Work Text:
Kibum stares at Jonghyun when he comes into the quiet coffee shop. The older smiles at him brightly and sits next to him in their usual spot at the corner table by the window.
”What did you do to your hair?” He asks, a little shocked.
”Does it look bad?” Jonghyun looks up, trying to see his own hair.
It’s bright and pink. A bubblegum pink. And for some reason, it doesn’t look absolutely ridiculous like it should. It looks good on him. Though even if it didn’t he probably had absolutely no right to judge Kibum decides as he thinks back to his own crazy hairstyles.
”No, it’s cute,” Kibum says and smiles.
”Thanks.” A smile.
Jonghyun pulls a pile of music sheets out of his bag and scatters them around the table. They are full of markings, Kibum notices as he pushes a few away from his sketchbook.
”What are you working on?” He asks as the other creates an even bigger mess with the papers.
”This one…”
”Jjong?”
”Oh, this one song. I just don’t seem to get it right.”
”I’m sure you will figure it out,” Kibum says as his empty coffee cup disappears from the table.
He looks up and meets Taemin’s eyes. The younger places a new steaming cup in front of him and smiles. His hair is too long, covering half of his face behind it.
”I didn’t order this?” He questions.
”Hyung, you always order a second cup sooner or later.”
”You are a treasure Taemin,” Kibum says and smiles after taking a sip of the coffee.
Taemin looks down to the floor so that he is fully hiding behind his hair. He mumbles something that Kibum doesn’t catch and then hurries back to the counter. Jonghyun laughs and Kibum throws a pen at him.
-
When they first met Kibum is five years old. He had just cut his own hair with his mom’s craft scissors the previous day. It’s all a different length on the sides and his bangs are too short. Jonghyun looks at him for a moment, smiles, and then asks does he want to draw with him. Kibum wants.
Jonghyun uses a lot of blues, Kibum learns soon. It’s nice. He gets to have all the reds. And greens. And yellows. He draws in big bold lines where Jonghyun’s lines are precise and small. There is blue all over the other one’s fingers. Kibum thinks it looks pretty.
”What do you like?” He asks one day when they sit outside.
”The piano,” Jonghyun answers without looking up from his ice cream.
”Okay.”
”Okay.”
”I like to draw,” Kibum says.
”Okay.”
”And I like you,” he continues.
”Okay.”
Jonghyun looks now at him and smiles.
Their conversations are very one-sided but Kibum doesn’t really mind. Jonghyun is quiet but he likes to sing. His mother says the other one sounds like an angel. Kibum isn’t sure because he has never met an angel but Jonghyun must be at least very close.
-
It’s Saturday and it rains. Because of course, it rains right after Kibum has had his hair done. He sighs and sits down across from Jonghyun. He gives him a quick smile, barely looking up from his notebook. The coffee shop seems to always be quiet but right now there are no other customers.
”Hi,” Jinki says and offers him a towel.
”Thank you,” Kibum says as he takes the towel and buries his face into it.
”He has been like that since he arrived three hours ago,” the older continues and points at Jonghyun.
Kibum nods. He knows what the other is like, gets too hooked on what he is doing. Sometimes Jonghyun writes music like his life depends on it. And when he gets like this there is no stopping him. Kibum gets it. He can sit behind the sewing machine for hours without noticing, trying to get his sketch to come to life exactly as he imagined.
Maybe that’s why they have been friends for such a long time. Even though they are the polar opposites on some things, they still are very similar on other things.
”Can I get a coffee?” Kibum asks
When he looks up three seconds later Jinki is already pressing the buttons of the coffee machine. Kibum isn’t sure what he did in his past life to deserve a friend who owns a coffee shop but he will always be thankful for it.
Jonghyun has his headphones on and nods his head along to whatever he is listening to. His eyes are closed and he is biting on his bottom lip like every time he really focuses on something. It’s very cute Kibum thinks.
He gets his coffee. Jinki gets a cup for himself too and sits down next to Kibum. They sit in silence for a long time just listening to Jonghyun type something on his laptop and the rain hammering to the windows. It’s cosy and warm inside the coffee shop and he feels calm for the first time in a long time. He hopes the moment could last forever.
-
Minho yells. He always does while playing the football game which Kibum bought him as a birthday gift. In moments like this, he regrets doing so. He never remembers what buttons he should be pressing.
To be honest he doesn’t even remember how he ended up here. At Minho’s place of all places in the world. There sure had been a glass of wine or maybe two. Or three. Then he was lonely and Minho lives only three blocks away.
Kibum’s character is running a circle as Minho scores one more goal just before the game ends. He loses 9-1. The one goal was an accident. He has pressed every button at once and got lucky. Minho drops the controller to his lap and turns to look at him instead of the TV screen. His brows are furrowed.
”Talk.”
”About what?” Kibum asks.
”Something is bothering you,” Minho says and he hates how right he is.
”It’s nothing,” he still says.
”We can of course play another game too.”
Kibum throws the controller in the direction of Minho but misses by an almost whole meter. The other one raises his eyebrows and then smiles knowingly.
”It’s about Jonghyun, isn’t it?”
He doesn’t answer but Minho takes that as an answer too. He reaches from the other corner of the couch and pats Kibum’s knee.
”Don’t worry, Jonghyun is a good person.”
”I know.”
Kibum sighs and moves across the couch to Minho’s open arms. He lets his head rest on the other’s shoulder. Minho is warm, he is always warm. Minho is safe. He sighs and closes his eyes.
”You should tell him.”
”I will, one day.”
-
They are skipping sports by hiding in the closet. Kibum can hear Jonghyun breathing next to his ear in the darkness. Even though all the noise coming from the other side of the wall. A stray ball hits the closet door and he flinches. Jonghyun laughs quietly by his side.
”What’s the time?” He asks.
It feels like they have been there for an eternity already. They are sitting between a pile of yoga mats and a cart of tennis rackets.
”We still have half an hour left,” Jonghyun answers.
Kibums sighs loudly as an answer. The other one moves next to him, accidentally hitting him on the side with his elbow.
”Sorry.”
He doesn’t say anything because he suddenly forgets how to breathe as Jonghyun rests his head on Kibum’s shoulder. His heart is going crazy inside his chest and he hopes the other can’t feel it.
”I’m going to take nap, wake me up when we can leave,” Jonghyun mumbles into his skin.
”Okay,” is all he can get out of his mouth.
This is stupid he thinks. They have been friends for over ten years at this point. They have had countless sleepovers. Hell, he has seen Jonghyun without a shirt more times than he can count anymore. They have skipped class together in this tiny closet hundreds of times before too. So why does this time feels so different?
It’s because you love him, offers the voice in the back of his head helpfully.
Kibum wants to scream. Or not, he doesn’t want to wake up Jonghyun. Jonghyun looks calm and beautiful in his sleep. Even though it’s so dark in the closet that he can barely see in front of him. But he knows Jonghyun is beautiful. He has always been.
-
When Kibum steps into the coffee shop he is greeted by a new face behind the counter. Or not greeted actually, the boy has his headphones on and didn’t hear him coming in. He walks to him shaking some snow from his shoulders, and rings the bell on the counter.
”Hi, where is Jinki?” Kibum asks.
Up close he notices how young the other one is. He has too long hair that hides half of his face and he is wearing a too big hoodie. The boy blinks at him through his bangs.
”What?” The boy asks him as he takes his headphones off.
At that exact moment, Jinki walks in from the back door. He is smiling widely and holding a tray full of warm bread straight from the oven. For some reason the sight makes Kibum feel at home. Maybe because he seems to spend more time at the coffee shop than at his own house these days.
”Hi, your usual?” He asks as he sets the bread down.
”Yeah, thank you. Who is this?” He asks and looks at the boy who is half hiding behind Jinki now.
”Oh, this is Taemin.”
Jinki turns his back as he takes a cup from the shelf and places it under the coffee machine. Taemin waves at him looking a little out of place.
”I found him hanging around the back door in the cold so I let him hang around here inside.”
Taemin shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal to hang around alone in the cold in the middle of the winter. The boy seems a little weird but there is something in him that makes Kibum not want to look away. And usually, the best people are the little weirder ones, right?
”Jinki, you are a saint,” Kibum says after he has devoured half of his coffee on one gulp.
Taemin laughs at that and Kibum is sure it’s one of the most beautiful things he has ever heard in his life.
-
The ocean air feels cold against his cheeks. No one else seems to notice it and Kibum doesn’t really mind it that much either. Minho is standing tall and warm next to him, one hand hanging heavy on his shoulders.
”I told him,” he says, staring at the ocean.
It has actually been a few months already. He just didn’t know how to say it aloud. They are still best friends, they will be for life, Kibum knows that. Something still has changed between them. Jonghyun is freer, or so it seems. And Kibum is happy too.
”Oh, how did it go?” Minho asks.
The beach is empty. Of course, it is. Who in their right mind would come to the beach on this cold autumn day? Well apart from them of course. He can feel Minho’s eyes on him but he looks away. His eyes naturally finding their way to Jonghyun. The other is running on the frosty sand, Jinki and Taemin behind him.
”It’s okay,” he smiles.
”Okay.”
That’s all Minho says and hugs him. It’s okay. It’s enough that they are here. All five of them like this. Together. The waves crash to the shore quietly. Minho is warm against him and Taemin’s laughter is filling the beach like a song.
Suddenly the youngest stops running after Jonghyun. He has been chasing the other around the beach for the past ten minutes. He smiles widely behind his ridiculously long hair and waves at them.
”Kibum!” He screams happily.
And starts running towards him. That brat. He surely knows Kibum hates running more than- more than most things in the world. He screams as he sprints in the other direction. Taemin laughs.
The younger is a lot faster than he is. And maybe Kibum lets him win every time because he likes the way it makes Taemin’s eyes lit up. His eyes go all sparkly behind his bangs and his smile is all teeth and Kibum can’t stop himself from smiling either.
Taemin wraps his hands around Kibum’s stomach and they fall into a giggling pile of limbs to the cold sand. He is warm too Kibum learns and hugs him a little tighter.
-
They are all gathered in Kibum’s living room to celebrate his birthday. It’s all warm and fuzzy around him. There are empty takeout boxes and wine bottles on the table. He is sitting on the floor on a pile of torn wrapping paper.
Minho has already fallen asleep on the couch a while ago. Jinki is sitting next to him and he is talking to Taemin with big hand movements. The youngest of them sits on the floor, resting his back on the table. He laughs every now and then at something Jinki says to him. His cheeks are glowing red from too much wine.
It has gone dark outside a long time ago. It’s dim in the living room too. There is a light coming from the kitchen behind Jonghyun. Otherwise, the only source of light is the few candles he had lit sometime earlier in the night.
Jonghyun is sitting on an armchair and when Kibum turns to look at him the other is already smiling at him. His hair is white and fluffy and the soft light makes it look like a halo around his head. Kibum thinks he looks beautiful like this and he tells him so too.
”Kibum is pretty too,” Jonghyun tells him.
His cheeks feel warm but he blames the wine. And spicy food. And the room temperature. There are simply too many people in the small room. He should probably open a window, let some air in. Instead, he sits on his place like he is rooted there.
When Jonghyun reaches his hand he takes it like he has done so many times before. His hand is warm and soft. It’s okay, Kibum decides at that moment. It’s okay even if Jonghyun will never love him back like he loves him. It’s enough to have him like this on his side.
”Happy birthday Kibum,” Jonghyun whispers and squeezes his hand.
-
It’s already dark when they are walking home from school. The streetlights are off, have been for a while now on this road. Kibum hates walking here. No matter how old he is he doesn’t like the dark. At least he doesn’t have to do it alone, he reminds himself as he looks at Jonghyun who is walking by his side.
Jonghyun has one of his earphones on and the other one is hanging down his side, swinging in rhythm with his steps. Kibum knows it’s the song he has been working on for weeks now. Usually, he gets to listen every single thing he is working on. This song though, he watches Jonghyun work on it but he hasn’t heard a single note of it yet.
”Jonghyun?”
He asks even though he has nothing to say. He just dislikes the stillness of the late night. Kibum likes things moving, bright, and alive.
”Hm?”
Jonghyun stops and Kibum has to take two steps backwards to stand next to him. He looks at the other one. He has closed his eyes like he is trying to decide what to do.
Then he opens his eyes and looks straight to Kibum. He offers the earphone to him that has been hanging loose. It’s dark and there are stars in the sky and on Jonghyun’s eyes too. He takes the earphone.
”It’s missing something,” Jonghyun says.
”Okay.”
Then he presses play. Kibum isn’t sure is he breathing anymore. The song plays quietly, almost like in the background as he looks at Jonghyun. This is it, he decides. This is the most beautiful moment of his life and nothing will ever be able to top it.
The song ends and Kibum smiles.
”It’s perfect.”
-
It’s a lazy morning. They are laying on Jonghyun’s bed, all tangled up on the sheets. Kibum is resting his head on Jonghyun’s chest. It’s quiet and the soft morning light is spilling into the room through the curtains.
”I think I love you,” Kibum says.
Jonghyun goes still under him, he can feel how his muscles go tense. He doesn’t dare to move either. Why he even would say that? That’s his best friend.
”I’m sorry-” he starts but Jonghyun won’t let him finish.
”Kibum it’s okay.”
The other one relaxes and his hand finds his, interlocking their fingers.
”I love you too,” Jonghyun says, sounding a little sad. Kibum can’t remember how to breathe anymore.
”But not like that.”
”Is it me?” Kibum wants to run.
”No, never. It’s me.”
They both stay quiet for a long time after that. Kibum still wants to run but Jonghyun is squeezing his fingers so much that his blood isn’t circulating properly anymore.
”I think… I think I’m like this with everyone,” Jonghyun eventually says quietly.
”Oh.”
Kibum sits up. Jonghyun is looking in the other direction, refusing to meet his gaze.
”Jonghyun, it’s okay. Really.”
For a moment he doesn’t move. Then he sits up too and Kibum hugs him. Hugs him like he is big enough to hide him from the world. Like his mother used to hug him when he was young. Like everything really will be alright.
”I still love you,” he says.
Jonghyun is crying now. Quiet sobs against his shoulder and Kibum hugs him harder. Tries to make him feel that it’s truly okay even if he doesn’t believe his words.
”Kibum you will find someone wonderful who will love you as much as you deserve and in the way you deserve.”
He is crying too now. Kibum has carried his love for his best friend quietly for years. But he has always known who he is, he has never tried to hide it. how hard it must have been for the other, to carry this all alone.
”It’s okay, it’s okay…” He keeps whispering.
”If I loved someone it would be you Kibum.”
-
Kibum knows Jonghyun likes the piano. It was one of the first things he ever learned about him when they were younger. It has been a few years since that but he has never heard Jonghyun play before. Not until today. Jonghyun’s mother had let him and told him to be quiet.
Jonghyun sits behind a piano by the window. He has his eyes half-closed and his fingers move on the keyboards like on their own. It’s almost magical, Kibum thinks.
When he stops Jonghyun’s mother claps and smiles proudly. Kibum is too stunned to do anything else but stare.
”Hi?” Jonghyun says when he looks up and notices him.
It sounds like a question and it makes him come out of his trance. He smiles widely and walks to the piano.
”You are really good.”
”Thanks,” Jonghyun smiles at him, looking a little shy.
”Really. You are incredible.”
That makes the other ones’ cheeks turn into a beautiful shade of pink. It makes Kibum laugh. He sits next to him and looks at the keys and notes. So many things that he doesn’t understand anything about.
”Can you teach me to play something too?”
Jonghyun looks surprised at first but then smiles again. He flips through his notes and eventually chooses one page.
”Of course.”
Kibum smiles. When Jonghyun is teaching he will soon play the piano as beautifully as the other does, he thinks. Though he never does learn but it’s okay. Like Jonghyun never learns to use his sewing machine but that’s okay too.
-
The coffee shop is quiet like usual. Jonghyun is sitting on the other side of the in front of him like usual. He has his headphones on and is working on something on his laptop. Kibum has his sketchbook and pile of fabric scraps. He can’t seem to decide which one to use for his new project.
Taemin comes from the backdoor, his long hair tied on a ponytail. He is smiling widely as he sits down on their table, gluing himself to Kibum’s side.
”Hi,” he says, and Jonghyun waves at him without looking up from his laptop.
”He is in the zone again,” Kibum says, and the younger nods.
The older one has been working on something new again. No one of them has been allowed to hear or see anything yet. Kibum still knows it will be great because everything Jonghyun does is never less than that.
”Yah! That was mine,” he says.
Taemin steals his coffee cup but Kibum makes no actual effort to stop him. The other made the coffee in the first place so technically it’s his. The younger grins at him over the rim of the cup.
”It’s too sweet,” he states as he puts the cup down.
Well, Kibum might have drowned four sugars in his cup because he knew Taemin would steal it at some point. And besides, he likes his coffee sweet. The younger laughs like he knows that. Maybe he does, he has a strange habit of knowing things Kibum never tells him.
The coffee shop is quiet like usual. Jonghyun is working as usual. Kibum is working like usual too. What is unusual is that there is a third one on their table. Taemin sits next to him and stares at him like he is the whole world. And they are holding hands under the table.
Kibum is happy. He is lucky to have people like this in his life.
Taemin gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and then he blushes. It’s cute. It’s okay.
Everything is okay.