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giorno develops a severe almond addiction

Summary:

he likes almonds a little too much if you get what i mean 😳

Notes:

I NEED TO LAY A BRICK

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

one day geowno was wlakingnin his local super foodtown when all of a susden he saw an overpriced bag of almonds. “WOAH MOMMA HUMMINA HUMMINA!!” he said EYES BULDVGINH OUT OF HIS FICKING SKULL and using a highly overused line in my fanfics. gierono instantly fallednin lLOVE Wwith the overpriced bag of almonds. HE JUST NEEDED THE ALMONDS SO BAD. giorno’s not one to fail no nut november, but this time he needed nuts, and it also wasn’t novmbear. “i, giorno goovanna, mUST HAVE THESE OVERPRICED ALMONDS!!!” he yelled and ripped open his boob window revealing his massive man titties and pounded on his chest liek harmabe ggolrila. “OOH OOH AAH AHH.” he make monke noises. hweb gwnone is around amonds he turn into monke.

giorno put all of the overpriced bags of almodns ainto his sopping crat and went to da check out. hieono had at leats 18 bags of almonds with him. “sir if u dont mind me asking, what are u going yo do with all of these almonds?!” the casheir said. gionero looked at him menacingly. “amond.” he said menacingly and bri’ish. he paid 279501847357101 moneys for his almodns and drove home in his toyota corolla idk what the ad said i wasnt pqyynia getention. 

giorno is 15 and terible at driving i know tuis because i am 16 and i have run at lwast 3 stop signsa nf a yeoeld sign i swear i dnt see them they only appeared after i ran themn. giornk got home with hus almonds and 77 tragfic tivkets for violating tbe rules of the road. gieno walked in and was immediatly interrogated by brungo. “NO BRUNGO YOU WILL NKY INTERROGSNT ME NOW!!!” girONO YELLED ANGIEKY AND THREW AN ATECORN AT BRUNO.

“BONK” the sound of the acorn said as it came in contact with bruno bucciarati’s wigged head. 

“what.” he said staring at the aYcrorn giorno threw at his head. then bruno’s wig flew away insert bruno wig music here. 

giorno ran updatairss and filled his bat tub with almonds. “I enjoy almonds!” he said with correcyt ounctautnon adnd grmw3er and poured all 18 bags of almodns into the bath tub. he then undressed and sat in the tub, getting almonds in places where they typically aren’t. “I NEED MORE ALMONDS!!!” he yeleld ivoletnly, the 18 bags of overpricesd almonds weren’t eno uh j to satisfy him. 

giorno got dressdd again and left his almodns in the tub and went to buy more.“MUST BUY ALMNODDS!!!!!1!1!1!!” HE SAID FEROCIOUSLY likr enarancia. “GRRRRRRR.” he gorlwed and gotnin the car and drove off. “stupid fucking table stole my feral behavior. looks like i need to develop a new annoying and violent behavior.” narancia sighed and stubbed his toe, evidently becoming a kyle and cuuggingh monster enerrgy drink sand punching holes inthe dry wall. 

giorno drove back to supper foddtown but they dint have naymore almodns!!! “¡¡NOOOOO!! ¿¿¿¿¿POR QÚE?????” he said in the wrong language and kn his hands an dnekenss, crying his eyes out. 

then he frove kt target and baugjt all of theyre almonds. “MUST BUY ALMOND.” he said menxisngly and british. he then botught all of the decently priced almonds and checked out. “sir if you don’t mind me asking, what are you going to do with 207 bags of decently priced almonds?” asked tbe cashier. “taxes.” gorno said. the cashier nodded his head as if he understood what girono was doing. he did not. giorno then paid for his 207 bags of decently priced almonds and left target.

meanwhile...

”the one time i go to take a shower for once in my life the bathtub has to be filled with almonds... le epic sigh xDDddD.... what are the odds of that?!” mista said staring at the copious amount of almonds jn tve bathtub in disbellief and shopck. “i wish that badstared extra vitrin vegetalb oil never learned how to heal with his gay ass piss colored stand and just let me bleed out and die.” mista sighed as he exited tbe bathoomr and pucnhed a hole in the drywall.

giorno aritved home with his almos sd and went to the tub to fill it up with almod s. “AMONDS!!1!!” he said menacinhluhgy. it take dhm aplroeoaxabmeyluy 68 minjtes and 59 seconds to fill up the tbattub wit alkidns. “almond time.” he said and got naked and cannonballed into his bathtub kf almonfs. it was a rocuhgg landing bt giorno was fine. now that ethere were evn more almonds int be tub, there were more plaves for the almonds to hide where you wouldnt ysuly fingd them.

devtl mowntnya later thatr was a nOCK AT bthe doOLR. “FUCK OFF.” giorno YELLED ANGIELY. the door kicked open to an angey and stinky mista. “GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE TUB GIORNO I SMELL WORSE THAN YOUR UGLTy BATHTUB FULL OF ALMONDS AND I NEED TO SHOWER NOW.” mista said angrily and reeking of bo. “gAsp!!!! HOW DARE YOU OFFEND MY ALMONDS!!!1!! GRRRRRRRRRR.” gioeno said getitng on all fours and feriously geowli nd ay mista until he felt threatened enough to leave. mista dhot him and left to tel brungo of his discovetly. 

“is narancia’s feral addictive behavior finally spreading to the other members? we need to detain them both in a federal prison.” bruno suggested, allowing their addictions to burn out. “yeah i thin ur right bucciarsit,,something miust have rubbed off on goorno th at made him so aggreisvely retarded.” mista said. “damn this family and it’s history of addictions.” brhno sighed and recalled the previous fatal addictions his gsng members have had and currently have.

”first it was narancia’s burger addiction, then the cheese puffs, then slapping people with cheese, then bts, now punching holes in drywall! then it was giorno’s fortnite addiction and now his almond addiction!! and you still have a porn addiction i know that;, but you’re not dangerously feral about it. fugo’s got his minecraft and banana collecting addictions, abbacchio’s got his green day, mainkg girono dirnk his piss, and my chemical romande adidcitns; and trish has he r joj osiwa anqd jame chdarles adidctions.” bruno said, tearing up and not mentioning his totalyl fatal drinking red wine while pulling miles of anal beads out of abbacchio which watching family guy addiction.

mista and beungo son divindesd a olan to help giorno anf anrancia specifically with their addicitons and past addicitons.

”ur going to rehab.” brunos aid to giorno i nhis almond bath. giorno pulled a 180 and started crying and screaming and yelling like nikocado avacado it was insane and sad to watch. “shut.” mista said and shototed him again. "im tired of u interupting my amond baths guiod msita." giormon said angreky and somiuned his standf golenden penis and punshed mista in the thigh he screech and die. "perish stinky fiend." giorno said and decended into his amond bath, dorlwing in almonds. "that slippery snake. "bruno said to his comerad who lay unconshis on the bathroom fllor. he kciekd mista out f the bathrom and on the flor outdide the door. "time 2 take matters into my own hands." bucciarati said lookinged at his cum soaked fingers. "hjajha sticky fingers funne haaha." said he and walked off to get his machete and his shotgyun and his cannon and his halberd and his chlorophyte shotbow with holy arrows adn several other dangerous welpons. 

buciarait leftr his child alone in his bath of alkmodns. "that damn bucciarati and that DISGUSTING stinky FUYCK mista. i wish those fuckers'd leave me alone adn nverbn MAKE EYE CONETATCT WIT H ME EVR AGAIN!!!' HEYELE D LIEK AN ANGRY 5 YEAR OLD WHO PALSUED FORNTIE WITH NINJA AD GET BANEND FOR STTREAM SBIGPIHN AND EDNIGN A FATAL FORNTIEt ADDICITON. "wryyyyyyyyy." hre let ou ta low wry as he once again further decended into his bathtub of alndomns. he etook a dep whitff of amonds. "mm mmm m almonds." hd said enjyoing the smell of amlmdosn. then his etyees butsRSTED OPEN GLAS BREAKING SOUNF EFFECT "WHAT IS ALMOND MIL;K/??!?/1//??" HE SAKEMD HIMSELF SAS HE GOT UP AND WENT TO HIS LOCAL WALMART TO BUY ALMODNDS MILK TO FILL HIS BATHTUB WITH. "dam nit  how can wammart onlw havew 5 crartons of almond lmilk?//??/ jow do milk almond??// how almond milk?//?????/???/" he asked ihimselfse and as cheked out in the walma rt chefkc ou t lane. "wow sir u must like almondmilk." the cahsier said. "almnnon.,,.,,,." he said menacingly and bitrishe. giorno left and went home ti FIND HS FUCKING BATHRUTB HAS BEEN OPMETIED OUT AND THERER WERE NO MORE ALMODNS. GIORNO DROPEDP JHIS ALMOND MILK NAD SHATTERED BNRUO BUCCARAIT'S FCKING NECK. BONES WERE BREAKING HE WAS BLREESDING AND HE WAS NOT FCKING BREATHING. "BUCCIARATI IS FUYFKING DEDA." HE SAID AND LET OUT A BATTLE ROAR. "AJHFEWSDJAAAEAEAEAEAAAAARARARAGGGARAAAAA." HE SCREECHD. ANRANCONE SHOPEDWED UP. ".,...,,.. bucci mommie,...,,,....," narancone said adn started tearinh up. he saw bucciarati's dead body equipped with his arsenal of very dangerous weapons. while giorno usesd his sheer strenght to defeat the maternal parental figure of the bucci gang household. narancia started crying and screehicng sadly. then he got angy. "GRRRRRRRR GIENOENO." HE SAID AND PUNSHECHED A HOLE IN THE DRY WALL. THE FERAL NARANCONE APPRAOCHED THE FERAL GEONEO. 

"GIORNO. U HRUTED BURNO MOMMY AND NOW I WILL HURT YOU." he said angrily. "GRRR NARANCIA U HURTED MY ALMOND ADDICIOTN AND NOW I WIOLL HURT YOU!!1.." SAID GIORNO AS HE ROPPEDD BURNOOS BODUY O N THE FLOOR. hsi neck was broke and died :( poor buruno momey. "birng irt ON UR FUCING COPY CAT." narania got on all foruts and ppsed like a feral cat hissing at a threat. "I DINT OCOPY YOU THIS IS WHAT HAPPENDS WHEN NINJA BANS YOU FOR STEREAM SNINPNG WIEHN YOU DINT DO IT>:(((((((." igorno saind angrily. theybcharged at each other and new ebenegries were creating in this time. both of their extremely feral an d angry anergy mangifested a new stand. the two started fist fighting and realissxed thye contd use theiyre stands. "THATS IT U WEAK UGLY TOOTH PICK! I'M GONNA SUMMON MY STAND AND EBATTHE SHIT OUTTA YOU!!11!." nbotjt of them said in unison like conjoined wteins. the two boys strated violently shaking.

"i mUST HAVE NBEEN IN INTERPHASE THE WHOKE TIME. I CAN FEEL IY HAOPPEDNING. PROPAHSE HAS BEGUN!!!" NARANCA YELLED, FINALLY EXCITED THAT THIS EVENT IS TAKING PALCE. the feral stand replication was in the prophecies that narancia had studied in snot dog and toothpaste's music. "GRRRRRR SCREREEEEEEEEEĖÊÉĘÊEÊĘÉEŒĘÆ!!!" he screeched and successfullu complaeted the stages of mitosis and du[liocated inot a very feral narancia whom he calls "naraca". "GRRRRRRRRRRRRR." naraca GROWLED M3NECAINGLY. "WRYRYYYYYYYYYY!111!!!!YYYYYYY.' GIORINO SCRECHED AND SUCCESSFULLY DUPLICATED INTO A VERY FERAL GIORNO HE CALLS" GIOENO". "GRRRRRR WWRYYYYYYYYY>" gioeno growled menacinghly. THE TWO OUGHT OUT EPICALLY UNTIL MISTA CAME DOWN THE FUCKIN STAIRS AND SWA THEM BTTLING IT OUT IN THE KITCHEN. "man i just wanted a sandwich." he said and weny back up stairs adn cried cuz he out of food in his stash and want to feed his kiddies :<

punheds flew back and fithrgh. it was a clseo match. bothj endig up with sever re injuries and peramnetne brain damage. "IT SEESMES.. . . YOU ARE SVERY STRONG.....,.,,.." girono said to the naranchode who stood as if he was about to slap someone with cheese. "ok." heh said and they fighted again. IT WAS IN1OSE. THE FIGH RWAS CLOSING IN ATA ASTALEM8. "IT'S ABNOIT TIME I USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!" NARANCIA YELLED AND NARACA WAS BUILDING UP FOR HIS SPECIAL ATTACK. "ASAME WITH ME YOU HALF DEDA COCK ROACH." GIRONO SYEKLELED AND GIOENO WAS READY TO COMMENSE HIS SPECIAL ATTACK AS NARACA WAS SHORTLY AFTER. 

"GO NARACA!!!! TAKE HIS RIBOSOMES!!!!1!!1!!1!" NARANCIA UYELLED AND COMMANDED HIS FERAL DUPLICATE. "RIBOSOME!!!!!!!!" HE YELLED AND SUCKED SO FUCKONG HARD HE BECAME A FUCKIN HOOVER AND VACUUMED UP THE AIR SO HARD IT STARTED RIPPING GIORNO AND GIOENO'S RIBOSOMES OUT FO THEIR BODIES!!!! "RIBOSOOOOME!!!!!" naraca YELLED EPICALLY AND VACUMMED UP THE RIBOSOMES. "HAVE FUN TRYING TO SYNTHESIZE PROTEIN NOW YOU RIBOSOMELESS PILE OF MICROTUBULES!!!" NARANCIA YELLED, BUT GIORNO GOT BACK UP AGAIN. "YOU HAVE;NT.... . COUGH.. .. ,,,.,,., FACED MY SPECIAL ATTACK YET NARANCIA,,..,,." GIORNO YELLED ADWS HE COUGHTED UP BLODO ADN CUM. "NANI??!???? UR NOT DIED/?!>!??!? HOW>?>!?!??!???? NANDE???!?????!?!!!!!!!11!11!" NARANCIA WAS OCNFUSED. HOW WAS HE STILL ALIVE AFTE RHAVEING ALL OF HIS RIBOSOMES REMOVED FROM HIM??!????!?!!!????

"GO GIOENO!!!!!! DO YUOY'RE SPECIAL ATTACK!!!111!!" GIONRO COMMANDED AND GIOENO FOLLOWED. GIOENO LOKOSED AS IF HE WA S AMIX OF THINKNIG REALLY HARD, TRYING TO USE PSYCHIC MIND POWERS AND BEING INCREDIBLY CONSTIPATED. SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER, ALL OF GIORNO'S ALMONDS CAME TO HIM AND WERE LAUNGED AT ANRADNCAIA AND NARACA AT ALAMRING SPEEDS!!!! "MUDAMUDADMAUDAMDUAUMDAUDAUDAMUDAUMDUMADUMAMUDMUADMUADUMAUMDAUMDUMADMUAMUDU!!!!" H EYELLED AS ALMODNS WEERE BEING SHOT AT NARANCIA, PIERCING THROUGH NARACA AND NARANIA, LEAVING ALMOND SIZED HOLES IN THE WALL.

AS GIRONP'S ALMOND ATTACK CAM E TO A SLOW aFTER 103.2K ALMONDS WERE SHOT AT NARANCIA, EFFECTIVELY TUTNING HIM AND NARACA INTO SWISS CHEESE. NARANCIA WAS BELEEDING OUT OF SEVERAL HOLES WHERE ALMONDS HAVE TOUCHED. howeber does the autopsy will find almonds left inside of hin and ponder why almodns were being used as bullets.

"it seems..,,.,.,. you were srstrongwrer,,.,,.. than i,.,,,,." narancia said as he started foaming at the mouth and died. then naraca disappeared. he collapesed on the grounde ECPIALLY leaivng behind a puddle of blood. 

mista who watched in horror, feared giorno and gioeno's immense power warned the others about gironeo's fastly growing power. they did not listen and mist apakcniced. "fuck man im screwed." he said adn kissed his porn collection goodbye as gionro smelt his presents. "msitsa. ist seems you are alive and against my almond addiction." gionro said menacingly. "nah." mista said and played dead like a possum. not only did he look like a dead possum, but he smelt like it too.

giorno left like an aggressive bear to find the rest of his gang members. "i jsut wanted peace and this is what i get? i get bothered and called craszy for having an almond addction??? we truly live in a society." girono said and walked off with gioeno. gioeno kept a close eye on mista who was terribly acting as a dead possum. gioeno fucked off and followed giorn. "i tried guys." mista said to the pistols. "we know." number 2 said. "tehre's nothign we can do to stop giorno." added numebr 6. "he's just too powerful! he even defeated narancia and naraca no problem!" number 1 said. "wer'e so SCRERWED MISTA AAAAAAAAAA." numebr 5 cried. "sotp dcyring numebr 5 u fat bussy." dsiad number 3. "stop fighing you ravenous beasts. the kitcehn is off limitws. there are two dead bodies in tehre." msita said. "ÄÆ!" numerb 7 screceched cuz he ahsnt said anything yet.

then mista got hungy and went odwnstrairs despirte saying he would tnt go toht eh ktichen. "foomd.,.,..." he said staring into the refridegeratior but he coudltnt ignor eth e elephasnt in the room, or as i should say, the two dead bodies in the room. mista, not closing th redigrederiateor, went over to bucciarait and anranca, chekcing their pulses just in case they wain't dead. but they were. msta cried. "sad mista noises." he said and ate a sansdwich asnd shaerd it with his kittle solidicfied piss stains. "yummy." tey all said in uison liek conjoined sextuplets haha sex hahaahhaah sex sahhahahahaahhahahhHAHAHAHha ah h h ,,,. a.,,,. thne he went to find fugo. "FUGO I ENED UR HELP iI NEED U TO BECOME FERAL AGAIN AND SUMMON YOUR FERAL DUPLICATE FAGO AND DEFEAT GIRONO AND HIS DEADLY ALMONDS YOU'RE OUR ONYL HOPE PLEAS E FUGO PLEASESEEEE!!!1!!1!!" mista begged on his hadns and kenes. "ONLY IF U NEVER MAKE FUN OF MY MICROPENIS AGAIN??? CAPEESH??!?!???!?" FUO ASFKED AGRESIVELY. "capito>' mist aprkeied and jfugo hutned girono adn gioeno with mista by his side. 

"where di d u last tsee them?/" fugo asked. "idk i was acting like a dead possoum." mistsa siad. fugo snifefd and wanted the puke. "u smell like one too..." he said and msihta punched him in the bnose. "ow." he saingn like squidawrd tentaclwes. "FUUGOOOOOO." GIORNO SAID STANDING AT THE TO OF THE STAIRS LIKE HIS FATHER DIO. "GIONRNO." FUGO SAID STRANDING AT THE BTTOMT OF THE STAIRS LIKE POLNAREFF. "it's about time we meet again." figiorno said, gioeno following closely behind him. "i've gained immense power, panny." giorno said. "never call me that again or i'll threaten legal action, you soggy granola bar." gufgo said. "grrrRRRR RUUF RUUF RUFF RUFF RUFF GRRRRRR!!!!1" giorno growled menacingly. fugo was unphajsed by this. he was so desensivtiexed to feral behavioru in the house because of narancia's previous fatal addictions. 

"FIGHT ME FUGO!!!" giorno demanded. "ok. "fugo said and fed girono an almond. he snifed it and ate it. "woof woof owo f woof woof woof." he said like a happy dog. he klept feeding girno almonds. "woof woof bark bark bark!" girno was wagging his tail like a dog if you catch my drift, if you're picking up what i'm putting down, if you're catchin' what i'm throwin' at you

msita stared in shock and disbelief as giorno was no longer feral and aggressive, but tamed and domesticated like a dog. "that's right u almond loving fuck. eat 'em up eat 'em up eat 'em up eat 'em up." fugo said, not needing to use violence against the almond addicted giorno giovanna.

"ok mista. now!" fugo said handing giorno the fourth almond and mista shot giorno in the head but then his bullet rickashayed and mista died. "five fucks sake..,.,.,..,." msita said after fugo fed griono the 4th almond. fugo c4ried but not for mista, but for the fact that he's stuck with dealing with a feral almond addict that plays fortnite and drinks piss. the end

Notes:

i layed a brick