Before he could indignantly shout at L again, L pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. Seemingly having read the boys thoughts. “I have dealt with brats before, and I am not afraid to deal with you.” He firmly told Light, eyeing him as if he were some disgusting vermin. “I do not put up with insolence. I will tame you, if that’s what it takes. And I doubt you would enjoy that.”
Something about the dark tone of L’s voice and his threat made all indignations die in Light’s throat. He absolutely hated when someone would get cross with him. He absolutely hated being scolded and punished. He had ever since he was a child. That was why he was always so well behaved, and voiced most of his rude comments inside of his own head.
L just had a way of bringing out the worst in him.
But Light was tired and still felt like he was about to cry. So, swallowing his pride, he obediently nodded like he had been instructed to do. He looked down at the floor and heard L sigh.
The other man then sat down in bed, making Light frown. He wanted to change out of his clothes, how did L expect him to do that with the chain? Did he expect Light to sleep in his casual going out clothes? Light nearly shuddered at the uncomfortable prospect. He knew there had to be pajamas lying around here somewhere, he had instructed his father to bring some after all.
L looked up at Light, and narrowed his eyes. “Sit.” He ordered. “You wanted to sleep, didn’t you?”
Light hesitated. He didn’t want to have L threaten him again, but he also wanted to change into comfortable clothes.
And L did say he should speak when spoken too. And L had just asked Light a question. So Light, still wary of the detective, decided to hesitantly voice his inner thoughts.
“I need to change into night clothes?” He meant to tell L this fact, but it came out as a question.
L actually had the nerve to roll his eyes, but still stood up and walked over to Light. “Ah, of course.” He mumbled, unlocking the cuff. “Get to it then.”
Light just continued to stand in the middles of the room, staring at L awkwardly. “Did my father bring any of my clothes here?” He asked, trying not to sound annoyed.
“Yes, they are in that drawer.” L pointed behind Light to the dresser, and Light couldn’t help himself from scowling. How was he supposed to know that’s where his clothes would be? He had never even been inside of this room before!
As he was rifling through his clothes in the drawer, L decided to comment on Light’s scowl. “Light-kun should not allow such nasty expressions to fall over his face, he might attract wrinkles.”
Light bit his cheek so hard that he thought he tasted blood, and remained silent. He could hear the smirk in L’s voice, and this greatly annoyed him. However, he would not entertain L with a response. He was much too worn out.
Pulling out a black pull-over and grey sweatpants, he frowned. THIS was the extent of night clothes his father had brought him? Where were his satin pajamas? Light attempted to swallow his anger.
*If you want something to be done right, you have to do it yourself.* He sighed inwardly. He couldn’t even trust his father not to kill him, not anymore. He shouldn’t have expected the man to respect his fashion style.
Light turns to make his way back over to the bathroom, but L’s voice stops him cold in his tracks. “Where is Light-kun heading off to?” L inquires, though his deep tone of voice made it sound like a threat.
“T-the bathroom?” Light mumbles back, cursing himself for stuttering. Why has L suddenly gotten him so flustered?
“I cannot watch Light-kun if he goes into the bathroom, alone. And I do not feel like getting up off this bed, I am much too comfortable.” L explains to Light slowly, as if he is a child. “Light-kun may change in here, where I may see him.”
“No!” Light shouts, forgetting his fear of the other man temporarily. Is L really this socially inept? It is just simply not polite to change garments in the presence of others, Light knows this. And it is most inappropriate to stare at someone’s naked form. Is L trying to embarrass him? Intimidate him? Or does he really think that Light will have no issue about stripping in front of his captor? The more Light thinks about the situation, the more ridiculous it all seems.
“Yes.” L looks up from his laptop now, cocking his head. “I will not risk Light-kun attempting to murder me whilst my back in turned.”
“But that’s not fair!” Light squeaked. He was humiliated. “I’m still a human being, aren’t I? I deserve basic rights, like privacy!”
L brought his thumb to his mouth, and continued to stare at him coldly. “Murder…suspects,” He added that last part almost as an after thought, making Light’s blood boil even harder. “loose those rights during investigations. Or at least, they do in mine.”
“Well that’s totally illegal.” Light frowned.
L shrugged. “It’s also why I've never lost a case.” He simply stated. “I will do whatever it takes to catch Kira, Light-kun. I do not care how outlandish my actions seem. Please try and grasp this concept, for it will help you in moving forward with this investigation.”
Light just narrowed his eyes. “Then I won’t change.” He challenged L, smirking. Even though inwardly, he was panicking. Sleeping in his daytime clothes would be quite uncomfortable, and he did not want his pants to become wrinkled!
L smiled a small smile, startling Light. L was not one to smile, and his smiles were quite creepy. Light felt as if he were actually in the presence of a monster, and one who wanted to eat him alive. “If that is Light-kun’s wish, it matters not to me.” He then beckoned Light over with a long, pale finger. “Now then, let’s reattach these handcuffs.”
Light, ever the proud bird, strutted over to the dresser. He regretfully put the more comfortable clothes back into the drawer, looking down at them forlornly. He then gathered as much dignity as he could, and strutted back over to L. He held his head high and tried not to waver under the other man’s stare.
L just stared at him in amusement, before locking the cuff around Light’s wrist once again. He then turned his now stoic gaze over to his laptop, leaving Light to hesitantly crawl into bed.
Light knew there was no use in fighting over the sleeping arrangements, for the cuffs would not allow the pair to reside in different beds.
*Plus, L never sleeps anyway. He’ll be awake on that damn laptop the whole time.* Light comfortingly thought to himself. *Therefore, this isn’t weird.* Still, he stiffly laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. He wondered if L could sense the tension rolling off of him.
And he doesn’t have his melatonin, either. Light closed his eyes and tried not to sigh despondently, tried not to show how weak and pitiful he actually is feeling. He thinks of asking L if Watari has sleeping pills, but he doesn’t. L would probably yell at him for speaking without purpose. Or, call him a junkie and then raise his percentage five percent.
Without even realizing it, Light has rolled on to his side and is now lying in a fetal position. The chain is quite tight around his wrist, but he doesn’t care. He hates this, he hates sleeping in strange beds. He misses his soft cotton bedsheets that smell like lavender. He misses the soft sounds that come from living in a suburban area. He misses tightly wrapping himself inside of HIS comforter that he’s had since he was a mere child. He misses normalcy.
He misses having control, and having his perfect routine to get him through the day. He misses being certain about his life, he misses the confidence that used to exude from Light Yagami. How has he fallen so far from grace?
It seems one day, he was just a bright college student on his way to becoming a highly respected detective. And now, here he lies like some weeping hostage next to a stranger. A stranger who orchestrated a fatal break in the relationship between him and his father.
And Light still cannot figure out how his father could’ve agreed to this? Does he really believe in Light’s innocence so little? Did no one think of the lasting consequences? If life was at all fair, Light would be sitting in therapy right now. He wants to be mollycoddled, and feels he deserves that. He deserves sympathy, and he craves comfort.
But there is nothing comforting in this desolate room, nothing along with this ominous presence that is seated besides him.
The incessant typing of L’s keyboard will keep him up. He wants to tell L to silence his ministrations, but he really doesn’t think he could sleep even if he tried.
This is all just so wrong. He is Light Yagami, one of Japan’s best and brightest. And now he is being detained and manhandled as if he is some sort of deplorable criminal? He thinks it quite unfair that all of these horrid events have just been released on him, especially considering his age. Light should be enjoying college, enjoying the freedom that comes with turning eighteen. Instead, he feels enfeebled. Like he is a mere child, and has lost all control of anything and everything.
Light is exhausted and filled with anxiety simultaneously. His eyes feel heavy and yet his breathing is quite erratic. He hopes L doesn’t notice. He clutches on to the bedsheets, trying to find something to ground himself. He snuggles his head into the pillow, it smells like a hotel. It all feels so impersonal. He craves affection from his mother right now. God, how he misses Sachiko.
*She would have never pretended to shoot me.* Light thinks bitterly, but even that thought is filled with doubts. He always felt as if his mother had loved him more than his father. Sachiko had been the one who was the most affectionate to Light. And for someone as touch-starved as himself, he appreciated this dearly. She was the parent who always asked about his school day, and actually cared about the answer. She had always been there for advice, and her encouraging words had affected Light in ways his mother would probably never even know.
And that’s why Light loved his mother so much. Because everyone liked Light Yagami, but his mother loved him. And Light knew that she was the only one.
Before this shooting, Light had always felt his father’s absence. And, sure, he could blame it on his father’s line of work. But it was more than that, and Light knew it. His father had been content to praise Light from a distance, to be a father to him from a distance. He had let Sachiko raise Light, and only appeared when he was needed. Soichiro treated Light like a specimen, like a project he had succeeded in creating. He expected perfection out of his only son, and Light supplied that readily. For that was the only way to earn his father’s validation, which his subconscious knew he deeply craved.
But, now, could his father ever be proud of him again? Even when he was proven not to be Kira, would that doubt always linger?
*And if mom found out, God forbid-* Light didn’t think he could handle his mother’s disappointed stare. Her newfound wariness that would surely come if she found out Light was a suspect would make him positively suicidal. He didn’t want his mother to think of him as a heartless murderer! He wanted her to reassure him that she knew, without a doubt, that he could never be Kira.
*Maybe you are.* His thoughts mocked. But Light knew he wasn’t, these were just intrusive thoughts. He had learned about them in his high school psychology class. But, oh God. *Does this mean I’m having some sort of anxiety attack?*
Light’s logic and reasoning told him that this was probably the case, but his pride denied it. He clenched his teeth and desperately tried to slow his breathing. He screwed his eyes shut and payed for sleep. But alas, sleep just did not seem to be in the cards for him on that particular night.
Usually when Light couldn’t sleep, he would take a sleeping aid. Or make himself tea and watch some idle kids movie to lull himself to sleep. But none of those things were accessible to him at the moment. And he was sure L wasn’t feeling nice enough to allow Light tea, or anything else that would help him fall asleep. L was a sadistic detective, who surely wanted Light’s stay to be miserable and uncomfortable.
*He probably would enjoy my sleepless state.* Light groused to himself, glaring at the back of his eyelids. *He’d try and force some kind of false confession from me, while I was tired out of my mind!* No, that would never do. Light would have to request a sleeping agent from Soichiro the first chance he got tomorrow.
He hugged his torso with his two arms tightly, and was struck with how lonesome that particular action was. He couldn’t help it, he felt too small in this moment. He felt a wetness prick at his eyelids, and cursed himself again. Light Yagami never cried! Well, not in front of others anyway. And certainly not in front of strangers such as L. But as he was stripped of his privacy at the moment, he had no where to run and hide. He was left to lay under the sheets and try to desperately muffle his sobs.
One could not even tell that Light was crying, unless they looked over and observed Light’s shaking form. But L, being ever observant, did notice.
“Is Light-kun quite alright?” L’s inquiry broke Light out of his thoughts, making his shaking stop. Light was struck with how odd L’s voice sounded, it came across almost as..comforting? Light swallowed, angry that his distress had been found out.
“Yes.” He breathes out heavily, knowing that L wants a response. And he knows L wants the truth, but like hell Light is going to give it to him. He doesn’t want L to get any kind of pleasure from his suffering.
“Why are you crying?” L asks again, attempting to sound comforting.
“I’m not…” Light mumbles, lying again. “…just tired, that’s all.” He knows that L is aware of this lie, but he doesn’t care. It should be fairly obvious why he’s crying, anyway.
“Light-kun fibs about the silliest things.” L muses, making Light involuntarily clench his fists. “This only makes your Kira percentage go up, you know. Does Light even know how to tell the truth?”
This makes Light roughly turn onto his other side to face the detective. Even though it is dark, L can see from the light of the computer that Light has indeed been crying. Light tries to muster up his nastiest glare. “You-“ He starts angrily, but is quickly cut off by L’s stern expression sliding from the computer screen to his face. Light sighs, realizing he doesn’t even have the energy to be angry.
“It doesn’t matter whether or not I’m crying.” He dismisses, trying to ignore the shame coursing through his body. “Don’t tell me wanting to hide my feelings makes me more Kira like. If anything, this makes me Kira less so. Would a heartless murderer ever cry?”
“Well, why are you crying?” L presses on. “Kira might cry, if he were realizing that he will be defeated.”
Light turns over, back away from the detective. “I don’t want to tell you that.” He mutters, defiantly.
“You should.” L replies instantly. “I do not think I have witnessed Light-kun showing emotion, ever. This is quite interesting to me.”
Light feels a vein pulse in his forehead. *Of course he would find my suffering interesting, as if I am some kind of science experiment.* He wishes L would leave him alone, he misses the silence and keyboard tapping.
“…I miss my mother.” Light finally reveals, settling for a half-truth. He thinks that if he gives L an answer the detective will be satisfied and leave Light alone with his thoughts.
“I see.” L replies tonelessly. *That sociopath probably doesn’t even understand why I would be missing her.* Light thinks bitterly. “Light-kun may speak with her on the phone tomorrow, if he wishes. Of course, these communications will have to be monitored.”
“No!” Light responses quickly, not thinking about his words. “I don’t want you knowing who my mother is, just to turn her against me too!”
There is a long moment of silence, in which Light thinks the detective has finally decided to leave him alone. But he has no such luck, as L speaks to him once more. “Ah. So this is really about Light’s bitter feelings towards what happened today.”
“So what?” Light responds petulantly. “I’m allowed to be upset about it. It’s my feelings, anyway.”
“Light-kun is attempting to guilt trip me, hoping I will take pity on him and release him of this confinement early?” L drones.
Light feels anger flare up inside of himself once again, and turns back around to stare at L heatedly. “You're such a condescending asshole!” Light snaps, forgetting that he is meant to act polite. “Of course you wouldn’t understand why I miss my mom. But you don’t have to be such a dick about it!”
“Light, watch your temper.” L hisses dangerously.
These words make Light laugh humorlessly, forgetting himself. “So now I’m not even entitled to my own feelings?” He whispers spitefully. “Not everything is about this case, or about you L. I’m…sad.” He spits out the last word, despite himself.
“Well, I am sorry for that.” L replies, not sounding the lest bit genuine.
“You’re not.” Light dismisses. Feeling a sudden surge of honesty, his eyes wander up to L’s stoic face. Weary, sad amber eyes meet dark grey ones. “What will you do when you realize that I am not Kira?”
L snorts. “That is not very likely.”
“But I’m saying it is.” Light argues. “Because I myself KNOW I am not him. So will you feel remorse? When you realize you’ve put an innocent person through needless trauma?”
“IF I find that the real Kira is not Light-kun-“ L begins. “I will regret wasting time and resources on a incorrect theory. But, I never have incorrect theories. I know who you are, Light.”
“You don’t know me at all.” Light hisses, feeling insulted that L would even speak such a ludicrous thought.
“Does that bother Light-kun?” L asks, biting down on his thumb. “He must think he is a rather complex person, yes? Well, no matter how unreadable he thinks he is, I can see right through him. I mean this as no insult, just as a fact. Being who I am, you cannot be surprised that I have learned how to expertly read others.”
*Narcissist.* Light mentally rolls his eyes. “I don’t care.” Light replies flippantly. But he does. “You must not be too good at mind-reading, if you can’t even understand why I am upset."
“No need to get snippy, Light.” L scolds, making the vein in his head pulse yet again. “You are upset because you have lost control. And because despite your best efforts, I have not been swayed into believing your innocence.”
“You had my father try to fucking SHOOT me!” Light suddenly sits up, close to screaming at the infuriating detective. “How could I not be upset?”
“But you were not shot.” L points out, shooting a glare in Light’s direction. “No need to harp on the matter anymore. And look on the bright side, that test proved your innocence to the task force.”
Light just stares back at L, infuriated by his uncaring words. “It didn’t.” He finally mutters, laying back down. “My father hates me.”
L all but scoffs, hiding this with a cough. “Soichiro Yagami does not hate his own son. He loves you, Light.”
“Then why would he even think of shooting me?" Light response miserably. “Obviously, it’s because he had doubt. And no matter what, now he’ll always look at me differently. He’ll never be sure that I’m not capable of murdering, even when we do catch the real Kira.”
“You’re father offered himself for this task, because of how much he believed in your innocence.” L tells him, but Light is not persuaded.
“Whatever. You don’t know my life, L. You don’t know my responsibilities and you don’t know my father as well as you claim. I’m supposed to succeed and excel, not be suspected of heinous crimes. I wasn’t raised that way. And I know, no matter what he says, that my father is disappointed in me.”
L stays silent, just continuing to study the brunette. “Light-kun's father has high expectations of Light, yes?” He finally asks.
Light scoffs, clearly L is attempting to psycho-analyze him. “Sure.” Is all he offers, sullenly glaring at the the ceiling.
“Is that why Light misses his mother so?” L muses out-loud. “Because she was less demanding then his father?”
“…She’s the only one who cares about me.” Light finally admits.
“That is hardly the case.” L dismisses. “I have seen the amount of people who admire you. Light does not need to act so coy. What about Misa-san?”
“She doesn’t even know me.” Light scoffs. “She loves me for my looks, my image. Just like everyone else.”
L is silent, so Light continues. “My mom was always proud of me, no matter what. She cared more than just how much I succeeded in school. She…talked to me. Like I was her son, not some prized pet project.”
“So Light-kun values genuine human connection.” L muses out loud.
“Who doesn’t?” Light replies. “I’m sure not many would be satisfied with only receiving love for their accomplishments.”
L hums in response. “It must be lonely at the top.”
Light rolls his eyes, assuming L is patronizing him again. “I don’t know what your talking about.” He responds, not able to come up with any other argument.
“I think I’m beginning to get the picture.” L muses, more to himself.
“Huh?” Light asks, confused about L’s most recent utterance.
“Oh, nothing.” L dismissed. Light was sure that even in the darkness of the room, he could make out a very evil sparkle in the other man’s eyes. “Light-kun should speak to his mother tomorrow, if he misses her so. I insist.”
Light shook his head passionately, that same irrational anxiety filling him up again. “No, I’ll manage.” He insisted. “I am an adult, after all.”
“You really don’t act like it.” L muttered, mainly to himself. But Light still caught his secretive comment and clenched his teeth.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Light snapped angrily. L gave a small huff of amusement.
“Light-kun’s pettiness is quite child-like.” L explained. “Also, Kira is a childish criminal. The response he gave to my first challenge was very-“
“Oh my God, will you shut up about that!” Light shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I am NOT-“
Before he could finish that redundant sentence, he suddenly felt all the air leave his lungs. Before he could fully register what had happened, he had been pushed onto his back. L was now hovering over him, with his hands tightly gripping Light’s wrists. Light, panicking, started trying to squirm out of the insomniac’s hold. But, to no avail. He could barely even move with L’s grip being so strong.
He gulped noisily and attempted to shrink back into the bed. He had never imagined L to be so strong, so terrifying. Light had never seen this side of L. And he hated it.
“You will not interrupt me while I am speaking, understood?” He growled lowly, making the goosebumps on Light’s skin appear rapidly. Blinking away tears, Light nodded fearfully.
“C-can you get off?” Light whispered. He was angry with how fearful he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. L made no move to release him and Light wondered if the man was actually going to hurt him. At this point, he wouldn’t put it past L.
“Ask nicely.” L ordered, somehow making his tight grip around Light’s wrist grow even tighter.
*Is he serious?* Light thought to himself angrily. “If you kill me, my father will see to it that you’re brought to justice.” Maybe not the smartest thing to have said, but Light felt it was necessary.
L was such a hypocrite, pretending he was on justice’s side. If L truly cared about all things good and morale, Light doubted he would currently have an eighteen year old pinned down on his bed.
L just smiled down at him, but his grip did not lessen. “You’re cute, for a murderer.” He commented idly, making Light’s heart race somehow even faster.
“H-huh?” Light uttered, hoping he had heard L wrong. But L didn’t say it again.
“I would never kill Light-kun.” Was what L chose to tell him instead.
“And why would I trust that.” Light scowled, trying his hardest to rebuild his confident mask.
“Because you don’t have a choice. You’re the one chained, Light.”
“So are you!” Light pointed out furiously. L cocked his head.
“But only because I allowed myself too.” L replied simply. “I am in control, not the other way around. Surely, you can see the difference of power between us.”
And as much as it pained Light to admit, L was right. Light was the prisoner, and L was his captor. Except, this was a legal confinement. Just as the first one had been. L was the world’s greatest detective, in charge of the entire Kira task force. And Light was just a college student. It didn’t matter how smart or perfect he was, for that would not help him in any way in this scenario. The point was, if L said he was Kira Light was as good as Kira. The only reason he hadn’t been sentenced to death was because there was no physical evidence, no one knew how Kira killed.
*L could have me hung.* Light fearfully realized. He had underestimated L. He had been fooled by his calm and rational demeanor, as the rest of the task force had been. But, behind closed doors, L was a different person almost. He could send an icy look that would have atheists running to the sanctuary of church. He was threatening, strong, and powerful. His threats weren’t just threats, they were promises. And if his mere grip was so strong to the point were Light was loosing the feeling in his hands, he hated to think about what would happen if L ever attacked him.
Light was going to have to take a different approach with L. Because L had stated several times that he hated to loose, and would send Kira to his death. If there was some way that L could prove Light was Kira, even if the evidence was fabricated….
Light would be a goner.
No, Light would have to change his approach. As much as he hated having to do it, he would have to make himself seem innocent and docile. He would have to make himself seem to be everything Kira wasn’t. He would have to make it so that L thought it was impossible he was Kira. And, somehow in the process, he would have to find the real Kira. Only then would L be assured of his innocence and set him free.
*It's all a game.* Light realized, feeling bile rise in his throat. Except, L was playing the game to ensure that he would have another success story. Light was playing for his life.
*…..Yes, I do.” Light suddenly replied, realizing he hadn’t answered L’s question and was still being held down. “I’m sorry, today has just been stressful. If you’ll please let me go, I promise I’ll go to sleep without another word.”
Without hesitation, L let go of Light’s wrists and sat up, though he was still seated uncomfortably close to Light’s side. Light tried to ignore him and rolled over onto his other side.
He could still feel L’s suspicious glare burning into his back, but he ignored it. This wouldn’t be hard, it didn’t have to be. Light knew he was innocent and that he had nothing to worry about. He has also solved many cases in the past, at a much younger age. He was sure that if he applied himself, which he would because his livelihood was on the line, he would find Kira in no time.
He tried to think optimistic thoughts instead of thoughts of death as he drifted to sleep.