Chapter Text
The rain had begun pouring as soon as the school bell rang. As I ran to the bus stop, I realized that running would be completely useless as the bus was almost full and of course the campus people were standing right next to my friends so I wouldn’t be able to cut in. I instead just grab the umbrella from the side pocket of my backpack as I start walking towards the secondary bus stop for the high school.
With my math teacher giving us both of the textbooks that we would need this year, one being the size of Gaston weighing about the same and the other being about the size of my head, as well as warning us that we would have tests pretty much every other week for most of the year and that we needed to always have both textbooks with us to do the classwork and the homework. Thankfully my other teachers had been more merciful and just told us to keep it in our lockers until we had homework from it. If any of them got wet because of this blasted rain, it would probably muck up the pages of the book, causing me to have to spend time gently pulling apart the pages and spend more time doing the homework everyday. Also it would seriously weigh down the backpack.
I finally managed to get to one of the bus stops by 3:25, and spot a guy from my 6th period also waiting there. We start having the normal awkward conversation about the presentation that we have to do next week when the bus finally comes into view. We both hurry into the forming line and I somehow get on second because of the chaos. There were still seats available, since this was a public bus, and I sat on the first one I saw, which was next to an older man on the pullout seats. I shove my backpack under my seat after grabbing a novel from it so I don’t have to suffer through awkward conversations with one of the kids from school. Somehow, the bus managed to not be that crowded, even though it was the first bus after school, so I was able to sit down without being crushed by other people’s backpacks.
I look down at the cover to see that I grabbed The Hobbit from my bag. The guy sitting next to me looks at the cover approvingly, as if the book I was reading decided my entire worth to him. Oh shit. I forgot to grab my phone and my headphones. I reached down to blindly grab my phone and headphones before he started wanting to talk to me. After I came back into the seated position, the guy decided that this is a great time to talk to me, the random teenager sitting next to him. “Nice book.” I wasn’t fast enough.
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.” It almost feels like I should have rubbed the back of my neck like all of those awkward “teens” in the movies as I said that.
“Is that the original version or the reprint?”
“The reprint. It’s the only one you can get for a decent price nowadays.” Why am I so talkative? What has happened to me? Who answers strangers in more than 1 or 2 syllable answers anymore?
I’m shocked out of my train of thought by him asking, “How would you like to live in Middle Earth?”
What kind of question is that? And the way he phrased it was as if he could take me there. Unless a dimension hopping machine has been built, there’s no way that I would be able to actually go. “It would be nice. Certainly more interesting than school. Why do you ask?”
“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure.” What the fuck? Aren’t those like the actual lines from the book?
“Cool. However, I have a crap ton of homework due this week so I am currently unavailable. Plus, what would I even do on such an adventure, learn precalc while hanging off of a tree?”
“You would learn much better skills than precalculus while on a journey such as this one.” Dammit. Now I actually want to go. However, my parents are actually going to kill me if I turn in any of this homework late.
I looked out the window to see if there is any way to escape this conversation before I agreed because he brought up valid arguments. There are too many people to look through the window across from me so I wasn’t able to use that as a valid excuse to stop talking.
I was debating whether or not to continue talking to him when he said, “The way there is with magic, magic can also be used to bring you back.” Wait a sec, he was just planning on letting me stay there for the rest of eternity, or the rest of my lifespan I guess, before I brought up my concerns. Why am I still talking to this guy? It’s clear he belongs in the loony bin.
“That sounds great.” He looked almost offended, in the way that I had imagined Gandalf looking at Bilbo during the Good Morning scene. He harrumphed and slouched into his seat, as if saying how dare anyone try to brush him off.
At the next stop, he got off, managing to maneuver past an entire group of high schoolers taking up the entire aisle. The closest person asked if they could sit down and the rest of the ride proceeded as normal without any more random people talking to me about magic and going to Middle Earth. I was tempted to text one of my friends about it, however, they wouldn’t have any advice for what to do about this.
After what felt like 3 decades of thinking about that horrible interaction, I saw the stop before mine and began to rifle through my backpack, looking for my keys and putting away my book. I found the keychain and gently tugged it out of my backpack. Getting out, I scanned the other students to see anyone that I recognize and realized that they had probably gotten on a different bus, which meant that I wouldn’t be able to complain to anyone about that weirdness. I walked towards the apartment building, not even bothering with the umbrella. I headed upstairs so I would finally be able to relax for a bit. The conversation with the man had been unsettling, to say the least. At least once I get home, I’ll be able to curl up for a little bit and read in peace without having to think about actually going to Middle Earth.
Unlocking the door, I saw that the TV was still on from when my dad was watching the news. I turned it off after plopping down onto the couch. After grabbing my book once more, I start to open it to the last page I read when I realize that there is a bright light emanating from the book. It quickly envelopes me, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets style.
I blinked repeatedly to try and regain some semblance of sight after being blinded by the book. My first thought is I wish it did that when I was trying to read at night. After that came where the hell am I, as I was in front of a circular green door instead of lounging on the couch at home. Something in my brain was prodding me to go inside, where there was a party going on. As I tried to stand, I noticed my backpack sitting right next to me, which was odd because it wasn’t even that close to me when I was starting to read. I hefted it over my shoulder and knocked on the door.
A short man with curly brown hair and no shoes comes to the door. “And who is this now?”
I tell him my name and he looks confused, as if he wasn’t expecting me to arrive.
“I am Bilbo Baggins. You are welcome to join the rest of your group at the dining room.” Bilbo Baggins? The main character of The Hobbit? I don’t recall today being an occasion on which my friends would be playing such a prank on me. It wasn’t even close to April 1st. I entered the home after a couple seconds of hesitation. I see the faces of 13 other people, including the man from the bus oddly enough. Except for the man on the bus, they are all around the same height as Bilbo, which is making me more concerned for my sanity than anything else. They even look like the characters from the movies. This was too elaborate for a prank and I have never slept on the bus home before; it was often too jerky to even sit down calmly.
“Who’s the lass?” One of them asks. I tell them my name, all of them having a similar reaction to Bilbo except for the bus dude.
“She is the 15th member of this company.”
“What the fuck?” That’s all I could say. My impressive high school vocabulary resulted in 3 words that offended everyone there except for rando from the bus.
“You were informed that I was looking for someone to share in an adventure.”
“I thought you were just quoting Gandalf. How the hell was I supposed to know?” The others seem to be weirded out by the fact that I am cursing every other sentence. When they get torn from their world and put into their favorite fictional world, I would like to see them be any less alarmed.
“Well I am Gandalf, so I guess you could suppose that I was quoting my earlier conversation with Master Baggins.”
“You cannot possibly be Gandalf. Gandalf does not exist. This is just some dream from a nap on the bus home. There is no possible way that you are Gandalf and that is Bilbo Baggins. No fucking way.” I could feel that I was working myself into a panic attack. I took deep breaths, hoping that would help the lack of sanity that I was currently feeling. The man steered me into a sitting room so I could have a little bit of privacy for this complete mental breakdown that I was experiencing.
After what felt like half an hour, I managed to calm down and realize that I was still carrying the heaviest thing on Earth, also known as my backpack. I look around to see that the man is still there and a couple of the others are walking by with more food. “Are you really Gandalf?” I ask quietly.
He nods. “I had not initially realized how much stress summoning you from your own world would cause you. I especially had not realized that this bag was that heavy. I tried to remove it, however, you were clutching on to the straps so hard that I could almost hear your fingernails start to snap for a little while there.”
“Are those the actual dwarves? Or dwarrow? Whatever they prefer.”
“Yes, those are the actual dwarrow. Thorin has not yet arrived.”
“So this is the movie timeline then.” He looked confused at my words, but brushed them off quickly, probably considering them a culture difference.
“Would you like to meet the rest of the company? I am afraid that they are concerned about you.”
“Why would they be ‘concerned’ about a teenager that they have never met? Especially one which looks quite odd.” I gestured to my clothing and backpack to really show off the weirdness.
“You are a child. It may be an understatement to say that they have paternal instincts.”
“Just give me a minute. I just need to chill out a bit more before I even consider seeing them.” He looked even more confused but he once again assumed that culture differences were the source.
I grabbed my phone and a pair of headphones from my backpack. I opened the music app and clicked whatever I was listening to last. Someone New by Hozier began playing. It was surprisingly relaxing and I began to sink into the chair a little.
After the song ended and my brain had some time to deal with the fact that I was now in Middle Earth, I got up and headed back to the room we were in earlier. The 12 dwarrow and the hobbit all looked up when I entered and almost immediately they asked if I was okay as well as why I was cursing so much. They also introduced each of them, as if I wouldn’t recognize each of them from the movies. I was debating whether or not to go into the whole backstory bit when someone knocked on the door.
Gandalf gets up and answers it like in the movies. Thorin walks in, being his majestic self, takes one look at the table and the people around it, and immediately does a double take when he sees me. “Why is there a daughter of man here? I was assuming that the burglar was to be a hobbit.”
“Our burglar will be Master Baggins whose house we are currently meeting in. Ms. Y/L/N is here because I have foreseen the need of a 15th member.”
“Why must we require one so oddly dressed? Or so young?” He gestures towards my general appearance as he says this, as if everyone hadn’t seen the jeans and a t-shirt I wore to school.
“I have no clue why I am here.” I shrugged. “I have class tomorrow and homework to get to, so Gandalf, if you could. Release me from my eternal bonds.” Everyone just looked at me weird when I said the last bit, however, most people didn’t recognize the reference in my world. I most definitely was not expecting the joke to work here.
“It is not that simple. It took a great amount of power to bring you here in the first place. I will not be able to send you back until at least a month from now, if not longer.” He looked between me and Thorin as if to say, well what can you do.
“We will not be able to take a child of man along. There is far too much danger for any child to be brought along. Especially one that has no weapons training.”
“Yep. He’s right. You gotta send me back, man.” I sat back in the chair, giving off the most California beach dude vibes possible. “I have no supplies and a journey like this will take months. My grades are going to be shit by the time I get back. My parents are probably flipping out already.” It seemed that with each sentence that came out of my mouth, the company members got more and more confused. I had thought that the amount of slang that I had used was minimal. At least they weren’t outraged over me cursing again.
“Judging by what I was able to understand, which granted was not a lot, you need to go back because of school and your parents.”
“Got it in one, my dude.” Everyone just sighed at the sentence, all of them kind of tired of the weird slang that the 21st century had created.
Balin decided this was a great time to interject since none of them were understanding half the words that came out of my mouth and asked, “What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?”
Thorin was the one to answer, saying, “Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms.”
“And what did the dwarrow of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?” said Dwalin.
“They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.”
“A quest. That sounds like fun. Also kinda sounds like the kinda thing that wouldn’t let me submit my precalc homework in on time.”
“Excuse me, miss, but what is precalc?” asked Ori.
“Precalculus.” They all looked the same amount of confused as prior to Ori’s question. “Give me a second. I need a visual to show the true horribleness of precalculus.” I walked to the sitting room in which I had left my backpack while the dwarrow were theorizing what could possibly be this mysterious thing. Hefting the backpack over my shoulder once more, I walked into the dining room where they were still talking animatedly. I dropped the backpack on the chair as quickly as possible because that thing was not fun to carry for long periods of time. They all looked over at the heavy thud.
“What is in there, lass?” Bofur asked.
“Textbooks mainly. A couple of notebooks. A gajillion pens and pencils. Far too many homework assignments.” I opened up the bag to grab the thick yellow textbook whose front page proclaimed ‘Precalculus With Limits: A Graphing Approach.’ I plop it onto the table which almost causes all of the plates to jump off.
“How heavy is that book?” one of them asked.
“At least half of what I have to carry on a daily basis. It kills my shoulders.”
“Only half? Are they trying to fit all of the knowledge in the world in your pack?”
“I dunno. Probably.” I started flipping through pages to find the page for homework I had quickly written on my hand. “I found it. Page 306.” I turned the book so that the others could see it. They looked shocked at what was on the page. It was just the logarithmic equations that we were learning in class.
“Why are there numbers with letters in this?” Bilbo asked.
“It is supposed to exercise your brain. However, whoever said that was a nutcase and I think it’s just to torture kids.”
“How do you exercise your brain? The brain certainly isn’t a muscle that can be used for something such as fighting. Also what is a nutcase?” Kili asked.
“They make you learn more and more difficult concepts in order to increase your intelligence. A nutcase is someone who’s gone cuckoo.” At the group's completely confused faces, I said, “A few bolts loose. The lights aren’t all on upstairs.” At their further confusion, I just blurt out, “An insane person?” hoping that they will at least recognize that.
“That makes more sense. Onto the next order of business.” Gandalf started.
“What about my return trip? Is there any clear timeline other than at least a month for that? Because I am certain I don’t have a visa for Middle Earth or the necessary parental permissions.”
“What do you mean you do not have the necessary parental permissions? Gandalf, did you not even ask if she was going to be able to come? Or even if she wanted to?” Thorin asked, astounded by the fact that Gandalf had basically up and kidnapped someone.
“I did ask if she wanted to. She replied, ‘It would be nice. Certainly more interesting than school.’” Gandalf looked offended at the accusations being thrown at him, as if they were untrue.
“How in the fuck does that mean I would very much like to go to Middle Earth right now?”
“Language!” Gloin yelled. His fatherly instincts were probably kicking in right about now.
“Well I may have assumed based off of the book and the picture on your tiny metal contraption.” He was referring to the wallpaper. The wallpaper I have not changed since I got my phone and had Keep Calm and Eat Second Breakfast written on it.
“Well that doesn’t mean that I would like to raise hell by going on a journey with Thorin Oakenshield’s company. Simply means I like the series.”
“What series?”
“Oh shit. Do they know?” I asked Gandalf.
“It is not widely known information. It is known only among a special few.”
“Do you mean the Maiar? Because I am pretty sure that Tom Bombadil knows.”
“And who, if I may ask, is Tom Bombadil and how does he affect this quest of ours?” Balin asked. His question brought me back to the awareness that we were talking about this in front of an audience who had very little clue what in the hell we were talking about at this point.
“He doesn’t become relevant until 80 years from now. None of you ever interact with him.”
“She is a seer. That is why you want her brought on this quest Gandalf,” stated Thorin.
“There are most definitely things I would like to prevent, however, I have no cell service and not a lotta stuff downloaded. That isn’t enough to keep what you would call today a somewhat hyperactive 15 year old.”
“She’s 15! Gandalf, we cannot bring a child along with us, no matter how useful their skills may be. We must be able to focus on the problem at hand, getting into the mountain, not making sure she is safe.” Thorin looked like a parent scolding their child because they tried to bring home a stray dog.
“Especially not if she has homework due tomorrow!” I interjected. The amount of homework that accumulates from honors classes can literally kill an orc. “The only training I really have is in coding, and judging by the tech, I won’t be of much use here.”
“What is coding?” Ori asked.
“It’s how you get certain items to do certain tasks in my world since we don’t really have magic.”
“What do you mean my world?” Thorin turned towards Gandalf. “Did you take this child from a different world and drop her into this one without any prior preparation?”
“Yes. However, the benefits are far greater than the risks if she is brought along with us. She knows more about the dangers of this quest than anyone else.”
“I am not the most useful person you could have chosen to bring on this quest. I am certainly not the one that you should have chosen. I have to do college prep next year and I can’t do that if I am failing all of my fucking classes.” My volume was steadily increasing as I said this, the rage at being brought here at the most inopportune moment starting to cloud my mind. All of them looked confused at the last sentence, which probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone who hasn’t dealt with the ridiculous education system that is currently in place. “There are tests I need to study for, including, but not limited to, ones that decide my entire future.”
“As I said previously, after the necessary amount of time to replenish my magic, I will be able to send you to the same time at which you left.”
That would certainly be better than just having my parents freak out over me not being there. “That works for me I guess. What am I supposed to do with all the shit in my backpack?” I asked calmly. They all looked astounded at the casual cursing, as if someone couldn’t curse unless they were mad.
“You can leave it all here. As it is, you have no items that are necessary for this trip so you will only require the bag.” Gandalf answered. Bilbo looked offended at the casual storing of all of my stuff here but quickly schooled his face into something more presentable.
“If you think I am leaving my phone, you’re crazy. However, almost everything is too heavy to carry and therefore can be left behind.”
“Now that that is finally sorted out, we can get onto the next order of business.” Gandalf announced.
I was tempted to pull Bilbo aside to ask where I could store this stuff, however, this scene had a major role to play in bringing out his Tookish side and convincing him to come along so I decided to leave it for later.
After he passed out due to reading the contract, I tried to gently nudge him awake. When that didn’t work, I grabbed the precalc textbook from off of the table and dropped it right next to his head, startling him awake. Everyone looked at us, wondering what the bang was and saw the textbook next to his head.
“Where can I put my stuff?” I asked Bilbo.
“There’s a spare bedroom that you can store it in right down the hall.”
I tried to grab the precalc textbook but Kili got there first. He looked shocked by the weight. “This is half of your normal load?”
“Yeah. I need it for math classwork.” He then tossed it to Fili, who is also shocked by the weight.
“Only half? How are you able to carry this much at such a young age? I thought that Men were much weaker than dwarrow.” Fili then tossed it to another member of the company, who then tossed it to another member, until it had made its way back to Kili.
“If you guys stop tossing it around, I can give one of you the bag which I normally use.” Kili then handed it to me, however, I couldn’t tell if he actually wanted to see how heavy the bag is or if he was just giving it back to me out of a sense of propriety. I shoved the book back in, somehow not crushing any of the paper that I had hastily shoved in there earlier, and handed it to Kili, who almost immediately dropped it.
“What’s in here, a pile of rocks?”
“Mainly books. A couple of snacks. 3 trillion pens. You know, the normal stuff.”
He lifted it and then gave it to Fili. He looked just as shocked as Kili. “How long do you normally have to carry it around for again?”
“Anywhere from a couple of minutes at a time to about half an hour. There are kids who shove more books in there or even some completely unnecessary stuff. There’s also the kids who have to carry around an extra bag because of a sport.” Both of their jaws dropped, as if a person couldn’t logically carry this much stuff at a time. They probably weren’t going to talk for a while, at least to me, so I picked up my backpack and headed over to the room which Bilbo had pointed out earlier.
I just dumped out everything in the bag onto the bed because there wasn’t anything really essential except for one of those crepe things from Costco and a pack of gum. I shoved my keys back into my bag because who knows if I’ll be able to come back here before Gandalf decides to send me back. However, if he doesn’t allow me to pick up my stuff before he sends me back I am going to have to pay some hefty fines.
With just the snacks and the keys, I have plenty of space to shove some other stuff that would actually be necessary on this trip. I should take some pictures of the textbooks so that I can keep the knowledge in my brain and actually do well on the next test. With that settled, I opened the book to the chapter that we are currently working on and took pictures of all of the theory and a couple of the exercises so I can do some practice if I have any time and I actually wanted to. Accelerated math requires a constant upkeep of skills so I also grabbed the most empty notebook in the bag.
As I do this, I hear humming coming from outside. It’s starting. I was very tempted to run out there for the perfect nerd moment, however, it seemed more likely that it would ruin the flow if they saw me run in. So instead, I heard the best song to ever come from a book being sung from the other room. Thankfully, the door was still open so I still got most of the effect.
I came out a couple minutes after they finished singing and saw Bilbo signing the contract. Hopefully, this time he won’t be left behind the next morning. Balin was overseeing the signing and therefore was the one to spot me first. “Lass, here’s one for you.” He then proceeds to hand me a document that was somehow larger than Bilbo’s. He saw my wide eyes and said, “It’s longer because you are still a child, therefore there are more protection clauses and such.”
I didn’t even take the time to read over the full thing. I skimmed it like it was the new Apple terms and conditions and found where I needed to sign my name.
“That was quick. Are you sure you want to come lass?”
“I know for a fact that it’ll be better than waiting around here for a year.”
Bilbo looked up when I said a year. “What do you mean a year? I thought this was only going to be for a few months.”
“Well, we have to get there by Durin’s Day and then there’s the trip coming back along with any possible delays that can take place. Therefore, it’ll be about a year before we can come back.”
Balin looked at me weird when I said Durin’s Day. They hadn’t read the moon runes yet so that little tidbit hadn’t been revealed. That was going to be something to talk about later. But they did know that I was a seer so it could be brushed off as me just predicting something that I thought they knew.
When I looked back around the room, I saw that everyone had begun bedding down for the night. “I’m going to go to the room where I stored my stuff and then sleep. Could someone wake me up before you head out?” I asked Balin.
“Sure.”
I moved all of the stuff off of the bed and onto the floor and promptly fell asleep. It seems that being transported to a new world did wonders for a decent sleep schedule.