Archive of Our Own

you bitch ass motherfucker

you touch me one more time with your ugly hands and i'll fucking end you

bitch

He was talking about you.

git gud scrub

pull your own weight or i'm dumping your body into jueyun karst

Aww thank you <3

People call it gap moe <3

It gets me whatever I want <3

Disgusting.

I was talking about you.

Well well. If it isn't our pyro user strolling in ten minutes late once again.

I don't want to spend more time here than necessary.

Believe me, the feeling is mutual.

Tch.

they dropped the area hours ago

other teams could’ve cleared it

Well, you certainly have higher expectations of other teams than I do.

There is a reason our team is still top 10 despite having nonexistent teamwork.

oh you think they're conspiracies, do you?

wait till you hear about the resin fraud

Can we PLEASE get a new team.

:|

Do you have to do this every time.

They already started.

Hello Travelers!

Today, the newest floor to the Spiral Abyss was added.

Dozens of teams have already attempted this daunting challenge, but none have been able to clear it yet.

Which team will prevail? What lays beyond the abyss?!

We’ll have all the breaking news for you right here, so don’t miss out.

What’s this? It appears that Team BP has arrived on the scene!

For those who are new to the game, Team BP is currently ranked number 8 in the world.

They have been responsible for clearing approximately 30% of the abyss chambers.

Their members are all on the top 20 most powerful players list.

They sure suck at working together, but at the very least there’s no shortage of explosions and property damage when they’re there!

For more information, Outrider Amber is on the scene!

Scaramouche, if you hit me one more time I will break your fingers in real life.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m on the same team as you buffoons.

No, I am simply waiting for the right moment to swoop in and steal your kill.

Please carry on.

If you say that line about the candy bar and acting different when I’m hungry one more time, I will freeze your mouth shut.

Hey guys! Amber on the scene here.

Team BP is once again tearing the floor up.

I can’t see much because Diluc just unleashed his fire birdy attack uselessly at a hoard of pyro slimes but hey, you do you, friend!

Oh! I hear the sound of the finishing alarm.

Congrats, folks! That’s another floor cleared.

Will it be another staircase beyond the door? Or will there actually be—

Wait, huh?

That’s not our team next to “First Cleared”.

Team Liyue? Who is that?

They do not appear to be ranked.

this wouldn’t have happened if strawberry shortcake pulled his weight

I did double the amount of damage you did.

and you had to be revived SEVEN times

You need to do better with the support then.

Shut it.

speaking of fucking pitiful numbers

childe

A likely excuse.

you better watch your kneecaps asshole

Oh. It went through.

Hello. Thank you for letting me join your world.

My apologies, but abyss challenge?

Oh yes, I did see something about that in the announcements.

Were you participating?

No. Should I?

Your name was at the top of the requestable cooperative gameplay list.

Should I not have?

Childe. Hi.

:|

Oh, you found out faster than I thought

Rude

Just because I turned you down doesn’t mean I don’t have one

Ganyu? Yeah

She’s improved so much. I’m really proud of her

Do you have an opening on your team?

Sorry, no

We added Xiao a couple weeks ago so we’re all filled up

That reminds me. You guys never told me why you’re on that team anyway

Doesn’t seem like you’re having much fun

Hey stranger! Thanks for letting me into your world <3

I’m struggling soooo hard on the recent co-op event. Can you help me?

Yay! You’re the best <3

It’s so difficult playing by myself sometimes, you know? Little old me, against the whole world...

But now that you’re here, I have nothing to fear anymore <3

Can I add you to my friends list?

...

Please tell me you didn’t fall for that

Unbelievable. You’re even bigger of an idiot than I thought.

Also don’t use my face.

Anyone who compliments your archery skills is immediately sus

You suck at it

Anyway, I’ve told you again and again that there have been reports of hacking

Do you listen to me at all?

:|

Hey friend, welcome back! <3

While you were afk, I stole all your sea conches that you need for character ascension and killed you twice, just because I can <3

Later, sucker! <3

you’re one spot higher than me on this month’s rankings

i’m making sure that it won’t happen again, asshole

Seeya! <3

You really decided to be friends with someone like that?

He just likes fighting him.

The two of them waste all our healing resources fighting each other.

No.

He what

You told me you two were friends.

She said she wanted to be on a famous team and bandwagon off of our successes.

And you let her on because you said you admired her honesty.

Yes it does.

Yeah it does

Anyway, forget Genshin

You guys want to come over? I got a new game right here that I can’t wait to play

You should see the boys in this one. One of them is just there to look pretty and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be your favorite, Childe

I can be over in five.

Should I bring some tissues?

Two boxes please. I have a feeling this one’s going to emotionally destroy me

Childe, you coming?

You had more than two weeks

Do you need help?

Your loss.

Oh, hello.

I was not expecting to run into you again.

No. I did as you instructed and clicked the random matchmaking button.

Of course.

You are very good at fighting, from what I remember.

I can see that.

I am good at creating shields.

Other than that, no.

My damage output is low. My specials do not work most of the time. My attacks are inconsistent and scale terribly.

I have no invincibility frames during my attacks. I can barely generate my own energy particles.

In addition, my petrify ability is unreliable and does not work against some mobs. Dominus Lapidis does pitiful damage and scales wildly based on external terrain.

As my friend Venti always informs me, I am a Useless Good-For-Nothing Blockhead who built my kit completely wrong and put all my assets into my appearance instead.

Thank you, but it is alright. I have already accepted it.

Of course.

Hey loser, where you at?

She’s crying and wants you to bring your narwhale onesie.

Ow.

Hmph

Still? It’s been hours

Is that coop really that hard for you

What.

“Consensual” “Robbing”

Childe, do you remember that teams share the same resources?

Half?

Signora isn’t the one you should be worrying about.

You can stop once you make back the amount you gave away.

I’ve already made back double what you lost <3

an eye for an eye bitch

...is that what it stands for?

please tell me you’re joking

What

???

What did you do?

Hm

Well, I feel bad for you. I really do

But I’m currently outside experiencing the real world. Breathing in fresh air. Touching the grass

There’s life outside Genshin, you know

Anyway

Go find some rando to coop with you. I’m busy

Oh.