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If Bellamy looks at their new settlement as a whole, he knows there are a lot of things to be proud of.
After choosing a place that Gabriel deemed perfect for it, they got started with their own radiation shield, a shelter specially made for the eclipses and the cabins for the people who would join them eventually, making everyone spend their first eclipse on the ship to avoid any accident, and now that most of the cabins are done and they have a mess hall, a medical building and a shelter to house those who don’t have a cabin of their own yet, Gabriel, Raven and him have decided that it’s time for them to get the people they left back in Sanctum.
After spending the last six months working tirelessly to have a new home, it feels rewarding to look at his cabin and think that he absolutely loves it.
He knows it’s not perfect, and there’s not a lot of furniture inside yet —just a table, three chairs and two beds—, but it feels cozy to him, and he hopes that those who enter his place in the future feel the same way. It feels a little lonely to him at the moment, but he knows it won’t be that way for long.
Still, there’s a garden in the back, and plants are already growing there. Some medicinal, some that just looked beautiful and Gabriel confirmed were harmless, and the lake is ten minutes away. What’s not to love?
Bellamy looks around one last time before leaving, but he doesn’t take anything with him. He doesn’t need to. Today, his only task will be going back to Sanctum to help the people they left there and bring them to this place.
He thinks Clarke will like it, too. After all the things they’ve been through since they landed on Earth, it feels like this is the first real chance they have to live without worrying about war, and that’s the most important thing of all.
It looks like they’ll finally be able to keep the promise they made to Monty and Harper and do better.
Gabriel interrupts his reverie on his way to the ship, falling into step beside him with one of the biggest grins he’s ever seen.
“What’s going on?” Bellamy asks, a little confused. There’s nothing that comes to mind when he wonders why he looks so happy.
“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head a little, but the smile doesn’t vanish. “I just realized that tomorrow is Christmas.” Gabriel chuckles. “Tomorrow, when you bring everyone back to this place—well, I guess that’s going to be the perfect gift for them after all these years of fighting.”
It sounds amazing to think of this as a gift for all the stuff they lived, of course, but he still has to ask, “Do you still celebrate that?”
They saw movies about the world before the bombs when they were on the Ark, but Bellamy’s family never celebrated anything like that. He tried his hardest to make something every year for Octavia’s birthday, but he couldn’t do anything else.
“Yes, we kept some traditions with us when we arrived here.” His smile turns a little wistful. “It’s been a long time since I celebrated something, if I’m being honest, but it was one of my favorites before… everything happened. Even though the dates kind of changed, the intent behind it’s what it counts.”
He doesn’t ask for more details about the story behind his words. Gabriel’s face always grows kind of lost whenever Josephine comes up in their conversations, but Bellamy is sure he’ll never like hearing about her, knowing she stole Clarke’s body almost a year ago.
Gabriel knows that, too, so when he keeps talking it’s only about the things they did for the celebration when he was still part of Sanctum. Cookies, lights and Christmas trees come into conversation, and Bellamy asks after them, fascinated by his first-hand experience with it. It’s always weird, to remember that he’s talking with a man who lived on Earth back when it was—well, mostly a peaceful place.
Bellamy appreciates even more his company when he sees the ship and the nerves start sinking in. Everyone who is coming with him is preparing things for the launch and everything becomes real in that moment, knowing that he’ll see those he left behind so many months ago.
A part of him has been desperate to go back ever since they landed and started working, but the other was just excited for the future.
His last goodbye with Clarke didn’t feel permanent last time, and for that he’s incredibly grateful. He’s missed her, but he also tells himself she’s okay all the time. Everyone fought hard to achieve peace and he knew that leaving Clarke behind Emori and Murphy’s leadership had been the wisest of choices while he took Gabriel and Raven with him to build their compound.
Gabriel notices that he doesn’t hold his attention anymore and his smile turns teasing. “You are excited, huh?”
Bellamy ducks his head to hide a smile. “Yeah,” he answers. “What about you?”
“I wouldn’t say excited, but I can’t wait to see their faces when they look at what we achieved in such a little amount of time.” Gabriel huffs out a laugh, looks around them. “And if we’re being honest, I’m just happy I can stop building things now.”
Bellamy laughs in response, but it’s a little tense with nerves.
Gabriel notices and frowns. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just—” He clears his throat. “I’m a little nervous.”
He smiles knowingly. “Clarke?”
Bellamy feels the heat in his cheeks, but it’s not like he can do anything to hide it. Gabriel has been teasing him ever since they were in Sanctum and he probably doesn’t even know about what happened the night before they left, but he hopes he’s been doing a better job at keeping his relationship with Clarke a secret with everyone else. Gabriel probably just thinks that he’s in love with Clarke.
And that’s not a lie, so he doesn’t bother to do anything about it.
“That obvious, huh?” he asks, rubbing a little his ear.
Gabriel only shrugs. “Probably. But that’s a good thing.” He claps his back and is about to turn around and leave when he seems to remember something and turns his gaze back to him, serious. “I’ll make sure to keep this place up and running while you’re gone, so don’t even think about worrying, okay?”
Bellamy nods, and the other man walks away, leaving him alone with his thoughts while he walks the rest of the way to the ship. He’s grateful for the friendship that grew between them while they were leading the construction, and even though it’s hard to hear about how much Gabriel loved (and still loves) Josephine, it’s a small price to pay when he thinks about it. It’s nothing like his co-leadership with Clarke or even his friendship with her, but it’s still one of the most meaningful friendships he’s had in his entire life.
Once he's on board, he nods in Raven’s direction, taking his place and fastening his seat belt, waiting until everything is ready for the launch.
He closes his eyes and it’s not that hard, to lose himself in memories, just like he’s been doing every time things turned difficult during the last six months.
Things in Sanctum were as calm as they were going to get, and Clarke was on her bed, just like she had been for hours with him sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, while they discussed their plans. It felt too intimate to be close to her on her bed, even though their lives were already too entwined by then, so he simply chose not to be there.
Everything was already prepared, and they had already reached an agreement with Gabriel and decided that Clarke would stay in Sanctum to keep things in check while they supervised the construction of the place that would be their home. And he knew that, if someone asked, he would say that they were still planning, but Bellamy knew that he only wanted to spend as much time as he could in her company before he left the next day.
There was a lull in the conversation, but he didn’t want to leave yet. Still, while he was searching for another possible problem in his mind, she was the one to break the silence.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked, a little tired. She seemed smaller than usual in the clothes she had started wearing for bed, but she was still Clarke. Nothing else mattered. “I’m sure we could find another way to do this where you don’t have to leave.”
“We agreed that this was the best option,” he answered, confused by the change in her demeanor.
“I know, I just—” Clarke sighed, and looked down, where her fingers were playing with a loose thread. “Maybe I should go with you, then. Murphy and Emori are perfectly capable of leading this place on their own. We’ve been working for weeks to keep this place as controlled as we can, and I think it’s not going to make much of a difference if I left with you.”
“You know I’d like you to come with me, but our radios don’t work on this moon and if something comes up, someone needs to fix it immediately. One of us has to stay. And we all agreed this was the better option.”
She bit her lip, probably because those were the same words she used to convince him about the same thing, when they were making a plan to move forward and finally get on with living, following Monty’s advice about being the good guys.
He had no idea what had changed.
Finally, she sighed again, even more tired than before. “I know, but—maybe you should stay then. Gabriel probably could do everything on his own. I mean—”
“Clarke,” he said, getting up and sitting on the bed next to her. “What’s wrong? We’ve already discussed this thousands of times the last couple of months. Ever since we said we’d leave this place, probably. I don’t understand what brought this on.”
“I’m tired,” she confessed, a little frustrated. “My arguments would be better if I knew how to convince you.”
“Convince me of what?”
She shook her head with a tired laugh. “It’s nothing important.”
“Tell me.”
“I don’t want you to go,” she finally admitted. She rolled her eyes when he opened his mouth to speak. “Trust me, I know. It doesn’t make any sense. You’ll be safe out there, you’ll have back up, there will be doctors and healers coming with you, but I just—it feels like every time we’re apart everything goes wrong, and I’m tired of it.”
“Clarke,” he whispered, more than a little fond. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”
It was the echo of words that were whispered in another world, words that brought a sentence over their heads, and he flinched a little at the reminder. She raised an eyebrow, like she knew exactly what he was thinking.
“No one knows that for sure. Once they knew this place was safe—” She grimaced as she said it, probably thinking about all the dangers they encountered when they first landed and then amended, “Well, more or less… They didn’t have any reason to venture anywhere else. So yeah, you don’t know for sure that nothing is going to happen to you, so maybe I should go too, to help with injuries, just in case—”
“Hey,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders, trying to reassure her. “Jackson is coming with us. We’re going to be fine.”
She sighed once more, and looked away. “I know. Or at least I want to believe it, but I really don’t want you to go on your own.” She found his gaze again. “Who’s going to take care of you out there?”
The tenderness in her words was enough to make his heart beat faster inside his chest, and he licked his lips, feeling like they were in the edge of something. During their conversation they’d drifted closer to each other, the distance that separated them before was just gone. Bellamy wanted nothing more than to close the gap between them to press his lips to hers.
He didn’t, of course. There were a lot of things stopping him at that point. He didn’t want to act on it when everything that surrounded them was still so uncertain and there was nothing written in stone. He couldn’t kiss her just once and then forget about it. He wasn’t brave enough to do it and face the morning with the knowledge that he would never get it again.
The biggest reason was the most important, though: she didn’t want him like that.
At least, that’s what he thought until her gaze flickered to his lips, and he just—he couldn’t not do it. He couldn’t stop his mouth from uttering the words, from asking the question.
“What are you saying?”
“Maybe this isn’t the right time to say something about this, but if it makes things awkward, I think it’ll be for the best, if you have time to…” She gulped. “To get over it and forget all about it while you’re gone, so—yeah, I want to take care of you.”
He was a little exasperated, because her words were still too vague. “Is that something we do now?” he asked. “Just like together and I need you? Or do you want this to mean something… something more?”
She bit her lip and then admitted, looking away, “Everything you’re saying… it always meant something more to me.”
He swallowed loudly, and his hands went tentatively to her waist while he bent down just a little, slowly, giving her enough time to pull away from him, to say no.
She didn’t.
Instead, she sighed into his mouth, threading her fingers through his hair and tilting her head to grant him better access. It changed from innocent and soft to deep and dirty in seconds. He pressed himself even closer until her back was against the bed and he was above her, pressing his fingers into her thigh while she moaned into his mouth. Their hands moved desperately, trying to touch everywhere at once and taking their clothes off while their kisses got messier and they giggled against each other’s lips thinking finally.
They didn’t sleep a lot that night, choosing instead to lose themselves in each other under the covers and sighing promises in the darkness.
***
When Bellamy woke up the next morning, he spent the first minutes staring at Clarke with a soft smile. And how could he not? She was beautiful, and he could finally look at her without restraint, without being scared of her discovering how he felt about her if he looked a little too long.
She looked peaceful even in her sleep, and he wondered if it had something to do with him. It wasn’t the first night he spent the night in Clarke’s cabin and he knew for a fact that there was always a little frown in her mouth even when her eyes were closed and she was supposed to be relaxing.
He didn’t know how much time had passed by the time her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. “Hey.”
Fuck, he wanted to wake up just like this every day for the rest of his life. He wanted to share a bed with her and go to sleep every night by her side, live in a little cabin with her where they could talk for hours and just… be happy.
“Hey,” he answered, kissing her. He wondered if he’d ever be able to stop. She cupped his jaw and kissed him back, soft, until he pulled away with a sigh. “I have to go.”
She didn’t ask him not to go, like she did last night. Instead, she whispered. “I know.”
He raised an eyebrow, running one of his fingers down her arm and smirking a little when she shivered. “Really?”
Clarke smiled, a little embarrassed. He didn’t know if it was because of what she said the day before or for her shivering. “I am still worried and don’t want anything to happen to you, but—I know you feel like you need to do it and I don’t want to make decisions for you.”
He kissed her again, just because he could. “I just want to make sure everything goes well.”
She sighed, resigned. “I just wish we didn’t have to be separated ever again.”
Bellamy pulled her close, tightening his hold on her when she wrapped one of her arms around his waist. “I know, but when I come back I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay?” He pressed a kiss to her temple, and felt her dropping one of her own on his chest. He inhaled deeply, nervous. “Besides, now that we are together, I really want to build our home.”
She smiled up at him after pulling away. “Really?”
“If the things I said last night weren’t clear enough, yeah.” He kissed her again. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I have no doubts about that. So—if you want to live with me, we’ll do it.”
“We’ll have to take Madi with us, too,” she said, tentatively.
“Of course we will,” he told her with a smile that vanished seconds later. “Unless you want to wait and let her get used to the idea of me being a part of your life like this. I wouldn’t be mad, if you think it’s too fast—”
“No, not at all,” she interrupted him. “We already waited long enough, and I know for sure that Madi will be okay when I tell her that we’re together.”
“Are you sure?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course. Why do you think she’s not in the cabin right now? She loves spending time with Gaia, but she’s been pushing me to say something to you for weeks, too. She thought something would happen if she left us alone for more than a few minutes.”
“Well, I’m really happy you said something. I’m not sure I would have done the same thing, I was too scared to ruin what we already had.”
Her expression softened. “I was scared too, but—now I’m just so happy.”
He smiled at her. “I know the feeling.” He ducked his head until his lips were against her neck but she jumped a little, laughing.
“What?” he asked, pulling away.
“Your beard itches.”
He smirked. “That’s not what you were saying last night.”
She laughed. “Oh, shut up.”
“Well, if the princess hates the beard…” Bellamy started to remove the covers around him, but she stopped him.
“I don’t hate it,” she grumbled, holding him close. “I’ll get used to it. I just miss your jawline; I can’t see a lot of it with all that hair covering your face.”
“I’ll shave, I promise.”
“You don’t need to. I love you, Bellamy. Beard or no beard.”
It wasn’t the first time one of them said the words, not even the first time he’d heard them coming from her mouth, but he already knew he would never get tired of it.
“I love you, too.”
“You better,” she told him, almost teasing, but the playfulness that surrounded them vanished soon because they both knew he had to go.
“I promise I’ll come back soon. I’ll be out there just a couple of months, maybe.”
She smiled, but it was sad. “You know you can’t promise something like that.” She bit her lip. “Just—come back, okay? I’ll be waiting for you.”
He swallowed. “Are you sure?”
She caressed his cheek. “I’ve waited for you before, Bellamy. You’re worth every second.”
Leaving the ship the moment the doors open doesn’t mean anything, when he’s one of the leaders. He spends more than an hour with Raven, trying to get everything under control and answering with patience when someone asks about their new home.
If he’s honest with himself, he was expecting to see Clarke waiting for him, or at least coming to see him once she realized he was back, but she’s nowhere to be seen and he curses, low, because of course she isn’t. Just like he has his duties, she probably does too, and there’s no urgent reason for her to see him. He’ll probably have to wait a while to have his reunion with her.
Maybe she regrets what happened that night, whispers a treacherous voice in his mind, but Bellamy immediately vanishes the thought. It’s just not possible.
The first face he recognizes among the crowd is Miller’s and he walks in his direction immediately, trying to avoid everyone else and find somewhere quieter. They talk about the arrangements that were made even before he left Sanctum, and Miller says that they found another five families who want to leave with them. Bellamy assures him that there’s space those who want to go, and the other man nods.
He’s about to ask about Clarke when someone calls Miller’s name and walks away. Echo catches sight of him and smiles.
It’s confusing, because the last time he saw her, she wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, let alone smile. She doesn’t forgive easily and they didn’t break up in the best of terms, when they both were aware that the reason Bellamy had never been able to love her completely was alive and breathing. It probably would’ve been easier on her if he hadn’t abandoned everyone in the middle of a war just for the chance to save Clarke.
“I heard you did a good job in our new settlement,” she offers when she reaches his side, sounding a little awkward.
“Yeah, everyone did a good job,” he answers, still confused. “I hope everything went well over here and no one caused any trouble.”
She dismisses his worries with a wave of her hand. “There were a few problems here and there, but nothing that Murphy and Emori couldn’t fix.”
He frowns. “What about Clarke?”
She snorts, humorless. “She couldn’t help when we really needed her.”
His frown only deepens. That doesn’t sound like Clarke at all. “Is she okay?”
Echo presses her lips together, as if she’s disappointed by his reaction, but he doesn’t know what she was expecting. Clarke stayed because she wanted to help Murphy and Emori. If she didn’t help when they needed her the most, there must be something wrong.
What if she was sick? Hell. What if she is sick, and not telling anything to anyone because she’s Clarke and she hates when people worry about her?
“She’s fine, but—well, you’ll find out for yourself once you see her. Apparently she was pretty busy after you left—and not exactly running things,” she says dryly, oblivious to the scary thoughts running through his mind.
He opens his mouth to ask for more details, but she’s already walking towards Raven, leaving him alone. He stands there for a few seconds until he forces his feet to move.
On his way to Clarke’s cabin, it feels like he’s intercepted by everyone who lives in the entire village, and every time someone new asks him something, all he wants to do is scream. It feels like he won’t be able to check if Clarke’s okay or not anytime soon.
At least, that’s what he thinks until he finds Madi while he’s talking to Indra about the trades they made when he was gone. She’s asking him if a few details that changed over the last few months will be a problem when they get to their new home, and he assures her that it won’t and—well, he doesn’t exactly find Madi. She finds him.
She’s frowning with her arms crossed in front of her and when Indra notices her presence, she startles, glancing at the girl and then to him again.
“We’ll talk later, Bellamy,” the warrior says, looking at him with understanding and something that looks a lot like respect. “I’m pretty sure there are some things you need to take care of, and I’d hate to keep you when we can talk about this later—or maybe even tomorrow.”
She doesn’t say anything else before leaving, and he couldn’t be more confused. Why is everyone talking like that? Saying too little for him to understand and enough to make him nervous? Indra has been making demands on her people’s behalf for months—years, probably, but it’s not like he was there to see what happened when they were on the bunker—and it isn’t like her to leave a conversation just like that.
It’s not like he doesn’t appreciate Madi’s presence, though. If there’s someone who can tell him what’s going on with Clarke, it’s probably her.
“Hey, Madi,” he offers, hesitant and too nervous.
“Have you seen Murphy?” she demands.
He frowns. “No. Why?”
Her annoyance fades and she rolls her eyes, letting her arms fall to her sides. “Nothing, he said that he would tell you that—” She shakes her head. “Forget it. Clarke is waiting for you at her cabin and I thought you were avoiding her.”
He sighs in relief now that he knows for sure that Clarke is not the one avoiding him. “I thought she didn’t want to see me.”
She huffs, exasperated. “Well, you were wrong. She really wants to see you, so now you’re coming with me,” she tells him, taking his hand and dragging him after her. Strangely, it reminds him of their first meeting, but he’s glad no one is in danger this time—or at least he hopes so.
He follows without a word, and no one tries to stop him this time to ask anything. He’s thankful for it, but his nerves are all over the place, and he just hopes Clarke is okay.
When Bellamy stands in front of her door, he remembers that the last time he was here, Clarke kissed him goodbye. It brings a soft smile to his lips, but it’s gone as soon as it comes because if Clarke hadn’t changed her mind about them, she would’ve greeted him when he landed, wouldn’t she?
Was she waiting for him to come back to tell him that maybe they shouldn’t try to be together after all?
His thoughts are interrupted when Madi says, “Good luck.”
“Wait,” he calls after her, a little desperate. “You don’t want to come with me?”
She rolls her eyes, looking entertained and just a little fond. “Clarke wanted to talk to you alone. Just go inside, Bellamy.”
He clenches his jaw, trying to calm his nerves. Clarke probably already heard his voice and he’d be a coward if he just left, so he just takes a deep breath and opens the door.
The first thing he notices is that the furniture has been moved and Clarke is facing him, sitting on a chair behind the dinner table while she bites her lip and plays with her fingers. Her eyes light up when they meet his, but she doesn’t stand to kiss him, like he thought she would. They haven’t seen each other in six months and he thought she’d be more excited than this when he came back. He thought she would hug him tight, that she’d run to meet him when he landed, and instead—
He has no idea what’s going on. Did he wait too long to come back to her and she’s already too tired of waiting?
“Hey,” she says, smiling, a little nervous, and he knows it’s just a word, but it calms him down. The love he saw in her eyes before he left it’s still there, behind all that nervousness.
He can’t believe he thought for a second that she was about to end things with him.
He’s still worried, though. ‘She was pretty busy after you left—and not exactly running things?’ What the hell does that mean?
”Hey,” he says back. Her hair is in a ponytail and she looks beautiful, like she always does. “I thought—” He clears his throat, starts again. “You weren’t there.”
She winces a little, so she knows exactly what he means. “I am sorry about that, I—” She looks down at her hands. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
He frowns, but this time he’s more worried than confused. “You could’ve done that there.”
She smiles a little, but it’s a little shaky. “I’m not so sure about that. Could you, um—sit?”
He moves the chair and does just that. “What is it?”
“It’s just—a few months after you left I started, uh—feeling weird,” she says, and he swears it feels like he stops breathing, but he lets her continue anyway, growing even more concerned by the second. “And I really wanted to tell you, but—well, as you know, the anomaly made sure we couldn’t talk to each other and we all agreed that it was for the best if your team didn’t return unless they had an emergency or by the time you thought the compound was mostly done.” Her eyes widen. “Wait, is it done or…?”
“Almost done.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But now I just—I know we agreed to it, but—fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have done that, or—never left, come back earlier—”
“Bellamy,” she interrupts with a smile. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. You needed me and I wasn’t here, with you.” He swallows, hard. “Are you—hurt, sick, what—”
She blinks in surprise and then her expression fills with horror, and she takes one of his hands over the table. “No, no,” she rushes to interrupt. “I’m not sick, and I’m not hurt, okay? I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asks, not bothering to hide his worry.
She looks apologetic, and he doesn’t understand why until she says, “I’m sorry, you were probably worried, and I didn’t even think about what I was saying. I’m just… nervous right now, but I’m fine,” she assures him, and he relaxes when he realizes that she’s telling the truth, and not trying to hide something.
“Then what is it?”
“I just—I thought it’d be better if I told you here. And now that I know that it doesn’t work when I try to talk around it, I guess I’ll just have to say it.” She squeezes his hand and he puts the other on top of hers when she sighs. “I am pregnant.”
His world stops for a second or two, and then he blinks in surprise. “What?”
“Yeah. I obviously didn’t notice before you left because, well—” She blushes a little. “We had just—anyway,” she says, a little too bright. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. I’m not sick, I’m pregnant and—I wanted to tell you before,” she rushes to say, while he’s still processing the news. “I had a plan for it, when I just realized and it wasn’t that obvious, but you didn’t come back then and now, well, it’s not something I can hide as easily,” she says, looking down at her stomach.
His gaze goes there, and he finally realizes why she was waiting for him like this. He can’t see anything from the other side of the table, and he would’ve noticed in a second if she hadn’t been hiding on the other side.
He doesn’t know what to do or say. He had imagined having a family with Clarke thousands of times when he was nothing more than a reckless boy on the ground who pretended to know what he was doing, but he had forced himself to stop dreaming about it when he left her behind and his hope for a bright future had been as broken as his heart.
The last time he saw her, she admitted to him that she wasn’t sure if she could have kids after all that happened to her during and after Praimfaya, but it seems like it wasn’t a problem at all.
“A baby?” he asks, shocked.
She smiles, even more nervous than before. “Yeah.”
He swallows and stands without letting go of her hands. “Can I—?”
He doesn’t have the words, but they have always been pretty great talking with their eyes, so she understands and nods, letting go of his hands so she can get up. Once she’s on her feet, she takes one of them back until it rests against her stomach, and it feels real for the first time. Clarke is pregnant.
Fuck. He’s going to have a kid.
“Holy shit,” he says, smiling, the news sinking in. He can see in her expression that she’s more nervous about his reaction than anything else, that she wants this, too. Tears gather in his eyes and he just—he can’t believe it.
He never thought he’d cry for something like this. He never could’ve imagined that someone could be this happy, that he could be this happy. That Clarke was going to change his world once again by telling him that she was pregnant, that he would have the opportunity to have a child with the woman he loved.
Fuck. He’s going to be a father.
“Yeah, that was… pretty much my reaction, too,” she answers, trying to smile, but the nervousness wins and she bites her lip. “Are you… are you happy?”
“Of course I am.” He laughs a little, incredulous. “I’m—Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been felt like this. We’re having a baby,” he says in wonder. He cups her cheek with the hand that’s not on top of her belly and bends down to kiss her, soft and with all the love he feels for her. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she says, smiling against his lips, and kissing him back with fervor. “I was just a little worried.”
“Why?” he asks, baffled.
“I don’t know. I knew… I know you love kids and a part of me thought that you’d want this, but the other part of me was afraid that maybe you wouldn’t want me by the time you came back. It seemed too good to be true, you know?”
“I get what you mean,” he says, soft. “But we’re here now, and we’re happy, having a baby.”
“Yeah, we are.” She bites her lip and then admits, “I didn’t tell anyone but Madi.”
Bellamy gives her a puzzled smile, looking down at her belly. “I’m pretty sure everyone noticed.”
She chuckles. “I meant yeah, they know I’m pregnant, but no one else knows that you’re the father. Just Madi.”
“Really?”
“I really wanted you to be the first to know. Madi knows just because she’s too smart for her own good.”
“And what does she think?” She groans, hiding her face behind her hands. He can’t help but smile, relaxing at the sound with his hands on her hips. “What?”
“When I finally told her that I was pregnant, she asked if the baby was yours, and then spent an entire week congratulating me for it.” She bites her lip, letting her hands fall against his chest. “She is excited about being a big sister.”
“Yeah?”
“I am excited about the baby, too,” she admits in a whisper, as if scared that the world could steal the words from her lips.
He shakes his head, laughing, so full of joy he wants to scream it at the world. Some part of him still doesn’t believe this is real. “How did I get so damn lucky?”
“I am the lucky one,” she declares.
He doesn’t have a response to that, not when it’s still such a surprise that she loves him as much as he loves her, so he just—kisses her. Now that they’ve talked about everything and they know where they stand, she doesn’t hold herself back, and threads her fingers through his hair, tugging a little, just like she’s learnt he likes.
A desperate sound comes from her mouth and he smirks. “Someone’s eager, huh?”
“I—” She gasps when he starts dropping kisses along her neck. “You have no idea.”
Her hand tugs at the hem of his shirt and he laughs.
“It’s the middle of the day,” he reminds her, voice muffled against the skin of her collarbone.
“Don’t care.” She pulls away a little to look at him. “You’ve been away for six months, Bellamy. I don’t really care about the suns right now.”
And, well, he doesn’t either.
Later, they are on the couch, talking about the things they missed while they were apart when Madi comes back.
“I hope you’re decent!” she warns them, opening the door. “I’m bringing cookies!” She’s covering her eyes with one of her hands and holding a bag with the other when she closes the door behind her and Clarke snorts. “Are you decent?” she asks, a little doubtful, standing in the middle of the room.
Bellamy chuckles, kissing Clarke’s hair. “Yes, Madi.”
The girl sighs in relief and lets her hand fall. She grins when she sees them. Clarke is sitting between his legs on the couch, leaning against his chest, and he’s rubbing circles under her shirt, feeling the baby moving every once in a while, trying to enjoy every little thing before they have to go outside and face the world.
Madi opens the bag and then gives it to Clarke after taking a cookie for herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, looking in Bellamy’s direction. “I think they need the both of you out there.”
Clarke turns and offers him a cookie with a sad smile. “Guess we have to go back to work.”
He presses a kiss to her mouth, and then looks at Madi. She’s biting her lip to contain her grin. “We’ll be there in a minute. But for now—why don’t you sit with us and tell me what has happened here in the last few months?”
The girl nods and sits on the floor in front of them, speaking about some of the kids she’s been talking to, the Christmas gifts, and the cookies Clarke’s been asking for because the baby apparently loves them.
Bellamy presses a kiss to Clarke’s hair, wondering if his life will be like this from now on. He would love to go home every day and find his own little family waiting for him.
This is the best gift he's ever had, and he can't wait to live the rest of his life.