Archive of Our Own

First day. Let go of loneliness.

It’s April.

Ibuki Munemasa inhales the smell of cherry blossoms that permeates the garden of Raimon, the small school where Master Gouenji teaches young wizards how to control their powers. This is already his home, much more than his home in Kyoto.

Kyoto is also full of cherry trees, but he can no longer be himself without being looked upon with suspicion by his own parents. In fact, it is strange that his family hasn’t taken him somewhere to torture him to drive out the demons they suspect rule his soul. It was just a coincidence that his father heard of a certain Gouenji Shuuya, a wizard who welcomes boys like him in the valley below Mount Ikeda.

Munemasa finally understood that something was wrong with him during a winter day, when in anger—yeah, he, who usually prefers to stay silent, felt an uncontrollable anger—he lifted his father with the force of his thought and threw him on the floor immediately after. To protect his mother, who was being beaten by his husband for the umpteenth time.

When he arrived at Raimon, Master Gouenji explained to him that he has the special power of being able to control gravitational force: he can decide what to levitate in the air and what to let on the ground. However, magic is not just about having a special power. Master Gouenji is teaching him, as he does to all the other students, how to make potions, how to make some spells, how to care for herbs and magical creatures.

Magic is one, it decides who to flow into and then it adapts to each soul, creating the special power.

Munemasa feels better there, at Raimon. He can be who he really is without being judged, after years of trying to hide that he was carrying weights levitating them with the power of his thought and that he had been the cause of some mysterious damage to people he didn’t like very much.

His fellow students have been there much longer than he has; they are lucky enough to have families that are much less closed minded about magic than his and, perhaps for this reason, they had the opportunity to embrace immediately their essence. Munemasa had to wait to turn seventeen, after a life spent alone, marginalized by everyone.

Now he is alone anyway. Everyone seems to be great friends; they have known each other for some time and have been through a lot together, at least that is what he has heard around.

Master Gouenji is the only person he trusts. However, he is used, by now, to loneliness. In these days during which everyone left for Hanami, he hopes to enjoy his loneliness more than usual.

He never understood the obsession of pilgrimage to see cherry trees. Especially when Master Gouenji’s are so many and so beautiful. Munemasa wouldn’t go back to Kyoto to see cherry blossoms in no way. And, after all, he doesn’t come from a rich family which travels for Hanami, like his schoolmates.

A few petals have already fallen to the ground. The fresh breeze stirs the leaves, spreading the scent of the flowers in every corner. Munemasa breathes deeply. He feels so at peace with himself. And, as he walks on the lawn, making a few petals twirl around him thanks to his power, the sound of a stringed instrument from inside the wooden building that has housed him for three months now adds to the atmosphere.

Munemasa relaxes. Everything is perfect; it almost seems as if the elements are aligning with him to help him find inner balance.

But then, a face comes to his mind. The face of the one who is probably playing the musical instrument, creating that delicious melody. Shindou Takuto.

Munemasa is not very sociable and rarely likes someone, but that Shindou is really an unbearable person. He knows it’s him because everyone talks about his talent as a musician and also because he is the only schoolmate who hasn’t left for Hanami. Munemasa doesn’t know why he didn’t leave with the others and, honestly, he doesn’t care.

It’s the first day of the break and he hasn’t met Shindou yet. He will likely meet him at meals, where they will be alone with Master Gouenji. This thing makes him a little bit anxious. It is true, Shindou is unbearable, but Munemasa can’t deny that he is one of the smartest people he has ever met. He is probably the best in school, almost perfect at both controlling his own power and mastering pure magic. Munemasa is a rookie in comparison; however, he can only feel a mixture of admiration and envy towards that boy. He would like to become as good as him. He would like someone to look at him like Shindou’s friends look at that boy.

The petals fall ruinously on the lawn, no longer swaying in the air. Munemasa sits under a tree and wonders if maybe he doesn’t love his loneliness as he wants to show.

Master Gouenji made chicken rice balls.

Master Gouenji is good at everything he does, Munemasa thinks, swallowing the first bite of his dinner.

They are sitting much closer than usual, being only three.

Master Gouenji asks them what they did during the day. Shindou says he played that musical instrument Munemasa cannot even name and walked around among the manuscripts kept in the shelves of the reading room, while Munemasa shrugs and tells about his walk in the nature.

Of course, Shindou has something interesting to tell. Of course, he did not waste the day lazing around as he did.

Munemasa tries not to frown too much or he will get a headache.

“I think the two of you should spend some time together,” Master Gouenji comments, after a few minutes of silence. “You should know each other better. After all, you weren’t very welcoming to Ibuki, right, Shindou?”

The boy winces and his jolt makes his brown curls dance. The fringe falls badly over his eyes and he is forced to move it away with his wrist, since his hands are dirty with rice.

He is almost adorable, Munemasa thinks, immediately regretting it.

However, the topic touched upon by Master Gouenji embarrasses him more than his thoughts on Shindou. Everyone has noticed that he can’t be friends with anyone, mostly because it is his fault, right? It’s him who is shy, who has no idea how to approach people without having to show them that he excels in something. And he can’t do it there at Raimon, because everyone seems to be better than him in everything they do during classes.

The last friends he had in Kyoto were those with whom he carried the items of a cloth merchant; they competed to see who arrived first at the destination and, obviously, he was always the first, because of his power, and always ended laughing at the others, once they arrived all together and exhausted.

Beyond stupid races and competitions? Munemasa doesn’t think he has ever spent time with anyone for pure pleasure, other than his mother. Pathetic, probably, but when he is faced with strangers his instinct almost tells him to run away.

“We weren’t... very welcoming?” Shindou says, his face painted with surprise.

Master Gouenji shrugs. “Exactly, Shindou. It never happened before.”

“This is because no one was like Ibuki Munemasa! Master Gouenji, he doesn’t–”

“No, Shindou,” Master Gouenji cuts him off, with his usual paternal and kind gaze.

Munemasa blushes. What does Shindou think about him? What was he going to say?

“These are just prejudices, because you don’t really know Ibuki. I would like you to tell me about something you have done together at dinner, tomorrow night,” Master Gouenji explains, with a sympathetic but firm look.

Munemasa has nothing to say. Shindou frowns, but he seems to prefer not to argue with their Master’s words anymore.

Second day. Finding the elements.

Munemasa woke up early. He had breakfast with Master Gouenji, who wished him a good day.

Shindou apparently woke up first. Munemasa has no idea what he did so early in the morning.

Master Gouenji teaches them the discipline and this reflects in the timing of the day, too. Therefore, it is for this reason that Munemasa wonders how it is possible to wake up even earlier.

However, Master Gouenji does not give to him any hint about his pupil and leaves him in the canteen without adding anything else.

Munemasa sighs. He puts away the utensils he used to eat and tries to think about what to do.

Should he spend all day controlling his power among the cherry trees? Should he lay down on the grass while staring at the white clouds passing by in the blue sky? Or should he rather look for Shindou?

If there is one thing Munemasa feels inside, it is that he cannot disappoint Master Gouenji, the only person who believes in him. Because it is true, Munemasa is committed in all he does, he is stubborn and does not ask for help from anyone, but Master Gouenji is giving him that trust that he was never given by anyone before.

So, he sighs and leaves the canteen, deciding to go to the reading room. Almost certainly, Shindou is there, to study in deep something that Master Gouenji taught them during the last lessons.

When he arrives in the large room where they usually go to study, Munemasa sees the slender figure of Shindou behind a lectern, as he browses through the large pages of a manuscript.

“Good morning, Ibuki Munemasa,” Shindou greets him, without taking his eyes off the sheets of paper and without a minimum of enthusiasm, as if Munemasa were an annoying fly.

He runs a hand through his perpetually unkempt white hair and remains silent. How should he act in front of Shindou?

“Good morning, Shindou,” he finally says in a fake firm tone. “I knew I’d found you here.”

Shindou looks up towards him so imperceptibly that Munemasa wonders if he hasn’t imagined it.

“I never find you in here, indeed,” Shindou says then, continuing to read who knows what. “Don’t you like studying?”

Munemasa clenches his fists alongside his hips. “You know very well that’s not the case,” he replies, trying to control the anger in his voice.

“Oh. Isn’t it?” Shindou goes on blatantly provoking him and Munemasa has to hold back the urge of literally flying him out of the window. “Yet you have been here just for a few months, you give excellent results and you feel as if you are the best. But you are not and I hope you know this, Ibuki.”

Munemasa feels his cheeks turning red. He knows very well that the best is Shindou, there is no need for anyone to remind him, thank you very much. Yet he knows he could improve. He has been there for a little amount of time, compared to the others. He has difficulty integrating and perhaps this is what makes him weak, too, because he is unable to confront those who could help him.

“Test me, then,” he replies, without thinking too much.

Shindou looks at him questioningly.

“Yeah, test me and let’s see if I’m not capable of doing anything. And if you’re as good as everyone says, Shindou Takuto,” he adds, deliberately treading on the boy’s name in a defiant tone.

Shindou sighs and finally his brows relax. His lips almost curl into a smile. He seems amused.

“Do you know what alchemy is?” He asks.

Munemasa honestly shakes his head.

“Well, don’t worry, Master Gouenji has never taught anything about this subject,” Shindou almost reassures him.

Munemasa is bewildered by Shindou’s kind attitude towards him, because he never acted like this. Well, he never acted at all, when it came to Munemasa. The only thing Shindou always does when he sees him is: frowning.

“It is… a kind of science, based on natural philosophy, but clearly science alone is not enough, because it applies with magic. The most important studies have been done in Europe, India and China, at the moment.”

“So what?” Munemasa asks curiously. He wants to know what the point of this speech is.

“Here in Japan no one has ever dedicated his studies to alchemy, but obviously the manuscripts we take as authentic are the Chinese ones,” Shindou explains and he has not yet abandoned the book on the lectern. “This one, for example, is the translation of a Chinese manuscript and I found something interesting in it.”

Munemasa swallows when the other boy invites him to come closer.

The real reason why Munemasa goes to the reading room when he knows there is no one is he has recently learned how to read and write. Before arriving at Raimon, he was capable of the essential. Master Gouenji gave him exercises to do alone, to improve. And he has really improved, but he’s still too slow to keep up with Shindou.

However, Munemasa approaches him.

The boy’s profile looks much more angelic than he appears face to face, with the sinuous shape of the upturned nose and his delicate and not very plump lips. The brown curls fall softly on his cheeks, which look so soft–

Munemasa scolds himself internally for the thoughts flowing in his mind.

“See here, yesterday I found these indications,” Shindou asks for his attention, with his finger resting on the page.

“What is it about?” Munemasa asks, waking himself from his thoughts.

Shindou turns to him with a frown, surprised by that question.

In fact, the writing is large enough for Munemasa to read easily from where he is. Therefore, slowly, he manages to understand the title, which reads Union of intentions.

Shindou sighs. Without asking Munemasa any questions about his hesitation in reading, he begins to read aloud.

“Union of intentions is not a real alchemical formula, but the goal that we must achieve with this work: the individual power of each of us is unique in the world; we can have it similar, but never totally the same as that of another person. It is however a limited power, because it allows us to do more than with pure magic, but less than with magical formulas and items. To have total control over individual power and become truly powerful, you need years and years of experience, practice and reflection in a complete hermitage.

“However, there is another solution. When two people want to improve their individual power, it is possible to combine their own with that of the other in the Xiangsheng inter-promotion phase, for which the spring period is preferable. Spring and this phase are in fact united by the meaning of regeneration and creation, growth and vitality.

“However, uniting two people’s powers requires attention to all five fundamental elements and phases: wood, associated with spring, for vitality; fire, associated with summer, for energy; the earth, as an intermediate phase of stabilization; metal, associated with autumn, for recollection; water, associated with winter, for conservation.

“These elements need combining through magic. After having any touching point between the two bodies, in the time of a few seconds, the individual powers will come together to become one. 

“Sounds interesting, right?”

Shindou’s eyes sparkle. Munemasa is convinced that he has never seen that boy so excited.

“Yeah, it sounds indeed interesting, but what does it mean? What would you like to do?”

Munemasa is confused. He doesn’t understand why Shindou has chosen that reading to share with him and, above all, all those complicated words crowd into his mind like locusts.

“We could try,” Shindou suggests, finally leaving the manuscript and turning totally to him.

Munemasa still doesn’t understand. “Try what?”

“To combine our powers!”

Shindou seems totally convinced of what he is saying, but Munemasa can only blush and shake.

“Think about it, I have the power of aeroportation, I can use the wind to transport objects, people, but also myself. With the force of your thoughts, you can levitate people and objects, but not yourself. If we combine our powers, we could… fly! Think about it! It would be great.”

Munemasa is convinced that the person in front of him is not the real and perfect Shindou Takuto anymore. “You are joking, aren’t you?”

Shindou looks at him defiantly. “Absolutely not. Didn’t you want to show me what you are capable of?”

“Yes, but would it be safe to do such a thing? What if–”

“Oh, Ibuki, come on! I thought you were braver.”

Shindou is clearly provoking him. A part of Munemasa would like to resist. But the other part—the largest, if he has to be honest—is too full of pride to back down. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to give Shindou any kind of satisfaction. He has no idea what is really going on in that guy’s mind, but his heart tells him to say yes.

“Alright, then. Let’s do it.”

Shindou seems surprised by his statement. “Very well. So, I make a list of what we need, and then we divide the tasks.”

“Don’t you think we should talk to Master Gouenji first?”

Shindou looks at him as if he said the funniest joke in the world and bursts out laughing. “What makes you think that he would approve?”

Munemasa really cannot stand him.

At lunch, Master Gouenji does not show up. He wrote them that he was going to look for some materials at a nearby town market and left two bowls full of vegetables for Munemasa and Shindou.

Munemasa doesn’t even know where his schoolmate is. He eats alone his portion of food and, with the note written by Shindou in his hand, he thinks about the next steps he has to take.

He has to go near the creek to retrieve a handful of soil that can be found near a certain type of berry bush, which Shindou sketched for him, so that he can recognize it. He said that type soil is the best one to use when it comes to magic. Then he has to look for a piece of oak bark.

Munemasa sighs. He has to go onto the mountain by himself and he doesn’t like it very much. It is also true that, for work, he has often carried out heavier missions than this.

He puts his bowl aside, goes to retrieve his bag and leaves for his task.

He would almost like to slap himself when he realizes he is doing all of this only for Shindou Takuto.

Munemasa was almost lost in the nature but, by levitating a log on which he straddled, he found his way home without any difficulty.

For the first time in his life, he enjoyed it. It hurts him to admit it, because he only did what Shindou wrote on a sheet of paper—by the way, Shindou writes very well and he had no problem with the reading part—and, above all, because he was alone and had fun regardless of this. But, somehow, having a common goal with another person, a partner in crime, made him feel less lonely. It allowed him to make his day meaningful. And perhaps, the days he has lived up until now have not made much sense.

When he gets back to Raimon, the sun is almost setting. On the patio, Master Gouenji has his eyes closed and his arms crossed, leaning against a wooden column, wearing a kimono with a floral pattern and with his long blond hair left loose, blowing along with the wind. He seems to be enjoying the spring atmosphere, the days that get longer, the silence that reigns during that period of study break.

“Ibuki, finally you are back.”

Master Gouenji opens his eyes and smiles at him.

Munemasa blushes and remembers that what he is doing with Shindou is a secret; so he nods and almost runs off to the dorm to leave his bag in his closet.

Immediately after getting rid of the evidence of his guilt—because he is sure that Master Gouenji would not agree at all, if he knew what they plan to do—he jogs nervously towards the canteen. He is a little bit anxious, he has to admit it.

In the canteen, there are Shindou and Master Gouenji preparing everything for dinner.

They are arranging a bowl full of rice for each of them, when Master Gouenji sees him coming and looks up. “Ibuki, are you alright? You ran away, before.”

Munemasa blushes again. “Yeah… yeah, sure,” he replies shyly. “I’m just tired, I walked a lot today.”

Shindou smiles, without looking up at him. It is a sweet smile, different from usual. Usually, he seems completely indifferent to Munemasa. The truth is, thinking well about it, he can’t tell if Shindou is sweet or just amused by his uncertainty.

"Didn’t I recommend you two to spend some time together?”

Master Gouenji looks at Shindou with an inquisitive look. For the first time since living there, Munemasa sees the boy flinch.

“Well, we spent some time together, actually. This morning,” Shindou says, trying not to show his insecurity.

But Munemasa noticed it and, if he did, Master Gouenji must have noticed it, too.

He says nothing about the secretive way they are acting, quite the opposite. He smiles and looks at them. “So, what have you done that you can’t tell me? Do you two already have a secret you can’t share with anyone?”

His tone of voice is amused, as if he meant...

No, Munemasa shakes his head at himself. It cannot be that Master Gouenji believes there is any closeness between him and Shindou.

For his part, the other boy is completely red in the face. This is the only thing that makes Munemasa quite satisfied with himself; for once, he is better than Shindou in doing something. Even if this would mean that he actually represses his emotions.

Master Gouenji chuckles and begins to talk about his dear friend Kidou Yuuto, who managed to get him some medicinal herbs to experiment with new treatments. He never returns to that subject.

Munemasa and Shindou helped Master Gouenji clean up the canteen after dinner, although he said they are relieved of every duty because, even though they have not left, it is a break for them too and they need to rest.

Munemasa has never looked at Shindou, however, and he believes his behaviour has been totally reciprocated, after Master Gouenji’s insinuation.

He feels completely confused. He has never had feelings for anyone, how could he think of approaching Shindou, who he knows so little about?

Of course, Munemasa is convinced that he has never seen anyone as handsome and intelligent as that pretentious boy. Sometimes he finds himself thinking about him, he has to admit it. All of this is so new to him that, as they both walk towards the dorm, without exchanging a word, his hands are shaking. He squeezes them into a fist, trying to contain his agitation, because he definitely cannot be weak. Not with Shindou Takuto, who would probably use all of his weaknesses to stab him in the back.

When they are both in the dorm, Munemasa realizes how strange it is that there are only the two of them. The night before he went to sleep long before Shindou did and he didn’t pay much attention to it, but now it seems as if all that space is too big for the two of them only.

Their beds are close and now that they are alone it seems a problem to Munemasa. Yet, he fell asleep every night in that same bed without thinking much about it.

“Did you find what I asked for?”

Shindou’s words wake him from his thoughts.

Munemasa nods, takes the bag from the closet and shows him the piece of oak bark and a handful of soil he has collected where his fellow student pointed out.

“What about you?”

Shindou shrugs and, in turn, takes out a bottle of water and a bottle of mercury from a pocket of his kimono, even though Munemasa has no idea where they come from.

“So, what’s missing?”

Shindou sighs and puts the bottles back in Munemasa’s bag without even asking for his permission.

“There is no fire. For this, we need two flints that we will surely find in Master Gouenji’s repository, since we have already used it during some classes.”

Munemasa nods, even though he’s really confused. Actually, it seems as if confused is the only thing he can be, when he is with Shindou Takuto. Not having access to the sources of the manuscripts makes him totally dependent on that boy, who, as far as he knows, may be planning to kill him and conceal his corpse.

“Tomorrow morning, we will wake up earlier than usual. I have copied the useful elements on a sheet of paper. We will have to create a circle, obviously magically controlled, in which these elements can be combined together,” Shindou explains to him, as if he sensed his confusion. “I know it seems impossible, but with a formula found in the manuscript, these mixed elements should form kind of a luminous shield, within which we will have to put ourselves in a position of meditation, making the tips of our left index fingers come into contact.”

“Meditation?”

It seems strange to Munemasa that meditation is enough to do all of this. What should he do, close his eyes and think about Shindou?

Shindou frowns. “Sure. Meditation will allow us to manipulate the three treasures of our bodies. The Jing, or our life essence. The Qi, or our life energy. The Shen, or our mind. We must focus our meditation on the transfer of what is inside of our body to the other one’s body.”

Munemasa tilts her head to the side. “It sounds… interesting,” he concludes, giving his opinion for the first time.

Shindou looks surprised, but doesn’t add anything else. And of course, Munemasa doesn’t think he has anything else to add, too.

“Good night, Ibuki.”

Shindou looks at him one last time and gives him his back.

Munemasa decides to look away too, because he knows that Shindou loves to change before bed and doesn’t have the slightest desire to see more skin than he should.

Third day. Transfer your energy, transfer yourself.

When Munemasa wakes, the lilac shade of the lazy rays of sunshine are colouring the dormitory. It’s dawn and it’s early, but he can’t sleep anymore. He is too nervous to relax.

His leg seems to have took his own life, trembling on the bed.

Maybe he has to get up and move, so he can release the tension inside his body. So, he does and walks towards the window. The sky is that dull cobalt blue, with the pink lights colouring the few clouds passing above him.

Munemasa didn’t wake up this early for a long time and almost forgot how beautiful can be this mix of pastel colours reflecting on the buildings walls of Kyoto. He doesn’t miss it, though. He likes what he sees: Master Gouenji’s garden, full of cherry blossom trees, and Mount Ikeda in the background.

Suddenly, he hears a rustle that makes him turn around.

Shindou appears to be waking up. His eyes are half closed and he is reaching out his arms to stretch his muscles.

For the umpteenth time, Munemasa thinks Shindou Takuto can look cute. For once, he is alone, hidden by the shadows, and he doesn’t feel the need to blame himself for these thoughts. He simply accepts them.

Shindou was able to change his point of view in just one day. He doesn’t know if this will only last for the Hanami, but he wants to enjoy it fully.

“Ibuki,” he hears Shindou calling him, in a hoarse voice. “Are you already awake?”

Munemasa approaches him, despite Shindou’s bare arms embarrassing him tremendously. He would like to understand why that boy likes to sleep in his petticoat, showing all that portion of skin. He sighs.

“Yeah,” he replies, biting his lower lip. “You can sleep if you want. It’s early.”

Shindou shakes his head and opens his big brown eyes. “It’s the perfect time to look for the two stones to light the fire, as Master Gouenji is asleep.”

Munemasa shrugs. “As you like. But get dressed.”

Shindou chuckles, suddenly getting up and making Munemasa blush from head to toe.

He turns and no longer dares to look at him, until Shindou confirms that he is ready for the day.

Shindou ties his wavy hair into a messy ponytail and gestures for Munemasa to follow him, as he sneaks out of the dorm.

“Are you sure Master Gouenji is sleeping?” Munemasa asks in a whisper.

Shindou nods. “Master Gouenji is very strict in following his habits. He kind of embodies a sundial.”

Munemasa smiles at Shindou’s joke and hopes with all his heart that he is right.

They walk with a soft step through the corridors; Munemasa has never gone to Master Gouenji’s repository and has no idea where Shindou is taking him, but he trusts him and doesn’t even know why.

When they arrive in front of a door, Shindou recites a strange sentence in a low voice; the door opens and Munemasa finds himself in front of a large room full of what looks like junk but, actually, they all are items which are useful for magic lessons.

“I hope you know where to look,” Munemasa snaps, looking at the ceiling-high shelves and huge wooden trunks.

Shindou waves his hand to express his indifference towards his worries and walks without hesitation into the repository.

“Stay by the door.”

Munemasa does as he’s told, although he would be curious to wander around that room and see what it hides.

Shindou seems perfectly comfortable in that place. Without looking too much around, he walks decisively to a shelf on which there is a casket. He takes it in his delicate hands and Munemasa sees a red glow from afar. Shindou takes two tiny flints and puts the casket back in his place. From the pocket of his kimono, he takes out a small bag in which to put the two flints.

Shindou smiles at Munemasa and returns to him, then they close the door behind them as quietly as possible.

“Now what shall we do? It took you two seconds. We can’t go out now, if Master Gouenji doesn’t see both of us at breakfast he will get suspicious.”

“What are you afraid of?” Shindou asks him. “Are you afraid that he may think we went out together on a date to see the sunrise?”

Munemasa blushes conspicuously, he cannot hide it in any way. But then, he realizes that he too can take the knife from the handle.

“It didn’t seem to me that when Master Gouenji made that insinuation yesterday you took it well,” he replies. “You were bursting with shame.”

At that point, it is Shindou’s turn to blush. The boy takes his brown gaze away from Munemasa’s face and a rebellious lock of wavy hair rests on his cheek.

Munemasa shouldn’t be looking at Shindou like that, but he almost has to suppress the urge to brush that lock of hair behind his ear.

“Let’s rest for a while, then. I’m not going to continue this conversation.”

For once, Munemasa laughs and Shindou looks in total confusion, even though he tries not to show it.

From resting a little, they went to sleep almost for another hour. Munemasa didn’t even realize he fell asleep, Shindou simply—strangely, if you ask him—was telling him how Master Gouenji welcomed so many people and gave them so much and Munemasa relaxed until he closed his eyes.

When he wakes, Shindou is lying on his bed facing him, but with his eyes closed. Munemasa decides it’s time to call him. Therefore, he slowly approaches the boy with a trembling hand, too insecure, then shakes his arm slightly. Shindou is so tiny in comparison to him that he can almost snug his arm with his fingers.

“Shindou,” he murmurs and, in his head, there are only thoughts about how much that boy looks like an angel.

He would really like to slap himself and would like to understand when he has become so sappy to the point of looking, admiring and thinking about the same person all the time. Because it has never happened to him with anyone.

Shindou opens his eyes slowly, lazily, like when they woke up the first time that morning, when outside it was still dawn.

Shindou stands up abruptly, sitting up. “Oh. Is it too late?”

Munemasa shakes his head. “Don’t worry, we didn’t sleep that much. I heard Master Gouenji opening all the windows a little while ago and I woke up. The sun is still low in the sky.”

Shindou nods to all that heap of information. “Let’s go have breakfast.”

“Shall we already carry the bag with the necessary items, now?”

“No,” Shindou replies. “It would be best not to make Master Gouenji suspicious about anything other than a relationship between us.”

Munemasa tries to ignore his racing heartbeat just hearing about that unlikely relationship.

He gets up too and, without saying anything else, they head towards the canteen, where Master Gouenji is whistling, while preparing a tray of cookies.

“Oh, let’s all finally have breakfast,” he says, seeing them arrive.

“Good morning, Master Gouenji,” Shindou greets him, smiling widely.

Munemasa smiles too, without saying anything.

Master Gouenji doesn’t seem to care, however, as he is glad to see both of them; he gestures to sit next to him, closer than usual, and starts having breakfast.

Munemasa and Shindou follow the invitation and Munemasa is happy to see that his favourite cookies are on the tray. Sometimes he wonders how it is possible that Master Gouenji has enough time to do everything and without using magic.

“So? What do you have planned for today?” Master Gouenji asks them, biting into the cookies made by himself.

Munemasa sinks into a religious silence for fear of saying words he should not.

“We thought of walking and admiring Sakura in your garden, Master Gouenji,” Shindou replies for both of them. “After all, it’s Hanami time and a little meditation can’t hurt us.”

After all, he didn’t completely lie, given that meditation is part of what they will have to do.

“Not a bad idea,” Master Gouenji comments, looking at them with pride. “I’ll have to go back to my friend to talk about those medicinal herbs. Of course I’ll be here for dinner, but don’t get in trouble while I’m away.”

“Why should we?” Shindou asks, with a fake and angelic smile.

That little shit. Munemasa has to hold back a laugh.

After helping Master Gouenji to clean up the canteen, after greeting him and after taking the bag with the useful items for the ritual, Munemasa and Shindou go to the garden, intoxicated by the scent of cherry blossoms.

Munemasa has already spent some time there meditating, while for Shindou it seems like the first time. He doesn’t seem comfortable in front of that spectacle of nature.

“Are you okay?” Munemasa asks him, looking down. He doesn’t want to seem too interested.

Shindou shrugs. “Shall we sit there, among those four cherry trees? It seems there is enough space,” he proposes, ignoring Munemasa’s question.

He sighs and says nothing; he certainly cannot expect them to become close friends at any moment. “Okay,” he just replies.

Shindou sits down on the lawn, spotted here and there with pink petals. Munemasa sits in front of him and hands him the bag with the elements.

“Do we have to recite some spells?”

Shindou shakes his head. “No, we simply have to close our eyes, rotate our arms and firmly think about the five elements becoming one.”

Munemasa sighs as he watches Shindou place the elements between them, side by side.

“The elements must be close without touching. The flame that will appear thanks to the flints will have limited energy, so there is no danger of setting everything on fire. But we must be as quick as possible in unifying the elements.”

“Could you let me see the moves that... what should we do?” Munemasa asks, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

Shindou smiles at him, unperturbed. Perhaps, Munemasa was expecting a cold response, but the boy in front of him lets his hair down, starts swaying to the right and then to the left with his chest, while his arms move virtuously, as if he were dancing.

Munemasa does not know if he would be able to move so elegantly, he would probably destroy the circle in two seconds, but Shindou finally seems at ease, calm and relaxed and Munemasa cannot help but trust him.

It’s the turn of the flints. Shindou rubs them together and they immediately create a small flame, which seems to keep burning in mid-air.

True, Munemasa has powers, but sometimes he is enchanted by what magic can do.

“Now, Ibuki,” Shindou urges him, starting to raise his arms.

Munemasa imitates him.

They close their eyes and start moving slowly. Munemasa thinks about Shindou’s dance one last time—how beautiful Shindou was as he moved so harmoniously—and then he lets go of all his thoughts. He focuses on the union of the elements, on their common goal, imagining the glowing shield that should appear around them.

“Open your eyes,” Shindou murmurs. “Keep your arms up.”

Munemasa does as he’s told. He slowly opens his eyes and a golden light surrounds them. He feels like he is in a bubble, where there are only him and Shindou. And he can’t help but think about how the golden light reflects heavenly on the other boy’s pale skin.

“Now the meditation begins. The right hand resting on the knee, the left hand towards me,” Shindou continues to explain in a calm tone. Munemasa’s body loosens almost by osmosis. “Point your left index finger at me. The tip of your finger will meet the tip of mine. After that, we’ll close our eyes. You’ll have to think about your power and me, remember.”

Munemasa inhales deeply, stretches his arm forward and brushes the tip of his forefinger with that of Shindou’s. They close their eyes almost at the same time; then Munemasa sinks into his thoughts.

The union of intentions. He must unite his intentions with Shindou’s. He has to give a part of himself to Shindou.

Munemasa feels the energy bursting into him and flowing towards his arm, then concentrating on his index finger. He feels something enter his body, shaking him. It is probably Shindou’s power that becomes his too.

His body trembles as he gathers a too powerful energy within himself, more powerful than what he is used to when he focuses on his power only; yet he accepts it, he lets it flow, because he is not weak. He is not weak and he wants to prove it to Shindou.

Their fingers stay together despite the trembling of both. Munemasa hears Shindou almost grumble in pain—perhaps it’s harder for him because he is so tiny compared to Munemasa.

At some point, the energy seems to stabilize. Munemasa opens his eyes, even though he is afraid he shouldn’t. But then, he meets Shindou’s excited gaze, certainly the mirror of his.

“Looks... Looks like we made it,” Shindou whispers, his eyes almost shining with emotion.

Munemasa is surprised by his reaction, but he feels a knot in his stomach, too. He has no idea what it is.

They look at each other one last time and are about to separate their fingers when they both hear a sound. A kind of broken glass sound, but more melodious.

Munemasa lifts his chin and sees what is descending towards them, after crossing the shield.

A cherry blossom.

It did not interrupt the ritual. It just got in the way at the end, by the time they have already combined their powers. It is a wonderful, poetic scene. Munemasa could not describe it in other terms. He cannot take his eyes off that little pink flower that comes down towards them, light as a feather.

Maybe there is something wrong with this. Basically, it is an alchemical ritual and in alchemy everything has its meaning, from what Munemasa understood.

The flower lands where their fingers meet.

Munemasa observes the flower. Maybe his mouth is a little open in surprise, because everything that is going on is so weird for him.

However, suddenly, a strange agitation takes hold of him. It doesn’t come from within himself, he is not nervous, yet he feels a pang in his stomach, as if he were afraid of something. But what? And then, to his confusion is added another confusion, which does not seem to come from him, exactly like the fear of a moment ago.

Munemasa looks at Shindou. The boy is trembling, with his eyes wide open.

“We have to... we have to let go,” Shindou says, pulling his finger away from Munemasa’s.

He backs up in turn. Slowly, the shield begins to fade around them, revealing again Master Gouenji’s garden.

Nervousness and fear do not leave him. Yet he does not feel afraid, he is not shaking like Shindou. He just wants to understand what is going on.

Shindou looks fragile. Munemasa would like to hug him and he feels almost overwhelmed by the affection he feels for him. Affection. But he has never felt affection for anyone except his mother, he doesn’t know well how it works. Yet he feels like something is carrying him towards the boy.

“Maybe it’s better if–”

Shindou doesn’t even finish speaking. He runs away from there, leaving Munemasa alone.

The five elements, which were between the two of them, have disappeared.

Munemasa takes the bag with him and starts walking among the cherry trees.

Perhaps, he needs the Hanami, to contemplate, to meditate. Yet the terror he feels within himself seems to be unable to go away.

He would like so much to try to use his new power combined with Shindou’s, however, in addition to all the energy that is moving his insides, he feels a weight inside himself, too difficult to carry alone.

He just wonders what it could be. This terror and this uncontrollable desire to be close to Shindou.

But he decides that maybe he should give him the time he needs, since he seemed totally shattered. Therefore, he doesn’t look for him.

He observes the cherry blossoms, trying not to think about anything.

Munemasa has not met Shindou, yet. He left the bag in his closet and went to the canteen, preparing dinner by himself while waiting for Master Gouenji to come back.

The bad sensations in his stomach don’t leave him. He feels exhausted by them, but he can’t do anything at all. He tried everything: Hanami, meditation, chilling on the bed.

Nothing.

The knot is there. He feels nervousness without being nervous and he is becoming crazy because of all of this.

Is this a side effect of their power binding together? Is this him trying to digest some bad food?

He doesn’t know. And maybe he would know, if only Shindou pleased him with his presence.

But Munemasa spent all his life alone. Therefore, it’s not a problem waiting for the boy, even though the urge to have him near his body is unbearable.

It’s weird. Because yes, during these two days he came to terms with liking Shindou—it is even noxious to deny it, for his mental stability—but this urge is not normal. Not that he has a problem with it. Munemasa doesn’t care about anything, he is spontaneous and individualist. He doesn’t fear judgement from anyone who isn’t named Shindou Takuto or Gouenji Shuuya. Nevertheless, he knows the urge is coming because of something else.

“Ibuki,” he hears a voice calling him. “You’re so kind to make dinner for us.”

Master Gouenji is there. His red cap is covered in dirt because of the travel and he looks tired, but he is smiling at his student.

“Good evening, Master Gouenji,” Munemasa greets him. “I hope this is good. Cooking is not my best talent.”

Master Gouenji chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’m so hungry I’d eat even a stone.”

Munemasa bursts out laughing and tries to focus on the boiled rice.

“Where’s Shindou?”

Munemasa sighs. “I… I don’t know.”

Obviously, Master Gouenji is asking for his favourite student. Munemasa would like where he is too.

“How come you don’t know?” Master Gouenji questions him. “Did you fight or–”

“No!” Munemasa cuts him off, maybe too fast. “Sorry, but… no. I don’t know, we were together, then he looked odd, maybe sick, and I didn’t want to intrude, so I didn’t look for him.”

“Um,” Master Gouenji murmurs. “I hope he comes back, I’m worried.”

“Me too,” Munemasa admits.

“He’s very anxious. But you don’t have to feel guilty, he wants to manage his anxiety alone every time. You did well, by not following him.”

Munemasa is grateful for Master Gouenj’s words. He worries for hours and all these weird feelings are exhausting. He needs to sleep. At the same time, he knows he cannot sleep if he doesn’t speak with Shindou.

Master Gouenji must notice his worried expression and tilts his head to look better at Munemasa’s lowed gaze. “I see, maybe it’s hours that Shindou is away, isn’t it? Why don’t you go looking for him? Bringing him a bowl of rice? I don’t want to intrude, perhaps you know what happened.”

Munemasa’s cheeks become red like mature apples. But he can’t deny that he appreciates Master Gouenji’s proposal, so he has an excuse to find Shindou and finally talk to him. “Isn’t it a problem if I–”

“Go,” Master Gouenji repeats. “I’m old enough to have dinner alone without feeling sad.”

Munemasa chuckles, then he takes his bowl and the other one he had prepared for Shindou. He doesn’t know exactly where Shindou is, but he has an idea. He knows him, somehow.

So, he walks—trembling a bit, but he’s trying to stop it because he has a dignity, thank you very much—slowly towards the reading room. He knows Shindou is there. Maybe trying to find something about what happened on the manuscripts, panicking about the strange feeling Munemasa has too.

Munemasa doesn’t even know where his anxiety ends and where the panic—not his—that he feels inside his stomach begins.

When he enters the room, dark and cold, he sees a little candle on the floor and Shindou sitting there, surrounded by manuscripts and with a hand in his messy brown hair.

“Shindou…” Munemasa says and he is worried. He feels the panic in his stomach becoming stronger when he approaches the other boy. And he feels the urge of touching him, caressing him or hugging him.

It is indeed strange and he really needs to sleep. Maybe this stupid urge would go away.

“We made a mess,” Shindou says in a panicked tone. “We made a mess, our ritual was disturbed and–”

“Breathe,” Munemasa cuts him off, leaving the bowls on the floor, sitting next to Shindou and touching his shoulder. As always, he is startled by the way Shindou’s body is so small near his. Munemasa could wreck Shindou’s shoulder just squeezing it harder with his hand. “Have you found something?”

“I haven’t,” Shindou replies, hiding his face with the palms of his hands. “I know that a stranger body can’t interrupt the ritual or it comes disturbed, but I don’t know what happened. And something happened, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Munemasa whispers. “If I can say… I don’t… Maybe it sounds stupid, but it’s like I feel your panic in my stomach.”

Shindou narrows his eyes. “You,” then he tries to say, with his eyes open wide. “I shouldn’t have left back then. You are a genius, Ibuki Munemasa.”

Munemasa tilts his head. “What the hell are you saying, Shindou?”

“You’re basically telling me that the confusion mixed with relaxation that I feel in my head without really feeling it is your emotion. You’re relaxed and confused at the same time.”

“Yeah, of course I’m confused, you ran away!” Munemasa exclaims. “And I’m relaxed because we are in fact alive, don’t you think you can breathe this panic out of your ridiculously small body without worrying me to death?”

In all probability, he never spoke like this during all the rest of his life. He should be shocked, yet he is not. Shindou is showing him that he can be himself without being judged. Because Shindou told him he is a genius after all the doubts he had. Shindou is trusting him. And Munemasa finally feels appreciated, in some way.

 “Wow,” Shindou whispers.

Munemasa feels the panic slowly disappear from his stomach and from the boy’s face. Shindou bursts out laughing and, in a fit of fun, leans on Munemasa’s shoulder and they hug.

It is weird, Shindou’s little arms are weak around Munemasa’s shoulder, while he touches Shindou’s arms with the tips of his fingers, as if Shindou were made of glass.

Something like peace seems to appear between them. Munemasa feels a sudden flicker of affection and Shindou must notice, because he slowly moves away with his cheeks painted of red.

“Sorry, I–” Shindou tries to say, and Munemasa feels like blushing because of him.

“You are sorry for what?” Munemasa asks, frowning.

Shindou clears his throat. “Your words, they were… nice. I appreciate your company, Munem– Ibuki,” he corrects himself.

Munemasa chuckles. “You can call me Munemasa, if you like it. You’d be the first, except for my parents, of course.”

“You are so weird, Ibuki Munemasa.”

“So are you,” Munemasa replies, with a smile.

“I’m serious,” Shindou scolds him. “You seem… lonely and shy and narcissistic, yet if someone gives you a hand you are so… loyal. And attentive.”

“So, I’m attentive now,” Munemasa makes fun of him. “Don’t get your hopes up, I cooked for you because if someone can find a solution, that is you. I can’t risk seeing you dying in my arms.”

Shindou pushes him gently, with a chuckle. Then, he takes a bowl of rice. “Thank you, Munemasa. And you can call me Takuto, if you want.”

Munemasa thinks he likes the name Takuto very much. Maybe the boy knows it, since they can feel each other’s emotions. However, he doesn’t really care anymore.

Fourth day. The loyal princess.

When Munemasa wakes, Takuto is not in the dorm.

When Munemasa goes to take his breakfast, Takuto is not in the canteen.

(He lets himself think of that boy with his given name. At the end of the day, there is no reason why he should deny that he doesn’t feel a form of attachment.)

Master Gouenji is pretty curious about what the hell they are doing, though. Munemasa hates Takuto because he is not very good at telling lies, that’s why he shouldn’t leave Munemasa alone. Particularly when he has to tell lies to Master Gouenji, who seems to know how to read minds.

The funniest part of it all is that he really doesn’t know what is happening. He didn’t even know what alchemy was until three days ago, for fuck’s sake.

“Takut– Shindou, he’s doing some research,” he explains to Master Gouenji, while he eats cookies as fast as he can, so he can go away.

“Oh, so you are now on a given name basis,” Master Gouenji notices and he seems to appreciate how their relationship has improved.

Munemasa tries to hide his embarrassment so that his face is almost drowned in the milk bowl.

Master Gouenji chuckles. “I don’t want to intrude. But remember, if you need advice, you know where to go,” he says tenderly. “In ten days, Shindou will have his friends back. You have him now, but if he does something you don’t like, you can come to me. Okay?”

Munemasa nods. He is so grateful he has Master Gouenji. He is like the father he never had.

“I’m going to find him. Again.”

Master Gouenji smiles. “Today, I’ll be here. We’ll see at lunch.”

Munemasa finds Takuto in the reading room, in the same exact position he found him the evening before.

He slowly approaches him, smiling. “Takuto,” Munemasa says. “Did you have breakfast?”

Takuto grunts, but there is a pink shadow on his cheekbones. Maybe because it is the first time Munemasa calls him with his given name, maybe because he is embarrassed by the way Munemasa worries about him.

“I didn’t,” Takuto admits. “And I should have, because coming here early was totally useless!”

He seems to be wrecked, Munemasa feels his agitation flowing through his own veins. He sighs and hugs him again, because it looks like the best thing to do right now.

It is.

Their embrace is soothing, soft and warm and Munemasa can’t have enough of it. Takuto leans on him as if he were a lost kitten who needs a shelter.

Munemasa likes to be Takuto’s shelter. A lot.

It feels like being important. It feels like loving… Perhaps not loving in that great and epic sense, but loving in the sense of caring and nurturing.

It feels like home.

“I like it, too,” Takuto whispers and Munemasa suddenly realises that they know which emotion the other one is feeling.

“Takuto, you should relax. And we should really, really talk to Master Gouenji. I don’t want to see you getting mad anymore. Not because you can’t be, obviously you can if something upsets you, but… I worry.”

“Are you sure the only side effect of the ritual is the power of feeling each other’s emotion?” Takuto asks and Munemasa frowns. “Because you’re not the Ibuki Munemasa I know, you good?”

Munemasa pushes him jokingly and chuckles. “Okay, then you can die of madness, I don’t care.”

“It’s not true,” Takuto comments. “You like me too much.”

Munemasa doesn’t deny it.

Master Gouenji is looking at them with a suspicious look.

They came early to the canteen and he is still cooking.

Takuto is nervous. Munemasa can feel it in his bones, but he can see it in his eyes, too. Because he can’t take his eyes off of Takuto.

Perhaps it could be because of them bonding through the ritual. Not because of him having a crush.

“So, you can tell me what happened. I see it in your eyes, Shindou. Ibuki, are you worried, too?”

Munemasa shakes his head. “No, Master Gouenji. I have the feeling, since the beginning, that you have the answer to our problem.”

“And Shindou? Don’t you trust my judgement?”

Takuto flushes blatantly. “I do!” He nearly shouts. “I… I do. But I think I did something very wrong, it’s all my fault–”

“We both did it, Taku– Shindou,” Munemasa cuts him off, correcting himself, because he feels like being formal in front of Master Gouenji. “It’s not your fault.”

“I convinced you, playing with your sense of pride,” Takuto goes on with his stream of consciousness. “I’m… horrific. Seriously, Master Gouenji, you should punish me!”

“Well, I’d like to know what happened, first,” Master Gouenji says calmly and, weirdly enough, smiling. He gives them two bowls of boiled vegetables and makes sign to sit and eat all together.

They do, slowly. Takuto seems too worried to function at a normal speed.

Munemasa inhales and decides that someone should initiate something. And that someone should be him. With his usual impassibility. “We did something we shouldn’t have done and it’s true it was Shindou’s idea. Nevertheless, I accepted because I wanted to show off. I wanted to let Shindou know I was on his same level. Truth is, I’m not, because I can’t be helpful. He’s anxious because something went wrong with our idea and I don’t even know how to read properly, or at least fast enough to be somewhat useful.”

Takuto’s gaze is low, as if it were full of shame and regret. Munemasa hates it. Sure, before everything happened, he thought Takuto was full of himself and too proud, too perfect. Now, he appears as weak and anxious and Munemasa doesn’t like it. He prefers to see the salty smart-ass he is used to.

“Now you’re about to ask what the hell, sorry, what we did. Shindou wanted to try an alchemical ritual.”

“Alchemical ritual?” Master Gouenji asks and, if he is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Oddly enough, he seems rather interested.

“Yeah, Shindou found it doing his usual research. He’s a bit of a genius, you know,” Munemasa jokes, trying to lighten the load. And Takuto smiles a bit, he can tell. “This alchemical ritual is about bonding… or binding, I don’t know, our individual powers. We wanted to try it because, according to Shindou, we could fly.”

“Oh, union of intentions. And can you fly now?” Master Gouenji is really interested, more than angry.

Takuto finally lifts his chin and Munemasa can feel he is more relaxed.

“We didn’t try, actually, because something happened after we mixed our powers. The ritual was disturbed in the end by a cherry blossom.”

Master Gouenji sighs. But he doesn’t say anything.

“Shindou panicked and I felt all of it. So, I thought the cherry blossom made our emotions bond… or bind, too. Like our powers. Do you think it can be the case?”

Munemasa never spoke this much in all his life, he is pretty sure about it. But he trusts Master Gouenji. Well, Master Gouenji is almost his only family, at this point.

“It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t h–”

“You’re very, very smart, Ibuki,” Master Gouenji says, interrupting Takuto, who is blatantly getting anxious again. “You are emotionally strong because you know how to deal with the challenges of your life alone, due to your past. It’s because of this that you could make an alchemical ritual with such ease, even though you’re studying magic for a short time. And you have a point. You can feel each other’s emotions because of the cherry blossom disturbing the ritual.”

Takuto nods, absently. “It’s true. I should have trusted your judgement about this without causing trouble, Master Gouenji.”

“It’s not that much trouble,” Master Gouenji replies. Takuto opens his mouth in surprise and Munemasa is quite shocked by that assertion, too. “Is it a problem for you? Feeling each other’s emotion?”

Munemasa shakes his head immediately.

Takuto sighs. “I… I don’t know if it’s… healthy?” He admits and Munemasa hasn’t thought about that. Maybe he doesn’t have an interpersonal intelligence and he doesn’t know how relationships with other people have to be, but he feels his heart stinging a little. Perhaps, Takuto feels his broken heart and he looks at him. Munemasa diverts his gaze.

“Is there a way to… unbind us?”

“No, Shindou. There’s no way to do it, when it comes to ancient legends and philosophy. Alternatively, you could spend your entire life trying to find a way to unbind the two of you. I don’t recommend it.”

“Ancient legends?” Munemasa asks, genuinely curious.

Master Gouenji leaves food and he pays attention to his students only, as if he is about to tell something very important. “The cherry blossom, during your ritual, had a meaning. Konohanasakuya-hime was the goddess of Mount Fuji and her symbol was Sakura. You were two, so we should refer to the legend about her love with Ninigi. Do you know them, right?”

Munemasa nods and watches Takuto doing it too.

Everyone knows the gods of the temples. Moreover, Munemasa’s family is very religious.

“Well, you have to know them, clearly. But the legend is less famous. Ninigi thought Sakuya-hime was carrying another man’s son, so he forced her to prove her loyalty in a horrible and cruel way. Even though it was Sakuya-hime’s choice to do such a thing.”

“Was she loyal, in the end?” Takuto whispers.

“She was. She had three sons with Ninigi. So, when it comes to a couple, the cherry blossom can bring loyalty, sincerity, honesty. That’s why you can feel each other’s emotion.”

“But can it bring the urge to be nearest as possible to the other person?” Takuto asks, this time in a louder voice.

Munemasa is surprised, because he thought he was the only one to feel the urge to be with Takuto, to touch him, to comfort him.

Master Gouenji shakes his head. “A symbol can reinforce what already exists. Your bond had a history before the ritual.”

“We didn’t–” Munemasa tries to say.

“Well,” Master Gouenji cuts him off. “Perhaps the two of you were not true to yourselves. You were only full of pride and prejudice. But you should talk it out. Because you have to learn how to cope with this bond… or bind, for the rest of your lives.”

They lay down on the lawn. Munemasa observes the cherry blossomed branches move slowly because of the wind. Some petals fall down.

He is relaxed. He decides that, since he came to Master Gouenji’s school, he loves Hanami. Those flowers are something like rebirth for him. It is as if this were his real first Hanami.

But at that moment, something is disturbing his meditation. Something like sadness. He feels it in his throat. It is strange how he now can recognize the emotions through the impact they have on the human body.

“Takuto,” he whispers. “You are not relaxing, nor meditating.”

Takuto sighs, but he doesn’t say anything.

“There is something about Hanami,” Munemasa goes on, then. “Something that explains why you are the only one who stayed here, at Master Gouenji’s. Something that explains why this is only the second time I see you between the cherry trees.”

“You talk a lot, lately,” Takuto snaps, opening his eyes and turning his gaze to Munemasa.

He feels attacked. Yeah, it is true he never spoke so much, but he thought… Well, apparently he was wrong and he is delusional. Of course, Takuto now thinks he is on his same level, but they are not friends. He is being annoying.

“I’m sorry,” he just says, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

Maybe he should avoid talking about personal issues at all. He doesn’t know how real friendships work. And he wants one with Takuto, so he could make an effort.

“Munemasa,” Takuto calls him. “Stop overthinking about what I said… I’m a piece of shit.”

“Wow, Shindou Takuto cursing!” Munemasa bursts out laughing. “The prince… The artist… The musician… The erudite…”

Takuto chuckles. “You learned such big words during these few months.”

“Just to tease you. At least in my mind,” Munemasa jokes.

The truth is, everything is funnier. He can just accept he has to wait to know Takuto better, even though they already share a lot and they have the need to understand what the other is feeling.

Munemasa is truly concerned, but also it is a little tedious to have someone else’s emotion ruining his day with a headache or a stomach ache.

Silence falls between them.

Munemasa tries to relax again, without overthinking his relationship with Takuto. Hanami. Hanami and meditation is all he has to think about.

“My mother died.”

Munemasa opens his eyes wide. Takuto is speaking. He is looking at the sky, with the arms crossed under his head. His profile is delicate as always, with some wavy locks falling on his white cheekbones. But his brown eyes are sad.

Munemasa stays silent. It is time to let Takuto unload his sadness.

“I was seven. She left for Hanami with her handmaids, because she was depressed. She suffered a lot because of anxiety and sadness. My father didn’t know what to do, so he encouraged her to leave for Hanami, because some meditation could have helped.”

“Did it help?” Munemasa asks in a low voice.

“Maybe? I will never know. She didn’t come back because her carriage was assaulted by some bandits of the woods when she was returning home. They killed her and her handmaids.”

“Oh,” he replies. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to comfort someone who has lost a loved one.

“Don’t worry,” Takuto says, reading his emotion. “I’m just… If only I had been capable of making her happy, she would have never left. I was her son, every mom is happy because of her children. She wasn’t. So, I hate Hanami, because–”

“This is a load of bullshit,” Munemasa cuts him off. He gets up and sits on the lawn, turning his body towards Takuto. “Yeah, see, I don’t know how to comfort people, but at least I know it’s not your fault and it is really stupid from your part to believe such a stupid thing.”

“I–”

“You know, I hate my father with all myself. He beat my mother and me. I was the weird one and she was just… a woman.  I couldn’t do a thing about it. We were poor and I am ignorant. But my mother always told me that her life is worth living because she has me. And this is the reason why your mother decided to leave for Hanami. To get better for you.”

“How would you… How would you know, Munemasa?”

Takuto is crying. Munemasa didn’t know Takuto could be this sensitive and that makes him sad. Watching Takuto cry is… the worst thing that happened to him, except for his father.

“I know I’m right, because where I live a lot of people suffered because they had nothing. They were depressed as you said, actually. And some of them…” Munemasa doesn’t know if he is right, in ending the sentence. He doesn’t want to trigger Takuto even more. But Takuto should know how the world works outside his cotton wool. “Some of them killed themselves, Takuto. It was so… so bad to look at them! Trust me. Your mother didn’t, because she had you. I can bet everything I have on it.”

Takuto finally looks at him. He has shiny eyes, but he looks like he is surprised by Munemasa’s speech. Munemasa is, too.

“I didn’t know… I didn’t know you had to go through all of this before coming here and now I feel like a real piece of shit.”

Munemasa startles. “What? This isn’t about me, Taku–”

“I know but I am so sorry, Munemasa. I was a piece of shit when you first arrived here, without knowing how your life was. Mine was perfect.”

“Well, it really wasn’t,” Munemasa notices, after all they have talked about.

Takuto waves his hand. “Yeah, I lost my mother, but my father is so sweet and caring to me. We are rich. My home is big and elegant, we have handmaids and knights working for us. And I judged you because you couldn’t speak to a bunch of spoiled little brats.”

“You are not spoiled little brats.”

“We really are,” Takuto replies, grinning.

He gets up, sitting in front of Munemasa and they look at each other.

Munemasa cannot stand Takuto’s gaze, when it is so intense. It is as if he could read his mind. And he kind of does, but it is… beautiful. To feel so accepted, understood, cared about.

“I’m sorry,” Takuto says again.

“You shouldn’t be,” Munemasa decides to comfort him. “It’s not just your fault. I was a difficult kid even before coming here. I had no friends and the kids who played and worked with me couldn’t stand my presence. I was too different from then, I just didn’t fit and… now I know it was not entirely my fault, that I am truly different. But…”

“We know our faults, now. I think that is what Master Gouenji wanted from us. So, we don’t have to worry anymore. It is what it is.”

Takuto smiles at him. He is so beautiful while he does.

Munemasa makes some pink petals swirl around him, making Takuto blush.

He wants to say it aloud. That Takuto is the most beautiful human ever. With those petals dancing around him, making him look like a pixie.

He doesn’t say anything.

Fifth day. Hand in hand, we are going to fly so high.

“I think,” Master Gouenji says, while he drinks some milk. “I think that when you will know each other better, you can control this bond you have, so you don’t have to feel your emotions too… deeply.”

Takuto nods, smiling. “I think so. And maybe we will know how to comfort each other, so the feeling can pass in a sudden.”

“Oh!” Master Gouenji exclaims. “So, Shindou, you’re planning to be near Ibuki for the rest of your life? You know, you couldn’t comfort each other from a distance.”

“I’m considering being the least far as possible, due to the need of…”

Takuto can’t seem to go on with his sentence, he is too embarrassed to talk.

Master Gouenji chuckles.

“Master Gouenji!” Munemasa interjects. “Are you making fun of Shindou?”

“I could never,” Master Gouenji says, with a smile. “You are my students, not my friends.”

But that sentence seemed to mean something more.

Munemasa doesn’t think that Master Gouenji is their friend, but certainly he is more friendly with them than with the others. Perhaps, it is because they are the unlucky ones and he keeps an eye on them.

“I read it in your eyes,” Master Gouenji wakes him from his thoughts. “Don’t you dare to tell anyone that I play favourites.”

“Do you?” Takuto asks, with a mischievous smile.

Munemasa is so happy. In fact, he is the happiest.

Since he and Takuto shared their secrets and their traumas, it is as if they are relieved of a heavy burden. Takuto is the pretentious smart-ass he has always liked so much and he is the silent Munemasa, but less silent than usual, because now he has a friend to talk to.

“I don’t, Shindou. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“If someone else did what we did…” Takuto smirks. “Would you have gotten angry?”

“Fortunately, dear Shindou,” Master Gouenji replies with a jokingly tone. “Nobody in this school would be capable of doing what you did. I’m still impressed that you actually could.”

“But Master Gouenji, now that I’m thinking about it,” Munemasa changes subject. “You seemed to know this alchemic formula really well. Did you use it personally?”

“Tch,” Master Gouenji makes an annoyed sound, but he is smiling. “It is none of your business. I don’t know why this breakfast became so friendly. We’re not friends, you rookies.”

Munemasa and Takuto burst out laughing.

“Go away and do something useful. I’m going to do the cleaning.”

“Okay, dad– Oh, I wanted to say Master.”

Takuto couldn’t finish the answer that Munemasa took him by the wrist and dragged him away, while laughing.

Master Gouenji is shaking his head with affection, thinking Munemasa is not looking at him.

They are in the garden again. They have a habit now: Munemasa lays on the right, Takuto lays on the left. But they’re nearer than the day before. Munemasa can hear Takuto’s soft breath without effort.

Munemasa swears to himself that he could live like this for the rest of his life.

But in nine days their schoolmates are going to be back and everything is going to change.

He sighs, and then he turns towards Takuto.

“Hey,” he calls him with a smile. He is smiling a lot, lately. “We should try our combined power. We have to see if now we can fly. It’s been two days and…”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Takuto replies.

He doesn’t say anything. He stands up and gives his hand to Munemasa, who takes it, making their fingers intertwine.

Every form of anxiety and stress left their bodies. Munemasa can only feel relaxation and joy between them and it is… overwhelming. Having such a strong bond with someone else.

They inhale deeply, at the same moment.

“We should…” Takuto tries to say.

“Yeah…” Munamsa replies.

They are uncertain but then they look into each other’s eyes and something changes.

Their feet leave the ground and they are, indeed, flying.

They fly over the trees, hand in hand. They look down and laugh. They laugh a lot, intertwining their fingers even stronger.

Under them, Master Gouenji’s garden looks like a delicate pink sea, because of the cherry blossoms. The view is enchanting.

“Can you believe it?” Takuto shouts out, trying to move in the air. He does a pirouette and Munemasa laughs. “This is…”

“Yeah. We did it,” Munemasa states, closing his eyes and feeling his body loosen.

He is distracted, so he startles when he feels two arms embracing his body.

“Careful!” He whispers when it seems they are losing altitude, passing his arm around Takuto’s waist.

Their bodies fit together perfectly and Munemasa feels something twirling in his stomach and the urge of doing something. He looks at Takuto’s angelic face and at his thin lips and he would like to… kiss them.

It is the first time he thinks of Takuto this way and he blushes furiously when he remembers the boy can feel his attraction.

Takuto lifts his gaze to meet Munemasa’s and he feels another emotion twirling his stomach and he understands that what he feels is totally reciprocated.

They look into each other’s eyes what it feels like a hundred years.

Takuto's brown eyes are so sweet when looking at him, so different from before Hanami, when he seemed to despise Munemasa for everything he did.

“I think…” Takuto says, interrupting the moment. “I think we should go down.”

Munemasa nods and he flies down calmly, bringing Takuto with him.

When their feet touch the ground, they finally move away, even though with reluctance.

“It was wonderful,” Munemasa admits. “I think we can fly alone, too, but it was wonderful doing it together.”

Takuto nods. “It really was.”

“Takuto, could I ask you something?”

Takuto sits again on the lawn between the cherry trees and Munemasa imitates him.

“Ask me anything,” he replies with a sweet smile.

Munemasa sighs, passing a hand through his hair. He is a little bit embarrassed, but he needs to find answers. “Is it… normal to like a boy when you are a boy?”

Takuto’s smile deepens. “It is. Maybe it’s not common in the real world, but in our magic world it is quite accepted. I think Master Gouenji has a husband whom he bonded with, like us.”

“A… husband? But they don’t live together!”

Shindou shrugs. “I don’t know, if they’re happy like this, we shouldn’t care.”

Munemasa tilts his head. “You are right. But how do you know this?”

Takuto crosses his leg and plays with his fingers through the blades of glass. “We all know Master Gouenji has a loved one who lives far away. Once, he came here. He has a very strong power, but he decided to live in Tokyo and teach magic in a different way. So, this morning, when Master Gouenji answered that it was none of our business, I thought he bonded with him.”

“Oh,” Munemasa murmurs. “I didn’t know about any of this.”

Takuto smiles at him with encouragement.

“Takuto, can I ask you a personal question now?”

“You can ask me anything, as I said,” Takuto repeats, leaning his cheek on the palm of his hand, as if for paying better attention at Munemasa.

“I– I,” he stammers, because, for fuck’s sake, maybe it is a too personal question. He shouldn’t ask something like that. “Have you ever liked another boy?” He eventually does, because he needs to know everything.

“I do like boys,” Takuto answers and looks at him intensely.

“Oh, fine,” Munemasa replies and he feels his face setting on fire. “Good. That is… good.”

Takuto chuckles. “There’s nothing wrong in liking a boy, Munemasa.”

“Yeah, I know, well, I didn’t know it could happen, but yeah, there is nothing wrong,” he says, but he doesn’t know if what he’s saying makes some sense. “How did you…”

“I liked Kirino Ranmaru. You know, my best friend. Pink hair. Blue eyes.”

Oh.

Oh.

Munemasa knows very well who Kirino is. He is a very pretty boy and he is one of the best students when it comes to care of herbs and magical creatures. He has the power of healing and, when Munemasa firstly met him, he was so envious of it.

“He is… pretty. Are you two… together?” He dares to ask.

He doesn’t like what he asked and not because it may be too intrusive—even if it really is—but because he doesn’t want to know if Takuto loves someone else.

Oh. Is this feeling the famous jealousy everyone talks about?

“We were, but not anymore,” Takuto states, and Munemasa relaxes.

For fuck’s sake, he doesn’t know how to manage his emotions and Takuto feels them all. He is so, so stupid, but he can’t control what he feels for that boy.

“I know you’re about to ask why, so I’ll tell you already,” Takuto goes on, giggling. “We were together for a long time, but at the end of the day we understood we were great friends and nothing more. Sure, I think he’s beautiful, but when I noticed I like another person I couldn’t stay with him anymore. It doesn’t feel right, you know.”

No, Munemasa doesn’t know. Because he has zero experience in matters of… love.

Oh.

He is going to ruin himself. This pixie boy is ruining him, too.

But then he thinks that Takuto said he likes another boy. Sure, he didn’t say who he is, but he doubts it can be him. He is too different from Kirino. Kirino is nice, gentle, rich and intelligent. He is a poor boy coming from a poor family, he is not nice, not gentle; basically, he is a pain in the ass. He is taller than Kirino, bigger than Kirino, his hair is a white mess and on his face there always is a frown.

It cannot be him.

But Munemasa functions differently from everyone. And he pines without a flicker of shame—because he has been pining for Takuto since when he arrived at Master Gouenji’s, now it is as clear as water. He pines and he doesn’t care if it is mutual.

He feels like a primitive human being in a civilized land. He chuckles to himself.

“I think I like you, Takuto,” he admits, without thinking.

Takuto seems amused, but he doesn’t make fun of Munemasa. In fact, his face looks like he is delighted by Munemasa’s admission.

“I like you, too, Munemasa,” he says. “And I’m sorry, but I think you’re stuck with me forever now. With our bonding… or binding.”

“I’m not,” Munemasa replies, smirking. “I’m not sorry at all.”